Elle Apologizes to Dolly

(Originally aired: 8/12/24) Elle King is a boss, and leaves no stone unturned in her vulnerable conversation with Bunnie this week. Elle opens up about what really happened at the Grand Ole Opry performance that went viral, Dolly Parton's kind words that helped turn things around, and how she started her journey of healing and self work. She reflects on her unique upbringing as the daughter of comedian Rob Schneider, sharing both the fun and challenges that came with growing up in the spotlight. She also shares her experiences with motherhood, including the ups and downs with her baby daddy, and how these personal journeys have influenced her new music, including 'Baby Daddy's Weekend' and ongoing tour. Elle King: Website https://www.elleking.com Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@Dumbblondepod

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bunnie XO?

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• 0:42Bunnie XO?

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• 0:52Speaker 01

  Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 0:55Bunnie XO?

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• 1:39Bunnie XO?

  That's chime.com/b-u-n-n-i-e. Sign up now, it only takes a few minutes.

• 1:45Speaker 02

  Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com/disclosures for details. BunnyXO. She's a Vegas queen. BunnyXO. She changed my life.

• 2:01Speaker 03

  Dumb Blog Podcast. And BunnyXO. Jelly rolls like BunnyXO. This bunny. BunnyXO. Talk to me about BunnyXO. Bunny.

• 2:20Bunnie XO?

  Is this thing on? What's up, you sexy motherfuckers? Today, I am so excited because I have been wanting this guest forever. Ever since your first album came out, I have been obsessed with you. And not to mention, your dad was one of my childhood crushes.

• 2:37Speaker 04

  Oh, my gosh.

• 2:39Bunnie XO?

  L King is in the house, baby.

• 2:43Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 2:44Bunnie XO?

  I have been waiting for you to come because you do not know how obsessed I was with Deuce Bigelow.

• 2:48Speaker 04

  No, you know, I was in that.

• 2:50Bunnie XO?

  I did not know that.

• 2:51Speaker 04

  Wow, a little foreshadowing. You're like, we're gonna be friends.

• 2:53Bunnie XO?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 2:54Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was the little Girl Scout.

• 2:56Bunnie XO?

  I love that. I never even knew that. But I mean, I just, I'm, I've always been a try, like John Candy and like funny comedians were always my thing. And your dad, like, I knew, I knew he was like the tiniest little thing ever.

• 3:09Speaker 04

  Oh, my gosh.

• 3:10Bunnie XO?

  But I was just like-

• 3:10Speaker 04

  If he finds this out, he's gonna be like, I've still got it.

• 3:13Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no. Dude, Rob Schneider was like, it was Rob Schneider, Drew Carey. Like, I had a list of like comedians that I loved as a child.

• 3:22Speaker 04

  I, I always go for funny over anything.

• 3:25Bunnie XO?

  Me too.

• 3:25Speaker 04

  I mean, I've, I've dated all kinds of different people. Um, but if you make me laugh, you get my heart and-

• 3:33Bunnie XO?

  My vagina.

• 3:34Speaker 04

  And my vagina.

• 3:35Bunnie XO?

  I'm telling you, man, you make me laugh, my legs are spread wide open.

• 3:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, and like throwing like a neck tat, like, sold.

• 3:40Bunnie XO?

  Oh, they have to have tattoos. Do you have to date a man with tattoos or can you date a man who has bear skin?

• 3:46Speaker 04

  I, I, I'll try anything twice.

• 3:48Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 3:48Speaker 04

  Um, but I do tend to get along better, um, with, I don't know, it just, I, I like people who have tattoos. It's-

• 3:59Bunnie XO?

  Same.

• 3:59Speaker 04

  You can withstand, if someone's like covered in tattoos, like, they can withstand some things.

• 4:04Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, they can take some shit.

• 4:05Speaker 04

  Or they've been through things, you know?

• 4:07Bunnie XO?

  Or they have that like rough around the edges thing.

• 4:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:09Bunnie XO?

  I feel like if, if we're flesh all enmeshed and I'm the only one with tattoos, I feel like one of these kids is doing its own thing. And I like, want you to be on my team, you know? Like, you need to be covered in tattoos too.

• 4:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, definitely.

• 4:21Bunnie XO?

  Are you dating right now?

• 4:22Speaker 04

  I am actually um back with my baby daddy.

• 4:26Bunnie XO?

  Ah, we're gonna dive into this. I know. Okay, hence the tour name, right?

• 4:31Speaker 04

  Um, yes, yes. And we broke up for um a year and I was going through really, really insane postpartum and I I don't even think that I realized I was going through it until I kind of got out of it. Um, and we were already broken up and he just kept showing up and we became best friends and then uh through like custody and everything and working together and like a lot of therapy on my part. Um, we've we like restarted our communication, our like respect for each other.

• 5:08Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 5:08Speaker 04

  And um I just, I never stopped being in love with him. And then finally, he was just like, I wore the right set of underwear and just like locked in.

• 5:16Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 5:18Speaker 04

  And we're doing really, really well.

• 5:19Bunnie XO?

  I feel, I love that you're talking about postpartum though, because I feel like a lot of women in the spotlight, like you guys literally will have babies and then you're thrust back into the spotlight.

• 5:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:29Bunnie XO?

  And it's like you don't have time to heal. You don't have time to nurture yourself.

• 5:33Speaker 04

  No.

• 5:33Bunnie XO?

  And then the world wants to be mad at you if like you're not this picture perfect human that they've put you on this pedestal.

• 5:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's honestly like, it's kind of fucked up because I I really struggled to get pregnant um in a lot of different relationships. And now I know it's like God's timing is is not up to us and even our baby's timing is not up to us.

• 5:57Bunnie XO?

  Amen.

• 5:57Speaker 04

  And um I think that like the pandemic, everything was shut down and I was able to like rest. I sold my house in LA. I moved to New Mexico. I had donkeys and goats and I got pregnant. Um, and because I wasn't on the road, I didn't have all this pressure. Um, I ballooned up. I got so heavy and I got up to two hundred and eighty-four pounds uh the day that I delivered my son. And then um.

• 6:25Bunnie XO?

  It was happy weight, though.

• 6:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, I mean, it was, it was miserable weight.

• 6:30Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 6:30Speaker 04

  But it was also like, my body. He did what it had to do. And then it took me three years to lose baby weight. And the thing that made me so mad is like in this day and age, like, no one gives any credit for anything. I don't care how anybody lose weight. If somebody takes charge of their own life, not that anyone has to, because I've been every single size. But like, I worked really, really hard because I was so depressed. I started working three months after I had my son. I was back on the road and I was like trying to, I like already stopped breastfeeding. I was so stressed out. And then I just started working out to try and get my mind right because I was like

• 7:08Speaker 04

  blue. I was really sad, really miserable. And then my song with Miranda drunk, like, really went crazy during my pregnancy. So so many changes happened so quickly, so fast. And um, then, I don't know, I just like, you'd think, anything that I know about or had known about postpartum was like, oh, like you could like be kind of sad like for a couple of weeks, a couple of months after. And I'm like looking down and like it's two years after and like I'm getting ready to celebrate my son's second birthday. And I'm not with his dad and I'm like, I feel so lost. I tried a lot of different therapies.

• 7:48Speaker 04

  I tried like all kinds of like different psychedelic stuff. I tried talk therapy. I tried everything and ultimately I had to go through certain experiences on my own, some of which I didn't want to go through, but

• 8:02Bunnie XO?

  Like life experiences?

• 8:03Speaker 04

  Like life experiences, like, you know, I I'm already kind of, I don't want to say like I'm sick of talking about like what happened in January and the Dolly incident. Um, and I'm sure people are not gonna like what I have to say about a lot of it, but like, I can already look back and be like, you know what? I have this good thing that came from it. This thing changed in my life. This, I was presented with an opportunity to grow. And I think that every experience is an opportunity for change.

• 8:33Bunnie XO?

  Yes, ma'am.

• 8:33Speaker 04

  And change is inevitable. It's the blade that carves itself and or sharpens itself, whatever that quote is, and I really like that. Um, but like,

• 8:43Bunnie XO?

  When that Dolly incident happened, were you still going through postpartum? Was that part of it?

• 8:49Speaker 04

  Honestly, I don't, I think I'd kind of come out of postpartum and then everything that had accumulated, everything that I had just like sucked on to my life in my like depression, all just kind of came to a head. And I think it was probably just rock bottom, right? I just, if it wasn't that, it was gonna be something else. And I just took, for the first time, like, you know, when I was pregnant, like, I was like, okay, maybe I've got this time given to me. This was, this year was the first time I was like, I'm stepping, I'm stepping away from this. Everyone's telling me to kill myself. Everyone's telling me to surrender my child. And it was just so, so wrong.

• 9:34Speaker 04

  And, you know, if a man did it, it would have been a completely different story. But also, like, I've spoken to everybody and I've spoken to everyone at the Opry and they said that I'm not banned.

• 9:46Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, country is forgiving. They are really forgiving people.

• 9:50Speaker 04

  And the saddest part about it is like, and I don't even really want to use these words, but like, somebody is gonna get arrested. Somebody is gonna get something that happens and, you know, some people might say it's good for you, but like, for me, I'm like, that's sad. The biggest thing I learned was like, okay, take nothing that you read online for like, full-blown truth. Because everything, you never know, from my experience, especially what was going on then. I was going through some like, heavy, heavy, heavy shit. Not even postpartum, not even my breakup, not even just that.

• 10:28Bunnie XO?

  Can we touch on it?

• 10:30Speaker 04

  I mean, it was just, it was a dark situation that I can't, I can't talk about. And I don't really want to, but like-

• 10:37Bunnie XO?

  Like a relationship?

• 10:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was like, bad shit that was going on. And I've-

• 10:44Speaker 04

  Because of that, no one knew what was really going on and they just thought like, God forbid, somebody looks and thinks, wow, like, what was going on with her that day? You know, like, I, I played two shows that day. I played two fucking shows. The first show was great. It was perfect. But I hadn't eaten. I hadn't done anything. I hadn't slept in days. I was so, I had such bad anxiety and everything. And I just walked back on stage and I'd taken one shot too many. We went through that alleyway and went to Robert's Western World and a bunch of people were celebrating and I took, you know, one shot of tequila when I'd been drinking a martini and like, that, I was like the tiniest I'd ever been. And boom, I come to and like the curtains down and it sucks. It's awful.

• 11:30Speaker 05

  Attention all new and existing members of the W D N C. I'm Melanie Sanders and this is the We Do Not Care Club Podcast. We got to midlife and realized we just simply do not care much anymore. Now we gotta help each other make sense of hot flashes, dry coochie, chin hair, trifling families, brain fog, and bat wings. We are not alone and we will be heard. So come join the W D N C. Follow and listen to the We Do Not Care Club Podcast with Melanie Sanders wherever you get your podcasts.

• 12:00Speaker 04

  But at the same time, I went home and I was like, I'd never, I never want to cry like that in a car ride home. I never want to wake up feeling like that ever again. I never want to feel that shame. I never want to like, you know, any, anytime Dolly Parton calls you is cool, but like, I didn't want it to be under those circumstances. And like, but she called me to make me feel better, you know?

• 12:24Bunnie XO?

  She's a sweet angel of a woman.

• 12:26Speaker 04

  She's literally, she's like proof of angels. She truly is. And I, I think what that taught, like, I learned so much from this experience and like, if I can come out of it. Literally, anyone can. And I've had so many experiences like that. I hope I have less of them in the future.

• 12:47Bunnie XO?

  I'm with you, girl. I went through some shit this last week. I'm like, Lord, what are you trying to teach me?

• 12:54Speaker 04

  Come on, like my book of lessons is like getting kind of full.

• 12:57Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 12:57Speaker 04

  But I don't know. I, I, do you believe in like, um, like many lives?

• 13:03Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely. And I also believe in soul contracts. And I believe that.

• 13:06Speaker 04

  Me too.

• 13:06Bunnie XO?

  Oh, tell me, what do you believe? Let me know.

• 13:08Speaker 04

  Okay, so I, I believe, um, I did, okay, this is kind of wacky.

• 13:13Bunnie XO?

  No, I love it.

• 13:13Speaker 04

  I don't know if people believe in this stuff.

• 13:14Bunnie XO?

  No, we do.

• 13:15Speaker 04

  I'm so into it. I'm very spiritual. I'm very connected to spirit. I meditate. I've got guides.

• 13:21Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I love you.

• 13:22Speaker 04

  I studied with.

• 13:23Bunnie XO?

  Sister.

• 13:23Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 13:24Bunnie XO?

  Where have you been? They're all over here laughing because I, this is me.

• 13:27Speaker 04

  Okay, amazing. Okay, good. Then I'm, I'm, I'm.

• 13:29Bunnie XO?

  You found your, you found your coven.

• 13:31Speaker 04

  Okay, great. Stick. Um, I did this one reading, um, with a, with a woman and she was, it was called like a rose reading. I'd never done anything like that. And she went through some past lives. And because I'm clairvoyant and clairsentient, I also don't talk about this a lot, but I, I don't, I don't care. I have nothing to hide. And you are too?

• 13:50Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 13:50Speaker 04

  Okay, I believe that. And I, I feel like that's why we're like supposed to be connected. Um, I, it was like over the phone because it was during COVID. It was right before COVID when things were like starting to like get crazy. And, um, she was explaining a couple of my past lives and I could, I was like locked in with her and I could see her. Um, like I could see everything that she was seeing and I'm, everything lined up. And I asked her, I said, have I ever had a child in a past life? And she said, no. And, um, and so she said, you're going to have to make a soul contract with someone to bring like for this lifetime. And, um, I mean, I've even had like, like psychics. One time I was pregnant before I had a miscarriage and he was like, have you ever had a miscarriage?

• 14:35Speaker 04

  And I was like, no, not that I know of. Like boom, a week later I had like, I had a miscarriage and then the next pregnancy was missed. And, um, and so I think that I had to have a soul contract with.

• 14:48Speaker 04

  Either my baby, I don't know how all of it works,

• 14:51Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 14:51Speaker 04

  But I know that like my baby chose me and I know that he's like destined to be here. But to do that, like I'm so into healing and I'm all into like a lot of like spiritual stuff. So I felt like, it's true, I saw something online that was like, if you're ever feeling like called to a place, like you need to go.

• 15:08Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 15:09Speaker 04

  Cause there's something that has to happen there. I'd never been to Bali and I went, um, I went probably like, it was like in January and I had, um, had like two back to back miscarriages in, um, September and, uh, like, oh yeah, end of August and into September and was still on the road. Like three days after, like bleeding on stage, everything. So sad and doomy gloomy. I can, it's easier now.

• 15:37Bunnie XO?

  That's your childhood trauma is to push through any sort of pain and not sit in it.

• 15:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's because I don't, I can't, I can't. That's when I lose my mind.

• 15:47Bunnie XO?

  I don't want to wallow.

• 15:48Speaker 04

  No, no, I'm like, okay, what job can I do? Okay, what can I do? Like, let's make another album. Let's do something. And then I lose my mind because I'm not actually taking the time. My new thing I said, I got to feel it to heal it. And so that's what I did. That's why I took time this year. I know I'm bouncing all over the place, but.

• 16:04Bunnie XO?

  No, no, I love it and I'll draw you in.

• 16:06Speaker 04

  Okay, cool.

• 16:06Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 16:07Speaker 04

  Um, I went, I felt this like pull to Bali and I looked up this healing, uh, ceremony in the middle of the jungle and I dragged my best friend with me. And she was like, okay, and even though she's like into like metaphysical spiritual stuff. She was like, this is like a little much. And I'm like meeting with this healer and, um, she says to me, she was, I was like, you know, I had a miscarriage and like I really, all I want to be is a mother. And she said, um, well, it's, the soul is a boy and he'll come, he'll come back to you. And I said, what do I have to do? She said, you have to make a sacrifice. And I was like, uh, like quitting smoking? And she was like.

• 16:50Speaker 04

  Just looked at me and got up and walked away and then did this like crazy thing where they like whip you with fl- it was beautiful and like poured all this like gorgeous water all over you. And then you like scream and then they like paint like flowers all over you and they pray for you and it was beautiful. It was so incredible. And um, that year is when I got pregnant um, and I had a boy and it was just beautiful. I I believed it. There's something so I think important about just like what like your convictions are and what you believe in and and it it go- it's it's so simple. It's like the thoughts you tell yourself or the things that you say out loud. All of it is energy.

• 17:27Bunnie XO?

  Oh, words are spells.

• 17:28Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 17:28Bunnie XO?

  Yes, I tell everybody that.

• 17:30Speaker 04

  Everything that you like today I had a doctor's appointment and like I was really scared about it and I didn't even-

• 17:37Bunnie XO?

  Me too. I had one today too. What was yours about? Can we ask?

• 17:40Speaker 04

  I'll tell you after.

• 17:40Bunnie XO?

  Okay, okay.

• 17:41Speaker 04

  Um, but I didn't want, I didn't want to like put negative thing like I was, I was so freaked out about it that like I I refused to say like, it's not gonna be good. I just like, I'm nervous.

• 17:54Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 17:55Speaker 04

  And I felt like that was better. Um.

• 17:57Bunnie XO?

  I had one today too where I was finding out if I really had an aneurysm on my carotid artery.

• 18:02Speaker 04

  Oh, my gosh.

• 18:03Bunnie XO?

  I had just found out last week that I had one. Today I got the news that I didn't have one and I know exactly what you're saying because I I never when I prayed, I wasn't like, you know, God, please don't let me have this. I just said, whatever your will is.

• 18:17Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:17Bunnie XO?

  And let me know what the lesson is here.

• 18:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:19Bunnie XO?

  And I never, you know, and I get that. I understand when you're so scared, your first thing is, is you want to be like, no, please don't let the, you know?

• 18:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:26Bunnie XO?

  But I really was just like surrendered and it was my moment to actually learn how to have faith.

• 18:31Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 18:31Bunnie XO?

  And it it worked. And I'm telling you right now, if you don't speak those things into your life, not saying that it doesn't happen for everybody. But if you don't speak those things into your life, you can definitely, I feel, change the church-

• 18:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:44Bunnie XO?

  The energy or the trajectory of what's about to happen.

• 18:47Speaker 04

  Yes. And you can create that.

• 18:49Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely.

• 18:50Speaker 04

  That's like the whole thing about manifestation and which is something I learned about this year and I even just speaking it.

• 18:58Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 18:59Speaker 04

  Like I didn't realize what I was doing. Like when I took time off, when I was thinking like, oh, fuck, like. I could, I could go back to the world and I could have no fucking career. I could have no musical career. I could never play a show again. I could get dropped from my label, my management could drop me. And I started thinking, alright bitch, what do you want to fucking do? Like what would be cool? What would excite you? Cause I want to be, I'm a very passionate person, I'm a very hard worker. And I thought, wouldn't it be cool to play like a bad guy in a movie?

• 19:30Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 19:30Speaker 04

  You know, my dad's an actor and I don't, I don't really feel like I get a lot of the nepotism stuff. And I feel, I, it makes me sad for the people who do.

• 19:40Bunnie XO?

  That's one thing I've loved about you is that when I was researching your life story, you're a lot like me. I didn't come from, you know, very much, but I always wanted to pave my own way. And you were just like, I want to make my own way.

• 19:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 19:52Bunnie XO?

  I, I respect.

• 19:54Speaker 04

  I didn't really grow up with my dad. I grew up with my mom.

• 19:56Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, let's touch on that. Let's go back, let's go back and talk about that real quick. So you are a daughter of Rob Schneider.

• 20:03Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 20:03Bunnie XO?

  Daddy Schneider.

• 20:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:05Bunnie XO?

  And every time I say that, she blushes.

• 20:11Bunnie XO?

  And a beautiful Miss London King.

• 20:13Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 20:13Bunnie XO?

  You know, and who was like a supermodel, correct? And

• 20:17Speaker 04

  She's the coolest.

• 20:18Bunnie XO?

  You, you are her twin.

• 20:20Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 20:21Bunnie XO?

  Beautiful. You are her twin. I, I could see a little bit of your dad in you, but you are her, just, you know, reincarnated. Um, take me on this journey with your childhood because I don't think a lot of people don't know that your dad was not in your life growing up.

• 20:35Speaker 04

  He, he really wasn't and it's, it's interesting because like, yeah, I was born in California, but like my parents, they weren't married for very long. They didn't really know each other. And my mom had a son before me. My mom was a really, really young mom. My family comes from Southern Ohio, like very close to West Virginia. And it's a super small town. I think it's like 1800 people, which is like big for a small town. There's more than one stoplight.

• 21:03Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  Um, and it's a place that is and always has been my constant because my family moved around a lot. And my, my parents, yeah, they split and I

• 21:16Speaker 04

  I would spend time with my dad, but my mom raised me like always. My mom, single mom, until she met my stepdad, who also, he's my dad. Like, he, he totally raised me.

• 21:28Bunnie XO?

  Proud of the stepparents. I'm a stepparent.

• 21:30Speaker 04

  Yes, you are. And they're so important. And I, I don't, I definitely wouldn't be a musician if it weren't for my stepdad. And he taught me everything I know about music. I mean, I'm wearing, he's got his own label, Good Times Rock and Roll Club. I'm wearing his shirt. He's a screen printer. Yeah, definitely. They'll send you a whole care package and records and stuff.

• 21:52Bunnie XO?

  I would love that.

• 21:53Speaker 04

  And he's just like the most badass person ever. And my mom, my mom, I saw her reinvent herself like almost every 10 years because she was a fit model. She was a model. She did some acting. And, and then she, she became like a fitness instructor and she was like, helping, she was like really, really, really into health. And then when we moved to New York, when I was about 12 years old, we left Ohio because my stepdad's from New York. And my mom became a doula. And she like, like, my mom's pretty crunchy, but she's the coolest. Like, she encapsulated my placenta. And I'm,

• 22:33Bunnie XO?

  Okay, what is encapsulating placenta, just for people at home who don't know what that is?

• 22:36Speaker 04

  Okay, so the placenta is basically, it's like a filter, but it's also what gives all the nutrients and all the life from the uterus to the baby. And it's what's connected to the umbilical cord, from the baby to the mama. And so it's, sometimes they call it like the afterbirth, and it comes out after you have, after you give birth. And we are the only, I don't, I don't want fact checkers to come after me, but I'm gonna try my best. We're the only mammals that don't like instinctively or naturally eat our placenta or afterbirth, because it's, it's like so full of nutrients. So I don't know if anyone's ever seen like a dog or a cat give birth, but like, they, they eat it. They,

• 23:18Bunnie XO?

  They eat the membranes off the, the, their puppies and stuff. I've seen it, yeah.

• 23:23Speaker 04

  Yes, because it, it helps them. And so, some people say that, well, I mean, there's a lot of, of factual evidence behind it, but. I don't, I don't want like, super western medicine people to come after me about that. Cause I believe it.

• 23:36Bunnie XO?

  Everybody gives grace here.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay, great. Um, and so my mom cooks the placenta and then encapsulates it. And then, um, the woman or the mother slowly eats it over time. Um, just like a vitamin.

• 23:50Bunnie XO?

  What does it taste like? Anything?

• 23:51Speaker 04

  Um, well, Dan, my boyfriend, he ate a piece of my placenta. It was cooked, it was cooked. He was like, this is the closest I could be to a cannibal. So, uh, you know, it's like guys with neck tattoos who are funny. I don't know. What are you gonna do? They're wild.

• 24:06Bunnie XO?

  You're like, let's make another baby.

• 24:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, exactly. And, um, but it made me feel, it, like, when I took it, it made me feel like, kind of anxious. And, um, I don't know, I, I always feel like I'm like letting my mom down. Because she's this like, angel, angelic, like, she, I was a, a V back. So she had a, a C-section with my brother. And then she had a natural birth with me. And she said it was an orgasmic birth. There's a, there's a document.

• 24:35Bunnie XO?

  I love mom.

• 24:36Speaker 04

  I know. Oh my god, I know.

• 24:37Bunnie XO?

  I love mom. She's right up my alley.

• 24:40Speaker 04

  Yeah, she's wonderful. You guys would love each other. And she literally made me and Dan watch this documentary called Orgasmic Birth. And I was like, cool, mom.

• 24:51Bunnie XO?

  Tell me about this, uh, orgasmic births. I've never heard of this.

• 24:56Speaker 04

  Okay, okay, great. Neither had I. No, actually, I'd heard of it my whole life because my mom was like, I had an orgasmic birth with you. I was like, mom, stop telling people that.

• 25:08Bunnie XO?

  Words every kid wants to hear.

• 25:10Speaker 04

  Yes, but it, it was like, it's basically the whole like, idea of it. Um, from what I took from the documentary, I was like, yes, I'm not having that. That's not me. I was like, cut this puppy out. You kind of like get yourself into this state. And I was just watching that show Too Hot to Handle where they had energy orgasms.

• 25:28Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 25:28Speaker 04

  Okay?

• 25:29Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 25:29Speaker 04

  So, I, I don't think it's that far off from that. So you get yourself into this state of, of like, relaxation and you're connected with your partner. And then, I guess you have this, this like, Flush that's like orgasm, an orgasmic release of it's, I don't think it's like a sexual pleasure, but it watching that thing like, you know, you can learn a lot from reality TV. I can understand now how it could be this like orgasmic feeling of like, oh my gosh, combined with like, I did it and wow, my baby's here.

• 26:03Bunnie XO?

  Just pride and joy.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, like it makes me think like, do I want to try for like a VBAC if I have another kid? Like, I don't know. It's, there's a lot of things. Most likely if I were, I would be like, cut this fucker out. That's how I was in my pregnancy.

• 26:18Bunnie XO?

  I still think it's a beautiful thing to think about. So I mean, you know, if I'm scared to death of natural birth, that's why Jay and I are doing IVF and we're going to get a surrogate, but because I also have issues too. And I just, at this age, I don't have time for miscarriages and you know, stuff like that. So, but yeah, women who give birth, man, you guys are fucking savages, dude. Like that is the most barbarically beautiful thing that a woman can do. And I mean, you guys are literally just pushing a soul out of your body.

• 26:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's, it's pretty wild. I mean, I had a C-section. I freaked out on the table. I was screaming, I can't feel my legs. And I, I was screaming for that. I was like, I literally, like it's so me. They didn't even let my mom come up, but they, because it was during freaking COVID. And so I was like, give me, literally, give me drugs. Where is Dan? Screaming for him to come in there.

• 27:16Bunnie XO?

  Poor Dan's in a corner somewhere.

• 27:18Speaker 04

  What's going on babe? But it was, it was cool. I just, I feel like I, I won't do anything that my parents ever expect of me. And I felt kind of sad and I don't know, I'm just like a different person and I, I definitely have like a very different destiny. But I also thought like, because my pregnancy was so hard and intense, like. And before Dan and I got back together, I wanted another child and I asked my sister, I was like, because she's had three kids, she, she got her tubes tied, but she can still toad it.

• 27:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 27:50Speaker 04

  And I was like,

• 27:51Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 27:51Speaker 04

  I was like, hey, like, would you carry baby for me? Like, it wasn't even two seconds later, she's like, if you pay for a tummy tuck. It's like, that's good, like, that's, that's cool.

• 28:01Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 28:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, I was like, looking up like, you know, cryobanks and everything and um, I, I, I think that surrogacy is so beautiful and like, what a gift. I think any, I, I hate it when I see that people like, get anything negative about how they choose to be healthy, how they choose to welcome children into this world. It, it should only be, like, I've chilled, it should only ever be celebrated. Because again, to bring it back, like, you have no fucking idea what someone had to go through to even get to that point to make that decision.

• 28:38Bunnie XO?

  I just think we live in a world where it's like a fish tank and some days you're the fish that gets picked on. And it's like, they will zero in, like, when you went through the Dolly situation. I remember it broke my heart and I reached out to you because I was like, she doesn't fucking deserve this. I've met you, I've felt your energy. I'm like, she is the sweetest fucking soul. And that's why I reached out to you because I wanted you to know, like, you're not alone. But this online shit, man, it's bad. Like, it is um, mob mentality. And it's millions of people, mob mentality, that just have a fucking.

• 29:10Speaker 04

  Worse.

• 29:10Bunnie XO?

  It is. It is because there's no, there's no re- recourse.

• 29:14Speaker 04

  No.

• 29:14Bunnie XO?

  So if you say something, nothing happens, you know, like.

• 29:18Speaker 04

  I thought like, after all the stuff from like, early two thousands with like, the Perez Hiltons and all of that, just like, horrible, horrific bullying, like, and then I thought maybe like, okay, no more bullying is like a thing, like, no.

• 29:31Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 29:31Speaker 04

  And the saddest part about it, which is the only way that I can like, still have a fucking Instagram, it's like, okay, that person who's saying that is hurting.

• 29:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, well, you have to post and ghost. That's what I do now.

• 29:44Speaker 04

  I mean, yes.

• 29:45Bunnie XO?

  I had to learn that in the last six months.

• 29:47Speaker 04

  Yeah, you can't look at it, right?

• 29:48Bunnie XO?

  Nope. I just and I'll I'll look at the first five and then I leave it alone for a few days when I'm feeling a little bit stronger and then I'll go back in and if there's some by that time I'm by that time I'm over that's that post and it doesn't mean anything so I'll just delete or block you know if I need to but yeah I just post and ghost and it was it's been the blessing for my mental health dude

• 30:07Speaker 04

  you have to because I mean like most days I'm like I don't want to do Instagram

• 30:11Bunnie XO?

  yeah

• 30:12Speaker 04

  and I used to love it I used to love it because I actually interact with my fans and then

• 30:16Bunnie XO?

  same

• 30:17Speaker 04

  some some people would comment like hey you're getting like a hundred and fifty really kind things and you're only interacting with the person who said something mean

• 30:27Bunnie XO?

  I get that too

• 30:28Speaker 04

  and it's weird cuz like you know what that's fucking true that's so true why but and then people they want that they want to fight it's so weird

• 30:37Bunnie XO?

  you can't win you cannot win it doesn't matter and they're always wittier for some reason they will come back and say some of the craziest shit and you're just like son of a bitch you know

• 30:47Speaker 04

  really wild I just I just go straight for like the your mom jokes

• 30:50Bunnie XO?

  yeah me too I do that I'll that's my whole thing like they'll be like you're such a whore and I'll be like that's not what your dad said about your mom or you know like I'll say something like fucking funny

• 30:59Speaker 04

  I said like that's not what your mom said last night like okay so stupid it's like cuz it's stupid

• 31:04Bunnie XO?

  yeah no seriously so let's circle back to your childhood so you grew up in Ohio and I think a lot of people were like when you did and we'll get into your album and stuff like your albums and stuff like that but when you did cross over into country did you get any kind of pushback because people were like oh you're not country but really you are you grew up in a rural part of Ohio

• 31:24Speaker 04

  yeah I I didn't actually get any pushback I think um I think because I connected with country fans and the the biggest the biggest pushback was that okay when I would get really drunk like if anyone were to ever meet my brother and see us together like we say the billy comes out like my hillbilly comes out and so when I'm drunk like I like become this like rootin' tootin' fucking you know hillbilly

• 31:55Bunnie XO?

  Yosemite Sam

• 31:56Speaker 04

  yes yeah and um but No one ever takes the time to find out where someone's from. No one ever takes the time to find out. It's like, all they see is like, she was born in LA, her dad's Rob Schneider, she's like, it's like, God forbid you find out they're like, I'm also Filipino and my family is hillbilly as fuck, in a nice way, you know?

• 32:17Bunnie XO?

  Who's Filipino?

• 32:20Speaker 04

  Two very like, different, I spent a lot of time with my, my dad's mom, my grandmother. She's from, she's from Manila and I had a really large, uh, like Filipino family in Northern California. And so my dad would always be working, but my grandmother, she would fly at like sixty something years old, she would fly from San Francisco to Columbus, Ohio, pick me up at like four or five years old, fly me back to San Francisco to spend a weekend with me. Fly me back to Columbus and then she would fly back to San Francisco. And like, that's grandmother love right there. And she taught me a lot about family values. I love Filipino culture. I love Filipino food. Yeah, it's so good.

• 33:03Speaker 04

  And, and so I had that and then I had this like, very like, super American Midwest, like, country. Um, family life in Ohio, but I was like a rebel. Like, I got kicked out of school in second grade. I was always in trouble. I was like friends with all the bad kids.

• 33:21Bunnie XO?

  Where do you think that rebellious streak came from? Do you think it was from your father's absence?

• 33:26Speaker 04

  No, uh, you know, it could have had a lot of, a lot of that. I think, um, now that I'm a mom, like, if I, if I hear of something with a child that is acting out, my first thought is, what need, what needs are not being met of the child? Not, oh, that's a problem kid. Oh, that kid is, is a fuck up. And I was labeled as a really bad kid, but honestly, like, I, I didn't have like a massive amount of structure. My mom was a hustler. My mom was working. She was, she always had three jobs. She was always traveling. My mom would go back and forth to Hong Kong. So we'd spend a lot of time with my grandparents in Southern Ohio and,

• 34:08Bunnie XO?

  Mama and Papa?

• 34:09Speaker 04

  Mama and Papa, yeah.

• 34:11Bunnie XO?

  I did my research.

• 34:11Speaker 04

  Yes. And, um, and so, I, I don't know. And then when I would, if I would ever spend a summer with my dad, it would be on a movie set and I, I would just get lost in the shuffle. And,

• 34:26Bunnie XO?

  Did you ever feel like you guys? Could connect, or it was just more of like-

• 34:30Speaker 04

  Not till I was much, much older.

• 34:32Bunnie XO?

  I feel like, and this is not an excuse for dads at all, but I feel like dads have a hard time relating to younger kids.

• 34:41Speaker 04

  I, I think.

• 34:43Bunnie XO?

  Not all of them.

• 34:44Speaker 04

  It's hard. I think dads who make the choice to connect with their kids.

• 34:49Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 34:50Speaker 04

  Do. And my dad and my relationship is like a, a real big ebb and flow. Like right now, we're not flowing. I disagree with a lot of the things that he says. And it, he is just, I don't know, you want, you can want someone to change so much. And ultimately, like, all you can, you can't control anyone else's actions. You can't control people's feelings. All you can control is how you react and what you do with your feelings.

• 35:18Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely.

• 35:18Speaker 04

  And sometimes I fucking boil up and I boil over and I fucking bust my lid. I'm trying so hard to not be that way because-

• 35:29Bunnie XO?

  I feel like that's how I'm wired the same way. And my dad and I actually have the same, had, he just passed away in May. It's, it's okay. Um, he and I had the same type of relationship where I, I felt like I was always the one to tell my, to give it to my dad. You know, because nobody else did, but I was always the one that was there to be like, no, you're wrong. No, you need to change this. No. And even in the end, it just, it never got through.

• 35:53Speaker 04

  And you try every different angle. I would try letters. I would try soft. I would try yelling. It's just like, well, see, look, you're yelling, you're yelling, or like, you can't even stick up for yourself. It's like, what? Like, it's, it's psychotic. And I mean-

• 36:08Bunnie XO?

  It's that, that generation of men, for some reason, they're so fucking toxic and they're cool being toxic.

• 36:14Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:14Bunnie XO?

  They don't, it's everybody else's fault.

• 36:16Speaker 04

  Everyone else is the problem because they're like, perfect and they're right. And they're not-

• 36:21Bunnie XO?

  And they're like so smooth in their delivery too. You're just like-

• 36:23Speaker 04

  It's like, oh, there's some fucking emotion. Yeah, that is sick. You are wrong for that. It's so fucking weird. And like, ultimately, it made me a very strong person. But I'm also an extremely anxious person too. And-

• 36:38Bunnie XO?

  You grew up with OCD, correct?

• 36:40Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 36:40Bunnie XO?

  When did that start? Like, when did you start realizing like, hey, I have an issue here with this? Cause I'm OCD myself.

• 36:46Speaker 04

  Okay, well, I have, I, I, my OCD comes out in like very mild Tourette's. Um, and I, I twitch constantly and, oh my gosh, I'm like so embarrassed about it. It really, it makes me mad because people are like, she's tweaking online. It's like, motherfucker, like, I used to be fucking tweaking and nobody said shit then. Then now I'm fucking sober and now my Tourette's are fucking coming out. Cause I'm not even taking like medications for it. Cause I'm just trying to like, come into my womanhood and like be myself. And it's like, my hands twitch and it's, it's so that my facial tics don't go crazy. But um, my OCD, I was diagnosed when I was like in sixth grade.

• 37:28Speaker 04

  Cause I had this whole like number thing and this touching thing. I had to touch everything with two fingers, like really intense stuff. And I was like a compulsive eater. So, and that was like something that my, the peop- a lot of people in my family had like big issues with. And it's like,

• 37:45Bunnie XO?

  Well, it's gotta be hard, you know, cause your mom was a supermodel. And I'm sure your mom probably dealt with her own issues with eating too. Because being in that industry, there's no way that you can't.

• 37:53Speaker 04

  Cutthroat, so cutthroat. And she had to stay a size six consistently, or she would not get it, not get work.

• 38:00Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 38:00Speaker 04

  But my mom, see, my mom spun it in a way where she took her struggles and all the pressures that she felt her whole life. And she spun it into always telling me to love myself. And like she had a chubby daughter. Cause I, I felt like, like both of my parents had their like obsessions with eating. I'm probably getting so much over talking about this, but like, I don't care. My mom will be proud.

• 38:22Bunnie XO?

  I, I was gonna say, I think that people need to hear this because not enough people do talk about it. You know, my husband struggles with the same thing and he's very open about it. And I think that there's a large number of kids that need to hear this too.

• 38:34Speaker 04

  It's hard. It's so hard. And like, you think about, you know, all the, the things that someone could get addicted to. And ultimately, like, one, I've been addicted to all of them. Two, it's, it's really like, it started with food for me and compulsive eating because it was like where I found comfort.

• 38:54Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 38:55Speaker 04

  And both of my grandmothers, they were, you know, like, They were huggable. They were heavier women and but they had so much trauma that they grew up with. And like my grandmother saw her freaking brother get beheaded in the war in the Philippines. So she would eat and she would feed me, you know, she would feed me like lots of food. And then my grandmother like.

• 39:18Bunnie XO?

  And it's also a love language too.

• 39:20Speaker 04

  One hundred percent. My grandmother in Ohio, my mom all like she could cook like nobody's business. And she would just like, baby, you want more, you want, let me feed you. And it was just so good. And I would put uh, sweet cream corn on top of my mashed potatoes. And that's what, that's what I would eat. That's literally still to this day, my comfort food.

• 39:37Bunnie XO?

  Sounds so good.

• 39:38Speaker 04

  It's so delicious.

• 39:39Bunnie XO?

  So good.

• 39:40Speaker 04

  But like, maybe not good for you, but I guess subjective, right? And so I was like a really, really heavy child. My dad sent me to fat camp. I mean, yeah, it was, it was rough. And then I got in trouble one year because I, I sprained my ankle and I didn't lose any weight. So it's like very toxic and very silly and like.

• 39:59Bunnie XO?

  It's gotta be, how old were you when you got sent to the fat camp? Is it okay to call it a fat camp?

• 40:06Speaker 04

  Hey, I, I called it that and that's what I went to.

• 40:08Bunnie XO?

  I just wanna make sure I don't insult anybody because I feel so bad, you know, weight camp.

• 40:12Speaker 04

  Awful, but like it's the, the F word, it, the F word is like, is so triggering for me.

• 40:17Bunnie XO?

  I'm, and for me too, because of my husband and I, it, it's so, and I've seen the effects of that word on people. And it's so hurtful. And so I never, you know, I just wanna make sure.

• 40:26Speaker 04

  It's so awful, but like that's where he sent me to. I remember him like.

• 40:30Bunnie XO?

  How old were you?

• 40:30Speaker 04

  I was, I went two summers in a row. I was eleven and twelve. It's like, um.

• 40:34Bunnie XO?

  What do they do in these camps?

• 40:36Speaker 04

  They, they literally like, you get like a slice of turkey and like steamed vegetables for like every meal. And they make you work out all day long.

• 40:46Bunnie XO?

  That's not healthy though.

• 40:47Speaker 04

  No, and.

• 40:48Bunnie XO?

  You need way more calories than that to make your.

• 40:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, and also you need fucking therapy. Like you need to talk about it.

• 40:55Bunnie XO?

  There it is.

• 40:55Speaker 04

  And you need to figure out like what is.

• 40:57Bunnie XO?

  There's no therapy in those?

• 40:59Speaker 04

  I never, I never had therapy. Like they did things that were like it adults went there too. And like, I think some people saw results. Um, I

• 41:07Bunnie XO?

  Because they were starting themselves.

• 41:09Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, it, it wasn't, it wasn't. And there was a lot of other Stars kids who went there. So that was sad. And I mean,

• 41:17Bunnie XO?

  That's gotta be traumatizing. That has to, that probably had to start your, your um, anger towards your father too.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. One hundred percent. But like, it got to a point where like, I never, I didn't want to spend a summer with him. And like when I got, I got kicked out of almost every school I went to. I got kicked out of when the first school that I, I went to in New York City was a, a school called York Prep. And I don't know, I was, I was probably, I was, I, I refused to wear the uniform. I would like yell back at teachers and, and it was, I just, I always had problems with authority.

• 41:51Bunnie XO?

  Me too. That was my, I got kicked out of every school I went to too.

• 41:53Speaker 04

  See?

• 41:53Bunnie XO?

  I get it.

• 41:54Speaker 04

  But it's just, we're not dumb.

• 41:56Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 41:56Speaker 04

  We don't have a lack of intelligence. We probably just learn a different way than any kind of box structure that most people can, you know, function in a one size fits all.

• 42:07Bunnie XO?

  I think us as children, types of the types of women that we are, we also learned at a very young age that we were surrounded by people we did not want to be like. I've been needing new glasses forever and it's just one of those things I keep putting off. So I finally went on Zenni to pick out a new pair. I'm going with these black rectangle glasses that are really similar to the ones I already wear because listen, I know what I like. They're classic, they go with everything and I'm excited to get them. Zenni has frames starting from under thirty dollars and I love that you can use their virtual try on to see what different frames look like before you order. You just find a pair you love, enter your prescription, customize your lenses and they'll ship them right to your door.

• 42:46Bunnie XO?

  Zenni is truly the easiest way to shop for stylish prescription glasses without the headache backed by over a hundred and fifty thousand five star reviews. Check new glasses off your list today with Zenni. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off plus free shipping over sixty five dollars. Style sellout, so don't wait. That's Z E N N I I.com/podcast promo code podcast 15 zinni.com/podcast code podcast 15. Today's episode is brought to you by Vinted. Y'all know how it goes. You open your closet and have a million things hanging up, but somehow still feel like you have nothing to wear. That's me. And let's be

• 43:29Bunnie XO?

  real, half that stuff hasn't been touched in forever. Instead of letting all those clothes just sit there taking up space, you might as well make a little money off of them. If you haven't used it yet, Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app that makes it so simple to sell the quality clothes you no longer wear and discover unique pieces at great prices. And the best part, you don't have to make a whole project out of selling your clothes. Listing your clothes on Vinted is quick and simple. And once something sells, Vinted creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So you don't have to worry about that part. Best of all, there are no seller fees, which means you actually keep every single dollar you earn from your sales. So instead of letting all those clothes collect dust, Vinted gives you a way to clear out some

• 44:13Bunnie XO?

  space, make a little extra money, and maybe even find something new to love. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees. So you keep everything you earn. Yeah. I know that my family, I was just, I looked around at everybody and I'm like, you toxic motherfuckers. Not saying I wasn't, but I was just like, man, I am here to break a cycle. Yes. And I think that's, even though we didn't know that's what we were doing at such a young age, we're like rebels without a cause. But really, we did have a cause. We were sent here to shake shit up and break some chains. Yeah. Even if it hurts, because unfortunately, we're also strong enough to be able to handle and

• 44:51Bunnie XO?

  carry that burden of hurt. Because in some like dark, twisted knife way, like it will continue to push us. And I mean, I believe it that God never gives us anything that we can't handle. And sometimes it feels like, are you sure? Yeah, last week, that's how I felt. I was like, you, me, we good? Like, what's happening? Yeah. But I don't know, I think that now that I'm like, less destructive, I can see, I can see the blessings and the lessons in things much sooner. And I mean, like literally as these words are like leaving my mouth, I'm like, listen to. That bitch like listen to it.

• 45:36Bunnie XO?

  Yes, no, and when you're in it, it is so hard and I, I trust me, I get it. I, like I said, I just went through it and it, but it is like amazing what the mind can do because what the mind believes, the body will follow. And I always tell people that and words are spells and like, it doesn't matter what you say. If you say, you know, like, I feel like I'm gonna die like that. And I have a problem saying stuff like that. Like when I don't feel good, I'll be like, I feel like I'm gonna die. And then I have to correct myself and be like, no, no, no, I don't mean that. You know, like you have to really be careful with what you say and what you put in the world.

• 46:06Speaker 04

  Definitely.

• 46:07Bunnie XO?

  Um, so going back, so you had said that you did not want to, you got to a point where you stopped wanting to go and spend summers with your dad.

• 46:13Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, like he was filming this one, like prison movie in like Stockton, California in a prison.

• 46:21Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. I was gonna say, there's not very many.

• 46:23Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 46:24Bunnie XO?

  Cool hang spots in Stockton. Shout out the Diaz brothers.

• 46:28Speaker 04

  I had already started getting tattooed and it was like a hundred and eight degrees, uh, like every single day. So I was having to wear sweaters because my dad was like very anti tattoos or like any form of self-expression that differed from what he wanted for me. Not that he ever even thought about me, but.

• 46:45Bunnie XO?

  You're killing my fantasy of Rob here.

• 46:47Speaker 04

  I'm so sorry.

• 46:47Bunnie XO?

  It's over. It's done. It's over with. I'm T M L all day.

• 46:52Speaker 04

  Oh, I'm so sorry.

• 46:53Bunnie XO?

  I'm T M L all day.

• 46:54Speaker 04

  But, um, yeah, I just like, I would get in so much trouble and now like a massive part, like of like, I guess little, little tees that have turned into massive paranoia, paranormal, wait, paranoia.

• 47:10Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 47:10Speaker 04

  What's paranormal?

• 47:11Bunnie XO?

  I don't know. I was gonna say, is that like ghosts or something?

• 47:13Speaker 04

  I don't know, but like it'd be a ghoul, like.

• 47:15Bunnie XO?

  Paranormal.

• 47:16Speaker 04

  A ghoul dog name. I like spend one day in this like witchy house. It's cool.

• 47:23Speaker 04

  And I don't remember what I was talking about.

• 47:24Bunnie XO?

  Oh, dad, you had to wear sweaters covering the tattoos.

• 47:28Speaker 04

  And so like, I didn't want to be, oh, okay, my little teeth. So I would get in so much trouble. If I ever, oh my gosh, if I ever messed up a shot or if I ever was like, it like an arm in the camera or like if I ever was talking, like I would get in fucking trouble. And like I spent, you know, I'm really putting shit out there right now, but like my dad forgot about every single birthday. Like I spent my eighteenth birthday in a summer school, um, like class with like Algebra One. And because if I didn't take it, I wouldn't graduate and they brought me cupcakes and I came home. My dad forgot my birthday.

• 48:09Speaker 04

  Um, it's okay. I read, I read an entire, yeah, it's totally hurtful, but like, you know what?

• 48:14Bunnie XO?

  That shapes and molds you.

• 48:16Speaker 04

  I put every, I put every ounce of my being into my son's birthday. Like every birthday, even for my friends, like every birthday, because I know how it feels to be forgotten on your birthday. And that's so sad. It's like, come on, it's, it's my one fucking day. It's my one day.

• 48:33Bunnie XO?

  Give me that.

• 48:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, give me that. And, uh, and so like I stopped wanting to go and then I got kicked out of school in New York in sixth or seventh grade. And my mom was like, I am done with her. Um, I was being bad. I got my tongue pierced. My mom walked in on me and, and a boy and she was like, she's.

• 48:55Bunnie XO?

  Mom's losing her shit.

• 48:56Speaker 04

  Yes. And my mom is tough. My mom like, she doesn't give up on me ever, but my mom was like, she's fucking your problem. And he was like, what do you want me to do with her? And he was going to Amsterdam. So I was fourteen. And he took me to Amsterdam and he.

• 49:10Bunnie XO?

  Oh no.

• 49:14Speaker 04

  My dad hired this, um, a twenty-one-year-old, sweet, sweet, she was an Indian young woman. She was a virgin and her name was Aman and she was like, she was lovely. And every single day I'd say, let's go to the flower markets and, and I would be like, oh yeah, wow, look at those tulips. And then I would dip back behind, I'd like watch her freak out looking for me and I'd go straight to the red light district. I still to this day roll the best joints ever. Um, but like I wanted culture. I wanted to see things and I didn't want. Every single day I would ditch the nanny and she didn't want to lose her job. So she never told my dad. So I basically just spent however many months we were there in Amsterdam.

• 49:59Speaker 04

  I had, I mean, I would go to like my, my homeschool like teacher. I was like, I don't even, I was learning some Dutch and French or something, but like, I never paid attention. I can always distract somebody. Like I had this one tutor, I'd be like, oh, you're into Dungeons and Dragons? That's cool. Like, I don't really want to learn about like, science, man. And, um, and then, you know, like one time we went to, anytime, uh, my dad would like have me on a trip. He would like forget that he had me. And so he, I, I know, I know. Cause he, he's not a great planner.

• 50:31Bunnie XO?

  And Is that, that's the least of his worries.

• 50:34Speaker 04

  Yeah. And, and so he took, he took me to Russia and with him.

• 50:38Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no.

• 50:39Speaker 04

  I was probably eighteen. Actually, but the thing is like, I refuse to like waste a trip.

• 50:46Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 50:46Speaker 04

  So

• 50:47Bunnie XO?

  I love that even at such a young age, you were like, motherfucker, I'm here to live.

• 50:51Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:51Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 50:52Speaker 04

  We were in Russia and he was like in a basement, like getting ready to do some TV show. He had two security guards and I was like, hey, hey, we're in Moscow. Like, I'm not sitting in this basement TV studio. I was like, um, I'm gonna go out. And he would always just be like, like, reading something like, whatever, take, take one of the security guards with you. I was like, great. So this like beautiful Russian, like, tuxedo fucking wearing, like, young handsome security guard. I was like, what do you do in Moscow? And he's like, do you like to ride rides? And I was like, I fucking love rides. Takes me to an amusement park, rides all the fucking rides with me.

• 51:29Speaker 04

  Is in like photo booth pictures with me. Takes me to get like the big Russian hat. And then, like, I, I had, I had started to lose some of my like teenage weight. And, um, I, he was staying with like this very, my, my dad was like there for this like really rich lady. And she let me buy this like La Perla gown and like heels because they had some fashion show. And I was like, I'm such a tomboy. I don't know how to walk in heels. And there was like 25 steps down from this party. And the guy was like, Nikolai. He picked me up, walks me down the steps, opens the limo with me in his arms and like sets me down. And I was like, yeah, thank you. Thank you.

• 52:13Bunnie XO?

  So like, did, did you and Nikolai ever hook up?

• 52:15Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no, no. But, you know, I, I think of him fondly.

• 52:21Speaker 04

  It's just like, that was like my bodyguard moment.

• 52:23Bunnie XO?

  What's baby daddy's name? Dan, you're not listening.

• 52:25Speaker 04

  Dan, yeah.

• 52:25Bunnie XO?

  Dan, you're not listening right now.

• 52:26Speaker 04

  We're never going to Russia together.

• 52:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:31Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. Fucking Dan. Dan's like, we're never going to Russia, babe.

• 52:35Speaker 04

  Damn it.

• 52:36Bunnie XO?

  Damn it, Nikolai.

• 52:37Speaker 04

  Tell him that Nikolai story.

• 52:38Bunnie XO?

  That or he's gonna be like, next time we have sex, call me Nikolai.

• 52:41Speaker 04

  Okay, I love that. I love that. Babe, babe, just pick me up.

• 52:44Bunnie XO?

  I love that. So circling back, though, you did say that your stepfather influenced your trajectory into music. Take me on that journey.

• 52:52Speaker 04

  So my stepdad, his name is Justin, and he, he met my mom. He was the lead singer in this rock and roll band in Columbus called Bob City. Amazing rock and roll. And my mom started dating him and her best friend was dating somebody else in the band. And so

• 53:12Bunnie XO?

  We love band boys around here.

• 53:13Speaker 04

  Yes, yes. And I just had like rock and roll people all around me. And he, he still to this day has the best record collection I've ever seen. And like, he, he came into our lives when I was like, I don't know, maybe six, six or seven. And I remember being like so young and like, he didn't care, sticky fingered kids and all, just like, he would let me go through all the records and he'd be like, you like that? Listen to this. Like my, my, some of my earliest memories of like singing along to music is like, my first like time singing like into a hairbrush in the mirror is like Captain and Tenille, Love Will Keep Us Together. It's because he had all these records. And he would just, he would say, like,

• 53:55Speaker 04

  he still makes like new music Friday playlists that he like sends out to all of his friends because he just has the coolest taste in music. And he just shaped me. And so when we moved to New York,

• 54:08Speaker 04

  my mom always had me, like, you always have to have some kind of extracurricular. Because she, I think she knew like academics were not gonna be my, you know, the foot that I lead with.

• 54:19Bunnie XO?

  So I always I love that, the foot that I lead with.

• 54:22Speaker 04

  Yeah. So I would, like, I was taking violin at four years old or I, you know, anytime I wanted to quit something, she'd be like, you can quit it, but you have to replace it something. I tried ice skating, like ice sports, not my thing. Summer, like water stuff, that's me. But frozen stuff, no. And or like piano vocal lessons. And when we moved to New York, his best friend and one of his bandmates, Yokeem, super talented guitar player. He taught me how to play guitar and it was just kind of on from there. And the way he taught me, it was just like, he's like, I can't teach you how to read music, but I can teach you how to play all your favorite songs and I could help you like learn how to sing along to it. And that's how, because I, I think also because I studied Suzuki, which is an ear training method

• 55:05Speaker 04

  on violin, I think I'm more attuned to stringed instruments. So I can kind of pick up like almost, you know, like a guitar, a bass, a violin, a mandolin, banjo, anything and kind of find my way around it.

• 55:21Bunnie XO?

  That's a talent, not everybody can do that.

• 55:22Speaker 04

  Jack of all trades, master of none, but that's fine. Yeah. It's okay. I can.

• 55:27Bunnie XO?

  I feel like she's like my soul sister, like everything. It's so crazy. Um, I, it's a talent though, because I actually was taught how to read music. So I can read music, but I can't, if I hear something, I can't play it. So I've always been envious of people who can do that. I think that's such a beautiful thing.

• 55:45Speaker 04

  Well, maybe we have to start a band.

• 55:47Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I'll do it. I'll do it. And then we'll go on tour with Daddy Roll.

• 55:50Speaker 04

  Yes, yes. I mean, listen, I had fun on that tour. I loved it. It was great. And you know what? Oh, my gosh. When I saw you guys at Stagecoach, like, he came like during the show, came over and like gave me a big hug, like, but that's, that's like, that's who Jelly Roll is.

• 56:08Bunnie XO?

  We love Elle, man. You're just a little light, you know, you remind me of like fairy energy and don't take that the wrong way.

• 56:16Speaker 04

  No, I don't. In one of my past lives, she was like, you were fey and like the beginning times of earth.

• 56:20Bunnie XO?

  Ah, I love that. No, you do. You just have this twinkle about you and it doesn't matter what you're going through. It's like you are always just trying to make everybody happy around you. And I just love that about you.

• 56:31Speaker 04

  I, I feel like I was like, I saw a lot of things back in Hollywood where like, You didn't get in trouble for how you treated people. And I, I, I'll never forget, like, seeing how, like, after someone got yelled at, for instance, how that made someone feel.

• 56:51Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 56:52Speaker 04

  And I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm sure there's a lot of people who have worked for me would be like, she's a fucking bitch. And I, I am not a perfect person. I have grown a lot and I've eaten shelves of humble pie. But I, I really do believe, especially just for like where I'm at now, everything that has brought me to here. It's like, all I can control is like, my reaction, and I've been a very reactive person my whole life. But if I continue to put out what I hope to receive, then I, I can feel the path of my life and the trajectory of my joy going to where I hope it lands. And that's just like, waking up, making choices. I, I look at my son Lucky and I say,

• 57:38Speaker 04

  we're choosing kindness today, buddy.

• 57:40Bunnie XO?

  I love his name.

• 57:41Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 57:42Bunnie XO?

  So cute.

• 57:42Speaker 04

  We got lucky with him, so.

• 57:44Bunnie XO?

  I love that. And I think as unforgiving as the world feels, they love to see growth. And I think them just hearing this podcast is going to change their entire perception of you.

• 57:54Speaker 04

  Well, thank you for giving me the opportunity and like, I'm obsessed with you.

• 57:58Bunnie XO?

  Oh, girl, you come here anytime, baby. You can sit on my couch every year. I do not care. I always have space for you.

• 58:04Speaker 04

  We have to, we have to see the evolution of growth.

• 58:06Bunnie XO?

  We really do.

• 58:07Speaker 04

  So see you next year.

• 58:07Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, seriously. So take me on this journey to, of your first album that you dropped in 2015. Like, how do, what were the steps that led up to that? Cause not everybody can just get an album and a record deal and all that stuff.

• 58:19Speaker 04

  No, it, it's pretty crazy. I, I mean, I've been playing shows since I was like 15 years old and my mom was always super, super supportive. And like, she would help me sneak into bars. She knew that I had a fake ID and like, she, I, I had a talent for it and like, I had, I was, I started writing songs at like 14 years old and, and then, once I started playing the banjo, it was like, it was different. Like, I, I kinda stood out. And so. I was playing country songs in New York and I was getting like residencies at like eighteen nineteen years old and then um this a manager found out about me and I had already left New York was

• 59:03Speaker 04

  living in LA losing my mind going kind of crazy like LA is not for me.

• 59:09Bunnie XO?

  I I always find that fascinating because it's like most people who grew up in New York can't handle LA and most people who grew up in LA can't handle New York. I grew up in Vegas and LA so when I go to New York I'm like overstimulated.

• 59:21Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, it can be a lot like I don't I I romanticize about like New York and I I really love going back to visit now because my mom's my mom and dad my stepdad still live there and my son loves going to New York so it's always like a really fun time now um I I just don't I got very accustomed to having like acreage even if it's five you know like I have to have a four wheeler right now I'm like I cruise around the neighborhood I don't have acreage but we're we're buying another house and um I love four wheelers and golf carts and like I have a tractor in my east Nashville like yard.

• 1:00:01Bunnie XO?

  Come out this way.

• 1:00:02Speaker 04

  You know what I we're looking it's and it's like uh twenty minutes away from here.

• 1:00:06Bunnie XO?

  Yay.

• 1:00:07Speaker 04

  So it's it's really, really beautiful. I just mama needs a pool.

• 1:00:10Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:00:11Speaker 04

  I got to swim.

• 1:00:12Bunnie XO?

  Yes ma'am.

• 1:00:13Speaker 04

  And um so I.

• 1:00:17Bunnie XO?

  We were talking about that you getting your you know.

• 1:00:19Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah, okay.

• 1:00:20Bunnie XO?

  Album music journey.

• 1:00:21Speaker 04

  I I moved to LA and um I just like was always playing shows I didn't I wasn't signed nothing and um then this manager.

• 1:00:30Bunnie XO?

  Did your dad ever try to help you not to cut you off?

• 1:00:32Speaker 04

  No, no, no, no, no.

• 1:00:34Bunnie XO?

  You didn't want his help.

• 1:00:34Speaker 04

  There's been no and honestly I I I didn't talk to my dad. I go for like four or five years without talking to my dad so I got signed I released my album everything honestly when I put out my record and people finally started asking about my dad my dad called me and was like don't fucking talk about me in the press like alright okay great but also it's like get fucked um I don't care like hey listen people have asked me about your fucking ass for years and I'm like you're you're talking out your ass and you're you're talking shit about about. Drag and and fucking, you know, anti-gay rights and it's like, get fucked.

• 1:01:13Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no, I never heard that.

• 1:01:14Speaker 04

  Well, he's he's just talking out his ass and I I want to use this opportunity to say, I disagree. I do not agree with what he says.

• 1:01:21Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:01:21Speaker 04

  I believe in all forms of love and I just believe in anyone finding their happiness and their joy in whatever way, whatever capacity that is. There are no politics when it comes to love.

• 1:01:32Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely.

• 1:01:32Speaker 04

  That's it. Um, and so, yeah, I wasn't, he never helped me. I never wanted his help. He also didn't have a very good reputation, so I didn't want, that was really it. It wasn't, it wasn't even like, a lot of like, I've got to pave my own way. I was like, I don't want to be associated with him. And I'm gonna get in trouble for saying that, but I don't care.

• 1:01:50Bunnie XO?

  Good reputation as in like, working with him?

• 1:01:53Speaker 04

  He's just not, not nice.

• 1:01:56Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:01:57Speaker 04

  He's not nice. And, um, and so, and I wanted to be nice. I, my whole thing is like, I always want people to want to work with me again. And not everyone can say that because I'm not perfect.

• 1:02:06Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:02:07Speaker 04

  And like, I've fucked up a lot, like.

• 1:02:09Bunnie XO?

  We all learn and we all grow.

• 1:02:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, but I, but my label hasn't dropped me and I, okay. So, I went in, it was, it was Christmas of probably 2014. I was maybe 22 years old. And I go into an empty office and it was before Sony bought EMI. And this, uh, this guy named Jake Otman, I, I just went in with my banjo and I played a song called, um, Good To Be A Man. And, um, he signed me right on the spot, so I got a publishing deal. He sent that song to Peter Edge, who's the chairman of RCA. And I'd been kind of talking to some labels and everyone was sort of like dicking me around. And RCA was like the first, I mean, mind you, they had Elvis and they had so many bands that like, I really loved.

• 1:02:53Speaker 04

  And, um, they were like, always like, full, steady, like, always consistent. Never made me feel like they were dicking me around or anything or like weirdly courting me. They were just cool and great and I felt like they truly believed in me.

• 1:03:08Bunnie XO?

  Which is rare for a record label.

• 1:03:09Speaker 04

  Yes, which is very rare. And like, even though I found out that like, men were getting 10 million dollar deals, I, I, I didn't get a lot of money from. Mine, but I felt like they believed in me and my first album had great success.

• 1:03:22Bunnie XO?

  It was a great album.

• 1:03:24Speaker 04

  Thank you. X's and O's was awesome and.

• 1:03:25Bunnie XO?

  Ain't nobody's baby.

• 1:03:29Bunnie XO?

  That was my shit, girl. That and Mean was my. Mean is a great song.

• 1:03:34Speaker 04

  Thank you so much.

• 1:03:35Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 1:03:36Speaker 04

  Well, I, I, I, I'm trying to get back to that whole aspect of like just writing, I don't know, it's, it's hard. Who, I, I think it was Bob Dylan. I don't know who said it, but you have your whole life to write your first album and then a year to write your next one. And um, it's just strange. And I got like a lot of nominations on that first album. I topped a lot of charts and, and then I kept going and like it's, it makes me uncomfortable to say, but I'm also very proud to like, I've broken a lot of records. And as like, you know, I think back to like. Chubby me, like Ellie, like at fat camp, like, and people always saying like you're, you know, you're not gonna ever do anything. It's like, um.

• 1:04:21Bunnie XO?

  You did it on your own too.

• 1:04:23Speaker 04

  Yes, I did. Eat it. Eat it up.

• 1:04:25Bunnie XO?

  Suck it while it's soft.

• 1:04:26Speaker 04

  Yes. And I'm very proud and like I want my son to know that and like, sometimes I think about like, at what age do I like tell my son like. Son, like, don't Google me. Cause stuff will come up, but.

• 1:04:41Bunnie XO?

  A mom that speaks her mind and doesn't take shit.

• 1:04:44Speaker 04

  I don't know.

• 1:04:45Bunnie XO?

  That's respectable to me. I don't have a problem with a woman who stands her ground.

• 1:04:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:49Bunnie XO?

  Granted, there's a couple of situations that, you know, you've owned up to and. But just because your mistakes happen online and in front of people, doesn't mean that other people aren't making similar mistakes behind.

• 1:05:02Speaker 04

  They just aren't on a fucking grand.

• 1:05:05Bunnie XO?

  Exactly, exactly.

• 1:05:06Speaker 04

  But America loves a comeback story and I will say, if I didn't come back out the gate swinging and like with my shit together and putting on like. Great shows, I put a lot of effort, energy and money into like this, I have an opportunity. I have an opportunity to show that I've grown. That I am better than ever, that like, that is not, that might be one. Like my mess ups are, they are part of me and and they are part of ultimately, I feel like I I learned more. I always say like expensive lessons are like the best to learn. Cause like, ooh, I can't afford to make that one again. And and so like they're a part of me, you know, yeah, but like I can kind of look back and laugh.

• 1:05:48Speaker 04

  And just be like, wow, that was like, that was so crazy. And it wasn't even that long ago that I was like, I don't want to wake up. I don't want to fucking be here. Like, I don't, I should, maybe the world is better, maybe it is better off without me. And like to think like, now I'm like, wow, that was pretty crazy. I was like, oof, probably should have eaten that day, you know, and it I I feel, I feel like it's very much behind me and I feel so distanced from it. And I feel like I'm happier.

• 1:06:14Bunnie XO?

  Same person.

• 1:06:15Speaker 04

  I'm not.

• 1:06:15Bunnie XO?

  And if Dolly can forgive you, the world can forgive you.

• 1:06:18Speaker 04

  Totally. And I, but I also think that like, there's such a massive part of that, that like, helped me get to this like point where I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm not putting as much pressure on, I was like, I had so much pressure that I was putting on myself to like lose all my baby weight. And like, I was like, just, I was going crazy. I was losing my mind. And now I'm like, you know what? I think I'm okay. I don't need to meet anybody's standards but mine. I'm healthier than I've ever been.

• 1:06:49Bunnie XO?

  You look beautiful.

• 1:06:50Speaker 04

  Thank you. My brain is good. I'm like, I'm taking like healthy medication. There's nothing wrong with antidepressants. In fact, they're great for you.

• 1:07:00Bunnie XO?

  Did you, so did you are on medication? Did you, were you taking it for your postpartum or did postpartum pause you to get on them?

• 1:07:07Speaker 04

  I was refusing to take any antidepressants because I felt like there's all these weird things. I don't know if it's OCD or just like obsessive thinking, but like I I really like, I didn't want to get on it. I don't know if maybe part of it was like, I don't want to gain weight. I don't want to be sleepy. I don't want to feel like I can't create. Cause I've, I've tried to take a lot of like antidepressants before my life. And sometimes they made me feel like I couldn't create or anything, but I also thought that I had to be like high off my fucking mind to like make a record in a month in the studio with my friends. It's like, that's actually like not conducive and it's not good for like anyone.

• 1:07:50Speaker 04

  And you're a mom now. And so I I finally was like, all right. I reached this point of, give me anything that will make me not feel sad. Give me anything that will make me feel more confident and less anxious. Because I don't want to feel like this. And I, I got to it and I figured it out and like, I take any presents and I feel great and like, I feel happy and I, I don't know, it, I just think that like,

• 1:08:17Bunnie XO?

  There's nothing wrong.

• 1:08:18Speaker 04

  No, there's nothing, there's nothing wrong with that at all. In fact, I'm like, you should take therapy and if you might need medication, you should take it. But I also like, I love eastern medicine. I love acupuncture. I think a massage goes a long fucking way. Talk therapy is incredible, even on the computer, you know? And like, I just, like where I'm at now, I'm like, tell me what to do. And when it used to be like, I don't want to fucking hear it. Now like, what works? Like, you know, like throw this noodle at this wall and if it sticks, like, I'll take it. Like, that's good. You know, I just want to be happy. And I've learned that like, if I can be the best person for me, that act, that actually makes me a better mother for my son. Cause I can't be doing any of this for anybody else.

• 1:09:03Speaker 04

  I have to do it for me because then I can be firm, steady and grounded. And then that like, when my cup is full, that's when I can give to other people. And I've just noticed that I could be so much more present and I can, I can just be, I don't know, I wasn't such a bitch to Dan and he was like, he started to soften and like,

• 1:09:24Bunnie XO?

  Let's talk about Dan and Lucky. Let's talk about that area of your life.

• 1:09:27Speaker 04

  Oh, I love them so much.

• 1:09:30Bunnie XO?

  I see you light up. I see you light up when you talk about them, your stepfather and your mom. You just get this like twinkle in your eye.

• 1:09:36Speaker 04

  Family's so important to me and sometimes it's your chosen family, you know?

• 1:09:39Speaker 01

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• 1:10:09Bunnie XO?

  Amen. I got my chosen family. Jay, Bailey, those are my chosen family. Like, I just, I don't know what I would do without them, you know?

• 1:10:16Speaker 04

  They're like, they just become like our sturdy rock. And I think I was, I've been really selfish a lot, a lot in my life, because I'm such a hard, hard worker. But I didn't want to make a lot of the same mistakes that I grew up seeing. And, um, and so, like, again, like, this thing that happened, like, in January, like, it just, it just changed me. And I, I've, I faced a lot of stuff from my childhood that, like, I felt like I could put to bed. And now I'm starting to, I'm, I've been, like, given this opportunity to, like, meet me where I'm at now and start working on these issues in my, like, adult life and, like, all my unhealthy things. And, like, you know, you're only as sick as your secrets, right?

• 1:10:59Speaker 04

  And so, I'm, like, you have to tell on yourself and you have to be honest and truthful. And like I said before, like, I started to treat Dan how I would just hope that he would treat me. Because we were, you know, fighting pretty bad and, um, neither of us, you can't be heard if you're not listening. And so, our communication was really not in a great way. We, we were, like, speaking different languages. And it was all rooted from a place of fear and all rooted from a place of hurt.

• 1:11:33Bunnie XO?

  Right person, wrong time.

• 1:11:35Speaker 04

  Yeah. And, um, and then, once we started to, like, hey, you can't talk, like, we can't talk to each other like this. Like, this is not okay. Lucky can't be around this. And, um, we just started to respect each other. And I, I think maybe there is some of that missing even in our prior relationship. And so, this doesn't feel like we got back together. He, he kept saying, like, it's a new relationship, babe. Like, we have to take it slow. And I was like, let's get fucking married. Let's get married right now. And he's like, I want to take it slow. Like, we owe it to ourselves. And I'm listening to him. And like, I want him to be, you know, like, I want him to feel like a man and a strong man. And I think as someone who's a performer

• 1:12:20Speaker 04

  and someone who's like, you know, I don't really can like think of myself as like a famous person, but I I am, you know?

• 1:12:27Bunnie XO?

  And you've earned it. You've worked your ass off, babe.

• 1:12:29Speaker 04

  But I I know that it it can it can be like an emasculating thing to date like or be partnered with someone who's like a strong female, especially one like I've got a reputation. It's like, oh, she's a badass and she fucking can really go toe to toe with the boys. And like, while that's all true, I also I want to be like a soft feminine like wife and like loving partner and also have someone love me. Yes, love me for both. And he does. And I need to love him and I need to celebrate his masculine and I also need to totally celebrate my favorite part, which is his soft, silly, sweet, because our

• 1:13:11Speaker 04

  our like funny neck tattooed guys are usually the sweetest teddy bears.

• 1:13:16Bunnie XO?

  Yes, absolutely.

• 1:13:18Speaker 04

  And that's what we love because we're tough ass chicks, right?

• 1:13:21Bunnie XO?

  Well, I had to learn that with Jay, you know, because I came into the situation with just so much baggage. And I mean, I was like a fucking just a like a just a force to be reckoned with. And I came in and I just was so used to emasculating every man that I had ever been with. I make the money. Don't fuck, you know, don't I'm gonna fight, you know? And I finally, we I don't think it's said enough as couples, especially when you are having communication issues, to be able to sit down and look at each other and say, hey, we can't talk to each other like that. That changes everything. And my husband and I had to sit down and do that. And we've had the best relationship since. Communication is key. Comprehension is vital. And it's like you literally have to be in you are fighting

• 1:14:05Bunnie XO?

  dragons with this person every day. That is your fucking teammate, your fucking co-conspirator. Like you guys are literally slaying this thing called life together. And you guys have to be on the same page. If not, that ship's not going to sail.

• 1:14:18Speaker 04

  And it's a choice. I've struggled with like. Okay, how do people get married? Like, what is it? How do you like really know? And like, do you just pick? Do you just choose? Because that's where like when you're, when you're just talking about that, I'm like hanging on everywhere. Cause like, you know, I, I think, I, I don't think Dan would be upset from like with me saying like, you know, we're doing couples therapy and like we're trying everything.

• 1:14:40Bunnie XO?

  Jay and I have done so much therapy. I just had a therapy appointment before you came in here.

• 1:14:45Speaker 04

  But that's beautiful. And like, it's, it makes your bond stronger and like, honestly, we, I asked him, it was like such divine timing. This, this therapist who basically like kicked us out. Because I asked if he would go to couples therapy with me and we had gotten into like a big fight.

• 1:15:07Bunnie XO?

  That happened to Jay and I.

• 1:15:08Speaker 04

  Cause he liked this booty girl on Instagram and I was mad. And so we walked in, we sat like, there could have been an ocean between us and we were fighting and she was like, I don't think that I can continue to see you guys, blah, blah. And it was not great. But then she emailed me and we weren't, we weren't together, but we were like in a really great flow of things. And she was like, hi, I just wanted to let you know that like, I'm starting to take new patients again. And I didn't know where you guys were at in your journey. And I was like, oh, wow, we're actually doing really, really well. And I asked him, I was like, hey, like, do you think you'd like, wanna like go to like couples therapy? And he was like,

• 1:15:49Speaker 04

  yeah. And I said, like, just as friends, like, just so we can help, like, our communication. He was like, yeah, I think I would like that a lot. And then like a week later, we were like, back together.

• 1:16:00Bunnie XO?

  And all you guys needed was a conversation, like a conversation of, of two people actually wanting to listen to each other can change so much.

• 1:16:09Speaker 04

  And it's, it's really, really crazy what happens when you put down the receipts and you put down the swords and you don't yell and you just like, take a second and like, that's not my strong suit. It is not my strong suit. I'm, I was made to fight. I grew up in a yelling family. That's just how we communicated. And it wasn't even like, nobody wins in that. Not even the loudest person. Everyone just is like in fight or flight and shaking with adrenaline.

• 1:16:40Bunnie XO?

  Looking like Ren and Stimpy.

• 1:16:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's crazy. It's not good. And I think we both like grew grew up with a lot of that because that's no one told anybody. No one told anyone that's wrong until recently. Now everyone tells you that you're wrong for anything that you do.

• 1:16:55Bunnie XO?

  Oh, yeah, yeah. And sometimes I'm I'm kind of like, all right, enough.

• 1:16:58Speaker 04

  Yes, yes, of course.

• 1:17:00Bunnie XO?

  But definitely the speaking softer to each other. We don't yell in our house. I think I've yelled at our daughter one time and she really deserved it. Yeah, like I just, we don't, because I grew up in a screaming household also. So I can't, if you start yelling at me, I'm automatically shutting you out.

• 1:17:15Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:17:15Bunnie XO?

  Like, I can't listen to it.

• 1:17:16Speaker 04

  And but also, if you think about it, like even going back to like, not toxic people, but like, you know who does win an argument? The calmest motherfucker.

• 1:17:26Bunnie XO?

  Mm hmm. Because they'll piss you off even more.

• 1:17:28Speaker 04

  Yeah, because they'll get you like, I'm like, what the fuck do you do? You know, like any like teacher, like I just think about like principals who are like, talk like this, I'm like, you fucking asshole.

• 1:17:37Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:37Speaker 04

  But like, that's how like I want to be. But I also, I want to be the mom.

• 1:17:41Bunnie XO?

  To get to that.

• 1:17:42Speaker 04

  Yes, and I'm not there. I'm like peeling the layer back. I'm like, maybe level one.

• 1:17:46Bunnie XO?

  I'm don't start none, won't be none.

• 1:17:48Speaker 04

  Okay. Oh, I like that. I like that. I just want to be the mom that like my son comes to no matter what. If he gets arrested, God forbid. I mean, I'll let him, I'll let him sit. I'll I'll keep that tradition in my family. My mom said, you get arrested, I'll let you sit in there. But I've never been arrested.

• 1:18:03Bunnie XO?

  Yay.

• 1:18:04Speaker 04

  I know, shocker. It's good.

• 1:18:05Bunnie XO?

  That is awesome. I've been arrested, so that's crazy. How have you never gotten arrested?

• 1:18:11Speaker 04

  I know, I know. I've been handcuffed twice, but like I'm very smooth with my words.

• 1:18:14Bunnie XO?

  I love that. My husband's the same way.

• 1:18:17Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:18:17Bunnie XO?

  He can get out of handcuffs at any time. I'm like, you motherfucker, dude.

• 1:18:21Speaker 04

  He's very charming.

• 1:18:22Bunnie XO?

  He is. He is so fucking charming. I'm like, I hate you. He can get out of speeding tickets. I get them all. It doesn't matter. And you would think it would be opposite because they always say, oh, cops could let pretty girls off. I'm not saying I'm pretty, but you know, just saying, just saying that it's like a myth, you know? And no, my husband gets off on every ticket. They fucking stick it to me every. Fucking time, man.

• 1:18:41Speaker 04

  I only got one speeding ticket, also shocker, I know. And it was in my hometown.

• 1:18:46Bunnie XO?

  I get why they gave it to you, though.

• 1:18:47Speaker 04

  I know, she goes, I know who you are.

• 1:18:49Bunnie XO?

  Oh, it was a she.

• 1:18:50Speaker 04

  But I still have to give you this ticket. I was like, damn it. And then she came to the show. She even commented, because I like took a video, because I was like, man, I never get pulled over. And I took a video of like, uh oh. She commented on it. She was like, I was wanting to get a ticket, but we loved your show, me and my girls. I was like, come on, this is like eighty-five dollars.

• 1:19:06Bunnie XO?

  I love that. That is so funny. So what what's happening now with L? You you are on your redemption tour, your baby. What's the what's it called? Baby, ask the baby?

• 1:19:15Speaker 04

  Baby Daddy's Weekend Tour.

• 1:19:16Bunnie XO?

  Baby Daddy's Weekend Tour.

• 1:19:17Speaker 04

  And I am just playing lots of music. I'm about to finish finish my album. I have a lot of music coming out. I'm really, really excited about it. And it's it's I always say like, this album is the most me, but like, I think anything that I'm working on is like where I'm at in my life. And I'm very proud of the music that I'm making. And I started making a lot of it before I like had a nervous breakdown this year. And it's bringing me back to life, just like creating again and like having these like seeds planted and then making this beautiful album. So it's definitely going to be a little different than my last three albums, but I don't think that

• 1:20:02Speaker 04

  even though all my records have sound, they all sound like me. I don't think any of them have sounded like exactly the same, but like my music is a representation of where I'm at in my life and.

• 1:20:12Bunnie XO?

  What what is it more like? Is it country? Is it rock?

• 1:20:15Speaker 04

  Yeah, it's definitely a country album. But it's really beautiful and it's it's what country is to me and everything that I've kind of learned in the country world. And I feel like these are going to be the songs, like I don't play every song from every album at every show. But there's a lot of songs on this album that like I'll play for the rest of my life. And that makes me really proud and excited. And I'm also sitting on an album that I made when I was pregnant before I went to country. And I'm like drunk and I don't want to go home. I wrote eight years before. ever came out and so that that song taught me so much about the life of music.

• 1:20:56Speaker 04

  And so I'm also sitting on an album that's like really, really incredible and I'm just waiting for the right time for that to come out because it's probably, you know, the best album I've ever made and

• 1:21:06Bunnie XO?

  Drop that shit.

• 1:21:07Speaker 04

  I know, I know.

• 1:21:08Bunnie XO?

  What are we waiting for?

• 1:21:09Speaker 04

  I don't know. I I think after this this big um that big eclipse, right?

• 1:21:15Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:15Speaker 04

  Everything is supposed to be like all the seeds that we planted. I don't know if it's the same for every star sign.

• 1:21:20Bunnie XO?

  Hmm.

• 1:21:20Speaker 04

  Um, but like a lot of things are coming to fruition from like the last eight years and um, and so everything that I've been really, really working on is all coming to a head in a good way. And I think it's the same, if you believe in that and if you believe in yourself and and if you are manifesting these good things that you're putting out in the universe, it makes so much sense if you're into, you know, astrology or astronomy or anything like that, like how all this stuff can be coming, even even the crazy lessons that like I've learned this year, like I feel like all these things are leading me to these manifestations of things that I've been maybe too afraid to try. And like when I was thinking about doing uh like, wouldn't it be cool, man, to be a bad guy in a movie?

• 1:22:05Speaker 04

  I did a movie. I just did like my first like actual like really, really cool movie. And it's all things like you just have to try and continue to put yourself out there and like it's not the first movie that I've ever done, but this is the first time that like I really prepared. I worked so hard to get it.

• 1:22:21Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:22:21Speaker 04

  And like all these things that all these good things that are like, hey, wouldn't that be cool? And just thinking about it and like putting it out and like dreaming about it, like that's manifesting. That's pulling it. That's inviting it. And I always say

• 1:22:34Bunnie XO?

  Visualizing that it's already yours.

• 1:22:35Speaker 04

  Yes. And I say you have to make room in your life for greatness and like you have to clear things out. You have to like cut things off and that's how like, you know, like you have to clip like buds on roses sometimes, but that's how more I'm not a great gardener, but I do have some roses.

• 1:22:52Bunnie XO?

  That's been on, I'm manifesting to learn how to fucking garden.

• 1:22:55Speaker 04

  It's hard.

• 1:22:55Bunnie XO?

  I want, I know.

• 1:22:56Speaker 04

  It's really hard.

• 1:22:57Bunnie XO?

  I can't even fucking save a sunflower from the grocery store.

• 1:23:00Speaker 04

  Listen.

• 1:23:00Bunnie XO?

  I've tried twice.

• 1:23:01Speaker 04

  I, I've tried to like mulch and put, I'm trying to like, cause what, like the, your house is a representation of your mind, right?

• 1:23:09Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:23:10Speaker 04

  So I was like, my house looks like shit. So I tried to garden and now all the grass is growing up through the mulch and it's like, oh my gosh.

• 1:23:17Bunnie XO?

  Well, that's why you need landscapers.

• 1:23:18Speaker 04

  It's so hard.

• 1:23:19Bunnie XO?

  You gotta have, you have to have people help you.

• 1:23:21Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:23:21Bunnie XO?

  You gotta let people help you.

• 1:23:22Speaker 04

  I'm really trying to fight this stubbornness.

• 1:23:23Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, you got, you can't do it all, Elle.

• 1:23:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:23:25Bunnie XO?

  I think your lesson this year is you can't do it all, baby.

• 1:23:28Speaker 04

  Ask for help, Elle.

• 1:23:29Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, allow people to help you, baby. You need just, get a fucking landscaper, okay? It'll make you feel better.

• 1:23:35Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:23:36Bunnie XO?

  Elle, thank you so much for this conversation. It was so sweet and I can't wait to have you back and I can't wait to see this tour. I can't wait for people to hear this podcast. I really feel it's, it's gonna touch a lot of their hearts and they get to just see a glimpse inside of you and I just, I love it.

• 1:23:52Speaker 04

  You're so beautiful and you spread so much amazing positivity and I just, I appreciate you. Thank you for having me on. I love you so much, Bunny. You're, you're amazing.

• 1:23:59Bunnie XO?

  We're gonna make out after this.

• 1:24:02Bunnie XO?

  Don't tell Dan.

• 1:24:03Speaker 04

  Don't tell Dan.

• 1:24:04Bunnie XO?

  Don't tell Dan.

• 1:24:04Speaker 04

  But I won't tell my mom.

• 1:24:05Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, shout out mom, shout out mom, we love you. Thank you guys for tuning into another episode of Done Blonde. I'll see you guys next week. Bye.

• 1:24:16Bunnie XO?

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• 1:24:59Bunnie XO?

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