Pod Insights Dumb Blonde Ask, Tell, Confess: Why Was the Cucumber Wet at Zaxby’s About this episode Buckle up, babes. The Coven is back with another absolutely unhinged episode of Ask, Tell, Confess. From cucumber-and-condom mysteries at Zaxby’s to revenge marriages, OnlyFans love stories, public hookup confessions, and a pool prank gone horribly wrong… this one spirals FAST.
The Coven reacts to wild listener stories, chaotic relationship drama, embarrassing bedroom disasters, and the kind of no-filter conversations you can only get on ATC. Equal parts hilarious, shocking, and way too relatable.
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:01 Bunnie XO? Ask, Tell, Confess.
0:17 Bunnie XO? Hello friends, welcome to another Ask, Tell, Confess.
0:35 Speaker 01 I sent a video in the chat the other day. Do you remember Winnie the Pooh and there's the beaver?
0:40 Speaker 02 There's a beaver and Winnie? Nope, don't, no.
0:42 Speaker 01 That's literally Bunny.
0:44 Bunnie XO? I love him.
0:45 Speaker 02 In Winnie the Pooh or?
0:46 Speaker 01 In Winnie the Pooh.
0:47 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
0:48 Speaker 01 There was a beaver. It is literally Bunny.
0:50 Bunnie XO? Yeah. Ah, how's everybody doing? We're all wearing our shirts from Jason today.
0:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, you guys saw the last episode?
0:57 Bunnie XO? Yep.
0:59 Speaker 01 Yep.
1:00 Bunnie XO? How are you guys doing? You guys got some confessions for us to read today?
1:04 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:04 Bunnie XO? Oh, you guys got some good ones. You've been starting off the past two episodes.
1:07 Speaker 01 I brought a video to the table.
1:09 Bunnie XO? Oh.
1:10 Speaker 01 Can you turn the TV on for me?
1:12 Bunnie XO? Scared.
1:13 Speaker 01 Uh oh. In my friend chat the other day.
1:16 Bunnie XO? Friend chat?
1:18 Speaker 01 Dustin and Amy.
1:18 Bunnie XO? Okay.
1:19 Speaker 01 They went to, so they come over every week and mow our lawn. They have a lawn care service. And they left our house and we're like, we're gonna go to lunch, right?
1:33 Speaker 01 I have to show you guys what they found.
1:34 Bunnie XO? Okay.
1:35 Speaker 01 I made her send me a video.
1:37 Speaker 03 Eat the beef, smell the queef.
1:43 Speaker 04 Look on this bad boy.
1:46 Speaker 04 Look at it.
1:47 Bunnie XO? What is that?
1:48 Speaker 04 A cucumber with a condom over it?
1:54 Speaker 01 Someone was getting down in the Zaxby's.
1:57 Bunnie XO? What was that used for?
1:59 Speaker 02 In the butt.
2:00 Speaker 01 You think in the butt?
2:01 Speaker 02 For sure.
2:01 Bunnie XO? It's curved.
2:02 Speaker 02 But they're at Zaxby's.
2:04 Speaker 04 That's a nice, that's a
2:05 Speaker 05 Nice cucumber.
2:07 Bunnie XO? That is a, it's.
2:08 Speaker 01 Look at it in comparison to Dustin's foot, though. That's the length of his foot.
2:12 Bunnie XO? That looks like a squash.
2:14 Speaker 01 Oh.
2:15 Bunnie XO? Are we sure that's a cucumber?
2:16 Speaker 05 It'd be a zucchini.
2:17 Bunnie XO? Yeah, like a zucchini.
2:18 Speaker 01 The zucchini.
2:20 Speaker 05 I don't know, but it's girthy.
2:21 Bunnie XO? Golly.
2:22 Speaker 05 That'd hurt.
2:23 Bunnie XO? I, I wonder where that thing's been. We could only ponder.
2:27 Speaker 05 I don't know.
2:27 Speaker 01 Yeah, it looks all lubed up, too. It's very wet.
2:30 Bunnie XO? Ugh. What's on the inside? Why is it all white?
2:33 Speaker 05 Condensation.
2:34 Speaker 01 She said there's something in it.
2:35 Bunnie XO? Ew, dude.
2:37 Speaker 01 Do you think that the condom was used when they put it on the cucumber?
2:42 Speaker 05 I mean, look at the tip.
2:43 Bunnie XO? Listen, people have way too much fucking time on their hands, man.
2:46 Speaker 01 I don't know. I'm not a fan of Zaxby's enough to want to put something in my butt.
2:50 Bunnie XO? Somebody film some OF.
2:51 Speaker 05 Zaxby's is great.
2:52 Bunnie XO? Somebody probably filmed some OF content.
2:55 Speaker 01 You like Zaxby's that much?
2:58 Speaker 05 I mean, not to take a fucking cucumber up my ass.
3:02 Bunnie XO? She's like, but I'll do some tricks for some fucking chicken fingers. The fucking Nashville hot chicken fingers. I just saw their damn commercial the other day. Last night, actually.
3:13 Speaker 05 Actually, no, they took away their club sandwich, which I hope Zaxby's hears this. And I've never been back since.
3:20 Bunnie XO? Oh.
3:22 Speaker 01 It pissed me off when they got rid of the birthday cake shake and tried to come back with it, and it was not the birthday cake shake. You're a fucking liar. Pissed me off.
3:30 Speaker 05 Pissed me off, yeah.
3:31 Speaker 01 I was pregnant with, I think, cash. When that one came out and it had like a chocolate frosting on it. Damn it, that was good.
3:41 Bunnie XO? I've, just, I'll take a shake any day. I'm friggin'.
3:45 Speaker 05 Shake does sound.
3:46 Bunnie XO? I wish I could have a shake.
3:48 Speaker 01 I feel like I'd throw up if I had a shake right now.
3:50 Speaker 05 Oh, yeah.
3:52 Bunnie XO? What you got, Haley? You've been fucking waiting to give us the tea. Y'all know I'm always doing something to the house, and lately I've been working on our outdoor space. I'd been looking for something to pull the patio together when I found the Hardigan black and white outdoor rug on Wayfair. Once I put it down, I loved how the clean, modern, geometric pattern completely pulled the space together without having to redo everything. Plus, it's stain and water.
4:16 Speaker 05 Resistant, pet friendly, and you can literally hose it off when it gets sturdy. Wayfair has something for every style and budget, and with customer photos and more than 20 million verified five-star reviews, it makes finding the right piece so much easier. If your outdoor space feels unfinished, a good outdoor rug is definitely something I'd recommend. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com.
4:48 Speaker 04 Wayfair, every style, every home.
4:51 Bunnie XO? Attention all new and existing members of the W D N C. I'm Melanie Sanders, and this is the We Do Not Care Club Podcast. We got to midlife and realized we just simply do not care much anymore. Now, we gotta help each other make sense of hot flashes, dry coochie, chin hair, trifling families, brain fog, and bat wings. We are not alone, and we will be heard. So come join the W D N C. Follow and listen to the We Do Not Care Club Podcast with Melanie Sanders wherever you get your podcasts.
5:21 Speaker 05 It, may or may not go along with this.
5:24 Bunnie XO? Oh.
5:24 Speaker 05 Uh, in high school, in my FFA class, I overheard these two boys who were sitting beside me and talking about whenever they get drunk, they stick pears up each other's butts.
5:36 Bunnie XO? What?
5:37 Speaker 05 I interrupted their convo and asked if I heard what they said correctly, and they said yes. They acted like it was normal and no big deal. I then asked, I'm not gonna judge or anything, but like, are y'all gay? And one of the boys said no, and that he had a girlfriend. Another question I asked was, how do you not get caught doing that? And the boy that had a girlfriend, his response was, we just wait till my mom leaves the house. I was in shock and disgusted, and they just kept saying, we are drunk when we do it. It's not a big deal. I obviously had other thoughts and questions in my mind, but I was already too disturbed to really say anything else.
6:11 Bunnie XO? So dude's having a hard time accepting the fact that he might be bi. If you're waiting till your mom leaves the house, you know you're doing something wrong. So.
6:22 Speaker 05 Why a pear?
6:23 Speaker 01 That's a very soft fruit.
6:24 Bunnie XO? Soft, it's fucking round and bulbous dude. Whose asshole is that big?
6:29 Speaker 05 Which end?
6:30 Speaker 01 You gotta start on the small end.
6:32 Speaker 05 I hope they start on.
6:33 Bunnie XO? Hmm, I don't know, man.
6:35 Speaker 05 Why a pear? Start with a pear.
6:37 Speaker 01 Have you ever stuck something inside of you?
6:39 Bunnie XO? Why not a dick at this point?
6:41 Speaker 01 To go inside of you?
6:42 Bunnie XO? Dick is probably a lot more comfortable than a fucking pear.
6:44 Speaker 05 They probably think that is gay.
6:46 Bunnie XO? Yeah, that's crossing the line.
6:49 Speaker 05 That's crossing the line.
6:50 Speaker 01 Pear, not gay. Dick, gay.
6:53 Bunnie XO? Having your best friend shove a pear up your ass is not gay, but hey, we only wait till our mom leaves, so. Yeah, well. That's crazy too, yeah.
7:06 Bunnie XO? Alright, well, thanks. Thanks Haley.
7:08 Speaker 05 You're welcome.
7:09 Bunnie XO? Oh, my turn. My turn, my turn. So around seven weeks ago, I saw a TikTok of a girl and her cat. I was instantly, to say the least, attracted to her. To cut a long story short, she's an OnlyFans girl, so I got myself an account and followed her. We've been talking daily ever since and we seem to have such a beautiful mutual connection and I'm happy to see it flourish. She knows I have a partner and father to two stepdaughters and we have a 20 year age gap, which we are both comfortable with. I absolutely adore the bones of this girl and it scares the shit out of me.
7:50 Bunnie XO? What do I do?
7:52 Speaker 05 He has a partner?
7:54 Bunnie XO? He has a partner and two little girls who call him stepdad, so.
7:57 Speaker 05 Okay, so what also? What do we need to help?
8:01 Speaker 01 She's being nice to you because you're paying her.
8:03 Bunnie XO? Exactly.
8:04 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's like going to the strip club and being like, she loves me dude.
8:09 Speaker 02 Like, sorry, that's what it sounds like. If you guys are talking like off the app, off the OnlyFans thing, I get what you're saying.
8:14 Bunnie XO? No, but if there's any, if you're, even if you're talking off the app and you're still giving her any sort of monetary compensation, that is the only reason she's talking to you. Take away the money and. See and listen, I'm not trying to be a hater because girl, get your bag. You know what I'm saying? But at the same time, it's like, let's call a spade a spade. I was one of those girls. I had so many sugar daddies that I took money from and literally had a man that was my man sleeping next to me.
8:41 Speaker 01 Yes.
8:42 Bunnie XO? I would have my ex-boyfriends call my sugar daddies and pull licks with me, you know, so.
8:48 Speaker 02 Now, how often would they fall in love with you like?
8:51 Bunnie XO? Sugar daddies?
8:52 Speaker 02 Yeah.
8:52 Bunnie XO? Um, it depended on how long. I had quite a few old, older rich men fall in love with me that wanted to marry me, but I just could never do that. But this girl for sure is taking him for a ride. And the 20 year age gap kind of concerns me because you have two stepdaughters.
9:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:09 Bunnie XO? How old are they?
9:10 Speaker 01 Yeah. How old is the girl you're talking to?
9:13 Bunnie XO? Yeah. How old is the girl you're talking to? Like, you know, the grass always seems greener, but I promise you it's not, dude.
9:21 Speaker 01 No.
9:21 Bunnie XO? Like, it's not worth it. Yeah. And you're, you're essentially, you are emotionally cheating, financially cheating, because if you've made an OnlyFans, you're for sure, you had to pay the subscription.
9:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
9:32 Bunnie XO? You're already checked out. So the best thing you could do is tell your partner and either you guys separate, or if she's on board with it and you guys have some sort of agreement, cool, can continue on. But I genuinely think you need to tell your wife what's going on and.
9:48 Speaker 01 Mm hmm.
9:49 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
9:50 Speaker 01 Yeah. Hate to break it to you. She don't love you.
9:53 Bunnie XO? No, for sure. Take the money away and see how long she talks to you for.
9:57 Speaker 01 Exactly. Like, and you probably had to pay her to slide into her DMs on OF.
10:02 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I'm sure.
10:03 Speaker 02 Mm hmm.
10:04 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
10:05 Speaker 01 Okay, so this one says, um, I met a boy in middle school, fell madly in love. Uh, I came from a toxic family and it was hell. So first chance I got, I moved in with my boyfriend and his family. Well, everything was good at first and before I knew it, after a few years, he was staying at his brother's and leaving me behind until I realized he had been cheating on me. So I sold and married his fucking dad. I.
10:33 Bunnie XO? Damn.
10:35 Speaker 05 Damn. Fucking took a turn.
10:37 Bunnie XO? I mean, and that was, that was like an abrupt turn.
10:40 Speaker 01 Had two kids with him. Let's just say I'm now his stepmom.
10:48 Speaker 01 This motherfucker won't ever forget my name or how he did me dirty. So I did him dirty. Since my husband has since passed being 20 years older than me.
11:00 Speaker 01 And now I remarried and I'm living the life I deserve with my two children that are now his little brothers. Ha ha karma is a bitch and hopefully it taught him a life lesson not to fuck over a mentally unstable person lol. I hope this finds its way onto the podcast.
11:16 Bunnie XO? I like that you read lol.
11:18 Speaker 01 Yeah, now I had to add that in there.
11:19 Bunnie XO? Yeah, um, you know, listen, I don't want to hate the player or the game, but I think that was a little overkill.
11:26 Speaker 01 I do feel like she did it purely out of spite and didn't actually love the dad because now you're saying that you are living the life you deserve.
11:33 Bunnie XO? But and you brought two kids into this world out of spite.
11:36 Speaker 01 Out of spite, yeah.
11:38 Bunnie XO? I don't know. I just feel like that's that right there alone is like gonna give you an autoimmune disorder. You know, like if you have that much anger and unforgiveness in your heart, it's gonna come out in other ways later on in life. And I'm not dogging you, girl, at all. I get it. We've all done fucked up shit for revenge, but I mean, that was that was a very manic decision.
12:01 Speaker 01 So I was like, you really stuck to that.
12:03 Bunnie XO? Yeah, and I get it, man. Getting cheated on is the worst fucking feeling ever and you really, really want to fucking get those people back whenever they hurt you like that, but.
12:13 Speaker 01 Maybe slash his tires and not fuck his dad.
12:15 Bunnie XO? Those babies, you know, and do those, does he have a relationship with his little brothers now because of the whole situation?
12:22 Speaker 01 Cause there could be a spite thing there. It's like he doesn't want a relationship.
12:25 Speaker 05 Or did that come between him and his dad?
12:27 Bunnie XO? Yeah, and how was the relationship with him and his dad? Like, did you cause a rift between a son and a father? It's just like, I don't know, there's just so many.
12:36 Speaker 01 Hey, she recognizes her issues and we love an accountable queen.
12:39 Bunnie XO? We love, love, love, love a queen that takes accountability. But I'm glad she's living her best life now.
12:47 Bunnie XO? I love that. My partner and I bought a house in the country last year and have been battling a mouse problem. We finally felt like we got it under control. I was home from work one day and my dog was fixated on my partner's nightstand like he would, like he would track down critters in other parts of the house. I open the top drawer and see nothing, close it, open the bottom drawer. Well, that's where we keep all of our adult toys. When I opened the bottom drawer, there is a nest of shredded paper and six pink baby mice in his penis pump. I was beyond baffled. I FaceTimed him at work and the look of disbelief was incredible, but so valid. We've been so tickled by this and
13:30 Bunnie XO? wanted to tell someone because it's hilarious. So this is my throwaway account. I've been waiting all week to share this with y'all.
13:38 Speaker 01 Oh.
13:38 Speaker 05 In the penis pump as well. Did they take a picture?
13:41 Bunnie XO? They burrowed in. They burrowed in because it's like a little hamster cage.
13:48 Speaker 01 Oh, my gosh.
13:51 Bunnie XO? Yeah, you could never use a frog in that penis pump ever again. I hope they didn't use it again. Today's episode is brought to you by Vinted. Y'all know how it goes. You open your closet and have a million things hanging up, but somehow still feel like you have nothing to wear. That's me. And let's be real, half that stuff hasn't been touched in forever. Instead of letting all those clothes just sit there taking up space, you might as well make a little money off of them. If you haven't used it yet, Vinted is a secondhand marketplace app that makes it so simple to sell the quality clothes you no longer wear and discover unique pieces at great prices. And the best part, you don't have to make a whole project out of selling your clothes. Listing your clothes on Vinted is quick and simple, and once something sells, Vinted creates
14:35 Bunnie XO? the prepaid shipping label for you, so you don't have to worry about that part. Best of all, there are no seller fees, which means you actually keep every single dollar you earn from your sales. So instead of letting all those clothes collect dust, Vinted gives you a way to clear out some space, make a little extra money, and maybe even find something new to love. Give your clothes a second life with Vinted. Download the Vinted app for free to start selling with no seller fees, so you keep everything you earn. And why is dude got a penis pump? Those things are Don't even really work.
15:08 Bunnie XO? My ex used to use one. I've told you guys, I walked in on him in the closet.
15:13 Bunnie XO? I mean, he already had a fucking hog on him. So it was like.
15:19 Bunnie XO? Yeah, like, so I'm like, what are we doing? Like, it didn't do anything different.
15:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, it's trauma.
15:25 Bunnie XO? It stretches the penis out and like hurts it more. I don't think it like.
15:29 Speaker 01 Trauma, Dick, is wild.
15:32 Bunnie XO? Maybe they like it because it makes all the blood rush to it. Maybe it's a sensitivity thing, but yeah. No, that's hilarious. I hope you guys fucking bomb the fuck out of your house, though. I would freak out with that many mice next to my bed. Oh, God.
15:47 Speaker 05 I'd like to know where they went.
15:48 Bunnie XO? In the fucking toilet.
15:52 Bunnie XO? Yep.
15:54 Bunnie XO? Yep. Listen, I free. Listen, I free ladybugs. I do all of that, but mice living in your house, you gotta make an example.
16:05 Speaker 01 No, we, I get it. I live in the country. I got a cat for this exact reason because we have little mice out in the chicken coops and in the barn and I can't handle that and I'm terrified of them getting to the house. So we, you guys all know the series of barn cats car, but that right there. What were they doing while you were sleeping? That's what I would like to know. Were they running on your bed?
16:29 Speaker 03 I just got the chills.
16:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:32 Bunnie XO? Flush the whole house down the drain. I can't fucking do it.
16:35 Speaker 01 Burn the whole motherfucker down.
16:36 Bunnie XO? Burn the whole motherfucker down, Pookie. I'm over it.
16:39 Speaker 05 What do we got, one? Okay. This is from Sierra. Not mine, but my sister's story. And she's no longer with us, so I'm gonna tell it. This is only for you, cuz you like shit and buttholes. She said, my sister had a thing with this guy, hideous in my opinion. I was 21 at the time. We were all drinking and my sister's friend ends up walking me home. My sister had a migraine. She gets in her purse and takes what she thought is Tylenol.
17:08 Bunnie XO? Oh, no.
17:09 Speaker 05 They were laxatives. Uh, her and dude end up doing the deed. I was not there for this. Um, but as my sister told it, he was coming and said, wow, you're so wet. Then said, do you smell shit? My sister shit his whole bed and it was graphic. Um, she ran to the bathroom and threw herself in the shower to wash the shit off. She came out to him, nowhere to be seen with a Walmart bag on top, her shoes with her shit filled pants and a sticky note that said, please don't contact me again.
17:46 Speaker 01 The sticky note? You could have just left. I think she would have known.
17:50 Speaker 05 Sticky notes wild. How did you know where a sticky note was?
17:53 Bunnie XO? She was in his house.
17:55 Speaker 02 Get bored, he'd go.
17:56 Speaker 05 Oh, that was, oh yeah, it was his house.
17:58 Bunnie XO? Yeah, that's.
18:03 Speaker 05 That's even crazier.
18:04 Speaker 01 Drive. I gotta go.
18:07 Speaker 05 Said, I need a cig.
18:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:08 Bunnie XO? My thing is, is I don't care how fucking much diarrhea I have. I know when it's coming out.
18:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, you didn't know that.
18:17 Speaker 05 She was drinking. She was drinking and.
18:23 Speaker 01 Laxative. That's.
18:27 Speaker 05 She probably felt like she was just like finishing and it was from a different hole.
18:33 Speaker 01 Oh gosh. You know how, okay, not just that, he fucked the shit into her.
18:41 Bunnie XO? Cause it went on her pussy. Uh, were they doing anal? Were they doing anal?
18:47 Speaker 05 I don't know.
18:48 Bunnie XO? Oh, I have so many questions.
18:51 Bunnie XO? I have.
18:52 Speaker 01 Funny going.
18:56 Bunnie XO? I mean, I, I'm really into this story. I gotta know.
19:03 Bunnie XO? I've like
19:04 Speaker 01 That one got me.
19:05 Bunnie XO? Listen, guys, listen, we need full context. I need every last detail because my mind wanders, you know?
19:14 Speaker 05 I'm like, was it the, I want to know if it's the Walmart bag with the smiley face on it.
19:19 Bunnie XO? I want to know where he found a pen and a sticky note, like
19:22 Speaker 05 In that amount of time.
19:24 Speaker 01 So quick.
19:25 Bunnie XO? Yeah, so quick. While she's in the shower, poor girl.
19:27 Speaker 05 And that's not, that's, listen dude, that dude sucks.
19:30 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
19:31 Speaker 05 Like, let's really talk about it. That dude fucking sucks.
19:33 Speaker 01 He should have been helping you out.
19:35 Speaker 05 He should have.
19:36 Speaker 01 Let some wipes out or something.
19:37 Bunnie XO? Yeah, he's like, dude, are you okay? Like, holy shit, I'm so sorry that this happened. Like,
19:42 Speaker 01 That man ain't shit.
19:43 Bunnie XO? Yeah, he ain't shit. I'm sure, you know what? He probably shit the bed one time after that.
19:47 Speaker 01 Maybe it was his shit.
19:48 Bunnie XO? Yeah, it could have been his shit. Wasn't even the sisters. Yeah. I've got so many questions.
19:54 Speaker 01 Wait, I can't choose between the two. I think I want to go with this one. Uh, my hubby and I are nymphos. Back in the hippie days.
20:02 Bunnie XO? Likes sex.
20:03 Speaker 01 I mean, all the time.
20:05 Bunnie XO? Okay.
20:05 Speaker 01 Okay. So, back in the hippie days, free love, we streaked naked the neighborhood with sparklers.
20:11 Bunnie XO? Back in the hippie days, so seventies?
20:12 Speaker 01 Yep.
20:13 Bunnie XO? Okay.
20:14 Speaker 01 And that's when it began. So their, their love for sex together was streaking naked with sparklers. We had sex in the woods at a family reunion on a bank near the river in broad daylight. In a showroom, buying a car that was a tricky one, but we did it. I sat on his lap while the salesperson was away.
20:32 Bunnie XO? Okay, so they're voyeurs. They're not nymphos, they're voyeurs.
20:35 Speaker 01 What the hell is that?
20:36 Speaker 05 I don't know what that means. I thought it was when you're on vacation.
20:38 Bunnie XO? No, a voyeur is people who like to have sex in public places and, and, and like the idea of getting caught.
20:45 Speaker 01 Oh, this is a new word. The more you know. Uh, I sat on his lap while the salesperson was away. He slipped it in. The excitement, the thrill that day in our backyard pool at a free love concert. It was always a journey and it happened often. I would always wear a dress with nothing underneath and he would always wear shorts or something that made it easy access to have sex happen in the strangest places. It was the best sex I ever had. It was a crazy ride and a love affair. We didn't care. Free love hippie days. Yes, I'm an old lady now and I still rock having a great sex life.
21:17 Bunnie XO? Oh, period. We love that for her.
21:19 Speaker 01 Go her.
21:20 Bunnie XO? I love that. I wonder if her and the dude are still together.
21:23 Speaker 01 Doesn't sound like it.
21:24 Bunnie XO? Oh.
21:25 Speaker 01 Yeah, she just loved that time.
21:27 Bunnie XO? That's gonna be me one day reminiscing about my fucking wild hoe days. I'm telling you, man. Life creeps up on you fast, dude.
21:36 Speaker 01 Yeah, she's in her 60s now. Go, go you.
21:38 Bunnie XO? Go you, mama. That means she's got her hormones right, too. We stan a HRT queen. For anonymity, for anonymity.
21:51 Bunnie XO? Keep me anonymous.
21:52 Speaker 01 What does that mean?
21:54 Bunnie XO? Call me Jack. I want to come out to my family as gay. What do I do?
22:02 Bunnie XO? For context, I am a teenager.
22:05 Speaker 01 Oh.
22:06 Bunnie XO? Sweet boy.
22:07 Speaker 01 Okay, I get it.
22:08 Bunnie XO? Well, Jack, um, this is kind of a personal question because we don't know, like, the background of your family. I don't want to walk you into something that is going to completely devastate you or traumatize you. I would need to know more information on how to approach that, but I do think there's nothing better in this life than living authentically in the skin that you're in.
22:32 Speaker 01 Yep.
22:34 Bunnie XO? So I think, you know, we would probably need to know more details. If you can circle back, that would be awesome. And then we could guide you a little bit better, but just blindly going in.
22:42 Speaker 01 Yeah, because like testing the waters, we would definitely need to know where the parents' standpoint in this. Like what kind of, you know, because you could test the waters with them and they could be already fully accepting of this.
22:53 Bunnie XO? Right. Yeah, they probably already know.
22:55 Speaker 01 True.
22:56 Bunnie XO? Yeah, you think that parents don't know, but we know. We know when somebody is, you know, batting for the other team because you can just tell.
23:05 Speaker 01 Yeah, they might already know, or they could be completely oblivious, but I do feel like you could probably pry a little bit without being too obvious and get their standpoint just from that right there.
23:17 Bunnie XO? I'm sure they are. If he's asking for our advice, I'm assuming they're probably not easy to talk to. Because he probably would have already came out to them, but that's again, me making assumptions, so I can't.
23:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, we need more, more context to that one would be great because we would love to help you in that journey because it is such a beautiful thing to live authentically yourself.
23:40 Bunnie XO? Yep.
23:41 Speaker 01 So.
23:42 Bunnie XO? I've been needing new glasses forever and it's just one of those things I keep putting off. So I finally went on Zenni to pick out a new pair. I'm going with these black rectangle glasses that are really similar to the ones I already wear because, listen, I know what I like. They're classic, they go with everything, and I'm excited to get them. Zenni has frames starting from under $30 and I love that you can use their virtual try-on to see what different frames look like before you order. You just find a pair you love, enter your prescription, customize your lenses, and they'll ship them right to your door. Zenni is truly the easiest way to shop for stylish prescription glasses without the headache, backed by over 150,000 5-star reviews. Check new glasses off your list today with Zenni. Go to zenni.com/podcast
24:26 Bunnie XO? and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off plus free shipping over $65. Style sellout, so don't wait. That's Z E N N I dot com slash podcast, promo code PODCAST15. Zenni.com/podcast, code PODCAST15. Listen, nobody wants to give their money away to ridiculous bank fees. It's your money. You shouldn't have to pay somebody just to keep it in an account. That's why I like what Chime is doing. There are no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, and no minimum balance fees. You can also get 5% cash back on your Chime card in a category you choose, like gas or groceries, while building credit through your everyday spending with no credit check.
25:07 Bunnie XO? And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to $200 fee-free. To me, banking should make managing your money easier, not nickel and dime you every chance it gets. So if you're tired of ridiculous fees, Chime is definitely worth checking out. Join the millions who are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com/bunny. That's chime.com/b-u-n-n-i-e. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime Card provide By Chimes Bank Partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for details. Proud of you, Jack, though. Proud of you.
25:48 Speaker 01 Hey, you came out to us. That's what matters.
25:49 Bunnie XO? Yeah, we love that. You guys want to do one more? I have one more. You have one more. Go ahead.
25:56 Speaker 05 I have one more.
25:57 Bunnie XO? Go ahead. I've been really thinking about a bag of chips this whole frickin' show.
26:02 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah? What are you thinking?
26:04 Bunnie XO? Sour cream, but I can't eat the whole thing. I just can't have it.
26:07 Speaker 01 I'll share it with you.
26:08 Bunnie XO? One, okay. Have a couple.
26:10 Speaker 05 Um, okay, here's a story I probably shouldn't be telling, but it's too funny not to. When I was 14, I had a best friend named Kate. We were inseparable. Um, one day we were hanging out alone at my family's pool, just messing around with the jets. And then the idea hit me. I thought, what if I sit directly on the jet? And not just sit, but like really commit to the bit. Naturally, I did it for the sole purpose of making her laugh. At first, it was funny, too funny. So I stayed there longer than I should have, which was my first mistake. The second I got off, I realized I had made a catastrophic, catastrophic miscalculation. I had to clinch for my life. I'm talking immediate emergency situation.
26:54 Speaker 05 I bolted out of the pool, yanked my bikini to the side and proceeded to absolutely destroy the side of my house. No warning, no mercy.
27:02 Bunnie XO? Oh, she gave herself an enema. Damn.
27:05 Speaker 05 Oh, wait. Oh, no, there's more. Kate's dying laughing. I'm half laughing, half fighting for my dignity. And here's the worst part. After we finally pulled ourselves together, we went back and did it again.
27:18 Bunnie XO? I think all girls have a jet story.
27:23 Speaker 05 First of all, I wasn't rich. My pool didn't have jets.
27:26 Bunnie XO? I had an above ground pool that had jets, okay? We weren't rich either.
27:30 Speaker 05 I didn't have jets, but no, I don't have a jet story.
27:33 Bunnie XO? Uh, I do.
27:34 Speaker 01 That's unfortunate for you.
27:35 Bunnie XO? Oh, okay. You got a jet story, Bimes?
27:37 Speaker 01 I feel like waterish.
27:41 Speaker 05 Okay.
27:42 Bunnie XO? Do tell.
27:42 Speaker 05 What am I missing out on?
27:43 Speaker 01 Oh, no, I was younger. I'm not talking about that.
27:47 Bunnie XO? I can't ever pull anything out of Mimi. She'll say, she'll say yes, and she'll allude to something, but she'll never go into detail.
27:54 Speaker 01 My mom watches this.
27:56 Speaker 05 My entire family watches this and I say.
27:57 Speaker 01 Yeah. Hey, Susan.
27:59 Speaker 02 Hi.
27:59 Bunnie XO? Hey, hey, Susan. Um, so I think fucking her giving herself an enema is hilarious. She must have been bearing down on that thing.
28:09 Speaker 05 For like a second, like she had to been on there. Is that what an enema does?
28:13 Bunnie XO? Oh, yeah, cleans you up.
28:14 Speaker 01 Yeah, I mean it.
28:15 Bunnie XO? Yeah, you could put water up your butt, like mountain spring water up your ass, and that's an enema too, and it'll come out.
28:21 Speaker 01 Not just the saline isn't.
28:22 Bunnie XO? Yeah.
28:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
28:24 Speaker 02 Like an oil change.
28:25 Bunnie XO? You could put coffee up your ass.
28:27 Speaker 01 I've seen people do coffee enemas.
28:28 Bunnie XO? Put coffee up their ass and do coffee.
28:30 Speaker 02 What does that do?
28:31 Bunnie XO? Cleans your whole fucking shit out, man.
28:33 Speaker 01 An oil change, yeah.
28:34 Speaker 02 Does it like give you the, you wake up?
28:36 Bunnie XO? I don't, I've done it. Um, I can't remember. Did I do one? I think I did one and it made me like fucking cracked out.
28:42 Speaker 01 I would imagine it's like putting cocaine in you.
28:43 Speaker 05 Yeah, I think I did one. I never stuck anything up my ass.
28:46 Bunnie XO? Kaylee did one.
28:48 Speaker 05 I mean.
28:50 Bunnie XO? You've never had an enema?
28:51 Speaker 05 But I meant like that, yeah.
28:53 Bunnie XO? Well, you don't have a shitting problem.
28:55 Speaker 05 No, I don't.
28:55 Bunnie XO? Until you're constipated and that's your last resort, oof.
28:59 Speaker 01 I had a enema when I was giving birth to Cash, after I had Cash, because like, you know, like anesthesia and stuff, you get plugged up really bad and you're not supposed to push afterwards. Tragic.
29:09 Bunnie XO? Oof. Yeah, and I was like, I love a little baby enema, just stick it in there. I did one the other day and I pooped and it was in the shape of a J and I came out.
29:19 Speaker 01 Sent a picture, didn't you?
29:19 Bunnie XO? Yeah, I know, I told my husband about it though. He was really proud.
29:23 Speaker 01 The amount of poop pictures I've seen.
29:25 Speaker 05 From you?
29:26 Speaker 01 From you is wild.
29:26 Speaker 05 There was one that I literally still can't believe, that one. You know what I'm talking about?
29:30 Speaker 01 Your, is it the color?
29:31 Speaker 05 That one.
29:32 Speaker 01 That one, you saw that one?
29:32 Speaker 05 That one was wild.
29:34 Speaker 01 That was the craziest, most perfect poop I've ever seen.
29:36 Speaker 05 Cut off? I don't know.
29:38 Bunnie XO? It was healthy. I miss, I haven't had one like that since.
29:40 Speaker 01 Really?
29:41 Bunnie XO? Uh, that one was.
29:42 Speaker 05 You probably don't have to anymore. That cleared your entire system out for a couple of years.
29:45 Speaker 01 That gave you some time.
29:47 Bunnie XO? Probably like 20 years of just fucking shit that came out of me. Yeah.
29:50 Speaker 01 Yeah, that color was nice.
29:52 Bunnie XO? Yeah. All right, guys, we are out of here. See you next week. Love you. Bye.
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