Bert Kreischer Explains Why He Only Wants ONE Woman

This week, Bunnie Xo sits down with comedy powerhouse Bert Kreischer for a wildly unfiltered conversation that goes everywhere—and then some. Bert opens up about his recent health and weight-loss journey, including experimenting with Mounjaro, peptides, and GLP-based treatments, along with the very real (and very graphic) side effects no one warns you about. The two also dive deep into mental health, sharing candid experiences with OCD, anxiety, medication, and exposure therapy. Bert breaks down his long-standing rituals, flying anxieties, and the routines he’s stuck to for years, while both reflect on how vulnerability, social media, and public scrutiny impact their lives behind the scenes. Of course, it wouldn’t be a Bert episode without stories about marriage, intimacy, past relationships, marijuana, and the evolution of his comedy career—from early fame to what’s next, including a new Netflix special on the horizon. They also touch on family dynamics, reality TV hypotheticals, and Bert’s upcoming Netflix series, The Legend of Bert, premiering January 22. Equal parts hilarious, honest, and unexpectedly heartfelt—this episode pulls back the curtain on fame, fear, and figuring it out in real time. Bert Kreischer: Website https://www.bertbertbert.com/ Watch Full Episodes & More: YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@Dumbblondepod

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bunnie XO?

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• 0:43Bunnie XO?

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• 1:10Bunnie XO?

  Is this thing on? You guys, I have the machine sitting on my couch and I have been trying to get him here for years. He's finally in Nashville. He came to grace us with his presence, Mr. Bert Kreischer.

• 1:22Speaker 01

  I am so happy to be here.

• 1:24Bunnie XO?

  Dude, I love that you're barefoot and that you're comfortable. Are you gonna take your shirt off?

• 1:28Speaker 01

  No, by the way, I'm... Oh, wow.

• 1:33Bunnie XO?

  He's like, we're starting off heavy.

• 1:34Speaker 01

  You know, I got back up to 275.

• 1:36Bunnie XO?

  Oh, did you?

• 1:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, I got back up to 275 and at 275, I filmed my whole, I think I filmed my whole TV show at 270. So like the TV show Free Bird that's on Netflix that's coming out?

• 1:48Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:48Speaker 01

  January 22nd. I was, I was, I was overweight. Like I was the, I wanna say I was the fattest I've ever been, but I was in top five fattest.

• 1:57Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:57Speaker 01

  My best friend, Tony Hernandez, was like, pulled me aside. He's like, I just want you to know, man.

• 2:03Speaker 01

  I did Lucky when you were the skinniest you've ever been. I can't tell the difference.

• 2:07Bunnie XO?

  Oh, because your tummy is always just.

• 2:09Speaker 01

  I always look the same, but, but I just started the Manjaro.

• 2:14Bunnie XO?

  Have you started the Manjaro?

• 2:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, Manjaro, Manjaro. And I'm down 20 pounds in two weeks.

• 2:19Bunnie XO?

  Wow. Does it affect your eating or anything?

• 2:22Speaker 01

  My joy? Yeah. Yeah. My sparkle's gone. Yeah. The razzle dazzle of life has disappeared. I sit there like a zombie all day. People go, you want sushi? And I go, I could just have a glass of water.

• 2:33Bunnie XO?

  And then you drink the glass of water and you're full.

• 2:35Speaker 01

  And you're full and you're like, you know what I had last night for dinner? Which was, by the way, and this is crazy, the most enjoyable thing I've had in a very long time? Toast.

• 2:47Bunnie XO?

  Toast with butter slaps though.

• 2:48Speaker 01

  Toast with butter.

• 2:49Bunnie XO?

  Toast with butter slaps.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  And it was, it was.

• 2:52Bunnie XO?

  Heaven. Heavenly.

• 2:54Speaker 01

  And I had one piece of toast and I went, I feel great.

• 2:58Bunnie XO?

  Have you ever tried to take Retta? Have you tried the Retta? Retta True Try. Retta True Try is the new GLP-3, which I'm gonna start taking it tomorrow.

• 3:06Speaker 01

  Why?

• 3:07Bunnie XO?

  I'm fucking ready. Listen, I, I got an ass to lose. All right. I'm, I got the Brazilian ass that I need to lose. But it's supposed to shred you, but without all the side effects of like Manjaro and trisepitide and all that stuff.

• 3:21Speaker 01

  The side effects are aggressive. I got into a huge blowout fight with Isla and Leanne. We got a three-way fight. They were in the car.

• 3:27Bunnie XO?

  That's a gang fight.

• 3:28Speaker 01

  And it's not fair. Because Isla's done none of the research, right? She's just a talking head for Leanne. Whatever Leanne says, she goes, you gotta listen to mom. She has all the answers, dad. And I'm like, she does not have all the answers.

• 3:41Bunnie XO?

  Listen, I don't know. Leanne is pretty all-knowing. I love, I, I'm, I'm a Leanne fan over here. You know that.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know. But you know, it's like, I've spent so much time with the woman. It's like, we're MC announcers now. So like, we spend all our time together.

• 3:55Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 3:55Speaker 01

  And I, there are things that she thinks she knows about, that she doesn't know about. But only, and I got her to, I, like, anything working out. She's got a trainer for like, four years, five years.

• 4:11Speaker 01

  Man, you'd think she took CrossFit 101. She's like, she says wild shit sometimes. I'm just like, babe, I've known you for 21 years. You just learned about stretching four years ago. So yeah, but yeah, but they got, they got my ass.

• 4:27Bunnie XO?

  What was the beef about though?

• 4:28Speaker 01

  About the side effects. So, you know, I have two doctors. I have a longevity doctor and a cardiologist. And my cardiologist said, he's the one that prescribed it. He did a DEXA scan. He's like, he goes, listen, man, your blood work's fine. I'm not prescribing it for your blood work. I'm prescribing for your visceral fat. He was like, that's the dangerous fat and you're holding 90 pounds in your stomach.

• 4:48Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  And he was like, it's crazy, but you gotta get rid of that 90 pounds. If we can get it to 40 pounds, that'll be incredible, which is still 40 pounds in your gut is a lot.

• 4:59Bunnie XO?

  No, it's a lot. Actually, I've been studying peptides because I'm like, I'm, I'm taking VCP and SS31 right now. So I'm like a real nerd about peptides.

• 5:09Speaker 01

  I don't know what they do. I can't, I do not know what a mitochondria is.

• 5:14Bunnie XO?

  But she does. There you go.

• 5:16Speaker 01

  What the fuck? I'm sitting here going, oh, my mitochondria is kicking ass. I have no idea what a fucking mitochondria does.

• 5:21Bunnie XO?

  My mitochondria is turned up. No, that's how I feel. But they have one that, that trait, that, that literally does the visceral.

• 5:28Speaker 01

  Do we have the same longevity doctor?

• 5:30Bunnie XO?

  I, we might, but how do we go from being party animals to having fucking longevity doctors in the first place? Like Burt, help.

• 5:36Speaker 01

  And how, how unrelatable are we?

• 5:39Bunnie XO?

  Like, what is happening?

• 5:41Speaker 01

  This morning I took my Manjaro, my testosterone, SS31 before I went to bed.

• 5:46Bunnie XO?

  Are you taking SS31? Oh my God. I love that. That is fucking amazing. Dude.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  I'm an expert on keeping refrigerated.

• 5:54Bunnie XO?

  I just bought a mini fridge to put in my bedroom, in my bathroom, so I could keep all my peptides in them.

• 5:59Speaker 01

  I'm like a German scientist in the eighties, just getting athletes from one place. It is great. This is so bizarre.

• 6:06Bunnie XO?

  No, the whole peptide craze is insane, but there is one that is strictly for visceral fat, which is what I was going to tell you about. It's called Tessomorlin. I have some at the house. I can give you the vial of it. If you want to do the research before you take it, I've done all the research, but. It shrinks visceral fat and that's specifically what it's for was zero side effects of them like the monjaro's and the GLP's.

• 6:27Speaker 01

  That's what I'm looking for. Right now I'm I travel with a trainer just to keep lifting weights because they say that it tears down muscle. I mean, like, I mean, I have a friend. Everyone knows him, but he's he did the GLP ones and I watched his muscle disappear because he wasn't lifting weights. And so I was like.

• 6:44Bunnie XO?

  And that's what Reda is good for, too. Reda allows you to shred, but keep your muscle mass.

• 6:49Speaker 01

  I love it.

• 6:49Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, we're gonna I'm gonna turn you out, buddy.

• 6:52Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:52Bunnie XO?

  All right.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  Landed a one round, one, one shot of monjaro.

• 6:57Bunnie XO?

  Oh, gosh.

• 6:58Speaker 01

  One shot, one time. I think it was for it was for something else. It was blood work needed. And she just got skinny and looked amazing and then kept it there.

• 7:09Bunnie XO?

  Leanna's tiny as hell.

• 7:11Speaker 01

  I know.

• 7:11Bunnie XO?

  She's she's just a tiny little package. So I couldn't imagine I did try zeppetide and I shit so much my butthole hurt on a tour bus. Bert.

• 7:20Speaker 01

  It's crazy those shits. You don't pick when they come.

• 7:22Bunnie XO?

  No, and you can't control it. Have you ever had to catch your shits in a in a bag?

• 7:27Speaker 01

  You mean hot bag it?

• 7:28Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:29Bunnie XO?

  All trisepetide shits, though.

• 7:32Speaker 01

  Hold on, hold on, hold on. Just let's be very clear. Close your eyes if you if you need to. If you're not driving.

• 7:37Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 7:39Speaker 01

  Trisepetide shits smell like the kind of shits that a guy that's fall next to you has to say something. Like, dude, what did you eat?

• 7:46Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 7:47Speaker 01

  They are if now if it's your shit, it's enjoyable. In a hot bag situation, I cannot imagine that I wouldn't be dry heaving.

• 7:54Bunnie XO?

  No, and it's heavy. I would I would bring it out of the bathroom and make them hold it because I was like, dude, this is a pound. I lost seven pounds the first week I did trisepetide.

• 8:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was me, dude, trisepetide. I can justify I've taken like, I've taken crazy shits that I took a shit in Japan one time and it was so bad, the guy in the stall next to me threw up.

• 8:15Speaker 01

  That's true. That's true. And anyway, Japan, I thought he was talking to me. He was like, it was like, no, it's a it's a bidet. Press the button.

• 8:23Bunnie XO?

  So you take shits like my husband.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  The trisepetide ones were like.

• 8:27Bunnie XO?

  It's like, and they're logs.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  And they're, and they, mine were coming out like crude oil.

• 8:31Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 8:32Speaker 01

  Beginning of the Beverly Hillbillies.

• 8:33Bunnie XO?

  Damn.

• 8:33Speaker 01

  The goat that moves.

• 8:35Bunnie XO?

  Oh, my God.

• 8:36Speaker 01

  Man.

• 8:36Bunnie XO?

  No, it's rough, dude. The, people don't talk about like that aspect and that side effect of the GLPs and the GLP ones and threes and stuff like that.

• 8:45Speaker 01

  Can I tell you, can I tell you something I'm very proud of? That you just said that and, and it's because we share a life, like me and, and you know, I think it's why me, you, Jelly and Leanne have a closeness.

• 8:59Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 8:59Speaker 01

  Is, which is, it's crazy. It's not, it is, it's earned. It's not, it's not like, uh, it's not like we met on a red carpet for whatever reason.

• 9:10Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 9:10Speaker 01

  We all connected for real. But there's a thing you said when you go, you know, when you hot bag it and then there's, and that's earned. That's earned. You don't, no one, no one, half the people don't know what we're talking about.

• 9:20Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 9:20Speaker 01

  They're like, what are you talking, so on tour buses, you're not allowed to shit. So what you do is you take like a, a grocery bag, like the kind you get at the store.

• 9:28Bunnie XO?

  I prefer the, I like those or I like the black, the big black bag. So you don't have to see it.

• 9:32Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 9:33Bunnie XO?

  Those are my faves.

• 9:33Speaker 01

  Yeah. And then you put that over the toilet seat and you dip it into the toilet. Then you shit into that bag and then you take it and you wrap it up and then you get rid of it. That's how you shit on tour buses. My daughter Isla.

• 9:45Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  Called me and she was like, she was like, I mean, fucking hysterical. She calls and she goes, hey, how do I turn the water on in our house? And I was like, I don't know. I, I call your mom. I'm, I have no idea. But I go, don't shit. She goes, too late. And I was like, what do you mean? She goes, I didn't know the water wasn't on. I took a log. What am I supposed to do? And I was like, get a bunch of water, flush it down, right?

• 10:06Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no.

• 10:07Speaker 01

  But then, but then, and so there's a joke there that I'm going to leave for the stage. But then, like a couple of days later, I said, has the water been turned on? And she goes, no, we can't figure out how to get it turned on. Don't worry about it. I've been hot bagging it.

• 10:18Bunnie XO?

  Couple of days later.

• 10:20Speaker 01

  A couple of days later.

• 10:20Bunnie XO?

  She's got this log just floating.

• 10:22Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no, no. Oh.

• 10:23Bunnie XO?

  She got it out.

• 10:23Speaker 01

  Share. I think she got a rubber glove and got, pulled it out and threw it into the neighbor's yard.

• 10:27Bunnie XO?

  God.

• 10:28Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, that's my kid.

• 10:30Bunnie XO?

  At a girl, at a girl.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Yeah. But, but she goes, yeah, I, they had a couple of days or a day that they didn't have the water on. And I said, how have you been taking shit? And she goes, I've been hot bagging it. That's a kid that grew up on tour buses.

• 10:42Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 10:43Speaker 01

  And that's earned.

• 10:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, no, that's all, that's a, that's a life choice that you make. That was one of the hardest things that we had to get used to on tour, especially sharing a bus. Cause of my bus, I bring out my own bus with Jay, so it's all women. So we have our periods, we all shit, and we have two bathrooms that we have to use between all of us. And it is insane, but when we're all on fucking trisepatide, ooh, fully loaded.

• 11:06Speaker 01

  Fully loaded.

• 11:07Bunnie XO?

  Fully fricking loaded, buddy. All right, I want to play a game with you, Bert.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  Please.

• 11:11Bunnie XO?

  Okay, he said, please. It's a rapid fire game and I want you to tell me if this is a porn category or an energy drink flavor.

• 11:19Speaker 01

  I, I think I'm going to be pretty good at this.

• 11:21Bunnie XO?

  Okay, okay, all right. What's your favorite kind of porn?

• 11:24Speaker 01

  So.

• 11:25Bunnie XO?

  We talk about this all the time.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  Okay, and we're, and we're all, there's an open book.

• 11:28Bunnie XO?

  Oh, yeah, I know. She loves eighties Bush porn.

• 11:31Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 11:35Bunnie XO?

  Tommy likes cat porn.

• 11:37Speaker 01

  Cat porn?

• 11:38Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, he's totally into cats.

• 11:39Speaker 02

  Very vanilla, very vanilla over here.

• 11:41Speaker 01

  Um, or cat, what's cat porn?

• 11:44Speaker 02

  I was like, I like to watch cats lick each other and like, not, yeah, not in a creepy way.

• 11:50Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 11:52Bunnie XO?

  Bert's looking at me like, please say you're kidding. Can we turn the air on here and here? I'm laughing so hard. I'm fucking like sweating over here.

• 11:58Speaker 01

  Kyle may be standing outside the door with coffee. Someone let him know. Okay, okay, cause, yeah, okay, keep mo, so my, so I was always into porn, but I, and I, and I didn't, I, I was in the generation that got to discover porn.

• 12:13Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  Where porn showed up and we had dial up and you had to wait for it.

• 12:16Bunnie XO?

  I'm, how old are you, Bert?

• 12:17Speaker 01

  Fifty-three.

• 12:18Bunnie XO?

  Okay, I'm forty-five, so we're in the same era.

• 12:20Speaker 01

  And so then also, we got to discover the crazy genres of porn. I remember the first one, I stepped out of the box and I was like, are you allowed to look at this? In a hotel room by myself, probably two thousand, uh, nineteen, in two thousand. I remember I was on my computer and it said, pregnant porn. And I went, whoa, if I click that, do I get in trouble? Meaning are, do I? Why I get registered. So I'm at that, I'm at the frontier. Of of porn. So I got to try it all. I I worked with a dominatrix one time and she gave me these crazy tapes. And I was like, whoa.

• 12:55Bunnie XO?

  Okay, hold on. You worked with a dominatrix? What were you working with her doing?

• 12:59Speaker 01

  Uh, she tortured me for like.

• 13:01Bunnie XO?

  So you hired her?

• 13:02Speaker 01

  No, I did it for a TV show.

• 13:04Bunnie XO?

  For a TV show, okay. I've had some dominatrix on the podcast.

• 13:07Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, Mistress Isabella.

• 13:08Bunnie XO?

  I had Mistress Nina.

• 13:09Speaker 01

  And she got me totally naked. I mean, I was dating Leanne at the time, totally naked, tortured my balls, cock, everything, hot wax, electric, electric pod.

• 13:20Bunnie XO?

  Do you, are you into that?

• 13:21Speaker 01

  No, not at all.

• 13:23Bunnie XO?

  So you don't like any pain?

• 13:24Speaker 01

  I'm not, no, I don't like pain.

• 13:27Bunnie XO?

  I love that Leanne and you are so cool, which we'll talk about this in a little bit, that she was just like, you know what, go get your fucking balls played with by a dominatrix.

• 13:33Speaker 01

  Thirteen thousand dollars an episode.

• 13:35Bunnie XO?

  Exactly.

• 13:37Speaker 01

  So we, but at the end, she said, so we had a safe word, the safe word was marshmallow. She did one thing to me at the very end, and I said, marshmallow, and she went, it shouldn't hurt. And I said, no, I think I'm actually getting turned on and I don't want to be turned on. And she went, oh, oh, and then she gave me a bunch of tapes and she goes, at the end, she goes.

• 13:55Bunnie XO?

  What was it that turned you on?

• 13:56Speaker 01

  I think it was this thing. It was like, uh. She put me in like, in like, rubber, you know, or like the latex or whatever. And then she had a tube in there and there was lube in the tube and she would move the lube over my body and it.

• 14:13Bunnie XO?

  Did was your face completely covered too? Cause I've seen that before.

• 14:16Speaker 01

  I think they were going to and I I couldn't get to that point.

• 14:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I was gonna say, that's crazy. If that turns you on, you are a freaky freak.

• 14:22Speaker 01

  No, no, no. It was just that it was.

• 14:24Bunnie XO?

  No judgment.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Wrapped around my stomach and then the lube was moving and my dick moved and I, and I, and it turned me on. I went, hey, yo, marshmallow.

• 14:32Bunnie XO?

  Cause it was like massaging you.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  And I was like, oh, two more times of this and we're done. And so she gave me these tapes. And so I, that's when I explored. I was like, oh, wow. I'd never seen anything with BDSM or anything like that. Some of it I liked, some of it I didn't, I didn't, some of it I didn't understand. But then I understood that kinks are, you don't get to control your kinks. Your kinks show up, you get branded or imprinted at an age where you, that's the first thing you see and for whatever reason that turns you on and you don't get to help it. It's why like dudes are into quicksand porn. It's why some people are into like, like superhero porn. I just texted Leanne, uh, cause I have a, I like a little bit of a superhero, like a superhero fantasy. I texted Leanne a TV show. We both grew up watching Elektra girl, Elektra woman and Dinah girl.

• 15:16Bunnie XO?

  Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  And she was like, I grew up watching that. And I was like, me too.

• 15:20Bunnie XO?

  I mean, dudes were jacking off to She-Ra, freaking Katra.

• 15:24Speaker 01

  I jerked off to the Bugloos.

• 15:25Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 15:26Speaker 01

  Yeah, the girl.

• 15:27Bunnie XO?

  Jim and the holograms.

• 15:29Speaker 01

  But the, so the thing, so then when I got to a grown age where I was dating Leanne, I had a disconnect from porn. The thing that turns me on in porn is, this is so weird, but anything visually I would see from Leanne, that angle turns me on. Does that make sense?

• 15:50Bunnie XO?

  So kind of explain it for the listeners at home.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  So, and we're gonna get a little, uh, illicit, but like, say you're going down on a woman and the visual of you're seeing her breasts and her chin, that visual, that point of view, that perspective is what I like to watch. So like, uh, I don't, I can't.

• 16:11Bunnie XO?

  Most women, most women hate that because when we look down, we have a double chin while, when you guys are down there.

• 16:17Speaker 01

  Oh, I think it's, I like, anything, anything that we would do, perspective wise, I enjoy.

• 16:23Bunnie XO?

  Okay. So you like POV porn?

• 16:24Speaker 01

  Not even POV as much as just seeing what we would do. I can't watch something we wouldn't do.

• 16:31Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 16:31Speaker 01

  Cause it pulls me out of it.

• 16:33Bunnie XO?

  Okay. Cause it's like something you've never done before and it's not familiar.

• 16:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I'm at this point now where I, if, if, if I, if like, the, Leanne's going to fucking kill me. So I told her, I was like, I was like, yo, I porn wasn't doing it for me. And I was, I think it's because she's so authentically her and the things that she has turned me on. So I said, hey, I need close up pictures of your body parts and I, for me.

• 16:58Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 16:58Speaker 01

  And she goes, no, you know, someone's gonna get your phone. And so someone in our office showed us how to have a hidden folder. So I have a hidden folder and they're just pictures. You can't see Leanne's face, but they're pictures of her body parts.

• 17:11Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 17:12Speaker 01

  And now it's our inside joke. I text her every, every morning. I text her, we, our, our emoji for sex is a feather. So silly, but uh.

• 17:24Bunnie XO?

  How did that come about?

• 17:28Bunnie XO?

  I gotta hear this story.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  So.

• 17:33Bunnie XO?

  And first of all, that is so sweet that you have just an album of Leanne. I love the way that you love her. My husband and I just, I do a check in video every week because I'm working really hard with this trainer. And he just told me the other day, he's like, I love these weekly check in videos. He said, I literally jerked off to one in Australia. And I was like, that's so hot. Send me a video of you doing it next time. I think that's so hot when husbands like just really love their wives, you know?

• 17:55Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. I mean, it's crazy. I, I didn't think I was gonna be attracted to someone like Leanne. Like I always thought it would be blonde hair, tan, big tits. And then when I got naked with her for the first time, I'd never experienced that feeling where I, I've said this before, and I don't know if it makes total sense, but I go, I felt like she was sharing a secret with me. Like I, I felt like she didn't get naked with a lot of people.

• 18:18Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 18:19Speaker 01

  That energy.

• 18:19Bunnie XO?

  She was yours.

• 18:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 18:21Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 18:21Speaker 01

  But so, so.

• 18:23Bunnie XO?

  The feather.

• 18:23Speaker 01

  So we, by the way, oh, I really wish Leanne was here.

• 18:29Bunnie XO?

  I know, me too. Should we call her? We could call her.

• 18:32Speaker 01

  No, she's in her workout class. So we, uh.

• 18:37Speaker 01

  We went to one night, I was working out with Arnold Schwarzenegger in the morning. And this is right when we started to get, we have two versions of sex. We have meat potatoes, which is our whole, you know, life. We're meeting, then having kids and the meat potatoes. And then for, then it's everything after, uh, after, uh, Saddle Ranch. Saddle Ranch is the moment things changed. One night at Saddle Ranch, we watched two kids walk into the bathroom to go have sex. She was like, what do you think they're doing? And I was like, they're having sex. She was like, what? I was like, yeah, they're gonna have sex. Or they're gonna do coke and have sex, who knows? I was like, we used to be young and that broke that woman. And we drove home from Saddle Ranch. She pulled the car into the carport, looked at me, we did not speak the whole ride, looked at me and goes,

• 19:20Speaker 01

  I ain't old yet and got naked in my car and fucked me in my car. And I, from that, so there's everything after Saddle Ranch, okay?

• 19:27Bunnie XO?

  Dolly Ann.

• 19:28Speaker 01

  But there's still hints of Dolly Ann, right? So like, like, like Dolly Ann would be like, hey, we should try something different. You want me to tie you up? And she'd go, no. And then it was over and you're like, okay.

• 19:38Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 19:39Speaker 01

  So like, so we go to, we go to, uh, Santa Monica, so I'm working out with Arnold the next morning. Really excited, the movie's coming out, a bunch of stuff's happening.

• 19:53Bunnie XO?

  Y'all know I'm always doing something to the house. And lately I've been working on our outdoor space. I'd been looking for something to pull the patio together when I found the Hardigan black and white outdoor rug on Wayfair. Once I put it down, I loved how the clean, modern geometric pattern completely pulled the space together without having to redo everything. Plus it's stain and water resistant, pet friendly, and you can literally hose it off when it gets dirty. Wayfair has something for every style and budget. And with customer photos and more than 20 million verified five star reviews, it makes finding the right piece so much easier. If your outdoor space feels unfinished, a good outdoor rug is definitely something I'd recommend. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards.

• 20:35Bunnie XO?

  Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R dot com.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Wayfair, every style, every home.

• 20:48Speaker 04

  Attention all new and existing members of the WDNC. I'm Melanie Sanders and this is the We Do Not Care Club Podcast. We got to midlife and realized we just simply do not care much anymore. Now, we gotta help each other make sense of hot flashes, dry coochie, chin hair, trifling families, brain fog, and bat wings. We are not alone and we will be heard. So come join the WDNC. Follow and listen to the We Do Not Care Club Podcast with Melanie Sanders wherever you get your podcasts.

• 21:18Speaker 01

  We go and we're kind of exploring sexually. We're starting to have more fun. I can't get into too much detail, but like, and so we go to the shutters and they have an intimacy kit. And I am very vulnerable. I'm, I, the reason I never talked during sex is I never felt safe during sex. I always felt like, I always felt like nervous and I didn't want you to know who I was. I wanted you to be cool with thinking of what I was. So I pull out the intimacy kit and we've had a couple of glasses of wine or whatever. And I go, and I said, hey, they have a feather. And she was like, yeah. And I go, you want me to rub you with a feather? And she went, no. And the way she said it shut me down and I went, okay.

• 22:01Speaker 01

  And then she saw that it hurt me and I think she saw that that wasn't the right direction for us. With the girls leaving and all that and just me or, and then she was like, she was like, hey, I didn't mean it like that. And but she saw that I was hurt and she kind of like rebounded. And I was like, listen, I don't even want to have sex. I just want to go to bed. Let's get, I got an early morning. Let's, and she's like, hey, no. And so then that night.

• 22:29Bunnie XO?

  This is the sweetest shit I've ever heard.

• 22:32Speaker 01

  Changed everything and now it's, uh, I, I have a feeling I'm wearing a feather hat right now as I say this.

• 22:38Bunnie XO?

  Yep, you are.

• 22:40Speaker 01

  Wish I picked a different hat.

• 22:41Bunnie XO?

  It was meant to be.

• 22:42Speaker 01

  It was meant to be, it was meant to be.

• 22:43Bunnie XO?

  It was meant to be.

• 22:44Speaker 01

  So, so now we text feathers to each other and, and that's our, our like emoji is a feather. And then so it lasts yesterday, I texted her a feather and then she goes, she called me and then she goes, I'm driving. But don't you have that hidden album? And I was like, yeah. She's like, well, enjoy your hidden album.

• 23:02Bunnie XO?

  I love Lea. She's amazing. If Lea had to write a Yelp review of you guys' sex life, what would she say?

• 23:12Bunnie XO?

  Is Bert speechless?

• 23:14Speaker 01

  This mom and pops, this mom and pop restaurant has gotten so much better with AIDS.

• 23:20Bunnie XO?

  I love that. That is amazing.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  It's not for everybody.

• 23:25Bunnie XO?

  I love that you guys are empty nesters though, and you can tell that you guys are so much closer and having so much fun because like I see you guys like running around Paris and just you're naked all the time and like clothes are strewn around hotel rooms. Like I think that's so inspiring because how long have you guys been together?

• 23:42Speaker 01

  Georgia's 21. We had Georgia. Georgia was technically at our wedding. So, uh, we've been together 21 years, but we were together two years before that. So probably 23 years.

• 23:51Bunnie XO?

  I mean, and to keep the love alive, especially in a Hollywood relationship is crazy. And the closeness that like, she's your best friend. I can tell by the way that you talk about her.

• 24:00Speaker 01

  I'm always blown away by that though.

• 24:01Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 24:02Speaker 01

  Like I always go like, so I used to have this thing where if whatever relationship I was, I was never happy in relationships. And I thought, I figured that was just what life was, but that you'd always want the bigger house, the, the bigger yard, the bigger nicer car and the better and the hotter wife and the hotter girlfriend and the sexier girlfriend. And that was what college was like for me. I never was happy with where I was. I, I used to have a saying, I always wanted to be in the other car. Like I'd get in the car with my girlfriend and I, whatever car I saw with another girl, I go, I wish I was in that car. And the other day we're driving to Naples. Listen, I'm not, I'm not shitting on my wife. I'm just telling you like it is. We're driving to Naples. She's 56, 55, 56, 50, I don't know. She's like 55, 56.

• 24:45Speaker 01

  We're in a convertible. She's got her arms, she's got a little dangle meat right here. She, her chin's like this and she looks like she's got a scalp. She looks like a frog and she's like, and she's got sunspots. And for whatever reason.

• 24:59Bunnie XO?

  Sunspots.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  For whatever reason, I'm just sitting there going, this is the car I want to be in. And I was like, I can't, I say that to her all the time. I go, can you believe that I still love you? Like it's crazy. You're not supposed to love someone this long. Like people get divorced and get new wives. I've seen it so many times.

• 25:15Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, we did too.

• 25:16Speaker 01

  But I'm like, for whatever reason, this fucking jalopy that I married, I fucking love. It's so crazy.

• 25:22Bunnie XO?

  She makes you feel safe. You guys feel safe. And I don't care what anybody says. That other car gets old. The minute you get in that other car, guess what? That girl gets older, that car gets older. Like you found your safe space and that is so important. I think in relationships where people don't realize like, If you can laugh together, grow old together, fucking be each other's like just sounding boards. Like even when you guys have arguments, the way you guys resolve things, the, what did you guys call it? The pulpit or the summit, the summit, you know, like all of that, like those are examples of what? And I, I find it crazy that you and Lea, well, you, Leanne definitely, but you guys are great examples of what like a long lasting relationship should look like. It's healthy.

• 26:04Speaker 01

  I think we have definitely have a healthy relationship. We have a very, you know, the thing I, I keep saying is like, I, you know, I don't know if I'd have the interest in investing this much time with someone.

• 26:16Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 26:17Speaker 01

  Again, like if I, if something happened to our relationship and I, I can't imagine it ever happening. But if something happened, I, I would never want, I don't care to invest this, we have so many good inside jokes.

• 26:27Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  It's like, all I have to do to this woman is go, oh, and she knows, it says, that says 12 stories.

• 26:36Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  You know, if, if you, like, if I'm in a bad mood, she can go poo poo pants. And immediately I'm like, God damn it. So like, there's so much nuance to the, the beauty of a long relationship is you have so many great inside jokes and, and she's better than anything. I mean, look, you know, you get your franchise playing years in every sport as a parent or as a person. I have my high school years. I have my college years. I have my young comedy years. I have my single comedy years. I had my dating years in Hollywood. I had my dating years of Leanne. I had married to Leanne. I had dad and now I have empty nest dad. Out of all those years, I'd say my best years are happening right now. Right now are my best years.

• 27:23Speaker 01

  Her best years without a doubt, it's, and it gets her sad when I bring it up. She was the best mom, better mom than you've ever seen. This woman took it so serious to be a mom. That she's created this crazy, great relationship with our girls and me that she fostered. She didn't have it growing up. She made it. She didn't. She was, uh, she's, you know, she's fucking still running Girl Scout troop meetings because when Georgia and Isla started Girl Scouts, there were girls in kindergarten who wanted to be in, and she didn't want to leave those girls. There's girls, my girls were in college. Leanne's still a Girl Scout troop leader because she had a commitment to these kids than when they

• 28:07Speaker 01

  were in kindergarten. So like she, she's, she's pretty awesome. I like her.

• 28:12Bunnie XO?

  She's the best. Can we talk about your dating life in Hollywood before Leanne? What was that like?

• 28:17Speaker 01

  It was a mess. It was so stupid.

• 28:19Bunnie XO?

  What was, explain to me what era of Burt that was.

• 28:24Speaker 01

  That was, um, so, uh, uh, so I, just so we put everything on the table so we know where we're standing. I've only had sex with six chicks. Okay. So I'm not, I'm, it's because the first time I had sex, it went so poorly that I was like not doing that with anyone else unless I really trust them.

• 28:43Bunnie XO?

  What happened? Cause I had the worst first time too. But I mean, we see where it landed me. So I went the complete opposite of you, Burt.

• 28:52Speaker 01

  I think when you have bad ones the first time and it's good for you.

• 28:55Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, right.

• 28:56Speaker 01

  It creates, it creates texture.

• 28:58Bunnie XO?

  What happened? Can we talk about it?

• 29:00Speaker 01

  Yeah, it was, it was just, I mean, it's just, it's comedy really. It's like, it's like American Pie almost.

• 29:04Bunnie XO?

  How old were you?

• 29:05Speaker 01

  Seventeen years old. I had thought about this.

• 29:08Bunnie XO?

  We were late bloomers. I didn't have, I didn't lose my virginity till 16.

• 29:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:11Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 29:12Speaker 01

  So, yes, I wanted it. At 14, I was ready. I thought I was ready. 15, I'm like, okay, any minute now. At 16, I'm like, maybe I'm gay. It's, I was like, this, why isn't this happening? What, what is happening? At 17, I was like, all right, I met a girl and I knew she had had had sex. So I was like, all right, this is a possibility. We started dating. She was like the hottest girl at our school or at the girl's school. I went to an all boys Catholic high school and then. That night, we went to her friend's dad's crash pad. Like her dad had like a bachelor pad. I don't know. Um, and double date. And then, uh, we watched Pet Sematary.

• 29:51Bunnie XO?

  That'll get you in the mood.

• 29:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, right. Case of Natty Light. And, uh, we went back to the room and I was, I, I went in, got her naked, went to put the condom on. And as I put the condom on, I'd never done it. So I unrolled it all the way and was like, whoa, that's what neighborhood did we buy this in? Bigger than I thought it would be. I'd never seen one. I'd never put a, you don't put condoms on if you're not going to use one.

• 30:16Bunnie XO?

  And they, back in the day, they didn't teach us that in school.

• 30:18Speaker 01

  No.

• 30:20Speaker 01

  At an old boys Catholic high school, do you know what they showed us freshman year? A third trimester abortion. On TV, we sat through and watched the whole abortion.

• 30:29Bunnie XO?

  Where was this?

• 30:30Speaker 01

  Jesuit High School.

• 30:31Bunnie XO?

  In Cali?

• 30:32Speaker 01

  In Tampa.

• 30:33Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  We watched a third trimester, everybody. That is when the baby is fully formed.

• 30:37Bunnie XO?

  I know. That's crazy. I can't even believe they did that.

• 30:40Speaker 01

  Oh my God. I can't believe it happened either. To be dead honest with you, I texted Ty Rodriguez one time. I was like, did we watch an abortion as kids? And he was like, yep. But so I go to put the condom on and I just go, oh, you must slide it on, right? Is that, cause I, you remember in Revenge of the Nerds when they were all the way unwrapped and they went like this?

• 31:01Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 31:01Speaker 01

  I figured that's how you do it.

• 31:02Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 31:03Speaker 01

  And then it filled with air and I'm like, that, that can't be good. Cause there's air trapped in there. So I'm trying to squeeze the air out. Now I'm making balloon animals down there.

• 31:11Speaker 01

  And then I'm like, all right, all right, this condom's done. All right. So I get another condom. I put that on. That one, I remember putting the condom on felt good.

• 31:20Speaker 01

  I get on top of her and it's one and on the withdrawal, I just, I'm like, uh.

• 31:29Bunnie XO?

  Was she a virgin too? Or she was, okay.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  She looked at me and said, are you going to put it in?

• 31:39Speaker 01

  My dick was between her butt cheek and the bed. I didn't even fuck a person.

• 31:45Bunnie XO?

  Bert, I want to hug you right now. You poor baby.

• 31:49Speaker 01

  I'm seventeen years old and I'm like, what the fuck? I mean, now, listen, I can go into wild, great detail of how the next thirty minutes transcended, but suffice to say, I didn't have another condom. We still had sex. It was a fucking nightmare. I mean, I could tell you things that you would not believe. I mean, it was so bad, top to bottom. I did.

• 32:21Speaker 01

  Um, I, I'll tell you this, and if you need to bleep, bleep, bleep it for, just for, God forbid, any reason, at the end, when I got done, I, when I, I figured she had had an orgasm, I figured maybe.

• 32:33Bunnie XO?

  You finally got it in, though.

• 32:35Speaker 01

  I, I, yeah, but it's like going, it's like going, hey, you want to go for a hike? And someone's like, yeah, let's jump in the river, get our socks wet first. And you're like, oh, this will be a fun hike.

• 32:42Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no.

• 32:43Speaker 01

  I'm like, in my head, I'm like, I don't think this is how you're supposed to use condom. Am I getting her pregnant? And then, and then I get done, I pull it out, and it's still there. The condom's still there. It's not on me. It's in there.

• 32:52Bunnie XO?

  It's in her.

• 32:52Speaker 01

  And I'm pulling, pulling, tug of war, tug of war, snap, hits my hand, hits off the thing, and hits on a fucking mirror. I swear to God. And I'm sitting there going, oh. I walked into, into the bathroom from that bedroom. I looked in the mirror. I was like, who the fuck are you? I would literally have like a, like, that's not how it's supposed to be done, big guy. We thought we'd be better at this.

• 33:12Bunnie XO?

  You poor baby.

• 33:13Speaker 01

  And then I had my first anxiety attacks. After that, I started getting anxiety attacks. I was like, I have AIDS. I have, I got her pregnant. I'm not ready to be a parent. I'm never doing this again. And like.

• 33:25Bunnie XO?

  So you think that that situation caused so much like PTSD for you that it literally sent you into panic attack spirals?

• 33:32Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. And I was like. I'm never having, I'm not gonna have sex again unless I'm dating them and I'm willing to have a kid with them in my head. And so I waited another probably two years to have sex and then had sex freshman year of college and then dated that chick for like five years.

• 33:50Bunnie XO?

  Cause you just felt you, you were so scared to even try to go anywhere else.

• 33:53Speaker 01

  I was like, she likes what I do. I was like, you know, it's almost like if you're bad at karaoke.

• 33:57Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 33:57Speaker 01

  And you're not the one going, hey, let's go to karaoke bars.

• 33:59Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 34:00Speaker 01

  Then you'll go to them, but you're like, I'd rather not sing.

• 34:02Bunnie XO?

  And then you'll get up on stage when you're drunk, you know, when you're comfortable.

• 34:05Speaker 01

  And then, and then.

• 34:06Bunnie XO?

  I had to pop my own cherry the first time I had sex.

• 34:08Speaker 01

  I never understood what a cherry was. I've never been with a virgin.

• 34:11Bunnie XO?

  Okay, so.

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Closest I've ever been is I rented a car that had 14 miles.

• 34:14Bunnie XO?

  So, and so when the woman, when you have sex with a woman, that's a virgin for the first time, she has this piece of skin called a hymen. When the penis goes in, it rips the skin, we bleed and that's how you know that you're with a virgin or whatever. So, yeah, that, my first time, the guy who I was with had, and this is in my book, had a micro penis. I'm talking like half of my pinky. Like it was very tiny. And listen, and I'm not shaming anybody with a micro penis, you know, we'll never yuck anybody's yum. Some people are into those. But you know, the first time you have sex, you kind of need depth to pop the hymen. And he just couldn't do it. So I threw him down on a lawn chair and straddled him and popped my own cherry. And that is how my sex escapades in life started.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Wow.

• 34:58Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 34:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, I, I never got, I don't think I ever got comfortable having sex with someone until the end. Like where, where I was like, actually, I've said this a lot. I've said this to her recently. I, I mean, it's, it sounds really creepy to hear from a guy who's been married to her for 21 years, but I say, I've said it a lot lately. Thank you so much for letting me be who I am in bed because I never, I never ever spoke during sex. I never tried anything, if anything adventurous. I never tried it. Cause I was just like, I was like, I don't want to hear no. I don't want to fuck up. I just want to keep it on the rails. And now. She has allowed me, and by within, in the twilight of our marriage, meaning like after,

• 35:44Speaker 01

  not when we were first started dating, not when we were young and we could have taken pictures and it would have been great. Like now she's allowed me to be who I am and I was never, I would, I have no interest in starting that journey with anyone else.

• 35:56Bunnie XO?

  I love that. I just hearing that you've only been with six women in your entire life is mind blowing to me and I think that'll be mind blowing to other people too because you're friggin' Bert Kreischer, you're the machine. You're Van Wilder was literally, you inspired that movie, which is crazy to me because I grew up watching that movie and that was one of my favorite movies. And then when I found out that it was inspired by you, I was like, this is friggin' full circle. Like it's so crazy, but you and my husband are a lot alike in so many ways. And I think it's, yeah, oh no, you guys are like, he's the same way with, Jason cut this out, but he's the same way sexually too. Like, you know, he's, and now that he's lost all his weight, he's like, starting to explore and I'm just like, use me, use me and abuse me, baby. But he told me that you invited him to go do something with some CrossFit people. Yeah, I don't know if we're allowed to talk about

• 36:41Bunnie XO?

  that, but.

• 36:42Speaker 01

  There's these twin CrossFit women that live here in, I think out by here and they have a gym and they invited us to work out. And I was like, yo, let me hit Jelly, see if he wants to go.

• 36:52Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 36:52Speaker 01

  And he was like, not with this face.

• 36:55Bunnie XO?

  My poor baby shaved his beard and so the, the internet has it all wrong. He hasn't seen his face in 20 years. So he doesn't know what he looked like under there. And he's like, baby, after I do this photo shoot, the men's health cover, he's like, I'm gonna shave my beard and I want to see what it looks like. And I'm like, okay, okay. And so we go in the bathroom and he just starts, you know, shaving and he looked so hot, Burt with a fucking cop stash. Oh my God. It was like his mullet and the cop stash. I was like, ooh. And then he shaves and the goatee was hot too. And then he shaves it off and it fucking changed everything. I was like, it's not terrible because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but then we walk out and the kid starts crying. Bailey starts crying and is just like, oh my God, dad, don't ever do that. Have you, when was

• 37:39Bunnie XO?

  the last time you shaved your face?

• 37:41Speaker 01

  So the last time I shaved it was, uh, Like right when my life changed. So like I always, I always say there's like, you know, I look at things and I do this dramatically, like Leanne roll her eyes. There was a phrase where I said, there's two, there's two parts of my life. There's life before I knew about black widow spiders and life after I knew about black widow spiders. So our house was infested with black widow spiders and my OCD was insane. And then I, and then we got past it. No one got bit and I went, okay. But I say this with my career. There's life before I posted the machine story and life after. And that one day that I posted machine, that week was a crazy fucking week for me. In that, and it's all represented by Creedence Clear

• 38:26Speaker 01

  Order Revival. That's the music defines that one week.

• 38:29Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 38:30Speaker 01

  But it 2016, December 27th, that week, I posted the machine story. I was doing New Year's Eve at, at Oxnard. No one showed up. They were paying me 25 grand and they lost their ass on it. And I knew that was going to come back for my next year. So I was like, I'm fucked financially next year. I'd gotten fired from Travel Channel. My special didn't perform. Leanne was redoing our house and she wanted to get me to get a vasectomy, all in this one week. And Tom was fat shaming me and we were doing Rogan to weigh in and the loser was getting his beard shaved off.

• 39:05Bunnie XO?

  Oh, that's a lot of stress.

• 39:07Speaker 01

  It was so much stress and, and I.

• 39:11Bunnie XO?

  Why did Leanne have to throw in the vasectomy on top of all of that? It was a must?

• 39:17Speaker 01

  I was like, I remember we got the dumbest fight. I was like, does stuff still come out? She goes, does it matter? I go, yeah, I'm not paying for procedures. Every time I'm having an orgasm, it looks like my dick has a dry heaves.

• 39:26Bunnie XO?

  It's like dust.

• 39:27Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 39:27Bunnie XO?

  Just like the fairy dust, like glitter sprinkles.

• 39:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so she, and so then we went and we weighed in with Joe three times. Tom won the first one, or no, two times. Tom won the second one. And then he got to shave my beard. Now you can find this online. It is, Tom and I have like through, we have like probably 10 times we've laughed the hardest together. This is.

• 39:57Speaker 01

  In my memory, number two, this is the second hardest we've ever laughed together. Is Tom shaved my beard and he got to see what I looked like first. I didn't get to see it. And his eyes were like, it's not good. And I started laughing so hard. You can see that if you watch this video.

• 40:15Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  I think Rogan shot it on his phone, but it is two guys who absolutely love each other. Having a moment of just pure comedy.

• 40:24Bunnie XO?

  Can we bring this up?

• 40:24Speaker 01

  I it's I, yeah, I don't know if you can find it.

• 40:26Bunnie XO?

  We have a TV right here that we can look at it up. I have to see what you look like without a beard.

• 40:31Speaker 01

  But what's, you know, it gets worse. Don't even find the video because it's not worth it's.

• 40:37Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 40:39Speaker 01

  I get the beard shaved. Tom leaves me with a pit, a thin mustache. I get out of the car and Isla's in the front yard. She had to be 10 years old and she goes, you look like a pervert.

• 40:50Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no.

• 40:51Speaker 01

  And I said, how do you know what a pervert looks like? She goes, I'm staring at one right now. And it was, it was, but what's crazy about it? So then I shaved the mustache. I shaved, I shaved clean. And then I look in the mirror and it's bizarre. I mean, there's gotta be a therapy term for this. I have not seen that kid since college. I haven't seen him since early, like freshman year of college. When I started going to goatee, I was 21. I haven't seen that kid. And at the time, it must have been, you know, 25 years.

• 41:25Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 41:25Speaker 01

  And I looked at him and I had a conversation with him and I was like, dude, what have you been doing? And he was like, and he was like, he was like, I've been watching you. And I was like, I was so, I got emotional because I was like, I was like, dude, we're, I went, it was almost like time traveling. I was like, hey man, we're doing really good. Like we just like, it's rough right now, but things are going to turn around. And then the machine story went viral. And I was like, I was like, I think things are looking, I was, I had a time travel conversation with myself. It's a crazy thing that not anyone gets to do, but these men that have had beards for 25 years.

• 41:59Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 41:59Speaker 01

  Get to look back into the looking glass and see what they looked like and talk to themselves. It was. Wild. I got high. I was high as fuck.

• 42:08Bunnie XO?

  Were you on mushrooms?

• 42:09Speaker 01

  No, we had just done Rogan.

• 42:10Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 42:11Speaker 01

  And I was very high and I was drunk and I went in and I shaved clean and I looked at myself and I had this bizarre. Cause I kiss myself in the mirror sometimes.

• 42:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 42:20Speaker 01

  When I feel bad, I'll, I'll, I'll lean in and I'll kiss myself.

• 42:22Bunnie XO?

  It's like an affirmation.

• 42:23Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah.

• 42:24Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 42:25Speaker 01

  And so, uh, but it was crazy. And I thought when I saw his face, I was like, I wonder what, I wonder who he saw.

• 42:33Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 42:33Speaker 01

  Like who was that last, cause I bet, I, I don't, I was like, I don't think he's ever been, it's been a while since he'd been that skinny too.

• 42:42Bunnie XO?

  Who, Jay?

• 42:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 42:43Bunnie XO?

  Oh yeah. No, it's been cra- he's so tiny now. Like it's crazy. Um, he hasn't been this skinny ever in his entire life. His wiener has grown. Like it's, I'm like, where did that come from? Like it hurts now. I'm like, what is happening, dude?

• 42:58Speaker 01

  I'm so, you know, I was saying to someone, they're like, you know, said something, I, I casually will say, I just say jelly.

• 43:06Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 43:06Speaker 01

  I'm never gonna, I have friends that I know that they're real names, but I never say the thing. I'd say the thing that I met when I met them, right?

• 43:11Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 43:11Speaker 01

  Cause you said jelly and someone goes, oh, have you seen his weight loss? And I was like, yeah. And like, no, no, have you, no, have you been tracking it?

• 43:17Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 43:18Speaker 01

  Yeah. And they're like, no, oh, I was on an airplane. I was on an airplane and I was saying, uh, we were, the guy was talking about Diplo having a 5K.

• 43:26Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 43:27Speaker 01

  And I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I ran a 5K with, uh, I run a 5K with my buddies, Tom and Jelly. And they were like, he was like, oh, dude, Jelly roll? And I went, yeah. He was like, have you seen his weight loss? And I was like, yeah, yeah, of course. And he was like, no, no, no, no. Have you, you, you, yeah. Have you seen a picture though? And they started pulling pictures into my head. I was like, I was like, yeah, I've been there. It's intimate to me.

• 43:48Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 43:48Speaker 01

  Cause I remember that moment. I have to share this with a bunch of people, but the four of us crossed that finish line.

• 43:55Bunnie XO?

  You inspired him a lot.

• 43:56Speaker 01

  You said, I think you might've changed his life. And Jelly's like,

• 44:03Speaker 01

  I think this changed my life. I mean, it's the accomplishment of of doing a 5K when you're at that size.

• 44:08Bunnie XO?

  Listen, I did the 5K with you guys and can barely keep up.

• 44:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 44:12Bunnie XO?

  Travis Barker is just running laps around us.

• 44:14Speaker 01

  He ran it. We didn't even know he ran it. He ran it and like, he got up, ran it and then left.

• 44:18Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, no fucking problem. We're like, we see him pass us twice and we're still on the same fricking loop. It was, it was a lot, dude.

• 44:24Speaker 01

  It was a lot.

• 44:24Bunnie XO?

  But that day, that really was like, you have been such a good role model for Jay and such an inspiration for him because even just inviting him to that 5K just lit a fire under his ass. And he's like Forrest. That boy has not stopped running. He literally woke up this morning and went running. You know, like he's just, it was, it's a beautiful moment and I can't wait till he can actually tell the whole story of like how it's inspired him and stuff like that. You had a huge role in that.

• 44:48Speaker 01

  Well, I have, I mean, are, you know, he said, what he said, seven phones since I've first known him.

• 44:52Bunnie XO?

  You, you have to get a hold of me. That's why.

• 44:54Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, I gave up.

• 44:55Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 44:56Speaker 01

  I gave up.

• 44:56Bunnie XO?

  Everybody, like literally Jon Bon Jovi just texted me the other day. He's like, hey, can you tell Jay this? But he's got Jay's number, but it's like, you know, like people always have to text me because then the message will get to him. He, I don't even keep up with all of his phones either. What inspired you to start these 5Ks?

• 45:12Speaker 01

  Oh, I wish I had a noble answer.

• 45:16Bunnie XO?

  Because like it's become like a huge thing. The one that we ended up going to, there was a ton of people there. Now it's like people really look forward to it.

• 45:23Speaker 01

  I think we had 9,000 in Tampa.

• 45:25Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 45:26Speaker 01

  Which is crazy. I mean, that's like, uh, for people to go run, that's pretty wild. In all honesty, we were doing a podcast, me and Tom, and, and I had gone to shows and I'd done these meet and greets. And I was like, my fans are like me. I was like, we need to get in shape. And I thought very selfishly, if I don't get them in shape, I'm not going to have a fan base in 10 years.

• 45:46Bunnie XO?

  Aww.

• 45:47Speaker 01

  I was like, I was like, I gotta get them in shape because I still want to do stand up.

• 45:51Bunnie XO?

  I love your logic. He's like, I don't need to get into shape, but I need to get my fans into shape.

• 45:55Speaker 01

  I need them more than they need me. They yell, I love you, Bird. I go, I love you way more than you love me. I can't operate without you. I get nothing without you. You are the most important thing to me. So I said to Tom, we need to get our fans in shape on the podcast. And he was like, yeah. Tom had just run his first 5K with his buddy had cancer and he said he'd do it for his buddy. And Tom blew up about it. Now, I had been doing 5Ks, marathons, half marathons, triathlons, Spartan race, tough. I did the first Tough Mudder they held. I did that. Like, I've always been into that culture and I've and

• 46:31Bunnie XO?

  You're an athletic big guy. I don't even think you're like big. You just have your little tummy. That's it.

• 46:36Speaker 01

  I'm shockingly athletic. I'm surprisingly athletic.

• 46:40Bunnie XO?

  So is my husband. I call him an agile big guy.

• 46:42Speaker 01

  Yeah. And so I, and I've always done it because the party afterwards a blast. The party after, the best race you can run is half marathon. It really tests you. It really pushes you and the party after is awesome.

• 46:57Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 46:58Speaker 01

  At marathon, never do another one again. Unless Jelly does one, I'll do one with him.

• 47:01Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, he's gonna do one. You should do. I think he wants to do, what is it, a 10 or 20? He wants to do one where I have to go meet him at the stops or something like that. I don't, listen, let him get it out of his system. He wants to do it. He wants to skydive too. I'm not doing that. Will you skydive with him?

• 47:16Speaker 01

  No.

• 47:17Bunnie XO?

  Okay, me either.

• 47:18Speaker 01

  I've skydived twice. It's not worth it.

• 47:19Bunnie XO?

  Really?

• 47:20Speaker 01

  Hang on.

• 47:22Speaker 01

  He, it, it will give him something that it wouldn't give you.

• 47:26Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 47:26Speaker 01

  It will give you something he could never get and you would get. And I, I, I edit whatever you want out of this, but me and you have very similar brains. And I know that because of anytime Jelly's hit his dab rig. We have very similar brains.

• 47:43Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 47:43Speaker 01

  We have a little bit of an OCD to us.

• 47:45Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I have a lot.

• 47:46Speaker 01

  I know you do. I know you do. And I, and I do as well.

• 47:50Bunnie XO?

  Where does your OCD stem from?

• 47:51Speaker 01

  Same. I don't know. For a very long time, I could not, I, the first time I ever smoked marijuana, not first time, but like the fifth time, I had the weirdest panic attack I've ever had in my entire life.

• 48:01Bunnie XO?

  Oh, God, I did that with a gravity bong hit one time.

• 48:03Speaker 01

  And, and from that point in high school and until,

• 48:12Speaker 01

  I'm almost embarrassed saying this.

• 48:16Speaker 01

  Until I was probably thirty seven, maybe forty. I couldn't, if you've smoked weed around me, I would feel it.

• 48:27Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 48:28Speaker 01

  I would, I would, I could feel it in my throat.

• 48:30Bunnie XO?

  I'm the same way.

• 48:30Speaker 01

  And, and I, and I could not be around it. And it was doing Rogan's podcast where I was like, I have to, I can't not be in a room where people smoke weed. This is crazy.

• 48:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 48:41Speaker 01

  And so I started smoking, like almost microdose smoking weed, just so that I could be around it in these podcasts. I love doing the podcast.

• 48:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 48:51Speaker 01

  And everyone in LA was smoking weed at the time.

• 48:53Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 48:53Speaker 01

  And.

• 48:54Bunnie XO?

  That's a good idea though, because they say that for OCD exposure therapy is the best way to get yourself over that thing that you are OCD about.

• 49:03Speaker 01

  Yeah. But the thing you, the reason you don't want to skydive is the same reason I didn't want to skydive. And it is why if you skydive, it is the craziest conversation you get to hear in your head. It is, you're, there is a moment of pure.

• 49:20Bunnie XO?

  I feel like I'd croak up there.

• 49:21Speaker 01

  There's pure clarity.

• 49:22Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 49:23Speaker 01

  Pure clarity. When you jump out and you're screaming at the earth and you realize the dice have been rolled. You, you, there's no fixedness.

• 49:35Bunnie XO?

  Oh, fuck.

• 49:35Speaker 01

  There's no, there's no.

• 49:36Bunnie XO?

  I'm croaking right there.

• 49:38Speaker 01

  Pill I can take to, to, to retrofit this death. I either am going to die or live. And how do I accept that moment?

• 49:46Bunnie XO?

  I don't want to be in that position.

• 49:48Speaker 01

  It's a crazy realization and dare I say worth it to do it once. Don't do it twice. I did it twice. And the second time I was like, I've already been here. Why are we doing this again? This is stupid. I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

• 49:59Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 50:00Speaker 01

  This guy doesn't know my boundaries.

• 50:01Bunnie XO?

  I have an extreme fear of heights. So there's like, I cannot.

• 50:04Speaker 01

  I have a.

• 50:07Speaker 01

  I'm telling you when I say you should do it. You should do it only because.

• 50:13Bunnie XO?

  I want to think thinking about it.

• 50:15Speaker 01

  It's the plane ride up is horrific.

• 50:18Bunnie XO?

  And it's one of those rickety ass planes, right?

• 50:21Speaker 01

  And no one cares. Even though like everyone's got parachutes on, so they're like, hey, hey. And then when they opened the door, I did it. First time I did it was with Rachael Ray. And when they opened the door and they, and the crazy thing is they go put your hands on your, you know, you're stuck because they don't want you grabbing things.

• 50:39Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 50:39Speaker 01

  And you put your hands on and then they are, we're going to get out to the edge. And you are outside of the plane. You are outside of the plane and he is in and he's holding on, but you are, you're out. You're, it's already started for you.

• 50:50Bunnie XO?

  Oh, and there's no turning back. They don't let you not jump.

• 50:55Speaker 05

  I hope I don't have to cancel again tonight.

• 50:57Speaker 06

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• 51:42Speaker 06

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• 51:56Speaker 01

  No, they don't let you.

• 51:57Bunnie XO?

  Oh, God.

• 51:58Speaker 01

  No, buddy, they don't let you not jump. The dude's already strapped into you. He's going.

• 52:02Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 52:03Speaker 01

  He's not going to land the plane with you.

• 52:05Bunnie XO?

  Got my buttholes puckered right now.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Do you know who Mel Robbins is?

• 52:08Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 52:09Speaker 01

  She is awesome.

• 52:10Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 52:11Speaker 01

  And she wrote a book called Let Them and and there's control things in it. And it's one of those control things that I had.

• 52:19Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 52:20Speaker 01

  It was great. And I did it the second time and I take her to leave it the second time. I was like, I already had the experience and nothing wasn't for for people like me and you. The first time's the one that the doing it.

• 52:31Bunnie XO?

  Just the initial jumping off the, you know.

• 52:34Speaker 01

  Jump off. Have you jumped off a like a 10 meter high dive?

• 52:38Bunnie XO?

  No, uh, I no, not a 10 meter. I'm trying to think because I was on a diving team when I was younger, but I don't think it was that.

• 52:44Speaker 01

  That's the platform that high, high.

• 52:46Bunnie XO?

  No, not that.

• 52:47Speaker 01

  That's terrifying.

• 52:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I couldn't even imagine the fucking with my luck and the shape of my ass. If I even turn the wrong way, I am fucking belly flopping or back flopping. There's no in between. Okay, I'm going one way or the other. There's no straight line for me, buddy. Not happening. All right. So we never, we never did this game.

• 53:06Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Porn, porn, porn. God, I told you I'm the worst at interviews because I derail so easily.

• 53:11Bunnie XO?

  I loved it. We it's a beautiful conversation, but this is, is it a porn category or an energy drink flavor? All right, ready? And it's rapid fire. So you just have to say porn, energy drink, cream pie crush.

• 53:23Speaker 01

  That's porn.

• 53:24Bunnie XO?

  Hardline.

• 53:26Speaker 01

  That's flavor.

• 53:28Bunnie XO?

  Titty sprinkles.

• 53:29Speaker 01

  That's porn.

• 53:31Bunnie XO?

  Wet works.

• 53:32Speaker 01

  Porn.

• 53:33Bunnie XO?

  Milk fuel.

• 53:34Speaker 01

  Porn.

• 53:35Bunnie XO?

  Red dragon.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  That's energy.

• 53:38Bunnie XO?

  Wrong. Bang bus.

• 53:40Speaker 01

  That's porn.

• 53:42Bunnie XO?

  Good job. You did really good. I really thought the hard line was going to catch you.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  No.

• 53:48Bunnie XO?

  I thought the hard line was going to get you. He's like, nope, that's an energy drink. Um, I've been asking you a couple more questions, just some fun questions that we can get some answers to. What is? Um, the dumbest thing that you've ever done naked that you're willing to admit today.

• 54:03Speaker 01

  Yeah, so much. I've done so much naked.

• 54:05Bunnie XO?

  I know. That's why I thought it was a great question because literally what haven't you done naked is pretty much what.

• 54:10Speaker 01

  You know, they've all panned out for me.

• 54:12Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 54:12Speaker 01

  Like I took a shit on a pizza box to win an election in college and uh, and it worked out. You know, I won the election A and then B it got written up in Rolling Stone and became like, kinda like folklore. So like, I think, you know, I've, I, I got turned on and naked pretty young at like, I wasn't comfortable with my body looked like. And then when I was a freshman in college, there was this dude, I won't say his name. So I've said it a bunch and he's a huge hedge fund guy in Miami.

• 54:41Bunnie XO?

  Oh, fuck.

• 54:41Speaker 01

  And I, and he apparently.

• 54:42Bunnie XO?

  Does he want to be associated with you or no?

• 54:45Speaker 01

  He was in my fraternity. I, I don't know. He, he was older than me, but he would get naked all the time. And he was, and he didn't have a big dick. And I was like, that's crazy that he gets naked and he doesn't have a big dick. And someone goes, that's not a big dick? And I went, no. And he's like, oh, I figured, cause he pulls it out, it's big. And then I realized no guy has a big dick.

• 55:04Bunnie XO?

  I think Leanne told us that you were swiped up.

• 55:06Speaker 01

  I'm, I'm okay.

• 55:07Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 55:07Speaker 01

  But Leanne, but uh, but, and so I just was like, oh, that's a power move. It's like with guys, not with girls, not to do, but with guys, it's like drop chow and then.

• 55:17Bunnie XO?

  Like Greek times.

• 55:18Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. And so I had, I was one of those guys. I'm in the group of guys that getting naked didn't, never bothered me.

• 55:25Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 55:25Speaker 01

  And now I almost have a problem with it. Like I get, like Kyle woke me up the other day with his mom in our tour bus. And it's a true story. And he goes, he was at his childhood home and he wanted me to wake up to see it. We were in the bus and I heard him go, he's awake. He's naked, but he's awake. So like I sleep naked. The dumbest thing I've ever done naked probably was a slip and slide. I cut, I sliced my ass.

• 55:51Bunnie XO?

  Hole?

• 55:51Speaker 01

  No, uh, no, the, the tailbone, bad.

• 55:55Bunnie XO?

  Oh, my God.

• 55:57Speaker 01

  I've, I fell off the bed one time having sex with Leanne and landed on a razor and I cut my ass open pretty aggressively.

• 56:04Bunnie XO?

  What the hell was a razor doing on the ground?

• 56:09Bunnie XO?

  Got it.

• 56:10Speaker 01

  Let's just say they call me the barber of Seville.

• 56:12Bunnie XO?

  That is hilarious. What comedian would you least want to see naked?

• 56:18Speaker 01

  I've seen Tom naked.

• 56:20Bunnie XO?

  Who smells worse on tour, you or Tom?

• 56:22Speaker 01

  Oh, it's gonna be me.

• 56:24Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 56:24Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, Tom, Tom's.

• 56:25Bunnie XO?

  He's like, I'm taking that out.

• 56:26Speaker 01

  Tom's a very fancy boy.

• 56:27Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 56:28Speaker 01

  Tom is, Tom, there's two versions of Tom. There's hot sauce in his back pack, back pocket, Tom. And then there's like, oh, my God, I have money, Tom.

• 56:36Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 56:37Speaker 01

  Like, he was the funnest person to watch get rich because he was poor for so long. And then one day he was like, dude, you know, I could have two chargers for an iPhone. I don't have to plug it in the wall and then walk over there to charge my. Like, he was like, he was the funniest person to watch get rich. Because then he'd be like, like, yo, I can buy stuff I don't need.

• 56:59Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 56:59Speaker 01

  But he is like cologne, shower, uh, fresh clothes laid out.

• 57:05Bunnie XO?

  Is he like Metro?

• 57:06Speaker 01

  Uh, now, now he's very, he talks his shirt in now.

• 57:09Bunnie XO?

  What the hell?

• 57:10Speaker 01

  I know. He is, he is a, uh, he's very, a very, very, very clean guy.

• 57:15Bunnie XO?

  Wow, I would have never guessed that.

• 57:16Speaker 01

  I am not. I love when my body smells.

• 57:18Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 57:19Speaker 01

  I love a good.

• 57:20Bunnie XO?

  You're like a brute. You're like a real just, you're just a boy's boy.

• 57:23Speaker 01

  You have to be into men if you have sex with me.

• 57:26Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 57:26Speaker 01

  Like you have, like Leanne, like, likes men, like she, she doesn't like, like, boys.

• 57:31Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  She's like, when we first started dating, I was, uh, I was, I was shaving like my be, my, my face. She was like, hey, you're a man, let it grow a little bit. And so then I started lining it. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're a man, let it grow.

• 57:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 57:48Speaker 01

  So my beard today, and I was trimming my hair on my chest. She was like, no, be a man. Like Leanne likes a man.

• 57:54Bunnie XO?

  I love that Leanne, like, keeps you in check. She doesn't let you, like, you know, do anything crazy. Like, she always has your best interests.

• 58:01Speaker 01

  One time, one time we were at a party and there was coke. And I said, yo, there's coke. She goes, okay. And I was like, well, I'm just giving you a heads up. She's like, you can do it if you want. And I was like, wait, for real? She was like, yeah, I'm not your mom. And I was like, okay. She goes, but listen, if you do it, you can't come home tonight. And I was like, uh, don't worry.

• 58:24Speaker 01

  Don't worry.

• 58:24Bunnie XO?

  Why won't she? Let you home when you're

• 58:26Speaker 01

  Cause we had the girls. I want you to do drugs around our girls. But I didn't do coke.

• 58:30Bunnie XO?

  I didn't know if like you were like crazy.

• 58:31Speaker 01

  No, no, I haven't done coke. I haven't done coke in, uh, God, since I lived in New York, I think.

• 58:37Bunnie XO?

  I mean, you can't do coke nowadays.

• 58:39Speaker 01

  No.

• 58:39Bunnie XO?

  This had to have been years ago because coke nowadays is you're just literally playing Russian roulette with your life.

• 58:44Speaker 01

  I, that's how I feel. Yeah. That's what I tell my girls. But yeah, I've, and I've been offered it a couple of times.

• 58:49Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 58:49Speaker 01

  Yeah. By some famous people and I really, there's a two that I regret that I go, oh, I should have done coke with them. But then I go, I'm glad I didn't because I'm here.

• 58:57Bunnie XO?

  I don't like it. Coke makes me like rock back and forth. Like I'd have to be like super shitfaced and on Xanny bars to be able to do cocaine. I've done a lot of it, but I never really liked it.

• 59:07Speaker 01

  I, uh, I, I enjoyed it very much, uh, but I did not, the next day was really tough for me.

• 59:15Bunnie XO?

  Mentally?

• 59:16Speaker 01

  Crazy. Oh, I mean, I, I don't know that I, I, you know, I, I don't think I could ever do it again, just knowing what the next day was.

• 59:25Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  And then I don't think I could enjoy it knowing this is coming up.

• 59:28Bunnie XO?

  Do you battle like mental health issues?

• 59:31Speaker 01

  Yeah. I mean, I think, I don't know. I don't know. Cause I'm, I also am like really tough on myself. So like, I figure, I, I don't know. I figure someone's got it worse than me.

• 59:41Bunnie XO?

  I'm, I feel the same way whenever I talk about things too, but that you can't minimize how you feel based on other people's things that they have going on too. Because you know, there's levels of course to everything, but I think it helps when we talk about our mental health. Because it makes people who are going through it not feel like we do, if that makes sense.

• 59:59Speaker 01

  I think it does when you, like, I, maybe it does when I, I know people have reached out to me, but I know also that like, you know, how the internet weaponizes anything you say vulnerable against you.

• 1:00:09Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  And you're like, ugh, like god damn it. I fucking, I look back and I go, I should never have shared anything.

• 1:00:15Bunnie XO?

  Do you know how many news cycles I've been in for fucking open in my mouth, dude?

• 1:00:19Speaker 01

  And it's like, I'm just being honest. I'm just telling you I deal with this. And it's like, you know, it's like, I know certain things about, I know certain things about certain celebrities that they, where they don't share it because they don't want it out there. And I'm like, that's a fucking smart move.

• 1:00:33Bunnie XO?

  The older, the longer that we're in this business, I do understand why people keep things close to their chest.

• 1:00:39Speaker 01

  Oh my God, it's crazy.

• 1:00:41Bunnie XO?

  They'll demonize you for anything.

• 1:00:43Speaker 01

  And it stinks, but.

• 1:00:45Bunnie XO?

  My husband's getting flak for saying that he wanted to go home when he was in Australia and that he was in a mentally bad place. I read the comments yesterday on a post and people are like, oh, poor you. You're getting paid to sing or like, you know, like, and it's just crazy because it's like a man's being very honest with his mental health struggles.

• 1:01:01Speaker 01

  And you know, it's like, I don't know the right way to say this, but it's like.

• 1:01:06Bunnie XO?

  We can bleep it.

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  No, no, no. But it's like, it's frustrating to me because, you know,

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  it's, there's this wild insensitivity that happens. It's almost, you know, it's like, I don't say people enjoy watching people die, but there is this sense when someone dies that a little bit of the room goes, thank God, that's not me. You know, like, almost like, you know, like, I've been to a lot of funerals. I went back when they had them. I haven't been to one in a while. No one does them anymore. And they're, they don't, they don't even do celebrations alive. People just die and people just go, let's not bring it up. It's like, well, most people like to die of suicide. But anyway, so, but like,

• 1:01:58Speaker 01

  there's this wild insensitivity that's happening and I'm, I'm certain I'm a part of it. I'm certain I've done it because I've, I've been with people that have said it's gross because it happens to them. And then they do it and within a matter of seconds after that, they'll do it about someone else. And, and I'm trying to get to the base of like, what is the thing that's eating me up? Like, and, and, and I try to overshare because if you overshare a little bit, you might get beaten up and attacked for it and whatever, but maybe if it helps a couple of people, you know?

• 1:02:33Bunnie XO?

  I think just a dude like you who's so boisterous, who's so like, just high on life. I think when people hear like, hey, I battle OCD like that. I never knew you had OCD.

• 1:02:45Speaker 01

  Oh, my OCDs. My OCDs annoying. Like it, it is, I don't know what other people is, it's, it really, we used to call it big brain versus little brain. It's like big brain was the fucking bad guy and little brain was the sweetest guy. He's who I am. I'm little brain really. And.

• 1:03:03Speaker 01

  Little brain would be like, hey, man. I remember, I remember there was a period in, I was in Italy doing Travel Channel. This is when I, I named them and I was with my whole group, my Travel Channel team. And I had, I had a black spot on the back of my leg. It was just a mole. It's just a mole.

• 1:03:23Bunnie XO?

  I'll freak out.

• 1:03:24Speaker 01

  And, and I.

• 1:03:25Bunnie XO?

  You have health anxiety too. Wow.

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  I mean.

• 1:03:31Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 1:03:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:33Bunnie XO?

  I feel it. Trust me. I get it. Every day I'm in chat G P D. Trying to diagnose myself.

• 1:03:39Speaker 01

  I, I had, I had a, I was zinning a bunch and I had like a lump right there. And I was like, that's it. I'm dead. I'm gone. I'm gone. And this is the way little brain and big brain works. So, so I feel it, right? And then I, little brain's like, don't, no, don't worry. It's not, it's nothing. It's nothing. Hey, it's nothing. You'd, it, trust me, it's zens. They don't cause cancer. But yeah, but you smoke cigars. That's big brain. You used to smoke cigars. Remember smoking cigars? And little brain's like, but we haven't had one in a while. And he's like, oh, we were smoking them every night for a beer there. And then you're like, shut the fuck up, big brain. And then you go to sleep and big brain is like, sound asleep. And little brain wakes up first and he's like, hey, don't wake him up.

• 1:04:18Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  Let's, let's, uh, let's get through today. Fine. Don't look in the mirror. Don't look in the mirror. And then all of a sudden you're in the bathroom, you're brushing your teeth and you hear big brain wake up and go, have we checked that cancer in our mouth yet? You're like, shut the fuck up. But yeah.

• 1:04:30Bunnie XO?

  That is the best way to explain O C D.

• 1:04:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:33Bunnie XO?

  That is a phenomenal way.

• 1:04:35Speaker 01

  It sucks. And I, I didn't know that I had it. I didn't know that I had panic. I didn't know I had anxiety at all. I just didn't. And then I didn't know I had O C D until I married Leanne. And I, I would, I got embarrassed of certain rituals I had, like, like, I don't mind sharing them now.

• 1:04:54Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  But like, these are crazy. Like, I would put booby traps all around the house, right when we went to bed. Skateboards on every door handle.

• 1:05:00Bunnie XO?

  To see if one of them moved while you were sleeping. I do that. When I'm in hotel rooms.

• 1:05:04Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:05:07Speaker 01

  And then before I fly, my flying was my worst is I had to.

• 1:05:12Speaker 01

  I had to shower a certain way. So I had to, I had to cover my whole body in soap. And then I had to get down in like a squat, like a full squat and say a prayer. And then I had to visualize the plane taking off in each direction, northeast, south and west, six times, flying three times to the next one, landing six times in each direction. And then, and then I had to do it one more time. And then I had to circle my side. It was so crazy.

• 1:05:38Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 1:05:39Speaker 01

  And Leanne would watch me and she was like, what are you doing? And I couldn't talk during it. So I had to sit silent and do this all covered in soap. And then, you know, if I go, it's what I do before I fly. And if you don't know it and you're sitting in the shower with a man and you watch him do this, you're like, that's fucking crazy. And then I getting on the plane, I had to, I wore the same outfit flying.

• 1:06:03Speaker 01

  For like fifteen years, I wore the same outfit, like same, like it was jeans, fry boots.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  Same T-shirt from Lucky, a Lucky hoodie and a leather jacket. Even in the summer, I wore the same outfit flying everywhere I went.

• 1:06:22Bunnie XO?

  I understand that I won't wear shorts. Really in public places because I don't want my legs to touch things or on planes. If I'm on planes, I have to have my arms covered. I have to always have a flannel over me or a hoodie or something. Cause I cannot touch anything inside airplanes. It freaks me out. Yeah. So I completely understand that.

• 1:06:41Speaker 01

  So with these meds, these meds do incite physical illness. So like Manjaro does make you ill. Like yesterday, I couldn't tell if it was me making myself ill or if it was the medicine making myself ill. And so I'm sitting in this and I have a weird, I've always had a weird thing about my throat closing.

• 1:07:03Bunnie XO?

  Me too.

• 1:07:04Speaker 01

  I've always, and it's like, and I. I threw up violently in in LAX. I don't think it was Manjaro. I think it was. I don't know what it was.

• 1:07:12Bunnie XO?

  It's probably the Manjaro. That stuff's rough. We need to get you on Reta. I really want you to. I'm gonna send you some stuff in our group chat because I really think you'll do good with Reta.

• 1:07:19Speaker 01

  Oh, it sounds shredded. Sounds really good.

• 1:07:22Bunnie XO?

  Shredded and no side effects. And I'm gonna get you the Testmoreland.

• 1:07:25Speaker 01

  But yeah, but that's like anything with any med, any med, the first time I take it, I'm like, I just invited something into my system.

• 1:07:32Bunnie XO?

  Right. Oh, I have to do a countdown. So anytime I like, I just started these new peptides and anytime I take a medication, anytime I do an injection, anything new that I'm not used to, I have an hour or two hour countdown of my safe window where I'll be completely panicking and will freak out until two hours passes. And then I'm like, okay, I'm okay. Cause I'm so scared of like anaphylactic or like.

• 1:07:57Speaker 01

  When we did something, it's burning me and jelly. And he wanted to hit his dab rig in the house. And you're like, well, then I'll walk out. At that moment, I don't know if there's video of it. I felt like I'm talking to a sibling. Like I was like, when I saw you do that and you did it at the 5K too, you're like, just don't be upwind. I went,

• 1:08:17Speaker 01

  I've never heard. That's almost like, it's almost like saying like, um, uh, you meet someone who does the same like weird thing you do and you and you keep your secret. You don't tell anyone yours. And then you see them do it. You're like, shut up. And then you're like, I can trust you. Like it must be like gay kids feel like it can't. When they go, when they go, oh, I suck dicks. Oh, you suck dicks. What are those?

• 1:08:37Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. No, I, I, I'm blown away because I never knew. Like, and it's, it's hell to live with, but when you learn how to do the exposure therapy, I still can't do it with his dab rigs. Cause I've been locked in a fricking 18 passenger van with him when he was doing dabs. I think I'm scarred for life with that. But like a lot of other things, like I've gotten a lot better with and touring actually helped me with that because it pulled me out of my comfort zone and I had to be in like crusty fricking like amphitheaters and like, you know, like stuff that wasn't clean or wasn't, um, you know, OCD is so many things.

• 1:09:09Speaker 01

  It's so crazy because I don't get it on stage at all. The safest place I am.

• 1:09:15Bunnie XO?

  Cause your mind isn't thinking about it.

• 1:09:17Speaker 01

  Not thinking about it at all.

• 1:09:18Bunnie XO?

  If you can occupy your mind, that's, that's what quiets the OCD noise. So like when I'm doing podcasts, I used to freak out and have panic attacks while I was doing podcasts. And now that I've gotten so much comfortable with it, it's because your brain isn't zeroing in on what your body is feeling and like trying to trick you.

• 1:09:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:09:35Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, it's crazy.

• 1:09:36Speaker 01

  It's fun. I'm so glad we're talking about it because I hope that someone, I hope there's a fucking 15 year old girl or boy listening to this going like, shit, that's what I got.

• 1:09:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, just don't listen to the first part of the podcast.

• 1:09:46Speaker 01

  Yeah, don't listen to the first part. But no, but I think it's so, I think it is healthy. And then, you know, and look, and people will weaponize it against me and they're going to clip this out and Bert Kreischer crashes out and, and

• 1:09:56Bunnie XO?

  I really hope they don't.

• 1:09:57Speaker 01

  And he's mentally broken and, you know, whatever they're going to say, you're like, okay, but I guess I hope it helps somebody.

• 1:10:02Bunnie XO?

  No, it will help somebody. And I hate that you have to have that fear of being able to express what's really going on with you, trying to help somebody because of how people want to clickbait headlines. I think that's insane.

• 1:10:14Speaker 01

  I heard the craziest thing that I understood, that I totally understood. Eddie Murphy changed his laugh because he didn't like the way people were referencing his laugh.

• 1:10:25Bunnie XO?

  That was his original. Yeah.

• 1:10:29Speaker 01

  And he didn't like that it could be weaponized against him or that it would be played out or that he was predictable. So he, I mean, it's crazy. He changed his laugh and, and

• 1:10:39Bunnie XO?

  That's like a trademark.

• 1:10:41Speaker 01

  There was a moment that I had a very recognizable laugh and I noticed that my laugh started to change, but it's, I think it changed because my voice got deeper from drinking or, or throwing up or whatever.

• 1:10:54Bunnie XO?

  Smoking cigars, maybe.

• 1:10:55Speaker 01

  Acid reflux, honestly. But my voice has gotten a lot deeper since I've been in this business. But my laugh, like it's still a high pitched squeal, but it's not as high. I can't go that high anymore. But I was like, God dang it. Can you imagine if you let the world take your joy away?

• 1:11:11Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:11Speaker 01

  But that's, but that's, I mean, that's the business we're in is like, and Eddie Murphy's been in it the longest. Expose yourself all you can. People are going to love you, but there are people that will just simply hate you and you gotta let the hate come your way and just don't let it take your laugh.

• 1:11:26Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:26Speaker 01

  Eddie Murphy's old laugh. Laugh was so fucking good.

• 1:11:28Bunnie XO?

  Don't let it take your laugh.

• 1:11:30Speaker 01

  You guys even remember it?

• 1:11:31Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, yeah, I do.

• 1:11:32Speaker 01

  And now it's like this.

• 1:11:34Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, oh, I never knew that about that, but that is so, that was such a really like gorgeous way of saying it was don't let it take your laugh.

• 1:11:42Speaker 01

  The second it takes your sparkle, right? The second, the, and I say internet, but it's people too. It's, it's, look, man, go online and watch Karens. Those people walk, they're like, they're the walking dead. And they, and they're waiting for a kid to fish in their backyard retention pond. And like, you can't fish here. And like, who is he fucking hurting? But those people walk around with the same anger and vitriol that happens on the internet. And it's cool. Listen, I've never left a negative comment, but that's not to say I've never said something negative.

• 1:12:12Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:12:12Speaker 01

  I've said negative shit, said wild negative shit.

• 1:12:14Bunnie XO?

  I will clap back at somebody, but I, even when I clap back at them, I try not to match their negativity.

• 1:12:20Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've never, I've never replied in the comments. I know I'm putting online, but on podcasts, I've said negative shit. On, on, in private, I've said negative shit. Uh, in, on, on stage.

• 1:12:31Bunnie XO?

  That's everybody.

• 1:12:32Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's everyone.

• 1:12:33Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:12:33Speaker 01

  And so don't, don't isolate and go, oh, uh, these comment people are horrible people. No, we do it, I do it, I just sometimes do it publicly. I just do it like on a podcast and it comes back to bite me in the ass. As we were sitting here, I was thinking about the girl I've lost my opportunity to. And I was like, I bet I'm gonna have to deal with this later. And so, but like.

• 1:12:53Bunnie XO?

  Do people like that from your past resurface? All the time if you talk about them?

• 1:12:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:12:59Bunnie XO?

  Oh, my gosh.

• 1:13:00Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:13:01Bunnie XO?

  It's like their 15 minutes of fame, right?

• 1:13:03Speaker 01

  Oh, no, no, it's, it's my fault. I, I never change anyone's names. I keep the names always the same.

• 1:13:08Bunnie XO?

  I tried to do that in my book, they wouldn't let me. I had everybody on blast and they were like, no, we need to change names.

• 1:13:14Speaker 01

  I, I was, I, I'm bad about that. And, and, you know, but I think the thing I was saying was, I was like, uh.

• 1:13:23Speaker 01

  I remember when, when the comments really did affect me. It's like, I think it was right when we bought our new house and I, and I was very self-conscious because we all of a sudden we had this big house, you know, and I was like, and I, I lived in this 1100, 1100 square foot house on 7,000 square feet. And it was very modest, but it was beautiful. It was fun. And I was always showing my life and I never had anything to hide. It was great. I loved it, but it was modest. People would come to my house and go, wow, this is small. And I go, oh yeah. And yeah. And they're like, no, I mean, I thought it was going to be bigger online. And then when I got to my new house, it was, you know, an acre, 50, 600 square foot house.

• 1:14:08Speaker 01

  And I was like, I was very embarrassed to show it and I was very cognizant not to show it. And when I did post a video, someone was like, he's changed. And it was, and that is the first time I ever saw, and I'm sure they were there before, but that was the first time I ever saw negative comments and they were affecting me. And I was unable to enjoy my new house because I felt embarrassed for it. And I, and I, and I remember going, I remember I had a social media team who like, at the time they were trying to take down anything that's anyone that said anything negative about me. And I, and I had a moment of clarity where I was like, actually Tommy called me and he was like, and he was like, this bad video about me.

• 1:14:53Speaker 01

  And he was like, I mean, I watched it. And I was like, how bad is it? And he was like, it's not that bad. I was like, what do you mean? He goes, I mean, it's not that bad. And he goes, I, yeah, you've, you've changed, man. You're, you're making a ton of money. He was like, that's accurate. Like, yeah. And he was like, but he goes, but you're still burnt. And he's like, and, and let that change happen, man. Who gives a fuck?

• 1:15:12Bunnie XO?

  Do people want you to stay the same? And that my, my husband deals with that a lot more than I do because I'm, you know, it's, we're in two different fields and they don't know rapper role. You know, they just know country music artist role. And the, you know, his rapper fans are always like, oh, you've changed. And Jay's like, thank God. Thank God I've changed. Like, we don't want to still be who we were 20 years ago. It's almost like the internet hates to see people achieve.

• 1:15:39Speaker 01

  They, they love, they love.

• 1:15:43Speaker 01

  The climb up.

• 1:15:44Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:15:45Speaker 01

  The second they see you stand on top of the mountain.

• 1:15:49Bunnie XO?

  Yes.

• 1:15:50Speaker 01

  And hey, all I'll say is I try to identify because I have the same instinctual feelings. I love my band on the way up, but the second they get to the top and I maybe, maybe they, maybe they smell their own stink a little bit. There's something that changes and you got, as an artist, you gotta be comfortable with it because you gotta recognize that this is a natural human behavior.

• 1:16:13Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:16:13Speaker 01

  You know, what do they go after Pedro Pascal?

• 1:16:16Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:16:16Speaker 01

  Right. And it's like, what has that guy done to anybody? I mean, maybe he touched someone's face or something. Who knows? But like, but like, but like they go after every, everyone gets it. Who's the one that's getting it now? That's like everyone's favorite person. And all of a sudden they're like, yeah, fuck that guy.

• 1:16:30Bunnie XO?

  Ariana Grande is getting it right now.

• 1:16:32Speaker 01

  Yep.

• 1:16:33Bunnie XO?

  I mean, like, what does she do? She doesn't do anything to anybody. Katy Perry, she gets it.

• 1:16:37Speaker 01

  The Katy Perry thing threw me through the fucking roof.

• 1:16:39Bunnie XO?

  It's crazy, right?

• 1:16:41Speaker 01

  The soundtrack to my daughter's childhood.

• 1:16:43Bunnie XO?

  And she's a sweet woman. I've met her. I've been in her energy. She's not a bad, like, she doesn't have bad energy. I've met celebrities who have terrible energy. I'll never say who they are, but Katie, just the sweetest little thing.

• 1:16:54Speaker 01

  I hated, I hated what they were doing to her.

• 1:16:56Bunnie XO?

  Living her life. It's still now to this day, like she can't do anything. She's dating like the Canadian governor now or something, or the ex governor and.

• 1:17:04Speaker 01

  Justin Trudeau?

• 1:17:05Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, she's with Justin Trudeau. Like they will not leave her alone. Like she just can't do anything right.

• 1:17:10Speaker 01

  It's not, you know, it's, I don't know, it's not fair, but I guess nothing, life's not fair. You die.

• 1:17:15Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:17:15Speaker 01

  You know, look, I mean, like there's someone going, there's someone here and that go, yeah, it really sucks for Katy Perry. I have pancreatic cancer. And you're like, okay, yeah, life's not fair. Life's not fair. I guess, you know, you get, you know, it's, it's crazy that they, you know, the, the pure, the rare air that they, they won't touch. You know, like they show like Beyonce, uh, I got done. Or no, what was the song they were doing? Uh, they were doing the song from SNL where Kristen had the baby hands.

• 1:17:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:41Speaker 01

  And they were, and then they put Katy, and it was just so unfair because I like Katy Perry.

• 1:17:46Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:47Speaker 01

  But then. I guess the ultimate space you want to be in. If you were the Dalai Lama.

• 1:17:52Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:52Speaker 01

  You'd be laughing.

• 1:17:54Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:54Speaker 01

  You'd be laughing and going, oh, they got me good. And I know guys like that who can go, they got me good. And I, I think I've gotten, been gotten pretty good.

• 1:18:02Bunnie XO?

  I think you take it in stride too, though, like, you know, like you've accomplished so much. It's like, at this point, anybody can say anything about you and it's like, my track record proves bitch.

• 1:18:13Speaker 01

  Here's the things that are true about me. These are the true things.

• 1:18:18Speaker 01

  I, I always want people to have a good time.

• 1:18:20Bunnie XO?

  Yes. You always try to make people smile.

• 1:18:22Speaker 01

  That's it. It's like.

• 1:18:24Bunnie XO?

  Even at the 5Ks, I noticed that about you because you literally have like little stations where everybody is like just having a, you run it kind of like a frat house. And it's the, it's the cutest thing ever, but it works.

• 1:18:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, I, Leanne says, it's a weird thing that like I can't, if I go into a gas station on the ride home, get a Diet Mountain Dew.

• 1:18:45Speaker 01

  And you could argue, I'm nicer to the person that I'd talked to behind that counter than anyone I'll meet all day. Like, I'm so nice to people that I don't know. Like, I'm almost, I said it to Leanne one time, we were arguing and we walk into a fucking gas station and all of a sudden she's like, hey, can you turn some of that on for me? But like, there is a thing where I want to make people smile. I want to make people laugh. I think silly all the time to just, like comedy is my favorite thing in the world. I never would stop doing comedy because the transaction that I get, you know, the same way a chef would get it for feeding people. But that transaction of coming up with an idea and like, and like the joy, like I said, I'm sure it won't go on my special, so I'll just tell you the joke.

• 1:19:30Speaker 01

  But one day I was like, I'm going to kill two birds with one stone. I'm going to brush my teeth while I shit. And so I was like,

• 1:19:39Bunnie XO?

  Did you taste it?

• 1:19:40Speaker 01

  No, no, I was like, I'm, I'm on there. By the way, I'm 52 years old. And I'm like, why haven't I been doing this longer? This is like taking a shit, brushing my teeth. I go, you know what? And I'm doing the math. I go, I'm actually brushing my teeth for two minutes. Like you're supposed to brush your teeth. What if I just cheek coated it? And then I'm done and I go to wipe and as soon as I wipe, I swallowed the toothpaste. And I went, oh, fuck. And then I started laughing. I go, that's a joke, right? That's a joke. And then I go, oh, I don't want to lose that sparkle that goes, hey, I'm so, I'm going to see if I can kill two birds with one stone. That's the sparkle you don't want to lose is that walking through your backyard, loving your backyard, getting into your gym, loving, being so grateful

• 1:20:22Speaker 01

  that you have an awesome gym and a great coffee maker to make a duplio espresso iced coffee. And then turn on Netflix and know you can pay for Netflix. And, and, and then, and then you get phone calls from great fucking people. So many times I'd get into the gym and I'd have a, a, a message from Jelly going, when does this walking shit get better? And you'd be like, yes, or laying back while you're stretching in the gym, having the sun hit your face and thinking about your friends who have it tougher than you and going, God, man, I got it good today. That's the thing. You can't let the world take, take all that good stuff away.

• 1:20:59Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:20:59Speaker 01

  You know, and I, and I think that's, that's where I'm at right now. It's like, I started journaling, although I haven't journal in like four days, but I started journaling on my 53rd birthday.

• 1:21:08Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:21:09Speaker 01

  And, uh, sometimes they're the ravings of a madman, but sometimes they're really like cool. Like, uh, you know?

• 1:21:17Bunnie XO?

  Do you write for you or do you write in hopes that somebody reads it? I've been needing new glasses forever and it's just one of those things I keep putting off. So I finally went on Zinni to pick out a new pair. I'm going with these black rectangle glasses that are really similar to the ones I already wear. Because listen, I know what I like. They're classic, they go with everything and I'm excited to get them. Zinni has frames starting from under $30 and I love that you can use their virtual try on to see what different frames look like before you order. You just find a pair you love, enter your prescription. Customize your lenses and they'll ship them right to your door. Zinni is truly the easiest way to shop for stylish prescription glasses without the headache, backed by over 150,000 five-star reviews. Check new glasses off your list today with Zinni.

• 1:22:02Bunnie XO?

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• 1:22:45Bunnie XO?

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• 1:23:32Speaker 01

  That is a great question.

• 1:23:35Bunnie XO?

  Well, because I journal too, so I know how I journal.

• 1:23:37Speaker 01

  So I lost a joke book. And it was terrifying.

• 1:23:41Bunnie XO?

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:23:42Speaker 01

  Because I never had thought of losing a joke book.

• 1:23:45Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:23:46Speaker 01

  And this was, I mean, a joke play, a joke book was my safe place.

• 1:23:50Bunnie XO?

  It's like a playbook. For the NFL.

• 1:23:51Speaker 01

  Yeah. And I stopped keeping joke books because of it, because it was so terrifying that I was like, and my name's in it. Like I write my name. Hey, you return to Burt. Cause I think I would leave it at the store.

• 1:24:03Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:04Speaker 01

  But and then I, I, I, and then by, in that time I got very famous and I didn't realize that for a young comic, now they have leverage. They have my joke book and they read it and they're like, whoa, this is a crazy joke. This isn't even funny. This is kind of wild.

• 1:24:19Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:24:20Speaker 01

  And, and then that changed the way I did therapy. Cause I started lying in therapy.

• 1:24:25Bunnie XO?

  Oh, fuck.

• 1:24:26Speaker 01

  Cause yeah, cause it was, cause it was.

• 1:24:27Bunnie XO?

  Cause you get scared. You don't know who you can trust.

• 1:24:30Speaker 01

  I don't know who I could trust. And I don't know about VPNs and if someone logs into my, I mean, look, man, you tell me someone can't log into my FaceTime with my, my therapist. And, and, and download it and then put it online and then monetize it.

• 1:24:42Bunnie XO?

  Have them come to your house.

• 1:24:44Speaker 01

  Oh, so now, now it's in person.

• 1:24:48Bunnie XO?

  Okay, good.

• 1:24:48Speaker 01

  The value of it being in person is insane.

• 1:24:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:24:51Speaker 01

  And it's a couple of times, me and Leanne. But when I kept this journal, uh, as I started writing it and I went, what if someone finds this? And then I was like, and then I would, I did is I just changed my handwriting to so bad that no one else will ever be able to understand it except for me.

• 1:25:08Bunnie XO?

  I love that. So if they find it, it's like gibberish.

• 1:25:12Speaker 01

  It's gonna be in gibberish. And my name's not on it anywhere. And my goals are in it, but my goals are all, my goals are all very, um, they're very emotional goals. They're like, but take Georgia on a trip by herself, take Iowa on a trip by herself. Um, run a, run a 5K under 30 minutes. They're all like very personal. Nothing's financial anymore. Nothing is career wise. Nothing is. I feel like I'm not, I'm not that I have accomplished all my goals in my career. I still have tons of goals, but they're not. My things are all personal. And then the last one, you're, I do 50, whatever year I am, I do that many goals for the year. And on my 53rd goal, my very last goal, that's always the best one. Cause you're done.

• 1:25:53Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:25:53Speaker 01

  You don't have to fill out 53 goals anymore and you sit and you think. And I was like, yo. Jump out of bed and journal. Just get the fuck out of bed and journal.

• 1:26:03Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:03Speaker 01

  And I've been doing that. And, uh, and yeah, and it's been, it's been really helpful. I think, I think mentally I'm in a better place because I journal.

• 1:26:11Bunnie XO?

  Yes. Cause you can get stuff out.

• 1:26:13Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:14Bunnie XO?

  It's therapeutic.

• 1:26:15Speaker 01

  I watched, uh, I watched, uh, something, I'm gonna be vague, but I watched something this morning online that kinda like upset me because I, I don't know. I don't know. It just upset me. And then I realized I'm gonna be doing the same thing in like two weeks.

• 1:26:28Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:28Speaker 01

  And I was like, oh shit. Hold on. So it bothered me emotionally that it wasn't me. Then I know that it's gonna be me.

• 1:26:34Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:34Speaker 01

  But now it's bothering me in a different way. And I was like, all right, hold on. Let's not spin out about this. Let's just journal about this.

• 1:26:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:40Speaker 01

  And, uh.

• 1:26:41Bunnie XO?

  And find out what it is that's triggering you.

• 1:26:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:26:44Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, for sure. Um, I love that you said that all of your goals are not monetary. And I, I think that's such a huge thing to kinda zero in on because once you do accomplish it, your focus, like you accomplish, um, where you, you've always wanted to accomplish in life. Like we've, we all had dreams, right? And we've all made it to where we're all financially comfortable. Praise Jesus. Like, thank you for, you know, helping us get here. And it's crazy how that switches. And it's like, there, no amount of money can buy you happiness.

• 1:27:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:27:15Bunnie XO?

  And like, you really want to fulfill like personal things. Like you wanna take your little, your girls on trips by themselves. I think that is so cute for a dad to wanna do with their daughters, you know? Do you find that it's really hard to like, create a space of time for them? Cause you've been so busy?

• 1:27:30Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, I, you know, I have massive regret, uh, obviously. And I think, but I think, I think I over regret. I think when, when Leanne looks at, she goes, you're doing the best you could. But my thing was, I had to create, I had to create a career out of nothing. You know, and.

• 1:27:46Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:27:47Speaker 01

  And not to say that, but like, when I started getting famous. Podcasts were at their infancy and, and, and a lot of people were really big on podcasts, but weren't popping. And a lot of people, like the tastemakers were still around, like Comedy Central and all them. And then Netflix had kind of shown up, but, and so like in a weird way, I was in this, this kind of like middle ground, this gray area where it's like I wasn't accepted by Comedy Central and HBO and all those and Showtime. Although I had a special on Showtime, but I like, I wasn't accepted by all the studios or networks or all that. And I wasn't really at Netflix yet because it wasn't a huge thing yet.

• 1:28:27Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:28:27Speaker 01

  And podcasting was happening, but it would sell, you know, it was selling all of us the same amount of tickets where I decided I had to create it for myself. I, I, I love this story only because it, money is important. Tommy and I were doing the same festivals right around this time that I was telling you, 2016, called the Oddball Festival. Now, I always wanted to be a darling of these festivals. I never was. And Amsterdam, Aspen, Montreal, Sasquatch, or whatever, all the festivals, Moon Tower, never got invited to any of the festivals. And it went, and only not being invited, you know how that feels. You're just like.

• 1:29:05Bunnie XO?

  I know. We didn't get invited to a ton of stuff until recently.

• 1:29:08Speaker 01

  And then you get the invites and then you get invited to all of them.

• 1:29:11Bunnie XO?

  And then you don't, and then you don't want to go at that point.

• 1:29:14Speaker 01

  And so I was, I got invited one time at Oddball and it did feel like a weird invite. I remember feeling like it was like a sympathy invite. They're like, you can host, which I thought I was better than, but I was like, cool, I'll take it because I want to be a part of the festival thing.

• 1:29:29Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:29:29Speaker 01

  And they're like, it's, uh, it's a $2,500 a weekend and which wasn't great money, but I'd done, I've done stand up for less. You gotta pay for your travel and your hotel. And I was like, okay, I'm going to be out of pocket, but you know, at least I'll be in the conversation of these things.

• 1:29:47Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, in the circle.

• 1:29:47Speaker 01

  And they're like, you'll do, uh, you'll do three weekends. And so I was like, okay, all right. You know what? If I save my money right and I fly on miles and you know, I can, I can make, afford that. And I had money. I'd worked travel channel, although I'd been let go. And then at the last minute, they go, you know what? Never mind. And I went, wait, what? Like, it wasn't even like a conversation. They just fired me and I went, oh God. And it caught me off guard. I called Tom and I said, uh, I was getting ready to go on the treadmill and I was sitting in my man cave. And I was at my desk and I was like, I was like, dude, I guess I'm not doing oddball. He was like, wait, what? And I was like, yeah, they canceled my dates. He goes, no, they're doing that for some people. And I went, oh, for real? He goes, yeah, you gotta get them to give you the money though. I was like, what do you mean? He was like, they'll, they'll pay out the money.

• 1:30:32Speaker 01

  And I was like, well, that's, that's not a crazy ton of money. And he's like, are you fucking kidding? He's like, wait, what are you getting paid? I said 25 and he goes, oh, nice. Yeah. And I said, no, no, 2500. And he goes, wait, what? Per show? I went, no, for the weekend. And he went, oh. And I went, wait, what are you getting paid? And he was like, why? I'm afraid to tell you. And I said, why? And he goes, well, I don't know if it's gonna fuck up our friendship. I go, wait, what are you getting paid? And he was like, I don't know. I, I don't know. I, I, can we just drop it? And I went, hold on, what are you getting paid? And he was like, you promised this isn't gonna fuck up our friendship. And I was like, yeah, cuz there is a jealousy that could happen.

• 1:31:15Speaker 01

  And I sat with my hands on my, on my knees and I said, will this affect how I feel about Tom? And I went in my head, I went, I want Tom to be successful. I do think if Tom's successful, it'll help my career. I do believe that. I think the high tide raises all boats.

• 1:31:29Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:31Speaker 01

  And I was like, yeah, I'm good. In my head, I went, if he's getting 10,000 a weekend, I'm fine. And I'm totally good with that. I go, you know what? 15,000 a weekend, I'm good.

• 1:31:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:31:41Speaker 01

  And he goes 25,000. And I went, a weekend? That's not bad. And he goes, a show. And I went. What the hell? You're getting $25,000 a show? I was like, holy shit. I mean, it floored me. I was like, this is where you are, Bert. This is where you're standing today. This is, it's like blood work. It was like a slice of humble pie. Yeah. And I was like, wow, wow. And he's like, yeah. And if I do this, I'm gonna be able to buy a house. And I went, no, no, no, I want you to buy a house. I want you to be happy. And I was like, okay. But I realized where I was at that moment. And I went, okay, no one's gonna help me. No one gives a fuck about me. No one cares. If I, if I piss and moan in the back of the store, no one cares. No one gives a shit. I have to give a shit first. Yes.

• 1:32:26Speaker 01

  And I went out and I started, I started thinking, no idea is a bad idea. First thing I did was I did promo videos, started doing promo videos. They didn't all pop, but I posted them. It didn't matter if 10, if it added 10 ticket sales, it mattered. I started doing posters for every weekend. Those started making a dent. I started coming up with my own ideas and I would not listen to anybody. Yeah. I would listen to like four people, probably Joe, Tom, Leanne.

• 1:32:55Speaker 01

  And that really was it. Yeah. And, and I created my career, my career. I remember I always had to deal at NBC and they wanted me to focus on this sitcom about me being a beer guy who, you know, sells beer and parties at all the bars and then goes home to his family hammered. And I was like, that's a dumb idea. That's not a great dad. And I remember Tom and I were doing the weight loss challenge with Joe and NBC called up and they're like, yo, we need your notes on the script. And Leanne, in total Leanne move goes, oh, you lost him. They're like, what? She goes, oh, he's done. He's, he's not gonna do this TV show. And they were like, what? She's like, he's fat shaming his best friend. He's having a ton of fun doing that. And it's, and it's affecting like, it's getting traction for him.

• 1:33:40Speaker 01

  And, you know, everything was, that I was doing for myself was garnering traction. And I started like really getting curious about the business and, and it was like, and it was, it was life changing. But that moment, I had to create for myself. And in doing that, I missed a lot of shit with the girls, you know, I missed, I remember at one point, the girls were like, can you not do Instagram stories? And I was like, what? I went through that.

• 1:34:04Bunnie XO?

  With Bailey too, we had.

• 1:34:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:05Bunnie XO?

  I think every parent that's in the limelight kinda has to go through that with their kids.

• 1:34:09Speaker 01

  Yeah. They, you know what they used to do? I'd go, I'd be like, yo, what's up everybody? San Francisco. And they go dad beats mom. And I'd be like, what are you doing?

• 1:34:19Bunnie XO?

  I think I remember that era.

• 1:34:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:34:20Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I do think I remember that era. But I mean, at least now, one, you've provided a life for them. And I know that that doesn't, that doesn't suffice memories and being and spending time with them. But now you've created a life to where you can hang out with them and like you can connect with them, especially now that they're adults too. They turn so much cooler when they get to be like seventeen, eighteen. The teenage years were a fucking nightmare though.

• 1:34:44Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:34:46Bunnie XO?

  I can't even, I don't even, I don't even think we should delve into that.

• 1:34:49Speaker 01

  Leanne, Leanne was like, you're acting like a scorned boyfriend. I was, I remember saying to Leanne, I was like, what's going on with Georgia? She's like, she's just growing up. And I was like, she's got her own things. And I was like, so I just gotta pretend I'm not, not that into her?

• 1:35:06Speaker 01

  She's like, no, that's not it. That's not it.

• 1:35:08Bunnie XO?

  She's like, no, no, don't do that, dad. So everything that you've accomplished, like, you know, selling out stadiums, Netflix shows, movies about your life, like, what does Burt wanna do in this next chapter of his life?

• 1:35:22Speaker 01

  So funny, I was, I was, I was talking about this on the ride over.

• 1:35:26Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:27Speaker 01

  So there's not, there's no clear roadmap

• 1:35:32Speaker 01

  for the world that comedy's in right now. Comedy's in a really unique place where usually back in the day, if you were fifty-three, you didn't tell anyone you were fifty-three and your career was kind of over. Usually, maybe you could get a role in like Cocoon or something, you know what I mean? But that's, you know, that's like,

• 1:35:52Bunnie XO?

  As an extra.

• 1:35:53Speaker 01

  The Golden Girls were in their fifties.

• 1:35:55Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:35:56Speaker 01

  So like, there was no real roadmap for where we're headed. And absolutely, and I, and I say this, like, I was saying that sometimes I say wild shit. It just, shelve whether or not it's accurate, understand the emotion in it. But.

• 1:36:11Speaker 01

  There was no, when I was coming up, there was no real 53 year old comic doing arenas. There was 53 year old comics weren't big. It wasn't the hot thing.

• 1:36:22Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:22Speaker 01

  It was 26 year olds and 30 year olds and like, maybe, I mean, look, man, the Sandler's and them, they were making movies, but, you know, it was the young people and now it's like, dude, the greatest ever done it is Chappelle, he's 53, I'm 53, Burr's 56, Rogan's 56.

• 1:36:40Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:36:41Speaker 01

  You know, Tommy's 49, 48, you know, all of us are like grown men and we're all still building and still doing, and opportunities are still coming to us.

• 1:36:52Bunnie XO?

  And I feel like we're a different breed than what, is it called ageism? I feel like ageism has gotten so much better in this era, like as it was compared to back then, because like you said, the Golden Girls were in their 50s. I'm not gonna look like that in five years when I'm fucking 50, fuck that.

• 1:37:07Speaker 01

  No.

• 1:37:07Bunnie XO?

  You know, but I just feel like we're all like kind of finding like our second prime. Cause I know I didn't get to really have a prime. I was so strung out on pills and alcohol and cocaine that I couldn't enjoy my 20s and 30s. You know, but like going into my 40s and my 50s, like I'm ready to fucking turn up and I feel like you guys are all the same way.

• 1:37:26Speaker 01

  I feel, I feel like I haven't, I feel like I just scratched the surface and I feel like I have, also, we showed up with, the industry changed entirely.

• 1:37:34Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:37:35Speaker 01

  Entirely, I mean, you know, you look at like late night talk shows or, and I love the goats, you know, but like, these are gonna get more views.

• 1:37:45Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:37:45Speaker 01

  This is gonna get more views.

• 1:37:46Bunnie XO?

  Absolutely.

• 1:37:47Speaker 01

  And it's more valuable for me to call Gillis and go, yo, man, can I do your podcast? Than to reach out to a publicist to go, hey, can you please set up to do the Today Show? And then I'll probably do the Today Show also.

• 1:38:01Bunnie XO?

  You're limited on what you can say on those things.

• 1:38:03Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:38:04Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:04Speaker 01

  And you can't really be a full, like, you know, it, so, I don't know what I want. Meaning like,

• 1:38:15Speaker 01

  Someone was like, isn't your goal really to, this has been the big talk is to help younger comedians? And I go, yeah, but I can, I can do that, but they, they gotta help themselves or it's not theirs. You know, like the, Joe helped us, but he just introduced, he just put us on a show and he gave us great advice, but he wasn't like overbearing, like you have to do this. He knew you had to want it, you had to wanna be undeniable.

• 1:38:37Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:38Speaker 01

  And so.

• 1:38:39Bunnie XO?

  I remember Joe from Fear Factor. I grew up in Vegas and Joe used to gamble all the time there. I had a girlfriend who dated him. So I remember Joe when he had hair.

• 1:38:46Speaker 01

  Oh, I do too. I do too.

• 1:38:48Bunnie XO?

  Like a lot of people don't remember that, Joe.

• 1:38:51Speaker 01

  I remember the last few days of Joe's hair.

• 1:38:54Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:38:54Speaker 01

  I do. That's crazy.

• 1:38:56Bunnie XO?

  When the wind blows, so does the hair.

• 1:38:59Speaker 01

  The, uh, I, I think, you know, I know I have a special do at Netflix in 2026.

• 1:39:06Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:07Speaker 01

  That's the material I'm working on now. I've enjoyed that working on this. Look, when I started doing, I mean, things, this is how crazy things have changed. When I started doing specials for Netflix, maybe there were 50 specials a year released.

• 1:39:21Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:21Speaker 01

  Maybe. I would get, I would guess there were probably 700 to a thousand specials released.

• 1:39:28Bunnie XO?

  Has gone.

• 1:39:29Speaker 01

  Released last year.

• 1:39:30Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:30Speaker 01

  I mean, it's on YouTube, everyone, every, and by the way, a lot of really great specials out there.

• 1:39:35Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:39:35Speaker 01

  A lot of really great specials. And then you also have the great ones and then you have really great ones. And then you have really bad ones. And so like, now I look at a special and I go, does any, does the world need another special? You know, I'll do this one, but I'm not, I'm not gonna, I'll tell you what, I'm not gonna be banging down Netflix door going, give me a special.

• 1:39:52Bunnie XO?

  Right.

• 1:39:53Speaker 01

  If they want one, I will absolutely do one, but maybe I take three years to do it, four years to do it. Maybe, uh, you know, I really love acting. I didn't think I was gonna like it as much as I did. I really love acting and I love developing. I love making my own projects. I've always loved podcasting, but I feel like, you know, when we were talking today, I feel like, you know, this is a really fun conversation for me. But I'm certain I've said things twice that I've said before and.

• 1:40:20Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:20Speaker 01

  You're like, I would love to have all original thoughts. Uh. And then the other part of me was like, you know, I woke up today in the Airbnb and I was like, I don't need much for a house. I was like, do I, maybe I just travel more with Leanne. Like, we really loved living in a condo in Atlanta when we were doing the show.

• 1:40:38Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:38Speaker 01

  And I was like, maybe I just, maybe the goal is, life isn't guaranteed. And so maybe I just go and travel and just have fun.

• 1:40:45Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:46Speaker 01

  You know, like when we went to Paris, I mean, what am, why am I not going to Paris once a month?

• 1:40:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:40:51Speaker 01

  It's.

• 1:40:51Bunnie XO?

  We fell in love with Rome. I loved Rome. I know that's not Paris, but really like, oh my God, we fell in love with Rome. We had so much.

• 1:40:58Speaker 01

  We took the girls to Rome and that was a fucking hysterical trip.

• 1:41:02Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I bet.

• 1:41:02Speaker 01

  I missed, that's when they called me, that's where I got the name Baby Walrus.

• 1:41:07Speaker 01

  I guess when I get excited, I do this thing where I go.

• 1:41:13Speaker 01

  And that's where they, they had, they had ice cold watermelon.

• 1:41:16Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:41:16Speaker 01

  And they got me, uh, I was sleeping, I was sleeping and they were like, hey, wake up. You're in Rome. You're only in Rome with us once, Dad. Get up and meet us at the restaurant down the block. So I walked out of the restaurant, uh, I walked out of the hotel. The hotel across the street was where Kurt Cobain had overdosed. This little, I'm a big fan. I had this moment of clarity and I sit down and the guy goes, is this him? And they go, yeah. And he puts out ice cold watermelon and a, um, and a Aperol spritz. And I just went. And they go, oh, look at Baby Walrus.

• 1:41:57Speaker 01

  From that day, I mean, our chat threads, Baby Walrus.

• 1:42:00Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 1:42:05Bunnie XO?

  I love that so much.

• 1:42:06Speaker 01

  But yeah, I don't know. You know what? I, goal wise, goal wise, I don't, I don't want to write a book. I, I did not enjoy that process.

• 1:42:12Bunnie XO?

  It's a rough process.

• 1:42:13Speaker 01

  I would do a self-help book, like with all my fucked up brain stuff. Like number, number one thing in a self-help book, give yourself a nickname.

• 1:42:19Bunnie XO?

  The Burt Bible.

• 1:42:20Speaker 01

  Yeah. Um, but I, you know, I don't know. I don't know.

• 1:42:23Bunnie XO?

  I love that. I love that you don't have a game plan. It's like the, I think, let's normalize people not having a game plan. You know, everybody always has to have something so structured. And it's like, for once in your life, you're, actually, I feel like you've never had a game plan and that you've kind of like. Always succeeded by not having a game plan.

• 1:42:42Speaker 01

  I think, you know, it's also, it's like, you know, Tiger Woods, when he was a kid, he wrote all his goals on the thing, based on Jack Nicklaus's goals.

• 1:42:48Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:42:48Speaker 01

  And so he had, that was his roadmap. And I think a lot of us were like, you know, Dane got a Comedy Center Presents, we need Comedy Center Presents. Oh, Dane's doing arenas, we gotta do arenas. Dane's doing theaters, we gotta do theaters. Dane was our roadmap for so long.

• 1:43:00Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:01Speaker 01

  And then Joe was our roadmap. Oh, we gotta get a podcast. We gotta get big numbers on, you gotta get big guests on podcasts. And then all of a sudden, these roadmaps just started getting more and more faint. It's like when you walk, you ever, have you ever gotten lost in the woods? It's really a surreal experience because at one point, you are very certain you're on a path. And then at one point, and then it gets dark and you're like, am I off the path?

• 1:43:24Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:43:26Speaker 01

  Terrifying.

• 1:43:27Bunnie XO?

  Terrifying.

• 1:43:27Speaker 01

  Feeling to get lost in the woods and it get dark.

• 1:43:31Bunnie XO?

  With no compass.

• 1:43:33Speaker 01

  And no service and no anything and no flashlight.

• 1:43:36Bunnie XO?

  Beginning of a horror movie.

• 1:43:39Speaker 01

  It's also wildly exhilarating.

• 1:43:41Bunnie XO?

  And freeing.

• 1:43:42Speaker 01

  If you know that, look, I'm not gonna die out here tonight. I know the car's over there. I know everyone's partying over there. I know I'm lost, but we're getting through this. And so I think that's where I am. I feel like it's, I feel like the sun's setting and I'm in the woods and I know where I'm headed, but it is getting a little thick.

• 1:44:01Bunnie XO?

  I love that analogy, though. It's so perfect for you. Bert, thank you so much for coming here today.

• 1:44:07Speaker 01

  I love you to death. I do.

• 1:44:08Bunnie XO?

  I love you. I love you. I love Leon.

• 1:44:10Speaker 01

  There's a beautiful bond that our families share.

• 1:44:13Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:44:14Speaker 01

  And I think they're weirdly interchangeable of like, Jellie and Leanne and me and you are all our little eccentricities and Jellie and me and you and Leanne. I mean,

• 1:44:23Bunnie XO?

  I love it.

• 1:44:23Speaker 01

  I think it's, it's really awesome. So.

• 1:44:25Bunnie XO?

  They should bring back the show Wife Swap and we go on it. That'd be fucking, can you imagine Leanne putting my husband in check? That would be fucking hilarious, dude.

• 1:44:34Speaker 01

  I'll, I would, I would pay money and just me and you would just be watching live rings cams of their house.

• 1:44:42Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, literally. Just like, holy shit. We're like the golden retrievers and they're the pit bulls.

• 1:44:47Speaker 01

  Oh my God. I can't imagine. I remember the best, the best moment, like, take it out if you want, but this is like.

• 1:44:58Speaker 01

  We were doing the 5K and the one in Tampa and Jelly flies in overnight into Tampa and lands, goes to sleep and he's got to run at like 12:30, like 1:30. And the whole crew shows up, the whole crew, the band, managers, everyone shows up.

• 1:45:20Bunnie XO?

  My husband rolls with a friggin entourage.

• 1:45:22Speaker 01

  And they're like, Jelly's asleep. And they're like, cool. And they're like, now I'd watched Leanne do this thing. She's a bulldog. Jason Kelsey had walked up. She goes, Jason, I'm a person. You need anything, you tell me. And Jason Kelsey is not really aware. He's a pro athlete. She goes, I can go for pancakes. And she's like, huh? And he's like pancakes. He goes, okay. And so Leanne sourced fucking pancakes at Tampa Bay Stadium for Jason Kelsey. No one was getting pancakes. They brought a chef in to make pancakes for Jason Kelsey within 30 minutes.

• 1:45:56Bunnie XO?

  Wow.

• 1:45:57Speaker 01

  So we're sitting around, it's, it's one o'clock. We're all on stage. Everyone's there. All that's gonna happen is ladies and gentlemen, Jelly's about to roll in. It's our final heat. We all run and the party starts. That's when the party really gets going. And

• 1:46:16Speaker 01

  some of the band members were like, he's sleeping. And they're like, I was like, okay, well, someone wake him up. And they're like, nah.

• 1:46:23Bunnie XO?

  They're like, we want to keep our jobs.

• 1:46:25Speaker 01

  And I go, what do you mean? They're like, I'm not waking him up. And then they look at each other. I'm not waking him up. I'm not fucking waking him up. I want to play tomorrow. And I was like, what do you mean you want to play tomorrow? Like, no one's waking him up. So we go to the tour manager. We go, hey, can you wake up Jelly? He goes, no. And they go, and then they say very candidly, they go, I, I don't think he's gonna run it. And we're like, what do you mean? They're like, well, he's sleeping. I go, you know, but he flew here to run it. We should wake him up. And they're like, do you want to wake him up? And I was like, well, not after all these things. Like, what happens when you wake him up? Is it bad? And they're like, trust me, you don't want to wake him up. And then Leanne just goes, what are we talking about? And they go, Jelly's asleep in the hotel. And she goes, what hotel? And they go, one more ride. She goes, I'll go wake him up. And I was like, If there's ever been a person to wake him up and she goes, fuck it.

• 1:47:10Speaker 01

  Get me a car. I'm gonna wake him up right now. I don't give a fuck. And then all of a sudden someone goes, he's up.

• 1:47:17Speaker 01

  I was like, man, we dodged the perfect storm. I would love that video. Joe, get the fuck up.

• 1:47:24Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 1:47:24Speaker 01

  Get the fuck up, Joe, get the fuck up.

• 1:47:26Bunnie XO?

  I would, I would pay Leanne to do that one day. And you know what? Leanne's probably the only person who could get away with it.

• 1:47:32Speaker 01

  I, I swear to God, when, and I was like, I'm, I know I'm not sending her to her death, but I'm sending her to a battle. But I go, she's gonna come out with a couple of scars. I'll have a couple of scars and we'll run this 5K.

• 1:47:42Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, no, for sure. I would have paid to have seen that anytime, dude. Yeah. So definitely we need to like make a wife swap. I think that would be so funny.

• 1:47:50Speaker 01

  I would, and we'll just live stream theirs the entire time.

• 1:47:52Bunnie XO?

  Live stream it on Twitch. Let's do it. I'm so down.

• 1:47:55Speaker 01

  Do you know what? They'd probably fucking out, they'd probably turn into this perfect fucking power couple.

• 1:48:00Bunnie XO?

  Oh, and just start dominating everything.

• 1:48:02Speaker 01

  She's like, hey, you clean the kitchen? Bert don't clean the kitchen? And he's like, oh, I can do dap pics anywhere.

• 1:48:09Bunnie XO?

  Listen, if she could get my husband to clean the kitchen, I'll marry Leanne. Okay?

• 1:48:14Bunnie XO?

  Bert, you're, I'll be Mrs. Steal Your Girl, all right?

• 1:48:17Speaker 01

  That's great.

• 1:48:18Bunnie XO?

  Thank you so much for coming. I love you. I can't wait to do your podcast later.

• 1:48:22Speaker 01

  I can't wait. I can't wait. Do you know Leanne Morgan?

• 1:48:24Bunnie XO?

  I have interviewed her. Yes. Yes. We talked about menopause. It was great.

• 1:48:29Speaker 01

  I can't fucking wait.

• 1:48:30Bunnie XO?

  She's hilarious.

• 1:48:31Speaker 01

  She is.

• 1:48:32Bunnie XO?

  So have you ever met her?

• 1:48:33Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've known, I've known Leanne. I've known Leanne for a long time.

• 1:48:37Bunnie XO?

  Oh, good.

• 1:48:37Speaker 01

  Not, I mean, but just like, I've known her for a while.

• 1:48:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. No, love her to death. Can't wait. Can't wait to sit down with you.

• 1:48:45Speaker 01

  I can't wait. It's gonna be a blast.

• 1:48:46Bunnie XO?

  Always come and visit me. Next time, bring Leanne. Let's hang out.

• 1:48:49Speaker 01

  My TV show, Free Burt, is streaming on Netflix, uh, January 22nd.

• 1:48:54Bunnie XO?

  That's my birthday.

• 1:48:54Speaker 01

  Is it really?

• 1:48:55Bunnie XO?

  It is my birthday.

• 1:48:56Speaker 01

  Oh, and so, um, Check it out. It is a fictionalized version of my real life and this moment in my life where I had this huge transition that we've talked about a little bit of where everything kind of went to shit and we were at a school where I didn't fit in and I felt like all the dads were cool and had money and I didn't and I tried to fit in and I kind of fucked it up and then I found my own way and it's all about that. And I'll simply say by now you'll probably have seen the trailer and so I hope you liked it. But if you're hearing this today, remember the 20 second, stream it and if you like it, word of mouth is like the greatest thing. Just tell people, tell people like it, you know, share it on social media and enjoy it. I think it's bizarre, but I think it's really

• 1:49:41Speaker 01

  good.

• 1:49:42Bunnie XO?

  Yay, I can't wait. I'm so excited.

• 1:49:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's good. I think, yeah, I think people will like it.

• 1:49:47Bunnie XO?

  I love it. Love you, Bert.

• 1:49:49Speaker 01

  Love you too.

• 1:49:49Bunnie XO?

  Thank you guys for tuning into another episode of Done Blonde. I'll see you guys next week. Bye.