Distractible
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Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers and welcome to Distractible. This episode, Mugging Mark Jet Set Blows Off the Boys, Then Talks Robot Talk, Wagtastic Wade Gets Dismissed by James, Mistaken for a Setuagenarian, Shaved, sued by Disney, and Street Snorkels, Booming Head Bob Describes Doggy Dog Fisting, Chides Concrete Constructs, Slams Sora, and Carpet Bombs Proliferating Penguins, From Flatulence Maxing to Dorking Wives. Heh heh heh heh heh.
It's time for Anything Goes, Part Four. Now, sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hi, welcome to Distractible, the show where you're going to laugh and laugh and laugh because of these two funny gentlemen right here and sometimes me. This one's name is Bob. No, that, I guess this one's named Wade and that one's named Bob.
Very funny.
Eh? Yeah, yeah. And don't forget about our editors. Editors make 'em laugh.
Ah, fart noises never get old. Good one, boys.
Good one, good one, good one.
It was okay. Over here judging farts. Who are you to judge farts? Are you the host? Seriously, are you the host? Who's hosting?
I don't know.
That is a good name for an episode. We judge each other's farts. That's such a good name. God.
Brings me back to the fart genie.
There's no other level to it either. It's just judging each other's farts. That's a tough one. I think that one has to have homework, right? I feel like you have to record every fart you do for like a week or a month or something and then we bring them in so we can talk about it. That's a tough one, but I feel like that'd be worth it.
Have you seen the TikTok about the guy who is trying to fart Max?
No. What's he like eating beans and stuff like?
Oh, man, he was eating so much more than beans.
What does it mean to fart max? Is that a phrase?
He, well, the video is like, he's like, and now welcome to episode 39 of fart maxing. I've got some super kimchi here along with some fiber and some pickle juice and some, some, uh, high starch beans for maximum volume and.
Oh, extra fart beans.
Yeah. And then he got some spicy peppers in there. It was like, I think this is going to be the greatest concoction I've ever had. And it just turns to him on the toilet being like, I am in the most pain I've ever been in my life. Fart max failed. I'll get them next time, boys.
I'd hate that.
Yeah, I'm glad my algorithm didn't think that I was super into that because I only saw two of his videos. Well, now that we've mentioned it, it definitely will show up.
That sounds like a much funnier version of the, have you seen the day 300 of spraying dog medicine on my hands until I can punch through brick walls guy?
Forgot about that. Yeah. What happened to him? Is he?
He's like still going. He's over a year.
Oh, man.
It's awful. Literally, he does it and his hands sound like they're made of, God, I don't even know, somehow glass or something. It's horrific.
Why would you want that?
He reached a point where his hands are so calloused that like they give off, they have like constant static charge. So if he just holds his hand near rice, he can like levitate rice. Cause his hands are so fucking, his hands just like are infinitely statically charged. Cause he's just fucking shoving them in buckets of rice 24 seven.
Oh, man, that's really funny.
Wait, you need to spend either way more or way less time on the internet. You're not seeing the right stuff.
I think the answer is more to see that, but I'm going to go with less because I don't know that I want to.
There's nothing wrong. Look, it's concerning because I wouldn't want it. And I don't know who's ever going to let that man touch them in the rest of his life, but it's fascinating that this guy is so dead set on having literal hands of steel. He could beat Superman in a hand toughness competition, presumably.
Oddly specific.
So a bunch of nerds just raced into the comment section to tell me how stupid that was, but I bet he could do it.
I bet he could do it. I bet he, I mean, he's obviously gaining superpowers right now.
Just hands, nothing beyond hands. The rest of him is totally normal, but his hands, you don't want to let him touch you. You don't want to let him get a hold of you.
What is in the dog medicine? That's what it makes me confused.
So I don't know what it's made of, but it's for dogs who have like, I don't know if it's damage to their pads of their feet. It's stuff to toughen up the pads of their feet, right?
Oh, for the pat, right? That makes more sense.
You spray it on dogs' feet if they have like a wound on their pad, or if they have like soft pads and they need to be tougher for walking outside or whatever, like.
Right, right. Okay.
It's, it's for that. So it's literally for like toughening skin. I have no fucking idea what it's made of.
Why doesn't he just wear gloves?
Cause then his hands aren't covered in dog medicine. What do gloves buy him?
Yeah, think before you talk.
This guy, why do we even invite him to this?
I'm giving you a minus zero points. Why go for dog pads? Why not like bug exoskeletons?
Exoskeletons, eh?
Yeah, it's like hang out with James. Bugs, a bug exoskeletons.
I feel like every time he's brought up lately, I get lumped in with the, yeah, Wade really is like a two or three year old.
Dude, we went to dinner the other night.
Oh, yeah, we don't have to.
God, that was so funny.
We really don't have to relive that. What happened? I want to hear about it.
James has always sort of known Wade as Molly's husband.
He crushes on her hard.
He loves Molly. And then we're like, and this is Wade? And he's like, yeah, yeah. Hey. And like keeps talking to Molly. He's become increasingly dismissive towards Wade the longer they've known each other. And we were out at a restaurant, so and we were getting ready to leave, I think. And so everyone was standing up and sort of move, making our way out. And I was like, James, say goodbye to everybody. Like, you know, give, give him a hug or whatever. And he ran around and was like, bye, bye. Got everyone except Wade. And then he's standing right in front of Wade and I'm like, hey buddy, did you forget anybody? Like, did you, did you say goodbye to everyone? And he looks up at Wade directly.
Looks right at me.
Regards him and is like, no, and walks away.
It was brutal, man.
He thought about it. He was like, I don't owe that guy shit. See ya.
It was so funny.
When he first started saying goodbyes, Molly and I were standing right next to Bob and James cuts right across in front of me to go to Molly to say bye to her first.
He like bust you out of the way almost. He was like, don't touch me. I gotta talk to Molly.
I am an obstacle in between one of his many love interests.
That's, that's fair. I'm giving you a pity point just for that way.
Thanks.
He needs it, man. It's tough out here.
Hey, you need that. Yeah, it's, it's real tough. Uh, how is your life though?
Well, pre-prepared for a couple more pities. I finally went to see a doctor and had an EKG done because I was having those heart palpitations. EKG came back clean, which was nice.
That's always good.
And then they put me on a heart monitor for 48 hours. So I was wearing a heart monitor, which I thought would be really disruptive and annoying. It actually didn't really bother me at all. Other than the fact I couldn't shower or bathe with it, which was kind of gross, but otherwise didn't really bother me. But I turned that in before we went to dinner. Uh, over the weekend, I turned that in on Sunday. No one's called me. No one said a thing. So I, I'm guessing I'm okay or they lost it or something.
If it was bad news, they would have called you right away. Definitely. You're totally fine.
Uh, well, let me rewind to getting the heart monitor.
Okay.
So I go see my normal like family doctor and he's like, all right, we're gonna do an EKG. I'll just do some normal tests. And you seem fine, but you know, just to be safe, he gave me a prescription to something. I figured it was called just in case I needed it. Probably should have looked into that more. I've got some medicine I should probably be taking.
That's, yeah, you might want to learn about that, but go on.
Molly wasn't there to tell me it was important, so I forgot about it till just now.
My bad. Uh, but then he's like, let's get you on a heart monitor for a couple of days just to see what's going on. So I had to go to a hospital to get the heart monitor. They didn't do it there. They scheduled me an appointment to go to the hospital. I walked in with Molly and the, the doctor had been like, yeah, it's gonna be really quick. They're just gonna put a couple of like sensors on you. You'll carry the heart monitor around. It'll be easy. Should be a quick appointment, whatever. Then they'll have you drop it off. Cool. So we go to the hospital and I check in and they send me to another place where I check in again. Make sure I'm in the right spot, double checked in. Molly and I sit down and the lady comes back right away and calls my name. It's like, oh, man, so fast. There's some people waiting, but they wanted me first. This is excellent. And, uh, Molly starts to go back with me because after the, uh, I forgot to ask questions about my medicine debacle. She's like, I will be with you every step of the way from this point on.
So she goes to go with me and the lady that calls my name is like patient only you have to wait here and the look Molly gave I thought the lady was gonna die on the spot but she held firm and made me go back by myself and I was like well they're just putting on a heart monitor how this it's gonna be fine like whatever they take me back to a room it's a big room I was like man this is a this is a large room for a simple thing but okay that's fine.
Is there an audience in the rafters is there like a circle room?
It's an operating theater.
There's three other nurses in the room.
Oh, good.
And they start striking up a conversation with me they're like this is your name your birthday oh happy early birthday is like oh thank you they're like I'm April 4th because my birthday is April 3rd like I'm April 4th I'm April 5th it's like that's weird we all three four five and they're all like oh well we're just we're excited to have you here and I was like great why are there so many of you for this?
Why are you so excited?
And why are you excited?
Never seen a freak like you before wow.
Yeah it's like I'm just here for a heart monitor but hey everyone yep I like chatting with people there's people I got an audience I'm happy and they sit me down keep asking me some questions and they're like alright well this is gonna be pretty simple procedure it'll take about 45 minutes or so and I was like procedure 45 minutes these are words that don't sound like putting on a heart monitor come to find out they were gonna be doing some like super stress tests or something and the only reason they figured out that I wasn't the supposed recipient is I guess they finally saw through the gray in the ball that realized I wasn't 78 years old but for the first however many minutes I guess I convinced them.
I like that part of the conversation was about your birthday too.
It sure was.
So they were thinking about that and they in their head they were like man he looks great wow it was born in the 50s wow.
They had my name right too so they must have had the right cover sheet but the wrong back sheet or something I don't know but they had they had a good mixture of correct and very incorrect information.
There's a deaf 90 year old in the waiting room named Wade just saying they'll call me any second.
Now.
Oh, is this what performs the test? Yeah, you take this, you go home and we'll call you in a couple of days. Really thought I was getting more done than this.
Doctor said there would be more nurses to talk to.
Always, always love attention.
Yeah, same. You're all the same.
So anyway, when they finally figured out that I was the wrong patient, this is like 10, 15 minutes in. Another nurse comes and she's like, hey, come with me. Sorry. We really know what we're doing here today. I promise. It's just, it's a little hectic. And I was like, okay, good. So can I have my wife come back?
They take you to another room with a huge machine that says anal probulator. And they're like, all right, lay down face down. Wait a minute, which Wade are you? Ah, shit.
It was Wade Day at the hospital. I should have known.
We scheduled by name. I always tell them that's a terrible plan.
They had the lady that came back and got me. She apologized for the mix up. I was like, can my wife come back? And she's like, this will be too fast. No, you don't need her. And I was like, man. She takes me to the equivalent of a broom closet. This is a much smaller room. There is barely sitting room in this one. And I've really missed the nice big stress test room. But this room felt a lot more apt for the very minor, just get out that happened. And then she was upset. I've got like, I'm not, I'm not a super hairy person. I do have a little bit of hair on my chest. And she was like, ah, I was hoping you'd be one of the hairless ones. And I was like, excuse me.
She's like, well, I forgot my razor. Give me a second. I was like, okay. So then she leaves and then she comes back with like a little handheld, like a razor and just like,
all right, that'll be good enough. But she was very upset that I had any amount of body hair. I guess I was supposed to be an Olympic swimmer when I came in, but I wasn't quite prepared.
She looked at your head and was like, I really hope it carries down.
So, yeah, I felt shamed.
This guy hates hair.
I felt very shamed for having any amount of chest hair. But then she put the, I think it was like five sensors on, pressed a couple of boodle doops on this beeper thing. Put it in my pocket and she's like, all right, here's a paper. Write down when you have any issues, write down the time. Here's where you return it. I'll circle it. Okay.
Fun.
I walked out and I Molly looked like that girl from Willy Wonka who ate the blue candy was like swelling into like red rage over time. She was very unhappy.
Oh, okay.
Not she wasn't like swelling up.
She was a human blueberry?
Well, blues, I guess the wrong color. She was turning red with rage is what I'm trying to say. I just did it wrong. You know, wrong color, wrong fruit, wrong movie, probably, but okay. I walked out and I was like, look, I've got the, and I mean, she looked like her eyes were about to shoot lasers. Cause one, I was a lot faster than 45 minutes, but she thought she was going to sit out there for 45 minutes. Two, she was there to go with me and she kind of had a hectic morning to make sure she could go to the appointment just to be shoved in the waiting room. And then I started telling her about the mistakes and how like, oh yeah, I could go to this other room. You could have definitely come back to that one. Oh, I should have never said those words. Cause man, oh man, we got out quickly and it was probably for the best. Cause uh, she was not a happy camper with being dismissed by the people that took me to the wrong room and all.
She's like, I need to go make sure the right things happen. No, we've got him. We're going to go do the stress test on your 78 year old husband.
I, the context could not be more different, but man, eh, do I feel that rage about not being allowed back in the room. It was during Mandy's pregnancy, which it was during like COVID times. So everything was weird and it was, it's a different context because I understand that they have rules about like, oh, let's make sure, let's give the woman a chance to be separate from the man who's accompanying her to make sure that like, if she has a problem, she can talk to us. Because that is like, that's a reality. That's fine. But man, every fucking time we did anything. Cause Manny had like a doctor's visit or more a week during her pregnancy. And every time we'd be like, well, can I go with her for this one? She's really anxious today because you're going to jab a needle into our,
our fetus baby in her belly. And they're like, no, you wait out here. Like, okay, thanks. Great. I'm glad this isn't stressful for anyone. I'm sure my wife will love handling this by herself. I fucking hate that. Again, totally different context and I understand generally, but oh my God, I hate that so much. Especially cause like for this one, Molly didn't. Didn't have to go with you. She wanted to go with you. She was trying to like help or you know, just make then for them to be like, oh, you you are not allowed. Okay.
Yeah, they dismissed her. Like, I mean, they were very like, just like, no, you'll wait here.
Yeah, well, they do it. They must do it 100 times a day because every even at the maternity doctor, they were just like, you can't come in. Get out of here. Like I was an idiot and I should have known that. I'm like, this is my first time ever doing any of this. So I, why would I know that? Okay. No, I have. I feel that very deeply. Whatever that rage Molly felt. That's the worst, but it's fine. They didn't only almost did the wrong thing for you.
Very close, but yeah, no, not quite.
They got you good enough, which is what I look for in my medical procedures.
Yeah. Love good enough.
Whenever I go to the doctor, I'm like, hey, I've got this lump. I don't really want you to put too much effort out, but could you take a good enough look at it that I'll probably be fine? And I really appreciate it. It's all my insurance will cover.
Well, they did good enough. And then of course I had the the best, least stressful, no palpitation weekend ever. And then I turned that thing in Sunday and then yesterday my chest was just, I was sitting down, we were watching a movie while I was just watching a movie. And all of a sudden my chest was like, remember me asshole. Get up, get up, get up, get up. I was like, fucking lie. And again, another like two hour episode.
She just manufactured it. I don't know what it would be, but you should have sought out experiences to like stress yourself out. So when you take it off and turn it in, you're just like, God, what a weekend. They'll have to believe me.
I didn't know watching a movie would trigger. I don't know. Like maybe I was I was warm, like my cat was sitting on my lap.
Was it a scary movie?
No, it to be honest, it was a few good men, like Tom Cruise movie from the 90s, very.
Yeah, it's not very scary at all.
Very mild courtroom drama.
I would say it might have been because you were sitting down because that can have a pretty heavy effect on heart symptoms like that. But I find it hard to imagine contexts in which I think you'd be standing up. So I feel like that's your natural state of being.
Well, one of my mistakes, I did go on a walk on Saturday and it was a nice, warm day. I got like halfway into this walk, like 20, 30 minutes into this walk. And I like, for whatever reason, I had like a, I don't know, cartoon flashback of like reading the paper, me holding the paper. And it's like, try to avoid activities that may cause you to sweat. And it's a hot, kind of humid day and I'm halfway into this walk, starting to like drip sweat from my bald head. I was like, oh no. I was like, I gotta walk back. I just like look and there's this hill and then the hill grew as I looked at it. And I just was like real slow walking back like kind of standing in the shade for a minute like, yeah, wouldn't want to sweat that by my stickies to unsticky. Why have I done this?
I'm a little surprised you didn't just laid out in the shade and call Molly to come pick you up.
I'm not a quitter. I was gonna make it back.
Hey, getting picked up and being brought back counts as making it back. I'm pretty sure.
I don't know. I it doesn't sound like finishing the walk.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Finishing the walk is not what we were talking about. Making it back home safely is what we were talking about.
Anyway, that's it. As of right now, I still occasionally have a little chest burp fluttery feelings. No pain. Everyone just keeps asking how the pain is. It's like if I had to give it a number, it'd be like a one or a two. There's not really pain. It's just like, I kind of noticed that it feels like my chest drank a lot of soda and is burping in the wrong organs.
Oh, it's nothing. Nothing at all. No pain. Just burping into my spleen. Just, you know, random gas pockets going into my liver.
It's it's like a weird fluttery fluttery like I don't feel. I don't know.
My pancreas is jumping today, but you know, it's not that bad.
Whatever. But I'm alive for now, so that's good.
We're all alive for now. That's the promise.
Thanks Joker.
I don't know why I was. I heard problem coming out of your mouth at the end of that one.
I thought he was gonna say that's the problem.
All right, all right, all right. Enough fun. Now's the time not for fun.
I was having so much between being blown off by James and wearing a heart monitor. I can't wait for the less fun.
Oh, you get about to be blown off by me because I was struggling.
Excuse me?
Blow you off so good.
Oh, man. Hope that's not a markiplier promise.
Well, both will take turns blowing you off.
Exactly.
Guys, my heart can't take this.
So I was traveling internationally and that's my excuse for not coming up with the perfectest crime, which is something that I made a very bold proclamation that I would have ready and it would be like, it's gonna be the perfectest crime. This is where it'd be awesome if I suddenly said, just kidding, and unleashed the perfectest crime upon you. And then like informational packets would be hand delivered to you in your office doors. And so get ready for anything goes part whatever.
Nevermind, stay out.
I even thought about doing that other episode where it's like we the the opposite of the one I did before, but I'm going to save that because now that we're doing weekly, there are more opportunities for things to have happened in the wider world, you know, international events and whatnot, gaming news of various types that have occurred, horrible upsets that have plagued society that are being put to the forefront. It's time to break it all out because, boy, howdy, I couldn't figure the rest of the perfectest crime out. Again, I was traveling internationally. I did a I did a flight out to
Thailand and that's a 20 hour journey and then did it right back, stayed one day and turned right back around.
That's a lot of flying for one day.
Yeah, and you'd think if I was up on a plane, I would be able to just like brainstorm and think in right.
Trapped in a room with nothing but your thoughts and a writing utensil.
You're right, and I sure did.
I know that sounds rough, but I have to do the same thing this week, only it's eight hours and I'm driving and it's nationally, not internationally.
I'm traveling nationally.
And I'm traveling less, but it's basically the same.
Internet, not internationally, internationally.
Internationally.
Inside of a nation.
Yeah, not outer national, international.
Just to give you guys some more time to get up there, you know, there's little delivery robots that prowl the streets.
That fall off the curb and go, please help me up. Please help me up. And nobody helps them because they're like, fuck you, little robot.
Haven't heard that. So I always thought those things were like little and weak and and they could barely drive. Just in the past few weeks, those little delivery robots have smashed through bus shelters twice.
Yikes.
They've smashed through the glass of a bus shelter just.
What do these things look like? They look like very large, remote controlled coolers.
Yeah, yeah.
They're not like. Like car sized or anything, but that is stronger. I would, I would have thought they'd be little pushovers. I would, it seems bad that they could cause that much damage.
You want to see a video of it? I have one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a joke, but I, there was a whole, I think it was a NPR journalist who did a whole piece on this place in England, which was one of the first cities to implement this sort of like delivery robot scheme as, as like a citywide service kind of thing. And literally she, she has a, she did a very long, like journalistic look at it. And there, she had all these clips of them like falling over or getting stuck and being like, hello, I am stuck. Please pull me out of this mud. But like being really like, kind of funny, but kind of obnoxious and none of them destroyed anything.
Yeah, well, the uprising has begun, so beware.
That's not good.
Yeah, check this out.
Oh no. Bro, does he realize? Oh, he blinks. God, I hate that.
If they're gonna have a blink, they should have to do like a little, like he's an animal, like he's all blink, blink.
And just carries on.
So I'm, I'm hoping that this isn't like, cause you never know these days with like AI videos and whatnot. Cause there's a little bit of a jump there, but it seems like it's not.
It does have a weird sort of jump and it's real, it's got a ton of aliasing, so it's pretty hard to tell. This honestly looks like it could be like OTR in Cincinnati. Do you know where this is? Some like St. Louis?
This is Chicago.
Chicago? Okay. It looks like some Midwest city.
Oh, they ripped off Cincinnati to begin with, so it's right. That sounds right.
Yeah, that, that tracks.
Uh, but anyway, so that was one of two incidences. So watch out for those that apparently have way higher torque than you could possibly imagine. Low speed, extreme torque, they will break your kneecaps backwards and then keep going.
I have also seen videos of those things getting absolutely fucking demolished in crosswalks. Cause they do have to, they cross roads and they follow, they follow the rules of the crosswalk without any of the human intuition that keeps humans alive. And there are plenty of clips of people. Just not stopping and turning right on red and just like
Cause they they're little guys and they don't destroy cars, cars destroy them.
And I will say this, I will never order from one because I'd be embarrassed to meet it outside. Has anyone you guys who are in the audience ever ordered from one of these things?
I think the only context I can imagine that, and then see this is the thing too, is I was a lazy college kid, but I have seen that these are popular in like college towns where it's like you can order, you order some food or you order some something from a convenience store type place and it brings it like, brings it to your dorm, cause you live, cause you know, that's big business. There's however many hundreds of kids all living in one building. So it makes sense for them to, but even still, even in college, I was such a lazy college kid. I could still walk up the street to go to the gas station or walk down the other way to go to the Kroger or whatever. Like it wasn't that, wasn't that hard? And it would be very embarrassing. Also, this is specific, but the place, the hall that Mark and I lived in our freshman year of college.
Do you remember the big fucking steps from Calhoun Street down to to get into Sidde Hall?
Oh yeah, yeah. The, the two levels down there.
I just love the image of one of those things getting to the top of those and then just be like,
like all the way down, trying to get to the dorm.
UC would not be an ideal campus for those things.
No, every 50 feet is another stairs up or down.
Or steep hill or yeah.
Well, they've got the torque for hills, apparently.
Yeah. I mean, they could just plow right through one of the walls or.
Now some of UC's buildings, they could probably get through the walls. Those are some old buildings at some spots.
Do you see they're tearing down the old cement sadness tower? Whatever that Crowley, whatever that one was called.
Oh no, why?
It looked like a Soviet. Prison?
It's like the largest, single, poor, concrete structure.
Yeah, something like that. It was an expensive and huge pain in the ass to take down. I did hear that. It was obscenely expensive just to remove that building.
It is full of concrete. It is one big slab. That thing probably doesn't want to come apart.
They're just like the wheels of progress. I don't know. They're getting rid of it so they can build some new building that'll look horrific or be really stupid in thirty years. I don't know. Yeah, I think it was honestly, as much as it's been really difficult to remove. I think it was so old that it was like, parts of it were uninhabitable because it was no longer like, it was no longer watertight. And there were literal, there were like areas that were just quarantined off because they were flooding or every time it rained, it blew, whatever ring. So as much as it's hard to take down, it's, I think it was also just a really old shithole because it's just an old building, but.
Hard to fix potholes on a building and it's hard to rewire something like that, probably.
I've never seen a concrete patio slab last for more than a decade. I have a hard time imagining why a concrete building was ever a good idea. But so it goes.
Hey, you know, dams can last, but you know, whatever.
That's true.
Now we're getting into the real competition. So anything goes, guys. Entertain the audience at home. They are yearning, yearning for the comedy. They were promised it.
Oh, that's what we're supposed to be have been doing this whole time.
Oh, should I flip to see who goes first?
Oh, I suppose.
Head Bob, tails Wade. Well, usually it's the other way, but I'm going to switch it up this time. Whoa. Oh, head Bob.
That's me. I'm head Bob.
Bob, actually you go now, even though you technically offered up the Cincinnati thing.
Hey, I got good news.
I love good news.
Sora is shutting down or has been shut down. Eh?
Right.
This is the sign, the bubble is bursting. If you, I don't know, I'm verging on a Trump impression there, but if you don't know, OpenAI has many services and OpenAI is the company that runs ChatGPT. One of the things they had that was terrible to behold and shocking to look at was a service that would generate videos from text prompts. So you can make a video of Will Smith eating spaghetti, so on and so forth. The service was called Sora and it has been or is imminently will be shutting down. The reasons for this are not as victorious as I might have hoped, but still, you know what? I feel like it's a win for society.
This is probably the biggest, like most widely known AI product that I think I've seen going offline because it's not, I mean, the reason's not good. It's because it's not profitable, but it's not like they had an epiphany and they were like, oh, this isn't good for people, is it? Oh, we are sort of stealing copyrighted works to, they don't give a shit. They have not come around on any of those issues, but it's shut down because probably speculation is that OpenAI is looking to do an IPO, an initial public offering, essentially to become publicly traded company. It's what you do to, to then have, you know, be on the stock exchange, basically. And when you do that as a company, you have to open your books to the public. You have to open, or at least to investors, you have to open up your books.
And people have to look at how much money you're making, how much money you're spending. Are you a profitable company? Apparently while the results of it were pretty crazy, techno, technically speaking, and pretty terrifying, humanly speaking, apparently it was costing them something like $15 million a day just to run the compute power required to run Sora as a service, which just again generates short video clips from words. So you just tell it what you want. I want a video of a person wearing a trench coat, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It generates video, whatever, but $15 million a day. I can tell you, I don't think.
Consumers are paying 15 million plus dollars a day to get videos that they can post on their Facebook page so that their grandma will like it or vice versa. Yeah, because it was such a money burning garbage fire. They were like, let's shut that down so that investors will actually maybe invest. But anyway, I just feel like that's generally a victory for humananities. Humant. What's that word? Humanity.
Humananities.
I'm a human man and that's a victory for us humanin- inanities. Humannan. Humann.
I think this rides on the coattails, not if, wait, unless you were gonna say something about the Disney thing.
Uh, of the Disney thing.
Okay, no, okay, the Disney thing. So this is simultaneously coming along the, the legs of. OpenAI had a Disney deal for like a billion dollars. It was like Disney was like, yeah, you can use all of our property to train your AI.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that was a, a week or two later, Disney was like, we're getting out of the deal. I can't imagine why. Not sure what terms, but also I'm like, who at Disney thought it was a good idea? Like, yeah. Who allowed that? Disney is so protective typically of their stuff that that's wild. They were like, yeah, use it.
Yeah, well, who would do something bad with an AI product? It's only used for good stuff.
Yeah, yeah. See how it's making the world better all around us? It's so good. They just didn't like the AI Dishub.
The one.
I think he's going for a, a mashup of Pornhub and Disney and they called it AI Dishub. I totally came with you on that journey and I do.
Thank you.
I respect how accurate that is because a hundred percent, the first query that they had, someone was like, oh, they have Disney IP in the, in the video generation thing. Naked Elsa sucking on like immediately. The absolute first thing that someone typed in was something horrific with some Disney property. A hundred percent.
Olaf's nose, but it's actually a penis.
Olaf sex robot dildo nose.
Help me step snowman. I'm melting.
And then we got sued by Disney.
Yeah, it's on the way.
Allegedly, allegedly.
We're being allegedly sued by Disney.
No, no, allegedly, all the things we said before.
Oh, yes, allegedly, that stuff I said.
Yep, yep, yep. Anyway, who I I gave you a point for AI Dishub, so it's on the record that that was your idea, Wade.
That's Wade's idea. Yep.
Yeah, that was the Wade's point, Wade's idea.
That's just go after him. Just go after him. Wade invented that.
That's why it's an LLC for limited liability company.
How quickly can someone change their name?
You just switch with that old guy.
That's true. That guy's like, I got the wrong test. I'm being sued by Disney. This is a terrible week.
FBI kicks down your office door like, you're arrested. You're just like, what? Oh, you must be looking for that younger Wade. Oh, look, I don't have any hair. Look how old I am. I must be a guru.
A guru. They said a ghoul.
A guru. Yes, I must be a guru. Ooh.
A guru.
Fear me. Ooh.
All right. All right. Fun time's over for you, Bob. You've gotten enough points.
Not nearly.
Wade, your turn.
Let's turn the globe a little bit. We're going to Johannesburg, right over in South Africa. There's a mayoral candidate who's really trying hard to get the city to root for her, vote for her. And by doing so, she decided to go snorkeling as a big campaign, vote for me. But do you know why it's effective? Because where she went snorkeling was just like an average city street where they've had a water leak for years that they haven't fixed. So she went snorkeling in this big pool of just pissing out water that's been wasted for how many years?
What?
I don't know how long it's been going. Apparently a very long time.
Did she put some chlorine tablets in first?
I had to, well, based on the pictures, it certainly doesn't look like it. She did look for fish in the muddy, gross looking water, but I don't think she found any.
Oh, I think I got one. Ah, another turd. Ah, damn it. I'll find it down.
This place is known as the city of gold, apparently. The pool has been there for about three years. They call it a pool of water.
Oh, God.
And it looks like just mounds of dirt with like a house across the street. And there's like water, kinda, maybe it's water she's splashing out. It's got this really shitty little like do not cross tape line to keep people out. Half collapsed. And then this picture, hold on, maybe I should share the picture. There's a single boot in the background. Real good boot.
The single boot.
There you go. They are splashing. There's the little tape line and there's the boot.
There's a boot. There's a boot.
Just a boot.
I forgot the whole she's running for mayor thing. This is just some random. All right.
She's running for mayor.
Via AP News, which is all my comedy news. I always take it from them.
That's really gross.
I'm sure there's only good stuff in that hole.
Is she in the lead?
No clue. This was the event. The article just came out a few days ago, so I'm not sure that they've had any kind of election since.
All right. Okay. Well, that's, uh, that's horrifying. Um, well done. I give you a point. Don't know why I did, but I give you one.
All right, Bob, back to you.
Did you guys know that penguins fuck?
Yeah, I have a loose idea of it.
Wait, do they lay eggs?
They do lay eggs.
I'm gonna blow your mind about birds if you, if you wanna go down that path.
I don't know the details of it, but I was just trying to make this article sound exciting. Guys, I figured out who's causing global warming.
Everyone is all up in arms that it's corporations spewing carbon monoxide and other greenhouse gases and record unprecedented levels and blah, blah, blah.
They're mewing? They're mewing to carbon gases?
I said spewing.
Oh, spewing. I heard mewing. Okay, nevermind.
Anyway, it's not them, guys. It's penguins. Specifically, king penguins that live in a sub Antarctic island chain have found a 40% increase in their breeding success rate, thanks to warming temperatures.
The change in climate has allowed their breeding to begin almost a month earlier than it normally does. And this has increased their breeding success rate, which has increased their proliferation as a species. It's 20,000 king penguins that live in a sub Antarctic island chain. They're doing this so that they can more effectively bang each other and make new generations of penguins. It's just science.
Okay, and so they're fucking so much that it's causing global warming?
Oh, no, they're just causing all of the extra emissions and stuff and oil.
Oh, so the ah.
They're making it happen so that they can have more babies. They were concerned about the great king penguin replacement theory. So they're just dominating the world and doing whatever they have to do so that their species may prevail. Humans be damned. Humans and other inferior species, really, all of the rest of us. It's these penguins, guys. It's definitely not corporations or anything like that. It's definitely not humanity. It's these penguins, cuz I could tell you what, climate change is not helping humans have any extra sex. We got that. We're pretty much maxed out on that.
Sex maxing.
Yeah, we're sex maxed, but these king, these king penguins have figured out that causing climate change will, I mean, a 40% increase in sex, 40%.
That's pretty good.
Imagine.
Think about it a lot. It's these penguins, guys. It's a serious issue. And I think we really need to address it, by which I mean, we should probably carpet bomb these penguins out of existence and that'll probably solve all our problems.
I've been on social media too long. My first thought was how many people are gonna be like, whenever you said 40% more sex, imagine they're gonna be like, well, 40% more of zero, still zero.
Where are you on social media that's populated by all of our parents?
You know, Twitter set to only dads who tweet mode.
Bunch of just sad like, oh man, a lot more sex. Multiply my amount of sex, it's still zero.
Wade's only social media is just r slash divorced dads.
Set a subreddit, I'm going there right now.
A hundred percent is.
It's gotta be, that sounds like something real. I'm sure it's a happy, fun place.
Got 10,000 weekly, oh man, it's people asking for help.
Oh, that's not funny. It's supposed to be funny. Come on Reddit.
I didn't expect it to be funny. Who would have thought it would be funny?
Oh man, it's talking a lot about child support questions.
All right, listen, I wasn't looking for actual divorced dads who are, look, I was thinking, we've talked about him before. Uh, Graham Barrett on TikTok and how he opens packs of divorced dad cards. That's what I was thinking r slash divorced dads would be. All right. Where's the funny one?
R slash divorced comedians.
Real divorced dads, or I don't know, whatever it is.
Uh, just, just divorced comedians.
Well, isn't that just all of them?
Oh, maybe.
Look, if Brian Regan can't make it work, I don't know who can.
Still haven't seen that guy. I hear good things from you two.
He is probably one of the defining standups who shaped the type of jokes that I make on a daily basis. So.
Yeah, same.
You have all, you have him to thank for all of this. You're welcome.
Maybe that's why I haven't watched.
He's gonna be in Ridgefield, Connecticut.
Connecticut. What happened to Connecticut?
Both Connecticut, he's gonna be in Connecticut and Connecticut.
Ridgefield, I saw CT and I was like, God, I hope this is Connecticut.
He's gonna be in Ridgefield CT, huh? I rolled, gambled, and I made it.
I mean, your other options are what, California and Colorado?
Look, I don't know how many C states there are.
You gotta sing the little song.
Look, it's actually Texas. It's the Commonwealth of Texas. Come on, get with it.
Common Texas.
What about common Texas?
You know, 1580 BCT before common Texas.
That's how they keep time down there.
That was a sweet calendar joke. Thanks, man. All right, cool.
How many points is that worth, you?
Oh man, a million and a half.
Me just took the lead.
All right, Wade, keep it going. Wait, whose turn?
Yeah, it's Wade.
All right, listen, we talked about some horny penguins. What about horny steel pipes? Because there's a pipe in Japan that grew 32 feet overnight and nobody knows how.
Wait, what?
A giant underground pipe rose 10 meters out of a construction site overnight. And everyone was like, who did this? As of the release of this information, which was a couple of weeks ago, no one knew why it happened. Is this in Tokyo? No, in Osaka. In Osaka, there was a steel pipe. I'm trying to figure out why the pipe, it looks like a bridge support. This is a big pipe. Something happened that caused it to rise 32 feet out of the ground. And everyone was like, man, they did some, they did some work last night. Show me the pipe. You see this pipe? You see this pipe right here?
Oh, what the fuck?
Apparently this part was like down here and it just whoop overnight.
This isn't just like a pipe going horizontally.
This is a pipe.
This is a pipe that looks like, I don't even know what to equate this to.
A tunnel?
It's like, it's like the Willy Wonka elevator, just the thing that is around the elevator holster, you know?
The holster, yeah, yeah, the elevator holster. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It came up out of the ground.
I think they're just leaving one important piece of information out of this article that makes it all make sense. When it came up out of the ground, it happened overnight, so not a lot of people were around. But when it came up from emanating from all around, but also from nowhere was just this classic sound that just went.
Oh, that would have been a much better description of what it is.
And then, and then an Italian guy jumped out of it.
Is this a big promotional stunt for the Super Mario Galaxy movie?
Super Mario 2. Chris Pratt's gonna come climbing out of the pipe any minute now.
Hey, guys, it's me, Mario.
Wahoo. Hey, Luigi, you like, you know, it's a high, you're a high jumper. Wow, brother.
Or it's much more serious and all people from Italy are evacuating to Japan via this pipe right now.
Osaka is the new Rome.
A tan Italian guy climbs up out of the pipe and goes, ah, addio, mio, but in Italian.
We will trade you our pizza for, oh, some hibachi, trade some pizza for hibachi. Hibachi sounds really good right now.
You guys want to go hibachi? Let's go after this recording.
Please.
Oh, can we record videos of hibachi? Can we just do an episode that's just our reaction to hibachi? Just a camera set up and, and we're just like the, the flame or whatever. And we're just like.
Have you seen that video of like, it's a bunch of guys just that threw like a Molotov down a long, big, empty pipe? And so it's some kind of mesh on top. So the, some of her standing over and some, and they're filming down and you, you see it go down way, way far, super far down, just falling for like five, six seconds straight. And then it hits the bottom and like this wall of flame comes up and all the guys are just like,
just like naturally, just cause it's just comes out as a human thing, just, oh, it just, it was very monkey like.
That's a hundred percent how I would react if I was standing over that when it happened. I'm not a, no judgment whatsoever. I get that.
Yeah. Just, it's just something like that reminds me that, oh yeah, we came from apes.
Would they drop it like a propane pipe? Like why, why are the big boom?
It must've been like a big dig hole from a who knows what.
Yeah. Had some gas in the, but it was, wasn't a good idea. I assure you this, especially standing over it.
Sounds fucking awesome. What are you talking about?
I know from history of growing up that Molotovs were never a good idea. Cause I had some friends that were like, I don't want to have to start a campfire. What if? And then it always went downhill from there.
Yeah. There's a lot of awesome bad ideas. Great name for an episode too. We should definitely do awesome bad ideas.
We should give out awards for them. Maybe name them after some classical scientist of some sort.
All right. Awesome. Bad ideas. I'm calling that for a few trips. And that's great. And that's great.
Oh, I didn't realize you were dibzing that.
I'm dibzing it.
All right. Well.
Well, one, if you, one of you beat me with a punch, I'm not going to be too upset.
I won't remember.
Unless it's the next episode.
I remember what the, the thing that I'm supposed to do, the opposite of the thing that I did before, you know? I don't even remember that.
I don't know what you just said.
I don't either.
I found a new sport for us to participate in. It's not what it sounds like. It's called the wife carrying race. We all have those now, and I'm pretty sure our wives would let us carry them. And I'm pretty sure they would encourage us to race while doing it.
Yes, they would, yeah.
If you win the race, you get a barrel of ale.
I mean, where do we sign up? This sounds pretty awesome.
All you have to do is go to, yes, this is a real place, Dorking in Surrey, which is in England. If you go to Dorking on the right Sunday of the year, you can participate in the wife carrying race. It's a real place. It's not too terribly far outside of London from the quick glance at a map that I took a minute ago.
This is not how I expected them to be carried. I looked at a picture of this.
Yeah, I know. It's, it's not about aesthetics. It's about efficiency, Mark. It's inglorious.
It's about sending a message.
I don't know what the message is.
Like a dog chasing a car.
I guess it, it, wait, are you looking up at the picture of this?
Oh, I see it. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that's, I guess that's efficient. You know, the more I think about it, I'm more like, yeah, I guess.
Be a lot more awkward if they flipped her around the other way.
So for listeners, and also because I'm not sharing the picture anyway, the picture is of a guy sort of standing pretty upright and his wife is like face down over his shoulders and his head is like between her legs. So her legs are out in front of him and he's holding her legs and then she, her top of her body is hanging down his back, kind of like a backpack. But then she's grabbing around, so she's holding on to her own legs and sort of like helping him carry and balance. It's effective. I think the worst part of this is it's a quick race, but the woman has to be basically upside down the whole time. You must get a terrible head rush.
If he stops all of a sudden, she's gonna break her nose.
How hard do you think his ass is?
Well, based on what I'm carrying and running, probably pretty firm.
I don't think this picture is of the winning couple, but the winners this year were two Finnish. I think it's Finnish, right? Yes, two Finnish people. Timu Tuvinen, Tuvinen, Tovinen. Oh, man, no chance. And Hatta Lainen, Lainen. 0% chance those are right. Both Finnish, apparently a Finnish couple in one minute and 45 seconds, which is pretty fast. It's not a very long race. We could do distance racing. I feel like I'd be better at distance racing. I'm not really a sprinter, you know? No one is disadvantaged at this. There's no height advantages. There's, I feel like we would all be on pretty good footing. I mean, any, if anyone's disadvantaged, it's me because I probably, I would say I'm in the worst shape of us in terms of just like running ability.
I actually don't know. You've been walking every day, right? I swear I have not done any cardio at all because if I do any cardio at all, I am dead for the rest of the day. I go up a hill and I'm out of breath. It's truly terrible and I need to fix that.
I hear if you go up enough hills, it gets easier.
And you get to listen to Kate Bush while you do it.
I don't get that one, but I'm sure it's funny.
That's stupid. Was that from Stranger Things?
Well, that's where it's known from. Oh, oh.
If I only could.
I'm a Kate Bush. I'd be running up that hill. I get you. Okay. Yeah.
Say it. God, we had an old episode where I got critiqued for saying God so many times. Do it.
Well, I didn't get critique. Who critiqued?
God. Did God critique you?
God got halfway through the episode was like, I can't, man.
Like, I'm gonna skip this one. Is this asshole gonna keep doing callbacks this whole time?
I've listened to every other episode. I'm gonna skip this one. I can't do it anymore. Fucking guy.
And neither is my son. Jesus, pack up. We're going home.
I'm gonna confuse him with another weight at the hospital just to show him who's boss.
Oh, that bitch. Let there be ten Wades of varying ages at this next visit.
Let everyone for the rest of his life think that he's 78 years old.
And people say Old Testament God isn't the real one. I knew it.
All right, Wade, you have one more to close it out.
Did you know in New Zealand, you can't own a gun before 18? You can't possess marijuana or distribute marijuana unless it's medical. But apparently if you're a dumb teenager, you can accidentally donate your gun and marijuana to charity.
Who's a whoa?
Wait, oh, whoa?
So there were two teenagers in New Zealand that were apparently getting their car fixed. And they had a backpack full of goodies that they actually left right outside of a charity donation center. So whenever someone saw the backpack, they're like, oh, someone donated a backpack. And they went to go through the backpack and found a lot of weed, an air pistol. Uh, what else was in the bag? Uh, uh, uh, uh, some other shit in there, whatever, too. I think money. I think there was a bag of money. And like they, the person who found the bag and found all this stuff was like, I don't think we can put this up in our charity place. So I'm just gonna call the police. Uh, the teens came back later, very upset. They were very agitated that they left all of their weed gun and money. It's apparently at the charity donation center.
I don't think it ended well for them. If I had to guess, I don't know the full result, but, uh.
How old were they?
I don't know if it gives their exact age. I just get teenager. I think they're under 18, but they're in New Zealand. So that means a day older than us, but younger.
Not great.
A day older than us, but they spin the other way when you punch them.
Yes.
That's funny. That's that. That's where the point is.
That's a hemisphere joke right there, baby.
Fuck.
Uh, good one there. Good one.
Yeah, I think because they're, they're under 18. I think that a lot of the details are probably sealed or whatever, because they're juvenile.
What's the gun law in, in New Zealand?
My only knowledge about it is that it's fairly strict. And I believe an air pistol is not necessarily like a, not like an airsoft gun, but it does shoot like, uh, well, it shoots with air. It's air propulsion, but it does shoot like bullets still, not like plastic BBs or, or even metal BBs. Like it shoots bullet shaped projectiles potentially, but I'm not a hundred percent sure. And I believe New Zealand has very strict laws about gun ownership and registration and stuff, but I don't actually know for sure.
I would imagine so. It says that people under 18 can't possess air pistols without a license and adult supervision. So, oh, they also found a police scanner in their bags. They had a police scanner, drugs, money, air pistol.
Oh, okay. This is a criminal duo. I mean,
these guys just wanted to be cops. They were like, oh, we'll listen to the police scanner and we'll have this weapon just for safety. And they must have listened in and beat the cops to a drug bust and apprehended the drug dealers and they were gonna take all that stuff to the, I'm sure that's what was happening.
Heroes. They're heroes.
And they were hanging outside of a charity. So you know they're good people.
Yeah. What kind of criminal hangs out outside a charity shop? That's cop activity right there.
Yeah, that's cop. That's hero activity, actually.
And I know what they're doing.
Air rifles I knew could be powerful. There's a video called an air rifle that's more powerful than a firearm. And I was like, there's no way. And then I see him shooting it on the, this metal target is like, it's a 72 caliber air rifle.
I don't even know what that means, but I know it's big.
Seventy, yeah, wait. Does that mean it's bigger than a 50 caliber like sniper rifle? Cause those are, those are big.
Yeah, point seven two inches. So I guess a caliber is like, that's what that is.
That's like a small artillery shell. The fuck?
You should see the ones that shoot artillery shells.
Artillery. Nice.
Thanks. Thank you. I was so scared you'd repeat me to the joke. Cause I was like artillery. Just wait for Bob to give me, to give me an in.
I'll give you.
Give him another pity point.
Hey, pity win is still a win.
All right, I'll go artillery. Okay, I got you. I got you, buddy. All right, we're gonna wrap that up there. Well done, boys and boys. Uh, Bob, uh, you got dog handman?
Dog hand medicine.
Dog hand medicine, man. That's right. Dog hand man. That's what it is. All right. You got Wade Dismissor, anal probulator, goodbye, Crossley Tower, sore shutting down, yay, global warming from Penguins, Mario Pipe, wife carrying race, hemisphere joke.
Yeah, got that hemisphere point.
You got a total of nine points there. Wade, now do we count this interrupting point? I don't know if the episode started.
Baby, did I interrupt again? Do I get a point for that?
No, it was a minus point.
It was a minus. Oh shit, no I didn't. Rewind.
Yeah, no, I think Wade's right. I think it counts. I think it's on something there.
Damn it.
Alright, well, I guess it's in there. So that's a minus one on the interruption.
Oh, I fell for it.
You got minus zero for think about what you've done. I don't remember what that was.
That could be a lot of things.
Ben, this was, this one started off real rough for you, didn't it?
It sure did.
But you got the James pity point, which negates the interrupting thing. So we're gonna go for your EKG champion. Molly didn't tell me it was important. Was hoping you'd be one of the hairless ones.
Hmm, yeah, she was.
AI diss hub, which your lawsuit is in the mail. Snorkel in poop water, Japan pipe, Italian evacuation tube. Very funny. And New Zealand and artillery. It's nine to nine.
Oh.
That include my minus one?
Yes, that did.
I shouldn't have let you have that artillery point.
The artillery really got you there.
I shouldn't have let me have that minus one.
If only.
Alright, well, he'll spin it. I'll go to the viewers. We'll get one spin and then it'll be a tie.
Oh, I have to do that. I'm just sitting here like, I can't wait for Mark to pull the wheels up.
Right, right, right. That's my thing. I do that.
We've gotten rusty only doing one episode a week.
I know. After how much we were recording for two a week, especially when like Mark was like, oh, I'm gonna be bathing in blood for the next three weeks, so we'll have to get ahead. Doing one a week feels like I don't see you guys for like months at a time.
Yeah, but lots to catch up on. It's great.
Yeah, it's fun.
Even though we've actually been doing games and still spending time recording.
I told you I was gonna talk about something before we hit record that I didn't even talk about. And now I'm not gonna.
Our saver for next one. If you don't win.
Alright, the total number of spins shall be?
Oh, two.
Two of them. Would you like to add, sir?
Made the judge make this face.
Made the judge make the mark face.
We're not gonna, we're gonna, what is the mark face?
Also, just so it's on recording, I'm gonna slowly scroll this list. Cause I didn't notice, and I don't know if it's always been like this, but I, I click this shuffle button every time we spin the wheel, just to mix them up. The other button in this pair of buttons is clear all.
Oh God.
With one fucking click, I could just stop hovering over.
No, no, no, no. Anyway, so I'm just gonna get this on video. I'm just gonna scroll this list.
That's good. That's good. Yeah.
I'm sure nothing bad will ever happen. We're on 101 entries and I've still never accidentally clicked the button that deletes all of the entries, but I'm sure it'll be fine.
Editors, just save that for us somewhere. Cause it sounds like we won't still know where it is, but save that for us.
All right, two spins it is.
Can't see anything.
It's the one you just had.
Hey Wade, you made me make that face because of the poop water. That was literally, it was like, oh, hey, that's good.
No.
Have we ever had the days at addition come up?
I don't think so. That was a less than 1% chance of that happening.
Way back in the beginning when we had less entries, I think it happened, but it's been a long time.
Well, Bob, here comes your point.
A point for Bob and a tie for Mark. A point for Bob and a tie for Mark. Come on, Will. Oh, lie points don't count. We don't have any lie points. Does that mean we respin or does that mean it's useless? I forget how we've done this in the past.
I'm gonna go for a respin. I feel like if it doesn't apply, which this doesn't, there are no lie points.
Bob and I would have taken the win. Well, I guess it doesn't count. We'll move on. We have a winner.
Most personal attacks.
I got attacked the most. I don't know who it's.
Yeah, but is this to the attacker or attackee?
I don't feel like I lobbed a lot of personal attacks, but I do feel like Wade got picked on a little bit in this episode, so I'm confused.
So Bob, you have a point for Wade Dismissor. I'd say James made the most personal attacks, but either way Wade was getting attacked.
I think this usually goes to the person who does the attacking.
Okay, if it does, then that would be to Bob and it would be a tie.
But you're the judge, so you get to, I guess you rule how you want it to go.
I mean, I think of the word of law here applies to most personal attacks, meaning that they did the most, which would be Bob for having Wade Dismissor there. So I think I have to call that a tie.
My son did that. I get credit for that.
That's true. Given that he's half your DNA, therefore half you.
Is still worth one whole point though, right?
Yep, yep, yep. It sure is.
Okay, I thought you were about to lead that into, and so it's one half of a point and.
Yeah, I could convolute this to get out of the wheel, but I'm gonna.
Does that mean we have to do the winner wheel spin?
Yeah.
Brave. Mark is feeling brave. That is.
And for some, my head says it's at 23%.
I have it written down. It's 23%.
So plus 2%, so at a solid 25.
I think we add after, don't we?
We add after, yeah.
So 23% of 360 is 82.8.
83.
That somehow looks a lot more reasonable than 87 did.
That's more like what I thought it was gonna be.
Let's throw down, gentlemen.
The Wheel of Fate.
Oh, oh, oh, come on!
Oh, God. Oh, my God. It was. It was not even close and then it was like, actually back to one man show. What the fuck?
Oh, I thought that was a man. All right.
That's brutal. Well, Bob, good luck. I'm not even gonna be in town to help write it.
That's not good. I'm the worst at writing these things.
Oh, well, the Bob Mark show.
That's okay. I'll write my own show.
Yeah, Mark, you write your own one man show.
I'll write my own show.
You get you.
I'll get me.
It resets to 6% then? Is that the deal?
Yes, it resets to 6. I could have been completely arbitrary in my judging of those previous wheel spins. I feel like this is entirely my own fault. Nobody wins. Well, I guess, wait, does this count as a me win or not?
Yeah, I think it's nobody wins.
Yeah, nobody wins or both of you guys win. I can't remember.
Whoever does that in the subreddit, tell us.
Tell us how we do our own shit, please.
Tell us how this show works.
God, we need to print out Bible consti- like little Bible sized constitutional, little pocket constitution.
Yeah, I, it's, it's a living constitution, by which I mean, I don't remember.
Uh, anyway, congratulations, guys. You somehow, uh, did it. I think you did it. You did it. You both did it.
We did it? Is this a good thing that we, that had happened?
Mutual neutral speech.
Neutrally assured destruction.
Wait, your speech first.
Uh, Mark, listen, great episode. It was weird from the start. I knew things were weird last week whenever my heart was acting up and James dismissed me. It only makes sense we'd have a weird ending on this episode. So prepare yourselves for not weird, but just one man show, I guess.
Uh, well done.
I'll be okay.
I'm fine. Don't ignore the fact that I missed the mute button there for a solid 10 seconds. I'm fine. Everything's fine.
Face you were doing, I was like, is this a bit or is he dying?
I know, that's just the face I make when it feels like I'm about to cough up my tongue.
Oh, I don't like that.
Neutral speech, a non-loser speech, we'll call it. Honestly, I feel a little bad. I feel like the winner's wheel is Always a gamble and Mark was very fair in his point judgments and was very didn't didn't do like I do and weasel out of things and make sure he doesn't have to deal with the wheel, but it's because the wheel should have been in his favor and he really just he really just got it right on the chin there. But you're a trooper and an honest man and probably more honest than I've ever been on this show. So you have to respect it, but I have to feel a little bad because you didn't deserve it. But we don't all get what we deserve, do we?
No, we do not, I think. But hey, next week, I'm gonna get something, aren't you?
Yeah, I, yes. It'll probably be good. Probably either that or we'll forget. Yeah, I'm gonna text five minutes before and be like, hey, I'm gonna be late. And also, who's hosting?
Oh, fuck. No, no. That sounds right.
It does. All right. Thank you, everybody so much for listening and or watching to this podcast. Be sure to follow the podcast for more episodes. You do that by clicking the follow button, wherever that is. And also click the follow button on these lovely gentlemen. It's in the middle of their faces. And if you can't find it, then you need to update your device because there's important security enhancements that you probably need. Have a good day. Listen to more destructible podcast.
Page updated October 30, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated