Pod Insights Elis James and John Robins #544 - The Golden Texter, Wheels Through Wales and Common Zense About this episode A few weeks ago Elis refused to accept the Buddhist idiom ‘the glass is already broken’. In so doing, did he set back mindfulness 10,000 billion years, or did he inadvertently birth a great podcast-first feature? We’re hoping it’s the latter; welcome to Common Zense.
And top-tier podcasting doesn’t stop there, because Elis and John have also gone and created the Golden Texter, the Eagle Topic. Commercial digital indie radio, here we come (again).
Elsewhere, Elis wants to nationalise headphones, John dissects his love of cowboys, and there’s another cracking TV treatment for the Cymru Connection.
To send in your mindful idioms for Elis to trash, email [email protected] .
And get yourself ready for our next Adventure, The Boys Go Birdwatching, here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/adventure-3-boys-158953760/
For lots of exclusive EJJR #content, join our Patreon at patreon.com/elisandjohn.
For weekly visual highlights, head to youtube.com/@elisandjohn.
For everything else, head to elisandjohn.com.
The Elis James and John Robins Show is a Significant Production.
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Transcript 12,007 words · 6 speakers
0:00 Speaker 00 Before we start this episode, we want to invite you along to the adventures of Ellis and John.
0:04 Speaker 01 If you head over to patreon.com/ellisonjohn, you can join us on our monthly escapades, including
0:10 Speaker 00 Miniumpicks.
0:11 Speaker 01 It's the strangest legal jump in the history of long jump.
0:14 Speaker 00 Birdwatching.
0:15 Speaker 02 My two favourite things are birds and football.
0:18 Speaker 01 And you can watch our latest episode now, where we tackle an escape room.
0:22 Speaker 02 So John is absolutely flying here. Well, Ellis is there as well.
0:26 Speaker 01 Ellis is there as well, Dave.
0:27 Speaker 02 We did the first three, Dave, for complete chill.
0:32 Speaker 00 So for adventures and so much more, head over to patreon.com/ellisonjohn now.
0:59 Speaker 01 Hello everyone and welcome to the Ellis James and John Robbins show. It's a long time in the past, isn't it?
1:07 Speaker 00 What, what does that mean?
1:09 Speaker 01 Today is a long time in the past, if you're listening live. A lot has happened to us since today.
1:14 Speaker 00 Yes. Yeah, because of the unique way we record this and because of the unique way that I go on holiday during half term.
1:22 Speaker 01 And because of the unique way I climb mountains.
1:25 Speaker 00 Yes.
1:25 Speaker 02 Are we all away next week?
1:27 Speaker 00 This is exciting.
1:28 Speaker 01 Last week.
1:29 Speaker 00 Last week.
1:29 Speaker 01 I'm back now.
1:30 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:31 Speaker 01 Have a great time.
1:32 Speaker 00 But I'm going away again next week, probably. I don't know.
1:35 Speaker 01 Are you?
1:35 Speaker 00 No, of course not. I love this show, John.
1:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:38 Speaker 00 I'll take one week off and that is it.
1:40 Speaker 01 That is it.
1:40 Speaker 00 I've got to ask a question. Are you wearing a t-shirt of a cowboy smoking a crack pipe?
1:44 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:46 Speaker 02 On a donkey?
1:46 Speaker 00 On a donkey?
1:47 Speaker 01 Yes, I am.
1:48 Speaker 00 What's, what's up? That is the least John Robbins t-shirt I've ever seen in my life.
1:53 Speaker 01 Or is it?
1:54 Speaker 02 Oh, it's BPB, Ellis.
1:56 Speaker 00 Right. Is that difficult for you?
2:00 Speaker 00 Because you love B P B.
2:03 Speaker 02 It's Bonnie Prince, it's a Bonnie Prince Billy t-shirt.
2:05 Speaker 01 It certainly is.
2:06 Speaker 00 You love Bonnie Prince Billy, you love his music, you love his thoughts, his mind, his attitudes.
2:12 Speaker 01 His label.
2:13 Speaker 00 And his label.
2:13 Speaker 01 And everyone who works for his label.
2:15 Speaker 00 And everyone who works for his label.
2:16 Speaker 01 Hi Gillian, hi Aoife.
2:18 Speaker 02 What are you doing?
2:18 Speaker 01 Saying hi to my friends at Domino Dave.
2:22 Speaker 00 You've met him.
2:23 Speaker 01 Sorry, I do have other friends.
2:24 Speaker 00 You've met him, you've interviewed him, you've cherished his records for almost 30 years.
2:29 Speaker 01 Very much so.
2:29 Speaker 00 Terrifying.
2:30 Speaker 01 I've written about him in, well, I think we're calling it Sunday Times bestselling memoir slash blabography.
2:37 Speaker 00 It's a lovely, it's a lovely passage.
2:40 Speaker 01 Still in the top 10.
2:40 Speaker 00 It's a lovely, it's a lovely chapter about Bonnie Prince Billy, actually. But you don't really like donkeys, cowboys or crack.
2:47 Speaker 01 I like donkeys and I like cowboys.
2:50 Speaker 00 What's happening there, do you?
2:51 Speaker 01 Yeah, I'm a big Clint Eastwood fan.
2:53 Speaker 00 Are you?
2:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, I've watched all of his films. He's a superb director.
2:58 Speaker 00 You would make.
2:59 Speaker 01 But not politically, I think we differ on a few areas.
3:02 Speaker 00 Which is okay.
3:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, and that's fine.
3:03 Speaker 02 Takes all sorts.
3:04 Speaker 00 You think people should own more guns, don't you?
3:07 Speaker 02 I could see you as a cowboy.
3:09 Speaker 01 Thank you, Dave.
3:10 Speaker 00 No, and no.
3:12 Speaker 02 No, there's a lot of solitude knocking about as a cowboy.
3:15 Speaker 01 Just on the open range.
3:16 Speaker 02 Trotting around.
3:17 Speaker 00 It's very hot, can you imagine it in his, the heat and in his leather chaps with his revolver?
3:22 Speaker 01 I wouldn't like that, actually. I also have often thought when I was watching westerns, like everyone goes into a saloon and they all have neat bourbon. But that gives me heartburn.
3:33 Speaker 02 Yeah.
3:33 Speaker 01 But they also didn't have fridges. So I think if you went and asked for a beer.
3:37 Speaker 00 Yeah.
3:38 Speaker 01 You might get shot out of town with a gun in your head.
3:41 Speaker 02 Yeah, in your, yeah. I also think, ah, the horse riding is going to play havoc on your back. Could you maybe not dismount?
3:49 Speaker 01 Because it's a bit like having a kneeling chair. It would, your back is always engaged.
3:53 Speaker 02 But it's just the getting on and off, I wonder how.
3:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, I would need a little ladder.
3:58 Speaker 00 Or a helper.
3:58 Speaker 01 Or a helper.
4:00 Speaker 00 So you could have someone to get you on and off the horse.
4:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, I could.
4:04 Speaker 00 And then you could go into the, to the bar, at the saloon bar and ask for a warm Lucky Saint.
4:14 Speaker 01 I, um, yeah, I went through a big period of watching loads of westerns. That was sort of my go to genre.
4:20 Speaker 00 Was it?
4:21 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, big time.
4:21 Speaker 00 I like the sort of 1960s ones that are incredibly slow moving.
4:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, spaghetti westerns.
4:26 Speaker 00 Yeah, and then every now and then someone will like adjust his hat and it'll take 15 minutes.
4:31 Speaker 02 There's a good, I can't remember the name of it. I watched all of it. There's a great series with Kevin Costner that's all about.
4:37 Speaker 01 Oh, Yellowstone.
4:38 Speaker 02 Yellowstone. Did you watch that?
4:39 Speaker 01 No, I watched the first couple of episodes and I thought, I cannot, can't be asked.
4:43 Speaker 00 Good.
4:44 Speaker 01 It's about a thousand episodes long.
4:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, we have actually stopped watching it halfway through, but we enjoyed the half that we watched. We do that so much.
4:50 Speaker 00 I also think all TV episodes should be 21 minutes long.
4:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, with adverts.
4:55 Speaker 00 With adverts.
4:56 Speaker 01 So an hour, half an hour with adverts.
4:57 Speaker 00 That's enough.
4:58 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's more than enough.
5:00 Speaker 00 More than enough.
5:01 Speaker 01 Um, but yeah, he's smoking, it might be a bong, it might be crack, but you know, he, he, he has a different tradition to me.
5:10 Speaker 00 Yeah.
5:10 Speaker 01 And I respect that.
5:11 Speaker 00 This is you advertising illegal drugs, John?
5:13 Speaker 01 No, I'm advertising Bonnie Prince Billy.
5:15 Speaker 00 Okay, well, that's weird because I thought you were advertising illegal drugs.
5:18 Speaker 01 Also, you don't know where he is. He might be in, for example, Peru, where those drugs aren't illegal.
5:24 Speaker 00 Okay, yeah.
5:25 Speaker 01 He might be in Mexico.
5:26 Speaker 00 Yes.
5:27 Speaker 01 Where it's a mixed picture.
5:28 Speaker 00 Good point.
5:29 Speaker 02 Or he's getting breathalyzed.
5:30 Speaker 01 Or he's breathalizing himself.
5:31 Speaker 00 On a donkey.
5:32 Speaker 01 Through a bong.
5:34 Speaker 00 Well, that's good. That's that clear, Dan.
5:37 Speaker 01 Uh, yes, but I'm in a good mood, obviously, because I'm about to, no, I'm not, because people were talking on the train.
5:42 Speaker 00 Oh, no.
5:44 Speaker 01 Really near me.
5:45 Speaker 00 Ah, what? There were, there was, uh, there was a woman in front of me just watching videos on the train, on the train.
5:52 Speaker 02 Really?
5:52 Speaker 00 And I thought, come on, come on, love.
5:54 Speaker 01 Headphones. There needs to be a headphones sign.
5:58 Speaker 00 I actually.
5:59 Speaker 01 And a, just a sign, it's always men who just talk at twice the necessary volume on a quiet carriage about what Chelsea fans are like.
6:09 Speaker 00 Um, yes, sorry.
6:11 Speaker 01 But like, I am, I am so aware of the impact I have on other people.
6:16 Speaker 00 So why did you act like you did for 22 minutes?
6:20 Speaker 01 In public, not in my professional life. Maybe I've got that the wrong way around.
6:25 Speaker 00 You should have been a bit louder on the tube, a bit lighter backstage.
6:31 Speaker 01 Like unless it was an emergency, I would never take a call on a train.
6:35 Speaker 00 No.
6:35 Speaker 01 Or I would answer and go, I'm just on a train, I'll call you.
6:37 Speaker 00 Yeah, I just speak, if I have to, I speak incredibly quietly because I'm embarrassed.
6:42 Speaker 01 These two guys talking so loud and in a very performative, I hate to use a broad brush over your fellows, Ellis, but like in a football fan kind of, yeah, that's right.
6:54 Speaker 00 Lads, lads, lads.
6:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know, he was standing there, and I'm like, mate, no one else is talking, you don't have to talk over anything.
7:01 Speaker 00 What are their thoughts on Chelsea fans?
7:02 Speaker 01 I could, I, well, I'd tell you what my thoughts on they, of them are, Dave. They need to have those conversations in a big cave.
7:10 Speaker 00 Do you know what I think? I actually think it's such a problem. I think there should be nationalised headphones available for all and all trains.
7:19 Speaker 01 Yeah, like NHS glasses when we were growing up.
7:21 Speaker 00 Yeah. And I think you walk on it, there'd be just a big bin full of headphones with some sanitiser.
7:27 Speaker 01 Like on a plane?
7:28 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah. And then there is zero excuse then.
7:30 Speaker 01 But what about the talking? Because if you're, if people are taking calls on the headphones, they talk even louder.
7:36 Speaker 00 Yeah, I've done that.
7:38 Speaker 01 And they were both wearing coats that you own.
7:41 Speaker 00 Well, then I like the guy.
7:43 Speaker 01 I know. And I was thinking that, I was thinking Ellis would be listening into this conversation in a very different way.
7:48 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:49 Speaker 02 There was, there was one time I was on a meeting in the canteen downstairs.
7:53 Speaker 00 Yeah.
7:53 Speaker 02 And I had my headphones in. So you do just naturally start to raise the volume because you're, you know, you're trying to be assertive and confident.
8:01 Speaker 01 And you're saying ring, ring fence as often as you can.
8:03 Speaker 02 Ring fence, a lot of verticals knocking about. And then John waved at me from the other side because he'd already turned up and he just looked me into the Ross Geller.
8:11 Speaker 01 Yeah, you can too.
8:12 Speaker 02 Dave, just tone it down a bit, which actually really put me off the meeting, but he had a point.
8:18 Speaker 01 We'll just have one headphone in.
8:19 Speaker 00 Yeah. Well, I, I almost saw a fight on the train.
8:22 Speaker 01 Did you?
8:22 Speaker 00 A couple of days ago. There was a bloke, he must, he was, he was relatively young, I'd say in his early twenties. And he must, I didn't see what he'd been doing, but I'm guessing from the way it panned out that he'd been watching something very loudly on his phone or listening. And a much older American guy, who was probably in his, I would say mid to late 60s.
8:43 Speaker 01 Here we go.
8:44 Speaker 00 Went up to him, so basically nose to nose, I'm not going to do the voice, but he was like, have you ever heard of earphones, mate?
8:51 Speaker 01 Nice.
8:52 Speaker 00 Have you never heard of earphones? And the guy went, what's it to do with you? And he went, I'll tell you what it's to do with me. I'm standing right next to you. And that's incredibly, incredibly irritating and distracting.
9:01 Speaker 01 Correct.
9:02 Speaker 00 And there's no need for you to do it without headphones. But the guy was, had obviously been building himself up to do it for a couple of stops.
9:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:09 Speaker 00 So I was looking at his body language and like his, you know, he's got his clenched fists and he's stretching his muscles. I thought, oh my God, he's actually gonna, he's gonna kick off.
9:19 Speaker 01 He is me apart from his actions.
9:21 Speaker 00 Yeah. And the guy, he said, I don't care about you, mate.
9:24 Speaker 01 Whoa.
9:25 Speaker 00 He stuck to his guns. He said, what's it to do with you? He said, I'll tell you what it's to do with me. You're in a public place. You're on a packed subway train. Cause he was from the US and everyone can hear your phone and it's, it's not on. It's not acceptable. The guy said, I don't care what's acceptable.
9:38 Speaker 01 What?
9:39 Speaker 00 Because obviously now he felt like he couldn't back down because this man in his late 60s.
9:43 Speaker 01 No, but the truth is he doesn't care.
9:45 Speaker 00 No, no, that is.
9:45 Speaker 01 That's why he's doing it.
9:47 Speaker 00 Absolutely.
9:47 Speaker 01 But it's interesting to know that that's the truth. The truth is they just don't care about other people.
9:51 Speaker 00 And then he said, the, the young guy said, where are you getting off, mate? And the American said, I'm getting off at King's Cross. He said, I'm getting off at King's Cross as well. And he went, okay.
10:01 Speaker 01 That's kiss.
10:02 Speaker 00 And then.
10:04 Speaker 01 Do you want to go on a date?
10:04 Speaker 00 And then I couldn't quite hear what he was saying, but he said something like, I'm not scared of you and I don't care what you think of me.
10:11 Speaker 01 Wow.
10:11 Speaker 00 And then he said something like, and if you get off the train and you keep talking to me, I'll just, he said something like, I'll knock you out. The guy said, I'm not gonna knock you out. I'm asking you to turn your phone down. And he was very angry, the American guy. And then a bloke, like in this sort of Dead Poet Society, standing next to me said, well done, mate, for telling him. Well done.
10:29 Speaker 01 Yes.
10:30 Speaker 00 And then the young guy said, what's it got to do with you? And he said, I'll tell you what it's got to do with me. We're on a, we're on a train and your actions are unacceptable. The guy was like, I don't care.
10:40 Speaker 01 What did you do?
10:41 Speaker 00 I didn't do anything because I thought this is gonna be fantastic for the Friday app.
10:45 Speaker 01 What was this recently?
10:46 Speaker 00 This was two nights ago.
10:47 Speaker 01 Cause you're in the, you're in the, in, in your era in life of standing up for yourself, as we know. Vigilante Ellis.
10:55 Speaker 00 You're vigilante, yes. So I went, you, I thought you might have chipped in.
10:58 Speaker 01 Were either of them being **** with headphones on?
11:03 Speaker 01 Because then I could have stepped in.
11:06 Speaker 01 At least put your headphones on in this situation.
11:10 Speaker 00 I step in if it's dangerous but not irritating.
11:13 Speaker 01 Okay.
11:15 Speaker 00 So I don't like it when people are listening to music on headphones and I would, without headphones, and I would never do it, but I'm not going to vigilante yell at it. But if someone's driving up my childminder's street at 60 miles an hour, I will then run up to their car at the traffic lights, knock on the window and lose my mind in a way that I don't recognise myself.
11:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, okay.
11:33 Speaker 00 So, yeah, so basically, if you're sitting next to me on the train or on the bus and you've got your music on with no headphones, I will let it go, but I'm inwardly judging you.
11:42 Speaker 01 So I would maybe, as the third vigilante, have taken a different tack and said.
11:48 Speaker 00 Are you from a broken home?
11:49 Speaker 01 No, I would have said, why don't you care? Because it's obviously affecting people. Why don't you care about other people?
11:57 Speaker 00 Yeah, but some, some, some people just always put themselves first, don't they? I can't understand it as a way of living. And it's the one thing I want to drill into my kids, that you have to think about other people. Because some kids, for whatever reason, just, they never get that lesson taught to them.
12:15 Speaker 01 I guess it's, it's super main character energy, isn't it? In fact, it's only, it's only character energy.
12:22 Speaker 00 Yeah.
12:23 Speaker 01 But I would just, I just feel so embarrassed if I impinge either sort of physically or vocally on anyone else's journey or day. I don't want to get in the way. I don't want to, I just sit doing my crosswords with my headphones on. I can't, just everyone on earth do that.
12:38 Speaker 00 I mean, it wouldn't be much fun.
12:40 Speaker 01 Well, it would, because they'd all be learning about the English language.
12:43 Speaker 00 Yeah, but yeah, I know what you mean. What I, what I am willing to let go, because I find it actually very charming, is that whenever I get the train from, say, Carmarthen to Swansea or Carmarthen to Cardiff on a Saturday morning, which I do relatively often, there will always be women who are drunk getting on at Llulli with bottles of wine and they're listening to music. And I'm like, ladies, have a good day.
13:10 Speaker 01 Yes.
13:10 Speaker 00 Doesn't bother me. And they're listening to like Shakira.
13:15 Speaker 00 I'm always like, yeah, this is West Wales and I don't mind this actually. I don't mind the women as much, it's the, the men are a bit more annoying. But I was on the train the other day and they, it must have been a hen do, but I would imagine a second wedding. Cause the women are all in their like 40s and 50s. They were having a fantastic.
13:34 Speaker 01 But also that's not a threatening energy, is it?
13:36 Speaker 00 No, no, of course not.
13:38 Speaker 01 It's not, it's not as much an inconsiderate energy.
13:42 Speaker 00 Well, it is, but it's so loud, you're in the disco.
13:44 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:45 Speaker 00 One of the things was listen to music or watching a video on there. Like, there was a guy next to me just watching an episode of something on Netflix on his phone. But because the speakers on an iPhone are so tinny, it's just irritating. It's not like, it's not, it's not like you're watching in a cinema with Dolby surround. You're watching it on some guy's phone and there's the sound of the train at the same time.
14:05 Speaker 01 Also, when it's the hen do carriage, you can sort of leave the carriage.
14:09 Speaker 00 Yeah, or you can do what I do, start chatting them up, get involved.
14:13 Speaker 01 What did you say?
14:15 Speaker 00 No, I think I might have said, have a good day ladies, as I, as I got off at Gawton.
14:21 Speaker 01 But in a thick Welsh accent.
14:22 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah. Have a good day ladies. Hen do's it.
14:26 Speaker 01 Very good.
14:27 Speaker 00 Who's the blushing bride? That's what I said.
14:31 Speaker 01 But I'm in a good mood, despite all what I've said.
14:35 Speaker 00 No, you look like a skeleton.
14:36 Speaker 01 Going to the Alps, of course.
14:37 Speaker 00 Oh, so that's why you're stressed, because of the flight and packing, et cetera.
14:41 Speaker 01 Already packed, but packed yesterday.
14:44 Speaker 00 Okay, well, when are you flying?
14:46 Speaker 01 Tomorrow. Well, I'll be back now, because we're in the past.
14:49 Speaker 00 Don't worry about it. No one cares.
14:51 Speaker 01 Well, I'm back.
14:51 Speaker 00 You packed two, you packed two days before your flight?
14:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:55 Speaker 00 That's adorable and hilarious and you're a psycho.
14:58 Speaker 01 I'm not a psycho.
14:59 Speaker 00 Two days.
15:00 Speaker 02 Two days. My mum, my mum would pack two days.
15:03 Speaker 00 Put him in jail.
15:04 Speaker 02 My mum would have the suitcase out laid on the spare bed seven days prior.
15:08 Speaker 01 If I had a spare bed, that's where it would have been.
15:09 Speaker 00 Yeah, mum, mum used to do that.
15:11 Speaker 01 But here's my thinking, I've got.
15:13 Speaker 00 So you could leave now.
15:15 Speaker 01 Yeah, I could leave now.
15:16 Speaker 00 Hilarious.
15:17 Speaker 01 How is that hilarious?
15:18 Speaker 00 What, what an empty life.
15:20 Speaker 01 No, it's not, because, right, because I'm going on a walking holiday. First off, what if I find out the stuff I need is in the washing?
15:30 Speaker 02 But you do one wash a month.
15:33 Speaker 01 Yeah, exactly.
15:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
15:34 Speaker 01 So I might have to do a wash.
15:36 Speaker 02 Yeah.
15:36 Speaker 01 To get the clothes I want. Point number one.
15:39 Speaker 02 Okay.
15:40 Speaker 01 Point number two, so I need enough time to wash and dry the clothes I might need.
15:45 Speaker 02 And you've not got a tumble dryer?
15:46 Speaker 01 Not got a tumble dryer, no. Nature's tumble dryer, Dave.
15:49 Speaker 02 Yeah.
15:49 Speaker 01 The atmosphere.
15:50 Speaker 02 And the radiators.
15:51 Speaker 01 And the radiators. Second, what if I need to buy something for the trip and I don't know until I've packed?
15:58 Speaker 02 That's what expensive shops and hair ports are for.
16:01 Speaker 01 That's not happening. Thirdly, neatness, neatness in pop. Fourthly, um, then there's no fourth one.
16:11 Speaker 02 Three's plenty.
16:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's three good reasons.
16:13 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think two, I mean, I don't do this.
16:16 Speaker 01 Two days.
16:17 Speaker 02 But I think two days is all right. We're just different. I actually, John's actually the winner here, I think.
16:23 Speaker 01 Don't encourage him.
16:24 Speaker 02 No, it's true, because I then stress because I've left it till the morning.
16:27 Speaker 01 I'm not stressed.
16:28 Speaker 02 I came to London on Wednesday for three days for a couple of engagements.
16:32 Speaker 01 Hmm.
16:33 Speaker 02 And I packed Wednesday morning about 20 minutes before the taxi was turning up to take me to Stopford. I thought to myself, why have you done this again?
16:39 Speaker 01 But you're a laugh, Dave.
16:41 Speaker 02 I'm in the loft, you're in a band, you're rock and roll, you're on, you're signed to Creation. I am. John's on Domino, as we know.
16:48 Speaker 01 Yeah, big time.
16:48 Speaker 02 If I were, it might be on Domino.
16:50 Speaker 01 No, John's on an offshoot of a classical label. I'm on Naxos.
16:55 Speaker 02 Hmm.
16:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, so everything's all packed and ready to go. I'm going to look at several Alps. I'm going to look at a lake. I'm going to look at a very nice old town.
17:05 Speaker 02 Are you going on your own, solo?
17:07 Speaker 01 I'm taking some pals with me.
17:09 Speaker 02 Great.
17:10 Speaker 01 So it's sort of lads on tour, lads on Alps.
17:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:15 Speaker 01 And, but I'm back, but I haven't gone yet.
17:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:19 Speaker 01 Which is quite an exciting headspace to be in.
17:21 Speaker 02 Hmm.
17:21 Speaker 01 What was it like?
17:23 Speaker 02 Why have you chosen, is it not more expensive because you've gone during half term? Or is that because some of your friends have kids?
17:30 Speaker 01 Some of my friends have kids, but also I don't think it's French half term.
17:35 Speaker 00 Ah.
17:36 Speaker 01 Also, mega top tip. Um, where did I hear this top tip the other day? If you want to go on a European camping holiday, go to, go to Euro, is it Euro Park in the Netherlands? Cause their half terms are different, so it's really cheap.
17:52 Speaker 00 Oh.
17:53 Speaker 01 And apparently the parks are quite good.
17:55 Speaker 00 Oh, really?
17:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:57 Speaker 00 Okay.
17:58 Speaker 01 Or they're bad, I can't remember, but it is cheap. I can't remember where I heard that, but I think it was on a podcast, but it was, cause I haven't spoken to anyone for a long time.
18:07 Speaker 01 So either Rory Stewart was recommending going to Euro Park in Germany, or one of the three beans.
18:16 Speaker 00 Probably the latter.
18:18 Speaker 01 I don't think it was any of them.
18:19 Speaker 00 I can imagine that coming from Wozniak. I can't imagine Rory Stewart recommending Euro Park in the Netherlands.
18:25 Speaker 01 He's, he's walking across Afghanistan with his kids.
18:28 Speaker 00 For six months.
18:29 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big time, big time. Uh, so I reckon I'll have, I climbed six or seven Alps by now.
18:36 Speaker 00 You gonna do any foot climbing?
18:38 Speaker 01 Yes, gonna do foot climbing, but eye climbing wise, it's a mixed ability group. I don't want anyone damaging their iris.
18:44 Speaker 00 Okay. What's the highest that you've been?
18:49 Speaker 00 Cause Snowdon Ruithwa is a thousand and eighty-five metres, I think.
18:53 Speaker 01 Oh, way more than that.
18:54 Speaker 00 So you've actually been further than a thousand metres?
18:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
18:57 Speaker 00 Oh, wow.
18:57 Speaker 01 But you, I mean, I ran five K down a mountain the last time I went, much to the chagrin of my calves. That was a huge mistake.
19:06 Speaker 00 Yeah.
19:06 Speaker 01 To run downhill for five kilometres, but that's obviously not straight down.
19:09 Speaker 00 Yeah, of course.
19:11 Speaker 01 But they're slightly different, they're much more accessible. I mean, Snowdon's accessible, but you could get very high without having to do any like scrambling or advanced climbing techniques.
19:24 Speaker 01 So, uh, and another reason I'm in a good mood is because I got ID'd this morning.
19:29 Speaker 00 You didn't, did you? You're back in the booze. Well, what were you trying to buy? What were you trying to buy?
19:34 Speaker 01 I got ID'd by the delivery guy for, um, an E-sig replacement.
19:40 Speaker 02 Wow.
19:41 Speaker 01 And I got, I had, I had, I was frying an egg and listening to a podcast. So the house was in a sort of state of agitation. And I opened the door and he looked at me and he said, can I, have you got any ID? And I said, uh, yes, I think it's upstairs and I'm 44. He said, I'm sorry, but I have to ask you because you don't look 44.
20:02 Speaker 02 That's nice.
20:03 Speaker 01 And I said, well, now I'm annoyed and I love you.
20:05 Speaker 02 Yeah. Wow.
20:07 Speaker 01 So I ran up to get my ID and he said, uh, sorry, it's company policy. But that, that did feel good actually. And I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought, um, he was, maybe he was lying.
20:19 Speaker 00 Yeah. Taxi driver told me that he thought I was in my early 30s the other day.
20:23 Speaker 01 Oh, that's nice.
20:23 Speaker 00 And I thought, you're trying to get off with me.
20:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:26 Speaker 00 That's, that's not true. But nice, you know?
20:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
20:29 Speaker 00 Nice to have that little boost.
20:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
20:39 Speaker 00 Okay, let's do some correspondence. Now, a couple of weeks ago, John put out what I thought was the excellent email topic. When have you had the ick? Or if you're over the age of 35, when have you been made to cringe by your partner very late on in the relationship? Years, maybe decades in. And we've had lots.
20:56 Speaker 01 And has it ended the relationship?
20:58 Speaker 00 Yeah.
20:59 Speaker 01 Can you imagine, Dave, if we were on Capital, that would have flown like an eagle.
21:04 Speaker 00 Yeah.
21:04 Speaker 01 And never landed.
21:06 Speaker 00 It would, we, it would be.
21:07 Speaker 02 It actually would.
21:07 Speaker 01 Would have had chicks in midair.
21:10 Speaker 00 It would be known as an eagle topic.
21:12 Speaker 01 It would be known as an eagle topic.
21:13 Speaker 00 The eagle texter.
21:14 Speaker 01 The golden texter.
21:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, it would, because they would use the word ick.
21:18 Speaker 00 And when they have those, when they have those meetings to discuss their figures, the head of the station would be saying, guys, we've got to come up with more eagle topics. John's done it.
21:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:27 Speaker 00 But you all need to do it. What are your eagle topics?
21:29 Speaker 01 And then would he have given me a prize?
21:31 Speaker 00 No, he'd have just rung a bell and then he'd have let you ring the bell.
21:34 Speaker 01 Oh, nice.
21:35 Speaker 00 And then he'd have had to ring the bell in front of everyone.
21:37 Speaker 01 That's good.
21:38 Speaker 00 Okay. Uh, so, um, what John really wants is for an ick to be so potent that it actually ends a marriage.
21:46 Speaker 01 Well, I want to know what is the longest into a relationship an ick has ended it, or begun the, the slow descent.
21:54 Speaker 02 What's the, what's the definition of an ick? Because people do get divorced when they start to hate their partner.
22:00 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, also, I think it's important.
22:04 Speaker 01 So like an ick shouldn't be a judgment about us. Sometimes you can use it as a way of just like dissing someone's interests.
22:12 Speaker 00 Yeah.
22:12 Speaker 01 It's, it shouldn't be like a pejorative against certain groups, but it's, I think it's a habit often that you suspect has never come under scrutiny before.
22:24 Speaker 02 Yeah.
22:25 Speaker 00 I tell you who would be excellent discussing this is Izzy used to work on the show because she is extremely ickphobic. I think I used to give her the ick about twice an hour.
22:36 Speaker 01 So it's something that if someone did on a date, you'd go, that would have to stop.
22:41 Speaker 00 For example, when I, I lived with lots of people in my early twenties and what used to give my friend Katie the ick was that if we were living with lots of people and if someone had just used a butter knife, they would just, they would just clean their knife, but they wouldn't wash up anything else.
22:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, okay.
22:58 Speaker 00 Do you know what I mean? There'd be lots of stuff and you know, if you're feeling sociable.
23:02 Speaker 01 I'm not sure that's ick. I think that's like flatmate annoyance.
23:04 Speaker 00 No, no, but what I'm saying is it, it used to make her cringe. And that's the thing. It's quite a movable sort of term, isn't it?
23:10 Speaker 01 I think cringe is more like, ick is more like cutting your toenails in front of the telly as opposed to bad behaviour.
23:18 Speaker 00 Okay.
23:18 Speaker 01 Like, like leaving your washing in the washing machine isn't ick. That's just a pain.
23:24 Speaker 00 Izzy, yeah, but it actually made her think, oh, come on, mate. It wasn't a flatmate annoyance. It was.
23:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, but come on, mate is not, we've got to get this nailed down because come on, mate is not ick.
23:35 Speaker 00 What used to give Izzy the, who worked on the show, the ick was like people wearing socks without trainers. No, no, trainers without socks or like the little secret socks that would give her the ick.
23:46 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is too lengthy for capital at this stage. They're desperate for Justin Bieber.
23:51 Speaker 00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've come up with the eagle texter and we've been sacked straight away.
23:56 Speaker 02 The programme controller has walked into the studio and said, how are you still trying to figure out what an ick is? We're seven minutes in, the link's meant to be 45 seconds.
24:04 Speaker 00 One of those things where I think when someone does it, you think, okay, well, if they do that, what else do they do? What does that say about the person? Anyway, we've had a really good one. This, this, this made me laugh a lot, right? Hello Bonnie Prince Beefheart Gorgeous and Dave who likes Oasis.
24:20 Speaker 01 I love that.
24:20 Speaker 00 I'm writing in with some traumatic later in relationship ick discoveries. I only realised once I'd moved in with my then boyfriend just how cringe and incompetent he could be. He wasn't very practical or domestic and over our four and a half year relationship, it reached intolerable levels. Highlights, this is huge for me. Highlights include me texting him to please put my clothes from the laundry basket into the washing machine, only for me to get home to realise he'd done exactly that. He'd literally just put them into the washing machine but hadn't turned it on. He also wasn't able to use cling, oh my god, he wasn't, he also wasn't able to use cling film and once asked me how to preheat an oven.
25:02 Speaker 01 Now, I think in there is a use, I don't think the washing machine thing is ick. I think asking someone how to preheat an oven is an ick.
25:11 Speaker 00 That's massive.
25:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, but the first thing is just someone being annoying.
25:15 Speaker 00 Unless I've been doing it wrong my entire life. You know, you just turn the oven on, don't you?
25:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:21 Speaker 00 What? Good. The final straw was when my mum told me she messaged him to ask how I might want to celebrate my birthday, which she didn't reply. When I questioned him on it, he said it wasn't always possible to respond to messages, had he had a very fast moving WhatsApp.
25:37 Speaker 01 I like that phrase.
25:39 Speaker 00 I think I'm gonna start using that phrase. Also, his name was Nick, which is three quarters of the word ick anyway. Ultimately, he left me.
25:47 Speaker 01 What? Astonishing.
25:48 Speaker 00 Kind regards, anon. P.S. Ellis, I don't care if something good happened to your sister, Jacob should have happened to me. Because I've talked a lot about how Jacob, my brother-in-law, is extremely competent and a nice bloke and very physically fit and handsome.
26:03 Speaker 01 This is a good one from an anonymous who says, hello boys, your request for finding a new ick in a relationship couldn't have come at more relevant time in my life. I've been with my partner for five years. For context, he's the kind of person that thinks he's dying regularly and it's usually just a common cold. Finally, finally this weekend, he was actually ill.
26:22 Speaker 00 Finally.
26:23 Speaker 01 The works, fever, snot, coughing. That's when it hit me. I cannot stand the way he coughs. This is, this is rich.
26:32 Speaker 00 Territory.
26:33 Speaker 01 Picture a toddler coughing with their lips stuck out, making an O shape, forcing a cough. Each cough finished with a high pitched expelling of air.
26:47 Speaker 00 Imagine if I coughed like that. Can you imagine?
26:51 Speaker 02 It's quite sweet.
26:54 Speaker 01 For five years, this man has been coughing around me. Thirty seven years he's been coughing solo like this. I've really had to question my life choices. Can I really be with a grown man that coughs like a baby caught off guard? Yeah, there is that kind of. Like that.
27:12 Speaker 00 Oh, that one. Yeah, yeah.
27:13 Speaker 01 Yeah, where a baby sort of doesn't know what's happening to their body.
27:16 Speaker 00 Yeah.
27:17 Speaker 01 I would find that a problem.
27:19 Speaker 02 But you know, I think this is the thing, and this is probably why there aren't a hundred of these. It's because people aren't leaving them because if you're that far into the relationship, you're probably just at the point to go, your coughing's mad. Can you just sort that out, please? I know you well enough and we're close enough.
27:33 Speaker 01 You couldn't say that on a first date.
27:35 Speaker 02 You can't say that on a first date, no.
27:36 Speaker 01 Sorry, the, the way you hold your knife and fork is insane and you're gonna need to really rethink that now.
27:43 Speaker 02 But once you're five years in.
27:44 Speaker 01 Might be an ick, like if someone like picked up their knife and fork in a mad way.
27:48 Speaker 00 Yeah.
27:49 Speaker 01 But then you wouldn't have noticed that. So what I'm interested is how late into relationships these things can be noticed for the first time.
27:56 Speaker 00 Because obviously on a first date, you notice everything and you analyse everything.
28:00 Speaker 01 But I wonder if you're also performing, but then that would suggest that you knew the thing you did was weird.
28:08 Speaker 00 Here's Justin Bieber.
28:09 Speaker 01 Here's Justin Bieber with his new song, You're My Girlfriend.
28:15 Speaker 02 He probably has.
28:16 Speaker 01 Brackets, I love you remix.
28:18 Speaker 00 Yeah. Radio edit.
28:20 Speaker 01 Radio edit.
28:23 Speaker 01 Is that what, is that his song?
28:25 Speaker 02 You're my girlfriend.
28:26 Speaker 00 Possibly not. Apparently he did very well.
28:28 Speaker 01 Brackets, I love you.
28:29 Speaker 00 He did very well at Coachella this year, did old Bebs.
28:31 Speaker 01 Didn't he do a Geese cover? No, Geese did a Bieber cover.
28:35 Speaker 02 Did he? Bebs is quite cool now, isn't he? He's kind of moved into the elder statesman of pop.
28:40 Speaker 00 That's mad and he's probably thirty six.
28:43 Speaker 02 Yeah.
28:43 Speaker 00 You're my girlfriend. We've had enough. Oh my god. You, you, it would be very difficult to elevate a pitch this show because our emails are either about icks or laids.
28:53 Speaker 02 We've had an awful lot of emails about Generation Lath, because John doesn't think that Gen Z have access to lath.
29:01 Speaker 01 Well, the hashtag from thirst is Generation Lathless.
29:04 Speaker 02 Yes.
29:04 Speaker 01 Because we live amongst a generation who no longer interact with lathes. Does Hannah use lathes in her DT, or has that all been kicked out?
29:14 Speaker 02 No, I think she does.
29:15 Speaker 01 By the bloody woke brigade.
29:18 Speaker 02 Hannah is a DT teacher, secondary school.
29:21 Speaker 00 A DTT.
29:22 Speaker 02 A DTT. I think lathes are in the mix.
29:24 Speaker 01 Are they in the mix? That's good to know.
29:26 Speaker 02 Oh, there's a lot of, there's a lot of dangerous machinery.
29:28 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
29:28 Speaker 02 Because people, she comes home and says, Josh got his hair trapped again.
29:32 Speaker 01 Oh, my God. Then she would lose her job.
29:34 Speaker 02 No, she's very, she's very good.
29:36 Speaker 00 Oh, I suppose as well, I dropped DT in year nine, but at A level, they'll be doing really elaborate stuff with lathes and things.
29:43 Speaker 02 Oh, they're making skyscrapers through lathes.
29:48 Speaker 00 Yeah, I made the shard for my A level.
29:50 Speaker 02 Justin Bieber has a song called My Girlfriend.
29:52 Speaker 01 There you go.
29:53 Speaker 02 Yeah.
29:54 Speaker 00 Cunning CEOs of content. As a devotee of the podcast, thanks to Retro Warner and Sister Extraordinaire Harriet, I of course pre-ordered a signed copy of John's book. Imagine my bewildered amusement when suddenly I found myself reading about Hannah, but hashtag Generation Lathless and men who have both a lathe and a vice bolted to a workbench. And I'm forced to accept that I have in fact married demands such as this.
30:19 Speaker 01 Green flag.
30:20 Speaker 00 My engineer husband, Andrew, not only owns a considerable amount of Swaafiga and has a vice bolted to his workbench, he also gleefully bought himself a lathe recently. Not just any lathe, an M and S, no, a 300 kilogram small lathe.
30:35 Speaker 01 Dipped in gorgeous Belgian milk chocolate.
30:41 Speaker 00 What a great practical joke. That would be on capital, a big lathe dipped in chocolate and everyone breaks their teeth on it.
30:46 Speaker 01 A salted caramel lathe.
30:51 Speaker 00 Was that lathe got honeycomb in it? Ooh, they're my favourite chocolate lathes. Um, not just any lathe, the 300kg small, in inverted commas, lathe that took two grown men to pick up in a large van from another grown man who was even more gleeful about getting rid of it. When asked what he planned to do with said lathe, Andrew's an electronic engineer, you know, small stuff and things, he replied, make bits of metal smaller.
31:15 Speaker 01 Yes.
31:16 Speaker 00 When sent a picture of the fateful moment in John's wonderful book, he looked appalled because to him, having a lathe makes perfect sense. The only question is, what's next? Thank you for the wondrous content, Alexia.
31:28 Speaker 01 You would die such a happy man to know you'd spent your life making bits of metal smaller. I think that's such an honest pursuit.
31:37 Speaker 00 Noble.
31:38 Speaker 01 So noble.
31:39 Speaker 00 Yeah.
31:40 Speaker 01 Just putting something back into this broken country and that thing is a small bit of metal that fits into the holes in Britain.
31:49 Speaker 00 Okay. God, yeah. Wow. You've been watching a lot of party political broadcasts or something, haven't you?
31:55 Speaker 01 This is from Claire in Newcastle. Hello, my charitable champs. I couldn't help but share that my good friend Nicky has recently acquired his very own lathe to achieve a long-held ambition of producing his own pool cues from his workshop in Newcastle upon Tyne. Does he use a lathe for that?
32:12 Speaker 00 We once had a pool cue designer on the pod. I want pool cue making back on the Tyne.
32:18 Speaker 01 We did. We didn't have a pool cue maker on.
32:20 Speaker 00 We had a snooker cue designer.
32:22 Speaker 01 Did we?
32:22 Speaker 00 Because it turns. I think the design's fairly locked in with snooker. Well.
32:28 Speaker 00 All right, a snooker cue maker, because basically there's this unsung hero, he basically has monopolised snooker cue.
32:36 Speaker 01 John Paris.
32:37 Speaker 00 Maybe, yeah. Because he does it for all of them, doesn't he? In the same way, in the same way that like Winmau have absolutely monopolised dartboards. Yes. God, they must be coining it in Winmau. Winmau have cornered it.
32:51 Speaker 01 Oh, there's other, there's Unicorn.
32:53 Speaker 00 There is. Okay.
32:54 Speaker 01 There's others.
32:54 Speaker 00 All right.
32:56 Speaker 01 We, his friends, have been kept abreast of all things lathe. And the those that were physically strong, I love the those. And the those that were physically strong enough have helped him lug his new toy into place. I thought you might like to know that one is still very much in operation for creative endeavour. I've yet to find out if he has a trusty tub of Swarf Eager to hand, though. Love the show. All the best, Claire in Newcastle. Wowzers. The those. I'm going to be saying that a lot.
33:29 Speaker 00 We've had this in, I mean, this is mainly for me, so I'm going to read it out selfishly. Said about a 36, I have a Welsh bike ride odyssey. Dear Ellis John and producer Dave, I'm writing to you as I've just completed a bike challenge last weekend that I think will be of interest to Ellis as an opportunity to further combine his interests of comery connecting and cycling. The Brian Chapman Memorial is a long distance cycling event known as an AUDAX. I've never actually heard that word before. These events, while often a musical in nature, are always very, very, very long. In this case, a 600 kilometre route from Chepstow in the South West, upwards to Menai Bridge, which is in North West Wales, at which point you turn around and head back to Chepstow where you started.
34:11 Speaker 01 Wow.
34:12 Speaker 00 That's in a car, that I would dread that drive in a car.
34:16 Speaker 01 Is it B road bonanza?
34:18 Speaker 00 Yeah, well, in a car, you'd be doing all N A roads, but it's just so windy.
34:25 Speaker 02 I once did a bungee jump in Chepstow.
34:26 Speaker 00 Did you?
34:27 Speaker 02 Yeah, Europe's biggest bungee jump.
34:29 Speaker 01 Wow.
34:30 Speaker 02 Yeah, it was an odd promotion for XFM where I had to get sent around and have to get my heart rate increased. So across a week, I went skydiving, bungee jumping.
34:41 Speaker 01 Did you?
34:42 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:43 Speaker 01 You won a dead scare.
34:44 Speaker 02 It was great, actually.
34:45 Speaker 01 No, thank you.
34:47 Speaker 02 It's like a racing track. Abseiling was a bit of a poor one.
34:51 Speaker 00 That must have been a fun job, Dave.
34:53 Speaker 02 That was fun because it was, what was that film that came out where he had to keep his heart rate up?
34:57 Speaker 01 Limitless.
34:58 Speaker 02 No, crank or something.
35:00 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, with Jason Statham.
35:01 Speaker 02 Statham. So I had to just go and do stuff that would raise my heart.
35:04 Speaker 01 Could we do that but where I do things that lower my heart rate?
35:07 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah, like a meditation weekend.
35:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, and then the end you put me in a fridge in a morgue. For a bit, so bleak.
35:13 Speaker 00 You said you were in a good mood earlier.
35:15 Speaker 01 I am, that would be calming and cold.
35:18 Speaker 00 Yeah.
35:19 Speaker 02 Smoke a big doobie.
35:20 Speaker 01 Smoke a big doobie. Oh no, that would raise your heart rate.
35:23 Speaker 02 It actually would, yeah.
35:25 Speaker 00 Okay. Who's Brian, you might ask, and why does he need remembering? Well, legend has it that Brian was so loyal to his North Whalian bike mechanic that he would drive the same route from Chepstow to Menai Bridge to visit the mechanic, get a tune-up, then turn around and pedal home.
35:40 Speaker 01 Surely that many miles is going to cause wear and tear on your bike that means you then immediately need to turn around at Chepstow and go back again?
35:47 Speaker 00 That was the life Brian chose.
35:49 Speaker 01 Brian's thick.
35:51 Speaker 00 So last weekend, a band of 130 mostly older men, plus me, a 32-year-old young and relevant lady cyclist, set off in Brian's tracks to retrace his route through Wales. I won't sugarcoat it, it was hard. Low lights include crying into a flapjack on the side of the road in Hay-on-Wye. You haven't actually gone very far if you're in Hay-on-Wye, unless you're on the way back.
36:11 Speaker 01 Maybe she was crying about something else. That's bad news.
36:14 Speaker 00 Maybe she read a sad text message from them. I mean, if she's on the way back, Hay-on-Wye, she's almost done it, so she'd be 550km in or something. Getting drenched in what felt like a hurricane in Llanberis. A lot of inclement weather in Llanberis. Getting attacked by a bat on Barmouth Railway Bridge. Discovering the sad reality of closures of public toilets in rural Wales. Yes. Not to mention the many brutal climbs throughout the Rury. Oh my god. I mean, it's so steep around there. There's no donia in the Rury. Right. I do want to say thank you for your part in getting me through this 36-hour Welsh odyssey. In dark moments, I would distract myself, wondering who Ellis might know in the town I was cycling through, be that Abbot Davy or Bilt Wells. Imagining myself traversing Ellis's map of connections.
36:56 Speaker 00 I also kept myself entertained singing the connection jingle as I passed Harlech at dusk. As a final hail mary, I had the latest app of the pod downloaded and ready to deploy as an extra boost. And as hope, this really helped me through a particularly bad funk somewhere near Knighton. My friend broke his arm in Knighton. Anyway. I think with a bit more training, the Brian Chapman memorial would be perfect for Ellis. The opportunity to see wheels pass by, nay, absorb wheels on a bicycle is truly one I can thoroughly recommend. Being only a quarter Welsh, living in Bristol, I was not able to benefit from the Cumbria connecting boosts of energy I know Ellis would get, although I fear I got close to knowing what must be like, what that must be like when I cycle connected with a lovely man from Swansea in the final miles, chatting about bikes and distracting me from the pain enough to finish
37:39 Speaker 00 the ride together beaming. Ellis with his secret weapon would conquer the hills and vales of this route, I'm sure of it. Keep cycling, Jess from Bristol.
37:48 Speaker 01 You could make a heartwarming travelogue doc, you know.
37:51 Speaker 00 Where I cried into a flapjack.
37:53 Speaker 01 You could cry into a flapjack and go through a thunderstorm and you could call it,
38:01 Speaker 01 Elis James Wheels is from Wheels. It's not one of your best.
38:07 Speaker 00 Wheels, Wheels, Wheels Through Wales.
38:09 Speaker 01 Wheels, Wales by Wheels.
38:12 Speaker 00 Wheels by Wheels. Yeah, that's nice. Elis James is Wheels by Wheels. Right, BBC Wales, if you're listening.
38:17 Speaker 01 No, come on, back yourself.
38:19 Speaker 02 Netflix, Netflix it, mate. Disney Plus. Disney Plus.
38:24 Speaker 00 Yeah, I'll do it for Apple and I'll get paid a hundred million thousand grand.
38:29 Speaker 01 A hundred million thousand grand, Dave, for Wheels Through Wales. I'd watch Wheels Through Wales.
38:35 Speaker 00 Well, I would hope you would.
38:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, I would, though.
38:37 Speaker 00 You're my friend.
38:38 Speaker 01 Yeah, I know.
38:39 Speaker 00 Yeah, you didn't watch fancy football, do you? But that's fine.
38:41 Speaker 01 No, God, no. Don't have Sky.
38:42 Speaker 02 I don't have Sky, to be fair.
38:43 Speaker 00 Oh, thanks, Dave.
38:44 Speaker 02 Sorry, I wasn't going to get a subscription just for it.
38:47 Speaker 00 I would have done if you'd been presenting fancy football.
38:49 Speaker 02 It's expensive.
38:52 Speaker 01 Right, I think it's time to lower Ellis's heart rate, Dave.
38:56 Speaker 00 Okay.
38:56 Speaker 01 With some wisdom.
38:57 Speaker 00 Right.
39:08 Speaker 03 I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone and I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh, anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody listen. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade in needed and the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for Watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.
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40:12 Speaker 01 Right then, everyone. A couple of weeks ago, Elis poured scorn on wisdom. He set the cause of mindfulness back a thousand million years.
40:23 Speaker 00 No, it's a shame.
40:23 Speaker 01 Shall we play a clip, Dave?
40:26 Speaker 00 Okay.
40:26 Speaker 01 The glass is already broken.
40:28 Speaker 00 No, it's not. I can see it.
40:30 Speaker 01 Ellis, the glass is already broken.
40:33 Speaker 00 No, I'm looking at it.
40:36 Speaker 01 It's already broken.
40:37 Speaker 00 But I'm not partially sighted, I'm fine.
40:41 Speaker 00 I'm broken.
40:41 Speaker 02 What does that mean? I'm more interested in this than him.
40:45 Speaker 00 Oh, no, you're not. Digging at the Cortinas.
40:50 Speaker 01 The Cortinas have already disbanded.
40:53 Speaker 00 What?
40:54 Speaker 02 No, they've not. No, I'm with Ellis now.
40:56 Speaker 01 So there you go. Ellis bringing his cynicism to the world of Zen.
41:03 Speaker 00 It's just common sense.
41:04 Speaker 02 It's pragmatism.
41:05 Speaker 00 Common sense.
41:06 Speaker 02 That's good, Ellis. Blummin' heck, John, you gotta give it it.
41:11 Speaker 01 It doesn't really work.
41:13 Speaker 02 It works brilliantly.
41:16 Speaker 00 God, please, I'm that.
41:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, I would be.
41:18 Speaker 00 Common sense.
41:19 Speaker 01 That was superb.
41:21 Speaker 00 But he's desperately not to get a good rage about, which isn't very zen.
41:25 Speaker 01 I'm trying to make it work in my head and it does sort of work.
41:29 Speaker 00 If he was zen, he'd have let it go. But he doesn't practise what he preaches.
41:34 Speaker 01 Well, I have no preference, so it's neither good nor bad.
41:37 Speaker 00 What do you mean?
41:37 Speaker 01 It just is. Common sense.
41:39 Speaker 00 Okay.
41:40 Speaker 02 That's the best thing you've ever done.
41:42 Speaker 01 That was.
41:43 Speaker 02 It's not that good.
41:45 Speaker 01 Or is it? And it is at the same time.
41:48 Speaker 00 No, I did do a good one a couple of years ago. God, that's bad, isn't it? I did say something good a couple of years ago and you bailed me, but I don't remember what it was.
41:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, good stuff. Anyway, I suggested that we need to introduce Ellis to more Buddhist teachings.
42:03 Speaker 00 No, I've not heard these.
42:05 Speaker 01 No, because you'd have no spiritual hinterland.
42:09 Speaker 00 Zero.
42:10 Speaker 01 Zero, and that's fine. And in many ways, Ellis, that's the goal. By having a spiritual experience, you realise that life is life.
42:21 Speaker 00 Yeah, I mean, obviously going on holiday with the kids next week, so I'll be taking ayahuasca.
42:28 Speaker 00 I'll be sick for 12 hours.
42:31 Speaker 02 Go on then, John.
42:32 Speaker 01 So do you want to hear this week's Buddhist parable?
42:36 Speaker 00 Oh, yeah, go on then.
42:37 Speaker 01 So this is the parable of the horse, sometimes known as the parable of the farmer.
42:41 Speaker 00 I'm allergic to them, so we're already in trouble.
42:43 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
42:44 Speaker 00 Yeah. Have you got any pedon?
42:46 Speaker 02 We've not, but we've got a little bit of zen music to play to get us in the in the mood. Shall we hit him with that?
42:53 Speaker 00 Oh, turn it off.
42:56 Speaker 02 Just right.
42:57 Speaker 01 Well, yeah, I guess so.
43:00 Speaker 01 So I get a lot of comfort from this parable.
43:03 Speaker 00 Okay.
43:04 Speaker 01 Once upon a time, there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day, his horse ran away.
43:10 Speaker 00 Did he leave?
43:15 Speaker 01 No, but he didn't like the changes to inheritance tax.
43:26 Speaker 01 So he was, he, he's, he's the sort of person who says, actually Clarkson's Farm is, is quite good.
43:35 Speaker 00 Okay, all right then. I didn't mind Clarkson's Farm.
43:37 Speaker 01 Everyone doesn't mind Clarkson's Farm.
43:39 Speaker 00 I'm related to farmers, but I've never asked them their opinions on Clarkson's Farm. Interesting. I might do that next time I'm back in Cardiff. I bet they're not keen.
43:46 Speaker 01 I would imagine they're not keen.
43:48 Speaker 00 I almost certainly they haven't watched it.
43:50 Speaker 01 Once upon a time, there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day, his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbours came to visit. Such bad luck, they said sympathetically.
44:03 Speaker 01 Maybe, the farmer replied.
44:05 Speaker 00 It is bad luck and he needs to, you know.
44:09 Speaker 01 Maybe, Alice.
44:12 Speaker 00 Is that the end of it?
44:12 Speaker 01 No.
44:14 Speaker 00 Well, he's had, he's had a stroke of bad luck there.
44:16 Speaker 01 Why?
44:17 Speaker 00 Well, he either needs to buy a tractor, if he can afford it.
44:21 Speaker 00 And he, you know, he, he needs to go to his bank and he needs to get a loan for a tractor.
44:25 Speaker 01 I think it's even, it's even more serious than that because this is pre-tractor, pre-bank.
44:29 Speaker 00 Okay, well then he needs to get hold of another horse.
44:31 Speaker 01 Maybe.
44:32 Speaker 00 All right then.
44:33 Speaker 01 The next morning, the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses.
44:40 Speaker 01 How wonderful, the neighbours exclaimed. Maybe.
44:44 Speaker 00 He needs to make his mind up.
44:48 Speaker 01 Maybe, replied the old man.
44:50 Speaker 00 Right, the guy's a lib dem.
44:58 Speaker 01 The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses.
45:03 Speaker 00 Okay.
45:03 Speaker 01 And was thrown off and broke his leg.
45:05 Speaker 00 Right, well then he's having an absolute nightmare.
45:08 Speaker 01 The neighbours came again to offer their-
45:10 Speaker 00 If he says maybe to this, this guy needs, this guy needs to give his head a shake.
45:15 Speaker 01 The neighbours again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. Maybe.
45:20 Speaker 00 Oh, this would drive me mad. It's like people that when you ask them to do something, they go, yeah, I can do. So he's like, you can do? He's in the parable age, so he won't have any access to, um, painkillers.
45:31 Speaker 01 No.
45:31 Speaker 00 His poor, his poor boy's broken his leg. I mean, this, he's having an absolute shocker. This is, this, right, at this stage now, I'm moving into a town. I'm thinking to myself, I'm going to get a job in a shop because I can't handle this. It's too unpredictable living on a farm.
45:49 Speaker 01 Maybe, answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbours congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. Maybe, said the farmer.
46:07 Speaker 02 It's quite rude at this point.
46:09 Speaker 00 It is rude.
46:11 Speaker 01 There endeth the lesson.
46:12 Speaker 00 It is rude. So his boy's not gone to the army.
46:14 Speaker 01 No.
46:15 Speaker 00 But he's got a broken leg, might be hobbled for life. I mean, it's only, it's, oh my god. It's only day two, so he's gonna be in absolute agony. This is gonna, this is gonna be horrific, this day.
46:26 Speaker 01 Well, they would have had-
46:27 Speaker 00 We don't know how bad a break it is. If he's been thrown off a wild horse, it could be a compound fracture.
46:31 Speaker 02 Yeah, it pierced the skin.
46:32 Speaker 00 Oh my god, he's Eduardo'd it. And he's having an absolute shocker here.
46:36 Speaker 01 But they probably did have healing balms and herbs and acupuncture.
46:40 Speaker 00 Give me more than a balm.
46:42 Speaker 02 So talk us through it, John, because I'm a big-
46:43 Speaker 00 I need a cast and I need morphine.
46:46 Speaker 02 So what's the message there?
46:48 Speaker 01 Well, there's several messages. I think the first message is-
46:52 Speaker 00 Puff your chest up and have an opinion.
46:53 Speaker 01 No.
46:56 Speaker 00 Have some pride.
46:57 Speaker 01 Well, it does relate to have no preference.
47:01 Speaker 02 Yeah.
47:01 Speaker 01 So by having no preference, none of those events stressed him out. Because neither of them were the result he wanted or didn't want. Because we don't know what the, sort of the final result. We don't, we never know what the end point will be.
47:18 Speaker 00 So who told you that? Or did you just-
47:21 Speaker 01 Buddha.
47:22 Speaker 00 No, but I mean, how did you interpret that? Are you told that that's what the interpretation? Or did you work that out from the text?
47:26 Speaker 01 Well, it's clear that that's what it's saying.
47:28 Speaker 00 No, no, what's clear to me is it's an annoying farmer from thousands of years ago.
47:31 Speaker 02 Quite non committal.
47:32 Speaker 00 Who doesn't deserve to have his story told.
47:34 Speaker 01 Well, say, for example, to put it in a modern context, like-
47:39 Speaker 02 It's roll with the punches, isn't it?
47:41 Speaker 01 It's not see them as punches.
47:43 Speaker 02 Okay.
47:44 Speaker 01 It's so like, say you're, um, say in your area where you live, there's three schools. One really good one.
47:53 Speaker 02 There is.
47:54 Speaker 01 Two that are really sort of below standard or getting bad off said reviews. And your kid needs to take a test to get to the good school. And they, they fail the test and they don't get in, right?
48:07 Speaker 00 Right. So they go to a school in special measures.
48:09 Speaker 01 Yeah, so, and that's something that stresses an enormous amount of parents out.
48:13 Speaker 00 Yes, my daughter's 11, yeah.
48:14 Speaker 01 Yeah. So- You're saying that if the thing I don't-
48:19 Speaker 00 If Izzy had said she's failed the test and she's going to a school in special measures and I'd, it's not bad and I'd said, maybe she would have left me.
48:30 Speaker 01 But who knows what the experience of going to a school in special measures-
48:37 Speaker 00 Has this farmer heard of the term educated guess?
48:41 Speaker 01 No, but who knows what that will go on to?
48:43 Speaker 00 Yes.
48:44 Speaker 01 What, what, you know, work ethic that might inspire, the people you might meet.
48:48 Speaker 00 Schools get turned around.
48:49 Speaker 01 Schools get, but also-
48:50 Speaker 00 There's a good school near me that was terrible about 15 years ago. Their teacher's done amazingly well. So yes, of course.
48:56 Speaker 01 Every single thing that has gone well in my life, I can trace back to an event I thought at the time was an error or a failure or a mistake.
49:05 Speaker 00 Okay.
49:05 Speaker 01 So like, for example, not getting into Oxford the first time, catastrophe.
49:11 Speaker 00 Yeah.
49:11 Speaker 01 Like at the time, there's no upside to that whatsoever.
49:14 Speaker 00 No.
49:15 Speaker 01 I had to work in a virgin megastore and I got a gambling addiction. It was, it was Walter Wall bad.
49:20 Speaker 00 Maybe.
49:21 Speaker 01 Exactly.
49:23 Speaker 01 Because now I can know, well, if that hadn't happened.
49:26 Speaker 00 Yeah, and you wrote a book and you monetized it.
49:27 Speaker 01 I wouldn't have been in the year I was at uni. I wouldn't have met the people I met.
49:32 Speaker 00 Yeah, this stuff, this stuff sends me insane, like the forks in the road.
49:36 Speaker 01 Well, that's exactly what it's about. It's saying never judge an event as good or bad until you have the longer perspective. And even then you don't know. So like, your, your partner leaves you, catastrophe. It's the worst heartbreak you've ever had in your life.
49:50 Speaker 00 Yeah.
49:51 Speaker 01 10 years later, you meet the best person you've ever met, or you learn that you, um, are so happy on your own. So no one's going to say cheer up because your partner's just left you. But what you might say is, bad outcomes, we shouldn't label outcomes bad or good. It's just life happening.
50:10 Speaker 00 Okay. I don't mind it.
50:12 Speaker 01 So there you go.
50:13 Speaker 00 What about diarrhea?
50:15 Speaker 01 Well, that's saving you from dying. Like if you've got food poisoning, it's getting poison out of your system.
50:20 Speaker 00 Yeah. Yeah, a bit of weight loss, yeah.
50:23 Speaker 01 And if you hadn't done it in front of that head teacher, then maybe your daughter would have got into the good school that was wrong for her.
50:32 Speaker 00 Yeah. Yeah. Also, if you've got nothing on diarrhea, it could be a bit of, bit of fun. Ah, yeah, it fills the day. Are you, how are you feeling?
50:39 Speaker 01 That's the second time you've said that in as many weeks.
50:44 Speaker 01 He's got really strong opinions on the upsides of diarrhea.
50:49 Speaker 00 What I find interesting about it is that if, I suppose you've got to be ready, you've got to be ready to, to absorb that kind of parable. So if I'd, if I'd given you the parable of the farmer to read when you were 18 and you'd failed to get into Oxford the first time, and you were going to work in a Virgin Megastole for a year and get a gambling addiction, I would like to know how ready you were to accept that piece of wisdom.
51:16 Speaker 01 Very true. And it come, I think it probably comes from experience of the, also the farmer's not lost any time to sort of self criticism.
51:25 Speaker 00 Or Instagram.
51:27 Speaker 01 Or like depression or Instagram. He's, he's not wasted any of his time. So say you had, say your horse runs away and you have like a week of just throwing your arms up and staying in bed all day and, you know, woe is me. You probably more do more damage in that time to your own self and people around you than just going, who knows?
51:49 Speaker 02 There is, there is one, I, I like it. I'm a big fan because I think it takes a lot to be like that. That's a very strong person who's managing to just roll with those circumstances.
51:58 Speaker 01 But it's, it's, it's a lack of strength, it's acceptance.
52:02 Speaker 02 Yeah.
52:02 Speaker 01 But, yeah.
52:04 Speaker 02 So there's, there's going to be some houses built on a greenbelt near us. Hannah is livid because it's going to drive the highest prices down. I actually nearly meant that Lila couldn't get into the good school because the, the boundaries were going to shift.
52:16 Speaker 01 But what is the good school?
52:17 Speaker 02 It's the one that's the fourth best comprehensive school in the country.
52:20 Speaker 01 Yeah, but what does that mean?
52:21 Speaker 02 It means that.
52:22 Speaker 01 She might hate it.
52:23 Speaker 02 Well, she might do, but let me get to the point.
52:25 Speaker 01 It might be too much stress. It might be too much pressure. It might be too big. The, the, the, she might have an allergic reaction to the uniform.
52:33 Speaker 02 Okay.
52:33 Speaker 01 You never know.
52:35 Speaker 02 But Hannah, and I'm a bit, I don't think I'm a million miles away from that guy. I am a bit maybe at times. And Hannah's like, you're not livid about this. Have a bit of fury, have a bit of passion. So if you're always going, yeah, but you know, it's going right, it's gonna be okay. That can be quite infuriating for someone else who's quite passionate and fiery.
52:54 Speaker 01 What, who's that helping? It's not stopping a single brick being laid, that anger.
52:59 Speaker 02 Oh, well, no, she signed a petition because of her anger.
53:02 Speaker 00 Also.
53:03 Speaker 01 But sign the petition without the anger. You can still have opinions on stuff.
53:07 Speaker 00 Yeah, you can. What's interesting is if, sometimes it can be very irritating if a loved one is not on the same emotional wavelength as you.
53:15 Speaker 02 Yes.
53:15 Speaker 00 Like, I remember a friend of mine, she was, she's lovely and she had a really lovely, extremely laid back boyfriend, like an incredibly chilled out guy. And she was very pretty and so, so men would flirt with her all the time because she was attractive. And he never cared because he was so, he was like a proper ex-surf dude and also probably inwardly quite confident. And I remember she told me when she said, I wouldn't mind if he got a bit jealous of her. She wasn't going out there and soliciting for it. It's just that it would happen because she was pretty. It was obvious what was happening and he'd be like, all right. And then he'd be like shaking hands with the guy like, yeah, nice to meet you. She was like, B, hate him.
53:56 Speaker 01 Are they still together?
53:57 Speaker 00 No.
53:58 Speaker 01 See, maybe that reflects that actually he wasn't as invested in the relationship as she would have liked.
54:05 Speaker 00 Maybe, yeah.
54:06 Speaker 02 Maybe.
54:07 Speaker 00 I can't say maybe now without reminding me of an old farmer who's lost his horse.
54:13 Speaker 01 That comes back with three more horses.
54:15 Speaker 00 With three more wild horses.
54:17 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah.
54:17 Speaker 00 That's a problem.
54:19 Speaker 01 No, not when the son's taming them before breaking his leg, which keeps him out of the army.
54:24 Speaker 00 You often say.
54:27 Speaker 00 You don't like big gifts because you've got such a small house.
54:30 Speaker 01 Hmm.
54:31 Speaker 00 And one phrase you used once, which I think about all the time, is that you haven't given me a gift, you've given me a problem. Now I need to dispose of this thing. So tomorrow, I'm gonna have a hundred shoeboxes of stuff sent to your house. And then I, when you receive it, I want the delivery driver to say, it's a problem, mate. For you to say, maybe.
54:52 Speaker 01 Maybe.
54:53 Speaker 00 I'm gonna get you a big beanbag.
54:54 Speaker 01 Maybe.
54:55 Speaker 00 Maybe, mate, maybe.
54:58 Speaker 01 Yes.
54:58 Speaker 00 Good. Well, there we go. And I think we also, I mean, if this was to turn into a feature, it's got to be called common sense, hasn't it, at this stage?
55:06 Speaker 01 I think it has got to be called common sense.
55:08 Speaker 00 Swing the paddle again, Dave. Go on, Ed.
55:23 Speaker 05 Thanks very much indeed. Our football correspondent, John Murray. Ellis and John are coming up. How are you, gentlemen?
55:31 Speaker 00 Very good, thanks, Adrian. But I'm gonna have to sign out of this because I'm so upset with it. I haven't qualified for the World Cup.
55:38 Speaker 05 Oh, yes.
55:39 Speaker 00 It's put me in a very bad mood, actually.
55:41 Speaker 01 So you've just got me, Adrian, and I hate the World Cup.
55:43 Speaker 05 Well, let's not talk, let's not talk about. I've got a question for you both. Do you know anybody with very small hands?
55:50 Speaker 01 Uh, yes, but I'm not going to name them.
55:54 Speaker 05 Okay. Just, I'll tell you why. Because I bought my mom some new rubber gloves for the kitchen.
56:00 Speaker 01 That's a terrible idea and a bad present. And have you ever met a woman?
56:03 Speaker 05 No, no, it wasn't a present. She asked me for some. And I went and got them. And I'd bought extra, extra small. My mom's not a large woman, but she said, she swore at me terribly Croatian and said, this is, you could, a newborn couldn't get their hands into these. And I've got extra, extra small marigolds. And I've got, don't throw them away. I just don't know anyone to give them. So if you hear of anybody with, who'd like some extra small marigolds.
56:29 Speaker 01 You could use them as a, to sort of impersonate as chicken? Fill them with water and use them and paint a face on them and use them to distract a child.
56:39 Speaker 02 I know. We can all go around to Adrian's house and have like a pool party and use them as water bombs.
56:46 Speaker 00 Yeah.
56:47 Speaker 05 Yes, yes, that's an idea. Well, before we go to those.
56:49 Speaker 01 You can keep them in the glove box in case you get caught short on the, on the M40.
56:53 Speaker 05 Well, they'd be no good, would they? Because they're just too small.
56:56 Speaker 01 Really?
56:57 Speaker 05 Oh, I see, caught short in that way. I see what you mean. Let's, let's not, let's not go there. Anyway, look, we can have fun with them.
57:02 Speaker 01 To get caught short.
57:04 Speaker 05 Well, I thought you might, I don't know what I meant. Just, just look, I started this, so I'll, I'll, I'll, I will bring it to an end. Any other matters? Look, if you know anyone's got small hands, just tell them, I'll send them those marigolds free of charge. Pay the postage and everything. You enjoying the heat? I don't know if you, either of you are down as.
57:20 Speaker 02 I hate it. I love it because I find the winter so miserable when it then is eventually warm. I just feel a sort of churlish to complain so I can talk myself into loving it. John absolutely detests it because he got sunstroke in Thailand in 1998 and he never got over it.
57:38 Speaker 05 Hmm. All right. Okay. Well, you, you take care. Get your, um.
57:43 Speaker 01 I've got the little reflective thing up in the windscreen of my car already to stop my car seat getting too hot.
57:48 Speaker 05 Even while you're driving.
57:49 Speaker 01 Right, everyone, do keep sending in your mad dads and your Shane Wells to [email protected] because we haven't done those for a while and we'd like to bring them back. But we have exciting news.
58:05 Speaker 02 Ring fenced news.
58:07 Speaker 01 Ring fenced news.
58:08 Speaker 02 We don't need to say that.
58:09 Speaker 01 No, it's Dave's ring fenced section.
58:11 Speaker 02 We should definitely call it that. We need a jingle.
58:14 Speaker 00 Operation Ring Fence.
58:15 Speaker 02 Operation Ring Fence.
58:16 Speaker 01 Um, because this is for, uh, non-sounds listeners only, but our new adventure has landed.
58:24 Speaker 02 No, no, it's not.
58:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:26 Speaker 02 No, we've, no, we've, we're announcing what the next adventure is.
58:30 Speaker 01 I thought you said it'd already been announced on Patreon.
58:32 Speaker 02 Yes, this announcement. So we're just repeating what, what has happened on Patreon today.
58:37 Speaker 00 Is this now going to be a ring fence section in the ring fence section?
58:40 Speaker 02 This is going to go out next Friday and this is to announce what it is that we're doing to build a bit of excitement.
58:47 Speaker 01 For people who aren't on Patreon.
58:48 Speaker 02 Well, but also for the people who are on Patreon to get excited.
58:50 Speaker 01 So what I should have said was, for those of you not on Patreon and not on BBC Sounds, here's some exciting news.
58:59 Speaker 02 You just don't need to say any of that. You just, just offer the exciting news of what the next adventure is.
59:04 Speaker 01 Maybe.
59:08 Speaker 01 Our most recent adventure is coming soon.
59:10 Speaker 02 Yes, this time next week. It'll be out next Friday.
59:13 Speaker 01 But that's annoying, isn't it?
59:13 Speaker 02 No, it's a nice little bit. It's a prequel.
59:18 Speaker 02 People like to know what's coming because they invest in you two and your excursion. So actually to give them a bit of a heads up of what the next one is.
59:24 Speaker 01 Oh, we're going to a wetland centre. You've got a week to think about it.
59:34 Speaker 01 Will there be grebes? Please, Dave.
59:38 Speaker 02 You've got a week to think about it.
59:40 Speaker 01 Well, they do, Dave. They're getting excited.
59:41 Speaker 00 They're invested in us, Dave.
59:43 Speaker 02 The good news is the next adventure, after a cracking Croydon Mini Olympics.
59:47 Speaker 01 Yes.
59:48 Speaker 02 After a heartfelt run around.
59:50 Speaker 00 Will there be a cormorant?
59:52 Speaker 02 The London Marathon. We are going bird watching.
59:55 Speaker 01 Yeah. And to wet your whistle even more, I'm not going to tell you which wetland centre it is. Could be Slimbridge.
1:00:02 Speaker 00 So you could just be guessing. Yeah, it could be Llanelly Wetland Centre.
1:00:05 Speaker 01 Could be Llanelly Wetland Centre, Dave.
1:00:07 Speaker 02 We recorded it a couple of months ago, actually. It's in the bag and it was lovely. And it's got, it's got an element of gone fishing about it, I'd say, in the vibe and the tone.
1:00:15 Speaker 01 Dave, let that be a subtext for the commissioners.
1:00:18 Speaker 00 Come on, Dave. You know they're listening and ignoring us.
1:00:22 Speaker 01 We're going to be national treasures by the time they see me attack that swan.
1:00:28 Speaker 02 So yes, bird watching kicked its head off.
1:00:29 Speaker 01 I kicked its head off, Dave.
1:00:31 Speaker 00 Yes, he kicked its head right off his body.
1:00:34 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:00:36 Speaker 00 Because he was worried it was going to break his arm.
1:00:38 Speaker 01 Yeah. Which might or might not be, have been a bad thing, depending on whether national service came back.
1:00:45 Speaker 00 There's, yeah, there's some very funny lines in it. Also, it's one of the, it's one of the few adventures that I, in my personal life, will continue to repeat for years to come. Because obviously my son loves going bird watching.
1:00:58 Speaker 01 Does Betty love birds?
1:01:00 Speaker 00 No, but she'll come with us. But she's not, it's not her thing. No, but, so yeah, like I will never do another pentathlon, I don't think.
1:01:10 Speaker 01 Oh, I got a real taste for them. I've joined my local pentathlon society.
1:01:15 Speaker 00 But I will be going bird watching again. So yeah, it was, it was a lot of fun and excitingly, even I've got a whole seven days just to, just to consider how much fun it's going to be and invest and continue to invest in us.
1:01:26 Speaker 02 It was good. A pigeon nearly flew into my head. Caroline was lovely.
1:01:29 Speaker 01 Yeah. Don't do spoilers, Dave. Good grief, man.
1:01:34 Speaker 00 All right. A type of bird nearly flew into my head.
1:01:37 Speaker 01 Yeah. And someone.
1:01:38 Speaker 00 Tune in to see what type of bird.
1:01:40 Speaker 01 Was nice.
1:01:40 Speaker 00 And someone beginning with C.
1:01:43 Speaker 01 Was nice.
1:01:43 Speaker 00 Was nice.
1:01:44 Speaker 01 So that's up on Patreon in a week.
1:01:47 Speaker 00 Yeah.
1:01:48 Speaker 01 Subscribe on there. Um, if that's, if that, if that's your haunt.
1:01:57 Speaker 01 But we can't say goodbye here in the ring fence, so.
1:01:59 Speaker 00 Yeah, we can.
1:02:00 Speaker 01 We need to say goodbye to people on sound.
1:02:01 Speaker 00 We can say goodbye twice because what do you do? You go, goodbye.
1:02:04 Speaker 01 Goodbye. Goodbye. If you want to watch it, head to patreon.com forward slash Ellis and John. And.
1:02:12 Speaker 00 Slash.
1:02:13 Speaker 01 Many other wonders there, including behind the scenes footage of a Taskmaster football game.
1:02:18 Speaker 00 Yes. Great commentary provided by John.
1:02:22 Speaker 01 And lots of quips.
1:02:23 Speaker 00 Quite moving commentary.
1:02:25 Speaker 02 Big in the quip game these days.
1:02:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, we're big into quips.
1:02:28 Speaker 00 Anyway, that's it from us. We'll be back on Saturday with a bit of change.
1:02:31 Speaker 02 Of the mind.
1:02:33 Speaker 00 That is contractual.
1:02:35 Speaker 01 Or is it?
1:02:37 Speaker 00 Yeah, no, it is. That's the one thing where he will never say maybe. The idea that John's signing off on a contract and just going, maybe. It's, it's, it's out of the question. Uh, we'll be back, as I said, on Saturday with a bit of change of the mind and then with another show on Tuesday. Thank you very much for listening. Goodbye.
1:02:54 Speaker 01 Bye bye.
1:03:02 Speaker 03 I've got big news. I switched to Verizon and got the new iPhone 18 Pro. Shh. I can keep my old phone and I also get the latest iPhone every year. Shh, anything else? Verizon let me choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on them. Everybody listen up. Shh. Switch to Verizon and get the new iPhone 18 Pro now. No trade in needed and the latest iPhone every year with Simplicity Plan. Plus, choose Apple Watch Series 12 or iPad on us. Simplicity Plan with Simplicity Pro required. Plan and device payment purchase are separate agreements with separate terms. Service plan for Watch or iPad required. Additional terms apply for all offers.
1:03:34 Speaker 01 Thanks for listening to the show and you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Ellis and John for more content.
1:03:40 Speaker 00 And you can watch highlights of every episode over on our YouTube page at Ellis and John.
1:03:45 Speaker 01 Plus, you can find all things E J J R, including links to our Patreon, our merch and much more by heading to ellisonjohn.com. See you next time.
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