Can I Afford to Spend More Without Screwing Up My Future?

You’re saving. You’re investing. You’re doing the responsible things. So why does spending money still make you nervous? In this episode, Shari answers a question a lot of successful women quietly wrestle with: Can I afford to spend more without putting my future at risk? Using her 50/30/20 approach to needs, wants, and wishes, Shari explains how to figure out whether you actually have room to spend more, why saving aggressively can sometimes become its own form of financial fear, and how to separate real financial risks from the endless feeling that “something could happen.” You’ll learn how to put an actual number on “enough,” why your emergency fund shouldn’t also be your vacation, renovation, and everything-else fund, and what to do when the numbers say you can spend—but your brain still says you shouldn’t. Because sometimes the answer isn’t that you need to save more. Sometimes you need permission to use the money you’ve already worked so hard to build. If you’re ready for personalized, judgment-free financial guidance, learn more about working with Shari. Shari Rash is the founder of GWA Wealth, a virtual advisory firm helping women make confident, values-aligned decisions with their money. Visit GWA Wealth to explore your next step. Talkin’ Points → where your money gets smarter. Real talk, practical tips, zero guilt straight to your inbox. Sign up here. Be sure to like and follow the show on your favorite podcast app! Keep the conversation going on Instagram @everyonestalkinmoney Shari Rash is a financial planner and Investment Adviser Representative of GWA Wealth, a Registered Investment Adviser. The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as personalized investment, tax, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create an advisory relationship with Shari Rash or GWA Wealth. All investments involve risk, including the potential loss of principal. Any references to specific investments, strategies, or securities are for illustrative purposes only and are not recommendations. You should consult your own financial advisor, tax professional, or attorney regarding your individual situation before making any financial decisions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• 1:25Speaker 03

  You're saving, you're investing, you're doing the things you're supposed to be doing. But there's still this hesitation every time you want to spend more than usual. Maybe it's a trip, maybe it's clothes, maybe it's fixing up your house. Maybe it's just wanting a little more room in your monthly spending without immediately feeling irresponsible. And the question becomes, can I afford to spend more without screwing up my future?

• 2:01Speaker 03

  Because there's an interesting thing I see with women who are doing well financially. Sometimes they're not asking me for a financial plan. They're asking me for permission. And they don't necessarily realize that's what they're asking for. Welcome back to Everyone's Talkin Money, the podcast for women who make good money, but still have questions about what they should actually be doing with it. I'm Shari Rash. I've spent 20 years in personal finance. I'm the founder of GWA Wealth, and I help women who are doing well on paper actually feel confident with their money. Around here, we talk about the money questions women are thinking about, but don't always feel comfortable asking out loud.

• 2:45Speaker 03

  And today's question is, can I afford to spend more without screwing up my future? The answer isn't automatically yes, and it isn't automatically no. First, I want to figure out what spend more actually means for you.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  So if someone sat down with me and said, "Shari, can I spend more money without screwing up my future or doing things that future me would not be happy about?" I'm going to have a bunch of follow-up questions. Not necessarily in this order, but these are questions I'm going to ask. Do you feel like you've been sacrificing? Do you have something specific in mind that you want to spend money on? Do you feel like you currently can't afford to spend more? What does spending more actually look like? Like, paint me a picture. You're coming to me, asking me, can I spend more? Tell me what that means.

• 3:48Speaker 03

  Because in my head, spending more may look very different than in your head. In your head, it may be just buying lunch out from work an extra time each week, going and getting coffee a few times. Like, that may be your definition of spending more. And my definition could be totally different. So what does spending more actually feel like to you? What's the feeling? If I were to say, yes, you can spend more, what is the feeling behind that? Do you already feel like you spend a lot? Or conversely, do you feel like you don't spend anything at all?

• 4:29Speaker 03

  How much of your take-home income is going toward spending right now? And again, what is spending? Tell me what that is. Because there is a huge difference between, I want to spend another $500 this month, or I want to be able to buy something without feeling guilty or worrying if I can afford it. I want to increase my lifestyle by $3,000 every single month. One example could be an expensive month. The other could fundamentally change your financial structure. So before I tell you whether you can afford to spend more,

• 5:11Speaker 03

  I want to understand what we're actually talking about. So the best way for me to answer this question is, one, I have so many, I'm going to have so many more questions because this is not a simple yes and no. And yeah, we're going to get math involved, but we're getting our emotions involved as well because obviously, as we all know, money and emotions go hand in hand. So first, what I want to do is the 50-30-20 rule. I love the 50-30-20 rule. It's a great rule of thumb. It's, in my opinion, it gives you the guardrails, but budgeting is, it's not as restrictive as budgeting.

• 5:56Speaker 03

  So the 50-30-20, 50% of your money, your take-home income, should go to needs. 30% of your take-home income goes to wants, and 20% goes to what I call wishes. And for me, wishes are anything that increases your net worth. So saving, investing, and paying down debt. And the reason why I love this framework is because it gives every dollar a job. There is nothing that you have coming into your household that there's a question mark about. So it's, so we're not just saving for the future. We're not being restricted to that.

• 6:41Speaker 03

  We're not being made to feel bad. The fun stuff are wants, also has a job and also has dollars assigned to it. And, and I think that that is, that's the freeing part of this exercise is like, hey, you can spend X amount of dollars on your wants. And when I'm working through with my clients, I'm very clear on what needs are and what wants are. And I'll tell you, needs are not just basic necessities. There is quality of life built into our needs. So Netflix could be a need in your household.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  If you, if that's your primary medium to watch TV, then that's not frivolous. So go, maybe picking up lunch at work once a week is a need, or picking up dinner after work is a need once a week because you're tired and you want some of that flexibility built into your life. You want to be able to like, take a break from the dishes and take a break from packing or, you know, cooking dinner. Great. So when I'm working with my clients on this, the needs, you're already feeling somewhat fulfilled with your needs because we're having life built into it.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  And then when we add wants on top of it, like, what? Like, I can, I'm being given permission to spend money on things that are not necessities? Like, that's pretty awesome. So if your needs are around 50% of your take-home income, and at least 20% is going towards your wishes, then you have my full permission to use 30% on wants. So this is going to take a little legwork by you, going back and looking at your past expenses. So I always say like, three months. It's a season, stuff goes on. There's birthday, there's a birthday. There could be a long weekend somewhere.

• 8:50Speaker 03

  You know, there's always something that's a little expensive within that three-month period. So go back and, you know, look at your expenses, needs, wants, wishes. What are they and quantify them and assign them all a job and look at your past spending. You may say like, oh, my gosh, um, I'm spending nothing on wants. Like I have nothing being spent or I'm at like 10%. Like no wonder why I'm asking for permission to spend more because mathematically I can afford to spend more on my wants.

• 9:24Speaker 03

  So you want to look at the 50, 30, 20, again, 50% to needs, um, 30% to wants, 20% to wishes. Now, it's very rare that your money magically fits into this, right? There's going to be some work involved. I've had like one client that this is like, it's, it's almost lined up dollar, you know, for one of the categories. So it's not as if magically you're going to just, going to fit into this. So you do need to do some finagling, like is 70% of your income being spent on needs? One, are you being a little bit generous in your, in what you're classifying in needs?

• 10:06Speaker 03

  Or that's okay if 70% of your income's being spent on needs. If you have like the high car payment or something like that, that just means a little bit less is being spent on wants. As long as your needs and wants add up to about 80%, I'm okay. Especially for single women, you don't have roommates, you don't have someone else to split the expenses with you. Yeah, your needs may be a little bit higher. But again, once you calculate that, and most importantly, you have 20% going to the wishes. So the, um, investment account, your emergency fund, your sinking funds that I've talked about so much on this show recently.

• 10:51Speaker 03

  But as long as that 20% is being fulfilled, then yeah, you have permission to spend what's left over on your wants and use it. And you don't have to apologize for it because that freedom I'm giving you of spending it is, is going to feel so fulfilling and less irresponsible because you're doing everything else you're supposed to do. So you can spend this once on travel, on clothes, on restaurants, on concerts, on home improvement, on experiences, whatever you want.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  And that doesn't mean you have to spend the money right now. Maybe you're like, listen, I'm good. I don't need to spend my 30%. I calculated what that dollar percent is and that's high, then fine. Use, you know, the, the difference for a vacation you're having in a couple of months. Like then sock that money away for the ones. Um, but again, the ones at 30% gives you permission to spend. And again, get your percentages to work for you, but have an allocation for wants. It is there for you for your life.

• 12:09Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration blog, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses, setup required. Compatibility and availability varies, 18 plus.

• 12:35Speaker 03

  So, and just to be clear, like if you're like doing some napkin math right now and you're like, oh, my gosh, 30% of my take home income on wants, like that's an insane amount of money. Okay, you don't have to, you know, some months you may, if it's an expensive month, other months you don't.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  So if you're perfectly happy spending 10% of your income on wants, you don't need to go blow the other 20% because Shari told me.

• 13:06Speaker 03

  But odds are, if you're thinking, can I afford to spend more? Like if you are the person that asked me this question, can I afford to spend more? You probably aren't spending 30% on ones. You might be at 5%, right? You may feel super restricted.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  So I don't want to, I, I never want to recommend someone to go outside of their comfort zone. So use these numbers as data and then your emotions will also guide us to the answer. So again, calculate these numbers, 50, 30, 20 of your take home income. Look at what you are historically spending and does it line up? Is there, is there a gap? Are your needs astronomically high? Well, then your wants are going to have to be low, but at least you understand why they're, they, they have to be lower, um, because your needs are so high, right? Or if you just feel like you're saving 50% of your income, you know?

• 14:11Speaker 03

  And you're not spending anything on wants and it's just needs and saving, of course you're going to feel really restricted there as well. So let's flip this around. You know, I said, okay, if you're looking at your historical spending and your needs and wants added up to 80%, but maybe your needs were more like 75, 70%, 65%. That means your wants have to be smaller. But let's flip it around and say, what if I'm already saving way more than 20%? So let's say you calculate your numbers and you're at 48% needs, 12% wants and 40% wishes.

• 14:51Speaker 03

  My first reaction is not like, oh, my gosh, you're saving too much, go shopping. But I want to know, why are you saving that much? Is it purposeful? Do you feel bad spending so you're just saving what's left over because you're not spending any of your money? Where is your money going? Where is that 40% going? Is it all going into a bank account? Are you investing it? Are you paying down debt? Are you saving for a house, a renovation, some other large purchase? And most importantly, does that money, does that 40% actually have a purpose? Because it could be intentional, which is awesome.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  If you have the willpower and the ability to save 40% of your income, amazing. It could be intentional and totally appropriate based on your goals. But 40% is aggressive. And what I don't want for you is to feel like because you've managed to save 40% for a period of time, you're now stuck at that 40% and anything less, you're like a failure.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  Because then, then that creates a whole nother financial, emotional, financial can of worms, right? So, uh, what I do, if I have a client that, you know, is saving for goals, um, a down payment on a house, a renovation, all of that, and they're saving super aggressively, I always want to try to avoid creating what I call the caged animal effect. So the caged animal effect, I think of my golden doodle flash. And if I were to put him in his cage, he'd be a good boy for a little bit of time, right? He'll sit there and it'll be fine.

• 16:43Speaker 03

  But then as soon as I open that cage up, he then runs around the house with zoomies. And the same can go for our money. If we're super restricted, if we're in that cage, then like when the cage door gets open, are we running around with zoomies, spending and making up for lost time? So if you start to feel like, uh, my money's running me instead of me running it and I'm saving so much and I feel restrictive and I'm second guessing every purchase I make, even if it's a necessity, you need to back off of yourself a little bit. You need to just chill out, um, and just realize that you've been saving super aggressively and that cannot, is not sustainable forever.

• 17:29Speaker 03

  So what I would say is, you know, let's calculate that 20% number and say, this is, if you save this much in any given month, you had a successful month. Like that is success. So yeah, you're, you may now be getting a little bit swayed and thinking 40% is, is successful, but no, like if you are saving that 20% and because you decided the other 20%, I'm going on vacation or I'm doing XYZ, great. Good, good for you. You have the cash. So, um, so some months, it's, if you're saving aggressively, it is okay to take the foot

• 18:14Speaker 03

  off your gas for a little bit and give yourself a reward. Just take the pressure off.

• 18:21Speaker 03

  And so just remember that saving less than your maximum is not the same thing as failing.

• 18:29Speaker 03

  So this is where the conversation gets more interesting because sometimes someone could be saving 35, 40% of her income because she genuinely has a big goal. And that's fine. That's great. That's wonderful. But sometimes she's doing it because she's scared. She's scared she'll get off course, scared that if she lets herself spend once, she won't stop, scared she'll lose her job, scared that something will happen to the house. It's scarcity. It's uncertainty. It's feeling like she has to keep saving because she doesn't trust herself or trust the future. And that there's a point where I need to push back. Because if I don't push back and I just tell you to keep saving more and I allow you to

• 19:10Speaker 03

  let this fear drive everything, I'm enabling your fear. And then I'm not doing my job. Being financially responsible should make your life feel more secure. It shouldn't make you feel afraid to live it. So what I want to do is quantify the scary thing or things. So instead of saying, but what if something bad happens? Let's figure out what the bad thing actually is. What are you afraid will happen? Let's say you're afraid you're going to lose your job. Okay. How long would you realistically be out of work? What does your monthly household spending look like? And that's the beauty of the 50, 30, 20.

• 19:54Speaker 03

  Because if we're actually spending 50% of our income on needs and 30% on wants and 20% on wishes, so saving, paying down debt. Something bad were to happen, we can remove those wants or we can dramatically decrease them. We can stop saving, right? And just live off of our, our emergency fund. So that's why this, the 50, 30, 20 is also so awesome. Because you know, okay, if something bad were to happen, I know exactly what I'm going to cut out. And we don't have to have the mental gymnastics of what is my life going to look like? You know what it's going to look like. It's your needs, spending.

• 20:34Speaker 03

  And again, remember, we built in the Netflix, we built in the lunch out once a week, we built in the dinner out once a week. We built all that in. So like, even if we had to take away the wants, life isn't that horrible. So again, that's less money you may need in the emergency or, you know, in that terrible thing that you have occurring in your brain. So let's say the bad thing we're preparing for is what if the HVAC dies? Okay. How much will replacing it cost? A major house repair. Let's assign a number there. Well, I could go all day, right?

• 21:14Speaker 03

  Like, tell me what the bad thing is and tell me how much it's going to cost. And that's, that's where we get out of just like fear mongering and like just become real about it. That's where we, we step out of our emotions. We acknowledge our emotions, like I'm terrified of losing my job because I might not have enough money. Okay. Let's look at that emotion and then let's quantify it where we're getting the emotion and the math together. Something might happen has no ceiling. We could save for something might happen for the rest of our lives and still never feel like we have enough. So we, we need to set ceilings to it and amounts.

• 21:57Speaker 03

  And then once we achieve it, congratulate ourselves and then move on to the next thing. Separating your money is also really important because your emergency fund is not the same thing as your renovation fund. Money for a future car is not your emergency fund. If you want a $75,000 renovation and you're temporarily saving aggressively toward it, perfect, awesome, great. Maybe you do save that 40% for a while, but that money is for a specific job. It is very different from just continuing to pile money into one account because having more money makes you feel temporarily safer. Here's also the big one, too.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  Once you save the money and you achieve the goal and then that thing happens that you're saving for, you now need to spend the money. Use it. The, I have so many clients that like, they have the money and then they're like, they, I have to say, go spend it now. Like now you have to use it. You, you did it. Now use the money. So permission to use the money as well. So when money has a specific job, that is very different than just continuing to pile money into one account because having more makes you feel temporarily safer. So can I afford it?

• 23:21Speaker 03

  Sometimes is not just a math question. Eventually we may get through this and discover my needs are covered. I'm saving at least 20%. My emergency fund is where it needs to be. My other goals are being funded. And I, you still cannot make yourself spend the money. And that's when this stops being primarily an affordability question because the math has already answered it. You can afford it. Now we're talking about how you feel about spending the money. Those are two different conversations. This is why I don't think just save more or give up your coffee is always good financial advice.

• 24:01Speaker 03

  There is such a thing as being so financially responsible that it becomes debilitating. You don't take the vacation. You don't improve your house. You don't buy the thing you've wanted for years. You keep postponing everything until some imaginary point where you will finally feel completely safe. And the problem is that that point may never arrive on its own. So how do you know when you have enough? And this is where, where I would start quantifying. What is everything you're saving for? List them. Write it all, every single thing. Even the things that you say, like this feels ridiculous that I'm even saying I'm saving for it. Write it down. And how much does each thing cost?

• 24:45Speaker 03

  And how much do you already have saved toward it? What risks are you trying to protect yourself against? And what are those risks costing you? What does your emergency fund need to be? And what other savings buckets do you need? What are you investing for? What debt are you trying to eliminate? Get specific. Because enough can't just be a feeling. If enough is a feeling, the goalpost is going to move forever. We're always going to have that carrot dangling down in front of us. There, there has to be a point where we say, this amount accomplishes the thing you told me you wanted your money to accomplish. And congratulate yourself.

• 25:26Speaker 03

  And then now you have the freedom to move on. So then I would ask you this. If, if I told you today that you have enough, what would you do next? And think about it. If you knew your future was being funded, if you knew your emergencies were covered, if you knew you were saving enough, what would you do with the money that is left? Would you take the vacation? Would you redo part of your house? Would you buy clothes that you actually love? Would you work a little less? Would you go to dinner more often? Whatever your answer is, pay attention to it. Because that may be what you've been actually asking for permission to do.

• 26:11Speaker 03

  Your money has more than one job. Some of it needs to protect you. Some of it needs to build your future. Some of it may need to pay down the decisions you made in the past. But some of it is also supposed to make your life better now. So if you make some changes, do some modifications, do some research on your past spending and your needs are now at a place where they're about 50% of your take home income. You have 20% of your take home income going to saving, going to investing, going to paying down debt, going to sinking funds, going to future you. You may not need to keep waiting for some future version of yourself to tell you it's okay.

• 26:56Speaker 03

  You may already be there. And the answer to can I afford to spend more without screwing up my future might actually be yes. And sometimes you just needed somebody to give you permission.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

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