Wade Definitely Has A Topic

The guys make up for lost small talk and discuss the highs and lows of this year so far. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Big moments deserve a signature that stands out. For Jeremiah Love, Sharpie's 2026 Rookie of the Year and third overall draft pick, it was his first pro contract. That's why he signed it using the Sharpie S胶pen. For a mark that looked clean, confident, and unmistakably his. The Sharpie S胶pen features no smear, no smudge, no bleed technology, and always vivid writing. High performance for high performers. For life's biggest signing moments, make it Sharpie. Shop now at Amazon.

• 0:30Speaker 01

  This is the sound of confidence. Confidence behind the wheel of the Mazda CX-50 Hybrid. It comes standard with a suite of proactive safety features and lets you explore far and wide with an EPA estimated 38 miles per gallon combined and electronic all-wheel drive. Mazda, move and be moved. Tap the banner to discover how confidence comes standard. Mileage will vary based on vehicle condition, driving habits, and other factors. Use for comparison purposes only. Actual results will vary.

• 1:00Speaker 02

  Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, winning Wade the Torsoteller has a Pokemon marriage, pseudo seances, then slams scalpers. Broken Bob narrates nuances for the listeners, gets infested by evil, and rates curses. Moneyless Mark wants flipping fans, drowns in the deep, has nine inches, and endorses Big Brother. From prognostications to solving scamming. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's time for Wade Definitely Has A Topic.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Now, sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

• 1:50Speaker 03

  Hey, everyone. Welcome back to Distractible. I'm today's host. Those are words I don't get to say often enough anymore, but today I do. I may already declare myself the winner today, just so I can host again. But I guess we'll see what happens in the end. Spoilers, I don't even know yet. Join is always one of my co-hosts, Mark and Bob. Hi, guys.

• 2:07Speaker 04

  I'm glad you don't know the future. That makes me feel much better about all of this.

• 2:11Speaker 03

  This episode is not rigged, believe it or not.

• 2:13Speaker 04

  We'll see if I believe that.

• 2:15Speaker 05

  I just realized something. We have a problem. I'm in trouble. I'm looking around my desk and I'm noticing that there's one thing missing from my undisclosed location.

• 2:25Speaker 04

  You don't have any lens caps?

• 2:27Speaker 05

  Oh, I got lens caps, but I don't have a coin. And I think the constitution specifically dictates that it must be a coin.

• 2:34Speaker 04

  Uh-oh. I'm sure that won't come up.

• 2:37Speaker 05

  I don't know the exact qualification with which that is going to be a problem for me, but it's currently a problem. But I have a lens cap.

• 2:43Speaker 04

  I would allow a substitute lens cap. I'm not going to be a hard ass about this.

• 2:48Speaker 05

  The constitution says either a coin or specifically a lens cap, and it has to be a lens cap.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  Look, if there's one person that loves all the rules we've set and is a diehard follower, it's today's host.

• 2:59Speaker 05

  I want one of our fans who really loves statistics and numbers to go get a lens cap and flip it a thousand times and measure how often it lands on heads and tails to see how fair a lens cap is. And then do that with like five other brands of lens cap to find the most fair lens cap.

• 3:19Speaker 04

  Yeah, you gotta cover across brands, because what is that one? That's not a cannon that you have in front of you, is it?

• 3:24Speaker 05

  This is a Tamron.

• 3:25Speaker 03

  No, it was a lens cap. A cannon fires balls.

• 3:27Speaker 05

  This is a new camera from my usual, and so let's see how it's good at close focus. Ah, nice and slow.

• 3:32Speaker 04

  Oh, that's pretty crispy. Yeah, that's fine.

• 3:34Speaker 05

  Yeah, but it's there.

• 3:37Speaker 04

  Takes a sweet time with that focus pull.

• 3:40Speaker 05

  But I can zoom.

• 3:42Speaker 04

  Me too. Wade, can you do it?

• 3:44Speaker 03

  I like how your face gets creepier whenever you do the zoom feature.

• 3:47Speaker 05

  That's just my face.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  Why do you tilt?

• 3:50Speaker 04

  You should just lean forward and down like me. It's way less creepy. I wish I could reach my zoom ring without having to fucking cover my whole camera.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  I also have a zoom feature.

• 4:04Speaker 05

  Wow.

• 4:05Speaker 03

  I got a lot of torso.

• 4:07Speaker 04

  You're a leany man.

• 4:08Speaker 05

  Like leany boo.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  Leany boob?

• 4:11Speaker 05

  I even pronounced it hard.

• 4:13Speaker 04

  Leany, what did you pronounce hard?

• 4:15Speaker 05

  I'm not saying it again.

• 4:17Speaker 04

  I heard leany boo. I wasn't paying very close attention.

• 4:20Speaker 05

  I'm not playing these games. I'm downloading Steam and I'm gonna, I'm playing Power Wash Simulator.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  That's a good, dude, have you played the Star Wars DLC? I was sponsored for it, but like regardless.

• 4:32Speaker 05

  You were sponsored? Wait, why did I get sponsored? Wait, what the fuck?

• 4:35Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm so sorry.

• 4:36Speaker 04

  Everybody knows Wade as the guy who plays Power Wash Simulator. I don't know what you're so mad about.

• 4:41Speaker 03

  Okay, well, that feels like an insult to me.

• 4:44Speaker 05

  You should be insulted. I'm insulting you.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  They wanted someone, you know, a little bit more, you know, got what I got and you got.

• 4:51Speaker 05

  What do you got that I don't got? I can name like a million things that I got that you don't got.

• 4:56Speaker 03

  Height, humbleness.

• 4:58Speaker 05

  One, two, three, four, five, six.

• 5:05Speaker 04

  For the listeners, Mark was counting his hairs on his head.

• 5:09Speaker 03

  Okay, we don't have to tell the listeners everything. Some things could just die.

• 5:12Speaker 04

  I just want to make sure they're up to speed. I don't want them to feel left out.

• 5:15Speaker 03

  No, I was though. I got to do the DLC for months. It was really cool.

• 5:18Speaker 05

  Where are people trying to talk to me? That's what I wonder, because like they must have, they must have tried to talk to me, right? They must have.

• 5:25Speaker 03

  Hold on, can we just, if Wade got this, I should, I definitely.

• 5:28Speaker 05

  That's what I mean. I'm just saying, I literally am the Power Wash guy. I'm, I'm, I'm the Power Wash guy. There's no other guy besides me, right?

• 5:37Speaker 04

  That's what I call him.

• 5:38Speaker 05

  If you're good at something, never do it for free. I did give GoPro a lot of free publicity before I got the.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  You did a whole Power Wash series. I don't think that was sponsored, was it?

• 5:47Speaker 05

  No, no, it wasn't. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Man, you're so right. Oh, man, and handsome.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  Just give Bob like a free 10 points for not questioning the fact that I got a sponsorship.

• 5:59Speaker 05

  But you're so handsome. But it's anywhere handsome.

• 6:02Speaker 03

  Man, I never felt so slapped and beat up from just words before.

• 6:05Speaker 04

  I didn't question it because I just, I just assumed that you're lying.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  I will, I will show you all the contracts right now in Minecraft. Wait, I don't have to let you that. That's true. I could just show you.

• 6:15Speaker 04

  Prove to me the amount of money they sponsored you for by sending me that exact amount, and I will believe you.

• 6:21Speaker 03

  You know, I was starting to go for it, and then you just kept talking. So now's, now's I'm not gonna.

• 6:27Speaker 04

  Oh, no.

• 6:29Speaker 03

  I'll give it any points. You know what? Fuck you guys.

• 6:31Speaker 04

  What are we doing here? Podcast?

• 6:33Speaker 03

  Mark's playing Power Wash instead of participating at the moment, which is probably good for his points.

• 6:37Speaker 05

  I'm sending five, I forgot I have to send a contract along. You know, business stuff.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  That means he forgot to download Power Wash. So when he's downloading it, then he'll play.

• 6:46Speaker 04

  He's buying the DLC currently. It's like, oh, Star Wars DLC, oh shit, oh god. Why do I always have to put the security code in? This is, I use this every.

• 6:56Speaker 03

  I'm Mark. I forgot what it was like to buy a game.

• 6:59Speaker 05

  I buy all my games. And frankly, when I, when I, even when I play any games, I still tip the developer most of the time.

• 7:05Speaker 03

  Good boy.

• 7:06Speaker 04

  I'm not on a high horse about this, but as content creators, we kind of should. Like I, there's such an ethical gray area of people where it's like, because I get why devs are like, oh, here's a key, play our game. But if you get that for free and you don't disclose that, even though it's just the dev like sharing, like, that's a huge issue. You know, lots of streamers, YouTubers get in big trouble, have gotten in big trouble for that. It's a big thing. And I feel like lots of people, I have no proof of anyone specifically, but I just feel like you get so many emails when you're on like the lists as a content creator type person. I know there are people out there who were like, oh, free key, and they play the game and then whatever, and they never, ever disclose that shit. I always buy the game just because I'm like, stay away FTC, I'm cool, like.

• 7:50Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't want to, yeah, I don't want to deal with any of that.

• 7:53Speaker 03

  I feel like we're pretty good, and whenever we get keys, we don't do it with us three, but like the other recording group I do.

• 7:59Speaker 04

  You have other recording groups? Don't listen, Mark. He's still lying. He doesn't have any other friends. It's just us. That's why he comes back despite the way we treat him.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  But God, wouldn't that be depressing? You guys were my only friends.

• 8:10Speaker 04

  It is, I know.

• 8:11Speaker 03

  That's why I'm bald and sad.

• 8:13Speaker 04

  I know.

• 8:13Speaker 03

  I introduced you all, you all are assholes. Is that small talk? Is it small talk?

• 8:18Speaker 04

  Well, since we didn't have small talk last week, am I allowed to talk about the fact that I was, I was hospitalized for three days?

• 8:24Speaker 03

  No. Mark, you got any small talk?

• 8:26Speaker 05

  Uh, yeah, I'll go ahead. Thanks, Bob.

• 8:28Speaker 03

  Just kidding, Bob, it's floors yours.

• 8:30Speaker 04

  No, I was interested to hear what Mark was gonna say.

• 8:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know, but you know, he's so busy with Power Wash Sim and not trusting my brand deals that I think you should go first. Unless Mark wants to go first.

• 8:39Speaker 05

  I'll go first.

• 8:39Speaker 03

  We can flip a coin to see who goes first. Do you guys have coins?

• 8:42Speaker 05

  Oh, lens cap.

• 8:44Speaker 04

  I think unless, unless something specific is triggered, only Wade really needs to flip a coin for this one if we're gonna do that, I don't think.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  Bob, you're such a good storyteller. Maybe you should let Mark go first, just so he has a chance at anything.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  It's honestly not that crazy, but it was miserable, so they've got that going for me.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  Okay, Mark, you should definitely go first, because if he's miserable, we're gonna Bob's fridge part three.

• 9:01Speaker 05

  I, as you know, am sponsored by GoPro, code Mark, M-A-R-K-I-B-L-I-E-R. Check out for 10% off. Also, this podcast is sidelong also sponsored. Did you know that?

• 9:13Speaker 04

  Do we have our own code or is our code also Mark?

• 9:19Speaker 05

  No, there's actually, they gave us distractible as well, D-I-S-T-R-A-C-D-I-B-L-E. It's been so long since we've spelled out our name like that in ad reads.

• 9:27Speaker 04

  I know, we used to do that. All the time. It is weird.

• 9:30Speaker 05

  Anyway, I went in the pool.

• 9:34Speaker 05

  This guy did. I did because I got the GoPro and it's waterproof, right? So I was like, I think I'll try to film some stuff. I'll do some where I do a big punch like I did before. That'll be fun. And I enjoyed swimming. Also, I almost drowned so many times. Cause I'm incredibly out of shape and I cannot hold my breath for nearly as long as I think I can. I kept dropping the GoPro down, uh, cause I don't know why my brain was like, it's going to float, right? And my pool is not like incredibly deep, but I think it's like, I don't know. Like it has a deep spot that's about eight feet or something, maybe more.

• 10:13Speaker 04

  That's like 10 markipliers.

• 10:14Speaker 05

  You think I'm nine inches tall or eight and some fractions tall? Is that what you think of me?

• 10:21Speaker 04

  We got your like my own little tinker bell. I was talking, tuck it in my pocket.

• 10:25Speaker 05

  Eight divided by, how about you say like 10, did you say 10 point, point? Oh, oh man, I'm point eight. I'm point eight of a foot. What's point, point eight times 12? I'm nine point six inches. That's what you think of me, friend?

• 10:39Speaker 04

  Hey, a lot of people would kill to be nine point six inches.

• 10:42Speaker 05

  That's true. You're right. You think of nine point six inches.

• 10:50Speaker 04

  Around.

• 10:52Speaker 05

  Holy shit. Wait, no, is that? No, okay. That's not that crazy. Well, I mean, no, I do you mean circumference or diameter? What are we talking here?

• 11:00Speaker 04

  I think he means circumference.

• 11:03Speaker 05

  Well, that's, that's perfectly average circumference then. So we, I go down and I, I kept going down to the bottom and grabbing it. And then panicking very quickly. And every time, I don't know what this is. I have the reverse mammalian breath reflex. Whereas right before I breach the surface, I go with water and I don't know why.

• 11:27Speaker 04

  Oh yeah. The drowning reflex. I love that reflex.

• 11:30Speaker 05

  He's telling just, I'm not a pool guy. So I just, I get, I'm like, I'm so cold. I'm like, I'm there.

• 11:36Speaker 04

  Was your uncle like a fish or something? You're like, oh, better get some water before I make my jump.

• 11:41Speaker 05

  Yeah, I don't know. I don't, I don't know what it is, but it wasn't working out for me.

• 11:44Speaker 04

  I know it's not the same thing. Does the pool, especially swimming down to the deep end? Does that trigger your like, your like ocean fear reflex thing? Or is that literally like, that's the ocean? This is a pool. That's really obviously not the same.

• 11:58Speaker 05

  If I'm in a pool alone, then yeah, there are suddenly going to be sharks spawning in the pool when I'm not looking and I have to get out of it immediately. Uh, but Amy was there and you know, so that, that helped.

• 12:09Speaker 04

  I almost went alone either. And it's not because of that. It's because of the, are you afraid of the dark episode? So every time you came up, Amy just sees you go down, coming up almost to the surface and then dying a little bit. And it's just like.

• 12:22Speaker 00

  Big moments deserve a signature that stands out for Jeremiah Love, Sharpie's 2026 Rookie of the Year and third overall draft pick. It was his first pro contract. That's why he signed it using the Sharpie S Jo pen for a mark that looked clean, confident and unmistakably his. The Sharpie S Jo pen features no smear, no smudge, no bleed technology and always vivid writing. High performance for high performers. For life's biggest signing moments, make it Sharpie. Shop now at Amazon.

• 12:52Speaker 05

  It's fine. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, she was just filming me from the side, you know, just. She, she put up a good interview of a story of just me with like this snorkel, the snorkel that goes up over the front for some reason. But it's just me like doing pirouettes in it. I get the top under the water and.

• 13:13Speaker 04

  Oh God, you're so brave gagging on water to see if you can take it.

• 13:16Speaker 05

  I had this idea though. Wouldn't you guys agree on a stream? I talked about this. Cause GoPro doesn't make this. I don't know if any camera makes it, make or make this, but they have, uh, GoPro makes this thing that's a smaller version of it. It has built in lights, right? Why don't they make a night vision, one of those where the light isn't IR light? So that you have both a night vision camera and the built in IR light, like the Sony camcorders that Ethan and I used for Unisonus all the time for the night. No one makes infrared cameras anymore. No one makes night vision cameras, but it's such a useful thing.

• 13:48Speaker 04

  I don't know the physics of it, but like, does infrared, cause it's a like a lower frequency light wave? Does it not travel through water as well? Cause clearly like light travels through water. Light gets diffracted or whatever. It gets, it gets, it's different when it goes through water, right? It's darker, quicker.

• 14:08Speaker 04

  Like maybe infrared doesn't penetrate water adequately for that to be like a valuable thing.

• 14:13Speaker 05

  Oh, interesting. No, you're totally right.

• 14:15Speaker 04

  Is there other like night vision technology other than infrared that could work as an underwater? I mean, maybe, but it probably costs like a fuck billion dollars to.

• 14:24Speaker 03

  Really powerful flashlights.

• 14:26Speaker 05

  I mean, ultraviolet, but I don't know if you could make a camera that does that. Cause most cameras can capture IR naturally. They actually have built in IR filters to pull out the infrared. Um, I don't know how many cameras can film ultraviolet. Get on that GoPro. Hey, GoPro, use code markiplier to buy your supplies. I think it'll still work.

• 14:51Speaker 05

  GoPro is just a bunch of cigars smoking.

• 14:55Speaker 04

  I know GoPro was what run by the epic rap battles of history guy?

• 15:01Speaker 03

  I hope you guys used our codes while they lasted. They're both gone now.

• 15:08Speaker 04

  The C, the CEO of GoPro sitting at home, watching this episode like, how do they know?

• 15:14Speaker 05

  You know, with your hospital nonsense.

• 15:17Speaker 04

  Well, now it's all hyped up. It's definitely, uh, anyway, it's not good. And I have an open wound on the bottom of my foot currently and it's very open, which is not great. The bigger, honestly, the wound, the cut or whatever, the hole in me is not the big problem. The big problem was that I got, it got infected. Uh, I had had this for a while and I was sort of taking care of it and just living with it. But I wasn't taking particular care of it, but it seemed fine. I had been keeping it clean and just like trying to keep off of it, but not aggressively. Uh, and it got infected and it got infected. So like on Thursday, I went to, oh, Thursday, two weeks ago now.

• 15:58Speaker 04

  But I went to an urgent care and they were like, oh yeah, no, that doesn't look very good. Okay. And they gave me some antibiotics. But then literally the next day on Friday, it got worse and worse and felt like my leg was going to explode. And like my whole leg from the knee down was like bright red. It was like, okay, well we should probably go to the ER, I guess. I don't know if. One pill a day of antibiotics is going to do. And I went and the doctor, uh, at the ER actually saw me very quickly. I was very impressed. It was very nice. We were in a room in the ER within like, God, I swear it was like half an hour. But the doctor was like, okay, take your socks off, whatever. And sort of looked down at my foot and just went, oh, I don't like that. And like walked out of the room. It's like, oh no. Oh God. Okay. Wow.

• 16:42Speaker 03

  He handed in his medical license. It was like, I quit.

• 16:45Speaker 05

  I don't like this. I'm out.

• 16:48Speaker 04

  Uh, but so I had it, had an infection, was pretty unpleasant, slept in the hospital for, well, I didn't sleep the first night. I didn't get. I went to the hospital late at night on Friday. I didn't get into a room until seven 30 in the morning. And I did not get to sleep for any of that. So I was just like sitting up in waiting rooms in the hospital, mostly waiting to, to get somewhere where they could start giving me. Like medicine and shit. I got to eat hospital food. Dude, I don't know if we just have a fancy hospital and I haven't gotten the bill yet. So I may regret this, but it was like. Like room service and shit. It wasn't just like, oh, here's your prison meal. I had to call every meal, breakfast, lunch, dinner. I had to call and be like, oh yeah. I'd like some bacon and eggs. You just order whatever the fuck you want. It's like being on a cruise ship. It's crazy. It's like all, all inclusive.

• 17:33Speaker 04

  Except I paid for it, I think.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  But like, it wasn't bad. The hospital food was pretty good. And, uh, aside from being painfully boring, I'm fine. Infection is fine. But I do have, my leg is wrapped up from the knee down and I have a huge puffy thing on my foot to try and alleviate the pressure. Cause the problem is it's on the bottom of my foot. So when I walk on it, it sort of prevents it from healing properly. I'm going to be fine, but there was definitely a couple of days where I was laying in the hospital bed by myself, just like bored out of my mind, like. God, they're probably going to cut my foot off. I guess, fuck, I don't know. It's like, doesn't feel very good. It's fine. I'll be fine. I do feel like I was hospitalized. So wait, if you give me a couple of pity points, uh, I feel like that's pretty fair.

• 18:18Speaker 03

  Well, I'm writing something down.

• 18:20Speaker 04

  And I'm not going to say I'll judge you as a person and then our friendship will be affected if you choose not to give me a couple of points for that, but.

• 18:26Speaker 03

  So you're saying I have an out?

• 18:28Speaker 05

  Depending on how this episode goes and the game, the way it is prepared goes, I think my only strategy to win is to land on witness protection three times in a row. I think that there's possibility. I think I still got the chance. So really pull for that.

• 18:41Speaker 03

  Uh, based on the current score, I think you still have a chance.

• 18:44Speaker 05

  Uh, can I get a pity point for something? So I got, I have these like, you know, ergonomic bead wristrests for my keyboard and stuff. And I bought another one and I've been practicing like, uh, Five Nights at Freddy's two, uh, 1020 mode. So my, you know, a lot of mouse movement, I, I need a new one. And I was like, oh, it came, it arrived. I'm, it's here. And I get the scissors to go open it and cut right into it. I cut straight into it. It just started falling out. I bought it and it was just like, oh my God. So, uh, yeah, that didn't.

• 19:14Speaker 04

  Did you not see the small decal on the package that said no sharps?

• 19:20Speaker 05

  I have to use a big knife.

• 19:21Speaker 04

  With non-sharps, Mark, with non-sharps.

• 19:24Speaker 05

  Well, I just opened this with my bare hands and sharps. So I think I'm all right.

• 19:29Speaker 03

  I've been buying a lot of Pokemon cards as I was talking about, and I've gotten some online, like from eBay and stuff. And some of the way people seal cards is they tape it up in like bubble wrap. Inside the bubble wrap are two pieces of cardboard taped on all four sides. And then they'll tape the thing the card is in to the cardboard. And then that is also taped close. And then once you get that open, then there's the hard case that they tape over the top to the card doesn't slide out. And some of this tape was made by God. There is no, you have to cut it. Like there's no other way. And I've got this card, you know, it's worth whatever, anywhere from 10 bucks to a couple hundred bucks, whatever. And it's like, I've got my exacto.

• 20:07Speaker 04

  That was some wild thunder.

• 20:08Speaker 03

  I got my exacto knife and I'm like, please don't cut this card. I've spent an hour trying to open. I'm going to have your experience with Pokemon card is going to be very sad.

• 20:17Speaker 05

  But if you do do that, all the other cards in the world go up in value. So.

• 20:21Speaker 04

  It's like a public service.

• 20:22Speaker 03

  Watching people that like do card openings and then cut the cards in half or light them on fire or eat them. After I own a copy of the card, those hurt me slightly less.

• 20:31Speaker 04

  I can't say I've watched for any length of time, but I have been, my interest has been piqued in the Pokemon stuff. So I have been buying a couple of packs because my target seems to always have packs of the completely unpopular sets just on the shelf at MSRP. Uh, but when I'm scrolling on socials and all those videos of people who open like 3,000 packs of Pokemon cards a day and in their stream every single. And they just have like a, like a utility knife or like a razor blade and they just take, they're just like flap, flap, flap, new pack. Whoosh with the blade and fucking tear it open. And I'm like, God damn, what if one of those is actually worth something like Jesus Christ? The people who open them like it's a, like it's a factory assembly lens, I would, I couldn't watch it. It stresses me out.

• 21:14Speaker 04

  I know that the one pack I bought at Target that they had is not going to have a $50,000 card in it, but I'm still like, I tear it and I. Oh, I hope this basic energy is not crumpled. I hope I don't foul the corner of it. And then there's just people online who would spend a thousand dollars a stream, probably more, probably $5,000 a stream on booster boxes and box. And they're just, yeah, fucking fuck these cards. Yeah. God damn.

• 21:39Speaker 03

  Uh, I couldn't do that either. I'm very slow. I open packs with Molly. We've been kind of like opening them together because we both like to collect. She's got a whole page of just like base set chances. When she sees a chancey for like a good price or whatever, she's just like, I'm, I'm like, don't you have shit? She's like, I want more chancey. So she's.

• 21:57Speaker 04

  She really fucking likes chancey. I get it.

• 21:59Speaker 03

  If there are chances in the world, watch out.

• 22:01Speaker 05

  Like a whole wall of chances, just like from floor to ceiling?

• 22:05Speaker 03

  I hope she does not watch this because she probably would.

• 22:08Speaker 04

  She wants to build a whole tent made out of laminated pages of chances.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  This is really random. There was a listing on eBay. It was like the entire jungle set, which is the second set of Pokemon cards to ever come out in the nineties. And this giant frame and the listing said, this is for Logan Paul only. So I guess, I guess they made a listing hoping he would buy their framed jungle set for some reason.

• 22:31Speaker 05

  No, no, it was a warning. It was a warning. If you buy it, you will turn into Logan Paul.

• 22:39Speaker 05

  It's a cursed set. That's the thing.

• 22:41Speaker 03

  Body get better, mind get worse. I could go for it.

• 22:44Speaker 04

  That's, that's a, that's a crazy curse, man. But if you sell it to Logan Paul, you'll become Jake Paul.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  So you're always a Paul?

• 22:52Speaker 04

  Once a Paul, always a Paul. Wade, you know what they say.

• 22:54Speaker 03

  Well, that's an appalling decision.

• 22:58Speaker 04

  Like the, like from that jungle book song, something, something prickly pear, something use the paw, paw, paw, something, something.

• 23:05Speaker 05

  It's like that movie, It Paulos, where if you have sex with someone, you turn them into Jake Paul.

• 23:14Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's funny.

• 23:16Speaker 04

  But you have to point at camera. It doesn't count.

• 23:18Speaker 03

  That's funny. You want Paul or a prickly pear and you pick a raw Paul. Next time beware. Don't pick a prickly pear by the paw. If you pick a pear, try to use the claw, but you don't need to use the claw when you pick a prickly pear off the big paw, paw.

• 23:30Speaker 04

  That's, that's the song. Yes. That's the one I was accurately quoting.

• 23:34Speaker 05

  If I was judging, I would give that points.

• 23:36Speaker 03

  Dude, I can't remember a person I spent 10 hours with two days ago. Like, I don't remember their name, but.

• 23:42Speaker 04

  It's me, dude.

• 23:46Speaker 03

  Your name was, uh, Smert? Smert? It was Smert. I don't know. My, my like shorts of memory is terrible, but like, I can remember that. I could still probably recite most of the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet or the tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow speech. Is that a fellow? Like I can just pull that shit out of, straight out of ninth grade. I'm like, yes, I still know it. But the shit I need to remember from like yesterday, it's like, it never happened. It's, I hate, I hate the way my memory works.

• 24:11Speaker 04

  Me too, man. Everybody does.

• 24:13Speaker 03

  I talked to you, I started physical therapy. I don't know if I've given, uh, because we didn't do the thing last week, so I'm not having surgery on my knee. It's not a meniscus tear, no ligament damage. I have a cartilage defect on the cartilage right on my thigh bone under my kneecap. There's like a big glowy spot on the MRI and there's just a lot of inflammation coming from that. So I'm doing, I'm taking an anti-inflammatory and doing like six weeks of physical therapy, trying to strengthen the muscle and joint or whatever. Hopefully I get to avoid surgery. I could maybe need laparoscopic to clean it up, but I'm hoping to avoid it. But nonetheless, it's nothing major. It's just a cartilage defect that was maybe already even there and I just aggravated it. I'm not sure. I don't know how those work, but. I did find all of that out and I don't know if I've given a knee update. Bob's leg update reminded me that between the two of us, we have like two good legs.

• 24:57Speaker 04

  That's true. And they're approximately the same length. Thank God it's you and me.

• 25:01Speaker 05

  Imagine if I had to donate each of you, one of my legs.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  We're just walking around like.

• 25:08Speaker 05

  I apologize. You're gonna have to do some leg lengthening after the fact.

• 25:11Speaker 03

  I'm coming for you.

• 25:12Speaker 04

  What a weirdly specific but evocative way to demonstrate the height difference between us and Mark. Look, look what I look like with one Mark leg.

• 25:23Speaker 04

  We told you.

• 25:24Speaker 03

  I had this weird thing that I, I looked in the mirror and I was trying to decide if I'm well proportioned or if I'm too torso-y. It's like, do I have short legs and a giant torso?

• 25:32Speaker 04

  It's not your torso. It's because you have a huge ass.

• 25:35Speaker 03

  Oh, so when I look in the mirror in the front, all I see is my back ass, my front ass.

• 25:39Speaker 05

  Normally people's asses bridge a small zone between their legs and their torso. Yours actually goes from mid thigh to like lower back.

• 25:48Speaker 04

  I like to call, I like to call your build the snowman. Your three ball of snowman.

• 25:54Speaker 03

  No, I'm a tripod.

• 25:55Speaker 04

  Yeah. Torso, ass and legs.

• 25:57Speaker 03

  Explains why I never have any back pain because it's just ass. There's no back.

• 26:01Speaker 04

  You're like Aunt Fanny from Robots.

• 26:03Speaker 05

  I've never actually seen robots. So wow, yeah.

• 26:06Speaker 04

  You haven't? It's actually very good.

• 26:09Speaker 05

  I've heard and I know all the memes and it's, it's like, God, that song.

• 26:15Speaker 05

  You know?

• 26:15Speaker 04

  That song fucking slapped. Plus you like, here come the mummies. I would say that song is not unrelated to the vibe that here come the mummies gives. I recently showed that to James for the first time and I hadn't watched it in like forever. And I was just sitting there with him like, oh, I love this movie.

• 26:32Speaker 03

  I've never seen robots.

• 26:34Speaker 04

  Great performance from Robin Williams. Great cast. Great movie. Love it. The visuals are awesome.

• 26:38Speaker 05

  Did you know that Fanny in the UK is slang for vagina?

• 26:43Speaker 03

  Yes. Cause I remember sitting Fanny pack and people were like, I was like, what? I think Fanny packs are kind of weird too. And they were like, I was like, what? You know how the UK people have.

• 26:54Speaker 04

  Classic, classic British laugh. Yes.

• 26:57Speaker 03

  And thongs or sandals?

• 26:59Speaker 04

  That one's less creative. We call them thong sandals. Like in America, you could have, I think we just say sandals a lot, but like. Americans distinguish between like those are slide sandals or slides and those are like thong sandals. I feel like that's a thing here.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  I get it, but aren't those kind of small to cover their whole foot? It's just like a band with a.

• 27:15Speaker 04

  Aren't thongs kind of small to cover your whole ass and genitals region? I think that's the idea. I think that's the notion.

• 27:21Speaker 03

  Wow. He's blown my mind. The whole point of it, Aunt Fanny is a phrase my grandparents use. We used to do like little seances at the house where like my grandpa would get like. He would set up a thing where he'd like, have like invisible string connected to like plates and cups and stuff. So we would do a seance and he'd be like, spirit, if you're in the room. And like, he would pull a string and a cup would like come sliding down toward us. And his kids, it blew my mind. But the spirit we always tried to contact was named Aunt Fanny. That's the only time I'd ever heard that name.

• 27:49Speaker 04

  It just blew straight through the craziest part of that whole scenario.

• 27:54Speaker 05

  Insane Wade Lord drop just happened.

• 27:57Speaker 04

  Set up seances with fucking fishing wire and bullshit. You're like, yeah. And her name was Aunt Fanny. Can you believe that?

• 28:07Speaker 03

  Your families didn't do, hold on, your families didn't do like fun little seance things?

• 28:10Speaker 04

  No.

• 28:11Speaker 03

  I thought that was kind of like commonplace. I just assumed.

• 28:15Speaker 05

  Wade's family, they're all in a circle chanting, oh, and they start floating off the floor.

• 28:20Speaker 04

  Baby Mark and I are wrong subreddit. I will come look at you if you all put it out there. Is it normal to have family seance time with grandpa and grandpa?

• 28:30Speaker 03

  Okay. This happened like three times in my life. It wasn't like we did, we got together once a week.

• 28:35Speaker 04

  Three's a lot. That, that is an infinite amount of times more than it has ever happened in my life.

• 28:41Speaker 03

  Yeah, we would, uh, I, I, I'm trying to remember if they'd like, my grandma always had tons of candles because she liked candles. So I feel like we probably lit some candles. We would just sit around like the kitchen table while we were playing. My grandpa would set up this thing. Yeah. Where you'd have like little wires and stuff set up where you could like make things happen. It was, I was always like, oh, the cup would slide from the cabinet to the table. And it was, it would just blow our minds as kids. Like, oh my God, Aunt Fanny's talking to us.

• 29:03Speaker 04

  Now that I have a three year old, I'm like, yeah, I think James would probably think that was pretty fucking awesome. I think he would go crazy for that. But as a, a person who has never experienced such a thing, the fact that you thought that was just like normal is awesome.

• 29:17Speaker 03

  It was just one of those things we did as a kid that, you know, you take for granted, I guess.

• 29:21Speaker 04

  Sure, sure.

• 29:22Speaker 03

  I wonder how many things I did that I was like, yeah, everyone probably does this, that like no one does.

• 29:26Speaker 05

  Was this the only ritual that occurred? Or were there other things with knives and blood?

• 29:32Speaker 04

  How many goats did you sacrifice a year? Was your average?

• 29:35Speaker 03

  Uh, six, probably.

• 29:37Speaker 04

  Low.

• 29:38Speaker 03

  We only sacrificed goats, I think, twice. It was about six times each.

• 29:42Speaker 04

  Six sacrifices each? What the fuck's going on with these goats?

• 29:46Speaker 03

  Yeah, six sacrifices per goat. We'd slaughter them, we'd stitch them back together, CPR, slaughter them again, you know?

• 29:52Speaker 05

  Mm-hmm. It's infinite food glitch. It's really weird, you know?

• 29:55Speaker 03

  I don't, I don't know. The seance is probably one of the weirder ones, but like, I don't know, the Aunt Fanny thing triggered it, because I was like, I never even met Aunt Fanny. Why are we trying to talk to her? But my grandparents were always like, no, we're contacting Aunt Fanny. I was like, okay, well, I don't know who she is, but you guys must, maybe she died a long time ago. Maybe I just never met her.

• 30:11Speaker 04

  It all makes sense when you say it all together.

• 30:13Speaker 05

  And what you, wait, what year was this, when this occurred?

• 30:16Speaker 03

  It was the nineties. I don't know, uh.

• 30:18Speaker 04

  Like you were like a littleish kid?

• 30:20Speaker 05

  Eighteen nineties? Wait, which, which, which century?

• 30:23Speaker 03

  No, nineteen, nineteen nineties. I was probably like, between like six and ten, so.

• 30:28Speaker 05

  What's the guy's name from Thirty Rock? Who's an immortal being?

• 30:30Speaker 03

  Brendan Fraser, that's not it, um.

• 30:32Speaker 05

  Kenneth, Kenneth, Kenneth, you know Kenneth, right? Kenneth?

• 30:36Speaker 03

  I think I saw one episode of Thirty Rock ever, and it was probably when I was ten.

• 30:41Speaker 05

  No, he's canonically an immortal being in the show.

• 30:44Speaker 04

  Know that.

• 30:44Speaker 05

  Yeah, he's actually been around forever. Like legitimate, let's not exaggeration, like, there's like an end of the series episode where he's doing an episode from the year, like a thousand years in the future, and he's still there. And somehow Thirty Rock is still there, anyway.

• 31:00Speaker 03

  Oh, I was thinking Third Rock from the Sun. I never saw Thirty Rock.

• 31:04Speaker 05

  I never always, I never saw a lot of it, but you know.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  Did I, okay, I was like, wait, two thousand and six, that doesn't sound right. Third Rock from the Sun's what I'm thinking of with, uh, uh, John Lithgow. I was thinking of John Lithgow.

• 31:14Speaker 04

  Wait, who was the, who was the kid in that show? Was that Joseph Gordon-Levitt?

• 31:17Speaker 05

  Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

• 31:18Speaker 03

  He was in it, yeah.

• 31:19Speaker 04

  He was like the, he was like the young guy in that show, right?

• 31:22Speaker 05

  Yep.

• 31:23Speaker 04

  What are we talking about? Is this an episode of a podcast?

• 31:25Speaker 03

  It was, well, there's a whole thing I was, had prepared, but we're kind of, we didn't do any small talk for Mark's Perfectest Crime, so we're just kind of catching up.

• 31:32Speaker 04

  I feel like every time this happens, I believe less and less that you actually had an episode prepared. That you come in, you come in and you're like, I'll just get him really going in small talk. And then after about half an hour, I'll be like, oh, I had a really great app. I had a whole thing written out and I had all this stuff.

• 31:47Speaker 03

  I could not plan for Mark to drown himself, uh, betray GoPro. I didn't plan on you going to the hospital or breaking your foot.

• 31:55Speaker 05

  That was like, uh, my thing was like three minutes. I, I don't know, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about. Subreddit, how many times is this, in this exact scenario occurred?

• 32:05Speaker 04

  Thanks, subreddit.

• 32:06Speaker 03

  Here's what I was gonna talk about. Uh, we're over halfway now through twenty twenty-six.

• 32:10Speaker 04

  Good.

• 32:11Speaker 03

  This year's had some ups, has some downs, but overall, it's been a kind of frustrating year for me at least. But I have a list here of some things that I thought were good and bad from twenty twenty-six. And I didn't know if you guys had anything particularly you want to talk about for the year, but otherwise, I was gonna go through. We were gonna try to solve some of the bad. Not all of it's twenty twenty-six specifically, but it, I think it's been caca, what's it, what I'm looking for. It's, it's gotten worse this year, or it's like a bigger thing. The good stuff is all, I think, mostly this year, at least it's still true as of this year. So I'll just go, just go through. Getting into Pokemon card collecting, I've, uh, had a couple of different scam things happen where people, one of them was expertly done, where I got scammed, that was just impressed with how thoroughly they did their job.

• 32:53Speaker 03

  The big problem with Pokemon card collecting right now, and probably a lot of things, is scalping. The, the scalping, people buying shit and just buying tons of it, and then immediately relisting it for ten times the price online, is just the fucking worst. My original, my original intent was for us to go through and, we're just gonna solve scalping. But, um, if we don't have time, I just want to talk about it. Do you guys have things like you try to collect where scalping's a problem? Guys, no, sports tickets and Pokemon cards are two things I've encountered it heavily in.

• 33:20Speaker 04

  I don't do them actively. I don't like collect particular, if I do collect stuff, it's old enough and niche enough that like, no one's fighting me for it. Like, I'm very proud of my collection of Top Gear, uh, DVDs and Blu-rays, because I think I literally own every episode and the mini-series or whatever, the special episode. I think I own everything that you can own of Top Gear. I don't think anyone's fighting me over that in the aisle at Target. I do think the sport, the sporting events and concert ticket situation is out of hand. And I think it's, I only do that very rarely, but it always sucks because it's like, why do you even have prices on the website? Why, what are we doing here? Because the, the tickets go on sale for a game, a concert in a specific location, whatever.

• 34:05Speaker 04

  They're gone in an instant, and then they're three times the price, it feels like. I don't know what the exact numbers are, but this is a known problem. But then, like, there was a whole thing. There was a whole, like, lawsuit. There were, there was stuff done. And everyone in, like, government of the people, the authorities, were like, all right, guys, we solved scalping. So that's fixed now, so just go back to buying tickets and going and enjoying your concerts and your football games and stuff. And it's not, nothing, like, it, maybe it changed the dynamic of how it is to be a scalper, but didn't fix shit. I don't understand why it's so hard. Like, technically, I understand it's hard to prevent people, especially if they're buying stuff online,

• 34:48Speaker 04

  to be like, well, you're clearly the same person, even though you have a different IP, a different account, a different, uh, credit card, whatever. Like, I get that it's hard to discern that maybe for the, the companies selling stuff. Why can't we deal with this? What needs to happen? Because it is awful. I want to go to like one concert or football game a year, maybe. And every time I think about it, I'm like, God, I don't fucking want to deal with, like, buying tickets and being worried I'm gonna get, like, scammed and they're not actually selling tickets or paying. Like, I, I just won't go. Like, I don't give, I don't care that much.

• 35:17Speaker 05

  I have the solution. As always, Mark's coming in with the big fix. Everyone's going to have, solve their problems of scalping solved. First, we create a national registry of all online users. They submit their ID, their birth certificate, their passport, and all of their necessary residential financial information. And we house them in a Ticketmaster-only accessible database, so that they run the gambit of everybody. We can trust them, right? We can trust them. So they have everyone's ID, right? They know everyone's age, they, they know who they are, and they can see

• 35:55Speaker 05

  how many people are in your family. So they know the limit. They'll customize the limit based on you and your extended family. Not that extended. Let's say first cousins only dot com.

• 36:08Speaker 03

  Wait, what are we selling?

• 36:10Speaker 05

  Sorry, got distracted.

• 36:12Speaker 03

  Ooh, man, what a, what a callback.

• 36:14Speaker 05

  I just remembered cousins only dot com, so whoa, I'll get the callback point. There we go.

• 36:19Speaker 03

  Was that a three peens callback? That's an old callback.

• 36:22Speaker 04

  That is a long time ago.

• 36:23Speaker 05

  See, if they know who everyone is, then they will not be able to sell it to someone who's undeserving of that ticket, right? Scalpers will all get exposed, and I think the only publicly accessible information will be those who have scalps. So it'll identify anyone who in the past have bought more than ten tickets or whatever of their extended family. God help them if they had more kids later in life, but bought a bunch before they're done for, right? So it'll, it'll, I think, public executions would be very fashionable in this. Uh, they already have the stadiums for it. We can sell tickets to the public, uh, and no scalpers will go there, because if anyone tries to scalp them, right off stage.

• 37:07Speaker 04

  The immediate sentence, immediate execution.

• 37:10Speaker 05

  Yes, I think we should put the judicial branch into Ticketmaster. I believe that they are trustworthy enough to make those decisions.

• 37:19Speaker 03

  Or just limiting accounts to like where they can only sell a certain thing, like two times a year or something. Because like, if someone buys tickets to a sporting event and something comes up, you have to cancel, and you're like, well, I've got these five tickets I'm not gonna use. I guess I'll, you know, reset. Like, that'd be fine, but you're not, if you have that happen more than two to three times in a year, then like, maybe like limiting things like that, where it's like, okay, well, it's less profitable for scalpers to do it, because they really only limited how much they can do. I don't know why with cards that would be the case. Like, well, I bought this Pokemon ETB, now I don't want it, so I'll resell it for three times the price. Maybe you do that like once a year.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  This might be controversial, but number one, I like Mark's idea the best, and I have, I have a follow-up on that, yes. Number two, I'm certainly not in favor of people who scalp Pokemon cards or other collectibles and ruin it. But I do think there's kind of a difference between concert tickets or sporting event tickets and collectibles, sort of the purpose of which is maybe to collect it for personal value, like you just like something, you collect it. But also, I think a large proportion of people who collect any sort of collectible track the value of what they have, right?

• 38:27Speaker 03

  I don't mind individual cards. What about the sealed products?

• 38:29Speaker 04

  I mean, that's, that's true, but I do, I just feel like there's some level of difference where it's like, well, it is sort of meant to be bought and then sold at a higher price potentially, right? That's sort of the deal. It still sucks, but I think Mark is right, and I'm gonna put on my conspiracy theory hat, which isn't visible, and just say, Mark is talking about, like, we should implement a new system. Can we just be so for real and say, there definitely already are profiles of basically anyone who uses the internet for anything that the companies trade behind the scenes like little real person trading cards. They know who we are. I'm confident that these big companies with access to all of the metadata on a, on a specific user's, like, internet activity

• 39:13Speaker 04

  can look at a transaction and be like, oh, Gary's buying thirty more Taylor Swift era's tour tickets. Man, that guy sucked. They know. If you're gonna keep records like that on us anyway, use them for good. Use that shit to shut scalpers out. Like, look, we know this is you. We know you've bought a hundred tickets in the last three years. You can hear there's a limit now. You may buy two tickets. You are welcome. Like, fuck, if they're gonna keep the stupid fucking secret profiles, no matter how careful you are with your data, if you buy things online, if you use social media, they totally know. They know, they just do. They have like a profile on every single person who's ever touched the internet.

• 39:52Speaker 05

  Everyone knows this is something that they do. And like Facebook denied it for years, but then it was basically admitted that they are listening in on conversations. They're turning on the phones, microphones. They know all that stuff. I Googled a new stove, right? Which is something that I've never really done because ours was like our, our burners kind of like going, going out a bit. So I was like, oh, Google new stove. And then we're watching TV later and we're watching on an app where we have some ads. Never have I had a stove ad in my fucking life. I've never had a stove ad ever. Every ad in the ad break was a stove ad, different brands too. But you want to still, oh, get this stove.

• 40:35Speaker 03

  Dude, I'm getting that like Facebook. I see Pokemon cards and stuff. Cause I've been looking. Yeah.

• 40:40Speaker 05

  It's crazy.

• 40:42Speaker 04

  I know that like for legal reasons, they're not going to admit this, that the corporations are never, because they would potentially get in some sort of trouble. But I think it would buy more goodwill for corporations. Don't, don't put shit on sale that you've already artificially jacked the prices up. Don't lie to us. If they were just like, look, you guys know in your heart of hearts, we do have that. Those, those things you think we have, we have those. So as a, as a form of repayment, we're going to use these online profiles. We keep basically without your consent, you know, or without your knowing consent. We're going to shut down scalpers. No one's going to be able to scalp shit. Like I, if, if a company did that, one, I would not be surprised because I'm like, clearly I've bought into that conspiracy or whatever you call it. Like I'm pretty sure that's what's happening.

• 41:27Speaker 04

  If they were just honest and we're like, and you know, we're going to use that information to just do you a solid. I'd be like, fuck, well, if I have to engage with, you know, heartless evil corporations, I guess you're at the top of the list. At least you guys are honest and I appreciate that you're like, we're gonna fuck you, but also we'll give you a little something like, fine, great.

• 41:47Speaker 03

  My one pushback to anything you've said is the collectibles thing. Pokemon cards for adults are definitely like that, but like there was a value as a kid and getting Pokemon cards and just getting to fuck around with them. Put one in like your bikes, spokes or actually like I played with them. I would like lay them face down and pretend I was like Ash and I was going around finding wild Pokemon. I didn't counter one. And then like, I'd have my evolution cards. Like, oh my God, I get to evolve my Charmander. Cause we won three battles and like, I, I fucked around with it nowadays of like, I feel like if you see a kid with Pokemon cards doing that, you're like, oh God, that could have been a PSA 10. We're $30. Oh, these cards were a hundred dollars a pack. Why are you playing with them? Put them in sleeves. Look at them. For collectors, it's good, but like, I don't know. Pokemon cards for kids should still be a thing.

• 42:28Speaker 04

  This is why kids need to buy, kids need to get this shit and play with it aggressively. Don't let there be PSA 10s. Have every Charizard in existence be all crumpled up and folded and torn from that one time. Your, your little sibling stole your binder. Fuck, do shit. Come on, kids. I know you listen to this. Go play with your toys, ruin them.

• 42:47Speaker 03

  I'm gonna do that friend, that thing a lot of our friends like, so I've been hanging out with the cat and Logan, our friends here in Cincinnati and going to like some of these Pokemon things. We went to a card show at Eastgate Mall, which is not far from where we went to school in Milford. And Logan bought this ancient Mew card. I think overall it's like a hundred dollar card, but he got it for $1 because it's in such bad condition. And he was super excited. He's like, I'm going to send this in for grading and I hope I get a one out of 10. He's hoping for the lowest possible grade on this real shitty card. And so one of the vendors were like, I'll run it over for you if you want. Like people were like trying to help him ruin the card to make it worth. Some people out there, they want nines or 10s or they want ones, like nothing in between. The ones have a value, then it drops down and then it like eight and a half, nine, like goes up again or something.

• 43:31Speaker 03

  So he's like, I really want this shitty card to be a one. And everyone's like, I'll help you make it a one. It was some spit. Like, I don't know. It was just really funny. He spent a dollar on this card, was super excited about it. So fucking terrible. It's all crinkled and awful. Oh God, it hurts my soul to look at it, but.

• 43:47Speaker 04

  That sounds great. I love that.

• 43:48Speaker 03

  Let me jump over to one of the positives of the year. I thought, so the World Cups are, FIFA World Cup's over, right? I never really paid attention to the World Cup my entire life. This year I kind of did. I didn't watch the games, but like I checked on the scores of the different games. I knew who was like in the gold boot competition, like who was, who was scoring points. I was looking at people talking about like, oh, which teams are favored? How's the US doing and stuff? I know we hosted it in the US, so maybe there was just more press coverage because of that this year. But I thought at least in the United States, a lot of people were at least tangentially aware or talking about the World Cup compared to my recollection of years past. And seeing people come to the US, and I think we talked about this on the show, people like, dude, this city in Alabama was really cool. Oh my God, I love the US. I went to this place.

• 44:32Speaker 03

  Like, it's not as bad as I thought here in random town in Illinois or whatever. Like, I don't know. But maybe it's like in bias because it was here and there was a lot more coverage of it. But like, I felt like there was a lot more positive vibes coming from the tournament and from just people's experience with soccer and with, I don't know, the, the event and the places it was held and stuff. And I, I don't know. I thought that was a nice, positive, heartwarming 2026 thing.

• 44:54Speaker 05

  It was nice. Yeah. I mean, I, I saw a bunch of videos like that too. Just really, really nice. I usually, you know, it makes our soft, our hardened hearts go a little bit soft in terms of like, yeah, America, America could be great. It is, but I won't say that, that phrase, you know? It could be great. Period. And that's it.

• 45:18Speaker 03

  Like what, what phrase? What are you talking? Oh.

• 45:22Speaker 05

  But yeah, no, it's, it's fun to see.

• 45:24Speaker 04

  I totally agree with you.

• 45:25Speaker 03

  Did you guys keep up? I don't think any of us went to any games, but did you guys keep up with it at all or watching the games?

• 45:29Speaker 05

  A little bit. I knew who was playing in the final.

• 45:31Speaker 04

  I didn't watch a whole game the whole time. And can I just say, this is not exclusive to soccer, but, and it's probably because I'm an outsider. The acting that goes into the fouls and the whole like economy within the game of pretending you got hurt, holding your knee writhing around, the whole like discourse. I don't know what you call it. The whole culture of it in soccer looks so silly to me. It's like that in all sports. It's like that in the NBA. It's like that in the NHL affair amount. Got like, it's like that in all professional sports. This is not a soccer only thing. But it's like, it's just in soccer, something about it reads as extra hilarious to me.

• 46:14Speaker 04

  Because it'll be like two guys who run casually near each other and clearly don't touch. And one guy just like does a front flip and is like, ah, go fight. He's holding his knee like he got shot. And then the ref will come over and be like, don't play out. And he stands up and is like, fuck, I tried. God, and it runs away. It's like, oh, that, that like ruins sports for me. When that shit happens in any sport, I'm immediately like, God, I fucking hate those kids. Like, I hate that player that did that. I understand it's part of the game, but the soccer ones are like, because in hockey, it's like, at least you're pretending he hit you in the face with a hard wooden stick. Or even in the NBA, there's a lot of flopping and bullshit, but it's like, you're pretending you just got elbowed in the face,

• 46:57Speaker 04

  which would definitely hurt. In soccer, it's like, what are you pretending? You're pretending he bumped into you harder than it seemed like he did? Oh no. I know, I know. I'm underselling it. I'm not a soccer fan, so this is all bullshit. But like, it just, whatever that happens in sports, it ruins it completely for me. And every moment I watched soccer, I'd watch for like five minutes and then some crazy bullshit would happen. And I'd immediately be like, okay, that's enough sports.

• 47:22Speaker 00

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• 47:51Speaker 03

  The one that drives me the most crazy is actually in basketball. And I don't know if this still counts as a foul. I think it does. If someone goes to the three point line and they fake a shot and the other guy jumps, you then jump into the guy that jumped and the foul is on the guy in the air. It's like, oh, you shouldn't have jumped. You shouldn't have tried to go for the block. This guy then jumped into you, which means you fouled him. That pisses me off so much. It's like, why can't he, he jumped? Go around him. He's in the air. Your opportunity is to move around now. Why is jumping into him the thing that basketball is like?

• 48:26Speaker 03

  Bend to him. We'll get the call. I don't know why I'm turning into like Seinfeld. That wasn't the Jerry I was really going for, but.

• 48:31Speaker 05

  You gotta go for the epic rap battles guy a bit more. He actually has his fingers in everything.

• 48:37Speaker 04

  But yeah, like a lot of the rest of the World Cup was was really great and it was fun to see.

• 48:42Speaker 03

  Flopping is annoying. It's annoying in every sport. I agree with you.

• 48:45Speaker 04

  It's in all sports and it always pisses me off, but it's not, that's not a soccer thing.

• 48:49Speaker 03

  It's weird because like a lot of the times you'll see like the foul, that's definitely not a foul. And then you'll see someone get absolutely fucking clobbered and no one does anything about it. Someone's like tripped, knocked down, stomped on, punched in the face. They're like, ah, play on, play on. And then someone brushes past someone, like you said, someone goes flying back, like they just got hit by Thanos and it's like, definitely a foul. That's how real human physics works. Red card, get out.

• 49:13Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, there's so many, I know they're all one offs, so there's so many examples of that where there's like a player. There's clips of soccer players getting just fucking pummeled. Like there's a guy who tackles them. There's a guy who like grabs it. There's a, he goes through like four dudes and he's getting just beaten the whole time. And then he goes and keeps going and scores a goal anyway. And it's like, none of that, none of that counted, but okay. I mean, he scored a goal. So good. He did really well, I guess, but.

• 49:37Speaker 03

  Soccer, bringing us all together as we can tell.

• 49:39Speaker 04

  I mean, maybe, maybe I'm under, I feel like most sports fans probably fall in that camp. Is there anyone subreddit, answer my questions today? Is there anyone out there who watches sports and is like, oh, that was a great dive. He really earned that penalty for the team. I'm glad this is part of the sport I enjoy. I feel like every sports fan is like, just fucking, just play, just stand, just don't fall out, just keep playing. Come on, guys. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm crazy, but.

• 50:04Speaker 03

  Uh, another bad, okay. PlayStation announced they were doing away with physical game copies in like two years. Physical game copies, I still like, I still have like two boxes of DVDs in the other room. I never watched them, but I'm glad I own them. And I feel like console players, especially like one of the things about console is you got a disc or a cartridge or something. And I don't know. There's something fun about that. I get they take up space, but also like if you ever want to put game it now, the, there's a whole thing to be said about like, you must connect the online services or else you can't play a game. That's annoying, but at least owning a physical game, I don't know, feels good. Giving, taking away that choice and knowing that a lot of companies are like, hey, by the way, all those games you owned on PS3, well, PS3 service is gone.

• 50:48Speaker 03

  So where's your game library? That's fucking bullshit, man. And the whole like, do you actually own something? If it can just be snapped away, you do not.

• 50:57Speaker 05

  You do not, no.

• 50:58Speaker 04

  It depends in what sense you want to talk about it because yeah, legally you do own a thing. What you own is the right to a license as long as they permit it. That's just not a valuable thing. Uh, and you pay the same amount for that, at least when it was an option, you pay the same amount of that for that as you did when you bought a physical disc that you physically had in your possession that you still didn't really own because they could probably remotely disable your ability to play their game. If you had a disc on the modern consoles, but at least you own something that has like shit. It's physical matter, but.

• 51:30Speaker 05

  I guarantee the PlayStation move is it's, it's one of those two steps forwards, one step back thing. Or one step forward, two steps back, whatever, wherever you want to look at it, where they say, we're going to discontinue all discs. And then the outrage builds up and they're like, okay, all right. Well, it's expensive. So we're going to charge more for discs. And boom, suddenly it's commonplace because of course they want more money. And of course there's going to be collector's editions and of course it's going to be an option because if people, they know, they know. They're not stu-, they're not that stupid. They're, they're stupid sometimes. A lot of these companies are stupid, but they're not that stupid because they know that human psychology is like,

• 52:11Speaker 05

  you just have to show them something outrageous that they'll definitely reject and then pull it back, quote unquote, but you've moved the goalpost. And now instead of it just being about like, no, yeah, no, there's no disc. It's like, okay, well, at least we have some disc. I'd be willing to pay however many dollars more for the disc edition. And it's just like, it's just, it's a bunch of bullshit. It, it actually isn't.

• 52:34Speaker 03

  EA is doing something similar with, um, microtransactions and, uh, Madden 20 or NCAA football. I think it was Madden, Madden 27. There, there's like a, so you can play like their card collecting edition where you go, you buy online packs and you get cards for their ultimate team. And that was always like, you could spend real money to do, but then they've had like online on offline dynasty and then road to glory where you make like a single player and you only play as that player on the thing. In 27, they added microtransactions for those where you can speed up progress. Or you can make it to where you earn more experience, features that were actually just deep by default in the game last year and years prior.

• 53:08Speaker 04

  Yeah. Weren't those just settings previously in large part?

• 53:11Speaker 03

  Now, now you can slow it down or make it normal, but in order to speed it up, you have to pay for their microtransactions. So a lot of the, the football content creators have like united and they're all like making videos about how they're protesting. They won't work with EA directly anymore. They're refusing sponsorships and stuff because they're pissed off about that. Yeah. Cause they feel like they were misled. And then apparently EA let out a statement like, hey, we're rolling this back. We're going to take it out of the game. And then I think, I think that that was also apparently a mislead where they were like, well, we're going to change it, but it's still, there's still going to be some transactions. The whole thing seems like a fucking nightmare, but it's one other one of those things like Mark was saying with the, we're going to make it outrageous. And then whenever we actually get to what we really want, you guys are going to accept it because it feels like a good compromise.

• 53:52Speaker 05

  Until we get to the point where people can push a button and materialize whatever they want, like Star Trek, you know? I don't think we're ever going to get away from corporate greed.

• 54:02Speaker 04

  It turns out it's really hard to make infinitely increasing profits without somebody really getting fucked. It also turns out that the ones who are responsible for making the infinitely increasing profits get to choose who that is. Almost like there's a flaw inherent to that setup.

• 54:17Speaker 05

  Just wait till they, they discover this concept where the money isn't actually a real thing and value is inherent to like how much it's worth. And it only works when it circulates. So all these goddamn gold hoarding dragons are actually hurting everything by not having the money flow back into the fight. The only way it works, the three Stooges things where you owe me 10, I was 10, you owe me 10, 10. That's how it works. That's the actual fundamental value of how it works. Everyone made money. Everyone paid everyone back. Everyone, that, that is how the system works, but if there's just a money trap occurring at the bottom of it, it doesn't fucking work. The system will break.

• 54:56Speaker 03

  It's getting a little rickety. All right. Let's move into a couple of quick positives and then we'll all wrap up. Have you guys heard of Spogomi?

• 55:02Speaker 04

  Nope.

• 55:02Speaker 05

  This better be a Chef Boyardee new invention or I'm out of here. I want to eat Spogomi so bad. I already have it in my head.

• 55:10Speaker 03

  Uh, apparently there was, uh, I don't remember where this took place at. The, the city was called Lothborough, L O U G H B O R O U G H.

• 55:18Speaker 05

  Oh my God, wait, no, hold on. Wait, pause. I've got the visual. Please don't ruin this for me. It's, it's like little raviolis, but they look like cannolis with little sausage inside and a little roll and it's a can full of them, just like Chef Boyardee Spogomis.

• 55:32Speaker 03

  I'm going to ruin this for you in just a moment.

• 55:34Speaker 05

  Oh no, no, no.

• 55:36Speaker 04

  Dude, I can't wait for the Super Mario Spogomis to come out.

• 55:39Speaker 03

  There was a competition for different groups in Lothborough. I think it's pronounced Lothborough, uh, to collect litter. So I think Gomi, I don't know, not sure what's language, but Gomi is like litter and it's Spoh is sports, so it's sport litter. So different groups went around like collecting litter in this town and whoever collected the most won. And that was like the competition. And I think the winning team collected like 28 kilograms of litter, but overall in one afternoon, 281 kilograms of litter were just cleared from this place. I, I don't know what the prizes and stuff were, but apparently like it was good. It was enjoyable. It was really good for the environment and stuff. And so that might be like a thing that's spreading around as these like Spogomi competition type thing, but like.

• 56:18Speaker 04

  I'm seeing that this is Japanese, that the word, the word for trash in Japanese is Gomi and Spoh is like sport.

• 56:25Speaker 03

  I'm not sure where Lothborough is. I don't think that's in Japan. Lothborough sounds more like.

• 56:28Speaker 04

  Well, what I'm seeing is that this has been taking off and they have a Spogomi World Cup held in Japan that has qualifying teams from around the world. So.

• 56:38Speaker 03

  Yeah, I, I saw the one in Lothborough and that's, that's where I got, came up with it, but, uh, I did see that it was like apparently becoming more popular and kind of going global. I didn't see their exact origin, but that's the one I heard about. I thought that was a positive. 2026 people getting rid of more litter seems like a good thing.

• 56:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, well, as long as this isn't a thing where it's like, okay, we put out litter so that it's a fair playing field. So we, we covered this whole area in equally spread out, completely fair.

• 57:03Speaker 03

  This is not a Mr. Beast video, I hope. I dropped 10 tons of litter. Now watch as 500 contestants compete for $10 million to clean it up.

• 57:13Speaker 04

  We bought 50 sea turtles and a hundred tons of plastics. Last sea turtle standing wins $3 million and this Ford Fiesta.

• 57:25Speaker 03

  Like the turkey pardoning, but Mr. Beast sea turtle of it, allegedly.

• 57:31Speaker 03

  Well, it doesn't exist. I hope we're not giving him an idea.

• 57:34Speaker 05

  Oh yeah, he watches this podcast.

• 57:38Speaker 03

  Where's inspiration? Another one, I think this was this year. Artemis two was this year, right? Going like further than humans had ever gone in space.

• 57:45Speaker 04

  It was. I don't, I'm not an expert, uh, but I believe the whole, once, once they were done with their launch and corrections, I believe they had no, no thrust input. It was a fully gravity maneuver to get all the way out around the moon and back, which is pretty sick. I'm sure that any rocket scientist is like, it's not that sick. It's pretty easy. Actually, it's just calculations, but it's very cool.

• 58:07Speaker 03

  I know Mark, you're not a big fan of the moon, but like overall, I think you like space.

• 58:11Speaker 04

  Maybe they flicked it off when they went by.

• 58:13Speaker 05

  I love the moon, guys.

• 58:14Speaker 04

  Wait, we jumped timelines. Wait, it's all different here.

• 58:16Speaker 05

  No, I've always liked the moon. No, no, no, no, no. I've always liked the moon and I like, I like, I like not having ownership of the moon. But no one should own the moon. No one owns the moon. No one owns the moon.

• 58:28Speaker 03

  I can't do that. I'll break my audio setup. I, I'd pound with you, but I can't.

• 58:32Speaker 04

  I'm sorry. I, I have a strict no chanting rule, just in general.

• 58:35Speaker 05

  I've, there's like the fifth chant. No one's joined me on the chat and no one owns the moon.

• 58:43Speaker 04

  Fifth chant today?

• 58:45Speaker 05

  Just in a row, you know, for any, all right, here we go. I'll count it down, guys. Three, two, one. No.

• 58:53Speaker 04

  No one owns the moon. Is that what you wanted?

• 59:00Speaker 03

  I had a bit more here, but we are getting a little low on time because we do have a thing we gotta do. So I'm going to wrap there. I'll do points and we'll do the wheels. I went through some of my topics. That was good. I had a topic for today. I had a topic.

• 59:12Speaker 04

  Sure, sure. Yeah.

• 59:13Speaker 03

  You guys think Wade just knows Spagomi? I didn't know Spagomi. I had to look up Spagomi.

• 59:18Speaker 04

  I am kind of with Mark. I'm a little disappointed. It's not a thing I could eat.

• 59:21Speaker 03

  As of right now, Mark, you lost the point for being mean about me getting a sponsor. You got a point for we all GoPro. You got a point for breathing water reflex. I found that funny. You got a point for us turning into Pauls. We're all Pauls, apparently. The Jake Paul, Logan Paul thing. Uh, oh, privacy gone scalpers two point. Uh, Bob said you were right at one point, but multiple times Bob said you were right. So you got a point for that.

• 59:46Speaker 04

  He was very right today.

• 59:48Speaker 03

  You like the moon point and the moon chant point. You got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight points minus one. So you got seven points right now. Bob, you got a point for your foot being bad. Oh, you got three hospital pity points.

• 1:00:00Speaker 04

  All right.

• 1:00:01Speaker 03

  You're gonna, that might, that's gonna, I forgot that there were three points for it there. Uh, you got a point for being my Pokemon boy because you're also collecting like me. That made me happy. I don't, I don't get to relate with you guys very often with the different hobbies we have. So it's exciting. I got one. I got one. It's a little guppy. I got one.

• 1:00:15Speaker 05

  You don't even like Ryobi days? I feel like you were also appreciative of Ryobi days.

• 1:00:19Speaker 04

  Ryobi days is what's up. I love Ryobi days.

• 1:00:22Speaker 03

  I enjoyed your guys' love of Ryobi days. I've never bought a Ryobi days thing.

• 1:00:26Speaker 05

  Oh.

• 1:00:27Speaker 04

  Are you, wait, wait, are you invested in a battery system as far as power tools go? Or are you, are you still on the market? Are you still like a free agent kind of thing?

• 1:00:36Speaker 03

  Are you asking me?

• 1:00:37Speaker 04

  Yes. I know Mark has.

• 1:00:40Speaker 03

  I, I have like a screwdriver and a hammer.

• 1:00:43Speaker 05

  Okay. So you're open. You're open.

• 1:00:45Speaker 04

  So he, so you need to get Ryobi then. You needed to be a one plus boy.

• 1:00:50Speaker 05

  It is still Ryobi days right now. You still can get Ryobi days.

• 1:00:54Speaker 03

  There aren't many days where I find that I need a power tool.

• 1:00:58Speaker 04

  The more power tools you have, the more times you'll find that you need them. I guarantee it.

• 1:01:02Speaker 03

  I gotta replace a couple of lights, I guess, like, but do I need a tool for that? I just.

• 1:01:07Speaker 05

  Yeah. Why do it by hand?

• 1:01:08Speaker 04

  Even if you're not going to use it, just bring it and set it next to you and it'll make everything go a little more smoothly.

• 1:01:13Speaker 03

  You got a point for too much ass. Concert game? No, because of the scalpers. You got the companies use data for good point. Uh, sports flopping bad point. Uh, talking about how we own temporary licenses and explaining how that worked versus us owning real games and actual copies point. Uh, and explaining the science behind Artemis point. So you got a total of one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, plus two more for the hospital pity. So you have 10 points right now. So it's 10 to seven.

• 1:01:42Speaker 05

  All right. All right. Come on. Witness protection. Come on. Three witness protection points.

• 1:01:47Speaker 03

  We need number, number of wheel spins.

• 1:01:50Speaker 04

  Today will be the day it will give us one spin because of course it will.

• 1:01:55Speaker 05

  Oh, damn.

• 1:01:57Speaker 03

  All right. Two spins.

• 1:01:58Speaker 04

  You got, you got two shots to find some magic. It's certainly not off the table. Wade, what are we adding?

• 1:02:03Speaker 03

  Uh, this is gonna be the Oprah Winfrey point. You don't have to write Oprah Winfrey, but this is the everybody gets a point. If you currently have your, a score, you get a point.

• 1:02:11Speaker 05

  Interesting, but only if they have a score.

• 1:02:14Speaker 03

  Only if you already have a score on here.

• 1:02:15Speaker 05

  This way, everybody in the world doesn't get a point because that would, that would make the spreadsheet very hard.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  Yeah. If you're, if you're on the list, you get a point.

• 1:02:22Speaker 04

  There. Everyone who currently has any points gets a point.

• 1:02:25Speaker 03

  So be careful. If we talk about like Hitler, don't actually give like Hitler negative points for sucking because this might give him a point. And then reverse golf rules and stuff. It'd be like, ah, it'd be awkward.

• 1:02:33Speaker 05

  Yeah. A posthumous Hitler win would be, uh, crazy for this podcast.

• 1:02:38Speaker 04

  That would, that would be shocking.

• 1:02:40Speaker 03

  We would blow up on social media. It's like Hitler just won a podcast episode. You guys are very distracted.

• 1:02:48Speaker 04

  Uh, there's 117 things.

• 1:02:51Speaker 03

  Even maximized on my monitor. It's hard to read these damn slices.

• 1:02:55Speaker 04

  I have it on a huge monitor and I still can't really read it. Stuff.

• 1:03:00Speaker 05

  Uh, GoPro.

• 1:03:01Speaker 04

  Why couldn't I think of things then? I know so many things Mark likes.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  I was trying. I was like, wait, I'm not competing. I'm not, this is not for me to compete for once.

• 1:03:09Speaker 05

  I, I, it took me a second to even realize that was something that was a quick.

• 1:03:14Speaker 04

  I overcommitted and could not remember chicken and dumplings. That's what I was trying to get out. And my brain was like, duh, dumpling, pot stickers, uh, soup dumplings.

• 1:03:23Speaker 05

  My luck, I would have said something that first came to mind. It would have been something I don't like. But all right.

• 1:03:29Speaker 03

  Thankfully you had time to think of something you like.

• 1:03:32Speaker 04

  As long as Mark doesn't get like more than two points, nothing bad can happen to me.

• 1:03:39Speaker 03

  We'll find out.

• 1:03:40Speaker 04

  Hey.

• 1:03:42Speaker 05

  Damn.

• 1:03:44Speaker 04

  That would be me, even with my messed up foot.

• 1:03:47Speaker 03

  Bob, you win. Would you like to give us a winner's speech?

• 1:03:50Speaker 04

  Uh, yeah, it feels, it feels like it's been a minute since I won, but because I know how many times I have won so far this season, I know that's really not true. It's just because we, uh, really do want a week now. So it's just more time in between, you know? So it's good. So it feels good to win. Always does. I do it a lot. I've been here before, so I'm gonna act like I've been here before. Uh, Mark put up a good fight and I basically cheated by getting hospitalized and having an infection that, uh, threatened both my life and my foot. I'm not gonna not take points for that. So, you know.

• 1:04:24Speaker 03

  I think trips to the hospital do typically earn points. So.

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  I lived.

• 1:04:28Speaker 03

  Mark, you get the silver medal today.

• 1:04:31Speaker 05

  I was really banking on that witness protection thing. I put all of my eggs in that basket. I set up this entire new area just so I could have that. Um, you can even see the dolly still there with things loaded on there that haven't even. I might as well just pack it all up and, uh, I think I, it's best if I just announce my retirement from the podcast at this point. In shame. How do you, with prejudice, which way?

• 1:04:54Speaker 04

  Disgracefully discharged.

• 1:04:56Speaker 05

  Yeah, yeah. Disgracefully discharged.

• 1:04:59Speaker 03

  All right. Well, congrats on that. And I look forward to, to being gone, I guess. Uh, can't wait.

• 1:05:05Speaker 05

  Yeah, okay, I get it.

• 1:05:07Speaker 03

  Be really awkward whenever there's one host and one competitor. I don't know how that's gonna work, but you know, as they say, the show must go on. But contractually, I'll have to see you next week because I think you're here for at least the next 10 lifetimes, according to our deal. That we don't get paid for. Just our, it's just our deal, our group deal.

• 1:05:21Speaker 04

  This is more like our deal with the devil type deal, not our like business deal. It's different.

• 1:05:26Speaker 03

  All right. Well, congrats again, Bob. Bob will host next week, uh, where I'm sure something will happen probably. That's the way these episodes work. In the meantime, go follow these guys, Mark at Markplier, Bob at, someone said Bob Applier, Bob at My Skirm, Minion 77, or Lord Minion 777.

• 1:05:39Speaker 04

  I should have been Bob Applier. You're right.

• 1:05:42Speaker 03

  Keep adding to the bounties, which all three of us are equally participating and working on. And we'll see you next time. Until then, podcast out.

• 1:05:55Speaker 00

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