Hex In The City (Part 2)

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• 0:00Speaker 00

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• 0:24Speaker 01

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• 0:30Speaker 02

  Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, Wonderweaving Wade continues the epic adventure as the journey gets darker. Brainy Bob proclaims his humanity, dumps the Limbas, disbelieves, and acts deeply psychotic. Moro-brained cell Mark jumps to the rescue, has divine inspiration, tortures, gets pinched, and dumps bait. From a fork in the road to leotards.

• 1:06Speaker 02

  It's time for Hex in the City, Part 2. Now, sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

• 1:21Speaker 03

  Hey, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Distractible. We're gonna jump right back into the action of Hex in the City. We had to cut the last one short, so we're gonna jump right back into where we were. So if you haven't seen Part 1, this is your chance to go watch Part 1 of Hex in the City before we continue, because otherwise, none of this is going to make sense. There is no small talk, there is no big talk, there might be some end talk. We're gonna get into Hex in the City, Part 2, right now. As you make your way down, again, you're not in a great area. You hear gunfire in the distance, you hear screaming, you hear yelling, you hear anger. Boarded up windows, a building on fire? It looks like there's a smoke coming from a building up ahead. You're continuing to push on, but you feel a bit of trepidation as you do.

• 2:04Speaker 03

  You see a railroad track coming up that you're gonna have to cross to keep going. And again, there's a building on fire, you hear sirens in the distance, there's more gunfire than before, and it's unnaturally dark. There are streetlights, there's light from the fire, you can see, but the sky itself is just darkness. You don't see stars, you don't see a moon, maybe it's cloudy. It looks like maybe it rained recently, it's a bit wet around, but things just, again, are feeling wrong. As you approach the railroad track to cross over, I need you both to make deck saves.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  Uh-oh. Seven.

• 2:38Speaker 05

  Twenty!

• 2:40Speaker 04

  Oh, god, jeez.

• 2:42Speaker 03

  Mark, roll one more time for me.

• 2:44Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 2:46Speaker 05

  Eight!

• 2:48Speaker 04

  Don't undo my 20, man. My 20 was so good.

• 2:50Speaker 03

  No, no, it does not undo your 20. It was a bonus, it was a bonus thing. As you go to cross the railroad track, almost out of nowhere, you hear the sound of a train. You're going to step over it. Mark, you jump back. Bob, you almost freeze. This came out of nowhere. You feel Mark's hand grab your back. This was the bonus roll.

• 3:09Speaker 04

  Ah.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  And start to pull you back. Your hands go out as you're pulled back, and one of them kinda gets hit. So you're gonna take another 5 points of damage, which is a lot less than you would've taken by getting hit by a train typically.

• 3:20Speaker 04

  Fair enough, I guess.

• 3:21Speaker 03

  But Mark pulls you back in time, so you don't get just walloped by this train that came out of nowhere. Mark, with superhuman reflexes almost, you jump back and start to pull Bob back. And this train goes flying by, in the front of the train, you can't really make out, because you're still jumping backwards. The train has a lot of cars, again, there's some of them seem to be on fire. There's people crawling over them, maybe trying to escape whatever's going on in the city. I'll have you both roll me Perception checks again, which is Wisdom.

• 3:50Speaker 05

  19. Could use that for the train situation.

• 3:53Speaker 04

  12.

• 3:54Speaker 03

  Bob, you notice first, some of the people crawling around on this train, they're not moving like normal people should. And there are people on top of the train, kinda fighting these people and kicking them back. You just fought some mobsters and newsboy people, uh, newsboy hats or whatever, right? That was weird. These seem to be zombies crawling over this train. Like, they look undead, some of them, and Mark, you're starting to see this too. Some of them look like they're missing limbs, they're kind of rotted, and people are fighting them off on top of this train, trying to like, hold them down. And in the distance, some of these fires, you see people running through it. I know, those are probably zombies too, kinda burning, not paying attention to the fact that they're hurt at all. Just charging at groups of people that are fleeing, fighting, frozen, in different, different parts of the city here.

• 4:39Speaker 03

  Things have opened up, you're no longer just in an alleyway, you're almost at like, uh, think like Fountain Square in Cincinnati. It opens up, there's still a bunch of buildings around, but there's a nice little opening, a nice little area here. But the area is not nice right now, between the fires, the gunfire, people fighting with melee, people on the ground being bit. Somehow, you're in a zombie apocalypse.

• 4:57Speaker 05

  Damn. I turn to Mark with my fucked up arm. I start to look a little more crazy and harried than I did previously, and I say, no, man.

• 5:05Speaker 04

  They're trying to stop us. Did you notice how that train came out of nowhere, man? They're trying to stop us. That's the way we have to go.

• 5:14Speaker 05

  Oh, I feel like it's only pure luck that I managed to grab the nape of your neck enough to pull you back. Yeah, we're almost obliterated. Yeah, thanks for that. No, you're here, so just keep doing that, and, uh, I'll keep doing the thinking, and you keep doing all of the things that require physical movements or actions.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 5:34Speaker 05

  Uh, just keep me alive, and, and, and, uh, it's clear, and I understand it now.

• 5:40Speaker 04

  Like Ratatouille, like Ratatouille, you're gonna control me.

• 5:46Speaker 05

  Oh, I control you. Okay, so I'm Remy, and you're what's-his-face. Okay, I'm gonna Ratatouille you.

• 5:51Speaker 04

  Which one was the brains?

• 5:53Speaker 05

  Remy was the mouse.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  While you two are debating this, you guys are aware that you're standing right next to this train, which has now passed. You're out in the open, and there are zombies and people running around, and some people are having trouble discerning one from the other. They're definitely attacking anything that moves that gets too close to them. You do not feel like you're in a safe spot to continue this conversation. You can either join in the action or try to keep a low profile.

• 6:16Speaker 04

  All right, Brainiac, we gotta move. Is that my job or your job?

• 6:21Speaker 05

  You're right, we have to move together, but my brilliant idea is, as we move, we both have to start yelling, "We're alive! We're not zombies! We're alive!" So everyone knows which side we're on in this situation.

• 6:34Speaker 04

  All right, sounds good. I like that. Yeah, we definitely don't wanna be on the zombie side.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  All right, so you're not steffing through, you're trying to make sure the people don't attack you. Understood.

• 6:42Speaker 04

  And which direction are we moving?

• 6:44Speaker 05

  Across the train tracks, further east.

• 6:47Speaker 03

  You're continuing to move kind of in the east direction. It's not as perfectly straight line, but you're definitely, overall, you've been moving east. Um, as you move east yelling, "We're alive..."

• 6:55Speaker 04

  And we're not zombies, and we're saying we're not zombies too.

• 6:58Speaker 03

  Yep, both of those. Somebody fighting a zombie looks over and says,

• 7:03Speaker 06

  That's great. I also am not a zombie.

• 7:06Speaker 03

  And then they continue fighting.

• 7:08Speaker 04

  Uh, can I scan around for any weapons I can pick up? Cause I don't have one at the moment.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  Oh, you didn't grab the cricket bat from before?

• 7:15Speaker 04

  Oh, did I? Oh, I did. Did I? I did.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  I said you guys could grab those weapons if you wanted to, so...

• 7:20Speaker 05

  Yeah, I sort of assumed that, that we each took one.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Uh, otherwise, if you do wanna scan, I mean, you're welcome to look around.

• 7:26Speaker 04

  And just while we're walking and shouting, I figured I might as well.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Um, that's gonna be Perception, that'll be another Wisdom. Check.

• 7:33Speaker 04

  12.

• 7:34Speaker 05

  12.

• 7:35Speaker 03

  So you do see things thrown about. People have been being attacked, some have won their fights, some have lost their fights. So there are like, a couple of handguns, there's a metal pipe, there's things like that lying around. The unfortunate thing is, they're all very close to groups of zombies. So you can go try to grab something, but you're gonna be walking right up to the things that you're thus far trying to avoid.

• 7:55Speaker 04

  I'm not gonna risk it, not gonna risk it, unless...

• 7:59Speaker 03

  So there is some commotion. You do notice, as you're looking around, some of the undead are looking in your direction and making their way. And these aren't just the slow, whatever zombies, these are crawling around on all fours. They were climbing up on the train cars. These things move almost, uh, what was the, was it World War Z or whatever, where the zombies kinda move more creepily and stuff? So it's like, more, much more dexterous zombies. They're making their way toward you, and it looks like they're starting to pick up the pace a little bit.

• 8:29Speaker 05

  I have an idea, and I look over at Mark and I say, wait a minute, change the strategy, and I start yelling, "We are zombies! We're dead like you! We're zombies!" And I look at him, kinda like, eh?

• 8:44Speaker 04

  You're, you're the rat to my, my touie. We are zombies! We are dead! And then I connect- Two brain cells like really, what if you yell one and I yell the other?

• 8:55Speaker 05

  Which one do you want to be?

• 8:56Speaker 04

  I'll be the live one.

• 8:57Speaker 05

  I'm a zombie, I'm not a zombie, I'm not a zombie, I'm alive.

• 9:05Speaker 03

  I'm gonna have you both roll charisma checks, maybe not for the reason you think.

• 9:11Speaker 05

  Got an eight.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  I got a five.

• 9:15Speaker 05

  Oh no.

• 9:17Speaker 03

  You yell this and the zombies don't start coming your, uh, stop coming your way. The person who said that's great, I'm not a zombie either, looks at you and says,

• 9:26Speaker 06

  That's great. Oh no, they are, that's great. I'm also, oh no.

• 9:31Speaker 03

  And they just keep switching what they're saying in response to you. As they continue to fight, the zombies themselves seem to be mindless. They're just, they're just coming at you. They're not listening to the words you say. They're just hear the noise and they're coming at you.

• 9:44Speaker 05

  I feel like plan is working exactly as I had hoped. But I look around just to see if, make sure that it is. How are we in like, they're about to jump us territory or how far away are the zombies from us right now?

• 9:59Speaker 03

  You're gonna have to run to avoid fighting them and even that's going to come with its own risks. You could try to just bolt, you could try to run and hide, but at this point, like they're making their way your direction. And they're picking up speed. You have, we'll call it like 10 seconds before they're on you.

• 10:15Speaker 05

  Do we see anywhere that we could try and get inside of? If I, if I glance around, is there like a building we can dart inside of?

• 10:22Speaker 03

  There are lots of buildings around. I'll say there's one that's definitely not in great shape, broken glass, broken windows. You don't know what's going on inside of there. So there could be more trouble in there, but the buildings aren't exactly closed and locked up tight. And that one's not on fire at the moment. So yeah, there's at least one you can make your way inside. It's tall too. The buildings around you are very tall.

• 10:41Speaker 05

  Very tall. Just as an experiment, I have a thought and I want to try it. I tell Mark, don't actually do reach for it or anything, but just imagine you're taking the SpaghettiOs out of your backpack and eating them and just think really hard about doing that. Like you're, like you're using them from your hot bar in a video game or something, but don't actually do anything. Just like see what happens.

• 11:06Speaker 04

  All right.

• 11:07Speaker 00

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• 11:39Speaker 03

  You think those SpaghettiOs would taste pretty good. You kind of wish you could heat them up or had a bowl, but they sound good.

• 11:45Speaker 05

  Nothing else happens?

• 11:46Speaker 03

  Nothing else happened.

• 11:48Speaker 05

  I look at Mark as he's about to explode and I say, stop, stop, stop. That was a terrible idea. I'm a fucking idiot. We gotta run.

• 11:54Speaker 04

  All right, okay.

• 11:56Speaker 03

  Is your goal to just bolt through the building or to use the building to hide?

• 11:59Speaker 05

  I feel like we gotta keep moving. My goal would be to like go in, do some loops around, Scooby do them. Keep heading east somehow. Once we, once we get lost in the building.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  Okay. So as you run into the building, I'm going to have you make two checks. Uh, dexterity, just to make sure you guys don't trip over the rubble and crap that's thrown all about the floor. And then perception checks to figure out kind of a way through here.

• 12:22Speaker 05

  My first roll is an 11.

• 12:23Speaker 03

  Okay, that's a dex.

• 12:25Speaker 05

  And then a 13.

• 12:27Speaker 04

  Oh, it's 20. Whoosh. Five, damn it.

• 12:31Speaker 03

  You guys go into this building and Bob, you don't fall over. You don't, you kind of, you know, stumble here or there, but you don't fall over. You maneuver around as you're carefully maneuvering. You see another door on the other side of this building, again to the east. It doesn't look like a door that belongs in this building. There's a lot of like glass doors, metal doors. This looks like a wooden front door with some like light behind it. Mark, you do not see the door, but man, are you dodging and weaving your way through this place? You even flip over a shopping cart for no reason. Why is there a shopping cart in this building? It's not a store. I don't know. But you dodge over it. Bob is catching up to you, looking past as you're maneuvering around like an acrobat. Looking very impressive to Bob. Uh, when you land, you were facing Bob and kind of like, see what I just did?

• 13:16Speaker 03

  More than paying attention to your surroundings.

• 13:18Speaker 06

  Ta-da.

• 13:19Speaker 04

  You say run, Bob, I run, just like back when I was in high school.

• 13:24Speaker 05

  You really do, man. You know what? You deliver. I, I, uh, look up at Mark from his glorious landing and I point at the door that goes out to the east and I'm like, come on. And I keep stumbling clumsily around towards it.

• 13:37Speaker 03

  When you get up to where Mark is, he's by again, the shopping cart that doesn't look like it belongs. Inside the shopping cart, you see Bob, you see three bags of Cool Ranch Doritos.

• 13:49Speaker 05

  That changes things. We need those. Do they all, how many fit in Mark's backpack?

• 13:53Speaker 03

  Oh, they'd all fit. Yeah, they'd all fit. Are they full size or fun size? No, they're just like the little fun size ones.

• 13:59Speaker 05

  Yeah, we definitely take those. We check those all. Wait a minute. Those are bait. I forgot I'm putting the pieces together. I forgot about the pieces.

• 14:07Speaker 04

  I'm getting a flashback here.

• 14:09Speaker 05

  I put one of them in Mark's backpack. I hand one to Mark and I take one and I say, open them and spread them around. And I just take mine and go whoosh and it's only got like five chips in it, but.

• 14:20Speaker 03

  Are you sure we gotta open all of them?

• 14:23Speaker 05

  Oh, I saved one. I saved one. Opening two. I put one in the backpack for later.

• 14:27Speaker 03

  The chip that flies up, do you eat it or do you just let it fall?

• 14:30Speaker 05

  I mean, it basically flies into my mouth. I probably eat it. I have to eat it if it's, if it's gonna be like that.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  You recover one hit point.

• 14:38Speaker 05

  All right.

• 14:39Speaker 04

  Damn, that looked good, man. That looks so good.

• 14:42Speaker 03

  The rest of them do go flying around and you've got one bag in Mark's backpack. At this point, are you going to sit around and see if the bait works or are you going to make your way toward the door? Or do you have another plan in mind?

• 14:52Speaker 05

  Nah, we turn, I, I grabbed Mark's arm. I'm like, okay, now we run and run clumsily towards the door.

• 14:59Speaker 03

  You guys beeline toward this door and you hear commotion behind you, but at this point, you can't really tell if the bait works or if they're just falling behind. You get to this door, you open it and you almost immediately find yourselves on the other side. It's a, it's a house. It feels like the foyer or foyer to a house. But on the back, there's a guy sitting behind the counter and he looks like a security guard. And he's just sitting behind this counter that is in what looks like a nice house's entryway. But behind him, the walls are stone. The back wall, I won't even make you roll. Feels like the entrance to a prison, but set inside of a nice house.

• 15:38Speaker 04

  We're not zombies. We are alive. We're not zombies.

• 15:44Speaker 05

  I, oh wait, no, I'm a zombie. I'm dead.

• 15:47Speaker 04

  He's a zombie. He's dead.

• 15:49Speaker 05

  He's alive. He's not a zombie.

• 15:52Speaker 03

  Charisma checks.

• 15:53Speaker 05

  18, baby. 18, baby. Yeah.

• 15:58Speaker 03

  The guy looks up and he looks at you back and forth as to what you're saying. And his head just keeps going back and forth and it speeds up and speeds up. He disappears.

• 16:08Speaker 05

  What?

• 16:09Speaker 03

  You hear a clanging noise as he disappears, but he's just gone. You hear what sounds like a loud gear. Like, like imagine a grandfather clock, you know, you're like, not the, not the dinging, but like the workings inside of the clock turning. But something going wrong inside. Like, ooh, that's not, that's not a good noise if the gears meshing. You hear that, but kind of echoing around.

• 16:31Speaker 04

  Well, that was weird. I remember hearing a clanging on the ground. I kind of peer my head over the desk he was sitting at and look at maybe what fell down.

• 16:39Speaker 03

  There's a set of keys.

• 16:41Speaker 04

  I gra, I reach for them.

• 16:43Speaker 05

  I tell him to reach for them. I told him to do that.

• 16:45Speaker 03

  He grabs them and has the set of keys.

• 16:48Speaker 04

  I don't know if that was a spell you cast to expunge him from reality, but he, he left his keys jingle, jingle, jingle.

• 16:55Speaker 03

  Uh, there's the metal door inside that looks like those keys would open.

• 16:59Speaker 05

  I look at Mark even crazier than before.

• 17:02Speaker 07

  I think I'm really starting to understand this. I think I know how we can beat him.

• 17:05Speaker 05

  It's a, it's, it's, uh, it's like a computer. We just need to keep opening tabs. The next guy we talk to, I'm gonna try something.

• 17:13Speaker 04

  Just don't try it on me. Just don't try it on me.

• 17:15Speaker 05

  Where do those keys go, man?

• 17:17Speaker 04

  I, I'm not sure. There's a door or a wall.

• 17:21Speaker 03

  Roll me perception checks as you're looking over the keys to see what they go for.

• 17:25Speaker 05

  15.

• 17:26Speaker 04

  What do we got? 11.

• 17:27Speaker 03

  Bob, as you're looking over the keys, you see one of them, it looks like it would fit the metal door here, just initial thoughts. It's like, oh, that looks like it could go there. On the key, you see the word alpha. And then you see 0.1. You can point that out to Mark and Mark now you see as well.

• 17:42Speaker 04

  I see it.

• 17:42Speaker 05

  Look, Mark, Mark, do you see that?

• 17:44Speaker 03

  Ah, numbers. I know numbers. It definitely looks like it'll go to this door.

• 17:48Speaker 04

  Oh, we gotta go through the door.

• 17:50Speaker 05

  Just out of curiosity, gotta go and like take a peek through the door behind us and just like see if that other building is still in there. What's going on?

• 17:57Speaker 03

  You open the door and as you do, yeah, um, you don't see any movement right away, but that hallway is still there. And it looks like the grocery store, it wasn't really a grocery store, but there was a shopping cart and some supplies in there, but the office building is still there.

• 18:12Speaker 05

  Can I tell if like the chips got eaten that we scattered about?

• 18:15Speaker 03

  Not from here. You can't, you'd have to backtrack.

• 18:17Speaker 05

  Well, I close and lock the door and like, no, we gotta go that door. Can't go back. Gotta go east.

• 18:22Speaker 04

  Okay, all right.

• 18:24Speaker 03

  All right. So you go toward the metal door. You put in the key, I'm assuming and open the door.

• 18:27Speaker 05

  I let Mark put the key in. I stand back and I go.

• 18:32Speaker 04

  And I, I stand right at the opening. I'm, I'm like full on where the cracks come through. I turn the key and, and I, my head first, head first into the gap.

• 18:41Speaker 03

  As you go in there, it's not quite jail cells or a prison. It's almost like four big metal cages are set up and there are benches along the walls. And there are people that look completely identical to each other, sitting on these benches, just staring straight ahead. Kind of in your direction as you make your way in. As you go in there, there's, was it in four cages? And then there's a door on the left, a door on the right and a door straight ahead. The door straight ahead has a tiny little slot on the top of it, like you could go and view inside. And they each have, you know, just normal doorknobs and stuff.

• 19:17Speaker 05

  Hey Bob, you got a lot of test subjects to test your spells on. Yeah, no, I got an idea. Uh, do the, they look straight ahead. Do we have any, any idea if they're noticing our existence or if they seem like they're awake or alive or anything?

• 19:31Speaker 03

  They don't appear to. If, if they didn't look so human, you would assume they were just mannequins, the way they're sitting there staring straight ahead. Not blinking, not doing anything.

• 19:41Speaker 05

  All right. I try, walk up to Mark, uh, like I have a theory I want to test, but I think we should go take a look at that, in that slot first. Just to make sure nothing bad's gonna happen and I want to, I want to.

• 19:51Speaker 04

  I'll take a look so you don't get put in any kind of risk. And I stick my eye, I, I first lift the flap, looking right in.

• 19:59Speaker 05

  Like a cartoon, Mark's eye goes through the slot like.

• 20:03Speaker 03

  It's a relatively big, like rectangular slot, so you don't have to really just peek with one eye.

• 20:07Speaker 04

  I put both my eyes right up to it.

• 20:10Speaker 03

  It's a very bright white room and there is a guy in the middle. He's got disheveled brown hair, sitting, uh, crisscross applesauce, just in the middle of the room, facing away from you, so you can't really see his face. There is some movement, you can see he's breathing, unlike the other people sitting out here. He looks like he's still alive or functioning, whatever have it, but he's just kind of sitting there, facing away from you.

• 20:36Speaker 04

  He facing away, so, okay, alright. Before I turn and relay all this to Bob, I shut it, so, you know. Bob, there's a guy in here, looks a little different from the other ones. Maybe use your spells on him first. And then I opened it again to look.

• 20:50Speaker 05

  After I realized it's safe, I rush up to Mark and I like peer over his shoulder. And I look in and once I sort of look for a second, understand what's going on, I go, "Hey, architect, are you the architect? Hey." Just to see what he does.

• 21:05Speaker 03

  He kind of shakes his head for a moment and then peers over his shoulder. And when he sees eyes looking in, he gets up and he makes his way over quickly.

• 21:13Speaker 06

  I don't know what you're saying, but you guys gotta get me out of here. I don't know how long it's been.

• 21:18Speaker 04

  I'm alive, I'm not a zombie, I'm alive.

• 21:21Speaker 05

  I'm a zombie, I'm dead. I'm dead. What does he do?

• 21:27Speaker 03

  He looks sad for a moment and he goes.

• 21:30Speaker 06

  Oh, you're part of it too.

• 21:31Speaker 03

  And then he turns and starts to walk back to the middle of the room.

• 21:34Speaker 05

  I died, I stopped cowering behind Mark and I stand out and we're like, "No, no, listen, wait, no, that's just a test we developed. I was, I was testing the system, we're, we're not part of the system. We're also pretty confused, what's going on here?"

• 21:45Speaker 04

  God talks to me.

• 21:47Speaker 05

  Yeah, God does talk to us, but that's sort of, that doesn't help our case, I don't think. We have the keys from the guard that was like out front, do you, you know which one can opens? Does a key open this or what's going on here?

• 21:59Speaker 03

  He like looks down and if you follow his gaze, you see where the, the door is to this. There's a big latch you can pull, it doesn't require a key, but whenever, if you do pull that, I'm assuming you guys do.

• 22:13Speaker 04

  Well, not yet, not yet, we don't know.

• 22:14Speaker 03

  Okay, well, he looks down, there's a big latch, it looks like you can kind of pull it back.

• 22:18Speaker 04

  Is it this latch?

• 22:19Speaker 06

  As far as I know, yeah, that should let me out. Are you sure you aren't part of it?

• 22:25Speaker 04

  I shut the latch before we answer. I go to Bob. Are we sure we should let him out? Maybe we should quiz him first. We don't know who this is. I don't get the vibe I got from you trustworthy friend, I don't get that from this guy.

• 22:37Speaker 05

  I want to run my exper, I want to try my spell out here before we do anything too crazy.

• 22:41Speaker 06

  Snark, Bob, you guys gotta get me out of here.

• 22:44Speaker 05

  Listen, just hang on, man, we're, we're, there's a lot of like robots or whatever the hell out here, I was gonna try something. I, I go sort of to where I think all of the not people sitting around should be able to see and perceive me. And I sort of like put my arms out wide, like I'm about to do something very dramatic and I just go, "Hey, uh, everybody, units, enter maintenance mode."

• 23:07Speaker 03

  Nothing happens.

• 23:08Speaker 04

  I try another theory where I go up to one of them, whichever looks the most androgynous. I lift its shirts, I lift its shirt into the belly, not up higher, not up higher.

• 23:21Speaker 03

  Oh, okay, well, Sam, you put the shirt down a little bit, I guess you can.

• 23:25Speaker 04

  I poke its belly a little bit, I just like poke to get an idea of the texture of it.

• 23:30Speaker 03

  It feels like skin, maybe a tiny bit rubbery, but it feels like skin, but there's no movement, no response.

• 23:37Speaker 04

  I try to pinch off a piece of it.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  How hard are you trying?

• 23:41Speaker 04

  Well, like half, half at first, half trying, seeing, seeing.

• 23:45Speaker 05

  If it was human flesh, would you get a chunk or would it not?

• 23:48Speaker 03

  It feels like human flesh, so as you try to grab it, I mean, it'll, it'll kind of bunch to some extent, but like, you feel like you're gonna have to rip at this like an animal would to rip human flesh to get a piece off.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  I look up at the face, see if there's any response.

• 24:01Speaker 03

  You guys closed the thing, so no.

• 24:03Speaker 05

  No, and we're in the hallway. He's saying, he's talking about the robot or whatever.

• 24:07Speaker 03

  Oh, the person's, the face of the person you're messing with?

• 24:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 24:11Speaker 03

  There's no response.

• 24:12Speaker 04

  Oh, okay.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  I pull hard. I mean, your nails dig in a little bit, you, you feel you're starting to scratch at this flesh. I mean, you definitely think that with enough force or time, you could rip this, but no matter how much pressure you've put on so far, there's been no response, but you are holding and hurting them.

• 24:29Speaker 04

  Okay, I lean over my shoulder, Bob, like, "Have you seen backrooms?"

• 24:32Speaker 05

  I haven't, actually.

• 24:33Speaker 03

  I haven't either.

• 24:34Speaker 04

  Probably not pertinent in this world, but I was gonna say that you could eat him too and that would be relevant if you saw it, but you didn't, you haven't seen it, so.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  You know what, roll me, roll me a perception check, Mark, as you're doing this.

• 24:44Speaker 04

  Nineteen.

• 24:46Speaker 05

  Oh shit.

• 24:47Speaker 03

  You feel like maybe in the right eye of this person that you're messing with, maybe you see a tear welling slightly. It's very subtle if it's happening.

• 24:58Speaker 04

  I let go. They must not like backrooms.

• 25:00Speaker 05

  I'm still standing in the middle, just sort of looking around expectantly, just saying a string of things like, "Uh, username admin, password 1234, initiate debug mode zero."

• 25:15Speaker 03

  Nothing's happening immediately around you that you can notice, Bob. You guys, you guys are in the room with the four cages, again, there's doors to the left and the right, and then there's the door with the slot. So that door with the slot, you guys did close, so he can't see out right now. You imagine he could still hear, you know, that little slit's probably not soundproof. Nothing in this room seems to be really happening. Everything is kind of frozen, other than what you've interacted with.

• 25:38Speaker 05

  Alright, I give up on that and I look pretty deflated and I go back to the thing.

• 25:43Speaker 05

  Hey dude, what's your name?

• 25:44Speaker 06

  I've been here so long, I actually don't remember my name. Do you have anything for like a headache? My head is really pounding.

• 25:52Speaker 05

  Look back over my shoulder without closing the thing and say too loudly to Mark. That's a bad sign.

• 25:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, we got, we got names.

• 26:00Speaker 06

  I know your names, you guys are a part of this, it's all, it's all fake, it's all fabricated, we're, we're trapped here.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  Oh, we knew that.

• 26:07Speaker 05

  Do these things ever move out here? Not us, the other, the whatevers, people sitting on the benches.

• 26:13Speaker 06

  Sometimes.

• 26:14Speaker 03

  Um, why don't you guys roll, roll the die, I think this will be like perception.

• 26:19Speaker 05

  Three.

• 26:20Speaker 04

  One.

• 26:21Speaker 03

  There's nothing more I can give you there, but he says, "Sometimes."

• 26:24Speaker 04

  Is there some kind of stupid beam or field that makes us make bad decisions in here? Cause this smart guy, I pat him on the shoulder, this smart, smart, yeah, guy here, this big brain, you can see how smart he is, Luke, how smart he is. He was making really bad decisions early on and I think it was some kind of like magic field.

• 26:42Speaker 06

  From what I know, what you do here is just you. It's almost like a sandbox.

• 26:48Speaker 04

  That can't be right.

• 26:49Speaker 05

  As, without consulting Mark or giving it any more thought, I sort of just mutter over my shoulder like, "Well, I guess we don't have a choice," and I reach down and open the thing, the bolt that's locking the door and just go.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  As you pull that open, it does reveal a keyhole, you have a set of keys, you imagine one of them will fit. There's a secondary lock holding this guy in, this was a big metal kind of brace, you pull it back, now there's a keyhole.

• 27:13Speaker 04

  Okay, I try the ring of keys.

• 27:15Speaker 05

  Can Mark tell which key goes in? Do we know?

• 27:17Speaker 03

  With a little bit of messing around, you can find the key pretty easily. Eventually a key fits in there and unlocks, uh, and as you unlatch the door, you can hear the final bolt kind of move into place and you can open the door from this side.

• 27:29Speaker 04

  I stick my face in the gap.

• 27:32Speaker 03

  Uh, he goes to move out and then sees your face appear and kind of regards you.

• 27:36Speaker 06

  You're really not part of this?

• 27:39Speaker 03

  He slowly reaches out to like touch your face.

• 27:42Speaker 05

  Ooh.

• 27:43Speaker 03

  You let him, okay, so he feels around your face, kind of like pinches a little bit, it hurts, he pinches it, it actually hurts a little.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  Hmm, ow.

• 27:50Speaker 05

  You can pinch my face.

• 27:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, you want to pinch his face?

• 27:52Speaker 03

  He holds his hand out.

• 27:54Speaker 06

  The keys?

• 27:55Speaker 05

  Uh, we'll keep the keys, I think we'll keep the keys, but you show us the way out, we'll all leave together.

• 27:59Speaker 04

  Have you seen Ratatouille?

• 28:01Speaker 03

  Uh, roll me another quick check as you say you'll keep the keys.

• 28:04Speaker 05

  Six.

• 28:05Speaker 04

  Ooh, it's right on the edge of a four and a 12.

• 28:08Speaker 05

  That is honestly kind of on the line.

• 28:11Speaker 04

  Uh, how about in the middle, it's an eight, we'll just say it's average between them.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  He looks slightly disappointed as you say you're gonna keep the keys, but he shrugs it off and goes to lead you through the door. When you were first coming in, it was a door on to your right, but now it's from his room, it's on the left. Uh, he goes to open that door. As he goes to open it, it's locked, he looks to you to open it.

• 28:32Speaker 05

  I look at Mark and I go.

• 28:34Speaker 04

  And I go, I look back at him and I go.

• 28:37Speaker 05

  For listeners, I give Mark a knowing look.

• 28:39Speaker 04

  And I'm smiling at Bob.

• 28:42Speaker 05

  I realize Mark's not gonna do it. And I say, open the door.

• 28:45Speaker 04

  Oh, oh, okay. All right. I go over and I filter through the keys and I try them. Oh, oh, sir.

• 28:50Speaker 03

  Okay, you find the key, you unlock the door, you manage to go and step through. As you step through, you see like a police armory. And there's people in here that are gearing up, but they're not moving. They're frozen mid gear up. So there are things around you can grab. There's weapons, there's armor, all kinds of stuff, but ultimately the people you'll kind of have to like either move them out of the way or take things off of them.

• 29:11Speaker 04

  I sprint for the good stuff. I start shoving out of the way like

• 29:15Speaker 03

  Sure, you grab like full riot gear, shotgun. There's an assault rifle, pretty much anything you want in here.

• 29:21Speaker 04

  All the bullets I fit in my bag.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  Uh, as you're doing, as you're grabbing things, he just turns to regard.

• 29:27Speaker 06

  This place isn't real. You don't.

• 29:29Speaker 03

  He goes to like reach for your face again, then thinks better of it and just moves on, walking to another door. The rooms have a slight rounding to them, so it almost feels like as you make your way around, you're going in a bigger circle. The room he was in was also kind of a round room that he was sitting in the center of.

• 29:45Speaker 05

  I grab like a handgun and just like check the chamber and make sure there's a magazine full of bullets in it. And that's all I take, but I sort of like take that casually, just in case.

• 29:55Speaker 04

  I want to look like Nicholas Angel from Hot Fuzz after he gears up with like the guns out here. Shotgun in hand, bullets, bandoliers all over.

• 30:06Speaker 03

  You are super geared up. Uh, he continues to lead you into another room if you unlock it.

• 30:12Speaker 05

  I look at Mark again and I go.

• 30:14Speaker 04

  And I go, yeah, cock the shotgun.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, cock it again.

• 30:20Speaker 05

  My luck turned sour faster this time. I go, open the door.

• 30:23Speaker 04

  Oh, oh, sorry. I dropped the shotgun and I reached for the keys. Sorry, I'll get it next time.

• 30:30Speaker 03

  Okay. So if you imagine a circle, when you first walked in, you were in the bottom of the circle. In the middle, there was a round room that he was in. You guys are making your way kind of around here. So this was the armory. Now you're in the top right quadrant of the circle. This room, it feels like a lobby, almost like the one you came in on, but like a lobby of a different building. There's nobody in here. It's empty. There's a door that doesn't look like it has a way to open off to the side. And then there's a door that the guy that you freed is moving toward that kind of continues to the back of the circle. Like he's going to the top of the circle. He ignores the door off to the right, but there is a door there. You just don't see a handle, nor do you really see anything beyond that. If you try to look through the, the windows on it.

• 31:10Speaker 05

  Does our nameless friend walk up to the door that looks like it will open and wait for the key situation?

• 31:15Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 31:16Speaker 05

  This time I walk very obviously making a point to walk right over to where the key goes and stand and look at it for a second and then slowly look up to Mark to give him that same knowing look like.

• 31:30Speaker 04

  Okay, all right, man. All right. I get it. I, I got it. And then I shuffle over shamefully.

• 31:37Speaker 05

  I kind of casually look down at the keyhole back at Mark until he makes his way over.

• 31:41Speaker 04

  I'm, I'm getting to it. There's a lot of key. All right, I try them one at a time.

• 31:47Speaker 05

  While Mark's doing that, I look over at our nameless friend and I say, are you sure this is the way? Sure. It's not that other door over there. So see what he says, because I can tell the door is probably not going to open, but I'm curious what he says.

• 31:58Speaker 06

  This is the way out. That's the way to nothing.

• 32:01Speaker 04

  I want to see what nothing looks like.

• 32:03Speaker 06

  You don't.

• 32:04Speaker 03

  You open the door and this last room, you see a door across the way, but he does not go toward that door. Instead, you look to the right and the ground slowly kind of just disappears. You know, it's, it's a building, a hallway, but the hallway becomes just darkness. He lets out what seems to be a sigh of relief and starts making his way down that hallway toward the nothingness, the emptiness.

• 32:29Speaker 05

  I regard our nameless friend and I, I don't aim my gun at him, but I sort of heft the pistol. Like I'm concerned, like I might aim it at him if he does anything crazy. I look at him and I say, are you familiar with the Proclaimers?

• 32:42Speaker 06

  The Proclaimers?

• 32:44Speaker 05

  You know that song, I would walk 500 miles, I would walk 500 more. You know that one?

• 32:49Speaker 06

  I'm confused. What does, what does a song have anything?

• 32:51Speaker 05

  Do you know the song or not?

• 32:53Speaker 06

  Sure.

• 32:54Speaker 05

  I want you to show us the way. You go first and you keep singing that song to prove that you're all right while you make that little walk. And I sort of like gesture with the, with the pistol in my hand. And I also sort of look like I've got to like shoo him away like, go, go on. Like I don't aim it at him, you know, but and while, while I, I say that and I look over at Mark and I'm kind of like.

• 33:16Speaker 04

  And I go, oh, okay, I got it. And I go for the keys again, and I try to look for a door. It needs to be unlocked. I'm like, uh, you want to go the other one? Okay, I gotta go over there.

• 33:24Speaker 05

  I forget that I have a pistol in my hand and I just like grab my head and like, no, no, no, no, you stay here, you stay with me. He's gonna go, you stay. I'm like gesticulating wildly with the handgun, all it.

• 33:35Speaker 03

  Roll me D20s. Both of you roll me D20s as this happens. He starts, he, he goes toward the emptiness, singing the song he told him to sing.

• 33:41Speaker 04

  16, 7.

• 33:44Speaker 03

  Mark, he's doing it. So he's listened to Bob's instruction. It's weird, but you know, he's doing it. Bob, he's very happy to do this. Like he's perfectly fine, like uncomfortably fine with his willingness to oblige as he goes this way. And he's almost picking up the pace, putting distance between you as he makes his way this way. Something in your gut tells you something's wrong as he's putting distance between you and making his way down this corridor that he says is the way out.

• 34:13Speaker 04

  I'm just mumbling along to him singing.

• 34:15Speaker 03

  It's stuck in your head. It's a bop.

• 34:17Speaker 05

  Call after it be like, hey, Kay, come back, come back. All right. Show us the way. Come back.

• 34:21Speaker 06

  I told you the way.

• 34:23Speaker 03

  And he starts to run.

• 34:24Speaker 04

  I level my pistol at him and empty the magazine.

• 34:28Speaker 03

  You're gonna fire at him? Okay. Um, roll attack. The dex roll, I think, to use weapons, like a ranged weapon, right?

• 34:34Speaker 05

  Eight.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  You fire and the bullets, he must be a fan of the matrix. The bullets, as they get to where he is, they're on target, but they stop. All of a sudden you hear a bunch of commotion behind you, like the rooms you came from, you hear the gearing up. You hear yelling, you hear someone screaming, you hear an alarm going off. These bullets stop just behind him and he keeps bolting out. He's starting to become hard to see. Uh, he's a few steps away from probably just being gone.

• 35:03Speaker 05

  So, so we could still see him. He's just like disappearing kind of?

• 35:07Speaker 03

  Yes. Yeah. He's very quickly starting to fade out of your sight.

• 35:11Speaker 05

  I look at Mark. For some reason, I still don't talk, assuming that he'll understand what I'm thinking. I sort of look at him and like gesture down the way the guy ran away and I'm kind of like, like try to see if he's ready to go or what, what he's thinking.

• 35:24Speaker 04

  I, I'm like, okay, yeah, now, now, now, yeah, now, now, keys, keys, keys, no keys, gun, gun, gun, gun.

• 35:31Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Gun, gun, gun.

• 35:34Speaker 03

  You guys start making your way down the hallway and.

• 35:36Speaker 05

  I turn and run in the direction the man went.

• 35:39Speaker 03

  Things behind you sound awful. The noises, it sounds like everything you've heard, all like a room behind you. It's, it's like all of the noise is all of a sudden collapsed into being right next to you. Things feel very tight. You feel like you're claustrophobic almost. And the only air is in front of you and that, even that feels like it's starting to dissipate. You're going to have to bolt it.

• 36:04Speaker 05

  I am frenzied, running as fast as I can going, I'm dead. I'm a zombie. I'm dead. I'm a zombie. I reach into my bag and grab the last bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. And I go like, I have an idea. And I rip it behind me like

• 36:23Speaker 05

  as I run as fast as I can.

• 36:26Speaker 03

  Okay, both of you roll me dex checks. You gotta get, you gotta move quick.

• 36:30Speaker 05

  11.

• 36:31Speaker 04

  Free. Oh, no, fuck.

• 36:35Speaker 03

  Um, Mark, I need you to make me, I'm gonna have you make me one more check.

• 36:38Speaker 05

  All right. 11. How's an 11 do?

• 36:42Speaker 03

  God. As you're running, the guy in front of you completely disappears from existence. Behind you, you take a glance over your shoulder, Mark, and you see what looks like people, metal, fire, wood, concrete, you see all kinds of things all meshed together and it's moving toward you at kind of a scary speed. And you hear, again, all of the noises. You think you hear the guy talking about hot dogs. You hear the mobsters trying to beat you up. You hear fire burning, you hear a train, you hear all of these noises coming from this ball behind you as you're running down the hallway. It catches you for a moment and you slow down as you're looking and listening. Bob, you take off. You are just getting the fuck out of here.

• 37:24Speaker 03

  The guy in front of you is completely gone. Mark, you realize what's happening and you go to take off again. And as you feel things in front of you, starting to disappear and your mind getting a little bit hazy. All of this just hits you right in the back, pushing you that last bit out. Uh, you're going to take 21 points of damage.

• 37:43Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 37:43Speaker 03

  So you're down to 22 health.

• 37:45Speaker 04

  But if you think, if you think about it, if you think about it, all those Cool Ranch Doritos would have been the last thing in between me and it. They would have hit me in the back too, right?

• 37:55Speaker 03

  They sure, they sure do. So now you have some crumbs on your back.

• 37:59Speaker 04

  Damn, huh, hoping.

• 38:01Speaker 03

  Things go dark and what feels like a moment later, you open your eyes. You're in a transparent pod, like nothing you've ever quite seen before. It's like a, a nice translucent, translucent blue. You can see through it, but there's a bit of a blueness to it. There are wires and things kind of floating around you, nothing inserted, like no IVs or anything. But there are things that are definitely like floating around you that almost look like they should be attached. You hear, seems like an alarm going off, but it's a noise that's unfamiliar to you and it's, it's an almost, it's a different pitch. It's definitely an alarm, but like, it's just, again, it sounds like an alarm you haven't really heard before. And the pods you're in open up and you're free to get out.

• 38:44Speaker 03

  You're in what's almost like a white leotard. Uh, it's like a tight, skin tight outfit, short sleeve, no backpack, no weapons, no armor, nothing that you had. Mark, you feel like shit. You don't feel great, Bob. You're okay, but Mark, you feel like absolute shit. Your head feels like you just got cracked in the back of it. And there are entities moving around outside of the room that you're in. There's like a window. You see movement and that's not human movement. That's something you've never seen before. Bob, can you roll me? You can both roll, but Bob, this it's gonna be a little bit easier for you.

• 39:20Speaker 05

  Nat 20, baby.

• 39:22Speaker 04

  Woo! Damn.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  Mark, you must be on drugs. The things you're seeing don't make any sense. For just a moment, Bob, you see something run by and that's a familiar shape, but not something you ever actually seen before. You've seen a carving of that. You're remembering things all of a sudden. You remember a little bit of being inside this simulation with Mark, but you guys started running around together after not being together for a while. The Shepherd. That entity running by looks like an etching of the Shepherd. Do you remember whenever Mark came to visit you? And that's what that was. But they're not coming in to attack you. They're they're fleeing. They're running away. Not you two, but there's something else that's here that's escaped that has them scared. And now you guys are gonna have to escape from it too. But not today.

• 40:11Speaker 03

  Yay, that's the end. You guys escaped the simulation.

• 40:15Speaker 04

  All right, man. That Dorito trick did nothing.

• 40:19Speaker 05

  No, I think we were supposed to eat them.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  It was literally health.

• 40:24Speaker 03

  That took a lot longer than I anticipated. I should have known that it wouldn't be super short, but it still took longer than I thought. I had a few more combat setups. So I expected you guys to be a little bit more beat up. So I was gonna have food lying around to help you heal while you were in there.

• 40:36Speaker 04

  That's fair. That's fair.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  But yeah, I I cut a lot out to to get us. So I apologize if it seems a bit rushed. I did cut a lot out to get us through it. But ultimately, you guys were in a simulation as you figured out pretty early on. That was kind of the plan. If you had gone west, you would have gone into like some suburbs and rural area. But then immediately you'd find yourselves entering the outskirts of the same city again. There was no real escape from the city. And the only way out was to make your way deeper and deeper in. The first ring of the city was just normal day to day bullshit with people being a little bit off. And then as you get in there, you know, crime filtering that you guys got to. And then there was gonna be a lot more going on with the zombie area. I had a lot more planned for in that and things other than zombies. But again, just for time constraint, I kind of trimmed that down way, way much. And then at the end, you guys had different options.

• 41:21Speaker 03

  So the guy inside the cell, you could have tried to fight him and kill him. You could have left him there. You could have helped them escape. You could have just talked to him. Like there were different things you could have done to interact with him. So that could have gone a lot of different ways. Ultimately, you opened the doors and let him lead you all the way out, which, you know, the ramifications of that, maybe we'll get to one day, but.

• 41:37Speaker 04

  Eh, whatever. What's the worst that could happen?

• 41:39Speaker 00

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• 42:03Speaker 01

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• 42:10Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's probably fine. I'm sure we'll see him again.

• 42:12Speaker 03

  The implication, I'm sure you two pieced it together, but just to make it perfectly clear, is that the events of the choose your own adventure episode, the Shepherd, you two are the same people from that, Mark and Bob. And instead of a choose your own adventure, I left a lot more open this time to give you a lot more freedom in the world. So I tried to guide you a little bit, but I tried to leave it very open for you guys to have a lot more interaction, rather than me just telling you do this or do that. But they, the the creature, the entity, the alien entity from the Shepherd, they have you two and they put you in a simulation that you guys have ultimately broken out of.

• 42:41Speaker 05

  That was cool.

• 42:42Speaker 03

  Hopefully it was fun. Sorry it took so long.

• 42:44Speaker 05

  It was fun. I would do that for a couple more hours.

• 42:47Speaker 03

  I went really light. So there wasn't like flat out perception rolls and stuff, or I just gave you basic stats. Just have a little bit of a dice to roll, because I didn't want to go super long into, well, is this sleight of hand or is it just like, no, I just, I'll just roll. We'll roll opposed checks rather than having an AC and stuff. So I thought that would be a little bit better. Let me know, you know, everyone out there watching, listening and how you guys enjoyed it. Hopefully the descriptions were good enough and things, but.

• 43:06Speaker 05

  That's the kind of tabletop rules I like. Barely any.

• 43:10Speaker 03

  Yeah, I'm still trying to refine it. So, you know, a bit more guidance, maybe a bit more stuff, but trying to make it for an hour long episodes.

• 43:16Speaker 05

  I'm curious what the feedback will be because people love the Shepherd episode. People like this. I don't think anyone would be mad if we did episodes like this where it became multi-part things and we got to do more of like a fleshed out.

• 43:28Speaker 03

  Yeah, this time there were no, I mean, you guys figured out you were in simulation pretty quick. And that was the idea. I kind of wanted you to know that so you knew you had to work within the rules to get out of it. But there weren't really like the clues lying around like there were in the Shepherd to figure out it was them. I wanted that to be the end surprise was.

• 43:41Speaker 05

  I did not even consider that that would be tied back in. I was just like, okay, we escape and we win.

• 43:47Speaker 03

  So when you guys are like, yeah, I'm Bob and Mark, I was like, perfect. Mark and Bob, perfect. Good enough for me. But thank you guys for watching. As far as points go, I definitely did a great job of keeping up with that the entire time. So how many 20s did you each roll? Bob, you rolled one there at the end. Mark, did you roll two 20s before that or was it more than that?

• 44:05Speaker 04

  I rolled three 20s, I believe.

• 44:08Speaker 05

  I think I rolled three. I know I rolled the one at the end there and I know I rolled at least one other one, but I think I feel like I rolled one that was awesome and then one that just didn't fucking matter at all. I so, so I was thinking I had three 20s, but I'm not 100% sure if that's right.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  Who physically opened the door to let the guy out? Was that Mark that physically opened the door?

• 44:27Speaker 04

  No, he opened the door and I stuck my face in there.

• 44:29Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, I I opened the sliding thing, but then you had the keys and you kind of keyed it. But then I was kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of a tag team situation, but I was sort of the one in the door opening position, I guess.

• 44:40Speaker 03

  All right, so going through here. Before you do that, I'm just gonna preemptively try to make sure Bob wasn't trying to do the bounty board where he calls the other hosts out by the wrong names the whole time.

• 44:50Speaker 05

  Nope, but I did do a bounty.

• 44:52Speaker 04

  Ah, shit.

• 44:53Speaker 05

  I built a Lego kit during this episode. I built a Lego city riot, ri- rides thing I built. This was unopened until we started recording. And while we were sitting here, I built this little Jeep. There's a little fellow in there. I built the whole Lego kit during the episode.

• 45:15Speaker 03

  Thank God you picked the episode where I made it two hours long to do it. So that's pretty good.

• 45:19Speaker 05

  Yeah, well, I finished it in like the first 20 minutes and was like, all right, I'll cash that in soon. And any minute now that's gonna end and.

• 45:27Speaker 03

  How many points is that worth? Like two, one or two? We usually do, it's like, what, one to three points for bounties? We've only done a few of them.

• 45:34Speaker 05

  It had 22 upvotes. It doesn't have a specificity of the points. I mean, that's a pretty basic one. This was not, this was not a special kit. This is just a random picked it up at like Target kind of thing. And it was maybe, it was, it was like eight bucks. It was maybe 60 to 80 pieces. Like there's a bunch of little pieces in here, but it's not complicated.

• 45:55Speaker 03

  I would say it's one to two points. Mark, what do you think? One or two?

• 45:58Speaker 04

  Oh, it's up to you. I have no idea.

• 46:00Speaker 03

  And Bob, roll a D20. If you're all higher than 10, if you're 11 or higher, it's two points.

• 46:03Speaker 05

  Don't worry, Mark. I'm gonna roll my shitty one.

• 46:05Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 46:07Speaker 05

  15.

• 46:08Speaker 03

  Okay, two points. There you go.

• 46:09Speaker 04

  Yeah, cuz I was looking at the bounty board after you, I realized he's calling me Skirm or whatever it was.

• 46:15Speaker 03

  I don't even know if he said my name. So yeah, like he could have claimed that one too, probably. Viewers, listeners, let us know. Did he say our names normally or should he get another point for the bounty for that? Going through points then, since Bob, you got the bounty. Mark, you got points because we were mean to you. You called dibs on the phone. Your early 18 perception success and your elbow drop got you points. You rolled three nat 20s that we remember right now. And you continued the Doritos bit there at the end, which I found very funny. For a total of eight points. Bob, you got points for singing as you showed off your phone. Fair and reward? I can't even tell what I wrote here. I think it says fair and reward. I don't know what that means. You got dodge point. You got a finisher point for finishing off one of the bad guys.

• 46:59Speaker 05

  Hell, yeah.

• 47:00Speaker 03

  I have two D20 points for you that we remembered for sure. You're saying you think there's a third D20?

• 47:05Speaker 05

  I think that, I think that two is fair. I think there might have been a third, but I can't specifically recall what it was for, so.

• 47:11Speaker 03

  I felt like Mark was succeeding a lot more than you overall. So I gave Mark the three D20s.

• 47:15Speaker 05

  Mark generally had way better rolls than I, I turned it around in the back half, but Mark was killing it there.

• 47:21Speaker 03

  You got a point for bossing Mark around and having him use the keys all the time. Mark, use the keys. Mark, use the keys. You were the original Dorito spreader, so you got Dorito point. You let the guy out. I gave you a point for that. And you got the two points for the Lego bounty, giving you a total of 11 points. So right now it's 11 Bob, eight Mark.

• 47:38Speaker 04

  Damn.

• 47:39Speaker 05

  Thank God I did that bounty.

• 47:41Speaker 03

  Pretty good spread. So now I guess we see. What about my drawing? You didn't give me a point for the drawing. You know what? You know what, Mark? I'll give you a point for your drawing.

• 47:48Speaker 05

  That's pretty fair. I did like the drawing.

• 47:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, I did.

• 47:52Speaker 05

  The how many bonus points wheel? Tell us the answer. I bet it's three.

• 47:56Speaker 03

  Give me one.

• 47:58Speaker 04

  It is one.

• 47:59Speaker 05

  It is one. Okay, never mind.

• 48:02Speaker 03

  I don't know if this is on the wheel, but I want to add luck was not on my side. The luck, the least lucky point.

• 48:07Speaker 05

  Nope, that's not the one. We're not doing that one. No.

• 48:10Speaker 04

  We're skipping right to one man show.

• 48:12Speaker 03

  My whole screen, every screen just died. Can you hear me?

• 48:15Speaker 05

  We can. Can you hear us?

• 48:17Speaker 03

  I think that red time disease just.

• 48:21Speaker 05

  Oh, no.

• 48:22Speaker 03

  Who are we gonna get through this quick? Spin the wheel, spin the wheel.

• 48:25Speaker 05

  All right, one spin for all the beans.

• 48:31Speaker 05

  If the coin has not been slipped, slip it applied to the last contentious thing.

• 48:35Speaker 03

  Is the last contentious thing whether Mark gets a point for the drawing?

• 48:38Speaker 04

  This is in my drawing.

• 48:40Speaker 03

  I think so, right? That was the last thing we debated. Okay, heads, Mark gets another point for that. Tails, we take away his drawing point?

• 48:49Speaker 05

  Yeah, I suppose. Oh, I got heads.

• 48:51Speaker 04

  I got heads.

• 48:52Speaker 05

  Whoa!

• 48:53Speaker 03

  I get two points. You get two points for the, I mean, that still just gets you to 10.

• 48:58Speaker 04

  That would have been really cool if that did anything.

• 49:00Speaker 05

  And I used all of my accoutrement today. Use the coin, use the dice I keep around. All my little biddies.

• 49:07Speaker 03

  Man, Mark, you, you did some heavy lifting today, but ultimately Bob did a bounty. The bounty really, you would have won if Bob didn't do the bounty. So do you want to give us a loser's speech that, you know, the bounty really took it from you?

• 49:19Speaker 04

  I mean, I think right now, all I see on your screen Wade is a white, bright white light. So I'm going to do this as I did in the thing and I'm going to talk to God. God, why have you done this to me? I was your strongest soldier and yes, I fought your toughest battles, but I won. I slayed at those battles and I think that I deserved better than this. Uh, I will send Wade after you like he hunted you down before.

• 49:44Speaker 03

  I will fire guns into the sky at you.

• 49:47Speaker 04

  Uh, so think harder next time when I'm praying to you, you better pick up the prayer phone.

• 49:53Speaker 03

  I love prayer thread.

• 49:55Speaker 04

  Alright, okay, alright, alright.

• 49:57Speaker 03

  Talk soon. Uh, Bob winner's speech.

• 50:00Speaker 05

  Uh, you look normal to me, so I'll just do a normal. Dear Wade, you made the right choice today. I know you always favor me and I appreciate that. And I know this is generally an unspoken deal, but I feel so confident in my good graces that I've earned with you completely factually and not at all just in my head. Then I'll, I'll, I'll say the quiet part out loud. I don't think I'm ever going to lose another Wade episode the rest of the time the show exists. I think I've got it locked in. I think we know, we know where we each other stand and I really appreciate your, uh, your honesty and your unfairness. And we did flip the coin already, so I can say that without triggering any chaos in the, in the post credits here. So, thank you. Good job. Go team Bob Wade.

• 50:45Speaker 03

  Yay, we did it. Well done on the bounty. I don't think Mark nor I suspected anything that whole time, so well done. Yeah, that was fun. I, that was fun for me. I've not really ever DM'd other than the choose your own and then this, these are my first two ever attempts at it in life. So. Anyway, point being, I'm glad you guys seemingly had fun with it. Hopefully they went out there, enjoyed it. I also think that's the first time we've ever gotten that coin flip.

• 51:05Speaker 05

  The, the wheel spin? Yeah, I did not know that was on there. I went, I think we've gotten that.

• 51:09Speaker 03

  I think that's the first time. We just happened to not use the coins. That was kind of cool that we got to use it. So. Anyway, uh, thank you, boys. Uh, if you guys haven't already, check out the scary tapes. I think the last one of those just came out. So if you haven't listened to those, um, there are different trigger warnings and stuff, you know, because they do go over certain topics and things, but, um, I had a great time reading them. I know we put a lot of pressure on Mark to do a lot of the heavy liftings. He's got the best voice of all of us, but Bob and I had fun doing voices for other characters and they were really well written stories. I had a good time. Hopefully those of you that listened in or watched enjoyed. So check out the scary tapes if you haven't already. Hopefully we do more stuff like that in the future because I had a good time with that. Merch, we have distractible.shop. Check out, there's probably stuff. If not, there'll be stuff soon. Check out Mark at Mark, Bob at Mysker, me at Minion777, LordMinion777.

• 51:52Speaker 03

  Stay tuned for the next one where Bob will hostess one because he did the bounty and he won. Until then, podcast out.

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