How to Backfill the Gaps When Life and Business Change

Are you holding on too tightly to people, opportunities, or business strategies that have already run their course? In this episode, Chris and I talk about why life and business are always changing, and how much of the pain comes from expecting things to stay the same. We share how friendships, income streams, and business chapters have evolved throughout our lives and why learning to enjoy what you have while you have it is just as important as knowing when to pivot. Get ready to rethink how you handle change and start seeing what could be waiting around the corner. Check out our Sponsors: Shopify - Try the ecommerce platform I trust for Glōci. Sign up for your $1/month trial period at http://Shopify.com/happy. Monarch Money - Get your first year of Monarch Core for half off at http://Monarch.com with code EYH. Northwest Registered Agent - Visit http://northwestregisteredagent.com/EarnFree and start using free resources to build something amazing. Fabric - Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to help protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at http://meetfabric.com/earn. Indeed - Indeed is giving Earn Your Happy listeners a $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to help get your job the premium status it deserves. Just go to http://Indeed.com/podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on Earn Your Happy. Momentous - If you want to try Momentous Signature Spec Creatine, head to http://livemomentous.com and use code EARN for up to 35% off your entire first order. Brevo - Meet Brevo…the all-in-one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement, and grow your business smarter. Get started for free today—or use code HAPPY50 to save 50% on Starter and Standard Plans for the first three months of an annual subscription. Just head to http://www.brevo.com/happy HIGHLIGHTS Why life and business are always a revolving door. How to enjoy people and opportunities while you have them. Why friendships often change as your life and priorities evolve. How to backfill what changes instead of getting stuck in the past. Why your next opportunity may come from a completely different direction. How the right rooms can help you find new people, ideas, and opportunities. RESOURCES Want to join me for four days up the Southern California coast? DM Chris on Instagram at @chriswharder Learn more about Loop at loriharder.com/loop Get on the waitlist for Mentor Collective Mastermind HERE! Try glōci for 40% off your first order with code HAPPY at checkout - head to getgloci.com FOLLOW Follow me: @loriharder Follow Chris: @chriswharder Follow glōci: @getgloci

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Okay, whenever I'm traveling, I love to skip like the main mall of the town. And I like to hunt down all of those little shops on the corner where the locals love to go, where all the good stuff is. So candles made by local people, a sweatshirt with the town's name on it, hot sauce made 20 minutes away, and the owner knows everybody's name. And I've also been on the other side of that shelf because I built a product from scratch. And I'll never forget, the first independent store who believed in it enough to put it on their shelves. Big box stores sell stuff, but small shops tell a story about people. So if you own one of those shops, you need to know about FAIRE.

• 0:43Speaker 00

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• 1:27Speaker 00

  This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Ready to launch your business before Black Friday? Go to Shopify.com/happy to start your free trial. Monarch Money, Monarch breaks the debt cycle, turning that endless gloom into a plan with an end date. Use code EYH at monarch.com to get your first year of Monarch Core half off at just $50. Northwest Registered Agent, Northwest gives you access to thousands of free guides, tools, and attorney drafted documents to help you run your business with confidence. Visit northwestregisteredagent.com/earnfree and start using free resources to build something amazing. Indeed, spend less time searching and more time actually interviewing candidates who check all your boxes.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  They're giving Earn Your Happy a $75 sponsored job credit. Go to Indeed.com/podcast right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Life at the Speed of Play, Mark is offering our listeners two books for the price of one. Go to GetMark'sBook.com/earn. Sequencing, sequencing.com is offering your listeners up to 10% off your full genome test plus free shipping. Go to sequencing.com and use promo code EARN for 10% off. Chris and I have also now recently in the last 10 years, had a lot of different couple friends who were like, we're going to be best friends with them for life.

• 2:51Speaker 00

  And then all of a sudden, the marriage breaks up or they move and it just pulls you apart. You can either say like, oh, this is so sad. See, nobody stays together. You can't, the only people that you have are each other or your family. I don't ever want to get to that place. I always want to be creating new friends for exactly where I'm at with the hopes that we'll be friends for life, but not with the expectation that we will have to be friends for life. It's really made me savor the moments more with people of like, you are such a fit of a friend for me right now. I'm so grateful for this.

• 3:31Speaker 01

  And we're back.

• 3:32Speaker 00

  With another episode of He Said, She Said.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  It's so funny. Lori and I just high fived each other and we're like, all right, we got this. Good energy. Let's go. Cause sometimes when you sit down and record an episode, even though you know what you want to talk about, you're just like, you're tired or you're calm or you're relaxed.

• 3:46Speaker 00

  It's Sunday morning.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  Yeah. In our case, it's a Sunday morning. We just walked the boys. It's hot out. We just finished another coffee and a shake. I'm just like, oh shoot, we got to record a podcast. So here's what we want to talk about today, and I think this is going to resonate with a lot of you because life seems to be changing quickly right now. And the changes in life, mostly driven by AI and things like that, are not only happening faster than ever and more dynamic than ever and bigger than ever, but it's causing changes in business. And when you have changes in business, it changes your life. And when you have changes in life, it changes your business and it's one big wheel. Now, what I want to kind of start with is this, the concept that life will forever be a revolving door.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  And I think sometimes we as humans forget this, we get so stuck on this is my forever business. This is my forever set of friends. This is my forever path, that we forget that life is really just an unpredictable revolving door. And the pain comes from not expecting that. The pain comes from expecting that life is not a revolving door and that everything's going to stay the same. When we as humans don't even stay the same, you guys, we as a human species, much less individuals, don't even stay the same in what we want as we learn and as we evolve. So of course life is just revolving door. And we're on our walk talking about this.

• 5:11Speaker 01

  And I was kind of reminiscing with Lori. I'm like, I remember growing up, my parents had a few sets of best friends. And I mean, they were ride or die best friends. I remember when we were living in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin, the ride or die best friends of my parents, they were named the Mackies. And they were this wonderful family. And not only were our parents best friends, but then I, you know, my brother and I were friends with the kids. And boy, I thought it'd be that way forever. Until we picked up and moved and then we moved to Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And my parents had new ride or die best friends, the Kestlers. And not only were they best friends, but us kids were all best friends. And I thought that would last forever. Things change and people come and go from your life. And sometimes they don't come and go completely like a light switch turning on and off.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  Sometimes they're very present in your life and sometimes they're more distant in your life, but they're not gone. Well, what does this have to do with business? Which is why a lot of you tune in. Business trends are the exact same thing. Some come and go completely. Some are really present in your life for a while and you're minting money. And then they don't go away fully, but they're certainly not what they used to be. And the pain comes from thinking that it's going to be that way forever.

• 6:26Speaker 00

  You know, friends are very much, when you think about it, area and activity consistent. Like they're exactly connected to the area that you live and the activities that you do at the time. And so looking back at all of the different groups of friends that we've cycled through in our adult life. When we were first married and we didn't really have a direction or a plan. And I was working random jobs and you were at the mortgage company. It was very much our friends were the people that you worked with.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Location based.

• 7:04Speaker 00

  It was the people that you worked with, friends from work. I made friends with the wives of the people at your work because I was doing random jobs. And it was very much friend groups that we were just kind of put together, especially in my case, because of circumstances. And so I didn't really feel like anyone was a great fit, but we had a lot, you know, of things in common and we traveled together because of your work and things like that. And I remember feeling a little bit like, oh, I'm not really sure these people are a great fit because we were not essentially finding friends around core values and building a vision together. And so then when we got into network marketing, I felt a much closer fit with a lot of the friends

• 7:48Speaker 00

  that I made there because we were building a vision together. And the friend groups that we made there, some of the couples there were like, wow, we're going to be best friends for life. Like I can't tell you how much energy and fun we would create and have when we were together as couples, because we were really building towards a vision together. And then when that chapter started to come to a bit of a close or change a little bit, we really grew apart because we weren't getting thrown together by all of the trips that we were going on by flying to help build each other's teams, by seeing each other all the time, because we were now doing something different. So it was like a painful thing,

• 8:29Speaker 00

  but also when you are pivoting and moving into other areas, it pulls you apart. Location wise, it pulls you apart activity wise, and you're just not getting thrown together as much. When you think about it, it's like, that's why people are, you know, you find a lot of your best friends in school or in your sports or in your college or your, you know, that your roommates with, is because it is truly based around exactly what you're doing and what you're building towards. And so I think that the hardest part of all of this is having the expectation that you're going to carry these friends for life. And you know, Chris and I have also now, you know, fairly recently in the last 10 years, had a lot of different couple friends who were like, we're going to be best friends with them for life. And then all of a sudden, the marriage breaks up

• 9:14Speaker 00

  or they move or you know, they go in a completely different direction of what you're going, or even belief system. We've seen that, different religions, different beliefs. And it just pulls you apart. And one of the most, I think where, you know, you can get extremely, like Chris said, you can either go one way or the other. You can either say like, oh, we're not going to be friends with people or oh, this is so sad. See, nobody stays together. You can't, the only people that you have are each other or your family. I don't ever want to get to that place. I always want to be creating new friends for exactly where I'm at with the hopes that we'll be friends for life, but not with the expectation that we will have to be friends for life.

• 9:54Speaker 00

  It's really made me savor the moments more with people of like, you are such a fit of a friend for me right now. I'm so grateful for this.

• 10:04Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so guys, what is the analogy here? Same goes for your business. Your business is a revolving door, just like your life and your relationships is a revolving door. And a lot of times they go hand in hand. And so what happens when this revolving door revolves? What happens when this happens to you? Well, here's the role that you play in it. Number one, you're supposed to enjoy it while you have it, right? Got a great friendship you love? Enjoy it while you have it. Got a great way of making money? Enjoy it while you have it and take care of those things as long as you can. Take care of the friendship, take care of the money. But then number two, be open and aware of the fact that life will cause a revolving door.

• 10:48Speaker 01

  Things will change and it's up to you to backfill the gap or to find the pivot. That's it guys. These are the two roles you play in this ever changing revolving door of life and business. Number one, enjoy it while you have it and take care of it. Number two, be open and aware of the fact that it is going to change at some point. Don't be freaking naive. And find the pivot, find the backfill when it changes. Your choice is to backfill the missing friend or the missing relationships, or the missing business trend, or the missing income, or be sad and suffer. That's it, guys. I have so many people that I know that are still reminiscing about the good old days.

• 11:33Speaker 01

  They're still reminiscing about, oh, back when we knew these people, back when we made money this way, because they just didn't accept change. And backfill and pivot, backfill and pivot. Our income sources have changed dramatically. If you're into coaching and consulting world, you know that that is dried up like a desert. Because AI now makes information free. So our income sources have changed and we have backfilled and pivot, backfilled and pivot. This is your role, guys. It's that or suffer. And that is life's law. Everything will always be changing and you play a role in preserving it while you got it and knowing you won't have it forever and taking action when you don't.

• 12:16Speaker 00

  When I launched Glossy, my drinkable skincare brand, I was obsessed with the formula. The product was my baby, but the store part felt way more intimidating. And that's a big reason we built on Shopify in the beginning, because you really don't have to be an e-commerce expert to get up and running. And that's a big deal in the beginning of a business. And here's the biggest lesson I learned about the holidays. You do not want to be building your store in the middle of the rush. You want to be set up, you want to be tested and ready before the traffic hits. So two things I love. First, Shopify mobile app. I'm on planes, I'm on stages, I'm here recording with you and I can still check my inventory, help a customer, see payments right from my phone, which is so much fun. And that's the second they check out.

• 13:00Speaker 00

  So Shopify checkout with Shop Pay converts up to 36% higher than the competition. When you've worked that hard to get someone to your site, that last click matters. So if you've had a business idea sitting in your notes app for way too long, this is your sign. Launch before Black Friday, a time of year when more people are already shopping and ready to buy. If you're ready to launch your business before Black Friday, go to Shopify.com/happy to start your free trial. That's Shopify.com/happy. Go to Shopify.com/happy today to hear your first.

• 13:40Speaker 00

  You guys know I'm all about turning big ideas into something in reality. But here's the thing, not every idea deserves your time, energy, and especially your money. That's why I want to tell you about life at the speed of play. Launch products people love. The new book from the legendary Silicon Valley entrepreneur, Mark Pincus. That's Mark with a K. It's an instant national bestseller and in just 170 fast-paced pages, which I'm all about, Mark shares invaluable life skills and his battle-tested, easy-to-follow framework for quickly testing ideas, getting real feedback and figuring out what is worth pursuing. He's one of Silicon Valley's most prolific idea generators. And this isn't some stuffy business book.

• 14:24Speaker 00

  It feels like sitting in this kitchen, getting advice straight from someone who's actually done something huge. Because how many of us have spent months overthinking an idea, wondering if it'll work, instead of actually testing it? That's exactly the cycle this book helps you break. And Mark has a special offer for our Earn Your Happy listeners. Go to GetMark'sBook.com/earn and get two copies for $32. That's just $16 each. And Mark is personally paying for your second copy because he knows entrepreneurship can be lonely. Keep wanting, give it to a friend who's ready to make something happen. Again, go to GetMark'sBook.com/earn.

• 15:05Speaker 00

  There was a stretch in my early twenties when I was chipping away at credit card debt and it honestly felt like it was never going to end. I'd make a payment, I would feel good for a day and then I'd look at the balance and feel like I did nothing. And what changed everything was finally seeing a finish line. That's why I love Monarch's Debt Pay Down Simulator and Visualizer. It shows your exact debt-free date based on your real balance and payments. And you get to watch that timeline move. Every extra payment, the date gets closer. That kind of visible progress keeps you going. And my favorite part is playing out your options. You can run different payment scenarios side by side and instantly see

• 15:49Speaker 00

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• 16:27Speaker 01

  This also applies to like, how do you pivot? How do you find the next trend? How do you find the next like-minded friends? Remember Lori was talking about, you know, friendships are based on having activities in common and locations in common? Well, a good example is go join masterminds. A good example is put on your own little trips and travel with other people. And if you don't have them, join the ones that already exist. Like, for example, I'm putting this trip where we are going up the coast of Southern California, starting at the end of September. Small group, 10 people. And it's a remarkable 10 people. We have literally the world's top concierge doctor that is a doctor to just all of the A-list entrepreneurs. We've got somebody who owns a massive HR and headhunting company going.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  We've got an AI tech genius going. We've got an incredible woman who owns several brick and mortar boudoir photography locations, but then also raised a great big private lending fund. How badass is that? It goes on and on. We've got the owner of a creative studio. It helps founders and celebrities tell their story. We've got a remarkable engineer who builds, who built this great big business out of 3D printing. We've got one of the original founding employees from Postmates and Uber Eats, who is a go-to-market specialist. Imagine the conversations you could have about going to market with someone like that. We've got a woman who owns a multi-multi-multi-million dollar salon and teaches other women how to do this. Like, guys, those are the kind of people that said, I need to go on a trip and backfill some of the relationships that have changed or backfill some of the ways that I've made money in the past.

• 17:56Speaker 01

  And this is the kind of container where I get to have that conversation.

• 17:59Speaker 00

  And also, don't count yourself out if you're like, well, I'm not, I'm not that, what he just said about all those people. That's exactly the room that you want to be in. Like, I don't know about you, but I actually want to be the dumbest person in the rooms that I can get all of the benefits of everybody else. Plus, you have so many things to offer. Like, I literally know anybody listening to this has so many things to offer. And sometimes you can't fully discover what you have to offer until you're in a room like that and you start seeing gaps and you realize, even though you're in a room with such insanely epic people, this has happened to me multiple times, who are light years ahead of me. You're like, wait a minute, they're not seeing this gap. Or wow, they've never been through this. Or wow, I actually really helped them with their personal relationship.

• 18:44Speaker 00

  Like, there are so many things that you're going to discover about yourself on this trip. So whether you are someone who is out there just slaying it, you need this, or whether you're out there and you're like, wow, I really need to be around people who are ahead of me, this is the perfect spot for you.

• 18:58Speaker 01

  Yeah, this reminds me of when we went to Guatemala with Lewis Howes and Christina from Fully Raw Christina and Amanda Bucci and, you know, Scooter Braun's brother, Adam and Val from Dancing with the Stars. Like, we were really intimidated to go on that trip, listen to that lineup. And then we all left close friends, because when you go travel together for several days, the bond that happens is unmatchable. I know that's not a word, but there's nothing that replaces it. That's why The Bachelor, you know, the TV show, does what they do. They put everybody on a romantic setting and do really cool things. Because nothing creates a faster bond than having those experiences together. So why do I bring this up? We got one spot left. You heard the roster of who's going? There is one spot left.

• 19:41Speaker 01

  I don't care if you want to be quote-unquote "the dumbest person on the trip." I say that jokingly because of what Lori just said. Or if you're like, ooh, that's the room I want to be in, because that's the kind of high-value exchanges I'm looking to have for four days. Either way, I can't wait to see who grabs this last spot. First class, highly curated but slow-paced, nobody does it better. I can't wait for you to experience this. If you want to come and grab that last spot, literally right now, hit pause, hit stop.

• 20:08Speaker 00

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• 20:52Speaker 00

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• 21:25Speaker 00

  You guys know I'm all about turning big ideas into something in reality. But here's the thing, not every idea deserves your time, energy, and especially your money. That's why I want to tell you about Life at the Speed of Play. Launch products people love, the new book from the legendary Silicon Valley entrepreneur, Mark Pincus. That's Mark with a K. It's an instant national bestseller and in just 170 fast-paced pages, which I'm all about, Mark shares invaluable life skills and has battle-tested, easy-to-follow framework for quickly testing ideas, getting real feedback, and figuring out what is worth pursuing. He's one of Silicon Valley's most prolific idea generators, and this isn't some stuffy

• 22:07Speaker 00

  business book. It feels like sitting in this kitchen, getting advice straight from someone who's actually done something huge. Because how many of us have spent months overthinking an idea, wondering if it'll work, instead of actually testing it? That's exactly the cycle this book helps you break. And Mark has a special offer for our Earn Your Happy listeners. Go to GetMark'sBook.com/earn and get two copies for $32. That's just $16 each, and Mark is personally paying for your second copy because he knows entrepreneurship can be lonely. Keep wanting, give it to a friend who's ready to make something happen. Again, go to GetMark'sBook.com/earn.

• 22:50Speaker 00

  Between this podcast and my Beauty and Wellness brand, some weeks, everything is on fire and I need help yesterday. And if I had to hire a new podcast producer tomorrow, I wouldn't just post must-edit audio. I'd want someone who's worked on conversational shows, gets my style, can handle the chaos from one day to the next, trying to fit in four podcast episodes a week, all of the ads that I have to put on the podcast. So this is a job for sponsored jobs. Sponsored jobs boost your posts in search results so you can reach people with the skills you actually need, and you only pay for results. Sponsored jobs posted directly on Indeed are 95% more likely to report a hire than

• 23:32Speaker 00

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• 24:13Speaker 01

  And DM me, Chris W. Harder. Just say, "I want to go on the found trip." I'm calling this new series of trips "Found," kind of like a founder, but also you're going to find what you're looking for, the conversations, the life-changing perspectives. It's going to change the trajectory of your life forever. So just DM me real quick, Chris W. Harder, "I want to go on the found trip." I'll answer any questions you have, and we'll see who gets this last spot first.

• 24:34Speaker 00

  All right, you guys, we're so grateful for you, and we will talk to you next week.