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This episode explores the early life and ascent of Peter the Great, charting how a traumatized child who survived palace massacres transformed Muscovy into an imperial power. The hosts discuss Peter's horrific childhood hiding from the Streltsi guards, his obsession with model armies that became real fighting forces, his wild European gap year working in shipyards, and his brutal suppression of domestic traditionalists through forced beard-shaving and mass executions. Listeners get a detailed look at 17th-century Russian court culture, complete with state banquets featuring oiled dwarves springing from oversized pies and elaborate mockery of the Orthodox Church.
The episode opens with a commercial for Kayak, followed by a brief introduction to the show and hosts.
Hosts Fin Taylor and Horatio Gould welcome listeners to the episode about Peter the Great.
They cover the political turmoil, the Streltsy uprising, and Peter’s ascent to co‑tsar with his half‑brother.
The episode delves into Peter’s use of dwarves in state banquets and the comedic tone of the hosts’ commentary.
Peter’s 1697–1698 trip to Europe, his disguise, and his fascination with Western technology are explored.
The hosts examine Peter’s beard‑tax, church satire, and attempts to westernise Russian society.
The hosts conclude the discussion, hinting at upcoming episodes on the Swedish Empire and World War II.
Hosts launch into a heated critique of munters, setting a combative tone for the episode.
The conversation veers into a bizarre rabbit storyline, touching on cooking failures and the hosts’ playful banter.
Hosts critique modern masculinity, steroids, and societal expectations around male physique.
Hosts introduce Peter the Great, his reforms, and the broader European context of the era.
Hosts explore Peter’s shipbuilding, naval plans, and the strategic importance of the Baltic Sea.
Muscovy as a Slaver Stateinsight
The hosts trace the origins of modern Russia, describing early Muscovy as a wild Viking slaver state centered around river trade before Peter's reforms.
Hiding in the Kremlin Cupboardstory
At nine years old, Peter hid in a palace cupboard while the Streltsi guard mutinied, murdered members of the royal family, and impaled victims on pikes.
Oiled Dwarves in Giant Piesinsight
At state banquets hosted by Peter and his inner circle, guests were served massive pastries that opened to reveal oiled, naked dwarves sliding out.
The Streltsi Assassination Attemptstory
A frantic messenger alerted seventeen-year-old Peter that his half-sister Sophia had dispatched the Streltsi to assassinate him, prompting a desperate escape.
The All-Drunken Synodinsight
Peter established a mocking, state-run club called the All-Drunken Synod of Fools and Jesters to lampoon the conservative Orthodox Church.
Disguised as Sergeant Mikhailovstrategy
Peter embarked on an eighteen-month European tour in 1697 under the pseudonym Sergeant Peter Mikhailov, working undercover at Dutch shipyards.
Mass Execution of the Streltsistory
Upon returning from Europe to crush another guard rebellion, Peter personally executed enemies with an axe and displayed corpses outside Sophia's window.
The Swedish Baltic Monopolydata
Sweden controlled the Baltic through Finland, Estonia, Livonia, and northern Germany, turning the region into a Swedish lake.
“Peter the Great is nine years old and he's hiding in a cupboard in the Kremlin.”
“The end of the seventeenth century.”
“The wheel had roads. Electricity had the grid. Innovation needs infrastructure.”
“If there's one thing this podcast stands for, it's that we're anti-munter, okay?”
“Peter the Great, um, fucks his munter wife off.”
“The wheel was brilliant, but the road made it iconic.”
Warning, the rabbits in this series have not been cooked properly. The Great Northern War (Part One) This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Surfshark. Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at https://surfshark.com/fvh The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened. For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon patreon.com/fintaylor Chapters: 00:00 - Truss Is Britain 03:33 - It’s A Whole Team 07:18 - Russia Is Russia-ing 10:56 - No He’s Fine! 14:44 - Post Stamp Clarity 18:03 - She’s The Box 20:50 - Give Dwarfs The Roles 23:52 - Beavo’s Front Line 27:35 - The Graceful Retirement 30:09 - Horatio’s Entourage 34:46 - Exposure Therapy 39:28 - The Beard Tax 41:21 - Charlie’s Crime 46:56 - Bibs! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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