Summary
Written by a model from the transcript; not yet reviewed.
In this episode, the hosts return to the kitchen counter set for another round of Ask Tell Confess, reading wild listener-submitted stories about bad dates, hookups, and awkward bedroom moments. The hosts and guests react with shock and amusement to bizarre anecdotes involving guns, body fluids, weird personal quirks, and unexpected thefts. Throughout the episode, they share unfiltered commentary on everything from botched sexual positions and inappropriate touching to unusual hygiene habits and a live update on cosmetic procedures.
- Always establish clear communication and mutual consent before trying any new positions or intimate surprises. 17:41
- Be cautious when meeting dates from online platforms, as people can turn out to be completely different from their profiles. 16:31
- Maintain proper boundaries and respect personal space, especially when someone is sleeping or vulnerable. 9:21
Chapters
- 0:17Podcast Intro and Format Update
Hosts welcome listeners, explain schedule changes, and introduce the episode’s theme of sharing worst dates and hookups.
- 1:36Submission Process and Audience Interaction
Hosts describe how listeners can submit stories via Instagram and clarify the Q&A format.
- 4:12Second Anonymous Story: Gun‑Holstered Hookup
A harrowing tale of a date that escalated to a gun‑bearing, violent encounter.
- 5:57Third Anonymous Story: Coca‑Cola and Violence
A bizarre story involving a request to mix cocaine with a partner’s body and a violent threat.
- 8:16Fourth Anonymous Story: Finger‑In‑Asshole Incident
A graphic account of a non‑consensual sexual act involving a finger in the asshole.
- 12:18Fifth Anonymous Story: Booger on Titty
A listener shares a gross moment when a booger fell on their partner’s breast during sex.
- 12:52Sixth Anonymous Story: Booger‑Infused Boobs and Nipple Talk
A story about a partner’s oddly long nipples and a request for a big penis.
- 20:34Closing Remarks and Farewell
Hosts wrap up the episode, tease future content, and say goodbye to listeners.
Highlights
- 2:01
First Time Doggy Style Disasterstory
A listener shares a traumatizing first experience with doggy style where she arched her back like a hunchback, prompting the guy to tell her to go the other way.
- 4:22
Naked With a Gun And Helicopterstory
A hookup in a trailer park goes sideways when the naked man puts on a shoulder holster with a 45 and starts doing the helicopter.
- 8:16
Sleep Finger In An Assholestory
A woman wakes up to find her drunk partner has shoved her finger up his ass while moaning heavily.
- 10:18
Period Bloodbath On Antique White Sheetsstory
A listener recounts an accidental heavy period during a hookup on antique white sheets in a spare bedroom.
- 12:18
A short and sweet listener story details a hookup ending instantly after a booger falls on her chest.
- 14:40
Bleaching Buttholes On The Podcastinsight
The host casually announces she just slathered medical bleach on her asshole and is waiting to see the results.
- 16:46
Platform Air Force Ones Mid-Hookupstory
A Tinder date who was much shorter than expected pauses mid-hookup to put on platform Air Force Ones.
Quotes
“We are back in full effect at the kitchen counter for Ask Tell Confess.”
Bunnie XO · 0:17 “We used to take like an entire month off.”
Unnamed speaker · 0:58 “She wanted me to put coke on my dick and hit it from the back while actually punching her in the head.”
Bunnie XO · 6:06 “I was like, you mean like be a little rough, right?”
Bunnie XO · 6:06
About this episode
Ask, Tell, Confess is back at the kitchen counter, and somehow y’all managed to outdo yourselves. This week, the gang is diving into your absolute WORST date and hookup stories—and there is truly no preparing for where these confessions go. We’re talking puking in mouths to Alan Jackson, surprise butt play with ZERO warning, period disasters on white sheets, boogers on boobs, and enough poop and puke stories to last us a lifetime. Bunnie, Meme, Hailee, and Jaime break down every unhinged detail while getting into sex and consent, period sex, butt stuff myths, bleaching buttholes before surgery (yes, really), and the red flags you should NEVER ignore just because you’re “already there.” Consider this your reminder: sometimes it’s better to just get dressed and go home. Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@Dumbblondepod
Transcript
3,855 words · 4 speakers
Speaker names marked are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
Topics
- Air Force
- POF
- Dinglehopper
- Dare Program
- Chattahoochee
- Plenty of Fish
- Tinder
- L'Oreal
- Hollywood
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