Protestcaust | The Reformation (Part 4/4)

Peppa Pig’s Doing Poppers In Berlin. The Reformation (Part Four) The show for people who like history but don't care what actually happened.  For weekly bonus episodes, ad-free listening and early access to series, become a Truther and sign up to the Patreon ⁠patreon.com/fintaylor This episode of Fin vs History is brought to you by Surfshark. Secure your privacy with Surfshark! Enter coupon code FVH for an extra 4 months at https://surfshark.com/fvh Chapters: 00:00 - Eat, Pray Ignore Your Wife 05:11 - Am I Gay Or Not 08:27 - The One Sky Policy 12:19 - Spanish Protestants 17:35 - Girl Who Cried Whenever 25:03 - My Fat Guy 33:07 - It’s A Trap! 36:30 - Element Of Gay 39:33 - Farage’s Origin Story 43:52 - Charlie.. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

• 0:12Speaker 00

  Welcome back to Fin vs History, I'm with Horatio Gould.

• 0:16Speaker 01

  Hi!

• 0:16Speaker 00

  This is the Counter-Reformation, it's part 4, it's a very sad episode.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  Very sad, indeed.

• 0:21Speaker 00

  Very, very tragic stuff this.

• 0:22Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 0:23Speaker 00

  The Empire Strikes Back.

• 0:25Speaker 01

  The Protestant Holocaust.

• 0:27Speaker 00

  The Protestant Holocaust.

• 0:28Speaker 01

  Numbers that you believe.

• 0:29Speaker 00

  I completely believe. Why would you doubt these numbers? And they're staggering.

• 0:33Speaker 01

  Yep, you'd write a denial of the denial if you heard someone deny this.

• 0:36Speaker 00

  I would like to open a debate.

• 0:38Speaker 01

  I'd like to deny the polyc...

• 0:40Speaker 00

  The protocol. Protocol.

• 0:42Speaker 01

  Of course denies.

• 0:43Speaker 00

  To summarise events, the filthy, disgusting, rotten Catholic Church had been bravely...

• 0:50Speaker 01

  To put it mildly.

• 0:51Speaker 00

  To put it mildly, and had been bravely challenged by Martin Luther and my own personal hero, John Calvin.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:00Speaker 00

  But by the 1540s, the Catholic Church have...

• 1:03Speaker 01

  It's 5am, it's a kitchen, it's an after, everyone's on ping, everyone's on coke, and Martin Luther's opened the curtains.

• 1:09Speaker 00

  And he's covered in poo.

• 1:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:13Speaker 01

  Right, streaming in and it's just the birds are tweeting, and now it's like, right, we've got to stop all this nonsense. Stop chatting shit.

• 1:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:21Speaker 01

  You go to bed.

• 1:22Speaker 00

  Yes, yes.

• 1:23Speaker 01

  You've got work tomorrow.

• 1:24Speaker 00

  Go to fucking bed. Genuinely, it's like when I went to Charlie's 30th. I felt like Martin Luther. In this rotten, you know, indulgent, all Charlie's friends, you know, they're all trans and they have no eyebrows.

• 1:38Speaker 01

  Finn has been quite confused because so many of Charlie's friends have no eyebrows.

• 1:42Speaker 00

  I'm just confused. I don't know what they're thinking.

• 1:44Speaker 01

  You don't know if it's an alopecia thing, you don't know if it's a political statement.

• 1:47Speaker 00

  Could be a political statement.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  You don't know if they're on Looney Tunes and they've tried to deactivate a bomb and it's exploded their eyebrows off.

• 1:53Speaker 00

  I don't know what they think.

• 1:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:55Speaker 00

  Okay. Anyway, so the Catholic Church start to notice that they're losing the grip on the Holy Roman Empire, and so they initiate the Council of Trent.

• 2:07Speaker 01

  Trent Alexander-Arnold.

• 2:08Speaker 00

  Ladies, calm yourselves, okay? There are episodes where we talk about... Engineering issues. And again, you know, in the Chernobyl series, we talked about nuclear fission. Many ladies left the house during that without spare pants and their days were ruined. I'm giving you a chance now.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  It caused them engineering issues.

• 2:27Speaker 00

  They had their own engineering issues. They had their own fishing problems.

• 2:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:30Speaker 00

  I'm warning you now that when we get into the Council of Trent, similar issues will occur. Okay. This is not stuff to be taken lightly. Now, the Council of Trent is an 18-year.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  Council.

• 2:44Speaker 00

  Theological meeting.

• 2:46Speaker 01

  Right. An 18-year-long meet. I guess you don't have loads to do in those days.

• 2:51Speaker 00

  No, but this is, this is, this is an 18-year meeting as how should we respond to Martin Luther's book.

• 2:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 2:59Speaker 00

  It really does go to show that the, the upper hand the Protestants had with printing press. The Catholics had an 18-year meeting.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:06Speaker 00

  As a result of this Council of Trent, they, they work out what they think in response to Luther's challenge. They say that the faith is not the only thing. It's also the church.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 3:20Speaker 00

  18 years this took.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 3:22Speaker 00

  That communion is actually the blood and body of Christ.

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Guys, go back in there until you come up with a better idea.

• 3:28Speaker 00

  It took you 18 years to just double down on the fact that actually is, but that's bollocks. That's absolute bollocks. They say the seven sacraments are to stay in place, which is now these, now again, this is a Protestant podcast.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:42Speaker 00

  So the sacraments are baptism, confirmation, eucharist, penance, anointing of the sick, holy orders, and marriage.

• 3:51Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 3:51Speaker 00

  What are the Protestant sacraments? Work, sleep, tap water.

• 3:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. Pray, repeat.

• 3:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:59Speaker 00

  Yeah. Eat, pray, love.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:02Speaker 00

  Except don't love.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:04Speaker 00

  Don't open yourself.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  Eat and pray.

• 4:05Speaker 00

  Eat, pray, sleep, don't feel anything, clench your jaw till your face explodes, ignore your wife, shake your kids' hands. No, I'm not dad, I'm sir. They say the Latin translation of the Bible should be continued to be prioritised. And they would still have do indulgences, but they were not allowed to be marketed.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  Right, so they weren't allowed to be like sponsored content or like part of a brand.

• 4:28Speaker 00

  No, no paid advertising.

• 4:31Speaker 00

  They also banned relatives from being appointed to church positions and they said that bishops had to live in their dioceses.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Right, they didn't want a roaming like false nine bishop.

• 4:42Speaker 00

  No, they didn't want like when an MP, you know, is not actually from the area and they get parachuted in from Westminster.

• 4:50Speaker 00

  But they also found the Jesuits, the shock troops of the Counter-Reformation. These are mass missionaries who they basically go and spread the gospel of sin to try and break up the Protestant states.

• 5:11Speaker 00

  So we get to the Roman Inquisition of 1542, okay? This is where the Protestant course begins.

• 5:17Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 5:19Speaker 01

  Is this the beginning of the wars of religion that sort of is still sort of going on now in some ways?

• 5:24Speaker 00

  Is it still going on now?

• 5:25Speaker 01

  No.

• 5:26Speaker 00

  And now it's Christianity versus Islam.

• 5:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess so. Is there Protestant Catholic, I mean, there's tensions in Northern Ireland, but was that the last embers of it? There's the old Celtic Rangers, I guess, is as close as it gets.

• 5:39Speaker 00

  But that's football, isn't it?

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:40Speaker 00

  That's a spectator sport.

• 5:41Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 5:42Speaker 00

  You know.

• 5:42Speaker 01

  This is a spectator sport for some people.

• 5:44Speaker 00

  This episode will challenge how much of a spectator sport this stuff is.

• 5:49Speaker 00

  So the Roman Inquisition, the, these are the, I mean, at this point in sort of 16th century, the Holy Roman Empire is Spanish, I think it's still Charles the Fifth. Get a photo of Charles the Fifth, Charlie, let's have a look at this jaw. It's this guy, he basically, Spain is like a rogue state. And he sends his sort of spies across the empire to fuck me.

• 6:14Speaker 01

  Christ.

• 6:14Speaker 00

  That's, right, so he's like, we're looking at a photo of Charles the Fifth.

• 6:19Speaker 01

  What's the noise that you think when you hear that?

• 6:24Speaker 01

  I think it's more like.

• 6:26Speaker 00

  I'm scared, excuse me.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  Was there any experience in life that would cause you to make that face? Could you ever see yourself making an expression like that?

• 6:35Speaker 01

  I think that's what Finn's face was when he came to your 30.

• 6:41Speaker 00

  Where are your eyebrows? Where are your eyebrows? Are you trans?

• 6:43Speaker 01

  Finn meetings up with the Vindal eyebrows.

• 6:47Speaker 00

  Um, what are you thinking? Are you pissed off at me? I can't tell. And what gender are you either? I don't, I don't, I don't need to know. But if I'm attracted to you and you're a bloke, I need to know if I'm gay. That's what I need to know.

• 7:00Speaker 00

  That's the thing about gender neutral. I know it doesn't matter.

• 7:02Speaker 01

  You went around, you did panic and go around asking everyone if you're gay, which is a weird. Am I gay?

• 7:08Speaker 00

  No, it's when people say they're gender neutral. It's like that, I know you don't care, but if I'm attracted to you, what does it mean for me?

• 7:14Speaker 01

  So are you saying only ugly people should be gender neutral?

• 7:17Speaker 00

  I'm saying there's a, there's a level of ugliness where it doesn't matter.

• 7:22Speaker 00

  You know?

• 7:23Speaker 01

  But if you're hot, you should be gender neutral. Cause it implies a lot for other people.

• 7:26Speaker 00

  You can be gender, you can say you're gender neutral, but I need to know. It's like the Italian, it's, there's that brilliant, uh, who's that Italian comic? Who's got that bit about it?

• 7:34Speaker 01

  Felipe, Filippo.

• 7:35Speaker 00

  It's this reel where it's guys like, in Italy, if you're gender neutral, we say, um, le, gender neutral. Cause if you're a bloke or lash neutral, if you're a woman, because in romance languages, you can't actually. Everything has to be gendered.

• 7:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:50Speaker 00

  So yes, that's, I suppose that's how I looked at Charles. What are you actually? I need to know if I'm gay or not. Yeah. So he's, he's at this, at this point in history, Spain is a rogue state. It's basically 16th century Israel. In that it's like, it's, it's causing chaos in violation of international law. Okay.

• 8:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:14Speaker 00

  Charles the fifth, that guy has got a network of spies.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:17Speaker 00

  Who he's sending out to quell Protestants.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 8:19Speaker 00

  The good guys.

• 8:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 8:21Speaker 00

  Okay. So it's like.

• 8:22Speaker 01

  So they've got their own IDF.

• 8:23Speaker 00

  Mothad.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:24Speaker 00

  A mothad.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:27Speaker 00

  And he's sending mothad all over the Holy Roman Empire to quell Protestants. So one of the most famous examples of this is Galileo in Italy, who, now he built a telescope.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  When was Galileo?

• 8:42Speaker 00

  This is in the sort of early 17th century now.

• 8:44Speaker 01

  Okay, right, right, right.

• 8:45Speaker 00

  He builds this telescope.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:47Speaker 00

  And he sees the moon, like, in more, and now this is not high definition.

• 8:52Speaker 01

  No.

• 8:52Speaker 00

  This would be like he sees it in fucking 360.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 8:55Speaker 00

  Rather than 1080.

• 8:56Speaker 01

  Dangerous if we start to talk about science again.

• 8:58Speaker 00

  Yeah, yes, sorry.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  So we'll be very careful with this.

• 9:00Speaker 00

  No, no, but this is 17th century science. I think we have to back ourselves that we can, we can, you know. It's a telescope and he can see the moon clearer than anyone else has.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  Right.

• 9:10Speaker 00

  And so he sees this.

• 9:11Speaker 01

  Did he make the telescope?

• 9:13Speaker 00

  Why are you asking me that? Why are you asking me that?

• 9:15Speaker 01

  And what was he trying to make?

• 9:17Speaker 00

  I don't really, I don't know.

• 9:18Speaker 01

  Look at the state of that telescope.

• 9:19Speaker 00

  I don't know how a telescope works. I don't understand how he sees craters on the moon in the 17th century. I don't understand it.

• 9:25Speaker 01

  But do you think it was, he was trying to make a quick shot launch and it was sort of like when they invented penicillin, when they discovered penicillin?

• 9:33Speaker 00

  Right.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  When he left an old mouldy sandwich out and it molded into penicillin.

• 9:36Speaker 00

  He was trying to make the quick shot launch masturbator.

• 9:38Speaker 01

  And it happened to be, and he looked through it and he goes, hang on a minute. This has got like, yeah, this has got like 10 times zoom.

• 9:44Speaker 00

  You know that, you know that famous TV shot of the guy that walks across and times it perfectly with like, you get this and the rocket launches?

• 9:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:50Speaker 00

  It's that, except you get this and it's just a guy going, the background.

• 9:56Speaker 00

  Yeah, I, so Galileo didn't invent the telescope, but he made significant improvements.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  30 times magnification.

• 10:03Speaker 00

  It magnified it by 30 times.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  He built the first planet-wide media empire.

• 10:38Speaker 04

  He monetized the paranoia and resentment that led to Donald Trump and Brexit.

• 10:43Speaker 03

  He ruined his own family in his obsessive quest for money, power and legacy.

• 10:47Speaker 04

  This is the story of Rupert Murdoch, the real-life succession.

• 10:51Speaker 03

  Join me, Dorian Linsky.

• 10:53Speaker 04

  And me, Ian Dunst, for season 10 of Origin Story, the show that uses the past to explain the present.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  That's Origin Story, kicking off with a two-part special on Rupert Murdoch on all podcast platforms now.

• 11:07Speaker 00

  So he sees that the moon's got craters on it.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:10Speaker 00

  Which then, now, I think maybe the Catholic Church, they've been operating under this thing called like the one-sky theory or something.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  Right, so it's like the one-child policy.

• 11:19Speaker 00

  Sort of, in that they're like, the moon doesn't have crater. I don't know, but the fact, again, everyone's very, very thick.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  The funny bit of the thing is that everything revolves around the Earth.

• 11:28Speaker 00

  Galileo is a heliocentrist.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  Right, so he's sort of Nick Clegg.

• 11:33Speaker 00

  He's Nick Clegg, but he thinks that the Earth revolves around the Sun.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 11:38Speaker 00

  And the Catholics are like, no.

• 11:39Speaker 01

  That completely fucks everything.

• 11:41Speaker 00

  What do you mean? You're mental?

• 11:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:43Speaker 00

  Get off the fence.

• 11:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:45Speaker 00

  Pick a side. He also sees that Jupiter has moons.

• 11:49Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 11:50Speaker 00

  And then, so the moons.

• 11:53Speaker 01

  What, through his telescope?

• 11:54Speaker 00

  Again, don't ask me like I fucking know. I don't care. I don't, I'm not, like, our patrons will have telescopes in their bedroom.

• 12:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:01Speaker 00

  And they'll be pointing it down towards their neighbour's house to look at their daughter, okay? They're not looking up.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:07Speaker 00

  But he finds out that if Jupiter has moons, that means not everything revolves around.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Not everything revolves around the moon.

• 12:17Speaker 00

  Not everything revolves around moon.

• 12:19Speaker 01

  Slamming the door shut.

• 12:20Speaker 00

  Yeah. I don't know what, I don't know what this, I don't care, all right?

• 12:25Speaker 01

  Right.

• 12:25Speaker 00

  But the point is, is that what he finds in his little telescope, it means that it contradicts some of the stuff in the Bible that implies that the Earth was just flat. But again, this is a 2000-year-old book.

• 12:35Speaker 01

  So they torture him? How do they torture Galileo?

• 12:38Speaker 00

  I think they put him on like a rack or something.

• 12:40Speaker 01

  It's just your personal trainer, right?

• 12:42Speaker 00

  He was physically, he was not physically. Psychological pressure. Psychological pressure.

• 12:46Speaker 01

  No.

• 12:48Speaker 00

  Listen.

• 12:48Speaker 01

  Well, that's, look, because the whole thing about Calle L is that he recanted all the things he said because he was tortured so much and he was like an old man. I didn't know it was just peer pressure.

• 12:56Speaker 02

  And he was grounded for nine years.

• 12:57Speaker 00

  No, but listen, this is devastatingly sad. The Catholics, you know, this is awful. Psycho in some ways, you know, you can withstand physical pain, but psychological torture.

• 13:05Speaker 01

  That's far worse.

• 13:06Speaker 00

  Far worse. Okay.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  Maybe it was cock and bull torture.

• 13:09Speaker 00

  Maybe it was piss play. We don't know. He was confined to his house. He was put under house arrest. He was shown the instruments of torture to intimidate him into recanting. Oh, look at this. Um, basically Spain, Charles the Fifth are Mossad and they have, or maybe they're Iranian, Iranian proxies. Now, the Spanish Inquisition had been founded in 1478, uh, and it had been focused on enforcing, uh, Jews and Muslims to become Catholics.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  Right. Makes sense.

• 13:39Speaker 00

  Makes sense.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  Makes sense why they'd want to do that.

• 13:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 13:46Speaker 02

  What's this? The Spanish Inquisition?

• 13:47Speaker 00

  So, yeah, it is actually, Charlie. Yeah.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:49Speaker 00

  Um, however, once the Protestants come into it, uh, they, they start to clamp down. They use the same tactics on these poor, innocent, you know, hardworking Christians. So, uh, you have Protestants in Valladolid and Seville.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  Well, they shouldn't be doing anything there, to be honest.

• 14:10Speaker 00

  I, I do think if you're Protestant in Spain.

• 14:12Speaker 01

  What's going on?

• 14:13Speaker 00

  What are you doing there? Are you on holiday? Maybe they're on holiday. In which case this is even more tragic.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:19Speaker 00

  But it's funny to, it's the same.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  The Benidorm, I guess, is a Protestant outpost.

• 14:22Speaker 00

  Thank you. You're right.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  So there's like a safe zone.

• 14:25Speaker 00

  That's Protestant Spain.

• 14:28Speaker 00

  Protestant Spain is Benidorm, it's Tenerife. You know, this makes sense.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  Yes, it's fucking full English for fucking dinner.

• 14:35Speaker 00

  Yeah, Irish pub.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  Irish pub, yeah.

• 14:38Speaker 00

  This makes sense. You know, plastic chairs, bald guys sitting there getting pink.

• 14:43Speaker 01

  Who's, who's the famous person who's in Benidorm? There's that old lady, was it? No, is it?

• 14:48Speaker 02

  Bevo went to Benidorm, he had a bad time. Kept getting abused in the street.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  Well, it's hard to be Protestant in Spain.

• 14:53Speaker 00

  It is hard.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  I don't have Bevo as Protestant.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  He doesn't know he's Protestant, but, uh.

• 14:57Speaker 00

  He swallows like a Protestant.

• 14:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:59Speaker 00

  Fucking.

• 15:00Speaker 01

  No chew.

• 15:01Speaker 00

  You know the rules.

• 15:03Speaker 00

  So, yes, you're right to think that Benidorm was Protestant Spain because the Spanish Inquisition labelled drunken mockery as Lutheran.

• 15:11Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:12Speaker 00

  And eating meat on forbidden days was heresy.

• 15:15Speaker 01

  Such as Fridays.

• 15:15Speaker 00

  You're right, and that really this is a battle for the soul of Spain.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  Right.

• 15:20Speaker 00

  And we are now left with, you know, mainland Spain, or sort of original Spain.

• 15:25Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 15:27Speaker 00

  And then these few brave outposts.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 15:29Speaker 00

  These settler states. Of Benidorm, Tenerife, and I don't know, I don't know.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  Sort of like a beachhead, yeah.

• 15:36Speaker 00

  Canary Islands, maybe.

• 15:37Speaker 02

  Mallorca, Menorca.

• 15:38Speaker 00

  Mallorca, Menorca, yeah, exactly. They're safe for us to travel to.

• 15:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:42Speaker 00

  But they, you know, they also ban, they start banning books. And they have an index of all these pages that are, all these titles that are forbidden.

• 15:51Speaker 01

  What books would you like to ban?

• 15:55Speaker 00

  What books would I ban? Why I'm No Longer Talking To White People About Race. I ban that.

• 16:01Speaker 01

  Right.

• 16:02Speaker 00

  Ban.

• 16:06Speaker 00

  I'd also ban.

• 16:07Speaker 01

  Women Don't Know You Pretty?

• 16:08Speaker 00

  Women Don't Know You Pretty.

• 16:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. Banned?

• 16:11Speaker 00

  Banned. I'd also, there's several books that my.

• 16:15Speaker 01

  I'd love to see the colour of the books on the pyre that you're burning, because they'd all be.

• 16:20Speaker 00

  Very colourful, very colourful.

• 16:21Speaker 01

  Pink, poppy, like, all this sort of pop feminism stuff.

• 16:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly. White feminism, ban. Now, I'll tell you what I would actually ban, is the several kids books that I would ban.

• 16:32Speaker 01

  What, what kids books?

• 16:33Speaker 00

  No, no, no, not what, just I don't want to read them, and my kids always make me read them.

• 16:36Speaker 01

  What?

• 16:37Speaker 00

  And they're fucking boring. The Enormous Turnip, banned, burned.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  Done.

• 16:42Speaker 00

  Done. What's another, oh, Bing. Bing can fuck off.

• 16:47Speaker 01

  What's Bing about?

• 16:48Speaker 00

  I don't, Bing is a cartoon of a rabbit who's a fucking wetter, right? And he's always going.

• 16:54Speaker 01

  So he's bad lessons?

• 16:55Speaker 00

  Yes, yes.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  And he's with Flop.

• 16:57Speaker 00

  And he's with Flop and Amma and Sula.

• 17:00Speaker 02

  I know about Bing.

• 17:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:01Speaker 01

  Because you don't have kids?

• 17:02Speaker 00

  No, this is Charlie's reading list.

• 17:06Speaker 01

  How did you know about that?

• 17:07Speaker 00

  Because he reads, he reads at night, okay.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  It's famous.

• 17:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, well, it's a TV show that they made into books.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  Right, okay.

• 17:13Speaker 00

  But Bing can, Bing can get in the bin, right? Bing's awful, Bing's boring.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:17Speaker 00

  Bluey's brilliant. Bluey's absolute, Bluey's great stuff. You can watch Bluey without kids and you really enjoy it.

• 17:22Speaker 01

  Is Percy Pig good?

• 17:24Speaker 02

  Pepper.

• 17:25Speaker 00

  Pepper Pig's fucked.

• 17:26Speaker 02

  My mate lived with Pepper.

• 17:27Speaker 00

  What do you mean, lived with Pepper Pig?

• 17:29Speaker 02

  My mate honestly lived with Pepper Pig in Berlin, the person who voiced Pepper.

• 17:33Speaker 01

  In Berlin?

• 17:35Speaker 00

  Pepper Pig lived in Berlin?

• 17:37Speaker 01

  I didn't see that.

• 17:38Speaker 02

  Peppers in Berghain.

• 17:38Speaker 00

  Peppers in Berghain?

• 17:43Speaker 02

  He found out, he was living with her and then he kind of asked her what she did and then eventually it became clear that actually.

• 17:47Speaker 00

  And she went?

• 17:49Speaker 02

  She's Pepper, she voiced Pepper Pig.

• 17:51Speaker 00

  And she lived in Berlin?

• 17:52Speaker 02

  Pepper Pig lives in Berlin, the voice of Pepper.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Is that actual Pepper?

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Pepper.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  Lives in Berlin.

• 17:57Speaker 01

  Not Papa?

• 17:58Speaker 02

  Pepper, not Dad.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  Not Poppers?

• 18:00Speaker 01

  Papa Pig?

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Peppers doing Poppers in Berlin.

• 18:05Speaker 00

  Right, well, this has changed, I can no longer have that on my screen. If I know that Pepper Pig is fucking in Berghain.

• 18:12Speaker 01

  How old is Pepper?

• 18:13Speaker 02

  Pepper is about our age, about sort of 29, 30.

• 18:16Speaker 00

  This is, this is not her.

• 18:17Speaker 01

  Is it a she?

• 18:18Speaker 00

  People need to know this.

• 18:19Speaker 02

  Peppers lady, yeah.

• 18:19Speaker 00

  People need to know this.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Is she sending it?

• 18:20Speaker 02

  She's sending it, yeah.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  Fair enough.

• 18:22Speaker 00

  She lives in Berlin.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:23Speaker 00

  You know?

• 18:24Speaker 02

  She's having it large.

• 18:24Speaker 00

  Berlin is not, you know, Berlin is not a Lutheran city.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  No.

• 18:27Speaker 00

  Is it?

• 18:28Speaker 01

  No.

• 18:29Speaker 00

  It's godless.

• 18:30Speaker 01

  Anymore?

• 18:31Speaker 00

  Godless. Well, that's, that's, that's pretty, I mean, I'd ban that then.

• 18:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:35Speaker 00

  Ban that filth. Anyway, so the Catholics banned loads of books and they, they start to clamp down on Protestants and there is the first Protestant man in Spain to be killed, burnt at the stake for being Protestant, a painter from Mallorca, of course he's from Mallorca.

• 18:53Speaker 01

  Can't say anything these days.

• 18:55Speaker 00

  Mallorcanistan. Mallorca, Gon, Gon Salvo. And he never even admitted to being a Lutheran, but he was executed in 1523.

• 19:05Speaker 01

  Would you change your Facebook profile picture to with a faded water?

• 19:09Speaker 00

  I stand with Gon Salvo.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:10Speaker 00

  Now, they don't always kill the Protestants.

• 19:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 19:15Speaker 00

  In the Spanish Inquisition, they sentence them to penance, they have to wear a san bonito, which is a big sack. The exile fines.

• 19:24Speaker 01

  Can we have a look at what the san bonito looks like?

• 19:26Speaker 00

  San bonito, it's a big sack with yellow and red crosses and flames as decoration, it sounds like.

• 19:30Speaker 01

  Sounds pretty sick.

• 19:31Speaker 00

  It's like a Hawaiian shirt I would have worn, made in 10. Oh, it's like a big dunce hat. Is that where we get a-

• 19:35Speaker 01

  Fair enough.

• 19:36Speaker 00

  Is that, is that where we get a big dunce hat from?

• 19:39Speaker 01

  I mean, it's kind of fire though. I don't know why they've decorated it so well.

• 19:42Speaker 02

  That might be blood.

• 19:43Speaker 01

  It kind of goes hard.

• 19:44Speaker 02

  No, no, it's not very hard, that's it.

• 19:45Speaker 00

  So it's like a big sort of tabard with a big cross on it?

• 19:47Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:48Speaker 00

  And that means that you're, you're a Protestant and a Catholic?

• 19:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, I guess you'd feel pretty vulnerable.

• 19:52Speaker 00

  That's the equivalent of the Jews having the yellow star.

• 19:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:55Speaker 00

  You know, so this is, I mean, this is just devastatingly sad. I'm struggling through this episode.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  The fact that humanity can go to such lows.

• 20:02Speaker 00

  Can sink so low.

• 20:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:04Speaker 00

  Uh, they had to make, they made like a public show trial to rejoin the church.

• 20:09Speaker 00

  And they were banned from working jobs in medicine and law, and they weren't allowed to wear jewellery, ride horses or carry weapons.

• 20:17Speaker 01

  Well, what's, what's the point of living?

• 20:18Speaker 00

  What's the point of being Protestant if you can't carry a weapon?

• 20:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:22Speaker 00

  So death penalties were quite rare for Protestants in Spain. I dispute that. But also, so now it says here that there were more people that were killed in England by Mary, Queen of Scots-

• 20:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:34Speaker 00

  Than in Spain.

• 20:36Speaker 01

  It does sound like 10 people per year with various incentives for Protestantism.

• 20:40Speaker 00

  That's 10 people, that's 10 people too many. I, I do dispute that. I think, I think it was far bigger than that.

• 20:45Speaker 01

  15, 20 people maybe?

• 20:47Speaker 00

  Maybe even 30. Okay, the number rose to 93 a year. This is a disgrace, okay? Where, where are the memorials?

• 20:55Speaker 01

  Where's, where's the pile of shoes? It wouldn't be many shoes.

• 21:00Speaker 00

  Where's the pile of glasses? Okay, you know?

• 21:02Speaker 01

  There'd be about five pairs of glasses.

• 21:05Speaker 00

  No, they've all got glasses. They're working, they're reading, they've got to read the Bible.

• 21:09Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:09Speaker 00

  Catholics don't have to read.

• 21:10Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:11Speaker 00

  Right? Protestantism is about reading.

• 21:14Speaker 01

  It's a book club, basically.

• 21:15Speaker 00

  Protestantism?

• 21:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:17Speaker 00

  Yes, it is a book-

• 21:18Speaker 01

  You sit in a circle, you read a, you talk about each chapter and how it made you feel.

• 21:21Speaker 00

  Yeah, it is.

• 21:22Speaker 01

  You've been part of a book club?

• 21:23Speaker 00

  My ex-girlfriend went to a book club and ha- happened to be there was my now-wife, because we were friends before we got together.

• 21:30Speaker 01

  Right.

• 21:30Speaker 00

  And I was with my girl-

• 21:31Speaker 01

  My now-wife?

• 21:32Speaker 00

  My now-wife?

• 21:36Speaker 00

  They, they, so they crossed paths and at that particular book club, um, my ex-girlfriend cried.

• 21:43Speaker 01

  Were you dating her at the time she was at the book club?

• 21:46Speaker 00

  Yes, my ex, so she cried.

• 21:47Speaker 01

  What are you doing at this time? Are you betting on, um, is this when you're in your betting phase?

• 21:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm betting on virtual cockfighting. I'm not, I'm making my own.

• 21:56Speaker 01

  Seeking cans of Polish, Polish lager, betting on cockfighting.

• 22:00Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm not, I'm not in a good place.

• 22:02Speaker 00

  But she, she cries because of, because I hadn't fucking made her a good enough vegan dinner or something.

• 22:08Speaker 01

  Or something.

• 22:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, or something. Or I'd be rude to a friend, I don't know, take a pic. And then, and then my, yeah, my wife remembers that and then luckily.

• 22:17Speaker 01

  This guy sounds good.

• 22:19Speaker 00

  This guy sounds like, I can tell, sounds like your, sounds like your friends aren't a laugh, but this guy sounds fucking hilarious. I'd love to go with this guy. No, but I, I was mates with him already.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Right.

• 22:29Speaker 00

  So, um, anyway, yeah.

• 22:31Speaker 01

  Okay, what, so what she heard from your current girlfriend, what, what did, what did your now wife?

• 22:37Speaker 00

  She heard her side of the story and then my, my now wife was like, I think, I think maybe you're the problem.

• 22:43Speaker 02

  Did part of you already have feelings for your?

• 22:45Speaker 00

  Oh, I fancied the whole time, fancied the whole time. I, I met her when I was 18 and I was like, yes.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  Did you think the book, did you think the book club?

• 22:52Speaker 00

  And then basically.

• 22:52Speaker 01

  And she was like, no.

• 22:53Speaker 00

  And my wife was like, no, no.

• 22:56Speaker 01

  Let me have a look for other options.

• 22:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please, anyone, let's find anyone else.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  All right, no one, fine.

• 23:01Speaker 00

  And then she started, and then, but I, I was determined. I was like a world war one general. I was like, slowly, year by year.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 23:08Speaker 00

  We will progress through the song. It's the long game. I would just, and then she started, it's, you know, the biological clock starts to tick. She starts getting slightly older, you know, suddenly I'm looking more and more like a, a last option, right? She starts throwing her friends.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  The lights come up at the club. Who's left?

• 23:24Speaker 00

  Hi. She starts throwing her friends in front like human shields.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 23:29Speaker 00

  And I bat them off.

• 23:34Speaker 00

  Batten them off.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  That's not gonna work on me.

• 23:36Speaker 00

  Ah, fuck off love. I see what you're doing there. In the bin, right? Out a window. Defenestrator. Get her out, get her out a window. I threw several of her friends out the window and it made the wedding awkward because all the bridesmaids were paralyzed.

• 23:51Speaker 00

  Um, no, anyway, and then eventually, uh, yeah, afterward, 12, 12, 10, 10 years, 10 years, um, I wore her down.

• 24:00Speaker 01

  That's one of those beautiful stories I've had in my life.

• 24:03Speaker 00

  And she signed the Treaty of Versailles in a railway carriage and, um, yeah, and there was a peace that was.

• 24:12Speaker 01

  An uneasy peace.

• 24:13Speaker 00

  Uneasy peace. Listen, now we've had kids, there's, there's something brewing.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, and I think maybe the deal that she's got will eventually lead to.

• 24:20Speaker 00

  Yeah, she's, she's getting angrier, getting angrier as that happens.

• 24:23Speaker 01

  She's gonna move her troops to the Rhineland and there's nothing you can do about it.

• 24:26Speaker 00

  Nothing I can do, no. But yeah, no, that was, anyway, that was the only book club I've ever been a part of and, uh.

• 24:32Speaker 01

  Well, you weren't a part, were you there?

• 24:33Speaker 00

  No, I wasn't there. I was at home.

• 24:34Speaker 01

  Right.

• 24:35Speaker 00

  Not cooking dinner.

• 24:36Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 24:37Speaker 00

  But then she was so picky that I could never make the dinner correctly. So I just gave up.

• 24:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:41Speaker 00

  And I said, well, let's just get a takeaway. And then she fucking cried or something.

• 24:49Speaker 00

  She was always crying.

• 24:50Speaker 02

  What's she up to now?

• 24:51Speaker 00

  I don't know. I don't know. But I wish her well.

• 24:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you, so.

• 24:56Speaker 00

  But I'm glad I'm not there.

• 24:57Speaker 01

  Is your wife now a big crier? Cause I, yeah, BB it's like three times a day, but she, she can't expect me to react to her crying as if it's crying, if it's that regular. Cause she's devalued what crying is.

• 25:08Speaker 00

  It's boy cried wolf.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  It definitely is. Girl who cried fucking boo hoo.

• 25:12Speaker 00

  Girl who cried whenever.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 00

  Uh, no, she doesn't cry much. No.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  That's good, solid.

• 25:17Speaker 00

  You gotta marry them.

• 25:17Speaker 01

  That's a tough one, yeah.

• 25:19Speaker 00

  You gotta marry them.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Your BB is just constant. Just pick your moments. Do you know what I mean?

• 25:24Speaker 00

  Well, crying doesn't mean anything if you're crying at a fucking, at a sunset.

• 25:27Speaker 01

  I feel like women cry like men wank though. It's sort of like cleaning the pipes.

• 25:32Speaker 00

  Yes, you're right.

• 25:33Speaker 01

  For them, I think it, I guess if, if you saw one of us cry, it would be like, it, it's such a serious thing. Cause it would happen every three or four years. And it would be, what's happened? It's so devastating.

• 25:44Speaker 00

  My wife has ever cried hanging upside down with an apple up her arse.

• 25:48Speaker 01

  You don't know that.

• 25:49Speaker 00

  Right, I don't know that.

• 25:50Speaker 01

  You don't know that. She's got a life that you don't know.

• 25:52Speaker 00

  That's funny, because that implies that women are masturbating once every four years, when a relative dies or something.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's pretty serious.

• 25:57Speaker 00

  No, it's serious. Oh dear. No, she's upstairs, she's masturbating, something's gone very wrong.

• 26:03Speaker 00

  But crying is Catholic, and so, you know, these Protestant men, look, they're wearing their tabard, they're sort of, they're Jewish stars of the 16th century, but they're dealing with it. They're just cracking on, you know?

• 26:16Speaker 00

  Because their faith strengthens them.

• 26:18Speaker 01

  Right.

• 26:18Speaker 00

  Right, so, now, Charles V, you know, 16th century Netanyahu, he has his spies everywhere, and he starts to infiltrate other areas like Paris, Constantinople, London, Brussels, and through their embassies, the Spanish are operating this awful network of anti-Protestant activity.

• 26:43Speaker 00

  And you...

• 26:46Speaker 00

  You...

• 26:47Speaker 01

  What's this, Johnny? What have you got, Johnny?

• 26:48Speaker 02

  This is a Nigerian man who is setting a world record for the longest crying by an individual.

• 26:55Speaker 01

  Let's hear what his cry sounds like.

• 26:57Speaker 00

  African cries are great.

• 27:05Speaker 02

  He was temporarily blind for 45 minutes with headaches and a swollen face, because he claimed to have cried for seven days as part of a trend of record attempts in Nigeria to cry as much as you can.

• 27:17Speaker 01

  Did he win?

• 27:19Speaker 02

  I don't know.

• 27:20Speaker 01

  Now, what's interesting is Protestantism in Africa, because I feel because Christianity was brought by European missionaries

• 27:26Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 27:27Speaker 01

  from Northern Europe, a lot of it, most of Africa is Protestant, right?

• 27:31Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 27:31Speaker 01

  It doesn't seem to manifest itself in a particularly Protestant way.

• 27:34Speaker 00

  No, it comes out Catholic, almost. Why are you a gear? I mean, that's Protestantism meets African, and it becomes Catholic.

• 27:43Speaker 00

  You know, because they're not, no condoms.

• 27:45Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:46Speaker 00

  Loads of babies.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  Right.

• 27:48Speaker 00

  Yeah, it is funny that, isn't it?

• 27:49Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:50Speaker 00

  And then, but Protestantism, Protestantism meets Asian, it just kind of bounces back.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:54Speaker 00

  It doesn't touch the sides.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  They send it back.

• 27:56Speaker 00

  Fuck off.

• 27:56Speaker 01

  Return to sender.

• 27:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, it's a squash, it's a squash court. You can't, like, Asian Confucianism or whatever, whatever they're kind of.

• 28:04Speaker 01

  They already figure this shit out.

• 28:06Speaker 00

  They have, they're so ahead of all of us.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:08Speaker 00

  Like, they're a-religious.

• 28:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:10Speaker 00

  So, like.

• 28:11Speaker 01

  Actually, that's very Protestant to basically be like.

• 28:14Speaker 00

  Yeah, but they're not even, they're not even arguing about like atheism, agnosticism, they're just like, nah, been, done, next.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, we all agree.

• 28:20Speaker 00

  They're the Protestant, like, you know, they're the beacon on the hill.

• 28:23Speaker 01

  Definitely. Japan, basically.

• 28:25Speaker 00

  Japan?

• 28:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:26Speaker 00

  You know, suicide, supuku.

• 28:28Speaker 01

  I mean, yeah.

• 28:28Speaker 00

  Does it get more Protestant than that?

• 28:32Speaker 00

  You know?

• 28:33Speaker 01

  That is interesting. Suicide is very much a Protestant thing, right?

• 28:36Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  Because the Catholic Church says that's a big no-no.

• 28:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:38Speaker 01

  But Protestants, like, have at it.

• 28:40Speaker 00

  Get yourself out the window.

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, if you, if you, if you're a burden.

• 28:43Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:43Speaker 01

  Or if you have some mental health issues, get gone.

• 28:46Speaker 00

  Kill yourself. That's how you solve everything.

• 28:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, so there's a lot of respect for the Japanese approach.

• 28:51Speaker 00

  It's the easiest solution.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  If you disordered someone, don't apologize, kill yourself.

• 28:55Speaker 00

  Yeah. Don't burden them with your apology, kill yourself, you know?

• 28:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, well, why are you holding on to guilt? Kill yourself.

• 29:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly. So, uh, now, let's get, so there's been a big, there's a big war with the Dutch, the Spain, Charles V. Because the Dutch are Calvinist at this point, in the early 1600s.

• 29:16Speaker 01

  Makes sense.

• 29:17Speaker 00

  It does make sense.

• 29:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:19Speaker 00

  And Spain start fighting them.

• 29:24Speaker 00

  I don't know who wins, it goes on for fucking ages, right?

• 29:27Speaker 01

  The Netherlands was part of the Holy Roman Empire, or, and then owned by, which was also in Spain, and they fought back and became this, like, very, like, stubborn city-state.

• 29:36Speaker 00

  Because this is the start of the Dutch Golden Age, right? So, they, do they defeat the Habsburgs? Basically, the Habsburgs are constantly.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  Amsterdam is the most Protestant city, one of the most Protestant, like, foundations, because it was like, it's shitland, right?

• 29:51Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 29:51Speaker 01

  It's built on a marsh. And they basically constructed a canal from nothing and they all wore the same outfits.

• 29:57Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 29:57Speaker 01

  Like that garb.

• 29:58Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 29:59Speaker 01

  I guess it's not anymore because now it's a.

• 30:01Speaker 00

  It's filthy den.

• 30:02Speaker 01

  It's filthy den of godless.

• 30:03Speaker 00

  Yeah. Now, as we explained last episode, Calvin had set off this huge battle for the soul of France. Was France going to be a country where people didn't wash and spend their days picking pastry flakes out of their pubes? Or was it going to be an actual nation?

• 30:21Speaker 01

  Right.

• 30:21Speaker 00

  Uh, we lost that one.

• 30:23Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 30:24Speaker 00

  Tragically.

• 30:25Speaker 01

  Tragically.

• 30:25Speaker 00

  Uh, but it does mean that people who work have somewhere to go on holiday. So it's not all bad.

• 30:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:32Speaker 00

  But now France had a fork in the road. Uh, and in the late latter half of the 16th century.

• 30:39Speaker 01

  And they fell asleep at the wheel.

• 30:40Speaker 00

  There was a big battle of the so-called French wars of religion. Uh, and we're going to be, should we play, we haven't placed any of this. Should we place the Saint Bartholomew's Day massacre, which is 1572?

• 30:52Speaker 01

  1572, right.

• 30:53Speaker 00

  1572. Um, let's say, uh, this is after, uh, Henry VIII.

• 31:00Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 31:01Speaker 00

  Uh.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  It was before Eating with Todd.

• 31:05Speaker 00

  Is he the modern day Henry VIII?

• 31:07Speaker 01

  Eating with Todd.

• 31:08Speaker 00

  Eating with Todd, yeah. So Henry VIII's just at court going.

• 31:14Speaker 01

  Pouring gravy on a fucking sandwich.

• 31:16Speaker 00

  It's interesting though, because he, he, he gets a lot of hate. Um, because, uh, he's a fat guy. He's a fat guy who just sort of like eats and the juices go all over his face. And he doesn't seem to care how disgusting it is.

• 31:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 31:30Speaker 00

  But then firstly, everyone needs to, everyone has a fat guy that they watch eat. Like you're lying, you're lying if you say you don't.

• 31:36Speaker 01

  You've got to have your guy.

• 31:37Speaker 00

  Everyone has a guy.

• 31:37Speaker 01

  He might not be your guy, but you've got someone.

• 31:39Speaker 00

  You've got someone, yeah. It's just different tastes, right? So everyone's got a fat guy they watch eat, okay? Um, he, uh, he also, you know, the first few videos I saw, I thought maybe he had Down syndrome.

• 31:50Speaker 01

  Right.

• 31:50Speaker 00

  So I kind of gave him more credit.

• 31:54Speaker 00

  I thought this is really nice.

• 31:58Speaker 00

  And then I realised he didn't, I thought, I actually, I do think you could eat in a better way.

• 32:01Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 32:02Speaker 00

  A cleaner way.

• 32:03Speaker 01

  Pull yourself together.

• 32:04Speaker 00

  Well, just, it's, it's so, you know, sometimes I'm in the mood for it.

• 32:07Speaker 01

  Is he not your fat guy? My fat guy is, is it Rate My Takeaway?

• 32:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, the northern guy.

• 32:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, go, my, my fat guy, because Todd, yeah, it's too slick, almost. Even though he's like, it's just too like, I feel like I'm being lied to. This guy, he sits outside a takeaway with his own setup.

• 32:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:27Speaker 01

  And it doesn't feel slick, he just has a table and then he gets brought a shit ton of food and he just piles his way through it.

• 32:33Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:34Speaker 01

  It's not quick edited.

• 32:35Speaker 00

  No.

• 32:36Speaker 01

  It's just a man.

• 32:37Speaker 00

  Test cricket.

• 32:38Speaker 01

  Working his way through.

• 32:41Speaker 00

  I'm a, I'm a, I'm a huge Big John.

• 32:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, look at this.

• 32:43Speaker 00

  I like Big John. Yeah, this is proper.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  Some of the ugliest streets in Britain.

• 32:46Speaker 00

  He's raining, he's on a trestle table eating three portions of fish and chips.

• 32:51Speaker 01

  This is my go-to fat guy, so shout out Rate My Takeaway, keep doing what you're doing.

• 32:55Speaker 00

  Now, Calvin.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  He built the first planet-wide media empire.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  He monetized the paranoia and resentment that led to Donald Trump and Brexit.

• 33:05Speaker 03

  He ruined his own family in his obsessive quest for money, power and legacy.

• 33:09Speaker 04

  This is the story of Rupert Murdoch, the real-life succession.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  Join me, Dorian Linsky.

• 33:15Speaker 04

  And me, Ian Dunst, for season 10 of Origin Story, the show that uses the past to explain the present.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  That's Origin Story, kicking off with a two-part special on Rupert Murdoch on all podcast platforms now.

• 33:30Speaker 00

  Calvin had, had sort of bequeathed these huguenos.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  Oof, bequeath, that's a nice, good word. It's too close to queef, isn't it?

• 33:37Speaker 00

  Bequeathed.

• 33:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 33:38Speaker 02

  What, I bequeefing?

• 33:40Speaker 00

  I be.

• 33:41Speaker 01

  I be, I bequeath him.

• 33:42Speaker 00

  Sorry, who, who just bequeathed?

• 33:43Speaker 01

  I bequeathing at my, my pussy.

• 33:45Speaker 00

  Who bequeathed in here? It smells fishy, who just bequeefing?

• 33:49Speaker 02

  Do queefs smell?

• 33:50Speaker 00

  Sorry?

• 33:51Speaker 02

  Do queefs don't smell?

• 33:53Speaker 00

  You're young.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, I mean, yeah.

• 33:54Speaker 00

  You're young, you're young.

• 34:00Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:01Speaker 01

  You're naive.

• 34:02Speaker 00

  You come back to me in six years and tell me queefed don't smell.

• 34:04Speaker 01

  When I was your age, I was saying queefed don't smell.

• 34:06Speaker 00

  Yeah. Come back to me in 10 years and tell me queefed don't smell. Yeah. Now, we need to talk about the Huguenots. That was my point. Calvin bequeathed some France's Huguenots.

• 34:19Speaker 01

  He queefed out some Huguenots.

• 34:20Speaker 00

  He queefed out some Huguenots. And between 1562 and 1598, there were these French wars of religion.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 34:27Speaker 00

  Now, the Huguenots are quite interesting. They're French Protestants.

• 34:30Speaker 01

  I think they're very interesting.

• 34:31Speaker 00

  Very interesting. Contradiction in turn.

• 34:33Speaker 01

  But then it's almost like the blend actually ends up being quite ineffective. Because wherever they go, they're sort of like Jewish people. Wherever they go, they're like a small community that's incredibly effective. Like, literally a minute from where I live, type in Prinsellet Street, all of the... I don't know if you've been around, like, East London with those preserved Georgian houses.

• 34:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Those are all Huguenot silk weavers.

• 34:55Speaker 00

  Right.

• 34:55Speaker 01

  Came to the area. It was a shitty area, but then basically made, brought all the silk weaving. So like, these crazy streets that are completely preserved are all Huguenot houses. Do you know South Africa, the Stellenbosch wine region?

• 35:06Speaker 00

  I do know the Stellenbosch one.

• 35:07Speaker 01

  That's all set up by the Huguenots.

• 35:09Speaker 00

  Stellenbosch.

• 35:12Speaker 00

  Yes. Now, the Huguenots were the first ever refugees.

• 35:16Speaker 01

  Interesting.

• 35:17Speaker 00

  That's where...

• 35:18Speaker 01

  But they weren't the first ever refugees. They're the first ever people to be called refugees, because it's a French word. I think your sort of Protestant view of the world.

• 35:26Speaker 00

  These are the first refugees?

• 35:27Speaker 01

  There has been a lot of war, a lot of displacement that has happened before that.

• 35:32Speaker 00

  Like I said, 1517...

• 35:33Speaker 01

  No one ever... Every time people have been persecuted, they've just been like, "Well, I'm just fucked. I'll just stay here."

• 35:38Speaker 00

  Yes, but it was only Protestants who came up with a fucking word for it, because they needed it. Right? Because they actually didn't stop fucking weeping, you know? They didn't sort of sit in self pity. They got on with it.

• 35:49Speaker 01

  Right.

• 35:50Speaker 00

  "Can you let us in? Who are you? We're refugees. Oh, I see where you are now."

• 35:53Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 35:54Speaker 00

  Right. So, it's a huge, it's like 30-year thing. And Calvinism had become very popular in France amongst the nobility.

• 36:03Speaker 01

  Right.

• 36:04Speaker 00

  And the Queen of Navarre became a Calvinist in 1560. I don't know who that is. If she's important, who cares?

• 36:13Speaker 01

  Not me.

• 36:14Speaker 00

  I don't care. Anyway, it sets off. The thing we need to get to is the Saint Bartholomew's Day massacre.

• 36:21Speaker 01

  Not on Saint Bartholomew's Day.

• 36:23Speaker 00

  I know. It's nothing sacred.

• 36:26Speaker 00

  This is a pivotal moment towards the end of the third religious war, there were nine.

• 36:30Speaker 01

  Bloody hell, bloody hell, it's like Fast and Furious films.

• 36:33Speaker 00

  In an attempt to secure the peace, a marriage was planned between the King Charles the Ninth's sister and the Queen of Navarre's son. Now, is the Queen of Navarre some Spanish woman? Right, fine.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  Who cares?

• 36:48Speaker 00

  So, who cares?

• 36:51Speaker 00

  So, the peace agreement also saw the return of Admiral Gaspar de Collony, who's a Huguenot, to the king's court.

• 36:59Speaker 01

  Right.

• 37:00Speaker 00

  So, they see this as a way to placate the Protestants and to try and stop the war. So, they hold this wedding in August 1572 in Paris, but it's a red wedding. It's a, "I'm a trap!"

• 37:11Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 37:11Speaker 00

  Yeah. You know Admiral Akbar?

• 37:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:14Speaker 00

  Is that his name?

• 37:14Speaker 01

  You got, you got.

• 37:16Speaker 00

  Is that his name? I just said that and I thought, is that his name?

• 37:18Speaker 01

  Eichan Akbar?

• 37:19Speaker 00

  He is, Admiral Eichan. "I'm a trap!"

• 37:22Speaker 00

  Anyway, so, a few days after the wedding, so what they do is all the Huguenot aristocracy leaders, they all come to Paris to attend the festivities.

• 37:29Speaker 01

  Bloody hell.

• 37:30Speaker 00

  Right? And then a few days after the wedding, Collony, the admiral, the admiral is shot from a window.

• 37:37Speaker 01

  So, it's not quite, it's not on the wedding day?

• 37:39Speaker 00

  No, but a wedding goes on for like, you know, it's a festival, right? So, the assassin escapes, so it's like a sort of, it's early JFK stuff, right? And the Huguenot leaders demand that the king tries to find the assassin, but many believe it's a red, it's a false flag and the plot had been organised by the king.

• 37:57Speaker 01

  Right.

• 37:58Speaker 00

  Right? And so, one Huguenot then threatens the king, or threatens to kill someone else, and the king basically are like, right, preemptive strike, lock the doors, lock the city gates, let's just fucking kill them all.

• 38:11Speaker 01

  Fucking trolley dash.

• 38:12Speaker 00

  Do you remember the Aztec night of, the sad night?

• 38:16Speaker 01

  The really sad night.

• 38:17Speaker 00

  Noche triste.

• 38:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:19Speaker 00

  The sad night.

• 38:19Speaker 01

  I remember Noche triste, yeah.

• 38:21Speaker 00

  They, they just butcher everyone.

• 38:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:24Speaker 00

  That's a similar thing that happens in Paris. So, on the 24th of August, kill squads are formed and they kill Collony, the duke, at around 4am, and his body is left on the street and it's mutilated by Parisians before being thrown into the Seine.

• 38:42Speaker 01

  They're probably fucking trying to make foie gras out of it.

• 38:44Speaker 00

  Probably. 10,000 Huguenots are killed in Paris. Now that's the upper estimate, but it's one I'm leading with.

• 38:49Speaker 01

  You're leading, yeah.

• 38:50Speaker 00

  I'm ignoring 2010.

• 38:51Speaker 01

  Can you ever look at what huguenos look like? Like a French Protestant, how are they swagging it out?

• 38:56Speaker 00

  Are they just eating cheddar?

• 38:57Speaker 01

  What's the drip saying?

• 38:58Speaker 00

  Colin's head is sent to the Pope.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  The gay?

• 39:01Speaker 00

  Is that, is that a hugueno? He's in denim cutoffs. But that's the problem is it's French Protestant, so.

• 39:08Speaker 01

  There's still an element.

• 39:09Speaker 00

  There's still an element, there's an element of gay.

• 39:11Speaker 01

  But what's the coming, the look?

• 39:13Speaker 00

  That looks like me in denim cutoff.

• 39:16Speaker 01

  That does sort of look like you. It looks like an old, this looks like you in 20 years when you finally accepted your sexuality. This is when you've, you've said, I've been living a lie.

• 39:29Speaker 01

  All of this sort of like super straight Protestant guy, it's been a, it's been me projecting. I'm gay. That's, it looks exactly like an old gay silver fox fin.

• 39:39Speaker 00

  That's me going to Charlie's 50s.

• 39:42Speaker 01

  But now are you trying to fit in?

• 39:44Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'm trying to fit in. I've had 20 years ago to your party where I'm like, where's everyone?

• 39:48Speaker 01

  You know what, this time I'm gonna re.

• 39:49Speaker 00

  I'm gonna try and go, hi, happy birthday.

• 39:55Speaker 00

  Yeah, if you're not, if you're just listening, we're looking at, so this is Henry IV, who is the French hugueno who ends up, I think, winning the world of religion. He is dressed, I mean.

• 40:05Speaker 02

  He looks great.

• 40:06Speaker 00

  He looks like Papa Pig and Bernard, he's got a bear's fur on, doesn't he? He's got little denim cutoffs, he's got a little bit of, he's got a camp look in his eye.

• 40:15Speaker 00

  Oh, he's always wearing silk briefs, actually.

• 40:18Speaker 02

  And he's got a little cutlass.

• 40:19Speaker 00

  Yeah, got a little sword.

• 40:22Speaker 00

  So anyway, they, they basically butcher all these Protestants in Paris. I mean, you know, I'm starting to understand why I just don't, something in the air in Paris makes me feel at ease. It's, you know, it's my Auschwitz.

• 40:37Speaker 00

  You know?

• 40:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 40:38Speaker 00

  Why is everyone laughing and drinking and having a look?

• 40:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is, this is a sign of a horrible.

• 40:42Speaker 00

  This is a holy, this is a horrible, horrible place. Um, it's the violence spreads outside of Paris. He basically sets off a train of reprisal killings. 10,000 dead across the country, uh, 200,000 flee France.

• 40:56Speaker 01

  This is an interesting side note. The Saar, Ivan the Terrible sent a letter to the king expressing his horror of the violence.

• 41:01Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 41:02Speaker 01

  So you know you're doing something.

• 41:03Speaker 00

  If a guy called The Terrible is going chill out.

• 41:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. And The Terrible was the guy who, who enjoyed putting people in a house and then blowing the house up.

• 41:12Speaker 00

  Oh, that's quite.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  It's just quite fun. There's lots of different ways to fucking skin a chicken, isn't there?

• 41:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Skin a fucking rabbit, but that's quite a fun way. You go in that house over there. We won't do anything.

• 41:22Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:22Speaker 01

  Just kidding. House gone. You gone with it.

• 41:25Speaker 00

  But all the Huguenots then settling like South Africa, Ireland.

• 41:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:29Speaker 00

  And they're one of the most successful immigrant, but they're like Giganten Asians.

• 41:33Speaker 01

  Yes, they are, yeah.

• 41:34Speaker 00

  Who's the Huguenot pretty Patel?

• 41:36Speaker 01

  Right.

• 41:36Speaker 00

  Can we have a look? Who's the most attractive Huguenot?

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, so like Huguenot immigrant success stories.

• 41:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:41Speaker 01

  Pierre Nivelli?

• 41:41Speaker 00

  Pierre Nivelli?

• 41:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:43Speaker 02

  Famous Huguenots today?

• 41:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, sure.

• 41:46Speaker 00

  See what happens.

• 41:46Speaker 02

  Nigel Farage?

• 41:47Speaker 00

  You joking?

• 41:48Speaker 01

  No way.

• 41:49Speaker 00

  You joking? Nigel Farage has got Huguenot ancestry.

• 41:54Speaker 01

  He's a fucking, he's a European immigrant.

• 41:57Speaker 00

  Farage is of Huguenot origin.

• 41:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's why the fucking name Farage.

• 42:01Speaker 00

  Simon Le Bon. Fucking hell.

• 42:05Speaker 02

  Warren Buffett?

• 42:06Speaker 00

  Charlie Theron. Nigel Farage has got Huguenot ancestry.

• 42:12Speaker 01

  Howard Hughes, the fucking aviator.

• 42:14Speaker 00

  So, but this is very, this.

• 42:15Speaker 01

  Jessica Chastain, damn.

• 42:17Speaker 00

  Very interesting though, is that you imagine, imagine Farage living in France. It doesn't make sense.

• 42:24Speaker 01

  He had to fight.

• 42:25Speaker 00

  He had to fight his way out. This is Farage's origin story.

• 42:30Speaker 00

  He, his ancestors fled France.

• 42:32Speaker 01

  Can we see Farage's Huguenot links? Can you just type it in? Let's just get a bit more of that.

• 42:36Speaker 00

  Doesn't this make so much sense? Like, this is, you know, Protestant, Protestant mass, Protestant.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  The only thing they agree on is smoking. That's the only thing he has.

• 42:44Speaker 00

  His ancestry includes French Huguenots, Protestant refugees who fled persecution in France, southern England.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  Crossed the channel to Kent.

• 42:51Speaker 00

  His great grandfather's parents were German. I mean, his wife's German, isn't she?

• 42:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:54Speaker 00

  But that's, isn't that amazing that it's almost like his destiny?

• 42:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:57Speaker 00

  Is to strike back.

• 43:00Speaker 00

  At France.

• 43:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.

• 43:03Speaker 00

  Makes so much sense. I mean, a therapist would have a field day with this, you know? So the St Bart's, I think it's the worst massacre in France.

• 43:13Speaker 01

  Right.

• 43:14Speaker 00

  So Admiral Colony, that Huguenot, thrown from a window, decapitated. He's defenestrated, decapitated, castrated, and then dragged through the streets by a mob.

• 43:23Speaker 01

  Depends which order. You want the decapitated to be first.

• 43:28Speaker 00

  Yes. Yeah, you don't want to, you don't be awake for defenestration.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, orchestration. I think the worst order of that is castrated, defenestrated, then decapitated.

• 43:38Speaker 00

  It's like Henry the X's wife. Castrated, defenestrated, decapitated.

• 43:45Speaker 00

  Pregnant women were disemboweled.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  You shouldn't be doing that.

• 43:49Speaker 00

  No, no, thanks.

• 43:50Speaker 01

  Caesarian.

• 43:51Speaker 00

  Children participated in torturing Protestants. Apparently, the river Seine ran so red with blood that Rouen, the city down the road, they couldn't, they all got water poisoning because they couldn't drink water.

• 44:01Speaker 01

  Oh, damn.

• 44:02Speaker 00

  They all died of thirst because they couldn't drink the water because it was all full of Protestant blood.

• 44:07Speaker 01

  Damn.

• 44:09Speaker 00

  There was the displayed bodies, neighbours, you know, neighbours started just killing Protestants they found them. It's very, very sad.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  It's the saddest thing I've ever heard in my life.

• 44:19Speaker 00

  It's the saddest thing on the podcast that we've dealt with so far.

• 44:21Speaker 01

  You know, we like to have a laugh.

• 44:22Speaker 00

  Some things aren't funny. Some things are not funny. Why are you laughing?

• 44:27Speaker 01

  I think it's important not to make light of serious things for the sake of comedy.

• 44:31Speaker 00

  No, yeah.

• 44:31Speaker 01

  We can all have a laugh, but some things are just, are just sad and affect people's lives today.

• 44:37Speaker 00

  We should put a trigger warning at the start of this episode because it's a really sad one, okay? I didn't know, I didn't know about this and I cried several times for searching this.

• 44:45Speaker 01

  I can imagine. That's been really hard for you.

• 44:47Speaker 00

  Yeah, I did. It was hard.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  And, you know, it's part of your lived experience as well.

• 44:50Speaker 00

  And I will be, we will be taking a break for the podcast while I go on a pilgrimage to Huguenot areas of France. And I will be putting Instagram photos of me touching walls, crying.

• 45:02Speaker 00

  Kissing the turf.

• 45:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:04Speaker 00

  Anyway, so by the late 1590s, France is fucking knackered because it's just been this-

• 45:11Speaker 01

  They've really gone for it.

• 45:12Speaker 00

  They've gone for it, there's constant wars. And then there's a, I think there's a power struggle between three King Henrys, or three Henrys. Two of them kill each other and then Henry IV, the guy in denim cutoffs.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 00

  He, he basically is the last man standing and he is Huguenot, but he converts to Catholicism in order to basically sacrifice his religious beliefs for the sake of the country.

• 45:35Speaker 01

  Oh, interesting.

• 45:36Speaker 00

  And he issues the Edict of Nantes, not the Edict of Nantes.

• 45:40Speaker 01

  It sounds like the Edict of Nantes.

• 45:41Speaker 00

  No, that's our thing. That's the other word for the Operation Utri.

• 45:44Speaker 01

  Right.

• 45:44Speaker 00

  That was the conclusion to the Operation Utri was the Edict of Nantes. Right. Anyway, the Edict of Nantes, 1598, which is a revolutionary document because it legalises two different religions in one state, which had been done before, but not in a state that was as intensely Catholic as France.

• 46:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:03Speaker 00

  So this is kind of-

• 46:04Speaker 01

  So it's not religious freedom, but it's two different-

• 46:06Speaker 00

  Tolerance. Religious tolerance.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  Right.

• 46:09Speaker 00

  And so he's Huguenot, but he sort of sacrificed himself and Catholicism is the state religion, but Protestants allowed the right to worship. And this is basically-

• 46:19Speaker 01

  What percentage of modern France is Protestant now?

• 46:21Speaker 00

  It's got to be minimal, minimal. I mean, the reason why Spain is as it is, is that they basically wiped all the Protestants out. And in Italy as well. They just, they clamped down too hard.

• 46:32Speaker 01

  Oh, very small.

• 46:33Speaker 00

  Two percent. Yeah, exactly.

• 46:37Speaker 00

  But this is actually quite interesting, the Edict of Nantes, because this is when you start to get the idea that the state unity is more important than religious uniformity.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, the state's more important than the religion. Right.

• 46:54Speaker 00

  Yeah, so this is the, this is the-

• 46:55Speaker 01

  It's quite a Protestant idea.

• 46:56Speaker 00

  Yes, it is. But this is where you, you know, there's been so much, so many wars for nearly 100 years and they are, they will continue to 1648. But this is where you start to get the sense of like, should we just chill out about the god thing?

• 47:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:09Speaker 00

  And maybe, maybe we're more French than we are anything else.

• 47:12Speaker 01

  Maybe we just, we all band together and say, who the fuck are those German pigs?

• 47:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:15Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:16Speaker 00

  Hey, none of us wash.

• 47:17Speaker 01

  Yeah, exactly.

• 47:18Speaker 00

  What are we doing fighting?

• 47:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:20Speaker 00

  And so because 1648 is the birth of the, sort of the start of the idea of the nation state.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  Right, right.

• 47:25Speaker 00

  But this is when that starts to initiate.

• 47:29Speaker 01

  And then does this lead to Thirty Years' War?

• 47:31Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  Which we were playing an episode on, but it was actually too impenetrable.

• 47:35Speaker 00

  It's insane. The Thirty Years' War.

• 47:36Speaker 01

  We don't know anyone involved, but it seems to be the biggest thing happened that we don't know anything about.

• 47:41Speaker 00

  It's the Thirty Years' War for like, Central Europeans is as important to them as like, we would learn about the English Civil War. That's our version of it.

• 47:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 47:48Speaker 00

  But the Thirty Years' War, very quickly, we'll do it, we'll do a series on it at some point. Thirty Years' War, sixteen eighteen, the third defenestration of Prague.

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 47:56Speaker 00

  Okay, leads to a series of rolling conflicts. There's like a Spanish phase, there's a Dutch phase, there's a Swedish phase, a Danish phase.

• 48:06Speaker 01

  It's like, it's Glastonbury, there's just different tents with different things going, there's constantly.

• 48:09Speaker 00

  The Swedish are run by a guy called Adolphus.

• 48:12Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:12Speaker 00

  Who's like insane.

• 48:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:14Speaker 00

  And.

• 48:15Speaker 01

  This went Sweden, one of the, the second time in history that Sweden went full base mode.

• 48:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 48:19Speaker 01

  And then never again.

• 48:21Speaker 00

  Never again.

• 48:21Speaker 01

  Never again.

• 48:22Speaker 00

  And then, and then you have, basically, maybe twenty percent of the population of Germany die in the conflict.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  Right.

• 48:28Speaker 00

  And it's, takes them a hundred years, maybe more than that, to recover.

• 48:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 48:32Speaker 00

  But the peace of Westphalia sixteen forty eight, basically settles the Protestant-Catholic issue in that every state is allowed to choose.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  Choose, right.

• 48:42Speaker 00

  What they want to follow.

• 48:43Speaker 01

  Right.

• 48:44Speaker 00

  Charlie.

• 48:44Speaker 02

  So what actually, why is it called the Reformation? What actually got reformed?

• 48:48Speaker 00

  The Church.

• 48:49Speaker 02

  In what way?

• 48:51Speaker 00

  I feel like we've, we've, we've quite comprehensively dealt with.

• 48:55Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's kind of the main thing that we talked about.

• 48:57Speaker 00

  Yeah. What, what, what do you think happened?

• 49:00Speaker 02

  Uh, I, I honestly don't know.

• 49:05Speaker 01

  Do you know the difference between Catholics and Protestants?

• 49:07Speaker 02

  Uh, the Catholics are a bit more serious, but the Protestants are more boring.

• 49:11Speaker 01

  Hmm, I don't think so.

• 49:13Speaker 00

  What have you?

• 49:14Speaker 02

  They like chains, Catholics like jewellery.

• 49:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 49:16Speaker 02

  Protestants like cricket.

• 49:18Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:19Speaker 01

  Yeah, sort of, it's more English than Protestant, but.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Uh, and the Catholics are more emotional, the Protestants are more repressed.

• 49:26Speaker 00

  Yes, yeah, that's true.

• 49:27Speaker 02

  But I don't really know.

• 49:28Speaker 00

  I feel like we dealt with this in sort of first five minutes of episode one of this series.

• 49:31Speaker 01

  And we, we've mentioned it regularly throughout.

• 49:33Speaker 02

  What actually got reformed then? To what, from what to what, Catholic to Protestant?

• 49:36Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 49:37Speaker 02

  Because of-

• 49:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Catholic Church didn't really exist. It was more, there was reformation made to the church. Some people thought, "We don't need these reformations." Some people thought we did, and then they came up with Catholics and Protestants to represent that.

• 49:48Speaker 02

  So what was happening before that?

• 49:49Speaker 01

  It was just the Western Church.

• 49:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, it was just the church, just Christianity.

• 49:53Speaker 02

  And has there been any more reformations?

• 49:56Speaker 00

  Well, yes, there's several.

• 49:58Speaker 01

  Protestantism can now break off into loads of different leagues.

• 50:00Speaker 00

  You know, we talked about Calvinism.

• 50:01Speaker 02

  Pro-Ditaria.

• 50:03Speaker 00

  No, that's, no, that's the wrong word. That's a different thing.

• 50:05Speaker 02

  Pescatarian.

• 50:06Speaker 00

  Ignore, no, no, Pescatarian's not a church.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  Pro-Ditaria is a kind of communist idea of the white class.

• 50:10Speaker 00

  Pescatarian's not involved in this story, no.

• 50:12Speaker 02

  Well, they are, probably, without knowing.

• 50:14Speaker 00

  Accidental, irrelevant.

• 50:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:16Speaker 00

  Coincidence.

• 50:16Speaker 01

  Incidental.

• 50:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, incidental, yeah, thank you.

• 50:19Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 50:20Speaker 00

  There's no unified church of Pescatarianism.

• 50:23Speaker 01

  We did say before this episode, actually, Charlie, if you want to ask some questions, it'd be quite helpful because this, it's a bit more of a chewy topic.

• 50:29Speaker 00

  Yes, we said, if you've got any questions about the topic, rather than just showing-

• 50:32Speaker 01

  It couldn't kind of help because we're also trying to work our way through it.

• 50:34Speaker 00

  Yeah, go on.

• 50:35Speaker 02

  What was reformed? What's the reformation?

• 50:36Speaker 00

  Well, we, yeah.

• 50:37Speaker 01

  We just answered it then.

• 50:38Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 50:39Speaker 02

  Okay. Well, thank God it's over.

• 50:44Speaker 00

  Do you mean the reformation or do you mean this series?

• 50:46Speaker 02

  All, all of it.

• 50:47Speaker 00

  Yeah. Well, I think, I think, you know, if we're going to give you any feedback.

• 50:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 50:51Speaker 00

  It's that, you know, maybe spending less time finding images of men swallowing poo in condoms.

• 51:01Speaker 00

  And actually sort of maybe engaging with the history.

• 51:03Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 51:04Speaker 00

  Could you get, I will, I will say, to get to four, end of four, the fourth hour, and for you to say, "What got reformed?", is quite deflating.

• 51:13Speaker 02

  Well, I'm your audience.

• 51:14Speaker 00

  Well, that's why, that's why-

• 51:14Speaker 01

  I don't know if you are.

• 51:15Speaker 00

  I don't think you are. But you are, you know, it's a reminder to never leave a man behind, isn't it?

• 51:20Speaker 01

  You're the nearest us.

• 51:21Speaker 00

  You've got, you, you're, yeah.

• 51:23Speaker 01

  I don't know if you're an audience.

• 51:24Speaker 00

  You're not an audience, but-

• 51:24Speaker 01

  You're just geographically the nearest to us while we're doing this.

• 51:27Speaker 00

  But it is a reminder that you can only go as fast as your slowest member of society, right? And I, I guess it's quite deflating to think that we got to the end of this and there would be a list of going, so what, what is the reformation?

• 51:40Speaker 00

  Because I feel like, I feel like we actually engaged with it.

• 51:42Speaker 01

  Who's Martin Luther?

• 51:44Speaker 02

  Uh, I have a poo. I have a poo. I honestly think I've learnt the least in this one.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  Okay, good. Well, that's a great way to end the series.

• 51:52Speaker 00

  Yeah, now, so that's been the reformation. Or has it? I don't know. Let us know if you, um.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  If you have no idea.

• 51:59Speaker 00

  If you have no idea. I feel like we engaged with it quite a lot. I think it's very interesting.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  We discussed some pretty interesting ideas.

• 52:03Speaker 00

  To see, you know, who, I think it explains so much of culture.

• 52:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, your own psychology, family history.

• 52:10Speaker 00

  Explains my prejudices entirely. It can also be mapped on to what I think about most places in the world. How far the reformation has spread.

• 52:16Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. I don't think it takes an expert though to read between the lines with your, I don't think it's like.

• 52:20Speaker 00

  There's no reading between the lines. That's what I'm saying. It's tracing over something.

• 52:24Speaker 01

  It's getting rid of reading between the lines.

• 52:26Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  Read what's on the line.

• 52:27Speaker 00

  Read, I don't like them because they're Catholic. It's tracing over, over a racist slur that I've written. Anyway, if you'd like more, we'll be dealing with the Amish on the Patreon.

• 52:39Speaker 01

  Which is more interesting than I thought it would be, actually.

• 52:41Speaker 00

  It is very interesting. Uh, that's Anabaptists. Um, and we also, uh, I think tomorrow on the Patreon, we are releasing our live special. The JFK assassination, recorded at the Hangman Empire last year.

• 52:55Speaker 01

  It was at the end of a eight, nine day tour?

• 52:57Speaker 00

  Nine day tour. Uh, some great stuff in there. It's like an hour and a half special. That's for sale. If you don't want to join the Patreon, uh, you can just buy it as a one-off.

• 53:07Speaker 01

  Damn. How much?

• 53:09Speaker 00

  I don't know yet. I haven't decided.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  A few quid.

• 53:11Speaker 00

  Just, it'll be more expensive than signing up to the Patreon.

• 53:13Speaker 01

  Sure.

• 53:14Speaker 02

  But less expensive than like a curry or?

• 53:16Speaker 00

  Yeah, less expensive than a curry. Yeah, yeah. Thank you.

• 53:19Speaker 02

  To place this.

• 53:20Speaker 00

  To place this, it'll be more than three pounds a month. It will be less than the price of a curry.

• 53:24Speaker 01

  It won't be, it won't be less expensive than the, the street food curries where they chop chicken with their toenails.

• 53:31Speaker 00

  It will not give you the same effect as a, an unlicensed street vendor in, in Bombay.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 53:37Speaker 00

  Okay. If it does, I'm not taking no responsibility. I can't say what you've eaten when you're watching this.

• 53:42Speaker 01

  To be fair, when we made, when we edited this special, we didn't wash our hands.

• 53:45Speaker 00

  No, that is true. And I did use my feet for some of it. Anyway, that's on the Patreon. And we'll see you next week for a brand new topic from all of us here at Finvers History. Goodbye.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Goodbye.