#591 - Panini O’Clock, Sugar My Puddings and The Old Breakfast Cheesecake

Wales is a major player in the panini scene. Elis opens our eyes and our minds about the toasted sandwich that fuels the nation. Where was the panini invented? When was the word first mentioned in the press? And which came first, the sticker or the food? Look no further. It’s time for a panini. Elsewhere, Dave is working on project Hunkageddon 2027 and has bought some adjustable dumbbells, ignoring the advice of our resident wise stepdad, John. And what of Johnny JR? He’s been in Dictionary Corner with Dent and has proven cheesecake really can be breakfast. All this, plus Elis takes a trip into the Wider Gwion Universe in the Cymru Connection and Dave loses faith in a Made Up Game. Do you have a favourite kitchen utensil? Get in touch [email protected] For lots of exclusive EJJR #content, join our Patreon at patreon.com/elisandjohn. For weekly visual highlights, head to youtube.com/@elisandjohn. For everything else, head to elisandjohn.com Elis James and John Robins is a Significant Production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy https://acast.com/privacy for more information.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

  Great meeting. Who took notes? Anyone?

• 0:35Speaker 02

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• 1:19Speaker 03

  Hello, everyone. Last week, the townsfolk of Raglan awoke to find a decree from the High Druid of Gwent pinned to the castle walls. Let it be known amongst the small holders and animal husbands that by sundown, his lordship requires four ferkins of egg white and 1,500weight of cane sugar. Elis James is returning and has with him recipes from the east. A banquet will be held for every man nor woman Welsh nor Bournemouth when the moon begins its wane. Yes, following his exploits on the Elis James and John Robins show, Ellis had introduced the meringue to Wales. On seeing the fully visualized episode in which Ellis created this strange delicacy,

• 2:02Speaker 03

  the heads of the eight counties of Wales immediately held a conclave and decided that the meringue must be rolled out to the Welsh people, beginning with Monmouthshire and Gwent. And fearing a nationwide revolt should the treat be kept from the populace, they sent messengers with the recipe in both English and Welsh. Their results were mixed. One fisherman in Newport attempted to replace the egg white with salt water and the sugar with wool, leading to an outbreak of hoof and bowel amongst all that tried the resulting hair slurry.

• 2:31Speaker 04

  We've never made a brine meringue.

• 2:33Speaker 03

  In Aberguvenny, two hectares of grazing land were lost in an explosion when an eager group of youths attempted to make an underground meringue, which caused a sinkhole to open up. And though no lives were lost, the making of unlicensed meringues has been banned until Ellis himself can demonstrate their safe production. And so we wish him well on his great meringue tour, where he will visit over 100 towns and villages across Wales, expanding their culinary expertise, educating their palates and building bridges with the rest of the UK.

• 3:04Speaker 04

  But the thing is, over the years, we've been slow to move with culinary trends. My mother still vividly remembers her first kiwi fruit. I mean, I don't think I had a mango until I was 25.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  Why is that, do you think?

• 3:23Speaker 03

  The Welsh are a broth-based society.

• 3:27Speaker 03

  And you can't, you can't just introduce a mango into a broth.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  No, God goodness.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  Because they'll be like, well, it doesn't make sense with the leeks.

• 3:34Speaker 04

  We are, we are broth, broth and stodge based. So a kiwi fruit is just too exotic, isn't it?

• 3:42Speaker 03

  There are people of scone.

• 3:44Speaker 04

  And people are suspicious of new things. But I think that's true all over the world. But, but yeah. Like, I don't know if I, trying to think about introducing new, new foods to my dad. My dad vividly remembers his first curry and he was like, someone has put an explosion in my mouth. Why, why would I want this?

• 4:04Speaker 03

  You know, when they sort of rebranded the Aperol spritz?

• 4:08Speaker 04

  Did they?

• 4:09Speaker 03

  Well, yeah, for years it had just been something that gathered dust in the backs of bars.

• 4:14Speaker 04

  Oh, fabulous.

• 4:15Speaker 03

  So they gave it a big ad campaign. So that what didn't happen in Wales, what they did is they got someone from Bristol to describe it in Morse code using a light at Avonmouth. And someone from, from Newport reported back that, oh, there's this new drink that tastes like earwax, but it's actually quite an old drink.

• 4:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. But then what happens is, you know, you learn to like love these things.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  I had a summer of Aperol spritzes. But then I saw the light.

• 4:44Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah? And the light was desperadoes.

• 4:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, my palate just kind of went off quite quickly.

• 4:53Speaker 04

  Because I tell you one thing, if you spend any time in Wales, my God, we've embraced the panini. Have you? Well done. It is huge.

• 5:02Speaker 01

  Is the Aperol spritz big in Wales?

• 5:04Speaker 04

  No, I think I'm quite anti Aperol spritz. So if it is, I'm ignoring that.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  I do have to pick you up on something though, that panini was invented in the eighties. That's true.

• 5:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, when we got into it about five years ago.

• 5:17Speaker 03

  I see.

• 5:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, that's, that's the point I'm trying to make.

• 5:20Speaker 03

  The panini is a modern food stuff.

• 5:22Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 5:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:23Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had one in Wales the first time in 2019. But since then, we've, we, we've just fallen in love with it. You can get, honestly, from, from Radder to Rydder, you can get panini. It's, it's, it's panini o'clock all of the, when the sun sets over the yardarm, it's time for another panini.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  You can only have so many paninis though, guys.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  That's the ad campaign. It's time for another panini.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  It sounds like it's a bit of an ordeal though, when you say it like that.

• 5:58Speaker 04

  Oh my God, it's time for another, it's time for the panini.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  Well, you don't say it like that in the advert. You say, it's time for another panini.

• 6:07Speaker 04

  It's time for another panini.

• 6:10Speaker 03

  I wonder if.

• 6:10Speaker 04

  But not just any panini, a ham and cheese panini.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  Which came first, the panini or the panini sticker?

• 6:18Speaker 04

  The panini sticker, I reckon.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  Do you reckon?

• 6:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, panini stickers have been known for years. And it's a different spelling.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  The panini is like 81 or 84.

• 6:26Speaker 04

  How do you know that? Good fact, but I.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  Um, I was, think I was doing research about the ploughmans, which was invented in the 50s by the cheese board to back British cheese.

• 6:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  And, and alongside that were other foods that were more modern than you think.

• 6:44Speaker 04

  The ploughmans again caught on.

• 6:46Speaker 01

  Can I give you a bit more information?

• 6:48Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 6:48Speaker 03

  I wish you would, Dave.

• 6:50Speaker 04

  It's time for another bit of panini information.

• 6:54Speaker 01

  Because it does go for a bit further back than you think.

• 6:57Speaker 03

  Okay. Isn't it Italian for shoe?

• 7:01Speaker 01

  Well, in the 1950s, the first written reference to panini in US media appeared in 1954, New York, in the New York Times article.

• 7:09Speaker 04

  But they're not talking about the stickers, Dave.

• 7:10Speaker 01

  No, no, sorry, I'm on the sandwiches here. So 1956 feels like an early reference. But John, modern stuffed and pressed paninis became a commercial trend in Milanese sandwich bars during the seventies and eighties.

• 7:24Speaker 04

  But the thing is though, I mean, in the 50s, America was the world's most forward-looking society, wasn't it? Of course they're going to be into paninis before everyone else.

• 7:32Speaker 03

  Well, they needed a sandwich you could take to the moon. And once, once a panini has been pressed in a toaster and wrapped in foil, it's essentially space rations.

• 7:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:45Speaker 01

  Now, panini stickers. You carry on.

• 7:48Speaker 03

  We can't.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  I tell you what, this is interesting, kind of. Founded in 1961, so just a few years after the, the 56 panini in New York.

• 8:00Speaker 03

  They pre-exist the panini then?

• 8:03Speaker 04

  They certainly, I would say they'd entered British national consciousness before the food stuff. I definitely, like in 1986, there were more people aware of panini stickers than the panini food, I think. I mean, it would have been, I mean, it would have been the preserve of the London liberal media elite, wouldn't it? The panini in 1986. Whereas now it's everyone's food. It's everyone's sandwich.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  Text in 85058, what's your favourite panini?

• 8:31Speaker 04

  Time for another panini.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  Cheese. No one's.

• 8:35Speaker 03

  Well, that was a joke, Dave. I don't actually want to have the conversation or I will retire.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  Do a rapid response unit.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, we can maybe do that.

• 8:42Speaker 01

  Tune them out, John in Shrewsbury. Cause tune them out. Anyway, listen, let's, let's knock a bog down.

• 8:47Speaker 04

  Let the people decide, Dave. I love democracy and I will eat a panini. I wouldn't say I love them.

• 8:55Speaker 01

  I actually do. Big fan.

• 8:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, of course.

• 8:58Speaker 03

  I'm retiring in five seconds if we don't stop talking about what's your favourite panini. Cause that is the way down. That's the bottom, that's the rock bottom.

• 9:06Speaker 01

  That is.

• 9:06Speaker 04

  I had a mozzarella pesto and tomato on the other day.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

• 9:11Speaker 04

  Okay. Bring us back, big, bring us back from the brink, Dave. John.

• 9:16Speaker 03

  Ellis is 46. Dave, what have you been doing?

• 9:20Speaker 01

  Um, what have I been doing? I finally bought my adjustable dumbbells this week, John.

• 9:25Speaker 03

  Did you?

• 9:26Speaker 01

  That's, that's big news in my world. I'm going to get buff for 2027.

• 9:28Speaker 03

  How are they working out for you? Cause I was a bit sniffy about the adjustable dumbbell.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, not used them yet.

• 9:34Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Um, so they are.

• 9:35Speaker 04

  Only had them three months.

• 9:36Speaker 01

  I've had them four days. I was waiting for the bench. So I've now got the bench. So from tomorrow, hung again.

• 9:41Speaker 04

  You had them for, you had them for four days and you couldn't resist a couple of overhead presses.

• 9:45Speaker 01

  No.

• 9:46Speaker 04

  Couple of bicep curls.

• 9:47Speaker 01

  No, because I've got a bad back, Ellis.

• 9:49Speaker 04

  Right. Are you on, um, have you bought steroids to go with your new adjustable dumbbells? So you can look.

• 9:54Speaker 03

  How much were they?

• 9:55Speaker 01

  I didn't touch, doesn't matter. Cause actually it's investment in health. So even if I turned around to you and said they were 500 grand.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:02Speaker 01

  That's still a good investment over the years.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 10:05Speaker 01

  But if they were loads.

• 10:07Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  Then you could say, well, a gym membership's loads.

• 10:09Speaker 03

  So Ellis here was what I advised Dave as the wise stepdad figure in this three-way marriage we have.

• 10:16Speaker 01

  I've told John a lot about these adjustable dumbbells.

• 10:18Speaker 03

  Yeah. Adjustable dumbbells are mad expensive, right?

• 10:22Speaker 04

  Right.

• 10:22Speaker 03

  So I said, just buy one set of the weight you're going to use most often.

• 10:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:28Speaker 03

  If you're using them in six months' time still, if you're using them three times a week, then invest in the adjustable dumbbell.

• 10:34Speaker 04

  This is, you've, you've got the exact same energy as my dad. It's like, when I was about 10, I was desperate for a tube of tennis balls.

• 10:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 10:41Speaker 04

  And he said, I'll buy one tennis ball. And every time you lose it, you've got to find it.

• 10:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, but that's absolutely insane.

• 10:47Speaker 04

  No, no, because he was like, no, his argument was if I've got four. I'll, I'll hit a tennis ball into the hedge and then I won't bother looking for another one. I've got three left. So he was like, I wanted to value your tennis balls.

• 10:59Speaker 03

  Yeah, but I think like tennis balls are a more disposable item than dumbbells.

• 11:05Speaker 01

  I can't hit a dumbbell into the hedge. No.

• 11:07Speaker 04

  You're not strong enough yet.

• 11:09Speaker 03

  It would be a bit like your dad saying, you can have a tennis racket, but we're going to get you the cheap tennis racket. And if you're still playing in six months' time, you can have a good one and lessons for your birthday.

• 11:19Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  So I want, I want updates on the dumbbells, Dave.

• 11:23Speaker 01

  I will give you, I am going to use them because the, I, I got frustrated that I didn't really have the, the time to get to a gym. And I used to quite like going to a gym in my mid twenties. So the solution was.

• 11:33Speaker 04

  Seventeen years ago.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  So the solution was extortionate adjustable dumbbells. So now I've got the bench, I've got the bells. Watch me get blooming buff.

• 11:41Speaker 03

  You could have had my dumbbells.

• 11:42Speaker 01

  I don't want your, with the adjustable.

• 11:44Speaker 03

  No.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  I don't want one of yours then. I want, because obviously you need different weights to do different things.

• 11:50Speaker 03

  Not really.

• 11:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, of course you do. Ellis, tell him.

• 11:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, you know, you're, you're, you're, I mean, with your lovely big arms.

• 11:58Speaker 03

  So what, what weights do they go from and to?

• 12:00Speaker 01

  They go from one to 32.5.

• 12:03Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  So I've got it all covered.

• 12:06Speaker 03

  So I had a pair of 12 and a half kilos and a pair of 15 kilos.

• 12:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  They, the only thing they have given me are those little dents in your carpet that you can't get out and will appear on the survey of the house when it comes to be sold. The condition of the house, it will say furniture marks in the, in the carpet.

• 12:26Speaker 04

  Little dents.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  And someone will say, why are there two hexagonal dents? What's tiny piece of furniture he kept next to his fireplace, which is so heavy?

• 12:39Speaker 01

  That can't be a survey. A little dent in a carpet.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 12:42Speaker 04

  No, it is. Yeah, yeah.

• 12:43Speaker 03

  So I sold, I sold them for 20 quid on a WhatsApp group. You could have had them for free, Dave, but I wouldn't have carried them in. No, I would. Maybe I would.

• 12:52Speaker 04

  Quite heavy for one person for a, you know, a journey on your own.

• 12:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, 30 kilos.

• 12:57Speaker 01

  No, I'll do, I'll do some days for you.

• 12:59Speaker 04

  That's the 15s, the 12 and halves as well.

• 13:01Speaker 03

  Yeah, that would be too much. If you ever use the 32s, I will be outraged. Cause we were doing farmer's lifts, farmer's walks the other day, which is just walking, holding them.

• 13:15Speaker 04

  And what are they with?

• 13:16Speaker 03

  Well, I started with the 32s and then, then dropped down to the 24s and then down to the 18s. Last round.

• 13:26Speaker 03

  Oh, it's embarrassing, isn't it, being awful at things?

• 13:29Speaker 04

  No. Well, yes, but I mean, you're not awful.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  You can pop round to my adjustable dumbbell gym.

• 13:35Speaker 04

  You've got some of your life ahead of you.

• 13:36Speaker 03

  I've got some of my life ahead of me and I went on Countdown last week.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  Did you? Can we talk about this?

• 13:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, we can. Yeah. I don't think it's a secret. It'd be mad if Countdown made you sign an NDA.

• 13:47Speaker 01

  Well, you're still, it's still a popular TV show.

• 13:50Speaker 04

  Did you enjoy it?

• 13:51Speaker 03

  I loved it. Yeah, it was great fun and lovely to spend time with Dame Susie Dent.

• 13:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:58Speaker 03

  I'm going to start referring to Susie because she's so lovely. And Colin Murray, of course, and Rachel Riley.

• 14:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:03Speaker 04

  And the real contestants.

• 14:05Speaker 03

  The real contestants.

• 14:06Speaker 04

  As opposed to comedians larking around?

• 14:08Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:08Speaker 04

  So were they absolutely brilliant?

• 14:10Speaker 03

  One of them was. Yeah, absolutely fantastic. Uh, but it doesn't come out for months.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  Did you get much help?

• 14:17Speaker 03

  Uh, I, they do. You can have help, but I kept refusing the help.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  Good. Were you refusing the help on air?

• 14:25Speaker 03

  Uh, sort of in a, in a way.

• 14:28Speaker 01

  Don't tell me, Susie.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  So did you have to find the words in the little books, dictionary?

• 14:35Speaker 03

  You have to find them in your mind.

• 14:36Speaker 01

  Do you know, you've got your dictionary in front of you, haven't you?

• 14:38Speaker 03

  No.

• 14:40Speaker 01

  Remind me how Countdown works. So you're in a little booth with Susie.

• 14:43Speaker 03

  We're not in a booth.

• 14:44Speaker 01

  No, but on the little table.

• 14:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 14:46Speaker 01

  And you're there to kind of offer the definitions to words and stuff.

• 14:49Speaker 03

  Repartee, I think, Dave.

• 14:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:52Speaker 01

  Badinage.

• 14:53Speaker 03

  Badinage.

• 14:54Speaker 04

  Vis a vis.

• 14:55Speaker 03

  Yeah. Um, but so me and Susie will try and find the words.

• 14:59Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 15:00Speaker 03

  And Susie will find the words because she's a magician.

• 15:02Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 15:02Speaker 03

  Uh, and then I will say, what about this one? And she'll look it up and go, that's not a word. Well done for trying.

• 15:08Speaker 01

  Was it Media City?

• 15:10Speaker 03

  It was a Media City, yeah.

• 15:11Speaker 04

  We could have gone for a coffee afterwards. You should have given me a bell.

• 15:14Speaker 03

  I was eating Pizza Express in my hotel room, feeling depressed.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Okay, cool. I could have been there. I could have joined.

• 15:19Speaker 03

  I had dynamite dough balls. They're too hot.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  Are they?

• 15:21Speaker 03

  Too spicy. And then I wanted something sweet, so I went round to Coop and bought cheesecake and ate it all.

• 15:28Speaker 01

  Was it before or after?

• 15:29Speaker 03

  Felt real bad.

• 15:30Speaker 04

  Did you put, did you like squish your face in it?

• 15:33Speaker 03

  No, I ate it. That would be a waste of cheesecake.

• 15:35Speaker 04

  No, no, but you squish your face in first for a laugh, lighten the mood.

• 15:39Speaker 01

  Doesn't sound like he's up for that sort of laugh.

• 15:40Speaker 04

  And then you eat it and then you wipe it off your face and you eat it off your fingers.

• 15:43Speaker 03

  No, I ate half at night and then half in the morning after the hotel breakfast.

• 15:47Speaker 04

  Breakfast cheesecake.

• 15:51Speaker 04

  That is, isn't a word.

• 15:53Speaker 03

  I crashed just around the second numbers game.

• 15:56Speaker 01

  This was all before the show.

• 15:58Speaker 04

  That's Eddie, Eddie Hall used to eat multiple cheesecakes a day when he was training for World's Strongest Man for the calories.

• 16:03Speaker 03

  Yeah. Imagine that, but without the training.

• 16:08Speaker 03

  Imagine just Eddie Hall eating a cheesecake in his hotel room and someone says, are you in training, Eddie? He goes, no.

• 16:14Speaker 04

  No, no.

• 16:15Speaker 03

  Just back out of the room. Just leave me alone. Put the do not deserve sign on the door.

• 16:20Speaker 04

  Oh, they'd have found it in the little bin, wouldn't they?

• 16:22Speaker 03

  Went in the tram in Manchester, Dave.

• 16:25Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 16:25Speaker 03

  Said dead good, but it was, um, there was a Man United game on and a man did fall asleep and he had to weed himself.

• 16:34Speaker 04

  That's a, that's a shame.

• 16:35Speaker 03

  It is a shame, isn't it?

• 16:37Speaker 01

  The trams are good. It's quite, they, they go at their own pace.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  They do.

• 16:42Speaker 01

  They do. Which, once you're in Manchester for a while, they get used to. But I remember when I first left London.

• 16:48Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 16:48Speaker 01

  And the tubes are quite nipper.

• 16:50Speaker 03

  Quite dead did nipper.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then it does take about 25 minutes to get from central Manchester.

• 16:54Speaker 04

  Isn't it quite sort of, it's like pastoral, pastoral scene.

• 16:57Speaker 01

  Once you factor that time into your day, a tram is an enjoyable experience.

• 17:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:02Speaker 01

  But just do factor in a fair bit of time.

• 17:03Speaker 03

  Unless you're sitting next to the man who's weed himself and falling asleep.

• 17:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:07Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:08Speaker 04

  And obviously you had the moral high ground because you'd just had a breakfast cheesecake.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  He, I'm sure he was just enjoying the Manchester United performance because it was quite a big night for Manchester.

• 17:19Speaker 04

  Well, that was the, that was, they came back from 2-0 down, didn't they? So yeah, I mean, if you can't weed yourself after, after a 3-2 win.

• 17:26Speaker 03

  When can you?

• 17:27Speaker 04

  When can you?

• 17:28Speaker 01

  Was it, was it this week?

• 17:29Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  On Tuesday?

• 17:30Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  I was in Media City.

• 17:32Speaker 03

  What were you doing there?

• 17:32Speaker 01

  I was inspiring minds and feeling old, John, at the Salford University.

• 17:36Speaker 03

  Ah, I was inspiring no one and feeling sad.

• 17:39Speaker 04

  Oh, well, well done. Because that's always been something you wanted to tick off the list.

• 17:43Speaker 03

  Yes, yes.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  That, that appeals directly to one of your great strengths.

• 17:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, the word game.

• 17:49Speaker 04

  The word game.

• 17:50Speaker 03

  Yes, I'm glad of that. And, um, saw the fantastic Henry Packer's show last Friday.

• 17:56Speaker 04

  Unable to go because I was making meringues. So thanks, Dave.

• 18:00Speaker 03

  It was so good. Well done, Henry.

• 18:02Speaker 01

  We're going to have Henry on in the new year.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Are we?

• 18:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 18:05Speaker 03

  Oh, great.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, big time.

• 18:06Speaker 03

  It was so funny.

• 18:07Speaker 04

  His, what did you do yesterday is excellent.

• 18:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, very good.

• 18:10Speaker 04

  Really funny. When he talks about having, no, it's a spoiler, but when he gets his back hair removed, it's very funny.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  And then I went to the Jazz Cafe to see Akonski and I bought this t-shirt.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  It's a good tea.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  It's a good tea, isn't it? It was a superb gig. I love the Jazz Cafe.

• 18:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. Yeah, I've seen, I've seen musicians there. It's good.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  So that's me. Busy, busy week.

• 18:35Speaker 04

  Well, busy, busy be. Well done, John.

• 18:42Speaker 05

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• 19:43Speaker 06

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• 20:25Speaker 06

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• 20:44Speaker 03

  Shall we try and connect with the Welsh diaspora?

• 20:47Speaker 01

  Well, we've got a map as big as the studio next to Ellis from his birthday last week.

• 20:51Speaker 03

  Birthday present map.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  So hopefully this will give him a little bit of extra help along the way.

• 20:55Speaker 04

  I love how big it is.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  It's too big. I didn't, yeah, I didn't really quite understand the dimensions.

• 21:00Speaker 04

  It's like, it's like, it's like the kind of map of Wales U2 would have.

• 21:04Speaker 03

  Why would, why would U2 have a big map of Wales?

• 21:07Speaker 04

  What is that? When they do gigs in Cardiff.

• 21:10Speaker 03

  Why U2? That doesn't answer the question.

• 21:12Speaker 04

  No, no, because, because they, because everything is such a, they do such, they do things on such a massive scale.

• 21:18Speaker 03

  Do you think everything they own is big?

• 21:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, like, you know.

• 21:22Speaker 06

  Like a massive toothbrush.

• 21:23Speaker 04

  Coming out of a, like, of a big lemon. What he did, didn't he?

• 21:27Speaker 01

  Very did do that, to be fair.

• 21:28Speaker 04

  He did come out of a massive lemon.

• 21:30Speaker 03

  Right.

• 21:30Speaker 04

  So everything they do is big.

• 21:32Speaker 03

  His personal lemons aren't bigger than normal, are they? He doesn't have enormous shoes that he lives in.

• 21:38Speaker 04

  Big clown shoes and a massive car.

• 21:41Speaker 01

  Well, he might have a massive car.

• 21:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 21:43Speaker 03

  Have you seen those pictures of the seats in the sphere?

• 21:48Speaker 04

  No.

• 21:48Speaker 03

  So they've, they've recently changed what they, what they class as restricted view.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 21:55Speaker 03

  Because obviously, most of the seats, you can't see most of the sphere.

• 21:59Speaker 04

  What are you talking about?

• 21:59Speaker 01

  Can you not?

• 22:00Speaker 03

  That thing in Las Vegas where it's like being in the future in a bad dream.

• 22:04Speaker 01

  Backstreet Boys are doing a lot of gigs there at the minute.

• 22:07Speaker 04

  Are they?

• 22:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, I keep getting such.

• 22:08Speaker 03

  But they, so they've now declassified some of the seats as being restricted view, whereas before they were restricted view.

• 22:14Speaker 01

  Right.

• 22:14Speaker 03

  It's mad how little you can see of it from these seats. And they're probably like 100 billion grand to get.

• 22:19Speaker 04

  But there are some old football grounds like that.

• 22:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, but they don't play football in the sky.

• 22:23Speaker 04

  No, but.

• 22:23Speaker 03

  As someone famously said.

• 22:24Speaker 04

  Yeah. But when I, I was in a restricted view seat at Anfield when I went to watch the Swansea Liverpool. And it was, it was hilarious slash immensely demoralising how little of the pitch I could see.

• 22:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  So how can you restrict the view of a pitch when it's below you and you're above it?

• 22:41Speaker 04

  Because you're at the very back of the stand.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  Oh, Chelsea.

• 22:44Speaker 04

  The top, yeah, Chelsea's the same. And Loftus Road has got restrictive views. So the top tier comes sort of above you. And it ends up, it means there's like a sort of tiny, maybe third of the pitch that you can see in the middle. So you can't, couldn't see either goal.

• 23:00Speaker 01

  Because if you sat down, you'd be fine.

• 23:02Speaker 03

  You couldn't see either goal.

• 23:05Speaker 04

  And, but the, the ticket is cheaper, but I just ended up squeezing up next to someone who wasn't in restricted view because it was, it was absurd. And I thought, this is mad.

• 23:14Speaker 01

  But I thought the sphere, everyone could just see everything. That was the point of it. Because it's, you're on, you're circling, looking down on the stage.

• 23:19Speaker 03

  Right, Dave. Google the sphere restricted view.

• 23:22Speaker 04

  Ah, QPR.

• 23:23Speaker 03

  Live on air.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  At Loftus Road, I was in a restricted view seat one year. I couldn't see how, the goal we were defending. So I didn't know if could be had scored or not.

• 23:31Speaker 03

  I get so antsy about sightlines at gigs when I'm performing.

• 23:36Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 23:37Speaker 03

  I feel so bad.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, I know, we've done three tours together.

• 23:41Speaker 03

  Bossing around hardworking venue stuff.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  Oh, I don't know, John. They'll look, they'll look okay.

• 23:47Speaker 03

  No, find the meme, Dave.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  I believe you. I'm sure it is pretty problematic.

• 23:54Speaker 04

  God, that sounded so modern when John told you to find the meme. The only, the only thing that's spoiled was that you couldn't find it.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  Alan.

• 24:04Speaker 04

  You just couldn't use the internet.

• 24:05Speaker 03

  I'll forward you the meme later.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  I can imagine the meme.

• 24:09Speaker 04

  And I'll get a, and I'll get a grandson to open it for me because I'm 46.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  You could have a grandson theoretically.

• 24:16Speaker 04

  Fingers crossed I haven't got one.

• 24:17Speaker 03

  Yeah, God, God, no. But I mean, you could, if you'd had a kid when you were 20, they'd be 26.

• 24:22Speaker 04

  That would be my son or daughter, yes. And then they, obviously, they could have children.

• 24:27Speaker 03

  And if they'd had kids at 20, so you've basically got a six-year-old grandchild.

• 24:32Speaker 04

  Yes, who doesn't exist, but I.

• 24:34Speaker 03

  No, but could exist statistically.

• 24:36Speaker 04

  Could exist, and I will honour him.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  And the stats don't lie.

• 24:41Speaker 04

  If he's alive, or she, I will welcome them into my new blended family. And I will have a big conversation with this and say, I've got no, I don't know how this happened, but, but John's insistence, a lot of people who I have got in touch with the show and we've done paternity tests and yeah, wallop, Bob's your uncle.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  And Ellis is your grandad.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Oh, congrats, man.

• 25:08Speaker 03

  Well done, Ellis. What's it like being a grandad at 46?

• 25:12Speaker 04

  Well, I'm an active grandad.

• 25:13Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 25:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:14Speaker 04

  I'm 46.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  You were in a Swansea City tracksuit top.

• 25:17Speaker 04

  Swansea City tracksuit, I can borrow your adjustable dumbbells.

• 25:19Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 25:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, it would be, it'd be quite nice being a grandad at 46.

• 25:23Speaker 03

  And if, and if that six-year-old has a kid when he's 16, which is legally not obliged to, legally entitled to, you'll be a great grandad.

• 25:32Speaker 04

  In 10 years' time.

• 25:33Speaker 03

  In 10 years' time.

• 25:33Speaker 04

  And my mother would be a great, great grandmother.

• 25:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, what's that feel like?

• 25:39Speaker 01

  Congrats again.

• 25:40Speaker 04

  I would say that makes me feel confused. And I wouldn't say uneasy.

• 25:47Speaker 03

  You're going to be on the telly and not because of your career. You'll be on like Deser Connor or whatever it was, the Right Stuff.

• 25:54Speaker 04

  I will be, yeah.

• 25:55Speaker 03

  You'll be on Kilroy.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  Yeah, Jeremy Vine does the sort of Right Stuff slot now on Channel 5. So Ellis, you're a great, great, great, great, great grandfather, yes.

• 26:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, which you could statistically be by 76.

• 26:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  How's that feel?

• 26:10Speaker 04

  Well, anyway. I, do you know what? I've, I've just, I'm very accepting of it all, really.

• 26:16Speaker 03

  There's not going to be much money left when you die, is there? Because it's going to be split so many ways.

• 26:20Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  How does that work?

• 26:22Speaker 04

  Um, I think my two main children will learn to resent me.

• 26:26Speaker 03

  But what about all of their 15 children?

• 26:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, I could, yeah, it's fine. And it would be fine. And I would, I will make it work because love finds a way.

• 26:38Speaker 01

  If there was one person that suddenly discovered he had 17 grandkids and great-grandkids, it is Ellis who would roll the punches fairly well, I think.

• 26:45Speaker 03

  Yeah, he would be fine with it.

• 26:46Speaker 01

  He'd suddenly be fine, like five minutes later.

• 26:48Speaker 04

  I'd go quiet for an hour.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, there'd be a quiet hour. I mean, I had a quiet hour when I found out we're having twins.

• 26:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, do you know what? I'd have a quiet hour and then a Panini and I'd be great.

• 26:59Speaker 03

  This week's Cymru Connection is brought to you by Transport for Wales. Ellis, what encapsulates the spirit of Wales for you?

• 27:06Speaker 04

  Well, I suppose it's a bond we all share, John. It's that unmistakable kinship between a very special group of proud individuals. A group of individuals who, no matter where they find themselves in life, John, and no matter what path they find themselves on, will always find themselves woven into that strongest of fabric within everyday Welsh existence.

• 27:28Speaker 03

  Hmm, okay. I thought you might just say Rob Bernshaw.

• 27:32Speaker 04

  I thought it was Rob Bernshaw. I back Wales, though, and make no mistake about it. And luckily, Transport for Wales shares the same beliefs. For them, travelling across Wales is more than a way of getting from A to B. It's about connecting people, places and moments across that fair nation of mine. A crucial part of everyday life.

• 27:49Speaker 03

  And I'm almost certain their connection rate is far higher than yours.

• 27:52Speaker 04

  Yes, I'd imagine so, yes. But another shared goal we have with Transport for Wales is getting my win percentage up in the Cymru Connection.

• 28:00Speaker 03

  Thanks to Transport for Wales, we've got another listener lined up at another train station. And this week, it's Ellis's hometown of Carmarthen. It's time for the Cymru Connection.

• 28:10Speaker 06

  It's another Cymru Connection. Ellis thinks his tactics are sheer perfection. But his questions have one direction. Where did you go to school? Do you know David Evans? No. Come on, mate, you must do. No, we've never met at all.

• 28:39Speaker 03

  So last week, we compared Ellis's exasperated Cymru Connection failure scream to another famous scream. And Rob has emailed in with a new comparison for us to mull over. Rob says, dearest digital DJs, following the discussion on the latest episode of the James versus Wilhelm scream, you briefly touched on Gary Neville's infamous Golgasm when Fernando Torres broke away to send Chelsea to the Champions League final in Munich. I've been sitting on this comparison for some time, but if you wind back to episode 539, the audio of a certain Mr. Masterman celebrating a last-second Cymru connection is a dead ringer for Neville's unbridled vocal release. Let's hear the clip. This is Neville. It's Torres to give Chelsea a place in the Champions League final.

• 29:25Speaker 03

  The headline has been written.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  You forget how long it is.

• 29:30Speaker 03

  That's too long a noise.

• 29:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, there's a Martin Tyler, there's a similar Martin Tyler one that's great. It's really funny.

• 29:37Speaker 03

  So that's Gary Neville's scream. Now let's hear Dave's.

• 29:40Speaker 04

  Do you know Yvonne Pritchard, Gary's son? I do.

• 29:46Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:47Speaker 03

  It's not bad.

• 29:49Speaker 01

  It's got the same drop in tone.

• 29:51Speaker 04

  But it's about a third of the length.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, right. Yeah, I cut it off probably just at the right point. Neville just kept on going. That is mad.

• 29:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 29:58Speaker 01

  It's not far off.

• 29:59Speaker 03

  Thank you for that, Rob, for sending that in. So I just, we just need a scream for me.

• 30:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, what was up to you?

• 30:06Speaker 03

  I'll scream one day.

• 30:06Speaker 01

  Take your time.

• 30:07Speaker 03

  I'll scream one day and I'll never stop. Last week, Ellis managed to stop the rot. Things were looking hairy. He was on a run of four failures in a row and confidence was low. Thankfully, he managed to dig deep and pull something out of the bag, finding a connection with caller Steve via Cymru Connection stalwart, HDT, Handsome Dan Tight. That win took his connection rate to 47.22%. He's connected with 51 callers out of a total of 108.

• 30:35Speaker 04

  Handsome Dan Tight is mentioned in the New York Times record, a New York Times article.

• 30:41Speaker 03

  And in the Dead Sea Scrolls.

• 30:42Speaker 04

  Which is, which obviously is the American paper of record. And he is in the article as Handsome Dan Tight. And he was thrilled.

• 30:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 30:51Speaker 04

  Imagine if the New York Times referred to him as Handsome John.

• 30:56Speaker 03

  So was last week's victory just a flash in the pan or was it the start of something much more special? Let's find out. We have a caller on the line. Caller, what's your name?

• 31:05Speaker 04

  It's Catherine.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  Hi Catherine, and you're calling from, I believe, Carmarthen Train Station.

• 31:11Speaker 04

  I am indeed.

• 31:13Speaker 03

  What does it look like? What can you see?

• 31:15Speaker 04

  Trains, a few trains. Have you had to literally walk across the track to get to Platform Two? No, I'm looking over at Platform Two and it's actually, it's full, full of trains, more trains than you would imagine.

• 31:29Speaker 03

  More trains than you would imagine. So I would imagine probably four to six trains. I'm now imagining 50 trains.

• 31:35Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh, yeah. 51 at least.

• 31:38Speaker 03

  So Catherine, you have 60 seconds to find a mutual connection with Ellis. His time starts now.

• 31:43Speaker 04

  Age at school? 37, Ascot of Prisely. Ascot of Prisely. Do you know my friend Andrew Richards, who works for the BBC, the sports department? Do you know my friend Stephen Evans? No. Okay, where did you grow up? What's the village or town? Kilgeiran.

• 32:02Speaker 04

  Okay. What did you do for life? I am a flower farmer now. Okay, do you know, right. Do you know my friend Griffith Ivan? No, I don't. Oh, yeah. Okay, Texas son. Never mind. That's fine. No. Um, where do you live? I live just outside Kilgeiran. Just outside Kilgeiran. Yes, but I went to Ascot of Prisely and I'm 37. I know. Yes. Do you? Kilgeiran. Do you know my friend Essel Cias? No. Okay, that's fine. Kilgeiran. Do you know my friend Sean Harris? No. Lives in Nagrasurro. That's fine. Kilgeiran.

• 32:43Speaker 04

  I mean, do you know Joe Allen? Yes, I do.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  Oh, that's out of the time, isn't it?

• 32:50Speaker 03

  Good grief.

• 32:52Speaker 04

  That's out of the time and I'm aware of it.

• 32:57Speaker 03

  He was about four seconds over there, I'm afraid.

• 33:00Speaker 04

  I can't believe I thought it would be done in like three seconds. I did.

• 33:03Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 33:04Speaker 04

  I momentarily forgot that Joe Allen went to Prisely because I so heavily associate him with Narbeth. And the fact that his dad's a dentist.

• 33:14Speaker 03

  But where, where footballers go to school is like your specialist topic.

• 33:22Speaker 04

  We've got a few connections though. He is from South Pembrokeshire and Ascot of Prisely is in North Pembrokeshire and culturally it's quite different. I momentarily forgot that he got the big bus to Ascot, Governor Prisely, because years ago he would have got the big bus to Ascot, Governor Brumervin.

• 33:42Speaker 03

  It's just not good enough at this level.

• 33:44Speaker 01

  And you're a massive map, just here folded up that you could have opened up.

• 33:48Speaker 04

  Folded up, Dave.

• 33:48Speaker 01

  Why didn't you open it? Look how big it is.

• 33:50Speaker 04

  Because it's too big.

• 33:51Speaker 03

  Point the two places on the map where he was born and where he went to school.

• 34:03Speaker 03

  He went all that way on a bus?

• 34:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, he did because there was no Welsh medium school in South Pembrokeshire when he was, but there is now. So now he would be going to school in Hertford West. And I will talk about this forever because I find it genuinely very interesting. But I momentarily forgot that Joe Allen went to Ascot, Governor Prisely. Can't believe it. And that's going to haunt me. What are the other connections, Catherine? So you actually know my beau of one year today, anniversary, but you went to school with him and he is 46. And he lives in Kilgeiran. If that gives you any clues. Oh no, who's that? I can't think. Gwion's? Who's in Kilgeiran?

• 34:46Speaker 04

  Clicking his fingers in sugar, my puddings. I've been.

• 34:53Speaker 01

  Who was the name? Sorry.

• 34:54Speaker 04

  He was a year above me at school, Gwion.

• 34:56Speaker 01

  Right.

• 34:57Speaker 04

  And I've been to Belgium with him.

• 34:58Speaker 03

  Not Gwion Logistics?

• 35:00Speaker 04

  Different Gwyons, but they are the other Gwion, but they are, Gwion Aral, but they are part of the same sort of wider Gwion universe.

• 35:09Speaker 01

  Been to Belgium with him. So a good mate.

• 35:12Speaker 04

  I went to Washwell's play Belgium. He went, he used to go at my sister many years ago. Yeah, he's actually here now. Oh, so my Gwion. I don't know. My mother absolutely loves Gwion. Surely, yeah. My mother absolutely loves Gwion.

• 35:29Speaker 01

  Really?

• 35:30Speaker 04

  Yeah, such a nice man. And she's always saying it. She probably says it three times a year.

• 35:36Speaker 03

  Any more, any more connections, Catherine?

• 35:39Speaker 04

  Yes, actually. So I think my uncle probably taught you in Brumervin as well, Chris James. Oh, yes, he taught me physics. Yeah. My mother, my mother says he's nice three times a year as well. He took me to France. And I think I could say this because it's been 30 years, he forgot his case and he had to go back again.

• 35:59Speaker 04

  And I don't know if you know any of Dick Jones or Bob, any of his kids? No, I don't. I mean, I stood, oh no, I studied his poetry at school, but I don't know his, I don't know his children. No, I don't unfortunately. Oh, well, this was within touching distance. Oh, so close. Really, really annoyed at myself.

• 36:23Speaker 03

  Catherine, thank you so much for joining us on the Cymru Connection. Bye bye.

• 36:27Speaker 04

  Thank you for having me. Deal, Catherine.

• 36:30Speaker 03

  It's weird because it feels like the sort of performance from someone who's been doing so well, they take their foot off the gas, they stop training.

• 36:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 36:38Speaker 03

  They get, they get sort of benched by the manager.

• 36:41Speaker 04

  I thought Gwion lived in Aberteevie, which is, can I show you on the map? It's very close to Kilgeiran.

• 36:47Speaker 01

  Get the big map out. It's massive. Oh, sorry, John.

• 36:52Speaker 04

  That was close.

• 36:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:56Speaker 01

  Okay, so Ellis is pointing at two points on a big map.

• 36:58Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is big.

• 37:01Speaker 01

  Do you know what's, what's funny is?

• 37:02Speaker 04

  I'm absolutely destroyed by that.

• 37:04Speaker 01

  And I don't want to rub it in, Ellis. I'm not wanting to kick a man while he's down at all. That's the last thing I want.

• 37:10Speaker 04

  Feel free not to.

• 37:11Speaker 01

  No, but it's something I've thought, so I need to say out loud. So often you kind of go for a celebrity link and I go, what are you doing? And it never, it never really comes off. It's like, it's kind of quite a shot in the dark. This is the one time you should have just gone in with the big celeb towards the top.

• 37:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, you know, you said you shouldn't be kicking me when I'm down. Well, well, what happened there, Dave?

• 37:28Speaker 01

  You've got to get, get in the circle.

• 37:30Speaker 04

  Dave, you're poison.

• 37:30Speaker 01

  No, I'm not poison. No, I am, I am the firm manager that you need. I am Mourinho. I am telling you like you need to hear it.

• 37:38Speaker 04

  Play through pain.

• 37:39Speaker 01

  No, I'm Mourinho, opposite the table to Dele Alli, telling you, this is your chance to show how good you are.

• 37:45Speaker 04

  Oh my God, am I the Dele Alli of Cymru connecting?

• 37:49Speaker 01

  The skill's there.

• 37:50Speaker 04

  Yeah. Oh my God, such a natural talent.

• 37:53Speaker 01

  Is the dedication there, we're just not sure at this stage.

• 37:55Speaker 04

  I thought Gwion thought lived in Aberteevie. I didn't realise he lived in Kilgeiran.

• 38:00Speaker 03

  You forgot where Joe Allen went to school.

• 38:02Speaker 04

  No.

• 38:03Speaker 03

  That's what they're going to be chanting at you in the, of the next game.

• 38:07Speaker 04

  I'm just staggered she doesn't know Andrew Richards, but that's fine. That's absolutely fine.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  You, no.

• 38:14Speaker 01

  It's quite wordy, isn't it?

• 38:15Speaker 03

  You forgot where Joe Allen went to school. You can turn that into a chant.

• 38:20Speaker 01

  You forgot, you forgot, you forgot where Joe went to school. You forgot where Joe went to school.

• 38:29Speaker 04

  Horrible. Oh, now I know what I'd be like if I was playing Old Trafford. Absolutely crumbling. There's 76,000 people bar at me. Oh my God, that has, that's changed. That's changed me, that one. And I had my big map as well.

• 38:54Speaker 01

  No, you didn't. Your big map was, you didn't even open it.

• 38:57Speaker 04

  I saw, I'm, I'm, I'm near a big map.

• 39:01Speaker 01

  We opened the map after the game had finished.

• 39:04Speaker 03

  Right, we'll have another Cymru Connection next week, but it's time for us to reset, recalibrate and refresh before a made up game. Thanks again to Transport for Wales for bringing this week's Cymru Connection to life.

• 39:27Speaker 00

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• 40:30Speaker 03

  Hi folks, this is Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman, and I'm here to suggest that you host Thanksgiving with industry-leading quality standards from Whole Foods Market. There are, as usual, no antibiotics ever in their meat department, so carve up turkey and spiral-cut ham with peace of mind. Shop organic sides like stuffing mix and cranberry sauce from 365 Brand. And guess what? All of their fabulous, delectable pies are made with no high-fructose corn syrup. Where else are you going to find that? Gourmet Thanksgiving flavors with the quality you want, only at Whole Foods Market.

• 41:16Speaker 01

  Right, everyone, it's our first made-up, is it our first made-up game back since the fuss?

• 41:21Speaker 03

  You two little handkerchief holders.

• 41:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 41:25Speaker 03

  Raise.

• 41:26Speaker 01

  This is Liverpool City.

• 41:27Speaker 03

  You little ninnahammers.

• 41:30Speaker 01

  We've all turned up with big inflatable bananas, haven't we?

• 41:32Speaker 03

  What is the banana a reference to?

• 41:34Speaker 01

  We had it in the late 80s, someone bought one down. It was to do with one of our overseas players that then got the nickname to do with the bananas. But it was basically, we weren't very good, we were terrible when they got bought in. And one fan bought one down, and then everyone started to bring it to basically say, we're here to have fun, we don't really care how bad we are. So I think it's a bit of an ironic glance back to that.

• 41:53Speaker 03

  It's a nod to the fact that they're going back to the late 80s where they were rubbish.

• 41:57Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 41:58Speaker 03

  So, yeah, there was a weird period in the late 80s where all Man City fans used to carry inflatable bananas. And it really dates the footage.

• 42:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:06Speaker 03

  So like 1988, there's inflatable bananas everywhere, then it sort of stopped.

• 42:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, they knocked about a little bit in the 90s, because I remember seeing them when I started supporting City, but it was the late 80s when it was big, but now everyone has them.

• 42:18Speaker 03

  Fives. Big inflatable fives.

• 42:21Speaker 01

  Right.

• 42:22Speaker 03

  Do they call it fifa side? No, they should, but that's good.

• 42:26Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 42:27Speaker 03

  You can use that for one of your football ones.

• 42:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:31Speaker 01

  Shall we play a made-up game? And shall we have a new jingle?

• 42:34Speaker 03

  Yes, please.

• 42:35Speaker 01

  It's from listener Josh. I'm going to ask you guys to have a guess as to which, where the inspiration comes from as well.

• 42:41Speaker 03

  Cool.

• 42:42Speaker 01

  Hello, lads, it's Josh here. I made the Cameron Winter, Van Morrison and Go Team jingles.

• 42:48Speaker 03

  Oh, three of my all-time faves.

• 42:49Speaker 01

  They're big hitters.

• 42:50Speaker 03

  And I still haven't heard the Go Team one.

• 42:51Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, because was it Ivo?

• 42:52Speaker 03

  Yeah, Ivo was on.

• 42:53Speaker 01

  Yeah, the Go Team one was good. And I'm back again with another jingle. I was messing around in my little studio recently and having done some fun, insert name here, impressions and thought that it might amuse you guys, so I recorded some made-up game-themed lyrics, and here it is. Thanks for all the content and thanks, as always, for playing my jingles. All the best, Josh. Okay, so here's the music. Have a little think about who you think this is inspired by.

• 43:21Speaker 06

  John and Ellis.

• 43:22Speaker 03

  Fair football, they read.

• 43:23Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 43:26Speaker 06

  Wait for Dave to explain the rules.

• 43:30Speaker 06

  Got a look on his face that says, I know it's gonna be one of those days.

• 43:36Speaker 06

  John's gonna disagree with all my rules.

• 43:41Speaker 06

  But that's okay.

• 43:44Speaker 03

  It's very New York.

• 43:45Speaker 04

  It sounds like it's how we play. The Velvet's off the John Kay left.

• 43:50Speaker 06

  Get into the games. Things are going well. Things get confusing if Ellis has to do anything that requires him to spell.

• 44:02Speaker 06

  Think quickly. I hear about concept of cognitive decline. But you know, that's made up games.

• 44:13Speaker 06

  Yeah, well, it's made up games.

• 44:18Speaker 06

  Gotta learn how to play. But you know, it's always gonna be a made up game.

• 44:30Speaker 01

  There we go.

• 44:31Speaker 03

  There's a lot in there for the Lou Reed deep cut fan, because obviously the bassline is a little bit Walk on the Wild Side.

• 44:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:37Speaker 03

  The guitar tone is a little bit like the spoken word stuff of New York.

• 44:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:42Speaker 03

  But there's also, if you listen to the live version of Coney Island Baby from an album called Animal Serenade, which is one of the best, no, from Perfect Night Live, which is one of the best recordings of Lou Reed, that's very good, very good.

• 44:58Speaker 04

  That was great, I loved that. I've got my earphones with me, so I'm gonna listen to The Velvet's on the train on the way home.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  Yeah, nice.

• 45:06Speaker 04

  That's put me in a very good mood, that.

• 45:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. It's good stuff. Scores on the doors. John's controversial win in poor judgment took the scores to 15, love to John. Two games each in the third set, John leading two sets to love, but with the ongoing inquiry into the final round still taking place, who knows if that score will be accurate in a few weeks' time.

• 45:26Speaker 03

  Find me two sets and I'll still win.

• 45:29Speaker 01

  What?

• 45:29Speaker 03

  Find me two sets, if you like.

• 45:32Speaker 01

  Ooh, big talk.

• 45:33Speaker 03

  And you lose a year and a half of scores.

• 45:37Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no. Just let's just give him a big financial penalty.

• 45:42Speaker 01

  Yeah, you keep saying this.

• 45:43Speaker 04

  Fine him a hundred grand.

• 45:45Speaker 01

  Okay, you've gone down from 200, so will you take 100 grand as a penalty, John?

• 45:51Speaker 01

  We've had another scoring suggestion.

• 45:54Speaker 03

  The many beat the money.

• 45:56Speaker 01

  Oh, good, good stuff. We've all been listening to the rest is politics recently, haven't we, John?

• 46:01Speaker 03

  You certainly have. I wish Anthony Scarucci would stop clicking his pen.

• 46:08Speaker 01

  Does he do that?

• 46:09Speaker 03

  All through the whole four hours, just here next to a microphone.

• 46:15Speaker 03

  Go like that because he's nervous.

• 46:16Speaker 04

  That's so funny.

• 46:19Speaker 03

  You'd think someone from Goalhanger would be in his ear going, Anthony, I love your input, but just put the pen down.

• 46:25Speaker 01

  Big fan of your work.

• 46:27Speaker 04

  Can he buy a silent pen?

• 46:30Speaker 04

  That's so funny.

• 46:33Speaker 01

  Because it cuts through most things, that sound as well.

• 46:36Speaker 04

  You need a stress ball.

• 46:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, or a pencil.

• 46:39Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  Yeah. We've had another scoring suggestion for the post-tennis scoring era.

• 46:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 46:46Speaker 01

  This time, listener Granya is suggesting hurling. Hello, my three delicious gaiuses. Gaiuses? Gaiuses. I would like to put forward for consideration the Irish sport of hurling and its scoring system for when the tennis made-up game scoring comes to an end. Who knows when that will be?

• 47:01Speaker 03

  So where we all lose all of our teeth and fracture our cheeks and break our ankles.

• 47:06Speaker 04

  They're big brave boys.

• 47:07Speaker 03

  They are big brave boys. Irish sport is brave.

• 47:11Speaker 01

  It's brutal and brave.

• 47:13Speaker 04

  Absolutely.

• 47:14Speaker 01

  In hurling, when a ball is pucked over the bar by a player, that is one point. However, when a player scores a goal, that's three points. The final score of a hurling match is the combined number of points when all are added up, so a team can score no goals, only points over the bar and still win. To apply this to our made-up games, Ellis and John will score one point each time one of them wins a made-up game. However, if after hearing the rules of the game, either of them are confident they can win, they can choose to try to score a goal. If they win that game, they get three points, but if they lose, the other gets three points. So the other gets three points. There's the, that's what I was wondering because...

• 47:49Speaker 03

  So you get three points for losing?

• 47:52Speaker 01

  Well, you have to have that, otherwise you're, every time you'll just say, yeah, I'm gonna go for three.

• 47:55Speaker 04

  I think I'd rather box than do hurling or Gaelic football. Because they are big brave boys.

• 48:02Speaker 01

  First 200 points wins. It's another, it's another interesting scoring system.

• 48:06Speaker 03

  It is.

• 48:07Speaker 01

  Granya, thank you very much. P.S. I flew from Ireland with a friend of mine to Brighton dancing with Dave. It was a balm for the soul.

• 48:15Speaker 01

  And we also look forward to flying over to see Pressure is a Privilege for Ellis in March. Good stuff.

• 48:20Speaker 04

  Noel Gallagher played Gaelic football at Croke Park when he was about 16.

• 48:23Speaker 01

  Did he?

• 48:24Speaker 04

  For a Manchester Irish team. Yeah, there's a picture of him, it's amazing.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  The game. This week's game comes from Will in Leeds. Greetings, my favorite box of assorted chocks. After a lovely dinner party one evening, my friends and I tried to guess our spouse's favorite chocolates from the obligatory box of after-dinner chocks before us, and so a made-up game was invented. The game is called Rank My Bits Up.

• 48:56Speaker 01

  In each round, Dave will give you a category and name four things from said category. Your first step is to rank those four items in order of your own preference. Four being the lowest, one being the highest. The made up games gods will trust that you do this honestly.

• 49:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:13Speaker 04

  It's just like a Mr. And Mrs. Then.

• 49:15Speaker 01

  Kind of, yeah.

• 49:17Speaker 04

  Mr. And Mr.

• 49:18Speaker 01

  Each team, each player will then guess how their opponent has ranked the four items from lowest to highest.

• 49:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 49:24Speaker 01

  For each item you rank correctly, you get one point.

• 49:27Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 49:27Speaker 01

  However, as a bit of a bonus, because it is very impressive if you can get all four, if you manage to get them completely right, you get five points.

• 49:33Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 49:34Speaker 01

  So you get an extra bonus point if you get all four in the right order.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  How many rounds?

• 49:38Speaker 01

  Three rounds.

• 49:39Speaker 04

  Twenty-five rounds.

• 49:41Speaker 01

  Some rules here, just to make sure it's fair and decent. Players cannot.

• 49:46Speaker 04

  No mind reading.

• 49:47Speaker 01

  Players cannot look at their opponent's sheet as they rank the objects. Players cannot check any previous correspondence with their opponents to gain any advantage. Players cannot text, email, call or DM their opponents, spouses, friends, family, lawyers or anyone known to the opponent to ask about their preferences at any point in the game. Neither can they pay or coerce any outside party to help them.

• 50:06Speaker 03

  That's a good, I like that, it's clear.

• 50:08Speaker 01

  Don't. We have loads more of them, but we thought.

• 50:13Speaker 04

  Also, my tastes, it's interesting this because my tastes have changed.

• 50:16Speaker 01

  Yeah. Interesting, well, yeah, taste as of today, I think is the.

• 50:20Speaker 03

  He'd have voted leave if they held the referendum today.

• 50:25Speaker 01

  And there goes round one. Don't fudge the rankings and may the best player win. Will from Leeds. Fun game.

• 50:31Speaker 03

  Fun game.

• 50:32Speaker 01

  And fun set of categories as well. We start.

• 50:34Speaker 04

  A pen.

• 50:35Speaker 01

  Oh, sorry, I nicked it. It's a fiddle. I'm scarry moose.

• 50:37Speaker 04

  You're scarry moose.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  Round one is chocolate bars.

• 50:42Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 50:43Speaker 01

  Starting, you know, terra firma of the rounds, I'd say.

• 50:46Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:47Speaker 01

  The items are Terry's Chocolate Orange. So scribble these down.

• 50:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:52Speaker 01

  Just write them as I repeat and then you can mark them after. Terry's Chocolate Orange, Snickers.

• 50:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 50:57Speaker 01

  Dairy Milk Fruit and Nut. Kinder Bueno. So now, I'd cover your, cover your, your markings now. Just put a one to four next to each one so you know what your order is.

• 51:10Speaker 03

  But I also need to know what Ellis's order is. So I need to write down Ellis's.

• 51:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 51:15Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 51:16Speaker 01

  Cool.

• 51:17Speaker 03

  Okay. Okay.

• 51:28Speaker 01

  Okay. Okay, there it is. Right. John's guess of Ellis's order first, please. So don't, don't reveal your order.

• 51:36Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 51:37Speaker 01

  Go straight to the one that you guessed for Ellis's. So go through from fourth to first, please.

• 51:41Speaker 03

  Okay, so fourth, I think it's Bueno.

• 51:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're right.

• 51:44Speaker 01

  Well, let's go through all four and then we can reveal.

• 51:47Speaker 03

  Third, I think it's Fruit and Nut.

• 51:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:48Speaker 04

  You're right.

• 51:49Speaker 03

  Second, Snickers.

• 51:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, he's absolutely.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  And first is Terry's.

• 51:55Speaker 04

  He's five'd it.

• 51:56Speaker 01

  He's five'd it.

• 51:57Speaker 03

  I can give you the reasoning as well if you want.

• 51:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, go for it.

• 52:00Speaker 03

  Well, he's, he loves Terry's Chocolate Orange.

• 52:02Speaker 01

  Did you know that?

• 52:03Speaker 03

  A number of occasions.

• 52:04Speaker 01

  That is so sweet that you know that, John. I love it.

• 52:06Speaker 03

  Bueno, it was a toss-up between the Bueno and Fruit and Nut three and four. I think he thinks Kinder Bueno is too sweet.

• 52:11Speaker 04

  And childish.

• 52:12Speaker 01

  And childish. Yeah, it's true.

• 52:14Speaker 03

  And Snickers he would like because it's sort of his go-to reference for a chocolate bar. So it's obviously in his mind.

• 52:22Speaker 04

  It is absolutely. He can read me like a book and sadly it's not a very good book. It's not Bravo 2-0 by Andy McNabb, which actually proves that he read.

• 52:32Speaker 01

  Good, good game this.

• 52:34Speaker 04

  For John, I think, I shot for the moon because he either doesn't like mint chocolate or orange chocolate, but I couldn't remember which one. So I've shot for the moon. Fruit and Nut in at number one.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  Correct. Are you going one to four?

• 52:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:46Speaker 01

  Okay, that's, okay.

• 52:47Speaker 04

  Snickers in at number two.

• 52:49Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  Bueno in at number three.

• 52:52Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 52:53Speaker 04

  And Chocolate Orange in number four.

• 52:55Speaker 01

  Correct.

• 52:56Speaker 04

  So Fruit and Nut because it's milk chocolate.

• 52:58Speaker 01

  I love Fruit and Nut so much.

• 52:59Speaker 04

  He does love it and it's just, it is, it's the chocolate-iest. It's the most, it's the one that's most like a treat, I think.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, but, but there's something a bit healthy about Fruit and Nut.

• 53:08Speaker 03

  Nope. Not if you read the packet and I keep reading it because I think some of this is fruit and some of this is nut.

• 53:17Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 53:18Speaker 04

  Snickers because of the caramel. I think it's just Snickers is just nice. Bueno, I think is a post quitting booze chocolate.

• 53:26Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I wouldn't, but I just detest fruit, fruit flavours in chocolate as opposed to fruit in chocolate.

• 53:33Speaker 04

  Alcoholic John wouldn't have eaten a Bueno.

• 53:35Speaker 03

  God, no.

• 53:36Speaker 04

  And Chocolate Orange, I know that he doesn't like.

• 53:38Speaker 03

  Orange chocolate.

• 53:39Speaker 01

  Well done, lads. Strong start. Five each as we go into round two. Might start to get a bit trickier now.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 53:46Speaker 01

  James Bonds. The four Bonds in play are.

• 53:50Speaker 04

  Terms of actors?

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. Sean Connery.

• 53:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 53:55Speaker 01

  Pierce Brosnan. Daniel Craig. Fourth and final, Roger Moore's either of them breathe. So it's four Bonds. Put them in order of your favourite Bonds. Now, I mean, whatever you would class as the reasoning to have them as your favourite to least favourite Bonds is entirely up to you. I'd be amazed if we get two fivers here, but let's see. Ellis, we'll come to you first. Ellis's guess of John's order, please.

• 54:30Speaker 04

  It's my top two are interchangeable.

• 54:32Speaker 01

  You're going to go from one to four?

• 54:33Speaker 04

  One to four.

• 54:34Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 54:35Speaker 04

  I think it will either be number one or number two for his number one, if you know what I mean. Sean Connery in at number one.

• 54:41Speaker 03

  Correct.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  Followed by Roger Moore.

• 54:43Speaker 03

  Correct.

• 54:45Speaker 04

  Followed by Pierce Brosnan.

• 54:46Speaker 03

  Incorrect.

• 54:47Speaker 04

  Okay, followed by Daniel Craig. All right then. So what have I got? Two there?

• 54:50Speaker 03

  Two.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  Wow. Not, two's great. Two's good.

• 54:53Speaker 03

  Two's good.

• 54:54Speaker 01

  Okay, so two points for Ellis. John, please, for Ellis's order of Bonds.

• 54:59Speaker 03

  Well, I think me and Ellis have the same order. So I've gone Connery at one.

• 55:04Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 55:04Speaker 03

  Roger Moore, two.

• 55:05Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 55:06Speaker 03

  Daniel Craig, three.

• 55:08Speaker 04

  It's actually Pierce Brosnan at number three.

• 55:11Speaker 03

  Oh, so you thought we had the same as well.

• 55:13Speaker 04

  I thought we had the same.

• 55:14Speaker 03

  So it's two for me, too.

• 55:15Speaker 04

  But to be honest, my top two interchangeable and my bottom two interchangeable. Because the thing that Roger Moore became a sort of figure of fun and yet he was the Bond of my childhood.

• 55:24Speaker 01

  Well, he did Spy Who Loved Me, I think, which is my favourite Bond as well.

• 55:27Speaker 04

  And, and then everyone tells you, they often, they didn't show the Connery ones on the telly as much because they're much more violent than the Roger Moore ones.

• 55:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 55:36Speaker 04

  So it was harder to show them. So I hadn't seen, I had to actually make a bit of an effort to see some of Sean Connery because he really kicks people's heads in.

• 55:45Speaker 03

  Does he?

• 55:45Speaker 04

  Whereas Roger Moore is.

• 55:46Speaker 01

  A bit suave, yeah.

• 55:48Speaker 04

  As I've been, I've had a suntan all my life. And then I thought Daniel Craig was very good, but I'd stopped caring about the franchise by that point.

• 55:56Speaker 01

  I'd have put Craig higher, to be honest. But great, two all. So we go into the third round, seven all.

• 56:03Speaker 03

  Panicking about a tiebreaker.

• 56:05Speaker 01

  Never, always.

• 56:07Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 56:08Speaker 01

  Round three is kitchen utensils. And the four utensils in play are cheese grater.

• 56:18Speaker 03

  Right.

• 56:19Speaker 01

  Can opener.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  Is this sort of in terms of theoretically or in my life? Because my cheese grater is my favourite utensil for grating cheese.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  Don't give stuff away here, John.

• 56:30Speaker 04

  But, I mean, name a better utensil for grating cheese than a cheese grater.

• 56:35Speaker 03

  But when would I have to compare a cheese grater to a can opener?

• 56:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, but you might.

• 56:40Speaker 03

  You have all the things in the world. You could pick.

• 56:45Speaker 04

  Dave?

• 56:45Speaker 01

  All right.

• 56:46Speaker 04

  I hate, I hate to kick a man when he's down, Dave. That's what you say, isn't it?

• 56:51Speaker 01

  We'll swap it, we'll swap it out.

• 56:51Speaker 04

  You're rubbish and this is one week.

• 56:53Speaker 01

  Well, we had cheese grater, can opener, whisk and pizza cutter. Forget it.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  Right.

• 56:57Speaker 01

  Forget it.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  Well, I've got an order.

• 57:00Speaker 01

  Because there's some that you would just probably prefer more because they're more enjoyable to use, because they might be more versatile. I imagine some of those might, you might be able to use in more emergencies than other kitchen utensils.

• 57:11Speaker 04

  Are we going?

• 57:13Speaker 01

  Get the emergency whisk. Well, you could, well, we're going to scrap this because I've lost faith in this round now. Me and Michael thought this was the most fun round, albeit a bit wacky, but I thought we were here to have fun. So we've changed it. Okay? Seasons of the year.

• 57:32Speaker 03

  Better.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Obvious, I would say. I'll list them for you just in case you're not sure.

• 57:38Speaker 04

  Thanks, man.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  It's winter, it's, let's do it in order. Winter, spring, summer, autumn. Okay. Now there's much scope, a bit more linear, a bit more one-dimensional, but this is where we are for the final round of a fun, all I thought has been quite a fun few minutes.

• 57:57Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 58:01Speaker 01

  Because can opener, you could have talked about like an apocalypse and you say you can opener, so you can make sure you open your cans if everyone else is dying. So can opener, what I had to say would be quite a strong one for you, John.

• 58:11Speaker 03

  But that's not the same as favourite, is it?

• 58:13Speaker 01

  Well, it's up there, isn't it?

• 58:14Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 58:16Speaker 01

  No, anymore.

• 58:19Speaker 01

  Anyway, here we are.

• 58:21Speaker 03

  I mean, I use my cheese grater every day and I've never owned a pizza cutter.

• 58:25Speaker 01

  There we go. So I think we're starting to see a ranking, aren't we at this stage?

• 58:27Speaker 03

  I went to a restaurant the other day that served my pizza with a big pair of scissors.

• 58:31Speaker 01

  I sometimes do scissors at home. It is frowned upon amongst our friends. Oh, well, this has done a late swap there, as I've seen little arrows point to and from.

• 58:41Speaker 03

  I'm ready to rock.

• 58:44Speaker 03

  He's still going.

• 58:46Speaker 01

  There we go.

• 58:50Speaker 01

  Four words and four numbers.

• 58:51Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 58:53Speaker 01

  John?

• 58:54Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 58:54Speaker 01

  Please guess Ellis's order of seasons.

• 58:58Speaker 03

  Top to bottom?

• 58:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, fine.

• 59:00Speaker 03

  Summer number one?

• 59:01Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 59:02Speaker 03

  Spring number two?

• 59:03Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 59:04Speaker 03

  Autumn number three?

• 59:05Speaker 01

  Absolutely.

• 59:05Speaker 03

  Winter number four?

• 59:06Speaker 01

  You know each other's seasons too well.

• 59:09Speaker 04

  I think I probably told him that the other day.

• 59:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, you know it. We probably talked about this on the podcast.

• 59:13Speaker 04

  I would be quite surprised if I've got it wrong, but

• 59:18Speaker 01

  I hope you have.

• 59:18Speaker 04

  John will be able to, you know, John will be able to explain his choices.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 59:23Speaker 04

  I think John is autumn in at number one?

• 59:28Speaker 03

  I'm afraid not.

• 59:29Speaker 04

  Spring?

• 59:30Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 59:32Speaker 03

  It would have been, it would have been autumn five years ago.

• 59:35Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what I

• 59:36Speaker 03

  Would it? But it's spring. It's all about rebirth.

• 59:38Speaker 04

  It reminded me, you wrote a vibe mail where you talked about rebirth in spring. And

• 59:45Speaker 03

  Because I run a series of spiritual retreats. It's three grand a ticket in Thailand. All your food, you have to cover your own flights.

• 59:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I was thinking of historic John.

• 59:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  I think you'd make a killing if you did decide to do that as a side hustle.

• 1:00:00Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:00:02Speaker 01

  Spiritual retreats with a dash of humour every now and then, just to lighten the mood. A wry eye.

• 1:00:07Speaker 03

  They'd get there, they'd be like, it's day five, he still hasn't come out of his room.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  You wouldn't need to be there.

• 1:00:12Speaker 03

  Why is he giving us instructions via text and megaphone?

• 1:00:15Speaker 04

  Is it, is it meant to be a silent retreat? Okay. All right then. All right then.

• 1:00:20Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:00:20Speaker 04

  So it should have been spring, autumn, winter, summer.

• 1:00:24Speaker 03

  Yeah, but you've gone.

• 1:00:25Speaker 04

  Summer absolutely at the bottom for John because he hates it and he doesn't mind winter.

• 1:00:29Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:00:30Speaker 04

  But he loves springs or rebirth and he quite likes autumn as well.

• 1:00:33Speaker 01

  Great. Three points there, Al. So that takes you

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  You can't get three points.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  Oh, two points. So, oh yeah, two points. So your final score, Ellis, is nine. John's final score is 12.

• 1:00:44Speaker 04

  I was thinking of historic John.

• 1:00:46Speaker 01

  You were thinking of historic John.

• 1:00:47Speaker 03

  Also, Dave, just a little bit of a short sighted, it's impossible to get odd numbers in that game. So you were staring down the barrel of a tie break.

• 1:00:58Speaker 01

  But we didn't.

• 1:00:58Speaker 03

  But for next time, do it out of five.

• 1:01:00Speaker 01

  No, but tie break would have been fine.

• 1:01:01Speaker 03

  Okay. What's the tie break, please?

• 1:01:03Speaker 01

  What's the tie break? How many days in the year?

• 1:01:06Speaker 01

  Closest to the pin?

• 1:01:07Speaker 03

  Ellis would, Ellis would go, I don't know, 400,000.

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  Half a million days. So leap days was half a million days, isn't it? That's the way it works. Good game. Thank you.

• 1:01:18Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 1:01:19Speaker 04

  I enjoyed that.

• 1:01:21Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:21Speaker 03

  And what's nice is for a couple, is it forces you to sort of empathise, put yourself in someone else's shoes.

• 1:01:26Speaker 01

  Well, it's very sweet, some of those. I think it's really nice how, how close you two are and how much you remember about each other's traits.

• 1:01:31Speaker 04

  He hates the summer, which I accept.

• 1:01:34Speaker 03

  And Ellis loves the summer.

• 1:01:35Speaker 04

  I love it.

• 1:01:35Speaker 01

  Yes, yes.

• 1:01:36Speaker 04

  But that vibe mail about the spring.

• 1:01:39Speaker 01

  That's it. Yeah.

• 1:01:40Speaker 04

  He's so into rebirth.

• 1:01:42Speaker 01

  He is.

• 1:01:43Speaker 04

  But he's also into the changing of the colour of leaves.

• 1:01:48Speaker 04

  For God's sake, I was there for the ticket.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  So it's a win for John. It's a, it's fantastic made up game. Good stuff.

• 1:01:53Speaker 03

  Thank you very much. Well, what a show. What an emotional rollercoaster. It's been great fun, hasn't it? Have we got anything else?

• 1:02:02Speaker 04

  No, I mean,

• 1:02:05Speaker 04

  I hate to kick you when you're down, John, Dave. That's what you say, isn't it? But I think you've been really bad today.

• 1:02:11Speaker 03

  I don't think that.

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  I won't kick you when you're down again. I thought you were a little bit more resilient than I actually am, Ellis, during your come reconnection phase. Yeah, that's it.

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  Thank you, everyone, for your patronage over the course of this episode. We hope you're well and we'll see you very soon.

• 1:02:29Speaker 04

  Yeah. Thank you very much for saying goodbye.

• 1:02:38Speaker 05

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• 1:04:15Speaker 03

  Thanks for listening to the show and you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Ellis and John for more content.

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  And you can watch highlights of every episode over on our YouTube page at Ellis and John.

• 1:04:26Speaker 03

  Plus you can find all things EJJR, including links to our Patreon, our merch and much more by heading to ellisonjohn.com. See you next time.