Best of P*ssed Off: Part 1 (Compilation)

You better hope the Distractible Vault is fireproof, because there's a whole lot of fiery fury building up in this compilation! Check out shopify.com/distractible today Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:01Speaker 00

  Born from the intensity of a night in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex Womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 1:00Speaker 02

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• 1:30Speaker 03

  From being peeved to incandescent. Ha ha ha ha ha. It's time for Best of Pissed Off, Part One.

• 1:42Speaker 04

  I can't think of anything that relates to like sunscreen lotion and tissues. No, it's right there. It's right there.

• 1:48Speaker 05

  Uh, if I had a one word clue, it would probably be seasonal.

• 1:52Speaker 04

  I feel like this is a thing I've just either have never heard of or don't use. That's where I'm at right now.

• 1:57Speaker 05

  I'd be shocked.

• 1:58Speaker 06

  You've, yeah, you've heard of this.

• 1:59Speaker 05

  You've heard of it. You've probably seen it used more recently than you think.

• 2:02Speaker 04

  Chapstick?

• 2:04Speaker 05

  It is. And I put some on while you were doing this.

• 2:06Speaker 04

  How the actual fuck is chapstick related to lotion or sunscreen? Those are liquids.

• 2:13Speaker 06

  Well, I could see, I could see it being related to that.

• 2:16Speaker 04

  Also, how is that not a container full of chapstick? You completely got me off of anything that was like lotion or deodorant or chapstick. When you said it wasn't a plastic container filled with something.

• 2:29Speaker 06

  Did he ask that question?

• 2:30Speaker 04

  Yes. I asked if it was a container and his answer was, oh, not really. I don't think of it like that.

• 2:36Speaker 05

  No, the primary part of it is not a container. The primary part of chapstick is the chapstick.

• 2:41Speaker 04

  It is a container filled with a material.

• 2:44Speaker 05

  We've all, I don't know. I went through it. Mark and I went through it. We did the best we could with that, man.

• 2:48Speaker 06

  I, I didn't hear that question. I, I didn't hear that one.

• 2:51Speaker 04

  Also, I get you on the wet one, but I'm gonna go ahead and say the bodily oblation one was also a bad answer. You use that at any point in time, primarily in public, because usually it's when you're outside. You don't use that during a bodily oblation.

• 3:06Speaker 05

  That depends. I use it when my lips are chapped. I don't use it as a preventative. I use it after my lips are chapped.

• 3:11Speaker 04

  You don't keep it. Also, I was gonna say, you probably don't keep it in the bathroom. Probably don't even specifically keep it in the kitchen as much as you keep it.

• 3:18Speaker 06

  That's why I was saying that one was.

• 3:19Speaker 04

  You keep it wherever you keep your keys, which is for a lot of people, the entryway or the mudroom.

• 3:25Speaker 05

  I keep chapstick in our medicine cabinets. So like our medicine cabinet in the bathroom, I've got chapstick in the kitchen. We've got chapstick.

• 3:31Speaker 06

  Well, that's why I called that one out specifically. That's why I said.

• 3:34Speaker 04

  I feel like the container one totally shut off the realm of a bottle of lotion.

• 3:39Speaker 05

  That's a, it was a tough question. Like you could see it was a tough question to answer.

• 3:42Speaker 04

  It's not. No, I don't actually. If you ask me if chapstick is a container, I would say yes. It's, it has a container because it has a lid.

• 3:52Speaker 05

  I think my answer was it's not primarily a container because the primary part of chapstick is the stuff you use.

• 3:56Speaker 04

  No, you said that about something else. Specifically, I wrote down that you said, I, no, kind of. I don't think of it as a container.

• 4:04Speaker 05

  I don't. I mean, it is a.

• 4:05Speaker 04

  It is specifically a plastic tube containing the chapstick.

• 4:10Speaker 05

  It kinda is. Yeah, I get that. I get that.

• 4:12Speaker 04

  Or a thing of lip balm in a little container, which by the way, could be made of metal, but that one's not that strong of an argument.

• 4:18Speaker 05

  Okay. You know, I wasn't thinking of the little handheld lip balm.

• 4:20Speaker 04

  That was a fair item, but I do feel like a couple of those questions really fucked me.

• 4:25Speaker 05

  Pets. Honestly, don't get me started on pets. Pets are a bigger responsibility than anyone would have you know. Pets, they're cute, they're cuddly, they're fun. Sure. But nobody wants to talk about what pets actually need. Money for vet bills, leaky anal glands. You gotta take them to the vet once every month or two and have someone stick their fingers up their ass to release their anal glands. Cause apparently that's a fucking thing they don't teach them. They're, oh, I wanna get you a puppy. No, you fucking don't. You're gonna gel up your fingers and shove it up Fido's ass? Well, someone has to because anal glands get clogged. It's disgusting. Oh, and then they get older. We outlive our pets. That's really sad. It sucks losing pets. Been there, done that. They don't train you for that shit either. But when they get old, it's not all cute, cuddly, fun games. No.

• 5:08Speaker 05

  I'm learning that cats stop using the litter box and they shit on the floor and they drag their ass. They go outside, they eat grass, they come inside and guess what? Oh, grass. That doesn't feel so good. Oh, I vomited. That makes me need to shit too for some reason. Let me just leave all of that right by the couch where you sit. So your feet could either be in the nice nasty icky or on the lovely cleaning solution you put down. Just got a new rug. Oh boy, not more yet. I better go mark that. Hike, piss, bleh. All over the goddamn place. Oh, I don't wanna eat the food you got today, father. Oh, this canned food? It isn't what I happen to want. I don't want those treats today. I want what you want. All that steak that you've been cooking looks great.

• 5:53Speaker 05

  You had to look away to crack open a drink? Oh, fucking mind. Get your own food now, dad. Okay, guess I'll just fucking starve. What good do you give me? Some cuddles, some cute moments, but all of the shit. Don't get me started.

• 6:08Speaker 06

  God, you really went there, man.

• 6:09Speaker 04

  I hope your pets don't listen to this podcast.

• 6:12Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna make.

• 6:15Speaker 04

  This is what you play for them when you leave the house. Put them in their cage and play this episode on full volume.

• 6:21Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, take out the blankets, just cold hard crate with a TV monitor and this.

• 6:26Speaker 06

  I hate the number nine.

• 6:29Speaker 05

  Cause seven ate it?

• 6:31Speaker 06

  Cause he's a bitch and he let himself get eaten. Yeah, he lost the buy. I put a lot of money on that fight. I got eaten right in front of me, man. Anyway, no, I hate nine specifically. And it's, it has to do with a lot of shopping and this is another psychology thing. But it's, this isn't even about like you, you price something 399 and it's like, it's technically 400, but people go, oh, 399. You're psychologically, I get the, I get that that works. No, this is about gas stations. Cause gas stations do it worse than anybody ever has. And if we all stop to actually think about it for a second to realize how dumb it is. Because not only they'll do the trick where it's like, oh, it's, it's 349 a gallon, you know? And it's like, oh, it's 350. But no, there's more numbers onto the right of that number.

• 7:15Speaker 06

  And there's either a nine or there's a nine over 10. And it's just, it infuriates me. It infuriates me that that exists. And it's, if you Google gas station signs, at least in America, they're on every single fucking sign. It's every single fucking sign is like, duh, duh, duh, duh. And nine over 10 or duh, duh, duh, duh, nine in superscript. And it's like, ba, ba, ba, ba, nine. Because they, it, it, it's just because some marketing or finance guy or someone in some marketing department, however many years ago was like, oh, if we add this nine at the end, we'll make this much more money over the course of forever. And no one will know the difference. And I don't even care about that because at the end of the day, I know people are stupid about gas and they'll go to the gas station across the street.

• 7:59Speaker 06

  That's five cents cheaper to save a whopping, you know, dollar on their entire purchase and wait in line for 10 minutes. Then go to the one across the street that's five cent more expensive or whatever. Or they'll drive across town and waste the gas that they would have saved and whatever. That's not what I'm talking about. It's the fact that we let them get away with this stupid nine, this dumb ass nine at the end of these numbers that I, that just, it's just so, I wanna just. Punch every single one of those stupid nine out of 10 signs. Cause it doesn't make a difference in the grand scheme of things and it just looks stupid. It's aesthetically unpleasing. It just is infuriating in every capacity. Cause it's, it's not even, at this point, it's not even like a good psychological trick. It's like one fraction of a penny. It's nine tenths of a penny.

• 8:44Speaker 06

  I don't care about that. I round up anyway. Like if it's 249 and nine, I go, oh, it's 250. It's the fact that it's there.

• 8:50Speaker 05

  Nine out of 10 people agree it's dumb.

• 8:52Speaker 04

  We, we should start a gas station chain on the premise that there will be no fractions. And in fact, that there will be no nines in the, in the, the one cent place ever.

• 9:05Speaker 05

  So I need you to do a super fast retelling of Bob's fridge, but without using any verbs.

• 9:12Speaker 04

  Oh, hey, we're here to, oh, hang on. Uh huh. Right now? Oh, never mind. I'll, got it. Yeah.

• 9:24Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 9:28Speaker 04

  Fridge, two guys, front door, me, the.

• 9:37Speaker 04

  The one guy. Oh no. Oh, thank you. Oh, there you go. Side yard. You guys, fridge. Yeah, perfect. And then the bush.

• 9:52Speaker 04

  Me, me, inside.

• 9:56Speaker 04

  The bush, the bush, the fridge, the bush.

• 10:07Speaker 04

  What's that? Oh no. Oh, did water shut off?

• 10:13Speaker 04

  That's a noun.

• 10:14Speaker 05

  You're right. You're right. You're right. Okay. I got it. Okay. You're good.

• 10:17Speaker 04

  A new house? I don't know. It should be water shut off. Make this here.

• 10:27Speaker 04

  Sorry, bush.

• 10:33Speaker 04

  Did I, that part? Yeah. Anyway. I don't think that's how you do fridge, house. Right?

• 10:42Speaker 06

  Thinks of her, isn't it? I think.

• 10:45Speaker 04

  Not when I do it.

• 10:51Speaker 04

  Anger.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  Unacceptable.

• 11:03Speaker 04

  Two guys.

• 11:08Speaker 04

  Fridge.

• 11:08Speaker 06

  That was beautiful. Oh, man.

• 11:11Speaker 04

  I don't remember what, not that much actually happened. I was just so mad. I kept talking about it.

• 11:16Speaker 06

  Uh, revere.

• 11:24Speaker 04

  It doesn't have to be fast, man.

• 11:27Speaker 06

  Famous historian Hu Hu Revere. All right, one more time. Revere Hu. It changes every time. That doesn't help me, man. Revere Huwa. Revere or Huwa? You can change it. Revere Huwa. It's East Coast.

• 11:43Speaker 06

  It depends which, uh, which accent you prefer.

• 11:46Speaker 04

  What do you mean it depends? That was completely different pronunciations.

• 11:49Speaker 06

  All right, get, pick one. Revere Huwa. Revere Huwa. Not Huwa, Huwa. Okay, one more time. Revere Huwa or Huwa? Huwa, Huwa. That was two different things. He just said two different things right there. Revere Huwa. Revere Huwa. Oh, okay. Revere Huwa. Oh, Huwa, Revere. That wasn't a fucking word. What are you talking about?

• 12:15Speaker 04

  If you didn't say it like a ghost.

• 12:18Speaker 06

  When you're the one in the chair, it does not sound like it.

• 12:27Speaker 06

  Revere. Oh, Huwa Rev. Okay, I'm saying Huwa. Huwa. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Huwa, Huwa. So you should say the opposite of Huwa. Huwa, Huwa. I am. Okay. What do you mean that is? You go Huwa and Huwa. You're doing great. You're doing great.

• 12:48Speaker 04

  Oh my god.

• 12:49Speaker 06

  Revere.

• 12:50Speaker 07

  Oh, whoa, whoa, that's, that's, that's, play it in reverse. Editors, I'm saying the same thing. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's the same word.

• 13:02Speaker 07

  Revere, Revere, Revere. It's, it's, it's two palindromes inside the same word. It's River, Revere, River, River? River. Oh, River. Oh, River. Oh, River. That's not a word. I know many words. This is not a word. Oh, River. He's still like Johnny.

• 13:23Speaker 07

  Oh, River. Oh, River.

• 13:27Speaker 04

  Say the first part faster.

• 13:28Speaker 07

  Oh, boy.

• 13:29Speaker 04

  But all in one, all in one go. Just say the first part faster.

• 13:32Speaker 07

  Oh, River. Oh, River. Oh, River. Oh, River. Oh, River. Oh, River. Oh, River. Lose the first ah. Why? War River? War River.

• 13:46Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 13:47Speaker 07

  War. Wherever?

• 13:49Speaker 04

  It's wherever.

• 13:50Speaker 07

  Is that it? How would that oh? How, whoa, whoa, whoa? Huh, there's no ah, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh. Why didn't you go ho?

• 14:02Speaker 00

  Born from the intensity of a night in the Eternal City. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin, and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver, and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's dot com.

• 14:31Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 15:01Speaker 04

  This episode is brought to you by Shopify. Look, it happens. Set out the new year. You're ready to change your world. You're ready to change yourself. You're gonna do better so you don't just drop back into your same old habits. And suddenly it's February and you're still doing all the same stuff. But this year, I have a goal. This year, I'm going to walk 365 miles in 2026, in this year. And the key to accomplishing a New Year's resolution is to keep it simple and manageable. And that's why Shopify is so successful. And that's why you should be using Shopify for your business. The key to success with Shopify is the same. Keep it simple and manageable. Shopify is everything you need. Templates to help design

• 15:44Speaker 04

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• 16:05Speaker 04

  So we're gonna go through this list and we're gonna make a counting of everyone. So Wade, you mentioned Shakira.

• 16:12Speaker 06

  I did mention Shaq era.

• 16:14Speaker 04

  God, I love Shaq's music. Bob, you got Scarlett Joe.

• 16:18Speaker 06

  I believe he went the one with two Ts, but could be wrong.

• 16:21Speaker 04

  Wade, you mentioned Mama Plyer, which, you know, she has a real name, but it's okay. Bob, Dr. Jill Biden. Bob with an Ivanka. Wade with a Melania.

• 16:31Speaker 06

  Yeah, can I add Melania too? I want to get the Trump's wife.

• 16:34Speaker 04

  Hold on. I have to count. There has to be a winner. Oh, making Mark type these was the best part of this whole idea so far. Did I spell Cher right?

• 16:46Speaker 04

  I know it's a C. I know there's a C.

• 16:49Speaker 06

  Oh, okay. Yeah, the C is at the end. It's a silent C.

• 16:52Speaker 04

  Michael Obama.

• 16:55Speaker 04

  No, I know. You were trying to type Oprah. Got it. Meghan, the Stan Leon.

• 17:02Speaker 06

  Caitlyn Clark.

• 17:04Speaker 04

  Calk, Calerk, Calerk. Hold on, you guys are spoiling all the jokes. I'm going through it. Just shut up.

• 17:12Speaker 06

  Kim Kardashian.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  Bob, funerals.

• 17:23Speaker 04

  Oh, let me just stretch the anger out a little bit.

• 17:27Speaker 04

  Don't even get me started on funerals. Did I not give you enough while you were alive? Did you not take enough of my precious time while you could reciprocate anything? Let's not even get into whether you did or did not ever say thank you for the countless hours of my life I gave to you, Grandma, coming to visit, spending the holidays with you, eating the food you made for me to make me eat. It's awful. Don't get me started on funerals. Like, those people need any more attention. Only the most narcissistic, selfish, unbelievably self-centered people would possibly think

• 18:12Speaker 04

  that what they need after they have left their family mourning and just torn apart is a party for them. That's who's important at that moment in time. That's what everyone wants. And, pfft, open casket funerals? Please. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna die, and then I want you to dress me up real nice, and I want you to do my makeup, and I want you to pretend, stuff my cheeks with cotton balls, pretend like they're not all sunken in, and then come look at me and talk to me like I'm there. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair to everyone. I need that. In the afterlife, I'll really enjoy, and I'll drink it up like a delicious salve on

• 18:57Speaker 04

  my soul. That's fair. That's good. Miss you, Grandma.

• 19:03Speaker 05

  Oh, man.

• 19:04Speaker 06

  Is it a spork?

• 19:07Speaker 04

  He jumped right past a couple other guesses for that one, but no, it's not specifically a spork, no.

• 19:13Speaker 06

  Spoon, plastic spoon.

• 19:15Speaker 04

  No.

• 19:16Speaker 06

  Plastic fork.

• 19:17Speaker 04

  It's a plastic fork.

• 19:19Speaker 06

  I hate you.

• 19:23Speaker 06

  I hate you because why? Why would I think specifically a plastic fork? When you said it was not metal, all cutlery went out the window because cutlery-

• 19:39Speaker 04

  It's just made of plastic.

• 19:40Speaker 06

  It's made of metal!

• 19:42Speaker 05

  Hey, dude, I had to rule out wood basketball.

• 19:44Speaker 06

  What do you mean, Bob? What do you- Mean, why would the thing be a plastic fork? Why would that be the thing? You made the hardest possible thing to narrow down because you put it in a category that it's not typically in.

• 20:01Speaker 04

  What? You never guessed fork?

• 20:03Speaker 06

  Because you said it wasn't metal!

• 20:05Speaker 05

  My 12th guess was cutlery for myself. Mark never went there, that's crazy. He stole everything else I said, but not that. Again, again, that's the next one.

• 20:20Speaker 06

  Why would you do that to me? You know, I thought, I thought spork a long time ago. A long time ago, I was like, okay, there's a possibility that it's like plastic, something like, and spork went up in my mind when you was like, plate was associated with, but I was like, there's no way it'd be that. Man, plastic fork, a plastic fork?

• 20:43Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 20:44Speaker 05

  Hey, my basketball was very specific too.

• 20:52Speaker 06

  Why have you done this to me? Why have you done this to me?

• 20:55Speaker 04

  Are you appealing to like the subreddit or something? Do you think this is unfair, Mark?

• 20:59Speaker 06

  I am appealing to the subreddit, yes. I'm throwing my only flag I have left because holy crap, that is the least fair thing. What are you doing?

• 21:10Speaker 04

  How many times a week do you think you use a plastic fork, Mark?

• 21:13Speaker 06

  Barely.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  I don't believe that.

• 21:15Speaker 06

  That's absolutely true.

• 21:17Speaker 04

  You're currently living in another city.

• 21:19Speaker 06

  I had an Airbnb where they have silverware.

• 21:22Speaker 04

  And you don't order food? And you don't order food when you're working all day?

• 21:26Speaker 06

  And I always prefer to eat it with the silverware that's there because it's a better utensil to do.

• 21:31Speaker 05

  It's alright, I use enough plastic forks to make up for it.

• 21:34Speaker 06

  And also, in this thing, a plastic fork isn't even rigid.

• 21:40Speaker 04

  Yes, it is.

• 21:41Speaker 06

  No, it's not, it's, it's a flimsy piece of plastic.

• 21:44Speaker 05

  Dude, you get a plastic fork from like cheesecake factory, those things are like.

• 21:49Speaker 04

  I could stab your eye out with the right plastic fork.

• 21:51Speaker 06

  I want to take a nap and I will.

• 21:55Speaker 04

  In your tub with your pillow blanket. I see how it is.

• 21:59Speaker 06

  Plastic fork, plastic fork. This is gonna haunt him for, for days to come. I, I literally like halfway through.

• 22:09Speaker 04

  Well, you didn't even guess spork. I would have probably given you a hint.

• 22:12Speaker 06

  Oh, no, no, it couldn't be that. That'd be ridiculous.

• 22:15Speaker 04

  Why couldn't it be that?

• 22:18Speaker 04

  I want to do another food one because I'm curious about this.

• 22:20Speaker 06

  I hope you bring up cereal. I hope to God you bring up cereal.

• 22:25Speaker 04

  Oh, that one's quick and easy. Okay.

• 22:27Speaker 06

  How can you screw this up?

• 22:28Speaker 04

  There's only one answer with cereal. Let's do that real quick. Cereal.

• 22:32Speaker 06

  Oh, here we go.

• 22:34Speaker 04

  What or bowl of cereal? What order?

• 22:37Speaker 06

  Ooh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna roll up the sleeves. You put your bowl down, you pour milk in it, then you pour your cereal. I'll die on this hill and there's so many reasons. All you sheeple out there that think it's a good, you pour your, pour your cereal first and your milk. No, you pour your milk first. So you have a fixed quantity of milk. The elements that you're fighting is time till soggy-ness. If you have your milk first, you get the quantity of milk that you want. And then you pour cereal a little bit at a time. So it never becomes soggy. And then you will have a perfect ratio of cereal to milk at the end of it. Because you will pour exactly as much cereal as that milk requires in the duration that it needs to be poured.

• 23:21Speaker 04

  So the, the just soggy-ness thing is always the argument and like, that's correct to me. But I've never understood, you know how, how I do it is you pour the cereal first and you pour a small amount of milk. And then you eat down the side.

• 23:38Speaker 06

  Oh.

• 23:38Speaker 04

  So that you're eating the part that's in the milk as it's getting milk saturated before it gets soggy. There's not enough milk, like for me, like less than a quarter of the bowl is ever touching milk at any given moment. Why, why, if you pour it milk first and your cereal floats, you get like five Cheerios before it's floating over the edge of the giant bowl. Of milk that you just poured.

• 24:00Speaker 06

  How much do you fill it with milk?

• 24:03Speaker 04

  I don't know. I assume if you pour milk first, you pour a lot because you're a fucking weirdo.

• 24:07Speaker 06

  Like a third of it in there. You don't want a lot of milk, but you're just you. The way you're describing it, you're a milk firster in denial. You're a milk firster.

• 24:16Speaker 04

  I would just rather have my cereal maxed out and then the left milk to make it very delicious to eat.

• 24:23Speaker 05

  I don't have time to pour cereal 30 times for one meal. I fill that bowl like three quarters with cereal. I pour like half full of milk and then it's like a hot dog eating competition, man. I'm, I'm a ravenous. I'm a fast eater and I am pouring through that thing.

• 24:39Speaker 06

  You don't need to do that if you just pour your milk first.

• 24:43Speaker 05

  I like it and I wouldn't change it.

• 24:45Speaker 06

  And how many times have you been there when you have your cereal, you pour your milk and say like, oh shit, I don't have enough milk. I gotta go pour more.

• 24:52Speaker 05

  No, but you can tell how much milk you have.

• 24:55Speaker 04

  It's never ever happened because when I pick the milk out of the fridge, I know exactly if I have enough or not enough milk.

• 25:01Speaker 06

  Then pour that amount into your bowl.

• 25:05Speaker 05

  You know what I've had happen, which is even more sad is whenever I'm preparing for this and I go to pour the cereal and the box weighs so much. I'm like, oh, there's at least enough for a bowl and like four pieces of cereal come out. And that's it.

• 25:17Speaker 06

  Well, that's, that's a whole other issue. That's another issue.

• 25:19Speaker 04

  That sounds like a skill issue.

• 25:20Speaker 06

  Yeah, that's a different issue.

• 25:25Speaker 00

  Born from the intensity of a knight in the eternal city. Introducing Born in Roma Fragrances by Valentino. Feminine perfume Donna Born in Roma features juicy black currant, central jasmine, soft cashmerin and warm vanilla. Masculine leaning but unisex womo has notes of fresh violet leaf, aromatic sage, green vetiver and mineral salt. Shop holiday gifts at Macy's.com.

• 25:54Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 26:23Speaker 05

  I've got this. There's no way I don't get this point.

• 26:26Speaker 06

  You've got this. I'm gonna, I'll send you the time that it starts at. You're so good. Ready?

• 26:34Speaker 05

  Yes.

• 26:35Speaker 06

  All right, and go.

• 26:36Speaker 05

  In Japan, what do you think the most common animal to fear would be? Oh, I'll tell you the answer. Bears. Bear attack shelters are going on sale in Japan as the country experiences record high number of incidents. Bears in Japan going crazy. Listen, Bob, don't even try to say anything. I've got this point. I don't know if we gunged or not, but I'm gonna tell you about bears. They're mammals. They got claws. Don't you step in. I'm telling you about, this is my point.

• 27:07Speaker 06

  Wade, here's a, here's a topic. I'm not sure which side to take you on, but let's say kids having cell phones.

• 27:16Speaker 05

  Don't get me started on kids with cell phones. When we were growing up, we were lucky to have a walkie talkie. My grandparents gave me a walkie talkie and if I got out of range of the walkie talkie, grounded in trouble, not going out again. Kids with cell phones, they don't worry about dial up internet like we did. They can just access whatever, whenever. They're in class, cell phone goes off. Uh, hold on teacher, gotta take this call. That's why they're dumb as shit and not learning anything because they're fucking sitting there Googling dumb shit, responding to their friends, texting their friends, looking at porn, making bombs, whatever teenagers do these days. That's not fucking sitting there and learning. We talk about the education system, family, oh, must be the teachers, oh, must be this. No, it's the goddamn stupid ass kids and their worst fucking parents giving them all

• 27:59Speaker 05

  this technology way too early and they don't know how to handle it because they're giving it an early age. Think, oh, I can just go off and multitask whenever. No, your brain's not that good. Our brains aren't that good. Humans' brains aren't that good. We're all stupider for having phones in front of us at all times. Kids with cell phones, worst idea. Nothing good is coming of that. They might, once in a blue moon, have an important text or call that comes that does have to go through the principal's office. We had a protocol for that. If something important happened, the principal comes in and your comm goes off. Come in, we need to tell you something. Now it's, hey, grandma died. By the way, just thought you should know. Love you. Don't forget to do your homework. Bye. And it's like, fucking why is that on your phone? Don't even get me started on this.

• 28:36Speaker 06

  I looked at my cellphone every time you said the word phone during that.

• 28:39Speaker 05

  See? I'll take that phone and beat little Timmy's fucking head in with it. Be like, you pay attention now? You gonna pay attention now?

• 28:45Speaker 06

  No, he probably is not.

• 28:47Speaker 05

  This is good therapy. We should do this more often.

• 28:50Speaker 06

  I'm just gonna show my desk so you know there's no other lens caps. Okay. So you know. Good. You know, is this the kind of production we can expect from the movie?

• 29:00Speaker 05

  Okay, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna flip it in camera. It's gonna go straight up.

• 29:04Speaker 06

  I'm sticking with heads.

• 29:05Speaker 05

  Sticking with heads.

• 29:06Speaker 06

  Heads. I've never lost with heads.

• 29:09Speaker 05

  Are we ready? Three, two.

• 29:20Speaker 06

  Ah, fucking no way!

• 29:23Speaker 05

  Eight points to nothing!

• 29:26Speaker 06

  Mark, you might just need to call this before he comes back. He's really mad. No, it can land the other way. I don't, I don't know. Wait, call it? Scared. Oh, let's go heads.

• 29:38Speaker 06

  Okay, it's not cursed for you.

• 29:43Speaker 06

  All right, okay, so it can't, it can't, I, I, I don't know. Mark, I'm gonna need to get that from you. I think that's my lucky coin. All right, okay, all right. Can you mail that to me? I'm nine and O with this coin. Oh, it's getting light.

• 29:56Speaker 05

  Oh, he's back. Okay, cool.

• 29:57Speaker 06

  Do we tell him or we not tell him about the other coin flip after he left? What other coin flip? I'm fine. I've calmed down. Okay, so you were O and eight.

• 30:05Speaker 05

  I know what, and then I flipped it. I was like, it, maybe it's weighted and I flipped it like to see if it could land on heads and it landed on heads. So it's like, can.

• 30:14Speaker 06

  So it was heads for me, just not for you. I took some deep breaths and I'm, I'm back now. And I'm just gonna put that what you just said completely out of my mind so that I can remain calm for the end of this episode.

• 30:30Speaker 03

  Watch new episodes on Spotify.

• 30:36Speaker 01

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Take out some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Now at Kroger, your points add up to more ways to save every trip. Use them your way to take dollars off groceries at checkout or save at the pump. You can even save up to $35 on your next fill-up. Same points, more choices. And with low prices on fresh, quality food, plus digital and personalized offers tailored to how you shop, your dollar goes further. Redeem your points online or in the app. Kroger. Fresh for everyone. Restrictions apply. See site or store for details.