Sinking Funds, Money Shame and Single-Woman Safety Nets - Listener Q&A Part 2!

In this listener Q&A episode, Shari Rash answers three real-life money questions from women trying to make smarter financial decisions without overthinking, guilt, or one-size-fits-all advice. First, how do you plan for holidays, birthdays, travel, school events, weddings, and family obligations without feeling like you are budgeting every bit of joy out of your life? Then, what if you grew up in a family where money was never discussed — and now you feel embarrassed asking basic financial questions as an adult? And finally, if you are single, own your home, and rely on one income, is a three-to-six-month emergency fund really enough? Or does it make sense to keep a larger cash cushion? Shari breaks down how to use sinking funds for predictable-but-irregular expenses, why not knowing something about money is not a personal failure, and how single women can think about emergency funds, homeownership, liquidity, and investing with more nuance. Because real financial planning is not about following generic rules perfectly. It is about knowing how those rules apply to your actual life. If you’re ready for personalized, judgment-free financial guidance, learn more about working with Shari. Shari Rash is the founder of GWA Wealth, a virtual advisory firm helping women make confident, values-aligned decisions with their money. Visit GWA Wealth to explore your next step. Talkin’ Points → where your money gets smarter. Real talk, practical tips, zero guilt straight to your inbox. Sign up here. Be sure to like and follow the show on your favorite podcast app! Keep the conversation going on Instagram @everyonestalkinmoney Shari Rash is a financial planner and Investment Adviser Representative of GWA Wealth, a Registered Investment Adviser. The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be construed as personalized investment, tax, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create an advisory relationship with Shari Rash or GWA Wealth. All investments involve risk, including the potential loss of principal. Any references to specific investments, strategies, or securities are for illustrative purposes only and are not recommendations. You should consult your own financial advisor, tax professional, or attorney regarding your individual situation before making any financial decisions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:01Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration blog, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies 18 plus.

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• 1:33Speaker 03

  Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Everyone's Talking Money. Shari here, and we had so many questions come in, and they were such great questions that I couldn't help but do a second Q and A episode. So I hope some of these questions that listeners sent in resonate with you. If you have a question for me, send me an email, [email protected], or go to my website, everyonestalkingmoneypodcast.com, and send me a message. I want to hear from you. What are your money questions? What are you thinking about? What's keeping you up at night? And hopefully I can help you with that.

• 2:16Speaker 03

  But before we jump into today's questions, I want to share something with you. There are some changes coming to the show over the next few weeks, and I'm really excited about them. I've been thinking a lot about what this podcast is for and what kind of conversations I want to be having here. We're going to start going deeper on the financial decisions women are actually making. Cash, investing, taxes, retirement, spending, and planning for real life. Still practical, still financial, just more focused on helping you know what to do next. So these changes are going to be happening in a couple of weeks.

• 2:57Speaker 03

  Keep your eye out on your podcast feed for our changes and every new episode. Now let's get into the questions. So first, we have a question from Sarah. She's 43 and she's in Charlotte. Hi, Shari. I feel like every month, there's something coming up. Birthdays, holidays, weddings, travel, school events, family stuff. I can afford these things, but I also feel like I'm constantly moving money around to pay for them. How do I plan for all of these without feeling like I'm budgeting every bit of joy out of my life?

• 3:35Speaker 03

  I like this question, and this is exactly why I don't like budgets, is because we can say, oh, I'm spending $50 a month on gifts, and I budget for that. But then you have three birthdays in a month, and you blew your budget, and you feel terrible about yourself. That's why the super strict budgets, in my opinion, don't work because it doesn't account for life. So Sarah, what I'd like you to do, and any listener that's like, yes, I feel like there's always something coming up. The best way to learn from this is from history. So what I'd like you to do,

• 4:19Speaker 03

  and this may feel like a big task. So either look at the past six months, but I think ideally, look back at the past year

• 4:29Speaker 03

  so we can learn from historical spending so we can get an idea of what you're actually spending on these one-offs. But these one-offs occur every month or multiple times a month. So sit down, grab a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, whatever time of day you're doing this, the appropriate drink and snack, maybe to make this enjoyable. Light a candle, make this as enjoyable as possible, and just go through your expenses. You may have to not only look at your bank or credit card statements, but you may also have to look at your Amazon purchases, right? Because on our credit card, it just shows up as Amazon,

• 5:13Speaker 03

  and we have no idea what that is. So you may also have, this might be a couple rounds of checking things. Go look at your Amazon purchases and start to get a history of what you are spending. And I wouldn't lump all of this together either. You mentioned birthdays, you mentioned holidays, you mentioned weddings, travel, school events. Like, start quantifying what these expenses are. So if you see, oh, in May, I had three birthdays, and here's the presents, or here is just the expense for dinner. Quantify it. Holidays, how much do you spend for the holidays?

• 5:58Speaker 03

  And holidays might, doesn't just include presents, right? It's all the other stuff we have going on at the holidays and all these added expenses that, yes, it's one time a year, but it happens every year. I go to the Nutcracker every year with my kids. So those are tickets I know I'm going to spend every year. I buy my kids ornaments every year. My girlfriends and I just started a new tradition that we go out on December 23rd and see a show and go out to dinner. Plan for that accordingly. So whatever your categories are, birthdays, holidays, weddings.

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Weddings are a little tough because you may not be going to a wedding every year. Weddings may just be like a sinking fund expense or lump that in with travel. Family stuff, whatever it is, we got to get an idea of how much we're spending because we can't plan for these things without knowing what we're planning for. And Sarah, you mentioned you can afford these things, which is great, but it still gets fatiguing, right? That you have these things coming up, and it's like, I still have to pay for them. And maybe it is taking away from something else. So what I want you to do is again quantify it and create whatever categories are applicable to you. Everyone may have their own different categories,

• 7:24Speaker 03

  but whatever they are for you. Obviously, the holidays are a big one, travel's a big one, birthdays, whatever it is, okay? We're going through our transactions, and we're quantifying it as best as we can. Okay. Then I want to get totals, and let's see how much you're actually spending. And it's hard to set a budget and go, well, I'm going to spend, I'm making this up, $500 a year on birthday presents for maybe my extended family members or friends. Well, some years, you may get invited to more things than others. So that's, you know, that's hard to set a budget for that. So instead, what I'd like you to do

• 8:09Speaker 03

  is look at how much you're spending on each of these things. And this is where we're creating those sinking funds. Sinking funds are so powerful because it just gives you control. And I feel like I'm talking about sinking funds more and more, especially with the questions that come in. But that just shows that there's a void in sinking fund education, right? We're not talking about sinking funds enough. We don't have them. So let's create sinking funds. And we don't want to over sink fund us, sinking fund ourselves. We don't want to be like over analyzing. But for these big expenses, these are great reasons to have sinking funds. So then when the birthday comes up,

• 8:54Speaker 03

  when the wedding comes up, when the vacation comes up, hey, I have money set aside for this. And it may not cover all of it, right? You may not have enough in your sinking fund to cover the destination wedding you were invited to. But hey, at least it's something. So at least you're not taking 100% of it out of your monthly spending to pay for the wedding in Mexico. So look at what you're spending. We are setting up sinking funds for these things. Then what I want you to do is add up these expenses, divide by 12. And that's how much you should, ideally, you should send to those sinking funds.

• 9:38Speaker 03

  If that's not a realistic number, then send what you can. Go back and look at where are you saving? Maybe your emergency fund is maxed out. Maybe you're accumulating more money in your checking account than you want. Maybe you've been wanting to do something with your money, and you can't, and you're not sure what to do. However, much you can send to these sinking funds for these things that are coming up, the better. And all this does is it makes you feel more in control versus everything around you, everything controlling you, you're controlling it. And I think at the end of the day, that's the big

• 10:19Speaker 03

  issue with our money is that we feel like everything else is controlling us. Our money is controlling us versus us controlling it. So whatever you can send to these sinking funds, the better. So a couple hundred bucks a month. Awesome. Great. Some of it goes to the holidays. Some of it may go to a birthday present. Some of it may go to travel. Send it there and automate it and forget about it. And then here's the big thing. I'm giving you permission to actually use this money. Sometimes when we start saving, like we have our emergency fund, we have our sinking fund. We then feel weird about using the money. But that's exactly why it was there.

• 11:01Speaker 03

  I had a conversation with a client the other day and they were like, you know, I had the emergency fund and then I got a big tax bill, so I had to use it. And it's like, no, that's why it was there. So they're beating themselves up for absolutely no reason. That's exactly why the emergency fund exists. So, or why the sinking fund exists. So I'm giving you the permission now that you can use this money. Please use it. That's why we're saving it. That's why it's there. You're gonna replenish it because you have those monthly automations coming in. So again, quantify what you've spent. Do your best in quantifying what you've spent. Look at the past year. We have to learn from history.

• 11:42Speaker 03

  Look at our Amazon purchases, Walmart purchases, Target purchases, whatever it is, and try to gather as much information as we can. Add it all up, create your categories, divide by 12. Ideally, that's how much we're sending to our sinking funds each month for those expenses. Okay. Sarah, I hope that helps. Send me an email after you do it and let me know how much are in your, I'd love to know how much are in your sinking funds and how much you're able to contribute. And give me an update if this is helpful, if that helped to make you feel more in control. Okay. Next, we have a question from Melissa.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  She's 37. She's in Nashville. I grew up in a family where we never talked about money, like ever. Now I'm in my late 30s. I make good money, but I still feel embarrassed at asking what probably seems like basic financial questions. How do I get over feeling like I should already know this stuff? I think so many of us are in that position. I say it all the time, like we become an adult. We get our big girl job and then, and you know, HR puts our 401k pamphlet down in front of us and tells us to pick some investments or start investing. Or we have to pick our benefits and it's like, what?

• 13:12Speaker 03

  I don't, no one ever taught me this. How am I expected to know? And it's not fair. It sucks, right? Especially, you know, if you grew up in a household where you don't talk about money, you're then expected to know it. And then you may feel weird because maybe money wasn't talked about because it, there was a negative, you know, your parents may have felt negatively about it or whatever reason. Or because they didn't know. Honestly, they may have just been, you know, white knuckling it and figuring it out themselves. So it's like, how can I teach my kid these things if I don't even know what I'm doing? And it's so real. And so first, we just have to accept the reality of the situation. Like I wasn't taught these things. Okay.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  I wasn't, you know, thinking about all the other things we may have never been taught. Right? Like, but for some reason, money, we just are expected or put this unnecessary pressure on ourselves that we're just supposed to know this. But like, there are so many things we're not taught as kids or, or maybe we didn't retain it. Or things weren't talked about. And we figure it out. We talk to other people about it. We gather other people's experiences, other perspectives. But for some reason, money, we feel weird even asking about it. Hence why we're, we're, we're all listening here, right? Because we want to learn more. So first,

• 14:43Speaker 03

  you gotta get over feeling like you should already know it. Maybe you should, maybe you shouldn't. I mean, like,

• 14:51Speaker 03

  if you don't get an education in money, whether that's, you know, through school or through, you know, the way you grew up, you weren't given it, like it is what it is. You know, there's kids that go to college and never knew how to do their laundry, right? Their roommates had to teach them how to do their laundry. So, or cook, right? We, some people aren't ever taught how to cook because it's like, well, my mom just cooked and she just did it. And I, I never was taught how to scramble an egg because she took care of it for me. There's so many things we weren't taught. And, and, and money, you know, money is just one of them. So we got it, we just gotta get over it. And accept, and where are you now?

• 15:36Speaker 03

  Sit in it. And how can we get better from here? So how can we just learn what maybe we feel like we missed out on? Or what is going on in your life that you feel like you need to know more about when it comes to money? And, you know, obviously, listening to this podcast and sending me questions is a great way to start. I would be careful or caution against going to so many sources for financial information. Because what we do as women is we will think we have to just keep on learning and research and learning and research and overanalyzing

• 16:17Speaker 03

  and create this procrastination that we never then make a decision because we have to read this next article, listen to this next podcast in order to really understand it. You probably know more than what you think you know or what you're giving yourself credit for. So first, acknowledge what you do know and what you have learned and congratulate yourself for that. But then it's just taking one topic at a time. What is one thing about money? Or about personal finance, I want to learn more about? And research it. But again, don't over research it because then things start contradicting.

• 16:58Speaker 03

  It's overwhelming, analysis by paralysis by analysis, all of that. Okay, but what's one thing you want to learn more about? And, and start with that. And then, once you feel like you have an understanding, then take action, whatever that action is. The, I think the best way to learn about money is to do, whether that's finding a trusted resource and speaking with them and implementing their recommendations and doing it and feeling good about it, or making some decisions yourself.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  You, we can't mess up too badly when it comes to, to some of the decisions we make, right? A lot of things are undoable. Like unless we get into like, we're buying a mortgage and we're, we're way in over our heads with that bought way more house. Like there's some things we can't, we can't return the house. But there's a lot of things we can do that you can kind of get your, get your sea legs with and, and learn about money. So, but also don't be embarrassed about asking. You, you said you feel embarrassed about asking what probably seems like basic financial questions. Odds are, I'm confident you, you're not alone.

• 18:16Speaker 03

  I have clients that are, that work in finance and I'm sitting down with them and, and they work for financial companies. And I'm like, well, stop me if you know this already. And they're like, I don't, I don't know this. I don't know this stuff. I'm making the assumption that they know this stuff, but they don't. So many people, you're not alone. Okay, so take comfort in that, that you're not alone. Find a friend, maybe that feels similarly to you, like, hey, I know, I need help like learning more about money. And you may have a friend that goes like, yeah, me too. And maybe you, you've researched things and talked things out together. I mean, I have, I have friends that were learning

• 19:02Speaker 03

  Mahjong together and we took classes, we're learning pickleball and we take classes and we research and we go, I don't know this. And then a friend looks up the rule and shares it with the rest of us. Like, why is that not, I wasn't taught Mahjong in my household. I wasn't growing up, I wasn't taught how to play pickleball. Why are we not embarrassed about asking, hey, questions about that? Like, hey, I have no idea what's the rule with the kitchen? Like, someone explain the kitchen to me. What's a dink? Like, why are we not embarrassed about asking that? But we're embarrassed about asking about money. For some reason, we tie money to our self-worth or who we are as a person or a reflection of who we are as a person. And that's just not accurate.

• 19:45Speaker 03

  If you really, really feel uncomfortable talking to a person about money, let's use some of the robots, you know, go into chat GPT and be like, hey, I need to understand this better. Provide me some resources. Don't just take what they say back. Provide me some resources on how I can better understand this. And then they, they will. So they're going to scour the internet for you. They're essentially being your Google and they're going to find things for you to better understand and answer your questions. Then, once you have an understanding, then have conversations with people, then find trusted resources, then find professionals that can help you.

• 20:27Speaker 03

  But we just gotta get over, like, I should know this already. Like, there's a lot of things we should know already that we don't, or, or I should know already, but I don't. It is what it is. It's not a reflection on who we are as a person. Okay. So Melissa, don't be so hard on yourself. Don't be hard on your parents either because they didn't talk to you about it. You know, everyone's doing the best they can. And now it's up to you to just take what you know, sit in it and then, and then get better. Educate yourself, learn more, ask questions like you are to me right now. So thank you.

• 21:02Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up require compatibility and availability varies 18 plus.

• 21:28Speaker 03

  Okay. Now we have a question from Jennifer. Hi, Shari, I'm single. I own my home and it's just me. If something goes wrong, there's no second income to fall back on. Most advice says to keep three to six months in an emergency fund, but that doesn't feel like enough for me. Am I being overly cautious if I want nine or even 12 months in cash? I had this conversation

• 21:58Speaker 03

  the other day with a client, actually, very, very similar conversation. So we went through, here's a rule of thumb, three to six months' worth of expenses to have an emergency fund. And she said to me, like, I just, I don't feel like that's enough. And that's where the science, the math and the emotions come together. Because I can tell you, you know, the rules of thumb all day long, and you could implement them, but if you don't feel good about it, then it was a worthwhile, it was not a worthwhile exercise, and it was a waste because you don't feel good about it. You need to feel good about everything you're doing when it comes to your money. So let's work through this a little bit.

• 22:42Speaker 03

  So you, you own your home. So yeah, a lot of things can go wrong when you own a home, right? And they're expensive. So that's a reason to have, you know, if we're talking about three to six months, leaning more towards six months, a lot can go wrong.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  But also, you're a single income. So what is your income like? What is your job like? Is your job very stable? Is there the possibility of layoffs? Are you in a sales-based job where it's, you know, you get a lot of commission and it's lumpy? Or do you work for yourself? And your income could be lumpy? Again, reasons to have more in an emergency fund to smooth things out if, if that, if your income is not as consistent. I would also say, an emergency fund is not your only cash option. Right? An emergency fund should be put away with lock-in key for true emergencies.

• 23:44Speaker 03

  You lose your job. Your house gets flooded and you need to rip walls down, which also could be a case for insurance, right? Insurance may kick in and you just have to pay the deductible. So let's think about what are true emergencies? And what is just stuff that you want to pay for, do, whatever? So if your income is lumpy, yeah. Or your job is on, is not consistent, or there's a chance of layoffs. Yes, let's lean more towards that six months. If you, you're single income, yeah, a reason to lean more towards six months. You own your home, yes, a reason to lean more towards six months.

• 24:28Speaker 03

  But let's think about what type of emergency, emergency would come up to wipe away six months' worth of expenses. Okay? There's probably not a lot. But, but that's our emergency fund. Then, say you want new windows, or say you know your HVAC is on its last leg. That's not an emergency. That is, I know this is coming. Let me save for it to pay for it as much in cash as I can. And I think that that's maybe where we get a little in the weeds when it comes to how much should I have in an emergency fund? Because if your HVAC crashes tomorrow,

• 25:14Speaker 03

  yeah, that's an emergency. But if you know it's, if you're given a heads up during your routine inspection, like, hey, you have like two years left with this thing. Maybe we can start saving. So that could be a whole separate savings fund for, for that. You know, you're going to need new windows. That's a whole nother savings fund. So that's where I would separate the two. Because the emergency fund, we only want to access in the case of a true emergency. And how many emergencies do you think? Let's, you know, think through them. And I think also, this is where having our Freedom Fund really is powerful.

• 25:56Speaker 03

  The Freedom Fund is an after-tax investment account that you can access at any time. Because we don't want all of our money tied up in retirement and tied up in our house. Because those two things are not liquid. You cannot access your retirement money without paying taxes potentially, or penalties depending on your age. So

• 26:19Speaker 03

  that's not liquid money. Second, our house, our equity, yeah, that contributes to your net worth, but it's not liquid. We cannot access the equity of our house without taking out a loan, paying for, paying for a second mortgage, a line of credit, what have you, and without an interest rate. So that money isn't real to us either. So we need that in between. We need that money for, between now and retirement, for when life happens. Whether that's a, a major home improvement, whether that's starting a business, taking a sabbatical, all of that stuff. So that's where we want to contribute. Because the risk of having too much in cash in an emergency fund

• 27:03Speaker 03

  is that it's just sitting there, not working for you, getting a minimal interest rate. Where at least with a Freedom Fund, the money is working for you. And if you're not using it for five years, great, it's been in the market, ideally,

• 27:19Speaker 03

  getting some type of rate of return and growing for you. So that's the risk of having too much cash. Having the eight to 12 months in cash is, let's fully fund an emergency fund, six months' worth of expenses. If you want to round up a little bit, round up a little bit, because it just feels better. But then, let's have liquid assets, and we can have liquid money that's not a bank account. Investments are liquid. You can access them without penalties, without surrender charges, without anything like that. Yeah, will you have to pay capital gains tax on earnings? Sure. But you're also making money. That means you made money on it. So you're paying capital gain, you're, you're paying

• 28:05Speaker 03

  ordinary income tax on any minimal interest in your bank account as well. So that's, that's not a concern for me. So let's decide how much cash, cash you want, what feels good, and then say, okay, let's take the difference, and I'm going to create my Freedom Fund. And that's where I'm going to have my money work for me. It's accessible if I need it. And, but when I'm not using it, when I don't need it, and hopefully I don't need it for a long time, it's working for me and growing. Okay? Those were great questions. Thank you so much, Jennifer, Melissa and Sarah. Keep the questions coming. I love them. Because this tells me what you're thinking about, what you're concerned about,

• 28:49Speaker 03

  what you want to know more about. I'm one person behind a microphone in a room talking. I don't know what you want to hear about. So this is so helpful for me, and I'm sure it's been helpful for the audience as well. So again, if you have questions, please send them in to me. Everyone'sTalkingMoneyPodcast.com or shari@everyone'stalkingmoneypodcast.com. Thanks so much for joining me. And again, be on the lookout. I have some big changes coming with the podcast very soon. I'll see you next time.

• 29:35Speaker 01

  This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Football has a play for just about everything. You can go deep, keep it on the ground, or draw up something nobody sees coming. And whether you want to run a flea flicker or the tush push, you need a plan to fit your unique situation. That's why State Farm takes the time to get to know you, so they can help personalize coverage for your life and budget. Now that's a solid game plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

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