Your Spending Doesn’t Match Your Values—Here’s How to Fix It

Have you ever looked at your bank statement and wondered where your money actually went? Not in a dramatic, “I’m terrible with money” way—but in a quiet, uncomfortable way. The kind where you realize your spending doesn’t quite reflect what you say matters most to you. You say you value freedom, connection, growth, or security. But your transactions tell a different story—subscriptions you forgot about, convenience spending that adds up, and impulse purchases that slowly crowd out the things you truly care about. And that gap between your values and your spending? It’s not just costing you money. It’s costing you progress toward the life you actually want. In this episode, Shari Rash, founder of GWA Wealth, walks you through a simple but powerful framework to identify your core values, audit your spending, and make strategic shifts so your money starts working in alignment with your priorities. You’ll learn how to categorize your spending into aligned, neutral, and misaligned purchases, why restriction rarely works, and how small changes—like values-based spending buckets, a wait-to-buy rule, and automated transfers—can create clarity and confidence with your money. This isn’t about budgeting harder or cutting everything out. It’s about spending with intention. You’ll walk away with a clearer understanding of what matters most to you, how your current spending patterns support—or sabotage—those priorities, and practical steps to make your money feel more purposeful and aligned. If you’re ready to turn these ideas into action and build systems that make your money easier to manage, join the Everyone’s Talkin’ Money Club. It’s where we take these conversations deeper with live support, practical tools, and a community of women working toward the same goals. You can learn more and join us at everyonestalkinmoneypodcast.com. If you’re ready for personalized, judgment-free financial guidance, learn more about working with Shari. Shari Rash is the founder of GWA Wealth, a virtual advisory firm helping women make confident, values-aligned decisions with their money. Visit GWA Wealth to explore your next step. Talkin’ Points → where your money gets smarter. Real talk, practical tips, zero guilt straight to your inbox. Sign up here. Be sure to like and follow the show on your favorite podcast app! Keep the conversation going on Instagram @everyonestalkinmoney Shari Rash is a financial planner and Investment Adviser Representative of GWA Wealth, a Registered Investment Adviser. The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as personalized investment, tax, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create an advisory relationship with Shari Rash or GWA Wealth. All investments involve risk, including the potential loss of principal. Any references to specific investments, strategies, or securities are for illustrative purposes only and are not recommendations. You should consult your own financial advisor, tax professional, or attorney regarding your individual situation before making any financial decisions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  Before we dive in, if you're tired of listening to money advice and still feeling stuck on what to do next, the ETM Club is where we turn information into implementation. Inside the club, we walk you through your numbers, build your systems and make decisions together so you're not guessing with your money anymore. You can join us through the link in the show notes. Welcome back to the show. I'm your host, Shari Rash. And before we dive in today, I need you to do something that might make you a little uncomfortable. I want you to pull out your phone right now. Open your banking app or your credit card statement. I'll wait.

• 2:12Speaker 03

  Look at your spending from the last 30 days and I want you to really look at it. Now here's my question for you. When you scan through those transactions, does your spending actually reflect what you say matters most to you? Or does it tell a completely different story? Because here's what I see happening all the time. You tell me, or maybe you tell yourself, that freedom is everything to you, that travel lights you up, that experiences matter more than things. But then I look at where your money is actually going and it's $47 here for another subscription you forgot about, $23 there for same day delivery on something you could have waited

• 2:55Speaker 03

  for, and $156 on that trendy skincare routine everyone's talking about on TikTok. And listen, I'm not judging. I've been there. We've all been there. But here's what I've learned after working with hundreds of high achieving women. There's a massive gap between what we say we value and where we put our actual money. And that gap, it's costing you more than just cash. It's costing you the life you actually want to live. So today, we are closing that gap. We're going to identify what you truly value, audit whether your spending reflects those values, and then make some strategic shifts that will have you feeling more aligned and

• 3:40Speaker 03

  intentional with every dollar you spend. This isn't about budgeting harder or restricting yourself more. This is about getting crystal clear on what matters to you and then letting your money become a powerful tool to create that life. Ready? Let's do it. So let's start with the foundation, your values. And before you roll your eyes and think that this sounds too touchy feely, stick with me here, because here's the thing. Your values are literally your financial GPS. Without them, your spending becomes completely reactive. You're just responding to whatever marketing message hits your inbox, whatever your friend

• 4:24Speaker 03

  posted on Instagram, and whatever mood you're in on a Tuesday afternoon.

• 4:30Speaker 03

  But when you're clear on your values, every spending decision becomes intentional. Every dollar has a purpose. And suddenly, you're not just managing money, you're using money to build the exact life you want. Now, I work with a lot of successful women, women who are crushing it in their careers, making great money, often the first in their families to reach this level of success. And what I've noticed is that there are five core values that tend to show up again and again. Let me walk you through them, and I want you to really think about which ones resonate with you. The first is freedom. This is about autonomy, options,

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  not being tied to a paycheck forever. It's the value that says, I want to be able to make choices without money being the deciding factor. Maybe it's the freedom to take a sabbatical, to switch careers, to say no to projects that don't light you up. Freedom often looks like building wealth, having multiple income streams, or just knowing you have options. The second is security. This is your safety net. It's that deep, peaceful feeling of knowing you're going to be okay no matter what happens. Security might mean having six months of expenses saved, maxing out your retirement accounts, having excellent insurance, or owning property.

• 6:00Speaker 03

  It's about sleeping well at night because you know you're prepared. The third is connection. This is about investing in relationships and experiences. It's the value that prioritizes spending time with people you love, creating memories, building community. Connection might look like hosting dinner parties, taking trips with friends, investing in coaching or therapy, or supporting causes you care about. The fourth is growth. This is a personal and professional development, wealth building, constantly becoming a better version of yourself. Growth might mean hiring a business coach,

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  taking courses, attending conferences, reading books, or investing in assets that appreciate over time. It's the value that says, I'm not done becoming who I'm meant to be. And the fifth is joy. This is about spending on things that actually light you up, not just what's trendy or what everyone else is doing. Joy is deeply personal. It might be art classes, really good coffee, beautiful clothes, concerts, or whatever makes your soul sing. Now here's your exercise, and I want you to actually do this. Don't just listen passively to this episode.

• 7:26Speaker 03

  Grab a piece of paper or open the notes app on your phone. Write down these five values: freedom, security, connection, growth, and joy. Or if none of these feel right, write down what your values actually are. Take a minute and really think about it.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Got them? Good. Now here's the hard part. Rank them. Put them in order of what matters most to you right now in this season of your life. I know it's tough. They're all important, but you have to choose. And circle your top two.

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  Now here's the million dollar question, literally. If a stranger audited your credit card statement from the last three months, would they be able to guess these top two values? Would they look at where your money goes and says, oh, yeah, this person clearly values growth and freedom? Or would they be completely confused? Keep those values in mind as we move to part two, because we're about to find out.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  This is where things get real. We're going to audit your spending. And I promise, this isn't going to be one of those painful exercises where you categorize every single coffee purchase. This is simpler and way more powerful. Here's what I want you to do. Pull up the last 30 to 60 days of your transactions. You can use your banking app, your credit card statements, whatever. I want you to scan through and mentally sort your spending into three categories. Category one, aligned. These are purchases that clearly support your values. If growth is one of your top values and you spent $200 on a professional development course, that's aligned.

• 9:23Speaker 03

  If freedom is your value and you put $500 into your investment account, that's aligned. Category two is neutral. This is the stuff you have to buy anyway. Groceries, utilities, rent or mortgage, basic necessities. These purchases aren't necessarily values driven, they're just life. Category three, misaligned. And this is a big one. This one's telling.

• 9:52Speaker 03

  These are purchases that don't support your values at all. They're habit purchases, impulse purchases, or purchases you made because you were bored, stressed, or influenced by someone else. Let me give you some examples that I see all the time. Let's say your top values are freedom and connection. You tell everyone that travel is a priority, that experiences matter more than things, that you want to build wealth so you can retire early. But then I look at your spending and here's what I see. $200 on subscription boxes you don't even open anymore. $150 on same-day delivery charges because you couldn't wait those two extra days.

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  $300 on impulse purchases during late-night Instagram scrolling.

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  $400 on a designer bag that you bought because it was on sale, not because you loved it. Meanwhile, your travel fund is empty. Your investment account is getting the bare minimum. Your friend's birthday dinner that you said you couldn't afford, you ended up skipping it. You see the disconnect? You're spending money, but it's not supporting what you say matters most to you. Or here's another example. Let's say security and growth are your top values. You want to build wealth. You want that safety net. But most of your discretionary spending goes to convenience. Meal delivery every night. Expensive coffee shop visits. Upgrading your phone every year, even though your current one works fine.

• 11:26Speaker 03

  Again, nothing wrong with any of these purchases individually, but when they're not aligned with your values, they're essentially taking money away from what you actually want to build. So as you're looking at your spending, I want you to ask yourself three gut check questions for each significant purchase. Question one. Do I feel energized or regretful after this purchase? The aligned purchases usually make you feel good long after you've made them. The misaligned ones? You forget about them, or you feel a little icky when you see them on your statement? Question number two. Was this money spent intentionally or out of habit?

• 12:11Speaker 03

  Intentional spending serves your values. Habit spending serves, well, just your habits. You're used to it. You're used to that spending. Question three. Is this moving me closer to or further away from what I say I want? Every dollar you spend is either an investment in your values or a distraction from them. Now, I know this might be uncomfortable. You might be realizing that a lot of your spending is in that misaligned category. And that's okay. Actually, it's more than okay. It's useful information because now you know where the opportunities are. The goal here isn't to shame you for your past purchases.

• 12:55Speaker 03

  The goal is to get clear on where your money is actually going. So you can make different choices moving forward. Because here's what I've learned. You can't manage what you don't measure. And you can't align what you're not aware of. So take a few minutes after this episode and really look at your spending through this lens. Don't judge it, just observe it. Notice the patterns. Notice the gaps between what you say you value and where your money actually goes. And then let's talk about how to close those gaps.

• 13:31Speaker 00

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• 13:57Speaker 03

  Okay, so you've identified your values and you're looking at your spending. And maybe your your values don't really align. And and some in a big way. The question is now, what do you do about it? The good news is that aligning your spending with your values doesn't require a complete financial overhaul. It requires strategic shifts. And I want to be really clear about this. We're not talking about restriction. We're talking about redirection.

• 14:33Speaker 03

  Here's the key principle: Replace, don't just restrict. If you identify spending that's misaligned with your values, don't just cut it out and leave a void. Replace it with spending that supports what you actually want. For example, if connection is one of your core values, but you realize you're spending $200 a month on random online purchases when you're bored, don't just stop shopping. Replace that $200 with connection-based spending. Plan a weekend trip with friends. Host a dinner party. Take a cooking class. Hire a therapist. Invest in a mastermind group. See the difference? You're still spending the money,

• 15:18Speaker 03

  but now it's serving your values instead of just filling time. Let me give you three specific strategies that work really well for high-achieving women. Strategy number one: Values-Based Budget Buckets. This is where you take your discretionary spending, the money left over after your necessities and savings, and you allocate it based on your values. So if your top values are freedom and growth, maybe 40% of your discretionary spending goes to your freedom bucket. That could be investments, emergency fund, or anything that builds your financial independence. Maybe 30% goes to your growth bucket:

• 16:02Speaker 03

  courses, coaching, books, conferences. And the remaining 30% can go to joy, connection, whatever else matters to you. The exact percentages don't matter. What matters is that you're being intentional about how you allocate your discretionary income instead of just spending it randomly.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  Strategy number two, the wait to buy rule. This is simple, but powerful. Before making any non-essential purchase, ask yourself, which of my values does this support? If you can't clearly connect it to one of your top values, wait 48 hours before buying it. You'll be amazed how many purchases you don't end up making. And the ones you do make, they'll feel so much more intentional and satisfying. Strategy number three, automate your values. This is probably my favorite strategy because it removes decision fatigue from the equation. If growth is one of your values,

• 17:07Speaker 03

  set up automatic transfers into an investment account or professional development fund. If freedom is your value, automate transfers to your emergency fund or the screw you fund. That's what I call the money that gives you the freedom to make bold choices. When your values are automated, you're not relying on willpower or remembering to prioritize them. They happen without you having to think about it. But here's the biggest shift I want you to make, and it's a mindset shift. Stop asking, can I afford it? And start asking, does this reflect my values? Because here's the thing. If you're listening to this show, you can probably afford a lot of things.

• 17:52Speaker 03

  The question isn't whether if you can afford it. The question is whether is it worth it? And the only way to determine if something is worth it is to know what you're trying to build. Let me tell you what this looks like in practice. Let's say you're scrolling Instagram and you see an ad for a course that looks interesting. Instead of immediately thinking, I can afford this, so why not? You pause and ask, does this support my growth value? Is this the best way for me to invest in growth right now? Or am I just buying this because I'm procrastinating on something else? Or if you're out with friends and someone suggests an expensive dinner that's not in your usual budget,

• 18:38Speaker 03

  instead of automatically saying yes, because you don't want to look cheap, you pause and ask, does this support my connection value? Is spending time with these people important to me? And if so, is this the best way to invest in that connection? Sometimes the answer will be yes, absolutely. This supports my values and it's worth it. Sometimes the answer will be no. This is just impulse or social pressure. And sometimes the answer will be yes, this supports my values, but there's a better way to do it.

• 19:16Speaker 03

  All of these answers are valid. What matters is that you're making conscious choices instead of unconscious ones. And here's what I want you to remember. Aligning your spending with your values isn't about perfection. You're not going to get this right 100% of the time. And that's totally fine. The goal is progress, not perfection. The goal is living with more intention and integrity. You'll still make purchases that aren't perfectly aligned with your values. You'll still buy things impulsively sometimes. You'll still spend money on convenience or comfort or just because you want to, and that's human.

• 20:00Speaker 03

  But when most of your spending supports what you actually value, when your money is flowing toward the life you want to build, you'll feel so much more aligned and intentional. You'll feel like your money is working for you instead of just disappearing into the void. If you're listening to this and thinking, okay, but how do I actually apply this to my own life? That's exactly what the ETM Club is for. It's the space where we take these conversations deeper with live group calls, podcast resources, and real time support. So you're not trying to figure this out on your own. You can learn more and join us inside the Everyone's Talkin Money Club by following the link in your show notes.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  All right, let's wrap this up. Here's what we covered today. First, we talked about identifying your values, those core principles that should guide your spending decisions. Whether it's freedom, security, connection, growth, joy, or something else entirely, you need to know what matters most to you in the season of life. Second, we audited your spending to see whether it actually reflects those values. We looked at aligned purchases, neutral purchases, and misaligned purchases. And if you discovered some gaps, that's not a reason for shame. That's useful information. Third, we talked about making strategic shifts to close those gaps,

• 21:29Speaker 03

  values-based budget buckets, the wait-to-buy rule, automating your values, and most importantly, changing your question from "can I afford it?" to "does this reflect my values?" Here's what I want you to remember. You've worked hard for your money. You deserve to have it support the life you actually want to live. And when your spending is aligned with your values, money becomes so much more than just a way to buy things. It becomes a tool for creating freedom, security, connection, growth, joy, whatever matters most to you. This work isn't about perfection. It's about intention. It's about living with integrity. It's about making sure that when you look back

• 22:14Speaker 03

  on how you spent your money, you feel proud of the choices you made. Before you go, I have a favor to ask. If this episode clicked with you, please follow the show on your favorite podcast app and leave a review. It helps other women find these conversations. And honestly, it just makes my day to hear how these episodes are impacting your life. Remember, money should be a tool to help you live life on your terms. You get to decide what those terms are. And when you align your spending with your values, you're not just managing money. You're designing a life you love. I'll see you next time.

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