Ask, Tell, Confess: Bagpipers and Bean Biters

It's a zesty episode of Ask, Tell, Confess this week, starting strong with a story about some of the wet and wild things left behind in a hotel lost and found. Then, a hilarious story about a bagpiper, a listener who got her bean bit, and a wife covered in puppy puke. Finally, Bunnie & the gals try to discover what love attachment styles they are. Watch Full Episodes & More: www.dumbblondeunrated.com

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:00Bunnie XO?

  Hey guys, I need to ask you a question. I want to know why in the hell are you not on Patreon? I don't think you guys even realize how much content we have on Patreon. Let me break it down for you. We have the Bunny XO Show, we have Meet the DeForts, we have Popaganda, we have more shows that we're adding, and not to mention, we have the visuals of the podcast. Head over to www.patreon.com backslash dumb blonde podcast and sign up. Ask Taylor Confetti.

• 0:39Speaker 01

  Ask Taylor Confetti. Ask Taylor Confetti.

• 0:48Bunnie XO?

  Hello, everybody. Welcome to Ask Taylor Confetti.

• 1:12Speaker 02

  I don't never get old. That's literally my favorite thing. I prepare for that. I never know what's coming each week, something different.

• 1:18Bunnie XO?

  I don't either. I do it in the moment. It's just a fucking freestyle. It's a free for all. Well, I am not feeling great today. I've been taking iron supplements, trying to get my ferritin levels up, ladies, and let me tell you, it's been a battle. It is not fun, let me tell you.

• 1:36Bunnie XO?

  Excuse me, Jason, bleep that too, please. No. Make wind chime sounds come out.

• 1:45Bunnie XO?

  No, it's bad. Your girl's struggling over here. I know we had to film a podcast today too. I'm like having hot flashes, my fucking, okay, I give up.

• 1:53Speaker 02

  It's the dial. It's the little turny thingy.

• 1:55Bunnie XO?

  It won't turn anymore. Oh.

• 1:58Speaker 02

  That thing.

• 1:59Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 2:00Bunnie XO?

  Hello?

• 2:02Bunnie XO?

  Still not, it's turned.

• 2:04Speaker 02

  What did you do to it?

• 2:06Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 2:07Speaker 02

  Why are you doing that?

• 2:09Bunnie XO?

  There we go.

• 2:10Speaker 02

  Don't do that.

• 2:11Bunnie XO?

  Hello?

• 2:12Speaker 02

  Don't ever do that.

• 2:13Bunnie XO?

  Okay, hi, we're back. Anyways.

• 2:15Bunnie XO?

  Please leave that in there.

• 2:16Bunnie XO?

  Hi, friends.

• 2:18Bunnie XO?

  Please. Chachi, get over here. Come on, man. I've been roaming around. Always looking down at what I see. Painted faces. Remember me?

• 2:37Bunnie XO?

  You know that I give you somebody.

• 2:44Bunnie XO?

  Good.

• 2:44Speaker 02

  That wasn't planned.

• 2:45Bunnie XO?

  That was a good one. It was good. All right, who's gonna kick this off, Ask, Talk, Confess? You got?

• 2:49Speaker 04

  Me.

• 2:50Bunnie XO?

  Oh.

• 2:50Speaker 04

  Because I don't want anyone to take this fucking story.

• 2:52Bunnie XO?

  You fucking took the story I'm gonna, I was gonna tell, didn't you? Does it start with, so?

• 3:00Bunnie XO?

  I don't know, hold on, I gotta look, hold on, I'll tell you right now if it does. Hold please. Hold on. Good old Charlene. No.

• 3:07Speaker 02

  I'm just saying.

• 3:08Bunnie XO?

  Bye, good old Charlene.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  Y'all can't beat me this week, so I'm a.

• 3:11Bunnie XO?

  Oh, no, no, you can't beat me this week.

• 3:12Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 3:15Bunnie XO?

  Challenge accepted. Okay.

• 3:17Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 3:17Bunnie XO?

  You know what, though? I love that Ask, Tell, Confess has inspired so many other people to do little segments. I've seen pretty big creators copying what we're doing.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 3:28Bunnie XO?

  And smaller creators. I love it, though. It's awesome.

• 3:32Speaker 02

  We started a trend, guys.

• 3:33Bunnie XO?

  I love that. We've always done that, though. We never get our flowers, but we are always the OGs.

• 3:38Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 3:39Bunnie XO?

  Facts, and I will stand on that, dude.

• 3:41Speaker 02

  Stand.

• 3:43Bunnie XO?

  Hello. Okay, Charlene said, show. I work at a hotel, about a three-star hotel, nothing too fancy, but not gross either. I'm a housekeeper and, girls, let me tell you what these people leave. This one room left their play toys. Oh, yeah, I read this one. I did not read this. Talking a dildo bigger than your face and a booty plug about the size of your fist and condoms. Was it a traffic cone? Also. I hope. Our rule is we have to keep items that the guest leaves for three months in a box in the back room. Those sit back there for three months.

• 4:20Speaker 04

  Then finally was able to throw it away. The absolute worst room I had to clean. I'd like for you to make your own assumption on what the use was for. I walk into the room and the floor is kind of slippery. There's a nasty shit smell on the air and I'm thinking the toilet's clogged. I walk to the bed, pull the blanket back and see two 20 ounce soda bottles coated in this white stuff, not open. Liquid's still in, seal not broken. There's a banana unpeeled with the same white stuff. Also, two hangers were broken and coated in this white stuff. Also, our white sheets now smeared in brown, smelly stuff. And I gotta go back and get a second pair of gloves to put on and get a trash bag to come.

• 5:03Speaker 04

  Pull the blanket farther back. There's more bananas, unpeeled and a can of cooking Crisco oil gone. I end up throwing all the sheets and blanket away. I go to the bathroom. The door handle is coated in the Crisco cooking oil. Also, the shower hat is detachable because it's handicap room and the shower head and handles were also coated in Crisco oil. I clean out the fridge and freezers. There's another can of oil in the freezer. This person, male, paid cash for the room. So you had to leave a cleaning deposit that you get back when you check out if nothing's wrong. And he never came to get the money back. So what do you think was happening in that room?

• 5:45Bunnie XO?

  I mean, obviously it was a butt bongo fiesta. They were just having a

• 5:53Speaker 04

  What did you just say?

• 5:54Bunnie XO?

  They were just having a fucking party.

• 5:57Speaker 04

  Butt bongo fiesta?

• 5:58Bunnie XO?

  Yeah. They were having a fucking grand old time.

• 6:02Speaker 04

  Two liter bottles?

• 6:03Bunnie XO?

  I have done some weird shit in hotel rooms. That didn't even faze me. Okay?

• 6:08Speaker 04

  I'm over here the whole time going.

• 6:10Bunnie XO?

  I'm gonna tell you guys, so this one time I was with, and we were in, it made it into a paparazzi newspaper. I have it, or not newspaper, fucking a magazine.

• 6:26Bunnie XO?

  Was there, like, everybody was there. We were all partying. Holly Madison was there. Criss Angel was there. Like, it was a lot of people in this room. They had this huge fucking shower that like, I don't know why the Palms had this fucking huge shower in the suite, but they did. It was probably half the size of this room. Like, it was a huge shower. The band members took bottles of like baby oil and put it all over the walls, all on the floor in this bathroom. And like, girls were in there just fucking slipping, sliding naked. Like, it was hilarious. So, I mean, you could have a fucking party with some Crisco too. It's the same concept. You know, and then maybe just-

• 7:05Speaker 04

  Coat hangers.

• 7:06Speaker 02

  We could. Very different.

• 7:09Speaker 04

  Skipping baskets.

• 7:10Speaker 02

  I feel like maybe something got stuck and they used the coat hangers to try to get it out.

• 7:14Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, like a turd or something.

• 7:15Speaker 04

  What's the white stuff?

• 7:16Bunnie XO?

  Uh, Crisco. Crisco's white.

• 7:18Speaker 04

  Okay, okay.

• 7:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, when it dries, it's all white and stuff.

• 7:21Bunnie XO?

  Crisco's white, yeah.

• 7:22Speaker 04

  Bananas, poor bananas. Mm.

• 7:25Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 7:25Speaker 02

  Oh, what if that got stuck? Cause you know, once it mushes-

• 7:30Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  There's not really much-

• 7:31Bunnie XO?

  And that could be why the toilet was clogged?

• 7:33Speaker 02

  Getting it out.

• 7:34Speaker 04

  You shit out bananas.

• 7:35Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 7:38Speaker 04

  I could not, I could not work, I could not work at-

• 7:40Bunnie XO?

  No, you couldn't pay me enough. I wouldn't clean that. I'd be like, listen-

• 7:44Speaker 04

  I would quit my job that day.

• 7:45Bunnie XO?

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• 8:30Bunnie XO?

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• 8:35Bunnie XO?

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• 8:54Speaker 05

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• 9:24Bunnie XO?

  All right, you guys ready? Yeah. God, I got some good ones. I don't know which one to do first. As a bag, as a bag piper, I play many gigs.

• 9:37Bunnie XO?

  Okay.

• 9:40Bunnie XO?

  Recently, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends. So the service was to be at a popper cemetery in the Kentucky backcountry. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and the crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave, looked down, and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for

• 10:24Bunnie XO?

  this man with no family and friends. I played like I never played before for this homeless man. And as I played Amazing Grace, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept. When I, when I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car, though my head was hung low and my heart was full. As I was opening my door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, sweet mother of Jesus, I've never seen nothing like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years.

• 10:59Speaker 02

  Stop it right the fuck now. What?

• 11:06Bunnie XO?

  He thought it was a coffin, but it was a septic tank.

• 11:10Speaker 02

  Was it in the graveyard?

• 11:12Bunnie XO?

  It was, they had dug a hole to put the septic tank in and the dude thought it was the homeless man's grave site.

• 11:20Speaker 02

  Why did they cry?

• 11:22Bunnie XO?

  Have you ever heard bagpipes play? They will evoke emotion, dude.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  Man, when we went on our family vacation recently, someone just started playing them outside of our hotel to the sunset. He was just in shorts. Playing the bagpipes. It's emotional.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  Yeah. Alright, yeah.

• 11:41Speaker 02

  You've clearly never heard them.

• 11:43Bunnie XO?

  You know what? We need to, we're hiring a bagpiper.

• 11:47Speaker 02

  Her birthday this year, you're gonna get woken up with a fucking bagpiper.

• 11:50Speaker 04

  I'm changing the lock code. No one's getting in my house.

• 11:54Speaker 02

  We're gonna surprise you for a week straight. He's gonna be in your car.

• 11:58Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, just in the backseat.

• 12:01Speaker 04

  My god. I would never talk to you guys again.

• 12:07Bunnie XO?

  Could you imagine?

• 12:08Speaker 04

  Never talk to you guys again.

• 12:10Bunnie XO?

  Alright.

• 12:11Speaker 04

  I'm waking up early on my birthday this year. I'm gonna be like waiting.

• 12:15Speaker 02

  Oh, you think we're gonna do it on the actual birthday?

• 12:17Bunnie XO?

  No, it's gonna be like sadly mistaken. For like a quinceanera.

• 12:21Speaker 02

  I was in Raising Canes the other day and she had a quinceanera in Raising Canes.

• 12:25Bunnie XO?

  That's fucking fire.

• 12:27Speaker 02

  Olivia goes, is that a princess? I said, close. Yeah, close.

• 12:31Bunnie XO?

  I love that.

• 12:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:34Speaker 04

  And that's what I would have done if I had one.

• 12:35Speaker 02

  Little jealous.

• 12:36Bunnie XO?

  Listen, your parents are doing it right. If you're having a fucking quinceanera at, at Raising Canes.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  At Raising Canes. It was great.

• 12:43Bunnie XO?

  Anybody else having hot flashes? Cause I am.

• 12:45Speaker 04

  No. Kind of cold over here.

• 12:47Bunnie XO?

  Perfect.

• 12:50Speaker 02

  I like your hoodie. Thank you. Yeah. That's cute. What is, what is that? It's like it's my Laverne and Shirley patch. Oh, yeah, I know. You should definitely go on TikTok and just post it. Well, it's got 500,000 views. I feel like we should drop them early. They're not made. Those were samples. Well, put them on back orders. She texts me and she goes, everyone loves these. I said, what? Go on TikTok? She already unpackaged them. Put them on TikTok? Nobody told me I couldn't. I said, okay. I saw that comment. You're like, oh, we're just gonna share secrets? All right. I can't say this person's name. I was hooking up with this guy. He went down on me and he bit my clit. No.

• 13:28Bunnie XO?

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• 14:10Bunnie XO?

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• 14:17Speaker 06

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• 14:29Speaker 07

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• 14:59Speaker 02

  I spent the weekend in the hospital after having to have emergency surgery to stop the bleeding because he popped a blood vessel. He was arrested while I was in surgery and it's been almost a year and I still don't have total feeling back in my area down there.

• 15:16Bunnie XO?

  Why the fuck would he do that? Was he being mean or did he think he was being sexy? Was it like?

• 15:23Speaker 02

  The fact that he was arrested, I feel like it was maybe mean. I feel like it was maybe a.

• 15:27Bunnie XO?

  How hard do you have to bite?

• 15:31Bunnie XO?

  I couldn't imagine. My fucking pussy just tied itself in a knot. Like, there's no fucking way. Mine just got up and left.

• 15:39Bunnie XO?

  Mine's inverted. Okay, it is fucking, it's literally just skin now. I don't even have fucking pussy. Like a Barbie doll? Yeah, yeah, literally.

• 15:50Bunnie XO?

  Yeah.

• 15:51Speaker 02

  Yep, that one was short, sweet, to the point. I appreciate you for sharing that.

• 15:56Bunnie XO?

  Sweet about that. That's rough. I feel sorry for you, dude.

• 16:00Speaker 02

  I know.

• 16:01Bunnie XO?

  You know how many nerves you have in your fucking clit, dude?

• 16:03Speaker 02

  And now she doesn't have the feeling back?

• 16:04Bunnie XO?

  Um, I'd fight a motherfucker, dude. That's all we got is that little bean, man.

• 16:09Speaker 02

  That's all we got.

• 16:12Bunnie XO?

  That's all we got. That's the magic bean, man. What is that fucking fairy tale Jimmy and the Beanstalk?

• 16:19Speaker 02

  Okay, but also how do you?

• 16:22Bunnie XO?

  Right? What is it called?

• 16:27Bunnie XO?

  What is it called? James and the Giant? No, that's James and the Giant Peach.

• 16:32Speaker 02

  Giant Peach, oh, what is it?

• 16:34Bunnie XO?

  You know, Jack and the fucking Beanstalk, dude. Don't be. Jimmy. Jack clearly fucked up the Beanstalk. That is terrible, dude.

• 16:45Bunnie XO?

  God.

• 16:48Speaker 02

  How do you fix that?

• 16:49Bunnie XO?

  How do you? She probably has PTSD. I don't know. I don't know. She probably has fucking PTSD, bro. Like, that's rough.

• 16:58Speaker 02

  That's so sad. I feel really bad for her.

• 17:01Bunnie XO?

  Whoever you are, man, that's my fucking prayers are with you. Thoughts and prayers.

• 17:07Speaker 02

  R.I.P. your clit.

• 17:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, that was mine.

• 17:12Bunnie XO?

  That's the one you thought was gonna beat my fucking bagpipes?

• 17:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:16Bunnie XO?

  No.

• 17:18Bunnie XO?

  Bye. Bye.

• 17:23Bunnie XO?

  No. No, not at all.

• 17:27Speaker 02

  You got your other one?

• 17:28Bunnie XO?

  I got a, I got two fucking hammers.

• 17:30Speaker 02

  Oh, we'll do it for the next one.

• 17:31Bunnie XO?

  Oh, one's a question.

• 17:32Speaker 02

  Okay, go ahead.

• 17:33Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, do a question. A little more serious.

• 17:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 17:35Speaker 04

  Uh, this is for all of us. What's our view on attachment styles and have you read up on your own attachment style?

• 17:42Speaker 02

  I read that one too. I almost chose that. Nice, nice. I don't know what that is.

• 17:46Bunnie XO?

  I mean, I kind of know what it is. I, I think I have an avoidant attachment style, atta- attachment style. You would probably have an avoidant attachment style too. I'm avoiding anything.

• 17:57Speaker 02

  What is this?

• 17:58Bunnie XO?

  You are fucking codependent and fucking very attached to people, but the problem is Yeah. Once they love you back, then you're Only like two people. Well, the two that I've seen, you have fucking been a cling on. With the two?

• 18:15Speaker 02

  Oh, I thought we were talking about just me?

• 18:17Bunnie XO?

  No, I'm talking about and who was the other one?

• 18:23Bunnie XO?

  There was one more. I forget, but you were like, and just would not be without them.

• 18:28Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:30Bunnie XO?

  Who? God, who was the other one? There was one more. I can't think of it right. Oh, uh,

• 18:37Bunnie XO?

  fuck. We'll, we'll have to get back on that one. I forget. There was another one.

• 18:43Speaker 02

  Different.

• 18:44Bunnie XO?

  Yep. Yep, yep. Now, I'm so bad.

• 18:49Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh dude.

• 18:50Bunnie XO?

  I clown him so bad.

• 18:51Speaker 02

  It's bad.

• 18:53Bunnie XO?

  Well, I mean, he kind of ruined it for himself.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, it was the water gun.

• 18:59Bunnie XO?

  It'll fucking, it just takes one thing for a guy to do.

• 19:02Speaker 02

  One thing.

• 19:02Bunnie XO?

  A, a man can put you through fucking hell.

• 19:05Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 19:06Bunnie XO?

  And you literally will tolerate it, tolerate it. And then they do one like weird hand movement or like, I don't even know.

• 19:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:14Bunnie XO?

  And fucking, that's it. It's over with.

• 19:17Speaker 02

  Have you guys seen the like, the list of x, right? And the guy is like in, like he's snorkeling or something.

• 19:24Bunnie XO?

  He's like, don't snorkel.

• 19:27Speaker 02

  The little toes are under the water, trying to keep him afloat. And I was like, Oh yeah.

• 19:32Speaker 04

  Or the guy that was like bouncing on trampolines and his feet when he bounced was like,

• 19:37Bunnie XO?

  no, no, you can't do that.

• 19:40Speaker 02

  I get it so bad. Or when they wrap their toes around a like chair rail.

• 19:45Bunnie XO?

  Oh, I can't do it. I can't do it. Um, but as far as attachment styles, I do think there's truth to them. I don't know enough to like preach on them though.

• 19:54Speaker 02

  No, I've never, yeah. Is there a test we can take?

• 19:57Bunnie XO?

  There is. There's a bunch of things. I feel like I've tested for everything else but that.

• 20:00Speaker 02

  Let's all take the test tonight.

• 20:02Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, we'll take, we'll get back to you on that. Mine is definitely not avoidant attachment.

• 20:06Speaker 08

  No, mine is, uh, touch me. Like, I like, I wanna touch. Like I attach and wanna touch you and hug you and kiss you and smother you. That's my thing.

• 20:14Bunnie XO?

  We like that.

• 20:15Speaker 08

  Yeah.

• 20:16Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 20:17Speaker 08

  That's what I do.

• 20:18Speaker 02

  Uh, let's listen to a voicemail. It's only one minute long.

• 20:23Bunnie XO?

  Thank God.

• 20:24Speaker 02

  I made sure to tell everyone one minute, short and sweet.

• 20:26Bunnie XO?

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• 21:11Bunnie XO?

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• 21:33Speaker 09

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• 22:13Speaker 11

  Yes, I just wanted to call in and tell a story that happened to me and my wife the other day. It was the other morning, actually. So, we got a new puppy. The puppy, it puked in the bed. And then my wife cleaned it up in the middle of the night, which is great and fun. Well, then the next morning, we made very passionate love. It was great and amazing. And then after we were done, I went and got us a towel to clean everything up, which I didn't know what my wife used to clean the puke up with. So I just grabbed the first towel I saw and went back. There's my wife still just sitting there in her birthday suit. And then, so like she's cleaning herself up and all that kind of good stuff. And then I saw like little like pieces and like chunks coming out and then it clicked.

• 22:59Speaker 11

  She's using the towel that we cleaned the puke up with. So now she's got puke on her from the dog. And then like I asked, and she's like, where'd you get that towel? I was like, I got it in the bathroom. And then it clicked to her. And then I was like, yeah, I think you need to go get a shower now. That's it. Thank you.

• 23:20Bunnie XO?

  That's fucking hilarious. I love him. Whoever that is, I love him. God. He's awesome. He said, that's it. Thank you. The chunks?

• 23:30Bunnie XO?

  I would throw up. You guys, that is so disgusting. I would throw up. Yeah. Not puppy puke. Oh, puppy puke's the worst. That was a good one. That was a good story. That was really good. It was really good. I actually had a situation where one time I was like, you know, like when you're laying in bed and fucking all, you know, you're waking up and you're discombobulated or whatever. I was so drunk the night before and I woke up and I was so parched. Like I just needed water terribly, right? So I reached next and get a water bottle and fucking, this is before I was doing the crack thing. And I go and I drink and when I swallow, I feel like a big ass just slimy something go down my throat.

• 24:14Bunnie XO?

  And when I did it, my ex was like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's the fucking bottle that I spit a loogie in last night.

• 24:24Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, this was terrible. Imagine how I felt, bitches. It was fucking rough.

• 24:31Speaker 02

  I'm gonna throw up.

• 24:32Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, it was bad. It tasted like I swallowed an oyster.

• 24:40Speaker 02

  That was the worst story ever.

• 24:41Bunnie XO?

  Yeah, I just had to share. Just had to share. Yeah, I've got more where that came from.

• 24:45Speaker 02

  Let's end it.

• 24:48Bunnie XO?

  I'm done, guys. I'm done. We'll see you guys next week. Bye.

• 24:57Bunnie XO?

  We use Shopify for our storefront at bunnyxo.com and one thing I've learned from running an online store is that you definitely don't have to be an ecommerce expert to get started. I think a lot of people get intimidated by the website side of starting a business, but Shopify makes that part so much easier. One of my favorite things is having everything in one place when you're running a business. You already have a million things going on, so the last thing you want is for managing your storefront to be one more thing to stress about. Shopify makes it easy to get your store launched, manage it, and actually focus on selling. They also have pre-built themes and an AI site builder that can help you create a professional-looking storefront without having to build a website from scratch. And if a friend asks me about starting a store before the holidays, I tell them, "Don't

• 25:41Bunnie XO?

  wait until Black Friday. Get it launched. Learn what works for you and have everything ready before that holiday traffic starts coming in." If you're ready to launch your business before Black Friday, go to Shopify.com/bunny to start your free trial. That's Shopify.com/B-U-N-N-I-E. Go to Shopify.com/bunny today to hear your first