Distractible
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Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, booming Bob couldn't fly, gets a GoPro, tastes ass, and goes into the long and short of things. Weirdling Wade looms in limos, flips himself off, gets hammered, then abuses Red Hot and duct tape. Modest Mark talks bathroom magic, advising Apple, capturing crap coverage, and blasting bamboo. From hyping hairlessness to expunging Wade. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's time for Doing Too Much.
Now, sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Distractible, the most hype, the most handsome, the most hairless podcast you're gonna find anywhere online. I was trying to, I could be handsome, or could be hype.
Wait, do I have to be hairless?
Pretty much, yeah. I guarantee I have more hair than you on every part of my body that has hair. Plus, I have hair where you don't.
The esophagus? I guess if we're counting body hair, I am quite a hairless individual. Mark up top, mole rat below.
Why did I introduce this podcast that way? Couldn't fucking tell ya. Anyway, Wade's bald, welcome to Distractible. This is the show where, uh, the points are like apples to your doctor. They matter as much as you think they do, but your doctor doesn't really give a shit if you eat apples, you still have to go see him. I tried that. I told my doctor I was eating like three apples a day, still made me come in, didn't matter. Said I needed... Medicine. Anyway, if you've never seen the show before, this is a great warm-up for what you can expect for the entire time. Uh, it's an improvised show. I have a topic, we might not even get to it, it really depends how things go today. We poured our hearts out last time, so I'm sure we'll get to the game today.
Sure, it'll be fine. Uh, but I'm the host Bob because I won the last one, and I only am Bob because I won. If I had lost, I'd be somebody else. I'm joined, as always, by my two competitors slash co-hosts Mark and Wade. Hello. Hey, hey, hey. It feels like it's been like a month and a half to me. The amount of shit that happened since the last time we were here doing this, which was only one week ago, is crazy to me. Do you guys know that five hours after we hung up the last recording session, I was doubled over a toilet vomiting so hard that I was pulling muscles on my ribs?
No, I thought you were in a plane. I kind of suspected that.
Actually, yeah, Mark didn't know that because we were, yeah, no, I didn't, didn't go, didn't end up going to England. Was supposed to go to England, didn't happen. Crazy.
Wait, neither one of you made it to England?
Nobody made it to England.
No one made it.
Is anyone in England? England, are you there?
It wasn't just us. Nobody could go to England because their whole government system to get travel visas exploded. I don't know. I don't know what happened. It just stopped existing for a while.
But you were sick, which is different than the problem I was having.
I haven't been that sick in such a long time. Last time I was like, oh, James was sick. It was so bad. I don't even care he was sick anymore. God, I was sick. It's awful. Me. If you don't laugh, it's really awkward, guys.
Sam, take a laugh from another episode. Put it here.
I just have, uh, it's been a hell of a week. How are you guys doing?
Well, to echo on that, I also was supposed to be in law. I've got a lot of small talk to talk. It was also one of the most eventful weeks of my entire existence. Um, I think all three of us could probably agree this past week has been loaded with all kinds of incredible, horrifying things happening.
Mine was pretty on par with normal.
So, um, I don't know if we all three could agree, but it sounds like you two really.
I know one thing that happened to all three of us that we can all be excited about.
All bought it.
Wait, what? Wait, is that the ILM one?
No, it's a 3D printed.
No, wait, no, and you, I know you bought, they sent this to me with a handwritten note that said, hey, distractible. Thanks so much for being so hyped up about GoPro and our new products. And we thought we'd send you guys.
They sent us one camera and by us they meant you?
I assumed they sent it to each of us, like we, I am not distractible. The, it was, we are, the three of us are distractible.
Not anymore. Apparently you are Mr. Distractible.
Cause I knew Mark had bought one. So I thought like, oh, well, he's not going to be, you know, he's not going to be like hyped as I am about that. But yeah, they, they sent the, and they sent the, the, the cage that goes with it. It's pretty nothing. You got, never mind. I mean, nothing happened to all three of us this week. We all had very different experiences.
Did they actually? Did they actually?
Yes. Honest to God. A package showed up and it was addressed to Distractible. And I was like, huh, that's weird. Cause we haven't had any sponsors lately. Previously, when we had lots of sponsors on the show, we would occasionally just get boxes that were like, here's a year's supply of gummies for some reason. You're going to do a sponsorship for, but this, it was, it was a very nice note. That was like, ah, you, you guys are such good fans. We love you, Distractible. Here's, here's the new, here's that camera you were talking about so much. It goes, shoot your movies with it.
Do they think they're funny? Do they think they're funny? I think they're funny. I was sad till I realized Mark didn't get one too. Now I feel a lot better. Did they? I have one. I have actually multiple, because I've bought multiple of them. If Wade didn't, if Wade didn't get one, I'm happier.
I didn't get one, so you can be happier.
I didn't realize I was so important. I didn't realize I was the figurehead of this show. I represent all of Distractible. Look, you know, you, Mark, I'm sure that they meant to send it to you. And there was just some mix up because they were like, oh, Mark's big Cincinnati guy. He must be one of, he must be the Cincinnati address and.
We all live in the same house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, it's, it's.
Bean house.
It's gonna be an honest mistake, right? Cause you, you talk to somebody, I thought, or?
I have been, I have been, you know, I, I have been.
Well, they definitely don't have Mark's address from the purchase he actually made through them to get one. So yeah, odds are very easy mistake.
I'm not even completely clear how they got my address. I've never worked with GoPro ever directly.
They work in tech. They have all of our addresses. They know us.
I was just asked chat GPT, like, where does Bob live?
And where does distractible live? And your address came up.
I bet yours is in the mail. I mean, this came almost a week ago, but
while I was sick, the day after we recorded last, I think this showed up. So it's been here for a while. Been using it for trains. James, James likes me to film his trains, you know? So that's pretty important.
Mark's like on the edge of a volcano, like, man, I really hope I can film this with my new camera. Bob's like, I have this little Fisher Price train set.
It's a Brio train. It's a Brio train with custom 3D printed accessories. Okay, this is calm down.
I'm just, I'm just going to see if there's a distractible code that works on this site. Cause that would be fucking funny.
Mark is going into chat GPT to change the distractible address.
Well, you've been using it, so I can, I can tell you, you were right on, Mark. It's a great camera, probably the nicest camera I actually own. Well, it's old, but I do have a Sony A7 R2. So that's probably, but that's not fair because this is like one, one tenth the size of that thing.
I will say, uh, it's very good.
Maybe not that good.
Maybe it's not that good.
Why'd your voice crack during that? Are you okay?
Just shut the fuck up.
Doing an anti pitch now.
I, I actually, okay, I was at Apple for the event and I, I felt afraid to pull this out of my pocket. Cause you know, them and their phones, they're all like, you're talking. I was talking to the, um, the, this is a whole other, I'm jumping into the middle of my, I went to Apple, small talk portion of this, but I was talking to the.
We gotta get other MS Paint saga.
No, it was the lead photo esthetician.
Esthetician?
Aesthetic person, the lead, the person who's in charge of defining the aesthetics of photos. Uh, and so I, I was talking to them about like, it was like, oh yeah, what do you use? It was like, oh, in the movie, you know, we use Reds for my main YouTube. We got like an A7 S3, uh, and I have a Nikon ZR and then I have a GoPro. Then they're like, how, how do you, how do you match all your stuff? It's like, well, you know, I go, when do you use your phone? And I'm like, I use my phone. I use, I use my phone. I, I use it.
But they all have to say like, iPhone 17 Pro Max.
I, I legitimately had a great time at the Apple trip and I didn't mean to do it, but I was like, yeah, I use my phone. And I pulled this out and then I pulled out this monstrosity next to it. I was like, and then I got this in my other pocket. It's like, what, what is that? It's like, oh, I 3D printed this, this, uh, little macro thing. It was made by, uh,
What kind of camera do you keep in your front pocket?
And I could just see like the color drain from her face. Oh God, I'm saying, I, oh, oh, no, wait.
Hey, look, uh, episodes of, an episode of this podcast was filmed on iPhones. iPhone, Mark's iPhone.
Can I tell you why I was invited?
Well, we now know why you won't be invited back, but yeah, sure.
No, no, iPhones, I swear.
I have to shout out the, uh, the subreddit, uh, Home Lab. Because legitimately, the reason I was invited is because Apple heard that I had 54 Mac Studios in my bathroom.
And they legitimately told me, yeah, no one's ever done that before. And so I got an invite and I got to talk. I shook hands, I shook hands with Tim Cook himself.
Mr. Tim Apple.
I showed him the picture of my bathroom and he said,
That makes my heart sing.
And I legitimately was like, that is most, I almost wept. I was just like, oh, oh my God, so nice. Oh my God, I just put it in the bathroom. I met John Turnus. I, I shook hands with him. I showed him the picture of it and he went, wow.
Wow, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Mark's like, I went to Apple because I had a bunch of computers in my bathroom.
Yeah, that is actually the reason.
Did you tell them about your Capri Sun hack?
You know, it didn't come up.
Did you tell them the next they should make it an adapter? So it's like a free sun holder, heat sink situation.
Mark pulls out his phone, he pulls out his GoPro, he pulls out a Capri Sun. He's like, guys, I have the next big thing for you.
I think that BTUs are an outdated way to measure thermal capacity. I think it should be Capri Suns, you know? I had a whole thing where I was gonna say like, it was such a wonderful experience, which it was. I'm not saying I wasn't gonna say, oh, fuck, oh, God.
I was gonna lie, say it was a great time.
It was such a wonderful experience. I, the, the entire architecture of the, the Apple One campus is mind blowing.
It looks fake, like it looks like a, like a weird VR background when they do, cause they do walk and talks in front of it and stuff. And I'm always kind of like, is that the really the thing? Or is that like a weird rendered, cause that looks ridiculous. It does, it looks insane.
It's real, it's legitimate. It, every single inch of it has like this polish to it. And, and it's every, like, there's so much glass. I don't know how they made all the windows. I don't know how they did it. They have the largest moving glass doors in the world. Cause and it takes seven minutes for them to open and they calculate it specifically of when they can maximize the temperature exchange. And it's, it's, it's a marvel of engineering. That, that, that building is actually legitimately incredible. And I said to them, like, oh, I get it. Like it's, you want your employees to be inspired, but aren't you worried that they'll just kind of like wander in the park and never come back?
Because the entire interior courtyard is like 80 acres of just like lovely landscaping with trees and gardens and fruit on art. There's orchards there that they use to, to, to make jam for their own cafeterias. And it's like,
Is it all apple jam?
No, they have apples, they have fig, but that's, that's funny. That's funny right there. It's, it legitimately, it's great. So I, I, I'm really painting it in a bad light. My trip was wonderful.
Yeah. The missing employees wall is a little concerning of people that wandered into the park and never returned.
Well, that's at night. If they hear, see pieces of paper on trees and they go out into the woods and hear a thumping in the background, you know? You know, you shouldn't go out there then and there. But I felt afraid because I kept, I didn't, you know, I didn't film with my iPhone there. I was kept like.
I, I don't know if you were in like a separate thing, but isn't everyone there filming with like their big, their camera cameras? It's not like every, all, cause like, uh, and KPHD goes and stuff and they, he has some.
Yeah.
Fucking AK cinema thing.
It's a really big iPhone.
It's, it's just an iPhone with like so many attachments is like. Yeah, this is an iPhone 17 Pro Max.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.
Capture on iPhone. Yeah.
I, I wasn't with them. I was in a separate group. Yeah. I was in.
The red carpet.
No, no, it was special. No, it was good. I was special. I was special. When you were done, did you, did you call, did you call the guy who got you hooked up and be like, ah, yeah, I almost went to the main part. I was somewhere else. He's like. Ah, it would have been great if you'd have been to the, ah, I wish, ah, did you take any pictures? No, you wouldn't get your camera out? Oh, okay. Good. Good. Okay. Good. Good. Good. I'm glad we called that favor in.
I swear, I was in the special group. I was. Sure, buddy.
It was so special. I had such a good time.
They showed you the missing person area. They showed you their phone.
They showed you some apples and other fruits.
They gave you a Capri Sun. They looked at your photo like, that's a good photo.
That homelab Reddit post is so good though. Like I, I found that organically. I mean, I'm, can I, I'm connected to a bunch of you shit. So it's, wasn't that organic, but. It's the, the discussion on that original post on Reddit was very funny because there were so many people who didn't understand the context at all and were like. Why the fuck would you need any of this? Like.
Yeah, yeah.
What is this for?
It was really cool to talk to them about why I did the Max 3 because number one, it's in a bathroom. So it's like, I can only put so many air conditioners in there before the air conditioner insulation guy will report me to somebody. And I, I feel like there was an aha moment with that. And it was so cool. I was talking, I was in this group with someone from ILM, which is like Lucasfilm, who does a lot of the VFX for all the biggest movies you could imagine. And so I was able to talk about Houdini with this guy. Cause like, that was one of his specialties is like, well, I mean, he uses all of the softwares, but he also knows Houdini and has used it for a long time and talking about like,
yeah, I was using it for like tops and it was perfect for the artist to be able to kick out little tasks to all the studios. And a lot of people think it was overkill, but it's not overkill right now because right now there's like a run on Max Studios and the price of them is actually more than I originally paid for them. So it's like, I could, I could turn a profit on just the thing. It's like, so that was actually part of it because I knew.
Used Max Studio, location, my bathroom.
Sold as is, not poopy.
Bathroom pickup only. I will be on toilet when you arrive. Don't look.
Here's a photo of the Max Studios. There's just the arrow pointing to each one in that one photo. Like, here's the one you're getting.
Yeah, one listing, just each one's, yeah, that's very funny. So it was, but I, I was able to talk to, you know, some people at Apple specifically about that because they were very curious because it was like a niche use case and they really like to hear about niche use cases. And so I didn't mention Glabber Salts at all.
That was probably good.
I mentioned how I stacked them like upside down like that and I, okay, I might've embarrassed. I referenced how when I was at Perkins as a kid, I would take the little creamer cups.
And stack them lid to lid.
Dude, I would kill for Perkins right now.
Lid to bottom, bottom to lid like that. And I told them like, if you put a thermal sheet in between them, because it's a big block of aluminum, my theory was they could kind of share with each other because they're a big thermal block and kind of if one's running and the other's not, it can act as a heat sink. And at worst, they could, you know, fit together better and, you know, they were really, they actually listened to me. So, ha, take that everyone at Home Lab. I went to Apple.
I have an Apple shirt. I met the owner of Apple and I told him how I used to stack coffee creamers. Not the summary. That is not. And then he looked at a picture on my phone and said, wow. That is a misrepresentation of my story.
Just the whole time it's feral, feral mid-episode of Distractible Mark wandering around like, you know, coffee creamers, right? You've seen coffee creamers?
You can stack them. I thought laptops are like coffee creamers.
It's not even a laptop.
You just get the Capri Sun and you put in the middle of them.
He doesn't know what he's saying. Don't listen to him.
Actually, if I probably did use, used Capri Sun packets in between them, that would have been even funnier. Like I stack one, drink a Capri Sun, put it down, stack one other.
You wait till you smash it in the middle and you.
You set to get it out of there. It's just, I don't drink through the straw. I slam it between two Mac Studios and open my mouth.
So I said in the bathroom, you stacked them in the tub and then you just, and the tub collects the Capri Suns. And then you have like a whole tub of Capri Suns.
This is end game Mark behavior is just like, I don't know what to do with all my movie money. Let me just slam the.
If you guys zoom in on the picture, you'll see all the straw still in the wrapper on the floor of the bathroom.
I, I hope at worst, they got a good laugh out of me showing them the picture, but you know, I think when, you know, when Tim Cook retires, uh, he looks back on his long history at Apple and remembers my picture.
His last words, he's like, don't let Mark own this company.
Why would he say that?
Because the last thing he thinks of is that picture.
Your takeaway is that Tim Cook hates Mark now and is dying soon?
The hell, that's a rumor. I guess we could start.
Don't. I'm never gonna be invited again. You ruined all of my sponsorships forever and forever.
Whoops.
Well, that sounds fun. And I honestly, not that I have any reason to go to any of those, but I am pretty jealous. Cause that that's just one of those things where it's like, I just would like to go see, you know? Like the, the Apple campus seems cool. The event seems super cool. The, it's like, it's, I mean, they have tons of people there, but it's pretty exclusive. You get like a cool like swag bag and they give you like, it's just all kinds of really cool stuff. That's very fun. Very jealous.
It's, it's awesome. Like no joke, whatever you think about the company, it that if you were to work anywhere, I'd be like, man, I could quit YouTube and work here. This is fucking awesome. This would be amazing.
You could be their bathroom guy. I'll be the bathroom guy.
Oh, Mark, we have some issue in this bathroom. It seems like all the toilets have been ripped out and replaced with Capri Sun dispensers.
Just keep building servers in their bathroom.
I know what you're being, you guys aren't doing it right.
Uh, why don't we get a P O for what's listed as 600 bathroom iPhones? Like, oh, I'm working on something. Uh, it's, you know, dispersed computing. Uh, it's complicated. I'll let you guys know how it works out. Don't go in the bathroom on the east wing for a while. Well, it's a donut. So how did, don't go in the bathroom on the left. Don't, uh, how would, how do you describe which way a donut is?
One, one through eight. It's like they have numbers, sections, one through eight and everything inside it is sub numbered. Yeah.
Whatever you do, stay out of the jelly. Stay out of the jelly. I could go for it. I want Perkins. I want a donut. I want all this stuff.
Is Perkins still in business?
Yeah, they still exist. I can't think of the closest one to where we live, but I, I know I've seen one pretty recently.
Everyone out there, go to a Perkins right now. Let's go support Perkins and keep them around.
Uh, there's one in Fairfield. There's one in, uh, in Cincinnati, it says.
Cincinnati. I know that place.
Great episode. I'm gonna go get some Perkins.
Well, you didn't even do your small talk. Mark had a couple, Mark had a couple thing, or did you do small talk?
I haven't even, I haven't even finished my small talk. I've got.
Oh, Mark's not even done. Shut up, Wade.
Oh no, go please.
No, no, man. How could I live up to it?
Mark's life is so fascinating. I want to hear about it.
I went to Gear Expo. Oh, sorry, Ciné Gear Expo. I don't know why I call it Gear Expo.
Oh, skinny gear. Yeah, skinny gear. It's for skinny guys.
It's like N A B and it's for, you know, cinema equipment manufacturers. It's, it was really cool. It was on the Universal lot. And I don't, I guess they didn't anticipate anyone would be driving a truck into this. Because I go into the parking garage and I get there and I see a bar that says six, six. And if I look up what the height of, of an F-150 Lightning is.
It's probably just about six, six.
Six, five. So.
Hope there's no bump.
Yeah, that's a really accurate and consistent six, six.
So I get in there and my antenna goes off of the bar. And I'm, me and Sam, Sam is actually in the truck with me. He was on this journey so he could attest. We're looking up at the sunroof, watching this pillar pass within like a hair's breadth. And I'm like, hope this road is perfectly smooth and doesn't bump us up at all. Cause it was like that. And then we get in there and no one stops us until we're already in. It's like, oh, whoa. As we're about to go through, so I'm like, I figured as much. So I'm doing a 20 point, like Austin Powers turn. And I drive out, I get to the outside. I'm just like, hey, you have any parking for like big vehicles?
I'm a big vehicle right here. And they're like, oh, no, no, sorry. You'll have to go across the street. And I'm like, okay, that's fine. I, I have to make a right out here and then make a U-turn up ahead. But I see another sign that's like Ciné Gear Parking right here. And it's another parking garage. And I, I'm like, oh, fuck it. I'll risk it. I go over there. Hey, do you, what's, what's the clearance in there? And they're like, oh, nine feet. They lied to me. They said there was no big vehicle parking. Anyway, I parked. That's my story.
Nice, nice.
That's it. I harassed the people at the GoPro booth. That's what else you want to know about?
Far we follow that our small talk is, guys, I got to park my truck.
And I found a place to park. LA, everyone.
Shut up. I talked to the GoPro people. I showed them this and they were like, I said, I have a 3D printed thing.
That must be why they sent us one.
Yeah, us. They're like, let's send Bob something. We'll use it responsibly.
I filmed stuff while I was, I'm the worst YouTuber in the world. I filmed stuff while I was there and I, I import all my footage. And all I have is this pointed at the ground while I'm having a stupid conversation, a nine second clip. A six second clip of me in the bus with here going
into the camera. I'll send Sam the clip of that because it's not like, that's actually what I got.
And then there's like a out the bus window, kind of horribly reflections thing. It's like, I think I know why they don't send it because there's no way I could ever actually show what this thing could do.
It was like footage from my first ever PAX vlog.
I forgot to film anything while I was there.
Well, thank God you had your GoPro.
So Sinigures, it was really good. This thing is so good. Please.
Can I ask why they built a parking garage that can't hold any vehicles?
I mean, trucks are pretty tall. How, how tall do you think most vehicles are?
Well, I feel like if you're going to build a parking garage, you'd want it to hold more than cars.
My car is a full, is a full-size SUV, but it, it's like six, two or something like it's, it's big, but most cars are, are under six, six, unless it's a truck.
Yeah, the F-150 Lightning is particularly large.
Like all the Honda CRVs in the world, all the minivans, all the, all the big vehicles that just aren't trucks all fit in there pretty much.
When you get a car, Wade, you'll understand.
Yeah, we'll teach you about it.
Probably be.
I mean, I barely have clearance in that garage. I feel like I'd want it to be taller.
It's good. You get to sit down and I don't know if he knows, Mark, you get to sit in cars. Car, you don't stand on top of a car. You sit down in it. So the height of the car.
You got the Spirit Airlines standing seats in your car for your, your tall. It's like a Segway car.
I only know those limousines where you stand sitting out the middle, popping champagne and screaming with your arms in the air. That's how I go around.
He stands sitting out the middle. He really doesn't know cars.
Oh, well, you must be done now, Mark. You can't possibly have had other stuff happen.
I parked my truck. I went to Apple. Man, people really shouldn't invite me to things.
Come on, man. You're such a, you're such a fun, fun person with fun things. And you've got all that footage recorded we get to see.
I, yeah. You were going to have had such a full week. I'm glad it all panned out.
I did, I did. I got footage while I was at Apple. I did. I got footage. I got some stuff while I was at Gear. But it's, I, I don't want to come across as incompetent because then.
Were you in the secret room where they showed you the unreleased hardware? And can you tell us about it? You want to be a leaker?
I, I wasn't. Is that something that?
Leak us, Mark.
Oh, every important person they invite there gets to go to that room. Yeah.
Wait, hold on. They have a secret room. Wait, what do you mean? They have that room? Oh, yes, I saw that room. Oh, I'm gonna leak everything. It was, oh, they got, they got everything in there. It's so cool. I was in the special group.
He's in the group called Paid Guided Tour.
I don't know. I just have this extensive vision of you talking to the, to the photo aesthetic person and you pull your GoPro and then you're just frantically like, I, I, I, I never used that. I don't even know how that got in there. I, I, I have a Vision Pro. I, look, listen, I have, I have, like, oh yeah, how'd you like the latest update? Oh, well.
My dog borrowed it, so, uh.
Chick is addicted to it. No, that it's addictive. I mean, it's so fun, but, uh.
And I got to meet Tom Cook. It said no relation under. I don't know what that meant, but Tom was a real nice guy.
I don't know if you're making fun of me or if you actually think his name is Tom.
No, no, I'm saying his name is, I, I'm making fun of both. Yes.
You met the wrong person. It's funny.
See, this is the thing, Wade. You shoot yourself in the foot when people don't know if you're making a joke, or if you just actually can't remember a person's name.
It's okay, because I still find it funny, and no one matters more to me than me when it comes to humor. If I make me laugh, I'm happy.
Isn't that the truth? So does Wade get to talk now, or do you?
Yeah, now my small talk is done. Thirty-eight minutes in. I swear I meant to, these stories should have taken only like five minutes at most. I don't know how it got drawn out this far.
How long was the segment about him parking his truck?
That was a quick one. That was such a quick anecdote. And then, you know, Gear Expo was, I saw a lot of...
Oh, man.
I gotta tell you guys, I went to the mall yesterday because Molly had cracked her, not her screen on her phone, but the like, screen protector had cracked. So we went and got that replaced. And we got to the mall. It was actually pretty busy for like a Monday afternoon. So it took me like thirty seconds. I was driving up and down like, ah, I kind of want to pull straight through, but everyone's kind of like zigzagged. But I finally found a place where I could pull through and I parked, and then went into the mall and did stuff.
I got parking stories too. I drive. I car have and do.
I believe you more every time you say it like that.
And then I had hibachi for lunch. It was really good. What else have I done? I went to, uh, I went to my mom's house. She has like a pool, so I went to her house. I went swimming-ish. I have to be careful with my legs, so I wasn't going too crazy. But I got to get in water and move around and tried to statically toss football with my nephew without using my legs, which is harder than you'd think. Uh, if you try to sit on a float and throw a football, weird things happen sometimes with your momentum, it turns out. So I flipped myself off the back a few times, but it was good. A little bit of my calendar. What else did I do last week? See our friend Jesse. We went out. We had a
Oh, Jesse.
We had dinner. I hadn't talked to him since we went. We saw Iron Lung when it came out and I hadn't seen him since. So it was the first time we'd gotten together since Iron Lung. And I guess we were celebrating since Iron Lung's out on YouTube. We're like, let's get together again.
I hope more Iron Lung stuff happens. You could see Jesse ever again.
You gotta keep that alive.
We got a Blu-ray release, I guess. And then I don't know, man. I don't think there's anything else.
It might be the last time. I gotta figure out something fancy to do.
He only manifests when Iron Lung is mentioned. It's like a chant, you know, a demon. You just go like, ah, and long, and he sort of fades into existence.
That's the way it's been this year.
It's creepy because he doesn't talk.
No, he just sits there and wearing his Iron Lung shirt, smiling. It's really creepy.
And he's got this weird expression on his face, just like the whole time. For the listeners, I made this face.
That face sounds like this.
That's actually pretty accurate. Yeah, that's pretty good.
He made the face that you make when you make that noise.
Which is not the face that I make when I make that noise, just to be clear for the viewers who got confused by what he just said.
So I guess over, over in Blue Ash, there was an airport at some point. I don't know when, but they converted it into like a bar grill slash like big park area. So we went over there and we had dinner, which was pretty good. But it was a beautiful spot and like the old air traffic control tower is like covered in like pretty lights and stuff. Now it's just a really beautiful spot. That was nice. It was nice getting out, catching up with him for a few hours because we hadn't talked, like I said, in months. But getting out of the house, kind of breaking the routine a little bit's been nice. Just trying different things to get out of the supernatural funk that's been this year so far. So pool water and air bar. I drink, so I don't drink very much. You guys remember the drunk Minecraft days? I used to be like, oh, it's a double Long Island and all that shit.
I had one cider at this bar with food and still I was like, Molly, we might need to sit here for like two hours or else you're driving home. Oh my God, this thing's like 6% alcohol.
So I had one cider and it about knocked me on my ass. So I'm definitely not a drinker. I'm very lightweight. Uh, just getting out of the house, breaking the routine a little bit. I don't know. I don't, I don't do fancy things. There's no fancy stores or things I go to. So just, uh, normal human behavior for me is a big deal. Played Diablo two again, resurrected the old 1999 game and, uh, learning how hard that game can be. Still compared to the newer ones kicks my ass. I feel like there was something else I wanted to add, but I, God, I'm boring. I should have gone first. I'm so boring.
No, come on, man. You're not boring. Don't be like that.
Remember how Mark parked his truck? That was the good stuff.
I had lunch with my mom and I poured, uh, alcohol on her on accident. That happened. Like pouring one out for your homies kinda. No, uh, we had lunch and she had, um, like a prosecco or something and the waiter dropped off a check and I was like, I'll get it. And as I went to get the check, I just threw the prosecco on her on accident. So.
It's kinda rude.
Man, the highlights of my week.
Yeah. Mark didn't even talk about the visa thing. It's not that interesting. It's sort of just crazy that that happened because of course it did.
Anyway, we didn't get to talk about real good AI on at South by, so we'll do a makeup stream at some point in the future.
It'll be even better.
Yeah. I guess, I, I, so I don't know what the event was originally supposed to be. Was it all a conference about real good AI or was it like a segment as a part of another show? Or like, what was the?
It was South by Southwest, what London, right? So it was not the main one in Austin, but it was, it's like a.
I don't even know what South by Southwest is.
There's like a music festival. There's like movie premieres and like, but, but the, they have like talks that are kinda in the, in the vein of like Ted Talk kind of, but not really Ted Talky. But like the theme this year was like talks focused around AI and how AI is intersecting with stuff. Uh, so we were going to talk about what real good is doing.
Gotcha. So the event probably still happened. They just didn't have.
Oh yeah. No, like tons of shit. Michelle Obama was there. It was, they did not notice that we did.
How'd she get there? She has the visa like the rest of us.
I don't know.
Uh huh, I don't know.
Her thing was actually a day earlier than ours, so she probably traveled right before that whole thing happened.
Michelle, let us know how you got it. Can I call you Michelle? Let's know how you got it.
I'm, I do not condone him addressing you that way whatsoever.
This is on behalf of Mark and Bob. They really want to know.
No, don't listen to him. Listen, this is Obama.
Cut the whole bit, cut the whole bit, cut it, bail, bail, Sam, hit the emergency button.
Hey, yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm sorry you guys didn't get to go. Hopefully, how long was the visa thing down? Is it still down?
It was literally for like forty eight hours, right when Mark needed it.
I got my notification that my visa was approved like that evening.
So you guys missed your flight, then it was like, all right, well now you can't make it. You could go.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. All right, small talk done.
All right, Bob, we did it in a timely manner.
Yeah, we got lots of time. That's okay. That's okay. This game, this game can be as long or short as we want it to be. And by the way, it's, I, I don't know, I'm saying it's a game, like it's, it's not a game.
Is it called long or short?
Oh, what if it was?
And now I'll be disappointed if it's not.
This game is called long or short.
Oh, I'm not disappointed. I feel like you're lying, but I'm happy about it.
The new name of the game that just popped up into my head has nothing to do with the game and doesn't describe it in any meaningful way, but I'm going to go ahead and call it long or short anyway.
Hey, my leg's bleeding.
Dude, I took rose bushes out yesterday with a chainsaw. It is as fun as it sounds, but holy fuck, the rose bushes fight back. God damn.
Yeah, yes, yeah.
I'm at that age where I get like the cuts and bruises. I'm like, I remember getting this giant scrape. What happened to me?
You're seventy three years old? What do you mean by that? I know what happened. I'm not confused why I have a scab down there.
No, I literally get like beat up and I have no idea.
Yeah, I don't know how this gap happened. So I'm, I'm in that same boat and I'm.
You guys need to be more careful.
Don't worry, Bob. You're like two months away from our age. You'll know, you'll know in two months what we're talking about. I think you're the youngest of us, right?
Let's say our age at the same time. One, two, three.
Thirty six. Oh, I thought we were doing.
He's young. Got him.
Is that bad now? All right, long or short, also known as doing too much. Uh, I have a list of some things I want to talk about because Mandy brought this to my attention and I looked into it. And I have a problem. Have you guys ever heard of Dr. Bronner's soap? Familiar with this product? It's a product.
No, I'm not.
Pure cannon teens. Uh, what the hell is it called? Pure something.
Castile?
Castile. Yeah. I don't know what that word means, but pure castile soap. Dr. Bronner's on their own website lists this soap, which is just a liquid soap as having 18 or more uses. And it starts off completely sane and rational because they're like, it's a face wash. It's a body wash. It could be shampoo. It could be used for shaving lather. It could be bath soap, which to me is not different from body wash or any of that other shit. But like, it's a list of, and then it starts going downhill because they're like, it could be toothpaste.
What?
It could be aftershave. You could use it to clear congestion from your sinuses. Also, it's a window cleaner and a toilet bowl cleaner. You can use it for mopping. You can use it to wash your fruits and vegetables. It's a plant and pest spray. Yes, it's a thing that if you spray it on plants or on the ground, it will keep insects away from those things. Who is doing all this shit? I am not using that as a toothpaste.
Yeah, I was gonna say it kills things, but you could use this toothpaste?
This product is doing too much shit. Okay? That's too many things. It's too bold. I do think it's worth noting that specifically the one that grosses me out. Among the ones that gross me out is the toothpaste. It does specifically say like, you could use it as toothpaste. It just tastes like soap, so don't do that. But you could use it for toothpaste. I'm like, well, why? No, you couldn't then. Like if you would use lots of stuff for toothpaste, if you don't care that it tastes like an ass. That's not what toothpaste is. Toothpaste has like a minty or a cinnamony flavor. It's supposed to be like good.
This product is doing too much and I want to talk about products that are out here doing too much because I feel like we live in a time where technology is going too far. And every, every new product that comes out is like, well, what if it just does everything? What if it's an air fryer and deodorant? Can we make that combination happen?
I was afraid you were bringing this up because you're going to say some of me doing too much for a certain company.
No, no, no, no, no.
I was gonna take offense to that.
Look, it worked out. You got me a GoPro. Is that not what you wanted to have happen?
Cause if it's not what you wanted to have happen, then I guess it really didn't work out.
Technically it was the distractible, so we have a GoPro.
We got exactly what Mark wanted. I thought that was going great. I was not going to make fun of you for that. I want you guys to come up with products and it could be like genres of products or could be specific things that are out here doing too much. I have another one on my list that I wanted to talk about because this is a different product that is listed and advertised by the company that makes it as having over 2,000 uses.
Holy shit.
And I have some quibbles with the nature of the list that this company has put together, but the product WD-40, which is if you've never used it or seen it, WD-40 is like a spritzy can thing of it's, I don't even know what technically it's called. It's not really a lubricant technically. It's for like cleaning. I've always heard of WD-40 used in the context of like, oh, if you, you can clean, cleaning greasy things with it, clean it off and then you apply fresh, you know, whatever. But WD-40 is advertised as having over 2,000 uses, but their list is just a bunch. It has more than that because the list is it lubricates ashtrays for easy sliding.
It lubricates auto hood latches. It lubricates automatic seatbelt tracks. It lubricates automatic side view mirror. It could lubricate everything in the known universe. It has an infinite number of uses. If that's the list of shit it can do.
Isn't WD-40 not even a lubricant?
This is a common misconception. WD-40 is not a lubricating agent. You should not rely on it as a lubricant. It is a solvent, I think, technically. It's great for cleaning things. It can be used as sort of like a penetrating oil or on rusty thing. It does a lot, but the one thing I would say it's definitively not is a lubricant for anything.
Okay, but let's rewind. It's a solvent. Okay. And whenever we were in math class back in the day, they'd hand you with like a word problem. What was the last time it was like, please solve? You can't have solvent without solve. Therefore, it's a solution. Therefore, it's the answer. So WD-40 is just the answer.
Well, he's definitely not going to get a point for this game because it's about doing too much. Not defending it, dude.
Well, WD-40 is not. You know what does too too much? You know, here is a point. Frank's red hot. What'd you put that shit on? Oh, that's right. Everything.
Hey, I will not tolerate the Frank's red hot slander. It does one thing, which is hot sauce. It hot sauces things.
That's not what it says. You listen to the logo. I put that shit on everything. Your kid crying, Frank's red hot. Out of lube in the bedroom, Frank's red hot. Squeaky door, Frank's red hot. Out of windshield wiper fluid, Frank's red hot. I put that shit on everything.
All right, you know, okay, all right. You know what? You actually just convinced me of something and I swear to God, that might be the first time ever. I was ready to jump all over you. I was going to interrupt you to be like, you're wrong. And you directly addressed my exact concerns and convinced me that you are in fact correct. That was an excellent argument, Wayne.
All it took was four years for me to get one right. Uh, every point friend in the past has been illegitimate. I hear it. I I've heard it confirmed here.
Hey, I don't give points because I agree. Okay. I get points out of obligation.
All right. I got an example of this. Um, I never had this, but I had a different Bamboo Lab printer. The Bamboo Lab H2D, I think, is the name of it when it came out.
Was an example of doing too much. It tried, it brought forward this, everyone excited cause like, oh, it'll have two nozzles. Well, you could do so much with two print nozzles. This will be great. You could put support film in. But then it was like the H two D multi nozzle AMS also it's a laser cutter. You get laser cutters in there and it's just like, everyone was like, huh?
Like no one, we didn't ask for that.
You could hear lasers in here. It's like, I wanted a 3D printer. And it's like, it's not that.
It's not that the laser cutter is a bad thing. We actually have a laser cutter or Jason has a laser cutter and we laser cut things all the time. But it's a separate machine because when you laser cut things, there's a lot of fumes and things. Cause it's burning pretty much woods and metals and plastics and you kind of want to make sure that's a filtered solution.
Well, don't you need special glasses too or something like lasers? You can't mess around with lasers. 3D printing, you, you need some stuff, but lasers, you need like properly rated shit or you will burn your eyes out potentially, right? Like.
So they have like different glass for the laser version of it to enclose it. Because there are these laser cutter enclosures and they usually have it. X tool is like the example of the laser cutter, uh, company manufacturer that makes the laser cutter that we have. It's not that this is a bad idea to have it. It's just like, why? Cause they only had the other, well, they had that and then the smaller, cheaper version of it. But it's like two nozzles would have been great. It would have been perfect if it just jumped one nozzle.
But they were like, and also it can do laser. It doesn't have to have a laser cutter, but it's also just like, Felix doing too much.
I did, I did always think, I've just only recently actually got into 3D printing, but I've always been a fan. And I always felt like, I get why they, they think the overlap of people who are into 3D printing and people who would use a laser cutter. Is probably pretty substantial, right? Cause if you're, if you're making stuff, if you're a maker, you probably would like both of those tools if you could have them. But if you're a maker who cares enough to have either a 3D. Printer or a laser cutter in your like arsenal of stuff. You probably want pretty specific things, I guess I thought. And those, this is like, this gives the vibes of that thing. You know, it's like a made for TV product where it's like, it slices, it dices, it peels, it cut, Julian's.
It's like, well, it does all of those things kinda shitty, doesn't it? Like, because, because it's not any one of those things, doesn't it do all of them pretty half ass? Compared to like what a dedicated laser cutter would be doing or, I don't know. It just seems, it also just feels dangerous. I, 3D printing, I have no fears about. And I know there's fumes and you have to be, you have to be kind of careful and think about. But laser, lasers is just a whole other level of like, I would not invite that into my house. Because I don't think I'm careful enough to use laser shit. Sure, it's all safe and enclosed, but that's, that's a good pandering answer. Cause you know, I love that shit. And you know, I have Ambo Labs products, big fan.
Let's talk about the big one. Duct tape. Duct tape is used to build tools. Duct tape and dungeon crawler Carl's used to build bombs. Duct tape can fix your car. Duct tape can build your house. Duct tape can patch your wounds. Duct tape is the glue that holds the earth itself together. I'm convinced if another meteor hits, we'll patch up the hole with duct tape. That's what will keep us all around because duct tape. Is there a more important, like if you think about getting stuck on an island, is there an item other than like food or water? That you could think that we have more use than duct tape?
I'm trying not to let my personal feelings about duct tape get in the way here because I love duct tape.
Yeah, same, but like it's, it's got infinite uses.
I think the thing here is this might be the one and only product in existence. Where I think you're right, it's doing a lot, but I don't think you could say it's doing too much. Because I think it does everything good enough.
But that's where it's scary. It does do too much because we rely on it.
It's good though.
But it is until it goes away.
The problem with all this stuff is like, well, I wouldn't want to use it for toothpaste. That's gross. Every duct tape use is like, ah, you can use duct tape for that. Would work like you, you know, it might not be as good as what you're supposed to use, but that would work fine. Duck tape would work fine for our purposes. Duck tape always worked. I can't think of a situation where I'm like, oh, well, I wouldn't want to use duck tape for that.
But we become too reliant on it.
No, but that's not the problem.
Ever goes away, we're fucked.
It won't. If duck, if we lose all of human history, duck tape will be one of the first things that we reinvent because that's how we'll invent every other thing.
Let's hope, but duck tape itself as the brand trademark, see circle TM, we, we rely way too much.
Okay. Well, if we're going to talk about brands, that gets really complicated. Okay. Are you talking about the brand of duct tape that is put out by like 3M? Or are you talking about the brand?
Oh, I'm talking about Mr. Duck himself.
Duck tape, the brand whose mascot is a duck. This is, don't get me started on brands of, don't even get me started on gorilla tape, which some might argue is a superior version of duck tape.
Are gorillas superior to ducks? I don't know. I think that that's a complicated issue. Duck tapes uses, I agree are great, but I think it is useful for too much and we are too reliant on duck tape. Cause if duck tape ever gets, becomes like intelligent and leaves the planet and we have no more duck tape, then what are we going to do?
Mark, you're unbiased. Does he get a point for that one?
Ah, man, I can see it both ways because yeah, it's, it, it, cause I bet the manufacturer is like, hey, this is for ducts. We made it's duct tape, but everyone in the world's like, oh, could use it for repairing your boat, waterproofing, you can put up your walls.
Broken nose duct tape, annoying kid duct tape.
It's, it's one of those things where it's like, is it really the fault of the manufacturer or is it, are they complicit? I say they're complicit.
I think they have adopted it. I think it's fair to say that, that clearly they originally didn't, but they are obviously now duct tape. Probably has a thing on their website that's like, it has 500 uses or more stick it, I stick that shit on everything.
Frank's duct tape?
Frank's red duct tape. Don't put it on your skin. Don't put it on your skin, anything else, but don't fuck, don't put it on here. All right. I'm confused how exactly to spell it when I write it down.
Uh, P D U C K T. The P is silent.
Pudoo.
A D.
I got, I got another one. It's a bit niche, but you know, mine are always going to be tech based because of tech, tech guy. So, uh, there's, there's a camera that they're not going, not talking about GoPro, I swear to fuck. There's something called a Ronin 4D, right? So the Ronin 4D is probably the textbook definition of doing too much. It, I have it. I have it because I was like, this seems like super cool. Oh man, it could be the future. It could the, oh, this is the perfect camera. It definitely is an example of doing too much. It's not only a cinema camera,
it's a built-in gimbal with a Z-axis LiDAR with like, uh, uh, uh, like hand grips from focus wheels and it can autofocus with the LiDAR and it can have all this transmission out and it seems like, it seems like on, on its surfaces, wow, this is really great. Uh, but the more and more I have gone down this cinema road, I have realized that there is a prohibitive nature to grabbing that camera when all I need is a shot. Um, for most of film production, or at least stuff that I do, the, the shots that I sometimes prefer are just on a tripod. I, it's bold that I just
enter the movie sphere and I'm like, I get to have opinions here, but I feel like I do a little bit is like, I feel like not every shot needs motion. Not every shot needs to push in. I really like the POV where something is bolted on to a car, right? Where it's fixed, stuck there, not moving. It even gets a little shake from the car too. I don't need a perfectly smooth yada yada all the time. There are times when you need it. There are times when you definitely need it. And the camera is like, it shoots good. I haven't really shot and used that much from it because again, it's like really hard to get all set up and every, all the bells and whistles working. And you know, I often find myself just not using it because of that, but it's useful. There's a need for it, but it's like, it's just doing too much. It's trying to do all the things and it's
So limiting in the number of lenses that you can use on it because it's like it has to be light enough to fit on there. So it's doing all this stuff and you still can't really use.
Yeah, it has interchangeable lenses, but the for people who don't have pictures in front of you or our listeners. This is basically a camera. Imagine a camera as like, I don't know, like this, right? But bigger, a cinema camera is kind of like this GoPro, it's bigger, but the lens is a is a thing you can interchange on most nice cameras. But this camera would be like if this GoPro thing existed, but then the lens was like up here. And so there's like the main body of the camera, but then the lens is maybe like a quarter of the size of the main camera body, but it's like, because it's gimbal. But so you can, having an interchangeable lens on that would basically be like constantly, well, every time you change it, you change the counterbalance of the thing.
That balancing gimbals is such a huge fucking pain in the ass when you're using gimballed stuff. I assumed it was like a fixed lens, like a very.
They have their own lenses, but they only have like five and it's like it can auto calibrate to what it is. But it's like, I wouldn't want to use those lenses anyway, because they're kind of on the cheaper side and the layer side. And yes, with gimbals, you have to rebalance, but these motors aren't strong enough to take the big lenses. So it's like you would need a stronger gimbal anyway to do a lot of this stuff. I feel like you're doing as much setup, but with the limitations and yes, for certain people, this is like, oh, it's great. Like for them, but also it is doing too much.
That is a very niche, but very interesting one. I like that. Well, and when you, I didn't realize this was a camera. Isn't Ronin also in line of DJI gimbals in general?
Yes.
Isn't that just like they make us, I don't know if it's a set or or whatever, like a series of products, but it's a different thing, right?
Yes. So they have their Ronin series of gimbals. This is the Ronin cinema camera. They have the RS series, which is the smaller form factor, but they've kind of scaled it up. But also they have the cinema standard is the Ronin two is like for most productions. They're like the Ronin two is the stabilizer to use for smaller productions or whatever. But they haven't updated that in like 10 years. They don't, there's no Ronin three. There's an RS five now, I think, but I don't know. It's a, it's a whole thing. It's like, you know, that particular camera. And I can say this because I have it and I'm like, I find myself, I'm probably going to sell it because it's just like, I do not use it enough to justify it. Wait, give me something.
Spray bottles.
Expound.
Yeah, I made this expression, listeners. So you have a bottle, you put liquid in it, right? You spray, spray water, water your plants. You spray poison, you can kill plants. You put in good smelling sprays, good smelling sprays make your house smell good. You put in, I don't know, acid and sprays them to melt them. It sounds crazy, but you could. You know what's crazy about the spray bottle is liquid, as long as it doesn't melt, the bottle goes in it. What's in the bottle? Hope it's labeled. Oh, you're reusing it afterward? Guess it's not labeled now. Hope I remember five years from now what I put in there for the niche use that it had. So spray bottles, they can be used for too much because there's too many variances of liquids could be.
Is it acidic? Is it base? Is it somewhere in between? Does it smell good? Does it smell bad? Does it keep things alive? Does it kill things? I don't know. Really hope me with my really shit memory remembers what I was using this particular spray bottle for. How thoroughly do I have to clean the bottle if I want to go from poison to live?
I think maybe just don't go that direction. Yeah, I think maybe you just, if you just have one that's like, that's the poison one. Maybe that's.
I see you're relying on someone with a good memory or the labels. And again, if you can reuse spray bottles, then the labels don't mean anything because you can empty it out and then you just have an empty bottle. Empty, quote unquote, besides all the murderous residue that lies inside, waiting for the right moment to escape. When you.
Can I counterpoint this? Cause I think like I, you know, I've, I've kind of been on your side for the other ones. I might, I might say I have a better spray based thing that is actually doing too much. Garden hose sprays, why they got all those other dial settings that I don't use? Cause a spray bottle, I'm like, it's got two, it's, well, three, maybe it's got on, narrow and wide. And I'm like, I could see uses for all of, and off. And it's got, I could see uses for all those.
Well, some of them have like the, the array of like little bigger as you go.
Well, that's, that's what I'm talking like the garden hose spray has like, I only use two. The lot of liquid or the far liquid or the wide liquid. That's all I need. I need to, I need to go this. I need to go all the way over there or I need to.
Garden hose, I have thumb or no thumb?
Man's, man's never owned a sprayer.
The garden hose sprayer, some of the deluxe version have like 40 settings and I gotta click all the way through all of them. Meanwhile, my petunias are getting doused by every.
Form of water there is, and before I get to the one I need, because the, the, the one I need is on the opposite dial of the other one.
But see, you have to hit some like plants with the real light spray, but some of the trees that really just want to know if they can take it. You have to hit with the harder spray. So it makes sense.
That's what I'm saying. Those are the only ones I need. I need, I need mist.
The harder.
Mist shower, uh, laser.
Lasers, laser.
And then, uh, open the damn gates flood, you know, that's the four I need. Maybe there's one more, but there's way too many dial setting.
Don't forget the fire hose.
That's, that's what I mean. The, the, the, the goosher.
It does feel like someone was given that assignment and the guy, whoever assigned it was like, give me eight sprays. And they were like, well, aren't there really like three tops, like maybe four and the, and his boss was like,
Eight sprays.
Tomorrow on my desk. And the guy was like, okay, well, you got the ones everyone knows. And then what if there was cone?
But see, this is tangential because like the direction and shape of the spray versus what you're actually spraying are related, but they're two different things.
Yeah, I guess I was jumping on marks because I, I'm having a hard time with the spray bottle argument. I feel like especially if you're talking about using up something that came in a spray bottle, you use the bottle of Windex, the Windex is gone. And then you keep that and you're like, well, I put poison in this Windex bottle. How am I supposed to, maybe you're not a person who's supposed to be multi-purposeing these things. Maybe once the Windex is gone, Wade should throw away the spray bottle. I feel like.
This isn't about the personal use. This is about the product and the product allows reuse.
At some point, it's on you to know your limitations. It's not the spray bottle's fault. The spray bottle is not trying to be everything.
Does the bottle say get rid of after emptying? I don't think it says that on there.
Probably. Are you kidding me? Almost every product says please discard if damaged or when done using or whatever, right? Cause like for liability, I'm sure.
Not in the title. It just says Windex.
Oh, so if you didn't. Read it, it doesn't say it. I forgot about that. Okay. Like, the thing about spray bottles is they can do a lot, but also, that's, that's on you. They not, Windex is not like, and when you're done, fill it with hyaluronic acid and use it to spray your skincare regimen onto your-
What about the non-labeled bottles you buy that are just empty bottles?
You rip, you rip off the bottles of them, or they come empty?
Well, they sell, they sell, I own some of those. They sell unlabeled bottles. Those are usually for a purpose. You know what my unlabeled bottles are for? I have one that I mix my, like, floor cleaning solution into, because I have a big jug of floor cleaner that you're supposed to mix into a smaller thing. And I have one that I mix dish soap into, because dish soap is really inconvenient to use unless it's diluted with water, and then you could spray it on the counter and clean whatever. But I don't have, like, thirty spray bottles with Rand. I don't go to the cabinet and be like, "Let's pick a mystery spray and spray it on some stuff. Let's see what happens."
What about the spray bottle that is actually a nozzle you hook up to a hose in order to spray the water and the product at the same time? Combining the two things that Mark and I are talking about.
No, I, I get, I'm now on Wade's side. If, if you can also entertain another in this, in-
Okay, keep expounding. Yes, yes.
I think electrical sockets are doing too much. You can plug anything into it. I can plug a, a hedge trimmer, a toaster, a Kilomatic 9000. I, I would be a-
A fork?
I could eat a fork. I could plug it right in. It's doing too much. I agree, Wade. It's, you, there's nothing on the plug that says, "Don't plug in the nuclear explosion" right into there. You know, the overload the nuclear reactor nearby plug that I have. Uh, don't ask me where I got it, but you know, that's not doing too much. Very specific use for that. And then I plug it in and I'm dead and everyone's dead, you know? And don't even get me started on the fact that you go over to Europe and it's a different shaped outlet that does the same thing. And then you've got the adapter, it's like, "Oh, I've got to plug in my Australia plug, my Germany plug, my US plug, my Antarctica plug."
You're winning me over, you're winning me over if we can entertain one more. You know, you know what else is doing the exact same kind of way too much?
Vehicles.
You can take vehicles anywhere in the known universe? Excuse me? You could drive a car on the road, sure, on your driveway, in your garage, on the bottom of the ocean? What?
Troops into battle, oversized load on the highway, carry an actual another vehicle, carry ten other vehicles.
Some people sleep in them. Can you imagine? Me me, honk me me me in a car?
Cars think that they're houses now.
Hold all those dirty ass soccer kids that are covered in mud?
You know who else is doing too much? The James Webb Telescope. It thinks it can look at anything in the universe? It can point anywhere?
Whoa, man, just looking.
It's not even just one light spectrum, it's multiple light spectrums. I think when you come to infinite, you are definitely doing too much, you know? You know what I'm saying?
You know what else? The human body does way too much. Reproduces, it eats, it poops, it pisses, it vomits, makes earwax, it spits, the appendix. Like, can we talk about that? What the fuck?
Yeah, I know, right?
What are you doing? What are you doing there?
It just dies, that's all it does. You know what else is doing too much? Electrons. Those little bastards are everywhere. They're in pretty much everything, like, I think, almost everything. Every element on the table, you're like, oh, they got different numbers, all electron, it's electrons all the way through, it's doing all of it, it's trying to be everything. Not, they don't even know where it is. It's in orbitals, oh, soon ours gets excited, I don't want to know about that.
Swiss Army knife? One, thought you were neutral, why do you have an army? Two, are you a bottle opener? You're a wine opener? You're whittling, you're cutting, you're stabbing, you're twisting, you're pulling, you're, you're a bop it of murder for a country that's like, we love peace or whatever, and cheese, I don't know what you're doing over there, Swiss.
I'm so glad you brought it up. Bop it, not the three version, the five version.
The five version, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ridiculous. It was already hard enough, you had infinite difficulty escalation with speed going up on the original bop, but you do not need five. I don't need to twist it.
I definitely don't need to flick it.
Big enough twist, I'm glad you brought that up. Condoms. Are condoms there to stop pregnancy? Are they ribbed for her pleasure? Are they juiced for your pleasure? Are they liquefied for don't feel it? Are they extra solid for like made of wood? Tell me about these condoms.
Now bringing you distractible condoms. Ever wanted to not feel it? Liquid. It's such a bottle. In a spray bottle cuz they can do anything.
Spray on condom. Why don't we just use duct tape?
Ah, the unremovable condom. I like that. No mistakes here.
Ever wanted to feel like you were fucking an air duct? Get distractable band condoms.
And it's okay. You could just poke a hole so you can pee. Wait.
Don't you hate it when you're having sex and you're like, I gotta go to the bathroom?
Just use your Swiss Army knife penis hole poker and just hit it with the little.
It's the round curly one. That's the one you want. Penises do do too much. You got your bladder evacuation and reproduction nonsense. And speaking of the little curly, talk about ducks. Those things are terrifying. Alright, man.
Well, no, everyone knows about duck penises. You know about duck penises, Mark?
I know, I know, I was. Why do you know about that?
We covered everything. We covered everything. That's everything, man.
Yeah, I think that was guy. I didn't know if we were gonna be able to get through all of it, but I think we pretty much covered everything that is doing too much. Don't do anything with this information. Keep using whatever products you normally use. It's fine. Now that we've solved that problem that everyone in the world was so concerned about, let's see who got points for what? I don't know what some of these things mean. Wade, in no particular order, you got points for not caring about James.
Wait, whoa.
Won't be invited back, which I think you said to Mark, which made him sad. Apple jam jokes, very funny. Not having a car still.
Is this this episode?
Yeah, yeah. Iron lung Jesse, getting cider drunk off of one cider. Frank's red hot duct tape, spray bottles, James Webb telescope, human bodies, bop it of murder. For a total of 11 points for Wade. Mark?
When did I not care about James? I don't remember that.
I was so long ago. I don't remember, but it was in small talk. Uh, Mark, you earned points for commanding Sam in a firm but respectful way. Being sad about GoPro for no apparent reason. Can't remember what that was about. Lying about your trip to Apple being wonderful so that you could stay friends with Tim Apple. Showing your cool picture from Reddit to Tim Apple, making me jealous because of the Apple stuff. You, I, we didn't talk about this, but I gave you a point because I thought it was impressive. Your car was six foot six. You were too tall to go somewhere, Mark. That must have felt pretty good.
It felt awkward, actually.
You got a point for being a bad YouTuber. Uh, you got a point for pointing out that the Bamboo Lab H2D was doing too much. Ronin 4D, electrons, and the Bopit Extreme, which somehow the Bopit of murder came up first about the Swiss Army knife. And that led to marketing a point for the Bopit Extreme. Uh, but anyway, a real shocker. Mark, you earned a total of 12 points. It's not at all because I was jealous that you got to do some really cool stuff this week. And it's because you earned it, Mark.
I think that the flaw of trying, of having a lot of things happen in life is that Wade can earn points on, on small talk too. So if, if I, if I don't come in with confident small talk, then if anyone makes a joke about it, I think that's an opportunity for points. So I'm strategizing for the future.
It's good to do that out loud in front of your opponents.
He'll forget. Don't worry.
You're right. Uh, let's see how many spins we're going to spin.
Man, the, the, bar in the wheel, man. My, my horrible streak continues. All right, there's a chance.
Two, two is a good number for today.
One goes to Bob, one goes to me and we have a tie.
Uh, I am adding to this wheel. Oh, I, I didn't really come up with this. I will say, I had in my notes, like, a person who did too much this episode, but that feels like one of those ones where every time it comes up, we're going to be like, I don't really know if anyone did too much this time. I don't know if that counts. And I wanted to be one that actually hits. So just to, just to make the small talk a little bit more, uh, meaningful on the points. Point for whoever had the most small talk. Just has to be voluminous. Most small. Wait, that's confusing. Small talk. There you go.
Most small. Hello.
So Mark is winning 12 to 11. We have two spins.
All right, tying it up right here.
Wah boom!
Live points absolute, ayy!
Alright, that's still good for me, that's still good for me.
So that counts as a spin and nobody had any live points, yeah?
Yep. Yeah, alright, alright, alright. Tie it up right here, alright.
Yeah, let's not, don't do that.
Woo hoo! Those bald! My ass, my ass, my ass!
My ass! That's why I always pay attention to what's coming up. My aaaaaass!
He still hasn't said it, so I feel like it has to go to Mark.
My, uh, reading comprehension, the Y on the top was cut off and I was like, "Salv my ass?", what does that mean?
I'll save, I'll sav your ass.
I was like, "Save my a...? What...? Oh, say..."
Mark going, "My ass, my ass, my ass, my ass!", didn't give you any hints.
Well, it did, but by the way, it was too late, so I just accepted the L, but, uh, I'm just trying to figure out why my brain thought the first Y was a V and the second one was a Y, when they looked exactly the same. I'll say "look at my ass" just in case I was part of the rule, I don't think it was, but just say if, if some obscure redditor out there is like, "It was supposed to be about say, 'Look at my..."
You know what the thing about that is, Mark? Is we don't give a shit.
Right, that's true.
Before we get into the loser speeches and wrap up the episode, did you guys want to take a look at the bounty board or anything? Did anyone have a bounty that they want to cash in? Any, any bounty actions today?
We have one of those now, we have a bounty board?
It's on the, oh, it's on the Reddit, you don't go on, so I guess that's...
Oh, okay, I'll take a look at that. Uh, yeah, I've got so many to turn in, I'm gonna save them though.
I, I honestly, I have plans already to execute on a few of these, but I ha- I don't have one today, I'm the host, so it's kind of a waste anyway, but I'm excited by the bounty board. Keep putting stuff out there. Check out the thread on the subreddit, because I probably have some. Also, no one has taken the initiative. If you want us to spend the budget, the $600 a month allocation, we're gonna need to see some democracy in the subreddit, okay? I would like, I would like to see a discussion thread, I would like to see some proposals set forth, I would like to see maybe some votes taken, I don't know. We're, we're not just gonna, we're not just gonna willy-nilly do stuff though, I'm gonna, I need to see some consensus building, alright? I want to see some, uh, I want to see some allies out there making stuff happen, because I do want to do that.
It's not just on us. Okay, this is our show, comrades.
All that stuff I said. I'm trying. I think we should build that in as like every episode, we should do a little check in on the bounty stuff just to see. Also, that's the point where if someone was gonna cash in a bounty and steal the episode, that feels like the moment where it's like, ah, five points for me. And then you or whatever. We decided last time it was like one point or two points, right?
Yeah, I can't remember where the cutoff was.
No bounty stuff today, tonight, today, whatever. Uh, Wade, loser's speech.
Uh, I want to throw out, I think we forgot to do speeches last episode, but I think that's because we were just having, uh, we were having a real talky episode. So it was, it's fine.
People were mentioning that on the subreddit. It's fine. I think it's fine.
Acknowledging that it happened, but like, I think we're all cool with that over here. So therefore you're cool with it. You know, it's been, it's been nice getting outside. It was nice having the last episode where we got to open up a bit. It was nice hearing, uh, about Mark's, uh, crazy life again. In some ways I'm like, oh, man, I'm jealous. I'd love to do all that stuff. At the same time, I'm like, you know, just getting outside and like going to the pool, being, I don't know, just, just simple things. I'm getting some enjoyment out of trying to just break the monotony of being here at the computer all the time. So honestly, it might be a loss of an episode, but it's been a win of a week and hopefully, uh, that continues and things are all in the ups for everybody. Just, you know, my loser's speech, just pushing the good vibes. And we all have some good vibes.
Thanks, loser. Mark, winner's speech.
Well, well, well, this is completely unexpected. Who would have thought that me would reign victory over there with my interesting, interesting life with all the things that I'm doing with the special groups that I'm part of. When I go to these special events, that is actually very special. And just because I wasn't with all the other YouTubers doesn't mean that I'm not special. It makes me more special, I think. Cause I've ascended beyond being just a YouTuber. I am now a filmmaker and so I'm on another level entirely. And this victory solidifies all of that. I will use my judicial ability, abilities, uh, to change the word abilities to abilities first. Second, to, uh, make sure that, uh, my, my titles are respected and I will have a Harold
using the funds appropriated by our Congress to buy me a Harold to announce my arrival in every action, like much like a king. Not saying I'm a king, but you know.
You can just buy people named Harold?
Yeah. It's my speech. I'm not done. Excuse you. Uh, Sam, please expunge him from the universe.
Sam, you're sponging me. He's an expunge.
Alright, okay. So, uh, I'm done.
He's ascended beyond YouTuber. He's now super tuber.
Now he's a me-tuber. Uh, congratulations Spark. You will be the host of the next episode. Uh, everyone, make sure you follow all of us, but possibly most importantly, the show on like platforms and stuff. Marcus Markplier, Wade is LordMannion777, I am Myskirm. The show is Distractible. Uh, we have a YouTube channel. We're on all your podcast platforms. Just subscribe, hit the plus, whatever. Follow the show. Make sure you check out the merch. Distractible. Shop dot shop. Store.
Distractible shop dot shop store, comma.
Distractible dot store. No, it's shop. I was wrong.
Fuck.
That was no.
If you want to get merch, you have to move really quickly because it comes and goes fast. Thank you everyone for buying all the merch. Thank you for listening to this episode. Mark is gonna host the next one, so make sure you come back for that. Anyway, we're out of here. See you on the next one. Podcast out.
Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated