Holodomybeer | Stalin: Show Trials & Killing Trotsky (Part 3)

Grab your nachos and pick axe, it’s time to take down Trotsky. Stalin: Show Trials & Killing Trotsky (Part 3) The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened. For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon patreon.com/fintaylor This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Surfshark. Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at surfshark.com/fvh Chapters; 00:00 - The Great Terror 05:08 - Red Flags everywhere 09:28 - Eliminating the Pret Class 15:26 - Peas in a purge 20:52 - Scum, Prostitute, deserves it 28:11 - Dry execution 32:20 - Who’s that for? 34:47 - Tying up the loose ends 40:50 - Where are your nachos? 47:44 - Burnham-Gvir pact Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:27Speaker 01

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• 1:23Speaker 03

  Welcome back to Finversus History. Joining me is Horatio Grouse.

• 1:28Speaker 04

  Oh, it's part three of Stalin. Fold your prostates back out. This is about as good as it gets. It doesn't get better than this. In the 20th century history, Stalin, mid 30s onwards.

• 1:42Speaker 03

  You were saying potentially our biggest episode yet, which I think is definitely up there for sure. This is The Great Terror. It's terrifying. Are you feeling terrifying?

• 1:51Speaker 04

  This is oogly boogly.

• 1:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is a horror film.

• 1:54Speaker 04

  Yeah. You know, in this episode, we're going to deal with Stalin's Great Terror, with the Gulags, with the assassination of Trotsky, and then the two genders will meet. Yeah? When two become one.

• 2:10Speaker 03

  The rutting stags. Never have two stags rutted harder than Stalin hit them.

• 2:14Speaker 04

  The Nazi-Soviet Pact. My god. It doesn't get bigger than this. This is a juicy steak. Okay? Enjoy it because as sure as water turns to snow, there will be a woman on at some point.

• 2:29Speaker 03

  Right. Which means it's unlikely, yeah. It might not happen.

• 2:34Speaker 04

  I don't know. All right, I'm excited. And can you blame me?

• 2:38Speaker 03

  No, I can't blame you.

• 2:39Speaker 04

  Can you blame me?

• 2:39Speaker 03

  I can't blame you. There's a lot of good stuff.

• 2:42Speaker 04

  So, we're in the mid...

• 2:42Speaker 03

  I love that it's called The Great Terror and we've just had one of the worst famines in history. And then we've moved on to the next chapter, which is The Great Terror. Sort of undermines what's just happened.

• 2:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, you think that was... It should be called You Think That Was Bad?

• 2:55Speaker 03

  That's what's great about Russian history. It's just each chapter is like...

• 2:58Speaker 04

  Hold my beer. Hold my beer. Hold my beer.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Hold my beer.

• 3:05Speaker 04

  We had the Holodomor and now we have the Holodomor beer.

• 3:10Speaker 04

  You thought that was bad. By the mid 30s, Stalin, you know, he, this is like, burn him in four years' time. The change has been foundational. Okay? Pret is dissolved. No more pret. Everything's Greg's. You go to the Waldorf, it's Greg's. Right? Claridge is Greg's. Number 10 North, this is, you know, like Spectre, its tentacles are everywhere. Yeah? You go to State of the Ritz, where it's just a big Greg's.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  You've forgotten what food that isn't Greg's tastes like.

• 3:40Speaker 04

  Forced collectivization. The Holodomor has devastated the Ukrainian countryside as well as the Holodomur, okay?

• 3:50Speaker 03

  11 million cows.

• 3:51Speaker 04

  11 million cows are gone. Yeah? And they're not even being made into beef. Have you seen how much beef is in a cow? Have you seen those? Do you get those videos?

• 3:58Speaker 03

  No.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  We have very different algorithms. I get Welsh butchers showing me how much... I basically am tempted, much in the way that I subscribe to olive oil. I'm often tempted...

• 4:07Speaker 03

  Beef subscription.

• 4:08Speaker 04

  No. If I have the... I am already married, thank you. If I, if I have...

• 4:13Speaker 03

  No worries.

• 4:15Speaker 04

  If I had the freezer space, you buy a whole cow at once, right? The amount of beef you get in a cow.

• 4:22Speaker 03

  You're already on the road to that with you buy wholesale, right?

• 4:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:26Speaker 03

  You buy big cuts of meat and then you freeze them.

• 4:28Speaker 04

  My freezer space is taken up with a lot of kids' food, like turkey dinosaurs and potato waffles.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  Right. So what you want is an actual cold room and a hanging carcass. That's the dream. When you start building the fucking Eagles' nest.

• 4:41Speaker 04

  When I start building Berthas Garden in the home counties, which is the endpoint of this podcast. Where I can look out across the Kent Downs from the Eagles' nest. Yeah? I will have a cold room and I'll, some people will come around and I'll open the door and I'll show them it and they'll be slightly menacing. I'll be like, you know, you get the wrong side of me. I'll hang you up in my cold room and I'll eat you like a cow.

• 5:03Speaker 03

  But if you want my right side, what flank of beef would you like?

• 5:05Speaker 04

  What would you like? Would you like a saloon today or a ribeye? I've got everything. I want an entire cow in here. The amount of beef.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  How long does a cow keep in a cold room?

• 5:12Speaker 04

  I think it's just, it's just, you know...

• 5:14Speaker 03

  If it's cold, it's fine.

• 5:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, how long is stuff keeping in the freezer? It's the freezer. It's in, I think it's forever, isn't it?

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Really?

• 5:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, you're not going to get ill. It's just going to taste like dust.

• 5:23Speaker 04

  It's just going to get a bit chewy, isn't it?

• 5:24Speaker 03

  Okay, but there's quality difference for beef.

• 5:27Speaker 04

  I'm sure some chef nonce listening will be like, huh, actually...

• 5:31Speaker 03

  A good pedophile.

• 5:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm sure a pedophile would complain.

• 5:36Speaker 05

  Because the bacteria in there, fucked? Are they dead? Do they leave?

• 5:39Speaker 03

  They're just fucked up.

• 5:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, they're frozen.

• 5:42Speaker 05

  So they're kind of waiting?

• 5:44Speaker 04

  I think they're waiting.

• 5:45Speaker 05

  Bacteria are kind of immortal? You can get a cryo chamber of bacteria?

• 5:48Speaker 03

  It did say about four weeks.

• 5:49Speaker 04

  Four weeks?

• 5:50Speaker 05

  No, indefinitely.

• 5:52Speaker 03

  Did it say that?

• 5:52Speaker 04

  Food stored continuously. Safe to eat indefinitely, although quality and flavor decline after a few months. Yeah, okay.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  Okay, that's good.

• 5:58Speaker 04

  So you've got about four to 12 months for quality of raw meat.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  So now you're inviting people you don't even like over just to try and finish this fucking cow?

• 6:05Speaker 04

  No, I'm not. I'm just muk-banging it myself. Next grill again for dinner while I look out over the Kent Downs from the nest. Yeah? With my massive fireplace. It was a gift from Mussolini. Anyway, let's get back to Stalin, part three. He has transformed Soviet society.

• 6:24Speaker 03

  That's fair to say.

• 6:25Speaker 04

  And he's been reading about Ivan the Terrible.

• 6:28Speaker 03

  Which, yeah. Yeah, I guess this is one of the few red flags that start to appear for Stalin.

• 6:34Speaker 04

  Well, he's a Soviet. I mean, there's a lot of red flags. This is because it's communism.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  Right.

• 6:38Speaker 04

  They're fucking everywhere.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  And that's what makes it confusing.

• 6:41Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  To know what's a red flag. That's why he managed to get away with so much.

• 6:43Speaker 04

  What is a red flag when there are red flags on every lamppost? So he reads about Ivan the Terrible, but maybe starts to draw the wrong lessons from him.

• 6:52Speaker 03

  Yes, from the terrible.

• 6:54Speaker 04

  As he puts it, "Death is the solution to all problems."

• 6:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, so he thought it was Ivan the Brilliant, which is a different reading.

• 6:59Speaker 04

  No man, no problem. It's his cover version of No Woman, No Cry. No man, no problem. Yeah, he starts to get these lessons from Ivan the Terrible. You know, I mean, if you're into Russian history and then you're acting on it, it's bad.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  Right, right.

• 7:15Speaker 04

  So, now there's a bloke called Kirav, who is his mate, I think, who is a loyal supporter and is becoming one of the most popular figures in the Communist Party.

• 7:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, you can't be liked.

• 7:25Speaker 04

  No.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  You can't be liked around the office.

• 7:28Speaker 04

  You've got, it's such a needle, you've got a thread.

• 7:31Speaker 03

  Because you can't be too crap. And you just can't be, and you can't be disliked. You've just kind of got to be... It is sort of like The Traitors, where the people who go under the radar, the ones who win.

• 7:39Speaker 04

  100%. It is, this is celebrity traitors.

• 7:42Speaker 03

  You've got to come out of the woodwork. Episode seven, episode eight is when you do the explosive stuff. But you've got to be just blending in.

• 7:49Speaker 04

  And if you're, the thing is, the problem that people that go on The Traitors, they are, you know, this is the most exciting thing that will ever happen to them. And so they're trying to use it to build a platform that they can put out a shit web series afterwards. Right? Reviewing cars or whatever. So the problem is they get too giddy and excited about the platform they have, when really, they need to bide their time.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  Bide their time.

• 8:08Speaker 04

  And also, you know, if you've got a deformity, you're out, the vote for you first.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  I remember Traitors, one of the first Traitors seasons, Aubrey was the first guy, he was this old guy who said that he was amazing at reading people and he kept telling everyone, "I'm brilliant at reading people."

• 8:22Speaker 04

  And he had a really big trilby on.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  He was the oldest guy there. And everyone was like, "We have nothing to go off." What about that guy who keeps saying he's amazing at reading people? And he'd done such a big, big read and immediately he was out. Didn't even get a chance.

• 8:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, idiot.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  That's not how you play the power game.

• 8:34Speaker 04

  In Stalin's Russia, he's dead.

• 8:36Speaker 03

  Aubrey, big trilby saying, "I'm a master."

• 8:39Speaker 04

  "I'm amazing at reading people." Well, we'll kill you then. Fucking off. He says he's a master at reading people. He's clearly not. In October 1934, there is a disgruntled communist called Leonid Nikolayev. He walks into the building where Kirav works, okay? But luckily, security guards have stopped him before he reaches Kirav and they find a gun. And Nikolayev is questioned but then released and they give his pistol back to him.

• 9:04Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 9:05Speaker 04

  Weird. Yeah? Six weeks later, he comes back to the office and shoots Kirav in the back of the neck.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  Okay, so the police were like, "Now, don't do that again."

• 9:12Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  And then they load it, they take the safety off. "Don't do that again."

• 9:15Speaker 04

  He works up there, "Don't do that again." When he comes back, "What have you done? What did we tell you?"

• 9:21Speaker 03

  We told him.

• 9:22Speaker 04

  Fucking hell, some people. So, the murder becomes, again, a great turning point, they say. There's a lot of turning points.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  There's a lot of turning points.

• 9:32Speaker 04

  He sort of turned back on himself. He should be nice now. If it's a turning point, he should be really nice.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  It's actually consistent. The problem is he doesn't turn. He's just one direction.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  He's turning 360 every time and just carrying on going forward. Nikolayev is arrested, interrogated, placed on trial and is then convicted and executed by firing squad the same day. Now that is an efficient judge judicial system.

• 9:55Speaker 03

  Think about all the inquiries in liberal democracy Britain. They take years and years. Even the Man City charges, that's good. How long is that going to take? How long does that take? "No, I'm suspicious of you. I'm going to kill all of you."

• 10:07Speaker 04

  Yeah. Suspicious, confession, executed, done. Former political rivals start being accused of organizing Kirav's assassination and it's because Stalin is turning it into a conspiracy. Right? And so he's becoming more and more paranoid. Yeah? Because he's spoken the herd. He's spoken the herd, listening to No Man, No Pro... No man, no problem. Oh man, no problem.

• 10:29Speaker 03

  Really prang him out.

• 10:30Speaker 04

  Strong stuff. Yeah? Super skunk. And then he's looking at all the red flags, being like, "Fucking hell." This is all connecting. So...

• 10:40Speaker 03

  But the whole, the thing is, he also has a bit of an insecurity about his role in the revolution because he wasn't that involved. So the big problem is obviously Trotsky was much more involved, but also any of the old Bolsheviks who are the ones...

• 10:55Speaker 04

  Sorry.

• 10:56Speaker 03

  All Bolsheviks have the most respect and power because they've been there from the start. So they're his biggest threats and he's just killing anyone who's been there for a while.

• 11:02Speaker 04

  Well, he's starting to, yeah. So Kostrotsky's in Mexico, shackled up with the even more insufferable Frida Kahlo. And he's publishing, you know, I mean, he's defaming Stalin is what he's doing.

• 11:15Speaker 03

  Right, okay.

• 11:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's basically publishing, he's like tweeting him. You know, there are people who just won't stop tweeting one person. Sort of Graham Linehan from Mexico.

• 11:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 11:24Speaker 04

  So Stalin's feeling a bit under pressure and you're right, he has this intellectual insecurity about the revolution because he's not one of the big brains of it.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  Trotsky's the only one who has the righteous way to retell events because he was there.

• 11:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly. And also has the only kind of authority figure as well. So what he does is he takes, now it's Inoviev and Kamenev, who were two of the huge Leninist loyalists from the revolution. And they both helped Stalin defeat Trotsky in the twenties. But they then turn against him because of the, all the grain stuff and the, and the holodomobir.

• 11:57Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 11:59Speaker 03

  But they were part of the Troika, which was the three-person leadership straight after Lenin.

• 12:03Speaker 04

  So Kamenev and other prisoners are taken to the Kremlin, confronted by Stalin. Right, Stalin says their guilt has been established, they don't need, they have no like comeback, right? He says, you either confess publicly and your families are spared, or you don't and they all die. They agreed, right? Foreign journalists are invited to watch and these, these are where we get the show trials.

• 12:24Speaker 03

  Show trials, for some reason, it's too close to show tunes and stuff. It feels musical theatre.

• 12:28Speaker 04

  Show trial.

• 12:29Speaker 03

  Yeah, for some reason, and when I think show trial, I think it's got like, it's like a lawyer, you know? You know, he's guilty, your honour.

• 12:36Speaker 04

  Guilty, guilty.

• 12:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 12:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:39Speaker 04

  So they all confessed, all these heroes of the revolution. So these, this is only what, fif- eighteen years on or something? They confessed to plotting assassinations, sabotaging the Soviet economy, conspiring with foreign powers, attempting to restore capitalism, et cetera. And the public are kind of convinced by it. Stalin himself is up at night writing slogans and like actual confessions.

• 12:59Speaker 03

  The left has a unique ability to eat itself because you can always claim someone to be working for another team. In a way, though, the right doesn't really do in the same way.

• 13:07Speaker 04

  No.

• 13:07Speaker 03

  You don't really have, you're not actually a racist.

• 13:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, racists are actually very welcoming to other racists. That's the great irony.

• 13:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:14Speaker 04

  Is that the left are more intolerant?

• 13:16Speaker 03

  No, he's pretending he's a racist, he's not.

• 13:17Speaker 04

  No one's saying that. I trust your racism. You know?

• 13:23Speaker 04

  I think we'll get on, you know? We may be different, but we're both racist.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 13:27Speaker 04

  Whereas the left are like, no, I'm more anti-racist than you, you're actually a bit racist.

• 13:30Speaker 03

  Yes, exactly.

• 13:31Speaker 04

  Yeah. So.

• 13:32Speaker 03

  You're saying you're not racist, but you're thinking racist stuff.

• 13:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're all thinking it.

• 13:35Speaker 03

  Micro racist.

• 13:36Speaker 04

  We're all thinking it.

• 13:40Speaker 04

  We're all thinking it, it's about whether you say it or not, all right? Some people.

• 13:43Speaker 03

  Or you say it too.

• 13:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly. Are you using WhatsApp or are you using Facebook?

• 13:47Speaker 03

  Are the doors closed, are the windows closed? There's different levels.

• 13:50Speaker 04

  Is it, is it, is it WhatsApp or is it Facebook Marketplace?

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 13:57Speaker 04

  My book is out now, reminder, this is still out now and not only that, it's a Sunday Times bestseller.

• 14:03Speaker 03

  Number two, beaten by a guy with a wifi password for a name.

• 14:06Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was gutting, fat cunt with a wifi password for a name. Talking about, I don't know what he's talking about.

• 14:12Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 14:12Speaker 04

  How's it?

• 14:13Speaker 03

  It's like a myth, like health myths, deep thoughts.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  Some bollocks, anyway.

• 14:16Speaker 03

  But you ate Gillian Anderson for breakfast.

• 14:18Speaker 04

  I ate Gillian, and I would eat Gillian Anderson for breakfast, I will still like to do that. Gillian, if you're listening.

• 14:22Speaker 03

  Yeah, ideal breakfast.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  Let's put the books down. Yeah.

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Let's stop fighting.

• 14:26Speaker 04

  Stop fighting, Gillian.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  What's really going on?

• 14:28Speaker 04

  Come over. It was number one Saturday Times bestseller, which I didn't realise was a thing until my publishers had sent me that and I was like, I've never, never heard of that before. And he went, yeah, no one really cares.

• 14:35Speaker 03

  Right.

• 14:36Speaker 04

  It's still available and you know, with the gift, the Christmas season coming up, what am I going to get my dad? This book, yeah?

• 14:43Speaker 03

  It's a great Christmas gift.

• 14:44Speaker 04

  It's a great, a great stocking filler, yeah?

• 14:46Speaker 03

  You don't want to get a bloke, hard to buy for, if he wants something, he'll buy it himself. Introduce him.

• 14:52Speaker 04

  Introduce him, yeah.

• 14:53Speaker 03

  To a new world of ideas.

• 14:55Speaker 04

  To the esteemed racist work of Finn Taylor has written.

• 14:59Speaker 03

  My words.

• 15:00Speaker 04

  My words.

• 15:02Speaker 04

  My words. Who was eating, in the history section, who's eating my dust? Lucy Worsley.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck.

• 15:07Speaker 04

  See you later, love.

• 15:11Speaker 03

  Get in the bin, Lucy.

• 15:12Speaker 04

  Get in the bin, love, yeah, that's where you belong. Mrs Holland and Sandbrook, get to fuck, mate.

• 15:16Speaker 03

  Oh shit.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, they ate my dust.

• 15:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, fucking punctual.

• 15:19Speaker 04

  Number 10 on the list, who fucking cares? Buy the book, it's out now.

• 15:23Speaker 00

  Cheers to fall savings at Whole Foods Market, home of higher ingredient standards. This Halloween, share chocolates and candies made without that spooky high fructose corn syrup. Throwing a party? Make it easy with a berry chantilly cake. Ready to cook pizza? No antibiotics ever chicken wings and sushi made fresh daily. Fall gatherings never tasted better. Save through November 3rd at Whole Foods Market.

• 15:50Speaker 01

  Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com.

• 16:05Speaker 04

  Right, so, this is, but this is probably like, this is, to what my point earlier, this is the foundational left eating itself moment, isn't it? This is kind of the archetype, this is the, the main time that the left implodes.

• 16:18Speaker 03

  But there's a lot of communism in the 20th century and it's because it's the first time it's been tried, this sets the tone for how it happens almost any, every other place.

• 16:26Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 16:26Speaker 03

  Pol Pot, Communist China, it has very similar, but this is the first time to do it, really.

• 16:31Speaker 04

  But then people would say.

• 16:32Speaker 03

  East Germany.

• 16:33Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, but then people, people would say, this is inevitable when these ideas come into contact with the reality.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  Right.

• 16:40Speaker 04

  That's what people would argue.

• 16:41Speaker 03

  Who's people, you?

• 16:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what I would say, yeah. Me and Jeremy Clarkson, that's what we'd say, writing a Times op-ed.

• 16:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 16:48Speaker 04

  So.

• 16:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, just on your iPad in your pants, you got a glasses like that.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 16:52Speaker 03

  Andy Burdum is a communist.

• 16:55Speaker 04

  He's going to eliminate the preck class, we can't be getting precked, he's going to kill Caleb and everything's going to be Greg's. You're going to stay at Five Star, it's just Greg's, that's all it's going to be.

• 17:02Speaker 03

  Don't read it through once, send it off.

• 17:03Speaker 04

  Send it off, publish it, I'll take the money, yeah. And then I'll go and fucking kill a cow or something. Now, so in just a few years, Stalin basically kills everyone that had, from the October Revolution.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:14Speaker 04

  So he is, he is the remaining guy from the revolution.

• 17:18Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:18Speaker 04

  Apart from Trotsky, who's still in Mexico, right? So this purge, now is it the first, is it the first kind of political purge almost? Certainly the great purges.

• 17:28Speaker 03

  Well, I mean, he's inspired by the, even the terrible who did it to the boyars, if you remember, the kind of elite class of the aristocracy. He purged them.

• 17:35Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  So I don't know, I guess the, in a modern sense, potentially.

• 17:38Speaker 04

  But I guess, you know, purging.

• 17:39Speaker 03

  But then Hitler did like, no, but that was after this, Night of the Long Lives.

• 17:43Speaker 04

  It was about the same time, actually, 34.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  So they're both, they're two, you know, purging.

• 17:46Speaker 04

  They're peas in a pod.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Purges in a pod.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  Purges in a pod, right? Hitler and Stalin, parallel lives, yeah?

• 17:53Speaker 03

  Peas in a purge.

• 17:54Speaker 04

  Peas in a purge. Now.

• 17:57Speaker 04

  But in terms of like purging nowadays is, you know, these, these days, it's fucking wankers having, having shoveled at their arse and, you know.

• 18:05Speaker 03

  Hold up, what? What do you mean? Oh, you mean like a full?

• 18:09Speaker 04

  Fucking flavour, flavour, really?

• 18:11Speaker 03

  Right. Hold up. Run that shit back. Oh, you mean like a full body purge?

• 18:16Speaker 04

  It's Alaska, it's throwing up, it's getting something shoved at your arse and flushing your guts out, you know, this is a purge.

• 18:21Speaker 03

  Phoebe says a purge is throwing up because of an eating disorder at these days.

• 18:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:25Speaker 03

  And there wasn't eating disorders back then.

• 18:26Speaker 04

  But that's her extremism once again affecting the script.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  State eating disorders, state mandated eating disorders.

• 18:31Speaker 04

  Women made famines, thank you, Phoebe.

• 18:34Speaker 04

  What is it, Charlie?

• 18:34Speaker 05

  Are you tempted by a juice purge?

• 18:37Speaker 04

  Say that again?

• 18:38Speaker 05

  Are you tempted by a juice purge?

• 18:39Speaker 04

  What, the one Hitler did?

• 18:45Speaker 04

  Lovely stuff.

• 18:46Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 18:46Speaker 04

  Lovely bit of business, what else do you want?

• 18:50Speaker 05

  Smoothies.

• 18:51Speaker 04

  Did you get what I said?

• 18:52Speaker 05

  Juice purge, yeah.

• 18:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, right, fine.

• 18:53Speaker 03

  Purge of the juice.

• 18:54Speaker 04

  He just kept, he said smoothies like nothing had happened. Anyway, so this purge bleeds into the great terror.

• 19:01Speaker 03

  Right.

• 19:01Speaker 04

  Okay. This is the holodomobir.

• 19:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, this is what I mean though, these are, these are names sort of, they blend into each other, it's sort of, the whole thing's the great, do you know? The awful famine blends into the evil purge that goes to the great terror. It doesn't really.

• 19:16Speaker 04

  Which then goes into World War Two.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  It doesn't really mean anything.

• 19:19Speaker 04

  So just, again, let's just, if you're Russian, okay, and you're born, let's say, 1910.

• 19:24Speaker 03

  Oh, I mean, insane life.

• 19:25Speaker 04

  Revolution, holodomor, holodomor.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:28Speaker 04

  Holodomybeer.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  If you're Ukrainian.

• 19:29Speaker 04

  Great, oh my god.

• 19:31Speaker 03

  Then you get, no, if you're 1910, World War One, revolution, all of that, the whole of communism, fucking Chernobyl, and then the fall of the communist. You'll die as communism's falling and all that shit happened there, kind of insane.

• 19:43Speaker 04

  Amazing, and if you make it to 9/11 as well, if you move to New York for 9/11, perfect life. Perfect life, full marks.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  And you die in 9/11.

• 19:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah. But you, you have to die in the, in the impact zone.

• 20:00Speaker 03

  What's this?

• 20:01Speaker 04

  The oldest recorded person in Romanian history. Ukrainian. Ukrainian.

• 20:07Speaker 03

  So she lived through it all.

• 20:09Speaker 04

  Wow. She's just died.

• 20:10Speaker 03

  In the Chernobyl mini-series, there was that old babushka who wouldn't, she's milking a cow.

• 20:15Speaker 04

  Oh, sorry.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  In that, you're that fucking old babushka. You know what I mean, fuck it all. I'm like, mate, we're podcasting here.

• 20:25Speaker 03

  You can bring my bushka, anytime.

• 20:26Speaker 04

  Can you fucking keep, keep your ablutions to yourself?

• 20:29Speaker 03

  We must say Ethel Gaitram has not lived as a, she's been, had a privileged life compared to the Ukrainians.

• 20:34Speaker 04

  Well, when was she born? She's just turned 117.

• 20:37Speaker 03

  She's done World War Two, I guess, the Blitz and stuff.

• 20:39Speaker 05

  1909.

• 20:39Speaker 04

  1909.

• 20:40Speaker 05

  And Shipton Bellinger.

• 20:42Speaker 04

  Born Shipton Bellinger?

• 20:43Speaker 05

  She's born in, she wasn't called Shipton Bellinger.

• 20:45Speaker 04

  Oh, right, I see.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  That's a good name, Shipton Bellinger.

• 20:47Speaker 04

  Shipton Bellinger.

• 20:47Speaker 03

  That's a sturdy woman.

• 20:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:50Speaker 04

  1909, so she's, you know, the Titanic happened, World War One.

• 20:54Speaker 05

  Iron brew.

• 20:55Speaker 04

  Iron brew was invented, yeah, she saw it all, anyway.

• 20:58Speaker 03

  So this current Ukrainian people, oldest Ukrainian that Phoebe just got up, who was born in 1917.

• 21:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  And now she's still alive, so she's, and they're living through now, if they live it, make it to now.

• 21:09Speaker 04

  They must be like, guys, I've seen this before, I know, can you change the fucking record?

• 21:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:15Speaker 04

  Yeah? Wow, that is awesome.

• 21:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, let's just try, let's try being happy for once. Can we try that one or does that have to be miserable each time?

• 21:22Speaker 04

  And then they die.

• 21:22Speaker 03

  I wonder what's next.

• 21:24Speaker 04

  It's like the Blue Zone thing.

• 21:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 21:25Speaker 04

  In Ukraine.

• 21:26Speaker 03

  From the great terror to the super awfuls, the really bad.

• 21:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, to the, oh my god, the terror again.

• 21:33Speaker 04

  This bleeds into the Great Terror, as you said. And so this is a campaign of mass arrests, executions, deportations, enemies of the state. This is communism 101.

• 21:45Speaker 03

  Now, what's interesting about this period is he basically, the Great Terror, he runs it like the grain reinquisition, where it's all like targets to be hit.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  So he does the same with murdering people.

• 21:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  As he did for grain.

• 21:58Speaker 04

  There's a sentence where he says, or maybe it's not him. Someone says, find me the man and I will find the crime.

• 22:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:06Speaker 04

  Incredible.

• 22:06Speaker 03

  Cause he's got his attack dog, Beria, who I think we'll get to.

• 22:09Speaker 04

  On the Patreon, we'll be discussing Beria in full detail. But yeah, he's the head of the NKVD, which was the Cheka, which was the Okhrana.

• 22:15Speaker 03

  Beria is the mengerer of this story, really. He's sort of like, you know, the, he's gone on an alt direction, but sort of, you know, focused.

• 22:23Speaker 04

  That was his quote. Sorry, that was his quote. Show me the man and I'll find you the crime.

• 22:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  He's also one, yeah, numbers wise, maybe the biggest rapist of all time.

• 22:31Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 22:32Speaker 03

  Which is a big, saying something.

• 22:33Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 22:34Speaker 03

  You know, and we've got to give Russell round his flowers for trying to reach those numbers.

• 22:38Speaker 04

  There's a chance he did hit those. I mean, there's a chance he hit those numbers.

• 22:41Speaker 03

  Not Cheka of the year. No chance.

• 22:42Speaker 04

  No, no. Beria's rapist of the year. They're very different.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 22:46Speaker 04

  So Stalin issues massive numbers. He says there were these huge quotas. Now, he, this, I enjoy, I enjoyed this a lot. He would sit there, the kind of, the montage of this.

• 22:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's great, amazing.

• 22:59Speaker 04

  It's just him and his desk, just basically ticking. People just giving him names and he's just ticking.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  And you see, he wrote little things.

• 23:05Speaker 04

  So he would write, he'd get these names in front of them.

• 23:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 23:08Speaker 04

  And then he would write little like notes in the margins, including.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  He'd write, deserves it.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  So he would, yeah, scum, prostitute, deserves it.

• 23:17Speaker 03

  I love deserves it.

• 23:18Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  Cause it's a bit gay as well. Deserves it.

• 23:20Speaker 04

  Snake.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  See, that's, that's what happens when.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Yeah. Deserves it.

• 23:25Speaker 04

  Come with the king, you best not miss. That kind of stuff.

• 23:28Speaker 03

  Is there, is there any more satisfying man sitting at desk than having a list of names you're killing and just going scum, prostitute? Also, you're ticking their debt. You've killed, you've killed them already. You've ticked their life off. I like that still adding insult to injury. You've already, you're already killing them in front of their family. Scum.

• 23:46Speaker 04

  That's how I go through job applications.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  Scum.

• 23:48Speaker 04

  Prostitutes. Deserves it. Deserves a job. Deserves a job.

• 23:50Speaker 03

  That's how you got Phoebe, actually.

• 23:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  Deserves it. Scum prostitute.

• 23:53Speaker 04

  Crossed out prostitute, crossed out, deserves it. No, give her the job. Give her the job.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  When we looked at the rest of the applications.

• 23:58Speaker 04

  I saw the name, went prostitute. I went, I'm sorry, deserves a job, actually. No, she, very good TV. Yeah, but also ticking someone to death.

• 24:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:06Speaker 04

  That's, that's.

• 24:07Speaker 03

  That's communist, right?

• 24:07Speaker 04

  That's power. Yeah, it is. Yep.

• 24:09Speaker 03

  Yep. Deserves it.

• 24:12Speaker 04

  He also enjoyed adding comments to photos of male nudes, which we discussed in the Russian Revolution series.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  I don't remember this.

• 24:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, there was, we'll maybe deal with it in the next part, but he goes through a period later on in his life of critiquing male nudes. Saying you need to work, not wank. Do you remember that?

• 24:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:28Speaker 04

  But that's later Stalin. I think we'll get to that later. Get to that next part. Anyway, so.

• 24:32Speaker 03

  That's when he's got no more like real enemies to fight.

• 24:35Speaker 04

  He's gone a bit mad by that.

• 24:36Speaker 03

  He's gone a bit mad because he doesn't know where to put his energy. So now he's putting it into male nudes.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  Exactly. I mean, what do you do after World War Two? Do you know what I mean?

• 24:42Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:43Speaker 04

  Anyway, so now you wanted to talk about this particular order.

• 24:48Speaker 03

  Well, I was looking at The Purge because I couldn't work out, when I think of the Great Terror, it's quite hard to conceptualize. Cause I know he got rid of his political opponents, but that's like, what, max 200, 300 people?

• 24:57Speaker 04

  I think it's 180.

• 24:58Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean? So 750,000 people died. So I was wondering where the vast majority of those executions were. Apparently almost half of them came from one order, which was the NKVD order number 00447, literally Star Wars shit.

• 25:11Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:12Speaker 03

  And I think it was, I mean, once again, quite similar to the Ukraine famine, where it was just former kulaks and not, it was just, you know, anyone. It's just fill, fill, kill, get 350,000 people and kill them.

• 25:24Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:25Speaker 03

  And just make up a reason why, basically. But that was all on one, one order.

• 25:28Speaker 04

  So half the people, so half the total of people did die in the Great Terror off from one order.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  One order.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  Signed on the 30th of July, 1937.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:35Speaker 04

  400,000 executions.

• 25:37Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:37Speaker 04

  Yeah. Awesome.

• 25:38Speaker 03

  How were they executed? Let's get some details, because a lot of this can sometimes be, it's hard, it gets a bit of a blur.

• 25:43Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 25:43Speaker 03

  We need some gory details to really focus in.

• 25:46Speaker 04

  I think it's a lot of it's firing squad, isn't it?

• 25:48Speaker 03

  Right.

• 25:48Speaker 04

  A lot, and a lot of it is gulag.

• 25:50Speaker 03

  But where, where, do you just do it wherever?

• 25:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, back of the head.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  From home sort of stuff.

• 25:54Speaker 04

  Back of the head.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  Where, where would they do it? Just, where would be a normal place they'd do it?

• 25:58Speaker 04

  There'd be like secret trials where they'd just go, how do you plead innocent? Well, we think you're guilty. Bang.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  Skabang.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  It's bang, basically. They're in basements.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  Mandated method with death by shooting typically. Yeah, it's just shot in the back of the head. Lot of bullets. Okay, there's like a shooting range near Moscow. Okay, secrecy and burial. Executions were carried out in strict secrecy, so it wouldn't be out in the street. Prisons, regional headquarters or secluded suburban fire ranges such as the Butovo shooting range. Can we go on there? Is that still there?

• 26:28Speaker 04

  There's a lot of bullets.

• 26:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:30Speaker 04

  But how have they got so many bullets? Because Stalin has got the economy moving.

• 26:35Speaker 03

  Right. He really has.

• 26:37Speaker 04

  So it's, you know.

• 26:38Speaker 03

  He's eating fibre.

• 26:39Speaker 04

  He's eating fibre and they're eating bullets, you know? Get the economy moving. You can do anything.

• 26:44Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:44Speaker 04

  Right. Can you shoot someone with a cabbage? Yes, you can. Obviously, you just put a cabbage in a cannon, Charlie. Cabbage ball.

• 26:52Speaker 03

  Hold up, and it can cause severe injury or even death, depending on the velocity.

• 26:56Speaker 04

  Well, it sounds like a joke, firing a dense, heavy vegetable like a cabbage out of a compressed air cannon transforms it into a dangerous projectile. Well, thank you, AI. Yes, we are, we may be joking, but there's serious, there's serious damage that can be done.

• 27:09Speaker 03

  This is why the Ukrainians have, Ukrainians have held out so long against the Russians.

• 27:12Speaker 04

  Well, it is. They're firing cabbages at drones. That's what I understand is the current conflict is.

• 27:17Speaker 03

  The cabbage derby.

• 27:18Speaker 04

  Impact. In tests conducted by shows like Mythbusters, cabbages fired from a pneumatic cannon carry enough force to shatter targets and punch through solid structures. If a two-bound cabbage strikes a human being at high speeds, it acts as a blunt force object. Well, there you go. Facial trauma if it hits the head. Imagine dying from a cabbage to the head. You couldn't, I'm gonna say you wouldn't live with yourself, but obviously, but my God.

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, he really ain't.

• 27:41Speaker 04

  I really hope I don't die that way.

• 27:43Speaker 03

  Give me the ick.

• 27:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:45Speaker 03

  Saying something.

• 27:46Speaker 04

  I mean, you just, at the funeral, you'd just be laughing.

• 27:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  You know?

• 27:50Speaker 03

  This is what we were laughing, Charlie recently went skydiving and we were worried, you, what were you thinking about when, about you, if you died? Obviously it'd be devastating and it'd be, you know, personally quite, be quite emotional, of course, but it would also.

• 28:07Speaker 05

  Is it perfect?

• 28:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, but also it's like, I don't know how long before we joke about it. I don't know if, like, it's obviously so shocking. I'd be, I'd be so upset.

• 28:16Speaker 04

  I don't trust myself.

• 28:16Speaker 03

  But if you jumped out of a plane and just splattered.

• 28:20Speaker 04

  Brazilian dignitas stuff, to be honest.

• 28:21Speaker 03

  It's like, like, what are you doing? What comes first, the laugh or the cry? I really don't know.

• 28:26Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't trust myself. Genuinely, do you know what? Before I started crying, I'd go, of course he did it. Of course he did it. Jumped out of a plane with no one attached to him.

• 28:36Speaker 03

  I'd go for fucks.

• 28:37Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah. Well, he died how he lived, didn't he?

• 28:40Speaker 03

  Yeah, throwing poo into the toilet, he threw himself out of a plane.

• 28:44Speaker 04

  The instructor, wait, oh, fuck. That's what, the skydiving instructor. You're not chained onto the, oh, fuck. I'm gonna lose my licence. Fucking idiot.

• 28:58Speaker 05

  Wait, Finn, I'll show you. Have you seen, have you seen this video?

• 29:01Speaker 03

  You've seen the video.

• 29:03Speaker 04

  No, I've seen the, the photos of you.

• 29:05Speaker 03

  Yeah, get to the.

• 29:07Speaker 04

  Mouth open like a fucking fish the whole time. Yeah. Have you noticed how he's strapped, have you, he's strapped to Beethoven's brother? Have you noticed that? Look at his smug face. The guy's skydiving, he's looking at the camera like, look at that.

• 29:22Speaker 03

  You would be a bit smug though, if you're doing it.

• 29:24Speaker 04

  Charlie's absolutely losing his mind. And Beethoven's brother's just like.

• 29:28Speaker 03

  You look like a turtle. You look like a tortoise.

• 29:30Speaker 04

  What are you thinking?

• 29:31Speaker 03

  You're like a tortoise. It's like a tortoise spotting a lettuce.

• 29:34Speaker 04

  What does it feel like, Charlie?

• 29:36Speaker 05

  It feels like you are about to die. It feels like you're plummeting to, I think your body thinks you're, you're about to die. Look at my fucking face here.

• 29:42Speaker 04

  Not looking at the ground. Yeah.

• 29:44Speaker 05

  Hating it. Yeah, to be honest, for the first. I'm screaming.

• 29:51Speaker 04

  Look at that, screaming. Where are you doing this?

• 29:55Speaker 05

  In the fens.

• 29:56Speaker 04

  In the fens?

• 29:56Speaker 05

  Flatest part of the UK. Dying in the, I don't want to die in the fens.

• 29:58Speaker 03

  Anyway.

• 29:59Speaker 04

  Fucking hell, I don't think, I don't think I'd do that.

• 30:02Speaker 03

  Good stuff.

• 30:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, right.

• 30:04Speaker 03

  Anyway.

• 30:05Speaker 04

  So, yeah, basically the pressure to meet all these targets, they're just random limits, they're called. Basically means that torture's encouraged, accusations, it's, I mean, it's a complete, complete bloodbath. People, when people are uncooperative, Stalin just says, squeeze them until they talk.

• 30:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:26Speaker 04

  I don't think that's literally squeeze. I think it's probably more brutal than that.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Yes. Well, it depends whether they're squeezing.

• 30:32Speaker 04

  Children are encouraged to think of themselves as Stalin's children first, and then their parents' children second.

• 30:37Speaker 03

  There's Mao as well. This is the communist thing. You destroy the relationship between the parent and the child.

• 30:41Speaker 04

  And get.

• 30:42Speaker 03

  It's all powerful for the state.

• 30:43Speaker 04

  Get the children to tell on their parents.

• 30:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 30:47Speaker 04

  So a lot of people are sent to the gulag, which is essentially, this, we dealt with this slightly in the last episode. It's like the, it's prison labour.

• 30:57Speaker 03

  A productive culture should come.

• 30:58Speaker 04

  Yes, exactly. Beria holds these, Stalin says to Beria at one point, who's going to remember all this riffraff in 10 or 20 years' time? No one.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  Well, they don't know that we, they had no idea that we'd be doing an episode about them.

• 31:10Speaker 04

  And, but they were right.

• 31:11Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 31:12Speaker 04

  I don't remember. I don't know any of their names though.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  Right, fair enough.

• 31:15Speaker 04

  Stalin, yeah. Beria, yeah.

• 31:17Speaker 03

  You know them. We're not doing a Patreon episode and maybe we've got squeezed.

• 31:21Speaker 04

  Exactly.

• 31:22Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:23Speaker 04

  Some people are forgotten because they're meant to be.

• 31:25Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:25Speaker 04

  My words. Thousands of names bear his initials and ticks.

• 31:31Speaker 03

  Deserves it.

• 31:32Speaker 04

  Deserved prostitute, scum.

• 31:35Speaker 04

  Scum.

• 31:35Speaker 03

  Scum.

• 31:37Speaker 04

  So crucially, he also sends a lot of the high ranking military to the Gulag. So 80% of the highest ranking generals and commanders are removed, executed.

• 31:49Speaker 03

  That's so many.

• 31:50Speaker 04

  Thirty-five thousand Red Army officers removed.

• 31:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:53Speaker 04

  So.

• 31:53Speaker 03

  This is all just before World War Two as well.

• 31:55Speaker 04

  Bear in mind, yeah, in the sort of late 30s, everyone is rearming. Germany, under Hitler, has an army of about three and a half million men, right? Britain has like a tiny army. The US have less than 200,000, right? Stalin has a huge army, but takes out all his own high command, right? A lot of them get sent to the Gulag rather than killed, which is important for later. But many of them do just get executed. Now, the Gulags were actually Lenin's idea.

• 32:24Speaker 03

  Lenin camp with Gulags.

• 32:24Speaker 04

  Give him his flowers. Those are Lenin's idea.

• 32:27Speaker 03

  It's not all bad.

• 32:27Speaker 04

  No, he was a good guy. You know, he could have fun when it mattered, right? But Stalin expands it and prisoners are expected to work to make the camp economically useful.

• 32:39Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 32:39Speaker 04

  Yet their output would depend how much food, would determine the food they get. Slave labor, industrial development, et cetera. I feel like we, I mean, the camp's become quite full after the terror.

• 32:53Speaker 04

  And prisoners refer to it as dry execution, death through hunger, cold and relentless physical labor.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  What's wet execution then?

• 32:59Speaker 04

  When your brains are splattered everywhere, maybe?

• 33:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, I guess so. Drowning. Yeah.

• 33:03Speaker 04

  It's like, yeah, dry food versus wet food for dogs.

• 33:06Speaker 03

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 33:07Speaker 04

  Kibble.

• 33:08Speaker 03

  Wet food's better for dogs, right? It's classier, but it's gross.

• 33:12Speaker 04

  It's expensive and it's gross and it makes the kitchen honk of tribe.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Are you doing wet food?

• 33:16Speaker 04

  We'd put a bit of wet food in with the kibble just to help her get the kibble.

• 33:20Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 33:20Speaker 04

  She won't go for kibble. I'm talking about the dog, right?

• 33:23Speaker 03

  She's fussy about the kibble.

• 33:25Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 33:26Speaker 03

  So she's more discerning than Charlie is?

• 33:29Speaker 04

  She, my dog, yeah, my dog, yeah, my dog actually does have more. Yeah, does have a higher discerning. What's sophisticated taste buds?

• 33:36Speaker 05

  Her loss.

• 33:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 03

  Getting competitive with the dog.

• 33:40Speaker 04

  I'd love, I'd love to see.

• 33:41Speaker 03

  Slagging the dog off.

• 33:42Speaker 04

  I'd love to see the two of you go out for a meal and there's two bowls on the floor and you're both just.

• 33:46Speaker 05

  You're gonna eat that?

• 33:47Speaker 04

  You're gonna, you're gonna finish that? You're gonna finish that kibble?

• 33:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, she quite often leaves a bit of kibble around the bowl because she's eating all the wet food.

• 33:55Speaker 05

  I don't know what a kibble is.

• 33:56Speaker 04

  You'd like it. It's like dry food. Sort of biscuits.

• 33:58Speaker 05

  I like biscuits.

• 33:59Speaker 04

  Meaty biscuits.

• 34:00Speaker 05

  Crackers.

• 34:00Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, if you like. You'll be on the floor, face down. This is, this is fucked. Who made this? Fuck me.

• 34:07Speaker 03

  Arse in the air.

• 34:08Speaker 04

  Arse in the air. Yeah. Facing the bowl.

• 34:13Speaker 04

  So they think 2.7 million people died in the Gulag. However, dying prisoners, I like this, they were released shortly before death so that they didn't die in the Gulag.

• 34:24Speaker 03

  Doesn't count.

• 34:25Speaker 04

  Go over there.

• 34:25Speaker 03

  But it doesn't count. It's not a Gulag death.

• 34:27Speaker 04

  No, it's not.

• 34:28Speaker 03

  It's not in the Gulag. Yeah, you fucking died of natural causes.

• 34:30Speaker 04

  You left and you died, which means you should have stayed. So don't leave. Yeah.

• 34:35Speaker 05

  Who's that for?

• 34:36Speaker 04

  Huh?

• 34:37Speaker 05

  Who's that?

• 34:38Speaker 03

  Who's that for?

• 34:38Speaker 04

  Stalin's enjoying that.

• 34:39Speaker 03

  What do you mean?

• 34:40Speaker 05

  Is that as a joke or is that for statistic? Is that for the papers?

• 34:43Speaker 03

  What?

• 34:44Speaker 04

  It's for papers.

• 34:45Speaker 05

  No, is it, is it, is it that so that we don't think that he killed as many people?

• 34:48Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 34:49Speaker 05

  But who's that for at the time? Who's, who's checking?

• 34:52Speaker 03

  What's the question?

• 34:53Speaker 05

  Why does he care?

• 34:55Speaker 03

  He'll get angry when he gets angry himself.

• 34:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 34:57Speaker 03

  Come on!

• 34:58Speaker 05

  Why does he?

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Smacking his head.

• 34:59Speaker 05

  Why does he care?

• 35:01Speaker 04

  It's about perception, isn't it? Reputation.

• 35:03Speaker 05

  By who?

• 35:04Speaker 04

  Well, the rest of the world.

• 35:05Speaker 05

  Is anyone there?

• 35:05Speaker 03

  His own people.

• 35:06Speaker 04

  Is anyone there?

• 35:07Speaker 05

  The Daily Mail's just at the gate. What's going, what do you mean?

• 35:10Speaker 04

  Well, there's, there's, there's other equivalents of the Daily Mail on there.

• 35:12Speaker 05

  The reporters are at the Gulag. Should be like, what the fuck is going on?

• 35:15Speaker 03

  Communism is all about numbers. It's all about targets. So fudging the numbers and targets is important for the way that you sell and propagandize the regime.

• 35:24Speaker 05

  Who's checking? Who cares?

• 35:29Speaker 03

  I think it's just general discrepancies that you just.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  You don't want a foreign journalist finding out?

• 35:36Speaker 04

  You know what, Charlie? It's quite hard to do a history podcast when you're just going, yeah, but who cares? Who fucking cares?

• 35:41Speaker 03

  Quite a lot of people.

• 35:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 35:42Speaker 05

  No, I care.

• 35:42Speaker 03

  A lot of people care. Well, you care then?

• 35:44Speaker 05

  I care about this question.

• 35:45Speaker 03

  Well, then it's to stop you finding out then.

• 35:46Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 35:47Speaker 05

  Well, I know now.

• 35:48Speaker 04

  It's all for you. Everything you did.

• 35:49Speaker 03

  Well, it didn't work. It didn't work.

• 35:50Speaker 04

  Everything, everything, everything was for you.

• 35:54Speaker 04

  Now, Stalin has a huge cult of personality, right? He presents himself as Lenin's successor and then gradually Photoshop Lenin out of the picture.

• 36:05Speaker 04

  So there were lots of photographs showing Lenin and Stalin having a good time together.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 36:09Speaker 04

  Which is a kind of doctored. It's early Photoshop stuff.

• 36:11Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:11Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Early AI stuff.

• 36:13Speaker 04

  Yeah. From 1935, nurseries display the slogan, "Thank you, dear comrade Stalin, for a happy childhood." And that's like when we had, "Thank you, dear comrade Starmer, for a happy just," we had the same thing in London. It's recently just gone. So they have, during a speech, he has an 11-minute standing ovation because people are terrified to be the first person to stop clapping.

• 36:33Speaker 03

  It's like Cannes.

• 36:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, it is like Cannes.

• 36:36Speaker 03

  It's like a crap film at Cannes.

• 36:37Speaker 04

  Yeah. Any film at Cannes. Bollocks. Everyone's clapping.

• 36:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 36:40Speaker 04

  Yeah. So let's get to my favorite bit of the story. Stalin tying up the loose end of that wanker in Mexico.

• 36:49Speaker 03

  The ultimate loose end.

• 36:50Speaker 04

  The ultimate Leon Trotsky, right?

• 36:52Speaker 06

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• 38:17Speaker 00

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• 38:44Speaker 01

  Where some see heroes and others see egos. Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com.

• 39:00Speaker 04

  Now, Trotsky is writing pamphlets. He's condemning the purges.

• 39:05Speaker 03

  What I like about this as well is that he's writing loads of stuff condemning it. He's sending it to like British publication stuff. None of it's allowed in the Soviet Union, but Stalin's reading all of it.

• 39:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:13Speaker 03

  And it's hurting his feelings. He's getting pissed off.

• 39:17Speaker 04

  No man, no problem. Let's hunt Trotsky down.

• 39:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:21Speaker 04

  So he's obsessed, he becomes obsessed with Trotsky's writings, even though you're right, he's the only person reading it.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:27Speaker 04

  So.

• 39:27Speaker 03

  He's like, you what? You fucking?

• 39:29Speaker 04

  Come over here and say that. Come over fucking here and say that. So now, there was, there was a, Trotsky basically is also quite paranoid, but with good reason.

• 39:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 39:39Speaker 04

  So he builds himself.

• 39:40Speaker 03

  You're being paranoid.

• 39:41Speaker 04

  He builds himself essentially Bin Laden's Abbottabad compound in Mexico, right? He's living with.

• 39:48Speaker 03

  A burrito bad?

• 39:49Speaker 04

  Oh, hey?

• 39:49Speaker 03

  An Arita?

• 39:50Speaker 04

  A burrito bad. Bad burrito. He's on the toilet, right? Trotsky had a bad burrito and stuck on the toilet. So the NKVD are trying to penetrate Trotsky's inner circle.

• 40:02Speaker 03

  Right.

• 40:02Speaker 04

  So Trotsky knows Stalin's out for him. So he would always hide behind the seats in cars and stuff in Mexico. He settles in the Coiakan neighborhood of Mexico City, little suburb outside. Now, he's not with Frida Kahlo, but he's hobnobbing about with her.

• 40:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 40:15Speaker 04

  Frida Kahlo, our male listeners won't know, but she's that annoying woman with a monobrow who's on all this kitsch stuff your girlfriend likes.

• 40:20Speaker 03

  It feels like they're part of a polycule almost. It's just an artistic sort of, everyone can rummage around in each other if they so please.

• 40:27Speaker 04

  What did Frida Kahlo do apart from having a monobrow? Because I'm still bewildered.

• 40:30Speaker 03

  She did self-portraits about female health and what it means for a woman's body to change, I believe, or something like that. There's a lot of stuff about periods.

• 40:43Speaker 04

  Was there actually?

• 40:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think she used to do self-portraits in ways that hadn't been done before.

• 40:48Speaker 05

  Was that actually?

• 40:49Speaker 03

  And she was incredibly ill. She had polio and survived a bus crash.

• 40:53Speaker 04

  Because that's what I say as a joke. That's actually what she did.

• 40:55Speaker 03

  Body deteriorated and she like did portraits of her own showing a woman's body injured.

• 41:00Speaker 04

  That's just funny that I was like, oh, I don't know, some fucking woman with a monobrow just draws her periods. And that's actually what. I was spot on.

• 41:06Speaker 03

  Spot on.

• 41:07Speaker 04

  Once again, never miss.

• 41:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  Taylor's laser-guided focus bangs again.

• 41:13Speaker 04

  Well, there you go. Fine. Anyway. Her and Trotsky are banging on about fucking, I don't know.

• 41:18Speaker 03

  Are they banging each other? I mean, they're chatting a lot more than they're fucking, I think, but I think they fucked a little bit.

• 41:23Speaker 05

  They did fuck.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  Did they?

• 41:24Speaker 03

  How you just can just tell?

• 41:26Speaker 04

  Fucking hell.

• 41:27Speaker 03

  Charlie finally having, and he hasn't said anything.

• 41:29Speaker 04

  Is there a more punchable wedding? Is it going on a double date with Trotsky and Frida Kahlo? This is my reaction. Fuck.

• 41:37Speaker 03

  That's what the double punch is made for.

• 41:41Speaker 04

  Left, right, fucking hell. Tapas with Trotsky and Carlo, kill me.

• 41:48Speaker 04

  But then again, every double date I'll go on is like that.

• 41:50Speaker 05

  Do you still go on them?

• 41:51Speaker 04

  Hey?

• 41:51Speaker 05

  Do you still go on double dates?

• 41:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:52Speaker 03

  I mean, you have to, if you're in a couple.

• 41:53Speaker 04

  Well, if you're a couple.

• 41:54Speaker 05

  But you're husband and wife.

• 41:55Speaker 04

  Hey?

• 41:55Speaker 05

  Husband and wife, going on a double date?

• 41:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah.

• 41:59Speaker 03

  It's not like, they're not swingers.

• 42:01Speaker 04

  No, I'm not swinging.

• 42:02Speaker 03

  You're not double dating as in like you're-

• 42:03Speaker 04

  We've got a couple of friends.

• 42:04Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:04Speaker 04

  It's called a double date.

• 42:05Speaker 05

  What'd you guys do?

• 42:06Speaker 04

  Just go out for dinner.

• 42:07Speaker 05

  Krispy Kreme.

• 42:08Speaker 04

  Don't go to Krispy Kreme.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  You need people who have similar lives to you. You can't, if you're a couple, you can't just keep going out with single people. Because, you know, you're living a different life. Cause you're fucking flicking your shit at the walls, you're, you know.

• 42:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  You're, you're, you're working a gulag in South London.

• 42:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're, you're going to fucking, um, you know, ambient music listening parties underneath railway stations.

• 42:26Speaker 03

  Couples can't do that.

• 42:26Speaker 04

  Where everyone's got no eyebrows. I can't do that. I've got a mortgage and two kids.

• 42:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 42:30Speaker 05

  We can find a middle ground.

• 42:32Speaker 04

  Well, yeah, it would be our grant, it would be having dinner like us, like a normal person.

• 42:35Speaker 03

  Charlie's quite hurt by that.

• 42:36Speaker 04

  Digging a fucking trench in Patagonia.

• 42:40Speaker 04

  Right, anyway, so Trotsky and Carlo, right, insufferable squared, they're wanging about Mexico. And now there's an initial assassination attempt where 20 armed men enter, um, Buritabad, this compound.

• 42:55Speaker 04

  Disguised as Mexican soldiers, big moustaches, sombreros, "Hey, cabron!"

• 42:59Speaker 03

  Oh, they've got nacho hats.

• 43:00Speaker 04

  "I heard there was a good burrito in here."

• 43:02Speaker 03

  They're doing the nacho, they're dipping.

• 43:04Speaker 04

  God, Jesus.

• 43:07Speaker 04

  And Trotsky's like, well, they're Mexicans, let them in.

• 43:09Speaker 03

  Of course, I mean, that's authentic, right?

• 43:11Speaker 04

  That's authentic Mexicans, you know, you're like, explore the culture.

• 43:13Speaker 03

  They've got Doritos and a fucking sombrero.

• 43:16Speaker 04

  They then gun him, they gun, they fired 200 bullets at the house.

• 43:19Speaker 03

  Right.

• 43:19Speaker 04

  But Trotsky and his wife, uh, hide underneath their bed.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  They're in the bed.

• 43:22Speaker 04

  I don't understand how they escape. I think one of his grandkids dies or gets hit. Anyway, they both survive. Stalin, livid.

• 43:29Speaker 03

  Livid.

• 43:30Speaker 04

  Absolutely livid. So they then go to a guy called Ramon Mert- Mertada, who's a Spanish communist, who gets recruited by Soviet intelligence. And he's a Stalinist who is unknown to Trotsky crucially. So he starts to, um, hang out with, is it Trotsky's misses? Or he starts to become friends with his misses.

• 43:50Speaker 03

  Soft underbelly.

• 43:51Speaker 04

  The soft underbelly. Uh, interestingly, I said that about, uh, Amanda the other day.

• 43:56Speaker 03

  When she was your soft underbelly.

• 43:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, I didn't go there. She didn't get the reference. So she did not go down well at all. And I was like, no, no, like Churchill in Italy in 40s, fuck!

• 44:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, I fucked it. I've got to, I've got to realise, I can't talk like I do here at home.

• 44:11Speaker 03

  That's what works, that's what works for.

• 44:12Speaker 04

  I know, Amanda's the soft underbelly. What? Oh, fuck, no, you do the reading.

• 44:19Speaker 04

  Anyway, um, so, uh, yeah, Sylvia Agalov, who's a Trotskyist, uh, so Mercedes, Macada resuscitates her. Anyway, uh, so he, uh, he chats to the guards, hands out cigarettes, doesn't immediately want to see Trotsky. And then eventually becomes part of the furniture. This is after like weeks, is it? Then, um, he takes Trotsky's wife shopping, uh, takes his grandson out of the compound, drops his grandkids off at the pool.

• 44:47Speaker 04

  And then.

• 44:47Speaker 03

  Too much information.

• 44:48Speaker 04

  And then.

• 44:49Speaker 03

  I don't need to hear all this personal stuff.

• 44:51Speaker 04

  Then, one day, what day is it? It's in 1940, I think. 20th of August, 1940. He arrives at Trotsky's house, wearing a suspiciously warm coat for the summer.

• 44:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, and also there's a lack of nachos in his sombrero.

• 45:02Speaker 04

  Something's not right here. Is this guy really Mexican?

• 45:07Speaker 03

  Where are the cool original Doritos in your?

• 45:11Speaker 04

  Yeah. Why is, why is he not followed by a mariachi band signalling that a Mexican character has just arrived on the scene? You know, it's like in Shah when a Spanish fool comes on and there's "dingling." Well, I know you're Spanish now because there's a Spanish guitar, but you don't have any nachos or, or cheese in your-

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Something's just not adding up here.

• 45:31Speaker 04

  Again, it's a red flag that Trotsky misses.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 45:33Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 45:34Speaker 03

  Because it's blended with all the other red flags in his room, he's a communist.

• 45:36Speaker 04

  She's a fucking communist, right?

• 45:39Speaker 04

  So he goes and says, I've written, I've written something I'd like Trotsky to look at. So he goes into his study and then they're left alone. And then Trotsky starts wanging on about some bollocks at his desk. And then, uh, Macada, I don't know how you say his name, is it Mercedes or Macada? Anyway, Macada basically reveals an ice axe, not a pick.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 46:01Speaker 04

  It's an ice axe, before anyone hummachus me.

• 46:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:04Speaker 04

  And, uh, he smashes it into the back of Trotsky's head.

• 46:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:07Speaker 04

  Which must have felt so satisfying. And this is kind of, it's, you know, it's Anne Widdicombe stuff.

• 46:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:13Speaker 04

  I mean, it is the long road to-

• 46:14Speaker 03

  He gets widicombed.

• 46:15Speaker 04

  He gets widicombed, or rather, Widdicombe gets Trotsky's.

• 46:20Speaker 03

  Which is funny because they're both very different politicians.

• 46:22Speaker 04

  Well, exactly. It's the horseshoe theory. It doesn't matter if you're left or right, some guy can hit you in the head for that.

• 46:29Speaker 03

  At the end of the, yeah.

• 46:30Speaker 04

  At the end of it.

• 46:30Speaker 03

  If you're an annoying politician.

• 46:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, if you're, if you're annoying, you're gonna get hit in the head.

• 46:35Speaker 04

  It's actually got nothing to do with policy, you know? It's actually quite, it's sort of centrist stuff, really.

• 46:41Speaker 04

  At the end of the day, if you've got an annoying voice, it's pretty much like this. Doesn't matter if you're on the right or the left. Oh, fuck off, shut up, fuck off, shut up.

• 46:53Speaker 03

  Shut up.

• 46:53Speaker 04

  Shut, shut up, fuck off, idiot, prick. But, right, unlike, uh, Widdicombe, Trotsky only gets one blow to the head.

• 47:03Speaker 03

  As opposed to 21.

• 47:04Speaker 04

  As opposed to 21.

• 47:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:05Speaker 04

  Um, which is perhaps, uh, over egging it.

• 47:08Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 47:09Speaker 04

  Um, anyway, uh-

• 47:11Speaker 03

  You've got to be sure though, you've got to be thorough.

• 47:12Speaker 04

  You have to be sure.

• 47:13Speaker 03

  Yeah, he, he had driven for a long journey.

• 47:15Speaker 04

  You've got to make the drive worth it.

• 47:16Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:17Speaker 04

  Um, so I think, did it get lodged, I think it gets lodged in his head?

• 47:21Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:21Speaker 04

  And then Trotsky, I mean, Macada later claims he'd never forget Trotsky's scream.

• 47:29Speaker 04

  That's it, is it?

• 47:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 47:30Speaker 04

  Horny.

• 47:32Speaker 04

  Well, it depends what-

• 47:34Speaker 03

  Fuck.

• 47:37Speaker 04

  Bored.

• 47:40Speaker 03

  Is that bored? Is that you and your board?

• 47:42Speaker 04

  The one you just, the one you just said, was like a bored porn star on the fifth take of the day. Ah, fuck.

• 47:48Speaker 03

  Ah, fuck. Uh, Charlie, give me, you're a bored porn star. Give me a bored orgasm.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  Oh, fucking gonna come. Oh, my fucking god.

• 48:00Speaker 04

  Right, so it's soundscape, "Hey, cabron, eh, eh, eh, eh."

• 48:08Speaker 04

  "I will never forget that scream." "He was kind of bored and porny."

• 48:14Speaker 04

  "And I forgot my nacho hat."

• 48:20Speaker 03

  Great Doritos advert though.

• 48:21Speaker 04

  Brilliant Doritos advert. Cool original. Probably more shitty heatwave actually, I reckon. No, Widdicombe's shitty heatwave. It's got nothing, nothing to do with Mexican watched Doritos. Just play the ad, what's that Doritos advert? That's fucking weird.

• 48:37Speaker 04

  It's just CCCV footage of Anne Widdicombe getting her head bashed in and then just says, "Doritos, chili heatwave."

• 48:42Speaker 03

  This is quite an edgy podcast, but for an ad, that is spicy.

• 48:47Speaker 03

  Even for me, I'm like, woof.

• 48:48Speaker 04

  I wouldn't sign that off. I'd be like, how, what?

• 48:51Speaker 03

  All up for a laugh, but that is-

• 48:53Speaker 04

  I'd be like, how has it got to my desk?

• 48:55Speaker 03

  That feels insensitive.

• 48:56Speaker 04

  How has it got to my desk? It feels like middle management really should have put us up to this. Sorry, you're criticizing-

• 49:01Speaker 03

  I think of the episode of Mad Men, Don Draper.

• 49:03Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:05Speaker 04

  What, shitty heatwave Doritos? What, you're just saying play with-

• 49:08Speaker 03

  We hammer her head in 21 times.

• 49:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, that just says shitty heatwave. What?

• 49:13Speaker 05

  There could be a comb advert where it's like somebody, he's, he's bashing her in the head with a comb. And then, uh, it's like, she's, she's on the floor, um, but she's got a comb in her head and it's Anne with the comb.

• 49:28Speaker 04

  Oh, I was all for that.

• 49:29Speaker 03

  All for that. I didn't know, I knew it was gonna be crap, but I don't know which flavour of crap it was gonna be.

• 49:33Speaker 04

  Fucking hell, it was all for that.

• 49:34Speaker 03

  It's nearly always the rhyme.

• 49:35Speaker 04

  It's all for that.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  Rubbish. Absolutely rubbish.

• 49:39Speaker 04

  Well, unlike Anne Widdicombe, Trotsky fights back. He remains conscious long enough.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  He Rasputin's it.

• 49:45Speaker 04

  He does.

• 49:47Speaker 03

  Rasputin with a small knob.

• 49:53Speaker 04

  And then Macada's like, "Ah, cabron, eh." And Trotsky says, "Don't kill ya, this man has a story to tell."

• 50:02Speaker 03

  Wait, so he's chatting?

• 50:03Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's chatting.

• 50:04Speaker 03

  He still won't shut up.

• 50:05Speaker 04

  He still won't fucking shut up. Right, at least Widdicombe zipped it.

• 50:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:09Speaker 04

  Macada cries out, "They have my mother."

• 50:11Speaker 03

  Right.

• 50:13Speaker 04

  Anyway, Trotsky gets taken to hospital and he dies the following day. Now, uh, Macada is sentenced to 20 years in a Mexican prison.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  Right.

• 50:20Speaker 04

  But he never acknowledges that he acted on Stalin's behalf. And then when he's, um, when he is freed, he begets the like hero of the Soviet Union medal?

• 50:29Speaker 03

  Yes, and also while he's in prison, Stalin makes sure that he's getting sucked off all the time and stuff like that.

• 50:34Speaker 04

  Oh, that's nice.

• 50:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's just a nice thing. He gets more comfortable chairs, he gets better food, he has-

• 50:38Speaker 04

  More flavours of Doritos.

• 50:39Speaker 03

  More flavours of Doritos. And then he's getting lots of women sent, Mexican women there to suck him off.

• 50:44Speaker 04

  Oh, that's nice.

• 50:45Speaker 03

  That's, it's a touch of class from Stalin.

• 50:46Speaker 04

  A Mexican girlfriend who would visit.

• 50:47Speaker 03

  You're gonna have to serve the time, so if you don't know.

• 50:49Speaker 04

  Rogelia. Now, Roger as a female name is, oh, I don't know about that. It's a bit rich in my blood.

• 50:54Speaker 03

  To be honest, we couldn't find any women who would suck you off before we had to do it.

• 50:57Speaker 04

  I called Roger and put an A on the end. Rogelia.

• 51:00Speaker 03

  Yeah, he's wearing a wig, look at the ceiling, pretend it's a woman.

• 51:03Speaker 04

  It's prison, it's the best you can get, but you know.

• 51:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:06Speaker 03

  Just eat some of the nachos out the top of his sombrero hat as he's sucking you off.

• 51:11Speaker 04

  Is that what that hat's for?

• 51:12Speaker 03

  One of those things.

• 51:14Speaker 04

  Christ, they've really nailed it, Mexican blow, Mexican blowjobs.

• 51:17Speaker 03

  Look at that. I mean, sensory, think about that 4D experience.

• 51:21Speaker 04

  Like Subway server video on top of a podcast clip. You get sucked off when you're dipping nachos. Right, can you keep still, please? I'm trying, I'm, you've got like a tray of dips, you've got like a yogurt one and a spicy one. Can you keep still? You're spilling the salsa.

• 51:35Speaker 03

  That's hedonistic. That is hedonistic.

• 51:36Speaker 04

  No, that is too much.

• 51:38Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 51:38Speaker 04

  That's not very Stalinist.

• 51:39Speaker 03

  No, it's not.

• 51:40Speaker 04

  Not very Stalinist.

• 51:41Speaker 03

  Come on, put yourself together.

• 51:43Speaker 04

  Christ, there's still so much history to do. Uh, now, just before Trotsky meets his end, uh, there is probably the most significant event of the 30s.

• 51:54Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 51:55Speaker 04

  Definitely. Uh, the Nazi-Soviet Pact. Now, by 1939, friend of the pod Adolf Hitler had spent years denouncing Bolshevism.

• 52:04Speaker 03

  This is like the Thunberg Netanyahu Pact, isn't it?

• 52:07Speaker 04

  Yes, it is. It is, exactly.

• 52:08Speaker 03

  It's the kind of, it's the opposites, right?

• 52:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, because everyone's head's just like, what the fuck?

• 52:14Speaker 04

  I, I thought, phew, Greta Bibi Pact? What on earth? But you're opposites.

• 52:21Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's opposite day.

• 52:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, but what are they carving up? Is, is Greta just gonna have a bit of Palestine?

• 52:26Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 52:27Speaker 04

  Is that what the pact is? Because Nazi-Soviet Pact is they're gonna basically carve up Poland.

• 52:30Speaker 03

  Yeah, maybe, uh, they get, Netanyahu gets a bit of her, her, her flotilla navy.

• 52:35Speaker 04

  Netanyahu's like, uh, if you let me have Palestine, I'll solve climate change for you.

• 52:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 52:39Speaker 04

  She's like, all right.

• 52:40Speaker 03

  Jews do control the weather.

• 52:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, I mean.

• 52:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, fine. Okay. Yeah.

• 52:49Speaker 03

  It does, it does, it does read.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  I feel like.

• 52:51Speaker 03

  Because Netanyahu is just like, right, there we go, global warming.

• 52:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, done.

• 52:59Speaker 03

  Now stop being annoying.

• 53:00Speaker 04

  Yeah, now zip it and let me get on with it. Let me get on with it.

• 53:05Speaker 04

  I feel like, you know, I just watched Burnham's, you know.

• 53:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:09Speaker 04

  David Copper speech. Everyone's saying it's brilliant.

• 53:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:12Speaker 04

  I feel like he's missed a trick in not.

• 53:14Speaker 03

  What?

• 53:15Speaker 04

  We could solve climate change and the Middle East with one solution.

• 53:21Speaker 03

  So what, is he going to be the one brokering the deal? Is that what you, you think that would be a good move for Burnham?

• 53:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, it'd be the Burnham, um.

• 53:28Speaker 03

  Thunberg Netanyahu deal.

• 53:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, no, what's, rather than, it's the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact.

• 53:32Speaker 03

  So it'd be Ben-Gvir.

• 53:33Speaker 04

  That's what I mean, Burnham-Ben-Gvir Pact.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:35Speaker 04

  Yeah. You can have Gaza, but the Jews have to stop climate change, which is in their power because they control.

• 53:40Speaker 03

  And I know they can, so you can stop pretending.

• 53:42Speaker 04

  So actually just do it, would you? Actually do it.

• 53:44Speaker 03

  Yeah. And thanks for making it rain on my birthday again.

• 53:47Speaker 04

  Yeah. Can you actually use your powers for once, please?

• 53:49Speaker 03

  It was a barbecue in July. Why did it have to rain then? I'm sorry.

• 53:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  That we stopped fucking settler colonialism in the.

• 53:55Speaker 04

  Fucking hell of a birthday. Everyone, I'm hungry. Yeah.

• 54:01Speaker 04

  Anyway, yeah. So the, sorry, so the precursor to the, the Ribbentrop-Molotov Pact is the Burnham-Ben-Gvir Pact, which is, it's a great idea, I think. I back, I back that.

• 54:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:13Speaker 04

  I feel like we should also.

• 54:15Speaker 03

  It'd actually be Miliband-Ben-Gvir, wouldn't it? It'd be the Miliband-Gvir.

• 54:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, it would be Miliband-Ben-Gvir Pact. Because Miliband was Energy Secretary.

• 54:23Speaker 03

  But yeah, but now he's Foreign Secretary, so.

• 54:24Speaker 04

  So I mean, so he'd be like, fuck, you've got me.

• 54:26Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:27Speaker 04

  I have to say yes to this. Both issues solved.

• 54:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 54:30Speaker 04

  Anyway, um, so.

• 54:33Speaker 03

  Did you see fucking Ben-Gvir is now siding with Argentina's claim for the Falklands?

• 54:37Speaker 04

  Fuck me.

• 54:39Speaker 03

  Did you see it? He did a tweet saying, the state of Israel should recognise Argentina's rightful claim because Ed Miliband said that what was going on in the West Bank was.

• 54:49Speaker 04

  Jesus Christ. But that's, that's like, what the fuck? Because.

• 54:52Speaker 03

  But part of me, I don't know if you agree, part of me wants them to try again.

• 54:56Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 54:56Speaker 03

  Do you know what I mean?

• 54:57Speaker 04

  I'd love them to try again. Get Israel involved and we'll show them a thing or two.

• 55:00Speaker 03

  The same reason I don't want Tottenham relegated from the Premier League. I enjoy pumping up the Emirates every year. It's great for mental health. Normally happens about springtime. It just gives me a little pep in my step.

• 55:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 55:12Speaker 03

  I want them to try again.

• 55:14Speaker 04

  Every 10 years, I want the Falklands to be a live issue.

• 55:15Speaker 03

  Let's just do it. Let's just run that shit back.

• 55:18Speaker 04

  Come on.

• 55:18Speaker 03

  The boys need to run out.

• 55:19Speaker 04

  Prince Harry's back in the country.

• 55:21Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 55:22Speaker 04

  Come on.

• 55:22Speaker 03

  Let's do it. We can do another flying pedo. I mean, Andrew can, a redemption story.

• 55:27Speaker 04

  Oh my God. Can you imagine the narrative?

• 55:29Speaker 03

  Kamikaze's.

• 55:31Speaker 04

  It supports Stanley.

• 55:35Speaker 04

  Andrew, 9/11's, the Malvinas. And everyone's like, do you know what?

• 55:39Speaker 03

  Yeah. The Grano take two.

• 55:41Speaker 04

  He was a, he was a war hero. He was.

• 55:43Speaker 03

  He was.

• 55:44Speaker 04

  He was.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  That's an honourable way out for Andrew.

• 55:47Speaker 04

  Fully. Absolutely. I think it's the, I think it's the only out now.

• 55:51Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 55:52Speaker 04

  He goes, let, let me back into the fold and I will 9/11 Port Stanley.

• 55:56Speaker 03

  Give me a state funeral. That's all I ask.

• 55:57Speaker 04

  And then he does it and be like, oh no, they haven't invaded. Oh no. You've just crashed a plane into British territory. Oh, you're going to have to wait.

• 56:05Speaker 03

  Yeah. And it was like, there was a young child in there. This is exactly what we didn't want to happen.

• 56:10Speaker 04

  You've flown the Lita into Port Stanley. You've flown the Epstein Express into Port Stanley. That's, the optics are awful.

• 56:19Speaker 04

  Fuck, but the thing is.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  Have you read this?

• 56:20Speaker 04

  No, but Israel, Israel aligning with Argentina.

• 56:23Speaker 03

  I know. This is, this is the craziest shit. I was chatting to me doing this. What is going on there? What about the whole Iceman thing?

• 56:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:31Speaker 03

  It's insane.

• 56:32Speaker 04

  Argentina just dropping out, are they?

• 56:33Speaker 03

  Yeah. You know, fucking Nicholas Winton from Britain. They don't give a fuck about us anymore. They're going to support the fucking, the country that housed Mengele.

• 56:43Speaker 04

  Well, look at that.

• 56:44Speaker 03

  So they're going on the side of the country that housed Mengele as opposed to the country of Nicholas Winton. Come on.

• 56:48Speaker 04

  Come on.

• 56:49Speaker 03

  But once again.

• 56:50Speaker 04

  But do you remember?

• 56:51Speaker 03

  To be honest, I don't want to try Israel though. If Israel are helping Argentina, then that's not, I don't mind playing Argentina, but I would be a bit scared fighting Israel.

• 56:59Speaker 04

  No, come on. They're a long way from home.

• 57:01Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:02Speaker 04

  That's our southern border. We could take them.

• 57:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 57:06Speaker 04

  They won't have a navy.

• 57:07Speaker 03

  Israel?

• 57:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, they won't have a fucking.

• 57:09Speaker 03

  Well, they, they get great, great Thunberg.

• 57:11Speaker 04

  We've got two ships.

• 57:12Speaker 03

  What about Thunberg's rape?

• 57:15Speaker 04

  Okay, well, yeah. Okay, they've got one rape platoon, but we have two ships now. Okay?

• 57:20Speaker 03

  We do have two.

• 57:21Speaker 04

  We do have two ships.

• 57:22Speaker 03

  So there's a new one being built?

• 57:23Speaker 04

  I think that's a long way off.

• 57:24Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 57:25Speaker 04

  But we've got two ships. The navy sounds two ships, does it? I think it's two ships currently.

• 57:29Speaker 03

  I was at a friend's 30th, seeing a military wife whose husband is a submarine captain, but he doesn't have a submarine because we don't have them.

• 57:37Speaker 04

  A captain without a submarine. Devastating, devastating. 60. We have 60 active ships.

• 57:41Speaker 05

  That doesn't sound like enough.

• 57:42Speaker 04

  It's not enough.

• 57:43Speaker 03

  Oh, and one historic vessel, HMS Victory. I don't know if you can.

• 57:46Speaker 04

  Get the victory out. Get the victory back out. If we retake the Falklands with the victory.

• 57:50Speaker 03

  Come on.

• 57:50Speaker 04

  Fucking hell. There's no way it would get out of Portsmouth. It would sink before it even left Portsmouth. Um, right.

• 57:56Speaker 03

  We digress.

• 57:56Speaker 04

  What are we, what are we going to do?

• 57:58Speaker 03

  We're fighting Israel in the Falklands, I think.

• 58:00Speaker 04

  We're now, we're now sort of enjoying the fantasy of fighting Israel in the Falklands, when we haven't really talked about the Nazi-Soviet Pact. I think we'll have to leave, we'll have to leave that to the next episode now, I think. Um, so, uh, I don't know how long this series is going to be now, but, uh, it's all on the Patreon, the rest of it. And we will, in our next episode, we will get to the Tatemic Nazi-Soviet Pact, the Finnish war, Barbarossa.

• 58:23Speaker 03

  Some of the best photo ops.

• 58:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, 100%.

• 58:26Speaker 03

  Of all time, maybe?

• 58:27Speaker 04

  Yeah. Uh, and we will get to Stalin's Tatemic role in World War II. That's all for the next episode. Thank you for joining us, patrons. Apologies, we enjoyed Trotsky's assassination too much, as I knew I would.

• 58:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, enjoyed the fantasy of Israel invading the Falklands.

• 58:39Speaker 04

  I don't know how we got there, but what a, what a time we've had.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  I don't know. And as soon as these hats come on, there's just something happened.

• 58:43Speaker 04

  I want to talk about the Falklands. See you next time. Bye bye.

• 58:47Speaker 03

  Goodbye.

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