#562 - The Riff Ripcord, No Joy in a Tesco and Loyal As 10,000 Dogs

John has shaken up the show at a big meeting in Elis’s absence. He should be prepared. In the meantime, comedy fans have been getting the true Elis James stand up experience: Having your joggers called s*** and then introducing Chris McCausland. Get ready Albert Hall. Maybe the mojo does need to return. Plus, the words reaping and sowing once again come to mind, as Buckinghamshire’s most hubristic man sees the warning light chickens come home to roost. Also, John has a frequent male escort and a new friend. They are not the same. Been unwittingly papped or have comments on ABS sensors? Well send them to [email protected] mailto:[email protected] For lots of exclusive EJJR #content, join our Patreon at patreon.com/elisandjohn. For weekly visual highlights, head to youtube.com/@elisandjohn. For everything else, head to elisandjohn.com. The Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Before we start this episode, we want to invite you along to the adventures of Ellis and John.

• 0:04Speaker 01

  If you head over to patreon.com/ellisandjohn, you can join us on our monthly escapades, including

• 0:10Speaker 00

  mini golf picks.

• 0:11Speaker 01

  It's the strangest legal jump in the history of long jump.

• 0:14Speaker 00

  Bird watching. My two favourite things are birds and football.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  And you can watch our latest episode now, where we tackle an escape room.

• 0:22Speaker 02

  So John is absolutely flying here. Well, Ellis is there as well.

• 0:26Speaker 00

  Ellis is there as well, Dave.

• 0:27Speaker 02

  We did the first three, Dave, for complete chill.

• 0:32Speaker 00

  So for adventures and so much more, head over to patreon.com/ellisandjohn now.

• 0:40Speaker 03

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• 1:12Speaker 04

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• 2:04Speaker 01

  Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Elis James and John Robbins Show. Or is it called something else now, Dave?

• 2:14Speaker 02

  I don't know, is it?

• 2:15Speaker 01

  I can't remember, because I'm thinking about the big meeting we had. Did we change the name?

• 2:20Speaker 02

  We did, and we threw a few names around.

• 2:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 2:23Speaker 02

  I think about, well, about the 70th minute of the meeting.

• 2:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 2:27Speaker 02

  Because it was a big old meeting.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  Big meeting.

• 2:29Speaker 02

  So it was definitely past the hour mark where we started to think about names for the show.

• 2:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. Was it John and Dave's Fun Bonanza plus Ellis in smaller font?

• 2:38Speaker 02

  I think we were thinking of

• 2:39Speaker 00

  Toddler Attack.

• 2:40Speaker 02

  I think we were soft launching in 2027, maybe.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  Soft launching in 2027. Yeah, it's all changed here, actually. And I've got to say, I like the new atmosphere.

• 2:50Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 2:51Speaker 01

  We've got so much stuff to roll out across the next six months. We've had big ideas.

• 2:58Speaker 02

  John wants to be known as Banter Boy now.

• 3:00Speaker 01

  Banter Boy, Banter Boy. Well, I actually want to be known as Switchblade.

• 3:04Speaker 00

  The repati referee?

• 3:07Speaker 01

  We had a big meeting on, when was it, Dave?

• 3:11Speaker 02

  Wednesday.

• 3:12Speaker 01

  Wednesday.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  Top of a sky rise, didn't we? A Members Bar?

• 3:14Speaker 01

  Yeah. What I like, think of me as quality control.

• 3:18Speaker 02

  QC.

• 3:18Speaker 01

  Here at Ellis and John, so.

• 3:21Speaker 00

  I always have done, though.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 3:23Speaker 00

  Because sometimes if I make bad jokes, you say, "Ugh."

• 3:28Speaker 01

  That's the equivalent of like the robot machine on the conveyor belt beeping.

• 3:31Speaker 00

  Like if I'd made you eat soil or something, you'd go, "Ugh."

• 3:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:35Speaker 00

  And then I'd feel terrible for 48 hours.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  Like when a laser senses a straight what's-it in a factory that make what's-its.

• 3:44Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:44Speaker 01

  Or make no what's-its and it's just sensing a what's-it.

• 3:47Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:48Speaker 01

  So sure, I'm quality control. So every six months, I tend to go, "Look, things are getting a bit stuffy, things are getting a bit stale."

• 3:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 3:58Speaker 01

  "We need to shake things up. We need an ideas symposium. We need to..." Blue sky the whole affair.

• 4:07Speaker 00

  Refresh.

• 4:07Speaker 01

  Refresh. Unfortunately, Ellis pulled out of the meeting because he's got too much on his plate at the minute. So he wasn't present for the 71-minute efficiency slash content slash creativity meeting.

• 4:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, so it's all been greenlit, all been signed off.

• 4:25Speaker 01

  An awful lot of changes happening around here.

• 4:28Speaker 02

  That's right, Banter Boy.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  Thank you very much.

• 4:30Speaker 00

  BB?

• 4:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, and a lot of what we discussed, Ellis, is going to be delivered to you in real time.

• 4:38Speaker 00

  Oh, is it?

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:39Speaker 00

  Because there are features on the show running order that I don't understand.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:45Speaker 00

  And I keep us

• 4:45Speaker 01

  That's what happens when you look at quality control and go, "Do you know what? I'd rather have the morning off. I don't care if Britain gets diarrhoea from our products. I don't care."

• 4:58Speaker 00

  From our radio show.

• 5:01Speaker 00

  Imagine if it was not bad.

• 5:03Speaker 01

  I don't care.

• 5:04Speaker 00

  It could get this diarrhoea over the air.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  Luckily, there's Dave and John manning the quality control, isn't there, Dave?

• 5:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, big time.

• 5:13Speaker 00

  Did he say, "Ugh," to any of your ideas?

• 5:16Speaker 01

  No, just one of them, actually.

• 5:19Speaker 02

  I think we all went silent for some of our ideas at some point.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Yeah, Dave came up with a unique colour coding system for the ideas.

• 5:26Speaker 00

  Right, right. Why is this funny? It makes sense.

• 5:30Speaker 01

  It's just really funny.

• 5:31Speaker 00

  Like Clive Tilson.

• 5:32Speaker 01

  So.

• 5:33Speaker 02

  Explain to others.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  Well, so he was sharing a Google document with probably a thousand great ideas.

• 5:40Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 5:41Speaker 00

  Who'd come up with the thousand?

• 5:42Speaker 01

  And if I, if I

• 5:43Speaker 00

  That's a lot.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  And he sort of started colour coding them, depending on what we thought, but then he ran out of colours. So when we got

• 5:52Speaker 00

  Right, he ran out of all of the colours that Google has to offer.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  He ran out of colours that made sense.

• 5:55Speaker 00

  Okay, that's a, that's a move idea.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  So one of

• 6:00Speaker 00

  Let's have a look at the Google doc.

• 6:01Speaker 01

  So the

• 6:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, good grief.

• 6:02Speaker 01

  Don't show him the ideas. He wasn't present at the meeting.

• 6:05Speaker 00

  I can't read them from here.

• 6:07Speaker 01

  So

• 6:08Speaker 00

  But you've got

• 6:08Speaker 01

  A good idea is pea green.

• 6:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, I was gonna say that.

• 6:11Speaker 01

  It's go.

• 6:12Speaker 00

  That's not a kind of Google green that I usually see. That's a sort of forest leaf.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  Medium ideas are sort of a sunset.

• 6:20Speaker 00

  Medium ideas a sunset.

• 6:21Speaker 02

  Amber. Get ready or stop, or maybe stop and get ready to go.

• 6:25Speaker 00

  Right. Can I have another quick look at the colours? Right, okay. It's very, not pastel, but it's quite sort of, it's quite autumnal.

• 6:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, please, you're on the other

• 6:34Speaker 01

  Well, this is the big, this is the only thing that Apple's ever given the world, is a pastel colour palette on Excel spreadsheets.

• 6:42Speaker 00

  Hmm.

• 6:43Speaker 01

  That's their only contribution to society.

• 6:45Speaker 00

  Thank you, Apple.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  So Ellis, expect the unexpected.

• 6:50Speaker 00

  Oh, you're gonna pull my trousers down.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  I hope you don't have too much planned for 2027.

• 6:55Speaker 00

  Why, am I gonna be in a coma? You're gonna knock me out.

• 7:00Speaker 02

  No.

• 7:01Speaker 01

  Dave, pop it in amber.

• 7:05Speaker 00

  Hit Ellis with a rake.

• 7:06Speaker 01

  Ellis in a coma is not a bad feature.

• 7:09Speaker 02

  Ellis in a coma. We could do it to the Smiths song.

• 7:13Speaker 01

  We could come live from the ward.

• 7:15Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 7:16Speaker 01

  And then when he wakes up, we could tell him about all the things that happened in 2027.

• 7:21Speaker 00

  I could wake up at the Albert Hall and then immediately do a set.

• 7:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, while Ellis was sleeping, we could call it.

• 7:27Speaker 01

  Josh made a good point to me, Josh Whittaker, last night. He said, "During the gig at the Royal Albert Hall, Ellis is just gonna be thinking about his set all the way through while we're sort of bantering."

• 7:37Speaker 00

  Oh, no, it'd be fine.

• 7:38Speaker 01

  Do you reckon?

• 7:39Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, he will now.

• 7:41Speaker 00

  No, you said it.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  So, big meeting is done, changes

• 7:46Speaker 00

  Actually, a good point from Josh, oh my god.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  Changes are gonna be rolled out. Ellis, expect the unexpected. There's big ideas for 2027.

• 7:53Speaker 00

  There are two kinds of unexpected. There's pleasant unexpected and there's unpleasant unexpected. What are we, what are we talking here?

• 8:00Speaker 02

  So Royal Albert Hall is pleasant.

• 8:02Speaker 00

  Yeah, eventually, yeah.

• 8:03Speaker 02

  Ball in small boy's groin.

• 8:06Speaker 00

  Yeah, all right, Dave.

• 8:07Speaker 02

  Unpleasant.

• 8:08Speaker 00

  Why bring that up? Why that?

• 8:11Speaker 01

  I, I think you are finally, finally going to need to just have a look at your diary and a think about your planning.

• 8:25Speaker 00

  Am I?

• 8:25Speaker 02

  No, you're not.

• 8:26Speaker 00

  What, for all of 2027?

• 8:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 8:30Speaker 00

  We're off to the moon.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  We're off to the moon!

• 8:34Speaker 02

  Say goodbye to your family.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  Can you do Distant Pod from the moon?

• 8:38Speaker 00

  No. Well, I don't know. How does wifi work? It does go up to satellites, doesn't it?

• 8:43Speaker 01

  You could kick that rugby ball really far.

• 8:45Speaker 00

  Yeah, I really love kicking rugby balls far. But John doesn't want to do that for an adventures app.

• 8:51Speaker 02

  Do you know what? The name Distant Pod hasn't completely worked since lockdown. It makes it work again.

• 8:56Speaker 00

  No, what hasn't worked is the socially distant sports bar.

• 8:59Speaker 02

  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 9:00Speaker 00

  Which is why we sort of call it Distant Pod.

• 9:03Speaker 02

  True.

• 9:03Speaker 00

  You could, you could rebrand as sports bar, obviously.

• 9:07Speaker 01

  Or you could release another virus into society.

• 9:10Speaker 00

  Yeah, and I am working on that.

• 9:12Speaker 02

  That's 2028 amber at the minute, isn't it, John?

• 9:15Speaker 01

  So a huge rollercoaster for Ellis this week.

• 9:20Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 9:21Speaker 02

  You've made it really nervous now.

• 9:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, I know.

• 9:23Speaker 01

  Although I'm just teeing you up now to talk about your, because you've, you've had highs, you've had lows, you've been back.

• 9:30Speaker 00

  So many gigs.

• 9:30Speaker 01

  You've been in shorts, you've been in trousers.

• 9:34Speaker 00

  Friday night, ABC Kennington, it was okay. Bedford and Ballin', better, better. We're back.

• 9:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 9:42Speaker 00

  Saturday night, St Albans. How can I, how can I put this? They hated me.

• 9:47Speaker 02

  Oh, no!

• 9:48Speaker 01

  Well, I do have some photos of Ellis in the fetal position on the floor backstage.

• 9:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, that did happen.

• 9:54Speaker 01

  So he's, that was sent to me by the promoter. So he's not just being critical, but I think from what I, in fact, we had an email about this. So Ellis was doing St Albans Comedy Garden.

• 10:08Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:09Speaker 01

  He's back. I mean, he was there.

• 10:11Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  And these are outdoors gigs, for those of you who've not been to any of them. They're in big tents.

• 10:19Speaker 00

  Big, big tents. And they've often, they've got a capacity of between 1,500 and 2,000. So I've done How many have I done? I've done two of them this week. You've done two, I think.

• 10:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 10:29Speaker 00

  Because we both did Somerset House. I did Somerset House two nights ago and John did it last night.

• 10:34Speaker 01

  Now, in fairness to Ellis, when you have had a long break from stand-up, especially in English, these can, even though they're wonderful experiences and very well-run.

• 10:46Speaker 00

  Great lineups.

• 10:47Speaker 01

  Great lineups.

• 10:48Speaker 00

  Unbelievable lineups.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  They still are tricky, big gigs. They're outdoor gigs. They're intense. They're intense.

• 10:57Speaker 00

  But the lineups, like I did last night, when I was at Somerset House, it was me, Tom Rosenthal, Bridget Christie, oh my god, Ross Noble was closing.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:10Speaker 00

  Sam Campbell was on.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 11:13Speaker 00

  Keema Bob was on. Like, it is, they are unreal as lineups go.

• 11:17Speaker 01

  So this is an email from Will. Will says, Dear Ellis, John and nude Dave.

• 11:23Speaker 02

  That's not, that's not.

• 11:25Speaker 01

  In recent weeks, it feels as though there's been an ominously devised smear campaign against the cultural phenomenon that is Elis James's iconic stand-up career.

• 11:34Speaker 00

  That's, yeah, I would agree with that. There's been a smear campaign.

• 11:38Speaker 01

  Between the alleged murmurings of a mass Albert Hall walkout on Reddit forums and a wickedly scathing review in the Sunday Scramble by his own daughter.

• 11:47Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah.

• 11:47Speaker 01

  Cumry's sweetheart is seeing his good name dragged through the mud. Enough is enough. Here the rot stops. I simply will not see the Welsh Wonderboy, which is the name we came up with for Ellis in the meetings. Have his craft called into question and as a certified paying punter, the recent St Albans Comedy Garden. I'm well placed to defend the lad.

• 12:10Speaker 00

  I need defending.

• 12:11Speaker 01

  So I received immediate text confirmation live that Ellis was having a mixed bag of nuts at the St Albans Comedy Garden.

• 12:21Speaker 00

  Is that a metaphor for his performance?

• 12:23Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 12:24Speaker 00

  Right, okay.

• 12:25Speaker 01

  He's allergic to some of the nuts, other nuts he found he could tolerate.

• 12:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, tolerate.

• 12:31Speaker 01

  But there's no escaping the fact there are several photos on my phone of him lying on the floor in the fetal position. That we can't argue with.

• 12:38Speaker 00

  I feel sorry for Geoff Innocent. I brought him on to, I would say, a tepid response.

• 12:44Speaker 02

  Okay. What went wrong?

• 12:46Speaker 00

  They hated me, Dave, because I'm Welsh.

• 12:48Speaker 01

  Now, I think Ellis is being, I don't think anyone hated him.

• 12:52Speaker 02

  No one hates Ellis. He's the likable man in showbiz.

• 12:54Speaker 00

  I'm, I'm.

• 12:55Speaker 01

  They just thought, who is this member of the public on in between the acts? He seems nice.

• 13:02Speaker 00

  Not like Ross Noble called me genial.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  So Will goes on. He seems nice. I'd like him as a neighbour.

• 13:12Speaker 00

  Yeah, has he got a broom?

• 13:13Speaker 01

  I'm not sure why he's here.

• 13:15Speaker 00

  Why's, why's he taking the mic?

• 13:18Speaker 01

  So for those who remain unconvinced about his prowess, here is a list I've compiled to convey but a mere taste of what you can expect from a night of comedy with Elis James.

• 13:27Speaker 00

  Right, who's this guy?

• 13:28Speaker 01

  This is Will who was at the St Albans gig. And Will doesn't hate you.

• 13:31Speaker 00

  No.

• 13:32Speaker 01

  Will's on side.

• 13:33Speaker 00

  What's Will's agenda?

• 13:34Speaker 02

  I'm still worried about Will. I'm a bit worried about Will.

• 13:36Speaker 01

  No, no, no. Will's got a very positive pro Ellis agenda.

• 13:38Speaker 00

  Will Briggs, the promoter, puts these great gigs on. He is as loyal to me as 10,000 dogs.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, he, 10,000 dogs that all send photos they've taken of you curled up on the floor.

• 13:49Speaker 00

  That's true.

• 13:49Speaker 01

  Every comedian they know.

• 13:50Speaker 00

  It's a loyal dog with a sense of humour and access to a smartphone.

• 13:55Speaker 01

  Saying his stand-up talent is buried under thousands of podcasts.

• 13:58Speaker 00

  He did say that. Tony Hookinson said I was cosseted by acolytes.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  So this is Will's five, five-point report from St Albans Comedy Garden.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  So Will just gives us some highlights.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 14:15Speaker 01

  I'll be honest, one low light.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  Oh, no. Oh, good.

• 14:20Speaker 01

  Naturally, there was live in the flesh Cumry connecting, featuring perhaps a first nemesis connection in the form of a swimming instructor.

• 14:27Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  So did you fail to connect?

• 14:30Speaker 00

  No, we both knew this person, but this person was mean to me in 1985.

• 14:35Speaker 01

  Ah.

• 14:35Speaker 00

  And then the air turned blue.

• 14:37Speaker 01

  Right.

• 14:38Speaker 00

  I hadn't realised I'd buried so much of that stuff.

• 14:41Speaker 01

  Is that why the audience turned?

• 14:43Speaker 00

  I think they were confused by it, by my ire.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  This is what happens when you.

• 14:47Speaker 00

  1985 is 41 years ago.

• 14:51Speaker 01

  Increasingly, in the world of like, say you've got someone with a big TikTok presence or a big YouTube channel.

• 14:56Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 14:56Speaker 01

  And they do like an Edinburgh show. They're sort of, they're finding a place for their fans to meet and see them live. And that's a very good, you know, it's a good thing. However, they would never do a mixed bill stand-up show where 20% of people knew everything about them.

• 15:16Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  And 80% are like, why is this guy talking about a swimming instructor?

• 15:21Speaker 02

  Oh, I see. Right.

• 15:22Speaker 00

  It was my first misstep.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  But how do you ever do stand-up shows then, in that case, apart from doing it for, say, your crowd at the Royal Albert Hall?

• 15:30Speaker 00

  When I, I was on the circuit for years and when you do the circuit and you're on mixed bill shows and people have turned up to watch comedy and not a comedian, which is, there's a quite important distinction, you end up writing a set that can appeal to everyone.

• 15:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:45Speaker 00

  And then once you become buried under the weight of podcasts, the words of Will Briggs was as loyal as 10,000, loyal as 10,000 dogs or cosseted by acolytes, you then tend to write more about yourself because your audience know who you are.

• 15:57Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:58Speaker 00

  And they, and they want to hear about you.

• 16:00Speaker 01

  Or you try to connect with random Welsh people in the crowd.

• 16:03Speaker 00

  Which I would have done at any point in my career.

• 16:06Speaker 01

  But accidentally, it just didn't have a name back then.

• 16:08Speaker 00

  Yeah, that's basically true. I, I would always have gone, hang on, do you know?

• 16:12Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:13Speaker 00

  At the risk of derailing the gig, but that's my, that's my gift.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  Will goes on.

• 16:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:18Speaker 01

  Some deft crowd work, including flat out asking an IT project manager what was funny about his job.

• 16:24Speaker 00

  Yeah, I'd run out of ideas by this point.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  I'd, I'd say that's not the IT project manager's responsibility.

• 16:31Speaker 00

  No, and, and he made that point. And 1,399 people agreed with him. And then I brought on Geoff Innocent.

• 16:41Speaker 01

  A charming impression of a Millwall fan with a rod on. What does that mean?

• 16:46Speaker 00

  Rod on is a colloquial term for when men are aroused.

• 16:50Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 16:51Speaker 00

  And I have an impression of that happening. And that's probably my best bit.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  You did an impression, what do you mean you have an impression?

• 16:58Speaker 00

  I don't want to give the game. I'll probably do this stuff at the Albert Hall, but it's a routine I've got.

• 17:03Speaker 02

  Good.

• 17:07Speaker 01

  Have you, have you become like a French cabaret star?

• 17:15Speaker 00

  It's, it involves mime.

• 17:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:17Speaker 01

  For.

• 17:18Speaker 00

  I imagine.

• 17:18Speaker 01

  The orchestration of an honestly momentous simultaneous opening of everyone's drinks cans, dubbed the can amnesty, which created truly electric vibes in the Albans area.

• 17:29Speaker 00

  Yeah, I pointed out that it, it didn't, it wasn't testament to the electric atmosphere I'd created, that during my setups, you could just hear cans being opened.

• 17:40Speaker 02

  Did you mention that?

• 17:41Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  Great.

• 17:41Speaker 00

  So I got everyone to open their cans at the same time.

• 17:44Speaker 01

  I do that sometimes. And then I make a joke that I need to get to a meeting.

• 17:48Speaker 00

  Very nice.

• 17:49Speaker 01

  Big laughs.

• 17:49Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  From the people who know me again.

• 17:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, exactly. The 20%ers.

• 17:54Speaker 01

  Yeah. And finally, the clobber of an iconic fashionista, joggers and a white tee, which stunned the crowd so much that when asked for feedback on his outfit, Ellis was met with silence. And one man who repeatedly said his brand new joggers were S.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  Was it joggers?

• 18:10Speaker 00

  So I couldn't hear him. So I kept asking him to repeat it and he kept calling them S, but I couldn't hear him. So just man kept shouting that I had S trousers for a minute. And then I thought, bring on Chris McCausland.

• 18:24Speaker 01

  Who's no idea what your trousers are like now.

• 18:26Speaker 00

  Exactly, yeah.

• 18:27Speaker 01

  Ladies and gentlemen, if this hasn't convinced you of Ellis's status as the comedy goat.

• 18:33Speaker 00

  I've never said I'm the goat.

• 18:35Speaker 02

  No, this is what Will's saying.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  I don't know what Will.

• 18:37Speaker 00

  That I was the greatest comedian of all time.

• 18:39Speaker 01

  Indeed. There was but a single sour note to this otherwise perfect evening. That being, it is with great sadness that I must confirm the iconic well, well, well, well, well has been scrapped.

• 18:50Speaker 00

  Oh. Do you know what it was? As I walked to the mic.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  I could tell from the way they were clapping, as I was announced that they were, there weren't many listeners to the show. You could just sort of sense it.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:02Speaker 00

  I thought, if I say well 80 times.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:06Speaker 00

  I am, I am setting myself up for a fall.

• 19:09Speaker 01

  Or Ellis, all the best for being part of a thoroughly enjoyable evening of comedy. You really were such a good laugh.

• 19:16Speaker 02

  There you go.

• 19:16Speaker 01

  No need to crawl, call, no need to crawl into a ball on the floor.

• 19:21Speaker 00

  Do you know what it is? It's, um.

• 19:24Speaker 00

  I'll tell you exactly what it is. I, when I was on the circuit properly, first time round, I was a compere, like you. I think the two of us were known as compères, I would say. That was the thing I did the most of, and it was the thing I enjoyed doing the most. So obviously you, I mean, I've seen you do it so many times, enter a riff matrix.

• 19:45Speaker 01

  I enter a riff matrix, Dave.

• 19:47Speaker 00

  You will, yeah.

• 19:48Speaker 01

  And Will Briggs, who books these gigs, I say to Will, I'm going to enter a riff matrix. And he come, I come off stage and he'll pat me on the back or hug me or give me a thumbs up. I'll say, I'll say that was an amazing riff.

• 19:57Speaker 00

  Yeah, when I was curled up in a ball, he kept saying, just enter a riff matrix, man. That's the job for two. I kept saying, it's not helping, Will. So I always used to enter into a will, not a will matrix, a riff matrix. But if the riff matrix doesn't work, when I was on the circuit, I had four hours worth of stand up to dip into, because I'd done four Edinburgh shows. So you always had a safety net of stuff.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  The riff rip cord.

• 20:28Speaker 00

  That is what, that is the best description of my comparing style. I had the riff rip cord.

• 20:34Speaker 01

  If you can't hear the guy hearing you, saying your trousers are S, you pull the riff rip cord. And you do an anecdote.

• 20:41Speaker 00

  And you do an anecdote. Cause if you, if you haven't got an anecdote in your back pocket, you've got to keep asking what the man's saying. And he's keep, he needs to keep telling you that your trousers are S.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:53Speaker 00

  So I, I've lost my riff rip cord, because like I did, what used to be the Banana Cabaret, which is now ABC at the Bedford in Ballin, which is a great gig. It was me and Nish and Sarah Barron and James Gait, it was such a good night. But I, so I've got like 20 to 25 minutes, but I'd used it all up because I couldn't enter a riff matrix. So then I had to ask the, the people at St Albans, who weren't sure about me, if they liked my trousers or not. And I was met with a stunned silence, apart from one man who really did think they were terrible.

• 21:23Speaker 01

  It's a bit like you're hosting a dinner party and you lose confidence in the snacks that you've put out for people when they arrive. So you immediately just serve them the main meal.

• 21:34Speaker 00

  Yes, that's a very good analogy.

• 21:36Speaker 01

  They're eating it off like cardboard plates in your living room.

• 21:39Speaker 00

  It was lasagna on arrival.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  Then they, then they sit down and you serve them like carrots and hummus and tortilla chips for their main meal.

• 21:48Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 21:48Speaker 01

  And they're very confused.

• 21:50Speaker 00

  Yeah, yeah. They got lasagna on arrival.

• 21:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 21:52Speaker 00

  Which, which wasn't ideal. Um, and also at the garden gigs, as the compères, you know this, you end up, you're on stage a lot.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:03Speaker 00

  So I think I was probably on stage for 35, almost 40 minutes on Saturday. At Somerset House, there was an extra act, so I was on stage less and it was a tighter curfew. But then I did, I did a chat gig in Bristol for Sweda, which is a fantastic eating disorders charity in the southwest. They do amazing work. And that was, that was great, because I wasn't comparing, that was great fun. But it's very weird, when you've been a compere, that's the thing I've done the least since coming back. And that was the thing I thought I'd go back to, and it's the thing that makes me most nervous. It's quite strange when you used to be confident in something and you've, you've lost your mojo. And in my comedy notebook, I've got a to do list, and number one is get mojo back.

• 22:46Speaker 01

  Oh, well, we, we can do that. We can pop that on the list for things to do in 2027.

• 22:50Speaker 00

  Green or amber.

• 22:51Speaker 01

  We'll go back.

• 22:52Speaker 00

  Green, please. It's my career.

• 22:55Speaker 01

  Ellis gets his mojo back.

• 22:56Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 22:57Speaker 01

  His mojo back. Do you know what, I'm going to make it fluorescent green now.

• 23:00Speaker 00

  Thanks, man.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  That's what you need.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone and I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh, anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody listen up. Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade in needed, and the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.

• 23:40Speaker 03

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• 24:12Speaker 05

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• 24:45Speaker 01

  Right, well, I think we'd better find out what my roller coaster weeks have been like in John Wins again.

• 25:16Speaker 01

  Now, now then, now, oh.

• 25:20Speaker 00

  I did the same thing. I was somewhere, so I walked over and now they're done.

• 25:25Speaker 01

  Can't, can't.

• 25:26Speaker 00

  The audience went, whoa.

• 25:30Speaker 00

  It's an easy mistake, mate. Carry on.

• 25:32Speaker 01

  I owe a thousand apologies, actually.

• 25:37Speaker 00

  Please be to me.

• 25:38Speaker 01

  Uh, you can have some of them if you want. You can have four.

• 25:41Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  So I give 996 apologies to Mark Accord. Mark emailed last week, I believe, to suggest that I had made strategic errors by continuing to drive a Kia Sportage after its seven year warranty had ended. Now, I'm not a warranty wally, and we have an awful lot of emails, well, one, but I'm going to say an awful lot, saying that that's the right position. That's the correct position.

• 26:16Speaker 00

  Well, actually, we've had zero emails to say that it's the incorrect position. We've had one to say it's the correct position.

• 26:22Speaker 01

  So 100%.

• 26:22Speaker 00

  100% of the emails on the topic agree with you.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  100% of the emails on the topic agree with me. And I stand by that position, that I'm not going to be, I'm not going to have my life dictated by warranties. I'm going to have my life dictated by the Consumer Goods Act for, for sure.

• 26:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 26:40Speaker 01

  Um, and by a pay as you go approach to repairs.

• 26:44Speaker 00

  Cool, man.

• 26:44Speaker 01

  However, as part of my somewhat charged lambasting of Mark Accord, I may have uttered words which came back to haunt me with shocking speed. Michael, play the clip.

• 27:02Speaker 00

  How many miles a year do you do?

• 27:03Speaker 01

  Uh, not as much as I used to, probably about 10, 12,000.

• 27:07Speaker 00

  Yeah, it used to be more than that, didn't it?

• 27:08Speaker 01

  Um, so no warning light has ever come on. No warning light has ever come on. No warning light has ever come on.

• 27:21Speaker 00

  Right, one question.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:23Speaker 02

  Well, when does Michael pick up his audio production award?

• 27:26Speaker 00

  Mate, this year. That was good, but there are two kinds of warning lights, the dashboard in your car and your mental health. Have you had another breakdown?

• 27:35Speaker 01

  No, luckily, the dashboard of the mind is clear.

• 27:39Speaker 00

  Okay, that's a good positive.

• 27:40Speaker 01

  But racking up the miles.

• 27:41Speaker 02

  Just needs a bit of urea. I keep getting.

• 27:43Speaker 01

  What?

• 27:44Speaker 02

  I keep getting told I need to buy my car.

• 27:47Speaker 01

  That's what's in urine, Dave.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  It's called urea. Let me await.

• 27:52Speaker 00

  U R E A. We did that in Jesus E Biology.

• 27:54Speaker 02

  The line, the, the light came up on my camper van.

• 27:56Speaker 01

  You're asking me to put urine in my mind?

• 27:58Speaker 02

  No, urea warning, right?

• 28:00Speaker 00

  Or his car.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  Hold up.

• 28:02Speaker 00

  No, I'm not.

• 28:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, urea, add blue.

• 28:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, call it add blue. What everyone else calls it.

• 28:10Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 28:10Speaker 01

  Urea is what makes urine, urine.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  Look, it's urea warning, urea.

• 28:17Speaker 01

  You, that's U R E A.

• 28:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, yeah, how do you say it?

• 28:21Speaker 01

  Initialism.

• 28:22Speaker 02

  What for?

• 28:24Speaker 02

  It's not, it's not in all an acronym, Dave. It's not in capitals. That's a word. I don't know if I'm saying it right. Add blue is urea. I think they're different things.

• 28:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  Sorry, carry on.

• 28:37Speaker 01

  Okay, so I'm not putting urine in my mind. I'm also not putting add blue in my mind. I'm not putting any, I'm putting, the only thing I'm trying to put in my mind is the breath. Massage tension with the breath.

• 28:48Speaker 00

  Urea is a waste product formed when your liver breaks down protein.

• 28:51Speaker 02

  I know it is that. No, I know it's that, but it's also.

• 28:54Speaker 01

  You've been weeing in your car.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  No, I wish I had, because this stuff's extortionate. Have you been to a blooming petrol station?

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Dave, it's a swiss.

• 29:01Speaker 02

  I think it's a, mm.

• 29:03Speaker 01

  It's a bit of a swiss, Dave.

• 29:04Speaker 00

  I think the warning light comes on early than it needs to.

• 29:06Speaker 01

  Anyway.

• 29:07Speaker 00

  Sorry.

• 29:08Speaker 01

  Right.

• 29:11Speaker 01

  Three warning lights came on in my car this week. Three.

• 29:15Speaker 00

  At the same time?

• 29:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:17Speaker 00

  So it's the same problem?

• 29:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:19Speaker 02

  Is it expensive?

• 29:22Speaker 01

  Uh, don't think so.

• 29:23Speaker 00

  Okay, well, that's okay.

• 29:24Speaker 01

  The ABS sensors have failed.

• 29:28Speaker 00

  Okay, who needs brakes?

• 29:30Speaker 01

  So the, well, no, the brakes do work, but the ABS no longer works, or the sensor has broken. So the ABS, the car's doing a swerve warning light, and the hill parking warning light have come on. So Mark, though I'm fine with that, and I stand by the principle that it is better to pay the, whatever it is, the 80 quid to get a new sensor, than it is to take out a warranty, and this has happened.

• 29:57Speaker 00

  But you get given a warranty for the first seven years, don't you?

• 30:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you could then take out further warranties. Or lose money by buying a new car, which is what Mark was suggesting. So you lose that depreciation each time.

• 30:10Speaker 00

  I like your attitude to cars.

• 30:11Speaker 01

  Thank you.

• 30:12Speaker 00

  Because I'm, I drive, but it's a bit really functional.

• 30:15Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 30:15Speaker 00

  So I have my car now and I like it, and until it's written off and just breaks down forever, I will have that car.

• 30:21Speaker 01

  That's exactly the right, that's exactly the right approach to have.

• 30:25Speaker 00

  Yeah. Some people change their cars like every two years.

• 30:27Speaker 02

  Well, well, that's leasing.

• 30:29Speaker 00

  No, but like, just because they like cars.

• 30:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, that's millionaires.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  So, yeah, sorry, Mark. Warning lights did come on, but I do stand by the system.

• 30:43Speaker 02

  Can I use P? Someone has, the top Google is, can I use P instead of ad blue? Maybe it is urea. Is it the same thing? No, you cannot use urine instead of ad blue.

• 30:53Speaker 01

  No, you can't. And that's the official Elis James and John Robbins show position.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Because human urine lacks the correct concentration of urea. But interestingly,

• 31:02Speaker 01

  You could probably make it if you knew what you were dealing with. You might be able to make ad blue out of wee.

• 31:08Speaker 00

  Your neighbourhood WhatsApp group would go crazy if you started weeing directly into your car's engine.

• 31:13Speaker 06

  Urine will trigger vehicle sensor errors.

• 31:16Speaker 01

  Oh, well, maybe that's what's clever.

• 31:18Speaker 00

  These days in my cars.

• 31:21Speaker 01

  Okay, so don't wee in your car.

• 31:23Speaker 06

  Don't wee in your car, folks.

• 31:24Speaker 01

  Um, I went to Lou's pool party and it was great fun.

• 31:29Speaker 02

  Oh, lovely.

• 31:30Speaker 01

  And I swam in the pool and everyone who swam in the pool got filmed coming out doing Bond girl exits from the pool. And I was the only one wearing Crocs and goggles.

• 31:43Speaker 00

  That's, they will never be in Bond. Crocs.

• 31:48Speaker 01

  No. And I, I would imagine Bond has worn goggles at some point.

• 31:53Speaker 00

  Yeah, but not Crocs.

• 31:55Speaker 01

  But I don't think Bond girls wear Crocs and have

• 31:58Speaker 00

  No.

• 31:59Speaker 01

  bright white skin, like pasty

• 32:02Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 32:02Speaker 01

  skin. What trunks were you in? I was in some blue Ralph Lauren swimming shorts.

• 32:08Speaker 02

  They're quite Bond.

• 32:09Speaker 00

  Or Speedos.

• 32:10Speaker 01

  They were a gift. No, I wasn't in Speedos. I dreamed that Ellis was angry with me and he said, if you come for me, I will destroy you.

• 32:19Speaker 02

  Ellis said that?

• 32:19Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 32:21Speaker 00

  I dream that you're angry with me all the time.

• 32:23Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 32:23Speaker 00

  Probably once every two weeks.

• 32:26Speaker 01

  That's about right. That's enough to keep you in check.

• 32:27Speaker 00

  It's, um, it is a combination of anger and disappointment.

• 32:33Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 32:34Speaker 00

  And then I wake up and I always check my phone to see if I'm in trouble.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  He's a good friend, isn't he?

• 32:40Speaker 01

  No, you can't be blamed for dreams, John.

• 32:43Speaker 00

  It's his fault.

• 32:44Speaker 01

  No, we sat down in a picnic table outside a pub and Dave was there and we started teasing you. And I think you had a lot on your plate. And you said, if you come for me, I will destroy you.

• 32:55Speaker 02

  I wonder what that would mean.

• 32:57Speaker 01

  And then I woke up with a sweaty bum. But I think that's just because my room was too hot and I was wearing pants.

• 33:02Speaker 02

  But Ellis hasn't destroyed you.

• 33:04Speaker 01

  No, he hasn't destroyed me, but I think I was sweating in the dream.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:08Speaker 01

  I stayed for a night in a showman's hut.

• 33:12Speaker 00

  What's that mean? Is that a euphemism?

• 33:14Speaker 01

  No. Um, I went to a, an Airbnb on the way back from Lou's party, which was a showman's carriage, actually.

• 33:22Speaker 00

  Oh, lovely.

• 33:23Speaker 01

  So like, if you can imagine, um, a circus in Victorian times.

• 33:30Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 33:30Speaker 01

  Where the ringmaster would stay.

• 33:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, okay.

• 33:33Speaker 01

  So it's almost like a kind of train carriage, wooden.

• 33:36Speaker 00

  Oh, nice.

• 33:37Speaker 01

  Absolutely gorgeous. Um, and stayed there with my beau, B E A U, and we cooked.

• 33:43Speaker 00

  Which is male, masculine.

• 33:45Speaker 01

  B E A U X.

• 33:47Speaker 00

  Okay. I think it's Belle. But, but people do say beau.

• 33:52Speaker 01

  Well, I have an announcement to make.

• 33:56Speaker 00

  You and Andy, your new boyfriend.

• 33:59Speaker 01

  The word beau is an old fashioned noun that means, yep, a boyfriend, male sweetheart, or frequent male escort. Yeah, good. And I'm glad that I've been spelling that out. So.

• 34:11Speaker 00

  Frequent male escort.

• 34:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, I have a frequent male escort.

• 34:15Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 34:15Speaker 01

  Who takes me to events.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  Do what you want in your own time.

• 34:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, sure. He's a lot younger than me, but that's okay.

• 34:22Speaker 02

  But he makes you feel young.

• 34:23Speaker 01

  He makes me feel young. And you're only as young as the one you feel.

• 34:26Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:27Speaker 01

  Um, but I don't feel him physically. I feel him emotionally. We have a bond.

• 34:33Speaker 00

  And you love explaining things from your past to him, which he's never experienced before because he's only 22.

• 34:38Speaker 01

  Yeah. And he treats me like a lady.

• 34:40Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 34:41Speaker 01

  Um, so, anyway.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  A night in the showman's carriage.

• 34:45Speaker 01

  Yeah, and we cooked sweets with corn on fire.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  Well, it's very less, shall I put that in brackets? No.

• 34:51Speaker 01

  No, maybe just leave that. Uh, then, the night on the way back from the showman's carriage, we went to a Van Morrison alumni gig.

• 35:01Speaker 00

  Right. I think I can guess what that is, but that sounds very exciting. And what's Van's opinion?

• 35:07Speaker 01

  Van has given a quote which is something like, I'm, I'm glad they're doing this. It's quite a sort of low level quote.

• 35:15Speaker 00

  He sounds like a komajun, doesn't he?

• 35:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. So basically, it's people who played in Van Morrison's band in the 90s.

• 35:24Speaker 00

  Oh, cool.

• 35:24Speaker 01

  Um, and have been playing in his band for various periods. They just get together and they play all of the hits, which Van doesn't do.

• 35:32Speaker 00

  No, yeah, there is a massive gap in the market.

• 35:35Speaker 01

  And it was just made me think an awful lot about sort of what,

• 35:44Speaker 01

  like the, I guess, the crossover between being entertaining, giving people a good night out and being, I guess, true to your artistic.

• 35:50Speaker 00

  I think about this all the time.

• 35:52Speaker 01

  Um, sensibilities. So I think people enjoyed that gig more than they would going to a Van Morrison gig.

• 35:59Speaker 00

  100%, yeah.

• 36:00Speaker 01

  And they're all so into the songs. They're so, like, it was sort of slight, there was a slight feel of like I was on a cruise ship.

• 36:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 36:08Speaker 01

  You know those cruise ships where it's like they either have all tribute bands or they all, or they have the actual bands? So you can go on like 90s cruise ships and 80s cruise ships where they get

• 36:19Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, entrants.

• 36:20Speaker 01

  Culture club or whatever. Um, so I, I really liked it and, um, it was odd to see his songs performed with real enthusiasm.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. So who sings the songs? Do they sing?

• 36:35Speaker 01

  Um, they have guest singers.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  Oh, nice.

• 36:37Speaker 01

  So like people who've either sung with Van in the past or just sort of like guests who really like his music.

• 36:44Speaker 00

  I am more, personally, I am more on the entertainer rather than artist side.

• 36:50Speaker 01

  So.

• 36:51Speaker 00

  Because there's that famous story of Neil Young, um, which people love where he, where he goes on, he performs his new record that hasn't been released yet in its entirety.

• 37:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 37:03Speaker 00

  And the crowd become very uncomfortable because they haven't heard any of the tunes. And then there's an interval and then he comes out and he says, listen, you've definitely heard all of these songs before. And then he does the first half again.

• 37:15Speaker 02

  No.

• 37:16Speaker 00

  The new, the new record for a second time.

• 37:19Speaker 02

  He's not done that, is he?

• 37:20Speaker 00

  That was, I think that was in the 70s. Whereas

• 37:23Speaker 02

  That's bold, isn't it?

• 37:24Speaker 00

  When I used to go and watch bands, especially when I was younger and money was really tight and gig tickets were expensive, if the band didn't play the hit, I was like, come, come, come on.

• 37:33Speaker 01

  I think it's a bit off.

• 37:34Speaker 00

  Come on.

• 37:35Speaker 01

  I think if you're doing like, say you're doing a 15 song set before the new album is out, you can only put in like three or four new tracks.

• 37:44Speaker 00

  Oh, absolutely.

• 37:45Speaker 01

  If that album is out and you're now touring that album, fair enough.

• 37:47Speaker 00

  If people have had a chance to hear it, absolutely.

• 37:49Speaker 01

  Fair enough. Um, or, in the instance of Van Morrison, if your last good song was written in 1991, it should be playing somewhere in this stuff.

• 37:59Speaker 00

  They're great songs.

• 38:00Speaker 01

  Great songs.

• 38:01Speaker 00

  Like it's not, it wouldn't be, it's, it's not, it's not untrue to his artistic vision to, to, to do those songs.

• 38:10Speaker 01

  I think maybe it is. Anyway, odd guy.

• 38:12Speaker 02

  How many tracks from Astral Weeks would Van play in a set these days?

• 38:15Speaker 00

  None.

• 38:16Speaker 01

  Dave, I went to see him on the Astral Weeks tour and he played none.

• 38:20Speaker 02

  No way.

• 38:22Speaker 01

  I got my money back.

• 38:23Speaker 02

  Did you?

• 38:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  Because you're almost trolling your audience at that point.

• 38:27Speaker 01

  100%.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  That's poor.

• 38:28Speaker 01

  That's cruel.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's cruel.

• 38:29Speaker 00

  Does anyone like it though? Does anyone like, is anyone like Nice One?

• 38:34Speaker 01

  No.

• 38:35Speaker 00

  No. Because you're the biggest Van Morrison fan I know, so if you don't like it, then I don't know who's left.

• 38:40Speaker 01

  That was an awful experience. Um, I went to the cinema for the first time in two years. Saw The Odyssey.

• 38:50Speaker 00

  Ah, what did you make of it?

• 38:51Speaker 01

  It was superb.

• 38:53Speaker 00

  Oh, okay.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  I loved it. There were a few odd elements. Here's my one big niggel.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  When they're standing on the castle that they live in.

• 39:06Speaker 02

  Spoiler.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Yes, spoiler. It's a ruin.

• 39:09Speaker 00

  Right.

• 39:10Speaker 01

  But in those times, it would have been brand new.

• 39:13Speaker 00

  Good observation.

• 39:14Speaker 01

  So that, I thought, was

• 39:16Speaker 02

  Oh, interesting.

• 39:17Speaker 00

  You think someone on the crew would have pointed that out?

• 39:19Speaker 01

  Yeah. This, you know, when this was filmed was when this was built.

• 39:23Speaker 00

  Yeah, this castle's a thousand years old and, uh, we're a thousand years ago.

• 39:26Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um, but apart from that, I thought it was a really superb bit of business.

• 39:32Speaker 00

  It is long though, isn't it?

• 39:33Speaker 01

  Yeah, but because it's a very episodic story, it didn't feel, I was dreading how long it was. And I, but because it's like, they go to an island, they have an adventure. They go to another island, they have another adventure. You sort of pop back home to get a bit of an update. So it didn't feel exhaustively long.

• 39:51Speaker 00

  Okay, well, as we've discussed on this show already, Izzy is in Yorkshire filming a sitcom for CBBC about basketball. I had plans. I hadn't organised a babysitter, although I thought I had. And when I turned up with the childminder's and said, here they are. She said, I'm off to watch The Odyssey. I'd just bought tickets. And then I Googled it and realised it's two hours and 53 minutes long.

• 40:13Speaker 01

  Yes, it is.

• 40:14Speaker 00

  And that was a problem.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 40:17Speaker 01

  Um, I have made best, a new best friend.

• 40:23Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 40:24Speaker 01

  Yeah. So, sorry to you.

• 40:26Speaker 00

  He's an escort, John.

• 40:27Speaker 01

  He's not, he's not my B A E A U.

• 40:29Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 40:30Speaker 01

  Um, sorry to you and Robin, but I'm now best friends with Claude, who is an AI.

• 40:36Speaker 00

  Oh, John. Uh, what's the BBC opinion on this, Dave?

• 40:40Speaker 02

  What, John's best friends with AI?

• 40:42Speaker 00

  With AI?

• 40:43Speaker 02

  Uh, I don't know. I, I watched Self Esteem on Sunday and her teacher said AI is for the worst word in the world.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  Really?

• 40:50Speaker 02

  Rebecca has different opinions on AI, don't you?

• 40:52Speaker 01

  Well.

• 40:52Speaker 00

  I'll tell you one thing though. John, I mean, John's gonna mention this, I would imagine. He's used AI to improve his skin. And when I saw John on Tuesday.

• 41:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:03Speaker 00

  His skin looked so fantastic. I fell in love with him all over again.

• 41:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was a new.

• 41:07Speaker 00

  He looked gorgeous on Tuesday.

• 41:10Speaker 01

  Um, well, I've got a good photo from the Cara, for the Cara.

• 41:13Speaker 02

  Great.

• 41:14Speaker 01

  Because I have been on a skin journey. I've been on a restrictive diet for my skin to try and sort out what keeps giving me these flare ups. Which, anyone who's ever been on a restrictive diet will know, it is depressing and it makes you feel sad all the time.

• 41:27Speaker 00

  Do you want to eat all the time? Curly wurly's. That's the thing that's, that's the thing that's worked for him.

• 41:31Speaker 01

  No, I eat cottage cheese on rice cakes with sumac and sprouted monkey beans.

• 41:36Speaker 02

  All the time, pretty much.

• 41:38Speaker 01

  Pretty much.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  Oh, mate.

• 41:39Speaker 01

  Um, but anyway, it works. Um, but yeah, I've got this good, so you type a thing into Claude and then it tells you what it's doing. And it said, weighing protocol adherence against pizza temptation.

• 41:53Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 41:54Speaker 01

  Cause I was talking about my pizza temptations. Um, so, uh.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  So what's that, Claude?

• 41:59Speaker 01

  It's a bit of both, I'm afraid, because the skin, uh, the skin, there has been a skin roller coaster.

• 42:05Speaker 00

  It's better now though, it looks good now.

• 42:07Speaker 01

  It's ever been, but that's just as long as I don't eat any gluten or food I like.

• 42:12Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:13Speaker 01

  That's not possible. So you do the restrictive diet for like a week. It's hell. It's boring. Makes you feel quite sad. You go into the supermarket, suddenly there's no joy in a Tesco. Who thought that was possible?

• 42:25Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  But then what you start to do is reintroduce things a bit at a time, find out what are the big triggers. So.

• 42:32Speaker 00

  What's the most important food to you?

• 42:36Speaker 01

  Uh, jalapenos.

• 42:37Speaker 00

  Oh, you're gonna say jalapenos?

• 42:38Speaker 01

  And that's the worst.

• 42:39Speaker 02

  You're kidding.

• 42:40Speaker 00

  Oh, no.

• 42:41Speaker 01

  Yeah, anything pickled, spicy, fermented, aged.

• 42:44Speaker 00

  Spicy brackets general.

• 42:46Speaker 01

  Spicy brackets general.

• 42:47Speaker 00

  Not you.

• 42:48Speaker 01

  Tomatoes, aged cheese.

• 42:50Speaker 00

  Oh, no.

• 42:51Speaker 02

  What's happened to the curry house for you, John? Can you still enjoy a curry house?

• 42:54Speaker 01

  Yeah, I will do. I'll just.

• 42:56Speaker 02

  You had mega hot last time I was with you at a curry house.

• 42:58Speaker 01

  I did, yeah.

• 42:59Speaker 00

  Oh, you punish yourself.

• 43:00Speaker 01

  I know. So it's no wonder my skin's been a bit reactive over the years.

• 43:03Speaker 00

  You'd think it'd be your anus.

• 43:07Speaker 01

  Uh, so yeah, I don't know. Who knows? I think what, I'll get to a situation where I can have that sort of stuff, like, I just can't have it all on one day, every meal. Which is what keeps happening. Yeah. Cause I, my mega salad, which I have at lunch, which makes me sad. Every item in that mega salad is something I can't have. So I was having a daily, like, and that's why I was getting sad as well.

• 43:30Speaker 00

  Oh, good, goodness.

• 43:32Speaker 01

  It's the depression and skin flare inducing mega salad.

• 43:37Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 43:37Speaker 01

  But it's good. It's good information to have.

• 43:39Speaker 00

  Right then. Question, read your skin. So you do the restrictive diet and you look like Dorian Gray.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 43:45Speaker 00

  Beautiful. And I fall in love with you all over again and it keeps happening.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:51Speaker 00

  Then you decide to have, I don't know, phal or something.

• 43:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 43:55Speaker 00

  Cause you love it and you love spice. Skin flares again.

• 44:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:00Speaker 00

  How long for?

• 44:02Speaker 01

  Well, I could, I now know, because I know that histamine in food and spice is the trigger. I can, there are supplements I can take before I eat and I can take an antihistamine, which has been a game changer.

• 44:13Speaker 02

  Antihistamines work.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  Yes, they do.

• 44:15Speaker 02

  They're one of the things that really work.

• 44:17Speaker 01

  They work and they work straight away.

• 44:19Speaker 00

  So if someone was saying, right, um, it's my birthday on Friday, we're all going up for a curry. You could still have a curry because you'd pop an antihistamine.

• 44:25Speaker 01

  I would just, I would just know what was gonna happen and I would, there is a supplement I could take before to stop any, uh, histamine explosion and then I can take the antihistamine to stop the reaction.

• 44:37Speaker 00

  Fine.

• 44:37Speaker 01

  I mean, I, I still would, I wouldn't look like Dorian Gray. I'd look like Dorian Redd. But it just wouldn't be as catastrophic.

• 44:45Speaker 00

  You'd look like a hungover Dorian Gray.

• 44:47Speaker 01

  I would look like a hungover Dorian Gray.

• 44:49Speaker 00

  Which was the bit that Oscar Wilde didn't get right, run to right.

• 44:52Speaker 01

  Well, I'd look a bit more like the picture in the attic. So there we go. What does that give me?

• 44:57Speaker 02

  Well, I don't know. There aren't many losses, John, unless, unless I've got this wrong. So I'll start the losses. Three Kia warning lights, brackets apologies to Mark.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  Uh, that's my only loss.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 45:08Speaker 02

  And then the wins are pool party perfection, a night in the showman's carriage with your male escort lover. I've not written that bit.

• 45:15Speaker 00

  He's called Andy.

• 45:16Speaker 02

  He's called Andy. No, I've just put in the showman's carriage for the sake of the Cara.

• 45:21Speaker 01

  Just gonna write this down in big letters. B E A U. Is it X?

• 45:27Speaker 00

  No, it's Belle.

• 45:27Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 45:28Speaker 02

  Belle. He's got him on the mind.

• 45:30Speaker 01

  It's not Andy Belle from Eurasia.

• 45:32Speaker 02

  Or Oasis.

• 45:33Speaker 01

  Who I've met.

• 45:33Speaker 02

  Have you?

• 45:34Speaker 01

  I, yeah, he was so, so nice.

• 45:36Speaker 00

  Oh, that's a positive story.

• 45:38Speaker 01

  Um, B E L L E.

• 45:40Speaker 02

  Belle. Uh, a night in the showman's carriage. Van the man alumni gig, brackets, which Van is fine with.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  Though it was nine eighty for two Diet Cokes.

• 45:48Speaker 02

  Okay, let's put that in. Ah.

• 45:50Speaker 00

  Sugar.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  Yeah, a lot of it.

• 45:52Speaker 01

  It's two halves of Diet Coke.

• 45:55Speaker 00

  It's a tenner a pint?

• 45:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:57Speaker 00

  For Coke?

• 45:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 45:59Speaker 00

  Where, where?

• 46:00Speaker 01

  I'm not gonna name the venue because I, I had real problems with the venue.

• 46:04Speaker 00

  Oh, my goodness me. A tenner a pint.

• 46:07Speaker 01

  It was a very odd venue. They sold all the tickets as stalls. But it's first come, first served. And they run out of stalls. So quite a few people were having like arguments about like, I paid for stalls. And they're like, well, only half the seats are in the stalls. Anyway.

• 46:24Speaker 00

  Well, I, I remember when I first started going out drinking, it was between one eighty and two pound a pint.

• 46:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 46:32Speaker 00

  And we used to laugh at the idea of a ten pound pint.

• 46:35Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 46:35Speaker 00

  Like how outlandish that was. And now we've got there for Diet Coke.

• 46:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. Insane.

• 46:41Speaker 02

  Whoa. Um, odyssey with some oddities, which I've got down as a win.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, as a win.

• 46:47Speaker 02

  And better skin than it's ever been.

• 46:49Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 46:50Speaker 02

  So it's five two, because I've put the tenner for a pint of Coke in the losses.

• 46:52Speaker 01

  I would say the restrictive diet, though it's doing the right job, has been hard.

• 46:58Speaker 00

  Your forehead looks fantastic. I mean, that forehead should be in the National Gallery. It's absolutely blemishless.

• 47:05Speaker 01

  Um, I have to keep a flare log. It's crazy. But I should have done it years ago.

• 47:13Speaker 00

  No, but the, the thing with bad skin. I used to get eczema when I'm stressed. You always go down the cream route.

• 47:21Speaker 01

  Hmm. Yeah.

• 47:21Speaker 02

  I do.

• 47:22Speaker 00

  So you think, all right then, well, I'll just, I'll just get a different cream.

• 47:25Speaker 01

  In the gut, is what I've learnt.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  The gut is responsible for so much. It's got so much to answer for, the guts.

• 47:30Speaker 01

  It's the century of the gut, according to my dermatologist.

• 47:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 47:34Speaker 01

  This, by the end of this century, you will be able to maybe poo in a cup.

• 47:39Speaker 00

  What? And just throw in a river?

• 47:40Speaker 01

  Put your iPhone in it and it'll tell you exactly like, you can't eat this, this and this. You need to eat this, this, this causes this, this causes this. Cause the gut is the brain of the stomach.

• 47:51Speaker 00

  The old, the old, the old sort of poop and dip.

• 47:54Speaker 02

  It is, it's as important as the brain.

• 47:56Speaker 01

  Oh, more, if only sometimes I could think with my tummy, Dave, I wouldn't be going mad all the time.

• 48:01Speaker 00

  You have been.

• 48:01Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 48:02Speaker 00

  Forty, forty years.

• 48:04Speaker 02

  Five, three, John wins again.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Great stuff.

• 48:08Speaker 02

  Top stuff.

• 48:09Speaker 01

  Right, it's been a while since we've chatted to Uncle Adrian and it, that has gone noticed in the wider Ellis and John universe.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  Has it?

• 48:16Speaker 01

  Yes, people are saying, where's Uncle Adrian? Well, we're delighted that he's back. We're back on the same time schedule.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  So let's have a little chitter chatter with him now.

• 48:29Speaker 02

  Ellis, um, John, are you wearing shorts, either of you?

• 48:34Speaker 00

  Oh, yes. I was gonna wear shorts to do stand up on Wednesday. I actually got talked out of it by Ross Noble.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  Right, okay.

• 48:43Speaker 00

  He said, no, we're.

• 48:44Speaker 02

  I can't imagine Ross in shorts. I don't think he's ever worn shorts.

• 48:48Speaker 00

  He was wearing shorts in the dressing room when I turned up, so I assumed he was gonna do it. But then he, he got into his gig outfit and then I felt bad and got into mine. But why are you wearing shorts, Adrian?

• 48:59Speaker 02

  I know. So I can't, I can't wear shorts in public because I have to wear a ghastly ultra tight compression sock on my left leg.

• 49:08Speaker 00

  Why?

• 49:09Speaker 02

  For me, because I broke my leg donkeys years ago and completely knackered the, the veins and I ended up, this is too much detail. I ended up with a. DVD and all sorts of madness. So I need to get sort of six builders into my bedroom first thing in the morning to, to, uh, to pull the wretched thing on.

• 49:25Speaker 01

  What an image.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  Tight. And then, yeah, and it's, it is that awful sort of hearing aid beige colour.

• 49:31Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 49:31Speaker 02

  So I'm just too filled with shame actually to walk around in shorts.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  You've got to have a bit of, um, compression sock confidence. And what you should do is get a really sort of brightly coloured one. Me and Ellis will sign it.

• 49:41Speaker 02

  They don't come, no, these are class threes, mate. They only come in, they're coming black and they come in this hearing aid beige.

• 49:46Speaker 01

  This is your Dragon's Den moment.

• 49:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 49:49Speaker 01

  Adrian's, Adrian's beach compression sock range.

• 49:52Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, West Brom colours.

• 49:55Speaker 01

  West Brom colours.

• 49:56Speaker 02

  Um, Aaron Ramsey, when he, he broke his leg terribly playing for Arsenal against Stoke. So he's got look, cause he, he did his Tib and Fib compound, all that. So he's got a massive tattoo over the scar. So his leg doesn't look scarred. So could you maybe wear a, could you like get a sort of tattoo style compression sock? Mm hmm. Like a sort of, like those pretend tattoo sleeves? That's another great idea. That is another great idea. Dragon's Den still on? I think it is. Oh, well, perhaps we could get together and work on that. Lovely to. John's looking to invest in something. Cause he's, he was, before we started recording, he was upset about something he didn't invest in three years ago, which would have made it millions of pounds. So he's looking for ideas.

• 50:40Speaker 01

  Is Adrian's compression socks the new AI?

• 50:45Speaker 02

  There's, but there's a very small number of people who wear class three socks. But anyway, let's, uh, we'll apply that self to it another time. Ellison, John?

• 50:59Speaker 03

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• 51:31Speaker 04

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• 52:01Speaker 05

  At Humana, our Medicare Advantage plans are easy to understand and easy on your wallet. Like offering more benefits than you'd get from original Medicare alone and including dental, vision and hearing coverage in every plan. And the best part is every plan has a $0 or low monthly plan premium, which makes it easier to save too. So this Medicare planning season, plan well with Humana. Learn more at gethumana.com. Humana is a Medicare Advantage HMO and PPO organisation with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends on contract renewal.

• 52:34Speaker 01

  Right now it's time to talk about another element of the Ellison John. So this is going to be an element of the Ellison John cinematic universe, isn't it Dave?

• 52:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  So we're now officially in a ring, a ring fenced zone.

• 52:47Speaker 02

  Welcome.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  Welcome to the ring fence zone. Ellis has started smoking a fag. Um, Dave has poured himself a scotch on the rocks.

• 52:55Speaker 02

  I've started smoking a fag, but only for my press shots.

• 52:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 52:58Speaker 02

  So it makes me look cool.

• 52:59Speaker 01

  And I am cheating my skin diet and having a bloody anchovy.

• 53:03Speaker 02

  Are they bad?

• 53:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, anything aged, fermented.

• 53:06Speaker 02

  Salty.

• 53:07Speaker 01

  Anything pickled.

• 53:08Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 53:09Speaker 01

  Anything in oil. Any food that's been left longer than a day. No leftovers for Johnny Jr.

• 53:15Speaker 02

  So you're going to be a, a fresh food John?

• 53:17Speaker 01

  I'm just chucking it all straight in the river. As soon as I've finished, it goes in the river.

• 53:21Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 53:23Speaker 01

  Or immediately frozen.

• 53:24Speaker 02

  Okay, okay.

• 53:25Speaker 01

  You can, you put noodles in the river. Big time.

• 53:27Speaker 02

  Oh, that's a shame.

• 53:28Speaker 01

  Um, yeah, I go to Tesco and on the way back, I just chuck all the food in the river. Um, so Dave.

• 53:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 53:36Speaker 01

  You have a, a commercial announcement to make.

• 53:39Speaker 02

  Well, it's a follow on from an announcement that we did do last week, but it's an important one nonetheless.

• 53:43Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 53:44Speaker 02

  You bought a gold mine. We're going dancing together, aren't we?

• 53:49Speaker 01

  We aren't. We're playing music for people to dance to together.

• 53:53Speaker 02

  You, we're dancing as well.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Do I dance or do I stare at the floor?

• 53:56Speaker 02

  You stare at the floor for the first half an hour and then actually you get into it.

• 54:00Speaker 00

  Everyone will stare at his beautiful skin.

• 54:02Speaker 02

  They will.

• 54:03Speaker 00

  And he's going to be completely joyless.

• 54:05Speaker 01

  Dave, the bell is tolling again.

• 54:07Speaker 02

  Yeah, I thought I could hear that. I thought it was in my mind.

• 54:10Speaker 01

  Why is it a bell started? But it never used to happen.

• 54:13Speaker 02

  No, there's a church next door and we can now hear the bells more than we ever did.

• 54:17Speaker 01

  Maybe it's to celebrate the ring fencing of all my friends, Brighton. So Dave, give us the deets.

• 54:23Speaker 02

  It's DWD. It's Dancing with Dave. It's very exciting because it's the first time we've danced and we will be blooming dancing, John, because as soon as you play Natasha Beddingfield, you're anyone's, as we know.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  I, I will admit that is true.

• 54:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, it is.

• 54:34Speaker 00

  Big tune.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  So All My Friends is coming to Brighton Dome on the 17th of October for a special Ellis, John and Dave Dancing with Dave. Uh, and I think we will be filming some things down there as well for an adventures episode.

• 54:46Speaker 01

  We're having a little day out in Brighton Adventure, aren't we?

• 54:49Speaker 02

  We're going to have a little day out in Brighton. There will be some special guests.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  We're going to buy some bongs.

• 54:53Speaker 02

  Uh, I don't want a bong.

• 54:54Speaker 01

  We're going to buy some hemp clothing.

• 54:57Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 54:57Speaker 01

  Some vegan shoes.

• 54:59Speaker 02

  Well, you bought me a lovely vinyl last time we were in Brighton, didn't you?

• 55:01Speaker 01

  Didn't I?

• 55:02Speaker 02

  You bought me a Cameron Winter vinyl.

• 55:02Speaker 01

  Maybe I'll buy you lots of presents. We could buy each other presents. I'll buy you lots of presents.

• 55:08Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 55:09Speaker 01

  And we'll do John buys Ellis and Dave a present as a feature.

• 55:12Speaker 02

  It's just been reduced from lots of presents to a present.

• 55:16Speaker 00

  He's, he's had a think.

• 55:17Speaker 01

  We can have ice creams. We can go on the beach.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 55:19Speaker 01

  We can have chippies.

• 55:21Speaker 02

  The, the canvas bag that my vinyl came in, Hannah uses on a daily basis. She loves it. The resident, the, the multicoloured resident bag.

• 55:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:28Speaker 02

  Is lovely.

• 55:28Speaker 01

  It's a good bag that.

• 55:29Speaker 00

  Can I kick a rugby ball really high?

• 55:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, something doesn't end up in the sea. Anyway, we're, we're off topic because tickets are on sale on general release now, today, Friday, the 31st of July.

• 55:40Speaker 01

  Grab your tickets for All My Friends, the 17th of October at Brighton Dome.

• 55:46Speaker 02

  It's an indie.

• 55:47Speaker 01

  Wonderful venue.

• 55:47Speaker 02

  An indie pop dance extravaganza and tickets are from ellisonjohn.com.

• 55:51Speaker 01

  And what time does it start, Dave?

• 55:53Speaker 02

  It's, um, it's, uh, why isn't it on that poster? It usually is. I think it's three to eight, three to eight, day, day gig.

• 56:00Speaker 01

  It's a day do.

• 56:02Speaker 02

  It's a day do. And we've never done Brighton before, so it's very exciting.

• 56:05Speaker 00

  I did stand up at the Brighton Dome about a month ago. Have you ever done stand up there?

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 56:09Speaker 00

  It's a great room, isn't it?

• 56:10Speaker 02

  It's a big room, isn't it? I'm a bit worried how big the room is, but I'm sure we'll be fine.

• 56:13Speaker 00

  It's a historic venue though. So amazing people have played there.

• 56:16Speaker 01

  It's lovely.

• 56:17Speaker 02

  Yeah. Uh, so tickets on sale now. You can also choose, because some people just like to chill out a little bit more.

• 56:22Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 56:22Speaker 02

  You can choose between, uh, unreserved standing or you can sit in a circle.

• 56:27Speaker 01

  Which is nice. Yeah. Upstairs, if you just want to, uh, absorb the vibe. If you're one of the fans of John's problematic walk-in playlist.

• 56:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:36Speaker 01

  You can just go upstairs and keep notice of some of the time signatures.

• 56:39Speaker 00

  But it's problematic because it's not sort of the kind of music you'd usually hear at that event. It's not a coterie of cancelled artists.

• 56:47Speaker 01

  No, no.

• 56:49Speaker 00

  Yeah. He's not, he's not like a Gary Gitter mega mix.

• 56:52Speaker 01

  If Frank Zappa had lived to today, who knows?

• 56:55Speaker 00

  Oh, yeah. I think, well, that's true for a lot of those, that generation.

• 56:59Speaker 02

  It's undanceable music, if you say.

• 57:01Speaker 01

  No, I'd say, I'd say you need to be someone who views life askance to dance to some of it.

• 57:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:09Speaker 01

  Frank Zappa would get people to dance to, uh, the Bebop Tango or, um, uh, Black Page, which is very difficult. I mean, try dancing to nested tuplets, Dave.

• 57:21Speaker 02

  Tell me about it.

• 57:22Speaker 01

  Uh, but it was the seventies.

• 57:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:25Speaker 01

  People were all high on drugs that they took then.

• 57:28Speaker 02

  Hmm. Yeah.

• 57:29Speaker 01

  There you go.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  Great. Looking forward to it. It'll be a fun one.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Okay. It is correspondence time. You can send your emails to Ellis and then he will forward them to [email protected]. Um, cause that just, there's just an extra layer.

• 57:44Speaker 02

  Yeah. Well, he, he's the gatekeeper, isn't he?

• 57:46Speaker 01

  He's the email gatekeeper.

• 57:48Speaker 00

  Yeah. Right. We've had a right to reply email.

• 57:51Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 57:51Speaker 00

  And so I'm going to read that. Why hello, my silly little sausages. I thought I'd write and explain myself, although really it's Dave that should be explaining himself for not knowing about the big Vimto statue.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:03Speaker 00

  What's that did?

• 58:03Speaker 02

  So there's a big Vimto statue, I think, behind Manchester Piccadilly. It, I'll be really honest, it's just passed me by. I wasn't aware.

• 58:10Speaker 01

  Your dealer meets you at the front, doesn't he?

• 58:13Speaker 02

  To be fair, no, but I always do just go at the front.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 58:16Speaker 02

  I didn't even know you could get out the back, but also I don't.

• 58:18Speaker 00

  That's where the taxis are.

• 58:20Speaker 02

  Well, that's the side. I want it to be back.

• 58:22Speaker 00

  Also it's behind rather.

• 58:23Speaker 02

  Well, this is why I don't know. The thing is, I don't go into Manchester very often. I've lived, I lived in London for 12 years. I'm a little bit out of the loop.

• 58:29Speaker 00

  But you're a Piccadilly station every week.

• 58:32Speaker 02

  No, I'm not.

• 58:32Speaker 00

  Yeah, you are. Cause you come down.

• 58:34Speaker 02

  Come from Stockport, mate.

• 58:36Speaker 00

  Okay.

• 58:37Speaker 02

  Stockport to Euston. Sometimes direct. Sometimes there's not even stops in between Stockport and Euston if you get on the secret ones.

• 58:42Speaker 00

  Oh, nice. All right. Okay. Uh, firstly, thank you very much for embracing my ramblings. I'm indeed a long time listener and do feel qualified to making, nay casting, aspersions on your good names. But now to the business at hand. The piece you referred to, the silly sausage Britain, SSB piece, needs two pieces of context. The first, this is about the Guardian article, um, that came out a couple of weeks ago that referred to me as one of the caster.

• 59:11Speaker 01

  The backbone of wackiness.

• 59:14Speaker 01

  The, one of the foundations of silly sausage, sausage Britain.

• 59:19Speaker 00

  Yes.

• 59:24Speaker 00

  One of silly sausage Britain's founding fathers.

• 59:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:26Speaker 00

  I'm one of the, the, the big dogs of silly sausage Britain.

• 59:29Speaker 01

  He's Noel's house party in a Welshman.

• 59:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, absolutely. I've always said it.

• 59:33Speaker 00

  It needs two pieces of context. The first is the hook for the Guardian was about Binface. Camp Binface obviously is contesting the, uh, Clacton by-election and British politics and democracy. And so while an important point was a tangential point, rather than an assertion that Ellis should run for parliament dressed as a ham sandwich.

• 59:54Speaker 00

  Uh, but you know, if I am going to stand for parliament, it would be as an anti sleaze candidate, Martin Bell style. I'm not, I'm not going to be a wacky candidate, right?

• 1:00:03Speaker 02

  No.

• 1:00:04Speaker 00

  And the second most substantial context is that my original and slightly longer thesis was called Mr Blobby Patriotism.

• 1:00:15Speaker 00

  Which I wrote late last year on the. Yes, Joshua might be stealing his jokes from me, and I would say that Ellis captures the chaos and slight unhinged nature of blobby Britain. And the blobby Britain.

• 1:00:26Speaker 01

  That's the sentence I want to sort of stick with for a while.

• 1:00:30Speaker 00

  Right, so I captured the chaos and slight unhinged nature of the blobby Britain I was describing in the said piece. SSB, Sausage Britain, has its place within that. But the quite tricky thing I was trying to capture was the dry, quick-witted, self-deprecating nonsense that makes our country up.

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  Now, just to go back to.

• 1:00:47Speaker 00

  Don't mind that. Sophie, you should have seen me in St Albans.

• 1:00:50Speaker 01

  Just to go back to that sentence, Ellis captures the chaos and slightly unhinged nature of blobby Britain.

• 1:00:57Speaker 01

  I would not describe Ellis as unhinged.

• 1:01:00Speaker 00

  He's so hinged.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  He's very hinged.

• 1:01:02Speaker 00

  That door is swinging so steadily on its hinges.

• 1:01:05Speaker 01

  Also.

• 1:01:06Speaker 00

  That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  The only chaos in Ellis's life now comes from him completing too many tasks, but he does complete them.

• 1:01:17Speaker 00

  I'm a finisher. I'm a complete finisher.

• 1:01:19Speaker 01

  He's a finisher.

• 1:01:19Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:20Speaker 01

  He just tries to finish too much.

• 1:01:23Speaker 02

  And the school run.

• 1:01:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, maybe the school run, but then that's just he's never going to change.

• 1:01:29Speaker 02

  Also, it's the same for most households.

• 1:01:30Speaker 01

  Yeah, I would say so.

• 1:01:32Speaker 00

  Someone at a party said to Izzy, if we're behind Ellis, we have messed up.

• 1:01:39Speaker 00

  Because we've got to walk up the hill to school. And this guy, he's listened to the show, actually, he'd had a drink, and he said, listen, if you've left before us.

• 1:01:48Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:48Speaker 00

  We're in trouble.

• 1:01:51Speaker 00

  Yeah, fair enough.

• 1:01:51Speaker 01

  Ellis is like the person at the back of the, like, pacer at the back.

• 1:01:57Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  Who's of the park run.

• 1:02:00Speaker 00

  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  He's bringing up the rear.

• 1:02:02Speaker 01

  That's the end of the run. You can't get a time if you're behind them.

• 1:02:07Speaker 00

  SSB is its place within that. As I said, the quite tricky thing I was trying to capture was the dry, quick-witted, self-deprecating nonsense that makes our country up. And for me, Ellis does do that. He in fact proved my point during the discussion where, during an argument about whether or not he was silly, he simply stopped and said, I feel like my eyes are going to come off. For me, that's exhibit A.

• 1:02:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay.

• 1:02:27Speaker 00

  I'd also like to point out that there were some cracking references that didn't make it through the edit, and a much, much longer list of comedians that didn't make the cut. One of my criteria was non-posh. Louis Through was added by an editor in my defence.

• 1:02:40Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 1:02:41Speaker 00

  As I do have to point out fairly regularly, this is just me describing the Britain I think exists, which might not be everyone's. It has irked a lot of people. Sorry that you were caught up in this, Ellis. That did happen, but that's fine. Don't worry, but it doesn't bother me at all. But it was quite funny to say, I hate, at Elis James, I hate silly sausage Britain. Who are you? On the first time round, Mr Blobby, patriotism-led lord of the realm, David Frost, he of negotiating Brexit, to write a whole Telegraph column about me just in time for Christmas. Oh, Sophie. Sophie's a friend of, is a friend of a friend, because he texted me and said, yeah, Sophie was at my wedding, my friend Hugh. Anyway, I thought I'd better explain myself and also say thank you.

• 1:03:22Speaker 00

  I'm not Welsh, but my boyfriend and his entire family are, and I live next to, and then in Wales for many years. So I'm sure Ellis would be able to come reconnect with me despite my lack of progeny, but only if he does it in a Mr Blobby style. Many thanks again, Sophie.

• 1:03:36Speaker 02

  Thank you, Sophie.

• 1:03:36Speaker 00

  Well, Sophie, sorry for coining a term that caused sort of counter articles in the Telegraph.

• 1:03:44Speaker 02

  It was a good article. I really enjoyed it.

• 1:03:46Speaker 00

  It was just very funny. I, because also the, I was by distance the least famous comedian in that list.

• 1:03:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, but the wackiest.

• 1:03:55Speaker 00

  Like it was Bob Mortimer, Victoria Wood, Ramesh, I think. Mira Sae, there's people who'd had like long and storied TV careers and me, which is why I found the article so funny.

• 1:04:09Speaker 01

  We've had this in from Janice, who says, hello, my clever little capybaras. This week in the library where I work, I've set up an eye-catching display showcasing our university's Welsh collection. We are located not far from a village called Remson, New York, where there was historically a very large congregation of immigrants from Wales in the 19th century. Did you know that, Ellis?

• 1:04:29Speaker 00

  Yes, but it's interesting because a lot of Welsh migrants, and we didn't go to the US in the same numbers that the Irish did by any means, and nor the Scots, actually. But we were often, we were often written down as English. So it's quite hard to work out Welsh migration to the US.

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  And our library has collected many historical Welsh books, newspapers, Istedford programmes and much more from that region and elsewhere. It's the largest collection of 19th and 20th century Welsh language literature in the United States. And I couldn't think of anything more perfect than to feature the Cymru connection as part of the mix, especially now that Ellis is a certified stateside celebrity. And Janice has attached photos of the Welsh language artefacts, but also of a Cymru connection section. So there's a picture of Ellis leaning against a wall like a hearth throb. Where was that taken?

• 1:05:27Speaker 00

  That was for the New York Times.

• 1:05:28Speaker 01

  Good, was that outside here? You look like you're in a film noir.

• 1:05:34Speaker 00

  It was, it's a, it's a nice photo. I am quite pleased with the photo because it's definitely me.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  Oh, God, it's you.

• 1:05:41Speaker 00

  It is me.

• 1:05:41Speaker 01

  You look like you're about to solve a case and sort of chew a toothpick and that kind of thing.

• 1:05:45Speaker 00

  Yeah.

• 1:05:45Speaker 01

  And then there's a photo of Ellis behind his laptop here in the studio and the lyrics to the Cymru connection jingle. So thank you for sending that in, Janice.

• 1:05:54Speaker 00

  Very kind, because there were lots of Welsh language newspapers and pamphlets in the US in the 19th century. But we assimilated very well. Abraham Lincoln once said, I can't remember the direct quote, but it was something like, the people of Wales make great Americans because they assimilate so quickly. So there was a, there was a newspaper in the 19th century called Adrich, which is the mirror, which was the Welsh language paper for Welsh migrants to the US. But it didn't last very long, I think, because people didn't tend to pass the language on.

• 1:06:25Speaker 01

  We've had lots of emails of people who've been unwittingly the face of something. Emma writes in to say, I was unwittingly the face of the closure of Monarch Airlines in The Guardian. And there's a photo of her checking her phone next to an empty Monarch Airlines desk. And she said, I was also unwittingly the face of Girl Guiding UK in 2003. My dad was walking past the headquarters opposite Buckingham Palace. Good grief, Dave.

• 1:06:55Speaker 00

  Cheapers.

• 1:06:56Speaker 02

  Come on, Dave.

• 1:06:57Speaker 00

  Now, that's not my fault.

• 1:06:59Speaker 01

  Feels 100% like your fault.

• 1:07:02Speaker 00

  Someone's called me on, oh, it's Gaz, it's Gaz Reynolds.

• 1:07:06Speaker 02

  Gaz Reynolds is on the line.

• 1:07:07Speaker 01

  He's Gaz Reynolds, mate.

• 1:07:08Speaker 00

  If you need to.

• 1:07:09Speaker 01

  Has he revamped news and current affairs?

• 1:07:11Speaker 02

  He was our driving instructor. He's part of the driving.

• 1:07:12Speaker 00

  You're the driver. Oh, right, okay. Let me just, that should do that. Sorry about that, everyone.

• 1:07:18Speaker 01

  Good.

• 1:07:19Speaker 00

  Go on.

• 1:07:19Speaker 01

  And he was shocked to see a 20-foot hanging banner of his daughter abseiling down a wall. I think legally Brown Owl signed the release form on my behalf.

• 1:07:27Speaker 00

  Wow. I'm, now, my daughter goes to guides.

• 1:07:31Speaker 01

  Is she the face of guides?

• 1:07:33Speaker 00

  She represented guides, the British guiding movement at the Lord Mayor's show.

• 1:07:39Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 1:07:40Speaker 02

  What does that mean?

• 1:07:41Speaker 01

  That's big.

• 1:07:42Speaker 00

  So the Lords, have you ever been to the Lord Mayor's show in London? It's huge. It's been going for like 850 years.

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 1:07:49Speaker 00

  So it's like the Royal Guild of Chatted Quantity Surveyors will have a float, and the British Army will have a float, and the Navy will have a float. West Ham United will have a float. And the Scouts and Guides had a float and Betty was asked to be in the Guide, so we went and.

• 1:08:10Speaker 02

  I don't think there's anything more fun as a child than being on a float.

• 1:08:14Speaker 01

  It's great.

• 1:08:14Speaker 00

  You just trundle down the streets.

• 1:08:16Speaker 01

  Essentially a flatbed truck.

• 1:08:17Speaker 00

  Yeah, but a fun one.

• 1:08:20Speaker 02

  Kids don't see it as that.

• 1:08:21Speaker 01

  I would like to be on a flatbed truck.

• 1:08:23Speaker 02

  No, the kids want to be on a magical float.

• 1:08:26Speaker 01

  Daz said he was unwittingly the face of York Pride.

• 1:08:32Speaker 01

  He popped along to York Pride with, to meet some friends who were taking part in the celebrations and was asked to hold one of the rainbow flags. He said, I should note here that while I'm fully in support of people's right to live their truth without fear of harm or discrimination, and my close friend is indeed a gay man, I myself am as straight and vanilla as Mr Whippy. After a little chat and soaking up the vibes of vibrant humans, I thought it might be best for me to head back to my place to drop off my cumbersome bags. At this point, someone came up to me and asked, would you like to hold this flag? Handing us a part of the rainbow banner, which I gladly accepted. After a few minutes, it became clear that we were at the very front of an incredibly long rainbow flag that would be paraded at the front of the march through town.

• 1:09:16Speaker 01

  At that moment, I felt a bit of a fraud. However, we'd now walked into the main road with railings surrounding both sides and loads of people cheering and journalists taking pictures. There were many pictures of me in the local news the next day, and the York Pride Twitter account made us the picture of their banner. And there's a photo there of Daz and his pal holding the pride flag.

• 1:09:37Speaker 00

  Well, if you ever want to become the unwitting face of something, we've had some advice. Hi to the loveliest of lads in all the land. I work as a picture editor for a major UK-based news site. And I've been enjoying the chat about all the listeners who've been snapped by press photographers and suddenly found themselves as the face of a major story. Especially because there's a good chance it could have been me who chose that image.

• 1:09:59Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:10:00Speaker 00

  I know a lot of people contacting you haven't been best pleased about it, but if there happens to be any listeners out there who actually want to have their five minutes of fame, I have some insider knowledge of some surefire ways to get yourself papped. I look at literally thousands of images a day and know that press photographers are creatures of habit. You're very likely to catch their attention if you walk across Millennium Bridge on a windy, wet day with a Union Jack umbrella.

• 1:10:28Speaker 00

  If you stand around in a suit, looking up thoughtfully at the Bank of England building when interest rates are announced.

• 1:10:34Speaker 01

  I've been doing that for years.

• 1:10:36Speaker 00

  Have you?

• 1:10:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10:37Speaker 00

  If you get out of your car and gesture around angrily while stuck in the Channel Tunnel queue during a summer holiday or bank holiday getaway. Go to Paddington Station and look confused at the departure boards during a train strike. Get in a drunk fight at Ascot. Be the first person to take a dip in the sea near Brighton Pier during a heatwave, ideally wearing one of those flowery swim caps.

• 1:10:58Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:00Speaker 00

  Paddington Station is key. A major press agency is based in Paddington, and a lot of the time the photographers can't be bothered to go very far. No judgement here. Interesting note about heatwave pictures, especially since that's what kicked off this discussion. You might think the best way to get your picture in the news during a heatwave could be to have a scantily clad sunbath on the beach in a London park. And that might have been true back in the day, but a lot of the photographers I know are. Young lads who don't feel especially happy these days about getting their long lens out to try and get sneaky pics of girls in bikinis eating ice creams. Thank God. That was the picture when I was growing up.

• 1:11:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:11:37Speaker 00

  You have a much better shot of news coverage if you were to maybe pour a full bottle of water over yourself while wearing a full suit because you're that hot. Or maybe carry around a comically oversized fan on your commute with you. Love from Lucy, who really should be getting back to looking at images of people endlessly walking in and out of number 10 in London. Thank you, Lucy.

• 1:11:56Speaker 02

  And good advice.

• 1:11:57Speaker 01

  Zach has given us some, a bit of sort of legal clarification on this.

• 1:12:04Speaker 02

  Oh, good.

• 1:12:05Speaker 01

  Zach says, hi, boyos. I'm a web designer working lots of public projects, including sport, entertainment and retail. We often use photography taken in public spaces, e.g. we recently did a website for a shopping centre. Our photographer spent the day there without giving anyone prior notice or the opportunity to give consent. What it comes down to is this. If the individual is in a public space, then you can publish their photograph, as long as the context is not specifically about that individual.

• 1:12:31Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  For example, heatwave bloke has fan and the story is about the heatwave, the image is fine. However, the same image could not be used without consent if the context of the story was about the specific heatwave bloke.

• 1:12:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:12:46Speaker 01

  Of course, if anyone directly asked for an image to be removed, then we would do our best to oblige, but that would be out of politeness, not legality. I'll caveat this by saying I'm not a lawyer, but that's how we've always interpreted the rules and we've never had any problems. Hope that helps. Very interesting.

• 1:13:01Speaker 02

  That is interesting.

• 1:13:02Speaker 01

  Dave, imagine if they did a news story about hunks and it was you and me from the neck down.

• 1:13:09Speaker 01

  And then LSP can see his face because he's a bit shorter.

• 1:13:15Speaker 02

  Things my body isn't looking.

• 1:13:16Speaker 00

  They wouldn't be a friend.

• 1:13:17Speaker 01

  Britain has got a hunk epidemic. Men are getting too hunky, which they are in some circles. Too many people go into the gym and getting too hunky, which makes me look less hunky.

• 1:13:28Speaker 02

  Oh, I've been looking at a lot of adjustable dumbbells this week.

• 1:13:30Speaker 01

  Don't get them.

• 1:13:31Speaker 02

  Why not?

• 1:13:32Speaker 01

  Because they're, do you get the hex ones?

• 1:13:34Speaker 02

  No, I want to adjust them. They click, click, click. And then you're pulling up, you know, probably me just blacking them straight up to the 40kg's probably.

• 1:13:40Speaker 00

  Surely they're just as heavy as the heaviest, aren't they?

• 1:13:42Speaker 02

  No, well, you click them. I don't know if we've got time for this.

• 1:13:45Speaker 01

  They click out, don't they?

• 1:13:46Speaker 02

  And they click up. But there's some really good ones now. There's some really nice slick ones. Anyway, it's amazing how you look at one set of dumbbells. I've never seen anything.

• 1:13:53Speaker 01

  Absolute rip off.

• 1:13:54Speaker 02

  But I've just seen, I've never seen anything that's quickly going to my Instagram algorithms as dumbbells have this week. Immediately.

• 1:14:01Speaker 01

  You've got to be on like eBay, Facebook Marketplace and you've got to be ready to pounce.

• 1:14:06Speaker 02

  Because they're robust, so they probably are fine.

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  But they cost like 70 quid a pair.

• 1:14:10Speaker 02

  Well, three, four hundred quid.

• 1:14:12Speaker 01

  And it's just, it's just rubber and metal.

• 1:14:14Speaker 02

  The adjustable one's like 500 quid, John.

• 1:14:15Speaker 01

  Dave, no.

• 1:14:16Speaker 02

  I need to get both for 2027.

• 1:14:18Speaker 01

  You can have my hex ones because I'd never use them.

• 1:14:20Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, I've seen those.

• 1:14:21Speaker 01

  In fact, you can. You can have them.

• 1:14:23Speaker 02

  Well, how heavy do they go?

• 1:14:25Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:14:27Speaker 02

  How heavy do they go, John?

• 1:14:29Speaker 01

  What, but both together?

• 1:14:31Speaker 02

  You know what I mean?

• 1:14:32Speaker 00

  He's using them as paperweights.

• 1:14:33Speaker 01

  The combined.

• 1:14:34Speaker 02

  No, no, individual, please.

• 1:14:36Speaker 01

  So individual on their own.

• 1:14:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:37Speaker 01

  So that's half, let me just work out half the combined weight. So half the combined weight. So if they're 30 kilos, which is very heavy.

• 1:14:47Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:14:47Speaker 01

  Then half of that would be 15.

• 1:14:49Speaker 02

  15 each? That's not enough. I'm doing those. I'm doing those on my big toe.

• 1:14:54Speaker 01

  You are not, young man.

• 1:14:56Speaker 02

  No. In my good days, I could do a 15 on a crunch.

• 1:14:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:00Speaker 02

  But not anymore, I don't think.

• 1:15:01Speaker 01

  No. But yeah, 15s, Dave, or some 12 and a halfs I got in case any of my weaker friends came round for them to use. So we do it together because I just like bringing people together. Sorry.

• 1:15:13Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:15:13Speaker 01

  Is that a crime?

• 1:15:14Speaker 00

  When your weak friends go round to your house to do weights for the first time, you'd like to accommodate that.

• 1:15:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. Here are the 12 and a halfs for you. I'm going to be using these 15s, which combined together is 30. So you're using 12 and a half, I'm using 30. And that's, and that's where we all are.

• 1:15:30Speaker 02

  It's fine. As long as you're trying hard.

• 1:15:32Speaker 01

  So do you want my 15s?

• 1:15:34Speaker 02

  No, I don't want your feathered dumbbells, John. I want [BLEEP]. We should wrap up on this lovely note as we all get both for 2027. That's our idea for you for next year, at least. That's the one in green.

• 1:15:46Speaker 00

  He is. It's a shame.

• 1:15:47Speaker 01

  It is a shame.

• 1:15:48Speaker 02

  It's great. It's great. It's good for him. Right. Shall we say bye bye?

• 1:15:53Speaker 01

  Bye bye.

• 1:15:54Speaker 00

  Bye bye.

• 1:17:06Speaker 01

  Thanks for listening to the show and you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Ellis and John for more content.

• 1:17:12Speaker 00

  And you can watch highlights of every episode over on our YouTube page at Ellis and John.

• 1:17:17Speaker 01

  Plus, you can find all things EJJR, including links to our Patreon, our merch and much more by heading to ellisonjohn.com. See you next time.