The Power of Consistency, Connection, and Showing Up Anyway with Natalie Ellis

Are you waiting to feel more confident before you finally put yourself out there? In Part 2 of my conversation with my friend and business partner Natalie Ellis, we talk about building self-trust through consistency, using community and relationships to create opportunities you could never create alone, and turning comparison into connection. We also dive into what 10 years of podcasting has taught me about building a platform, why you do not need your own podcast to benefit from the power of podcasting, and how becoming a great podcast guest can help you share your story and grow your audience. Get ready to learn how to trust yourself and show up anyway. Check out our Sponsors: Shopify - Try the ecommerce platform I trust for Glōci. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at http://Shopify.com/happy. Monarch Money - Get your first year of Monarch Core for half off at http://Monarch.com with code EYH. Northwest Registered Agent - Visit http://northwestregisteredagent.com/EarnFree and start using free resources to build something amazing. Indeed - Indeed is giving Earn Your Happy listeners a $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to help get your job the premium status it deserves. Just go to http://Indeed.com/podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on Earn Your Happy. Momentous - If you want to try Momentous Signature Spec Creatine, head to http://livemomentous.com and use code EARN for up to 35% off your entire first order. SmileSet - Listeners of our show get an additional 35% discount when they go to http://SMILESET.com/earn. HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 What 10 years of consistency and podcasting have taught me about self-trust. 05:30 How building a platform can create relationships and opportunities you never expected. 09:00 Could the people you feel jealous of have something valuable to teach you? 13:00 Why collecting relationships is more powerful than competing with other women. 16:15 What does it really take to build and grow a successful podcast today? 19:00 Why podcast guesting is a bigger opportunity than starting your own show. 22:30 What are the biggest mistakes guests make when appearing on podcasts? 25:15 How preparation and storytelling can turn one podcast interview into explosive growth. RESOURCES Get Natalie’s book, The Freedom-Based Business Method, HERE! Get on the waitlist for Mentor Collective Mastermind HERE! Try glōci for 40% off your first order with code HAPPY at checkout - head to getgloci.com FOLLOW Follow me: @loriharder Follow glōci: @getgloci Follow Natalie: @iamnatalie

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:45Speaker 00

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• 2:44Speaker 00

  I still to this day am challenged by anxiety. Like I feel it's fully in my body right now, but I'm still up here. This is something that has been my entire life. And when people are like, does it go away? It hasn't. So I wish I could tell you that it has, but do you know what I've done? I have so much self-trust that I'm gonna do it anyway. I have so much self-confidence that I have shown up two to four times a week. I have so much evidence that I'm gonna be okay and I'm gonna figure it out. Even though I truly sometimes say to God, I'm like, why did you plague me with this? Like, do you know what I'd be doing without it? And then I get this answer back. It's like, no, you could never talk to the women the way you're supposed to if you didn't have it.

• 3:35Speaker 01

  All right, I'm gonna ask you a few questions.

• 3:37Speaker 00

  We're like switching gears.

• 3:39Speaker 01

  Before I start crying.

• 3:41Speaker 00

  We love the tears.

• 3:42Speaker 01

  10 years of Earn Your Happy, 10 years of podcasting.

• 3:49Speaker 01

  To do the same thing for a decade is no small feat at all. That takes an enormous amount of discipline. And I'm gonna guess there have been more than a few moments where you've wanted to throw in the towel. I'm gonna guess there's been more than a few moments when you've thought, no one's listening to this. I'm not doing it anymore. And you kept doing it and you've done it to a magnitude that most of us couldn't comprehend. Three to four times a week, you have done this with discipline for a decade. The most consistent person that I know. What within you has kept you going this consistently for this long?

• 4:25Speaker 00

  You are so right when you say it has been the most wild journey of, you know, there are so many days that I do not want to do it, especially like the first three years, honestly. And when you hear this, I want you to understand. It wasn't like, oh, it was the first month was hard. It was like, no, the first three, the first four years. And you have days where you're crying all day, or you feel terrible, or you feel like you have nothing good to say. Like literally, you turn the mic on and you're like, oh, God. Ma- mom?

• 4:58Speaker 00

  How do I even start any topic whatsoever? And so, you know, I will say that the consistency came because from the beginning, I decided to adopt an attitude that no matter what happened with this podcast, it was my personal development journey. And I knew that if I could show, like if it taught me to show up two to four times a week, what else could I do in my life? I knew that if I could talk two to four times a week on a podcast, what could I not do in public? And one of the reasons that I wanted to take this challenge on is because I still to this day am challenged by anxiety. Like I feel it's fully in my body right now, but I'm still up here.

• 5:43Speaker 00

  So like I get butterflies, sometimes I'll have moments even while I'm up here where I'm like, okay, just breathe. You were holding your breath. That's why you feel like you're gonna pass out. Okay, just keep breathing. And so this is something that has been my entire life. And when people are like, does it go away? It hasn't. So I wish I could tell you that it has, but do you know what I've done? I have so much self-trust that I'm gonna do it anyway. I have so much self-confidence that I have shown up two to four times a week. I have so much evidence that I'm gonna be okay and I'm gonna figure it out. Because I made that promise to show up on the podcast. And so even though I truly sometimes say to God, I'm like, why did you plague me with this? Like, do you know what I'd be doing without it?

• 6:26Speaker 00

  And then I get this answer back. It's like, no, you could never talk to the women the way you're supposed to if you didn't have it. Like, it would be too easy. I'd be like, yeah, it's so great. Oh my God. I can't believe that you're nervous about getting up there. I'm like, no, every goddamn time. I'm like, please, I'm like so nervous. We were just back there. And so I think the thing about being consistent with the podcast is truly, I was like, I'm gonna commit to this. I'm gonna learn from it. I'm gonna see what it teaches me. I want to get to know people. I want to, you know, get into communities that I wouldn't normally have access to. And I just really viewed it as the path and I treated it that way. I was like, okay, I have trouble being consistent with a lot of stuff in my life, you guys, which might be shocking after hearing that.

• 7:11Speaker 00

  But I've pivoted more times than probably most people that you know. But that's the one consistent that I said, this is gonna be the thing that teaches me so many things that I need to know.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  I love this so much. And I feel like one of the themes that's just coming up that we're talking about is the power of building and having a community. And as women, that's what we've always done since the beginning of time. Not that I was there, but that's what I hear we've always done. We've always built community. We are so much happier when we are around other women. We are so much happier talking to other women. It's so incredibly important and building a community, I think now is one of the best things we can do. Yes, for ourselves, but also to be able to live out our dreams. When we have big dreams, if you have built a community around your mission, it allows you to go and do so many big things. Like you said, you've pivoted in so many ways, but always held really consistent with this one thing.

• 8:07Speaker 01

  And I'm curious, speaking of that, through having a podcast and growing it in the way you have, what has it given you? What are the things it's given you that you could never have predicted when you first started it?

• 8:19Speaker 00

  Oh my God, and I know you know this, but what has it not given me? And that is the only statement that I can tell you is it's, it's brought me things that I can't even fathom. Like I actually want to cry sitting and thinking about the women that I've connected with through here or through the podcast. Like, how many of you have found me through my podcast or knew about it or have been on it? Like, I'm just looking out and the number of connections that I have gotten to make, the amount of things that I have gotten to learn. I can say probably 70% of my friends have come through podcasting or deepened through podcasting. One of the coolest things that it's done is that when I go out in the world, let's say I was just meeting Natalie for the first time.

• 9:01Speaker 00

  And I'm like, ooh, I really like her. Like, what is some value that I could give to her? And how can I also kind of get to know her better, drop into her world? It's the power of having a platform and going, oh Natalie, like I loved this conversation with you. I would love to have you on the podcast and push your stuff out to my community. Like whatever you're selling, I would love to share it, hopefully introduce a new community to you. That has been probably my most powerful calling card of anything I've ever experienced, is to be able to have a place for those relationships to go. Do you know what I mean? Where you're like, oh, I really like them. Now what? And so that is a way that I've utilized the podcast, but it has come relationships. It's allowed me to launch or to pivot in many different ways.

• 9:45Speaker 00

  And I love, I mean, I'm a builder. I'll always build, always have something that I want to build, whether it's a online product, a physical product, a, you know, I get all of these different ideas. And the thing that the podcast has allowed is to truly have that audience that it's like, okay, we're gonna test it. We're gonna put it out to this audience and see. We're gonna be sharing this. And the best part is, how many of you know that when you are, you know, when you're about to launch something, the thing that you are always told to do is to start talking about it, right? Start taking people on the journey. And so I'm a little, I can be a little long-winded. You can ask my husband. And so for me, a podcast was a really beautiful place to, even if I had an idea, I wanted to see how something felt in my body, or I wanted to be like, let me just start talking about this.

• 10:30Speaker 00

  Like, it doesn't feel like me yet. It feels like people think I'm a little bit of a fraud or it's not my identity. You know what I'm talking about when you're pivoting? And you're like, oh God, this feels like I got a left field to go do a totally different social post. The podcast has been like this playground for me of, I'm just gonna put out a podcast about this thing and see how it feels. And sometimes it feels really terrible in my body. I'm like, never mind, we're not doing that. Or it's like, oh, I really started to riff on it. Like, I really see myself talking about this. I love it. And by the way, I do want to share throughout this, like you don't have to have a podcast do this. You can go on podcasts and try this. So you don't have to go and think you have to start a podcast. You can absolutely go and do that. But I have gotten investors for things. I've literally gotten business partners.

• 11:14Speaker 00

  I've gotten best friends. I've been able to just experience a different version of myself. So I can almost trace like every big relationship and moment back to a podcast, which I have like 1,600 episodes. So that seems accurate.

• 11:30Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 11:35Speaker 01

  And I want to come back to that guesting on podcasts, that part's really interesting. But I've been blessed to know you for almost 10 years now. And I remember one of our first interactions, we'd been online friends and then I told you I was moving to LA and your first reaction was, great, does this date work for you? I'm going to bring you a ton of women you should know and introduce me. And you've always been that woman who has been such a great connector. And one thing I really admire about you, which everyone who knows Lori in this room will know this is true, I have never in the entire time I've known you, heard you speak from a place of scarcity as it pertains to another woman and what she's doing. You truly believe and embody what it looks like to know that there is enough space for all of us, always.

• 12:17Speaker 01

  And I'm really curious, what mindset do you, have you, have you had to shift anything? And what mindset do you embody to really live that? Because you live it, it's not just something you say, you live it.

• 12:31Speaker 00

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• 15:12Speaker 00

  Between this podcast and my beauty and wellness brand, Some Weeks, everything is on fire and I need help yesterday. And if I had to hire a new podcast producer tomorrow, I wouldn't just post must edit audio. I'd want someone who's worked on conversational shows, gets my style, can handle the chaos from one day to the next, trying to fit in four podcast episodes a week, all of the ads that I have to put on the podcast. So this is a job for sponsored jobs. Sponsored jobs boost your posts in search results so you can reach people with the skills you actually need and you only pay for results. Sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.

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• 16:41Speaker 00

  Oh, I wish I had what she has or honestly, I get really jealous of skillsets. Who gets that? I'm like, if I just knew how to do that, I could like integrate this and put this idea out. A true ideator here, I'm like, if I just knew that skillset, I could put this new idea out. So you know, one of the things that has really helped me is to understand that when you get another woman in your life who is amazing, that you absolutely love, you actually get her skillset in your life. So when you can deeply grasp that if you have someone that you, you know, really look up to or who's stunningly beautiful, amazing with fashion, guess what? If you weren't, ask her about her necklace, have her dress you, have her help you out.

• 17:24Speaker 00

  Like having all of these incredible women in your life gives you the, you are now surrounded by all the skillsets that you want. And so when I start thinking of, you know, not being jealous of women and also having friends, my friend Lindsay Sikornik told me the best story that actually, this is where this kind of all pivoted for me years and years ago. And she said, you know, when it comes to friends, because she had like the most eclectic group, I was like, hmm, like, I'm not sure I want to hang out with some of your friends because they're just, they're, I don't know, they're different, you know? They don't, I don't feel like we're going to get along, that's all. Like you go do your thing and she's like, well, I collect people. And I was like, okay, tell me more, collecting people. This is interesting to take me somewhere.

• 18:08Speaker 00

  And she said, you know, I'm not great with fashion. And she was a yogi, like through and through, and just very like deep wisdom, like a little Buddha. And she said, I'm terrible with fashion and I really want to like, I want to look cute, I want to look great. And there's this woman that I couldn't stand and she'd show up in the parent like pickup line and she, it'd be like, you know, 6:30 in the morning and she'd look hot, like head to toe, just everything is perfect and looks great. And she was like, I was hating on her, jealous of her, like who, what are you trying to prove? And then she was like, wait a minute, she could really help me look hot. And so she had a moment that not everybody is going to be exactly who you, they're not going to be exactly like you.

• 18:53Speaker 00

  And so when we start to realize that everybody needs to play a role in your life, then you can start letting people play the role they're meant to play instead of going, hmm, you're not really for me. Like you, you're into yoga, I'm not. Okay, well, let them play that role, but also figure out like, look for the golden people because that's what's changed my life is whenever I meet a woman or whenever I'm jealous or whatever it is, I'm like, she has something to offer me and I have something to offer her. And so it makes me stay in a conversation a little bit longer. Cause normally it's like, what do we do in these rooms? We go to people who look either like us, no joke, right? That look like our twin. Or we go to people who look approachable or comfortable. And so if we all did the most crazy experiment today, where you went up to someone that you

• 19:36Speaker 00

  wouldn't normally go up to, I guarantee you'd get an answer that you've been waiting on for a long time. Because God does this thing where he buries treasure in people who you would never think it's there. And so we walk by it every day. And so when I think of people and women and opportunities, they are everywhere. Like they're, they're at the coffee shop, they're at the cashier, they're at the person sitting at the table next to you. And so, you know, in terms of people in general, I think that's just how I view people.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  I love this so much. And so coming back to podcasting, I'm very curious for anyone in the room who has a podcast, is looking to start one or wants to be on more shows, what have you really learned about being in the game? Cause there's a lot of rules to the game that are kind of gate kept. What have you learned?

• 20:24Speaker 00

  Oh gosh, there's so many gate kept ones especially. Um, I think some of the, some of the things that like, once you get into the industry too, you're like, wow, a lot of the top 25 spots are paid. So even if you were in the top 25, you're probably getting kicked out by the paid spots. There's a lot of eye opening things like that, that you actually can't get caught up on. And you have to just say, no, I'm in it because I love it. I'm in it because it's offering me so much value. And I think that the biggest pieces of podcasting and like, what you have to know is it's got to be good content. It's just literally got to be good content that you're putting out, meaning if people want to, people aren't going to share content that isn't great.

• 21:07Speaker 00

  And so if we're looking at the algorithm of a podcast, it's really brutal because there really isn't one. Unless you have a great YouTube team putting you on YouTube, unless you have a great social media, unless you have a team that's really focusing on getting your content out. It's kind of like Instagram. If you don't get a focused strategic plan of how you want to get out there, you're probably not going to grow in a really big way. You know, I do think that a big part of podcasting is getting more well-known guests on sometimes, but it doesn't have to be all the time. And I meet a lot of people who chase a lot of shiny guests, and that doesn't always work either. And I've met so many people who just have conversations with their friends all day, and that works. And so I think it's

• 21:51Speaker 00

  it's kind of like finding what fits for you and deciding if it's something that you want to go all in on. Because especially at this point in the game, I think that there is a lot of podcasts out there. You have to really be committed to a podcast if that's the way that you want to grow. And nowadays, you kind of do have to put a lot of energy and some money behind it to grow. But what I want to really talk about right now is the power of how many people are starting podcasts, and the power of being a professional guest on a podcast. So some of you might be thinking, oh, my gosh, Lori just told me all the reasons I should start a podcast. Like, I'm feeling FOMO. I should really have one. Who's feeling that just a little bit? Okay, I mean, I feel that whenever people

• 22:34Speaker 00

  talk about anything. So truly, who feels that like, oh, maybe I should have a podcast? Okay. So in a world where it is a little bit of an uphill to start a podcast to get out there and, you know, then put it on your social media. And if your social media is not growing, let me tell you, podcast reels and clips don't really do that great. So if that's the way that you think you're going to grow, it's going to be an uphill challenge. Now, podcast guesting in a world where everyone is starting a podcast, and where everybody is paying to have a podcast, guess how many of them all need guests every single week?

• 23:13Speaker 00

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• 24:36Speaker 00

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• 25:18Speaker 00

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• 25:53Speaker 00

  Between this podcast and my beauty and wellness brand, some weeks, everything is on fire, and I need help yesterday. And if I had to hire a new podcast producer tomorrow, I wouldn't just post must-edit audio. I'd want someone who's worked on conversational shows, gets my style, can handle the chaos from one day to the next, trying to fit in four podcast episodes a week, all of the ads that I have to put on the podcast. So this is a job for sponsored jobs. Sponsored jobs boost your posts in search results, so you can reach people with the skills you actually need, and you only pay for results. Sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.

• 26:37Speaker 00

  That's huge when you can't afford to wait around for help. Spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes. Less stress, less time, more results. When you need the right person to cut through the chaos, this is a job for Indeed-sponsored jobs. And listeners of the show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to help get your job the premium status it deserves at indeed.com/podcast. Just go to indeed.com/podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com/podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need a hiring hero? This is a job for Indeed-sponsored jobs. Would you rather pay for a platform or consistently understand how to borrow a platform over and

• 27:22Speaker 00

  over again? You guys, it's it's like if Instagram had to have guests, if she had to have guests every day on Boss Babe. Like, wouldn't you be applying to be a guest all of the time? All of the time? All of the time? If it was like Natalie was like, I need a new guest. Oh, my God, this is a hungry baby. I have to do another interview. I have to do two interviews a week. I have to do three a week. And something that I'm really learning about interviewing, and Natalie, I know you know this, with the sheer volume of pitches that I see, 99% are terrible, terrible. And then when they come on, nobody knows how to tell a story. Nobody knows how to bring me through a beautiful storytelling sales funnel, and

• 28:03Speaker 00

  nobody knows how to give a call to action that captures my audience into their email. I am like astounded by the amount of people who come on and waste an opportunity in front of hundreds of thousands of hungry people who I've already sold, I've already made millions through, so it's an audience of buyers, that come on. And do you know what they say to me? This is, we've decided this is the worst thing you could ever say to a podcast guest, and it's going to be opposite of what you think. I say, okay, so what would you like to talk about? Like, how how can we make sure that we really promote you? And they go, I'm just here to serve your audience. And I'm like, oh, man. Because here's why

• 28:42Speaker 00

  that doesn't serve my audience. If you are profoundly amazing at talking about the psychology of marriage, let's talk about like, really dialing in, like a relationship, right? Like, having the best marriage of your life. And maybe I saw some content you put out recently and read some other things, and it's about something else. But your zone of genius is not the something else that I'm about to do an hour of podcasting on. Now, all of a sudden, you're not even in your zone of genius. You're not giving me the good parts of you. You're not even giving me a good story, because you left it all in my hands to try to guess exactly what I should ask you about to drop you right into the center of your zone of genius and give me all the great things that you know. And so I think that, you know,

• 29:26Speaker 00

  one of the things that I'm going to be chatting more on and actually doing an offer on is truly like getting you to all understand, I need better guests. Like, I need you to be a better guest. And so I think there's just such a gap in getting people to learn how to storytell and bring them through. It's almost like a life funnel. It's truly a, you're learning how to do a podcast funnel as a guest and bring me through the story all the way to the bottom, but keep me interested throughout to that call of action, which is really, really exciting for me. And because I've been in it for 10 years, and I've heard, I mean, that's 1,600 conversations. That's a lot.

• 30:07Speaker 01

  Signing up. I want to echo that because it just, when you were talking, it took me back to the very early days of my podcast, and I had Mel Robbins on there way before she started her own podcast. And the way that she took podcast guesting was mind-blowing. So she sent me a podcast pack ahead of time, and it had all of the hooks that work really well for her, all of the stories that she's very well-versed in telling, and she had a recommendation, what would land for my audience, right? She was prepared. She gave me a stack of notes. She told me what time she'd arrive, what time she would leave, what we had to really cover. And again, this was, this was a long time ago. This was way before

• 30:48Speaker 01

  she really leapt into the zeitgeist. And we weren't getting huge traction back then. We had our current audience, but like Lori's saying, that's not really enough to get your podcast out there. And I read this press pack. It made my life as a host very easy, and I'm still like, learning how to interview. And I asked her the one question she told me to ask in the way she told me to ask it. And then I titled the episode in the way in which she told me to do it. That one clip blew up, single-handedly, my YouTube, my podcast, my social media. It went so mega-viral. I think that one video alone brought in 15,000 subscribers on YouTube. It was mind-blowing. And that was all because she knew how to

• 31:31Speaker 01

  be a guest. And that's always, always stuck with me, but I haven't put the two and two together since you said that. So I absolutely love that. Okay, tell me, what are you most excited about right now?

• 31:42Speaker 00

  Oh, my gosh, I think I'm kind of like you, where I'm like, my God, I actually have a life where I get to do these things that I love every single day, which is so awesome. I'm actually very excited about that. I can't wait to teach people how to be a guest. I'm coming up with something right now, because that's one of my biggest struggles is good guests. And I think when you have that much volume and in a world of podcasts going up, like, it's insane. Everybody has a literal podcast, everyone. I really, really want to teach people the power of exactly that, going on and making the podcaster's life easy. But then also, you guys, the money that is in that is staggering when you do it right. Like, I can't even imagine what audience that brought to Mel, for sure. Now,

• 32:23Speaker 00

  there's been people that have gone on her podcast, and no one has ever gone to the guest that's on, because they didn't have any of that. I guarantee majority of those listeners went and got in her funnel and purchased something from her. And so I'm very, very excited about that. Always so excited about Glossy and getting to do those things with you. And I'm excited about, we actually also became a part of a peptide company, so I'm excited about that.

• 32:50Speaker 01

  I love this. Hit me up when I start breastfeeding.