Worst Tech Issues (Compilation)

No need adjust your computer settings, this compilation features some the most memorable moments where things went wrong in all the right ways. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

• 0:00Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 0:30Speaker 01

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• 1:00Speaker 02

  This episode of Distractables is presented to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet.

• 1:05Speaker 03

  The folks over at T-Mobile have some big news for you. They now have the fastest 5G home internet, according to the experts at Ookla Speed Test.

• 1:12Speaker 04

  So if you want the fastest 5G speeds with a five-year price guarantee, visit t-mobile.com/homeinternet to check availability.

• 1:19Speaker 02

  Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on Ookla Speed Test. Intelligence data, second half 2025. All rights reserved.

• 1:28Speaker 05

  From camera calamity to synthetic eclipses. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. It's time for Worst Tech Issues.

• 1:40Speaker 04

  Mark is either gone or sitting very still. Hello? He's thinking. Hello? Hello? I'll try a simple one. Mark, how many fingers? Hello? Oh, wait, I know how to fix this. Mark, how many fingers? Hello? I texted you. Hello? You know what, Bob? I'm gonna give you a good internet point. Thanks. That seems fair.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  Hello? They tried to take me out. It didn't work. The world government.

• 2:04Speaker 03

  Oh, sweet fucking Jesus.

• 2:06Speaker 02

  No, no, not again. Hello?

• 2:10Speaker 04

  Alright, sorry everyone. We had to break in the middle of our context there. Mark's tub got us all very wet. So we had to take a moment to dry off, but uh, uh, where we were chatting just a moment ago, which is right where we're picking up for you guys, but a few minutes later for us. Oh, there they are. Red and...

• 2:25Speaker 02

  What happened? Hello? Like, what, why did? Can you hear me? Suddenly my, a light went out and this, my headphones went out.

• 2:33Speaker 03

  That's not good. Unplug it and plug it back in. Unplug it and plug it back in.

• 2:39Speaker 02

  For everyone listening, I am now rendered deaf, but I don't know why, because my computer is still on, internet's still working. They can hear me, but I can't hear them. Bob's pointing at a mouse. Hold on. It's, what happened was, I think, I think the guys outside working on things blew us very specific fuse. That is only like to one plug in this office.

• 3:00Speaker 04

  Control it. Control it.

• 3:04Speaker 03

  Look at this one. It's like a gold camo.

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Why are you showing your controllers? I can't understand you. The back of the controller?

• 3:10Speaker 03

  This one doesn't have the USB C though, which is disappointing.

• 3:13Speaker 02

  Back, back. Xbox. USB. USB plug? The plug, plug a USB in. Oh, man. Okay, hold on. Let me, let me triple shoot.

• 3:21Speaker 04

  Lenses. Oh my God, is that a Mark ass shot in 2024? Editors, you know you gotta do with that.

• 3:28Speaker 03

  What? Look, look, look at Cave Band Mark. I gotta go check the fuse box. I'll be right back.

• 3:35Speaker 04

  The fuse box. So easy. A Mark Cave Band can do it.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Hey guys, my computer is dying.

• 3:40Speaker 04

  Uh oh.

• 3:41Speaker 03

  Fucking shit. I need to go get the charger for my laptop or apparently it's at 10% battery.

• 3:46Speaker 04

  Run, run!

• 3:49Speaker 03

  My chair closes, locks my office door from opening. Hang on.

• 3:53Speaker 04

  Alright.

• 3:55Speaker 04

  Head empty, foam wet, not on walls. It's not my fault.

• 3:59Speaker 03

  My laptop is dying.

• 4:05Speaker 04

  Will, this might need to be edited out depending on what's said here.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  I had it plugged in over here for a while.

• 4:10Speaker 04

  Oh no.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  I think maybe it got put in the cabinet at some point.

• 4:14Speaker 04

  I really wish he'd start talking shit about us.

• 4:17Speaker 03

  I'm not saying that you touched it. I know. The painting people moved all the shit around. Painting person.

• 4:23Speaker 04

  I feel like we shouldn't listen to that. I know. So, uh, what's up? Small talk? You got anything interesting in mind?

• 4:29Speaker 03

  Oh, laptop charger. Where did I leave you?

• 4:34Speaker 03

  Oh, it's in my backpack, which is upstairs, next to my computer. Okay. Fuck.

• 4:41Speaker 04

  I can't unlisten, but I don't think.

• 4:44Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm wearing a microphone. I wonder if they could still hear me.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Did you guys hear me that whole time?

• 4:56Speaker 04

  We were kept going like, oh no, we shouldn't listen to this.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  I found my charger, guys. It was right here, five feet away from me.

• 5:03Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 5:04Speaker 03

  Can you believe it?

• 5:05Speaker 04

  Oh, man, that's crazy. We were trying not to listen, but we couldn't help it.

• 5:10Speaker 03

  Why would you try not to listen?

• 5:11Speaker 04

  We were trying to talk over you.

• 5:14Speaker 03

  I'm the one, I'm the one who went to the bathroom wearing my love. That's the, that's the rule. Hello? Mark, are you taking the longest drink of coffee in history or are you frozen?

• 5:24Speaker 04

  Hello?

• 5:39Speaker 04

  Remember that noise Mark was talking about his computer started making? I think something might have just got horribly wrong.

• 5:46Speaker 02

  Hello. Hi.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:48Speaker 02

  Okay. All right. Yeah, that that was super weird. My Ethernet adapter just failed. I've never had that problem ever.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  And it just started working again? Or did you have to like go into the device manager or something?

• 6:01Speaker 02

  I switched to Wi-Fi. If I go into my device manager, my Ethernet is now appearing and disappearing. And the whole adapter is like on and off. And what's weird is that's a motherboard integrated Ethernet adapter.

• 6:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, that's not great.

• 6:13Speaker 02

  I don't like that that happened. Then I heard that weird fan worrying. That might not be a fan. That might be the power supply. Yeah, you might be in trouble this episode. Let's look at it this way. You know, if I were to list the.

• 6:30Speaker 02

  Why did that happen?

• 6:31Speaker 03

  Are you are you about to get consumed by a creature of the darkness? Or you all right?

• 6:36Speaker 02

  For those who are. Oh, my God.

• 6:38Speaker 03

  Oh, God. It turned itself back on.

• 6:41Speaker 02

  I'm not doing anything.

• 6:43Speaker 03

  Mark, are you in nope?

• 6:45Speaker 02

  Uh, you know, maybe I just will not look up. Uh, and I think that if we had to tie together aliens, eating people and meat eating. Nope is a perfect example, and I'm so glad you brought that up. So when it launched, it said it was gonna have like an XLR for audio in expansion thing. It came out two years after the camera came out. They finally were like, here's the plate. And I'm like, where, where am I? Why? I didn't do it.

• 7:09Speaker 03

  You OK, buddy? Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good.

• 7:17Speaker 03

  Too much abuse of the bomb switch. The camera's getting ornery.

• 7:20Speaker 02

  Hey, I ordered a new mattress. Ding dong.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 7:27Speaker 02

  So dumb.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 7:31Speaker 02

  So we have an idiot, a sleep deprived guy and a sick guy doing a podcast episode today. And this is what you get.

• 7:37Speaker 03

  Wait, you left yourself as the idiot?

• 7:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, I don't have any other excuses right now. I was telling you I was I was doing a firmware update on this thing. Oh, how's the lens like on that? We should see the lens. Uh, it's the same as, uh.

• 7:50Speaker 02

  A bomb!

• 7:58Speaker 06

  It's like when you give toddlers technology and they make their first video and it's like really shitty. And they look at it embarrassed 20 years later, like, what was I thinking?

• 8:06Speaker 02

  We don't have to be these people, guys. We can change our lives for the better right now. Doesn't that blow your mind that you could just decide right now to become a different person?

• 8:16Speaker 03

  I'm gonna stand up. I'm becoming a different person as you speak. I'm gonna stand up.

• 8:23Speaker 06

  Have fun with that, fucking losers.

• 8:25Speaker 03

  I'm standing.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  Mark, your height didn't change that much.

• 8:28Speaker 06

  It did, though. I own camera.

• 8:32Speaker 06

  That's so rude of you. I'm literally out of the frame. I'm so tall.

• 8:37Speaker 04

  Plot twist, you have a little stepping stool by your chair.

• 8:40Speaker 02

  I know this is gonna rip cables out from everywhere, but here I go.

• 8:43Speaker 03

  Mark freezes and disappears again.

• 8:45Speaker 06

  Mark, no!

• 8:50Speaker 06

  Oh, everyone's frozen.

• 8:56Speaker 06

  Why did that happen? What could have possibly pulled?

• 9:02Speaker 06

  Who did that?

• 9:03Speaker 03

  You must have lost wireless fidelity for a moment.

• 9:06Speaker 06

  Fuck!

• 9:08Speaker 03

  Oh, he frot.

• 9:14Speaker 06

  Why is that happening?

• 9:16Speaker 04

  You're stretching those cables.

• 9:17Speaker 03

  Mark, I think you're still out of frame. You're gonna have to keep moving it.

• 9:21Speaker 06

  I gotta keep going. It's got so far up to travel. Here we go.

• 9:27Speaker 03

  Am I still here?

• 9:29Speaker 04

  For now.

• 9:29Speaker 03

  I appreciate you picking such a nice pose to freeze in.

• 9:35Speaker 02

  Why is it instantly our fault? That's, yeah, that's quite a leap. Well, I don't know who else to blame. It can't be my fault, so it's gotta be someone else. I'm blameless. The lie was so hard, it pushed me out of focus. I don't know what.

• 9:47Speaker 03

  Mark went flying across the room and lost focus.

• 9:50Speaker 02

  Our world is dedicating every bit of their graphical power to developing these models, and this is the progress. I'm, they're deleting me. I'm going out of focus again.

• 9:59Speaker 03

  They heard you talking shit about their AI and they were like, don't you want access to it? And you better not.

• 10:04Speaker 04

  Or Mark has been AI this whole time and the servers are just updating and he's getting blurred out because they can't process him while also updating.

• 10:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, every time Mark goes out of focus or his light turns off and on again, that's just the AI losing object permanence for a second and having to remember.

• 10:20Speaker 02

  What the hell was going on? What's going on?

• 10:22Speaker 03

  Oh, you're out of focus. That's weird.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's so strange. Segue. You always have something weird going on every time. I don't know why that's been happening. I did a firmware update for this lens, which is a weird thing to say, but it still is a little funky.

• 10:35Speaker 03

  Oh, we almost had a whole episode without Mark saying the word lens. Points to Mark for saying lens unprompted.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  Oh, God, what have I done?

• 10:45Speaker 03

  Oh, sweet Jesus. No memory card. Mark, there's no memory card. It's slot one.

• 10:50Speaker 02

  You madman. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I've never ever crossed this threshold. God, this frickin' light. I don't know. I don't know.

• 10:58Speaker 03

  For the listeners, Mark's light just turned itself off for like the dozenth time today.

• 11:03Speaker 02

  I don't know why. And here it is again. It just turns on and off. I don't get it. I can't. I'm not even like connected to it in the app. I unplugged it, turned it back on, reset it. It's still just like turns off every once in a while and then turns back on. TGP single ping.

• 11:17Speaker 03

  I like that.

• 11:18Speaker 02

  I'm frozen. Oh.

• 11:20Speaker 03

  Your thumbnail just updated, so now it's the frozen image on the side panel.

• 11:26Speaker 02

  You're so good at holding a pose. Hello.

• 11:30Speaker 03

  There he is.

• 11:30Speaker 02

  Welcome back. Uh, it froze so thoroughly, I couldn't even hit the reboot button. I had to shut the whole thing down. Your computer heard you might be upgrading it for billing. Well, better get in line because I got the other computer I just built right next to it, ready to go. Don't let them too close to each other. They'll shit talk you.

• 11:48Speaker 03

  Are you okay, Mark?

• 11:49Speaker 02

  I got a light glare on my screen that I don't remember being there before. I can't see my face when we're talking.

• 11:55Speaker 03

  Did your, did your setup move or something or?

• 11:57Speaker 02

  I don't know. That's a strange thing. Like I have my haunted light here that I still haven't fixed, but this is the other light and I don't remember seeing this harsh of a glare on this. Maybe if I just turn the light. So, well, then I lose illumination.

• 12:10Speaker 03

  Mark's got some real problems.

• 12:12Speaker 02

  Oh, but then this blessing at the back.

• 12:14Speaker 03

  Okay, I was gonna ask Mark how he's doing, but we can tell if you're watching on Spotify podcasts, if you're watching the video only available on Spotify. Uh, you could see the horrible situation that Mark is in.

• 12:24Speaker 02

  It's suffering.

• 12:25Speaker 03

  Look at the illumination levels, Mark.

• 12:29Speaker 02

  It's not, yeah, I don't have quite the same amount of edge lighting, but if it goes this way, then it's gonna just, it's gonna glare the screen and right there and literally my camera lens is like shadowed right there. Oh, that fixed it.

• 12:41Speaker 03

  Oh, perfect.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  I just moved my monitors. That's what it was. My monitor got moved to, anyway, it's all good, guys.

• 12:47Speaker 03

  All of Mark's problems are solved. That's all you've got going on over there, right?

• 12:53Speaker 02

  Such an easy fix. I'm professional. You should laugh at that. That's, I think you told it well enough to earn some.

• 13:00Speaker 04

  I think Mark is slowly being engulfed by hell the more we go into this.

• 13:04Speaker 03

  Yeah, Mark, are you second circle, third circle? How far down?

• 13:08Speaker 04

  How's that happening to you?

• 13:10Speaker 02

  People are just listening at home. I am slowly sinking into a pit of lava and I am really embracing the pain and taking it like a champ.

• 13:19Speaker 03

  You just want to see if your body can take it?

• 13:20Speaker 02

  Yes, exactly. And surprisingly, it can. It can.

• 13:23Speaker 04

  Didn't he look normal like two minutes ago?

• 13:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, my, my main light, they're just these little battery powered lights right now, because that's all I could bring with me. One of them just went out because I don't have enough plugs for anything. My camera was running out of power before this, so I had, this is my accent little like flavor light. Now it's my main light.

• 13:41Speaker 03

  Is it only red? It's not like adjustable or?

• 13:43Speaker 02

  No, I can turn it to another color, but it.

• 13:46Speaker 03

  Oh, no. Well, leave it, though.

• 13:47Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 13:48Speaker 03

  Okay, I see. I know, I'm with you. It's freaking Wade out. Wade looks like he's gonna have a panic attack.

• 13:52Speaker 04

  I don't, it's funny and scary at the same time. And I, I realize that I'm not mentally stable at the moment, but it's really, everything's really funny.

• 14:00Speaker 02

  Is this better?

• 14:01Speaker 03

  Ooh, that's way better. I love that.

• 14:03Speaker 04

  That reminds me of the thing whenever you put up to your finger and you're like, ooh, I see my finger bone. It does.

• 14:09Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, there you go.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Uh huh.

• 14:11Speaker 03

  Yeah, if you don't watch this show, now you have to.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  It's, it started out as like, millennial cringe. I'm like, yeah, I remember that. That's fucking stupid. And, and I'm me, so obviously, but Nick.

• 14:23Speaker 04

  Come back.

• 14:24Speaker 02

  I'm gone. Now my light doesn't work. My camera is, goes out of focus every once in a while. I'm, I'm just creating random timers for things to occur.

• 14:32Speaker 03

  For how much money you, you've spent on cameras and light technology, you have, you have got to have the most finicky. Lights and camera.

• 14:40Speaker 02

  Oh, I don't. This isn't the good light. That's why it's in here.

• 14:44Speaker 03

  Oh, I see.

• 14:45Speaker 02

  This isn't the good lens. That's why it's in here. This lens is 500, which is not cheap, but you were generalizing.

• 14:52Speaker 04

  I also keep all of my best stuff in boxes.

• 14:54Speaker 02

  That didn't help at all. I thought that if there was a bright behind me, it wouldn't be like, oh, that that background's bright enough.

• 15:01Speaker 04

  You really just look like you're green screened in at this point.

• 15:04Speaker 02

  You got it too.

• 15:06Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 15:06Speaker 04

  Look, I could be in Mark's office too.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  Ed, explode Mark's background.

• 15:11Speaker 03

  Wait till I do this. I'll give you something to explode on. No. There we go. There we go.

• 15:20Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 15:20Speaker 03

  There we go. Guys, my my capture card is broken.

• 15:24Speaker 02

  Dune.

• 15:25Speaker 03

  What, Dune?

• 15:26Speaker 02

  You're in Dune.

• 15:27Speaker 03

  I'm in Dune.

• 15:28Speaker 02

  Doesn't that look like the the palace in in?

• 15:31Speaker 03

  Wait, hit the the screech.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  I'll queue up the point.

• 15:34Speaker 03

  Ah.

• 15:37Speaker 03

  It started actually on almost the correct note. That actually was really close.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, but then he didn't understand what you were trying to get him to do.

• 15:44Speaker 04

  Yeah, I don't know what the hell you're referencing.

• 15:45Speaker 02

  What's wrong with that one part of Dune? Wait. Oh, it's your microphone?

• 15:53Speaker 03

  This is a really inconvenient cutout that definitely won't be exploited. I'm sure no one will ever do anything wrong with this.

• 16:02Speaker 02

  Random unrelated question. How wide can you open your mouth?

• 16:05Speaker 03

  Oh, really wide?

• 16:08Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 16:11Speaker 04

  I hate this. Everything. I hate everything. How about this?

• 16:15Speaker 02

  Oh, look at that. Is this the whole? Is this? Is this small talk? Is this your small talk?

• 16:19Speaker 04

  No, I got other small talk.

• 16:20Speaker 02

  Oh, let's do small talk. Let's move on to small talk. Wait, go ahead.

• 16:24Speaker 03

  I my understanding is that's actually true, that if you got a butthole print, if every person would have a unique butthole print. Did Mark disconnect or?

• 16:35Speaker 04

  I thought he was just that disgusted with you. Maybe he disconnected. Hello. I really thought he was just that, like, not having it with what you said.

• 16:47Speaker 04

  Oh, here's the text. Here you go.

• 16:51Speaker 04

  What were you talking about that made me think of anus chocolate?

• 16:53Speaker 03

  Something about, I was gonna bring up that we have.

• 16:57Speaker 02

  Oh, good.

• 16:58Speaker 04

  Hey, man.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  Hey, how's it going?

• 17:01Speaker 02

  What in the fuck did I walk into? Have your anus and eat it too. Oh, so fucking close.

• 17:11Speaker 04

  Best looking.

• 17:14Speaker 03

  I, I didn't shower, like, I showered yesterday morning, so it's been like more than a day since I've showered.

• 17:21Speaker 04

  Are you trying to talk yourself out of the point or into it?

• 17:23Speaker 03

  I'm just being honest. Like, I don't know how I look to you guys. I feel pretty grimy. I'm not feeling like I look that great.

• 17:29Speaker 02

  I showered just yesterday. I'm on vacation. I'm so rested and relaxed. I'm glowing practically.

• 17:36Speaker 04

  If that's how you two wanted to determine it, I guess I can go that route. I was going to say, I was gonna give it to Bob because Bob's camera quality is just so much better today, so he looks.

• 17:45Speaker 03

  I, I am, I'm more well lit. My camera is definitely doing, doing a lot of work here.

• 17:50Speaker 02

  Hold on, let me turn on studio light. Yeah.

• 17:54Speaker 04

  My god, your shoulder is so sharp.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Center stage.

• 17:59Speaker 02

  No, come on. Come on, do it.

• 18:03Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 18:04Speaker 03

  Come on, come on, do it. Come on.

• 18:07Speaker 02

  Come on.

• 18:08Speaker 03

  There you go.

• 18:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, for some reason when I turn on the center stage, it kind of falls me. And then when I turn it off, it just zooms in. But why would it zoom in?

• 18:16Speaker 03

  That's really confusing, yeah. Apparently, it can now, it was not like designed to do this, but it just started doing a thing where you can have it generate something and then take like a frame. Oh, for fuck's sake.

• 18:32Speaker 03

  Listen, listen to AI camera. Zoom out, zoom out, you fuck.

• 18:39Speaker 03

  You could take a frame, which I'm gonna indicate like this. You could take a frame of video.

• 18:45Speaker 04

  All right, well, um, our final score is twenty to seventeen after the wheel spins. Uh, Mark, would you like to give us a winner's speech?

• 18:55Speaker 03

  Mark, did you disconnect?

• 18:56Speaker 04

  Hello? He's frozen, he is frozen.

• 19:01Speaker 04

  Mark? Hi.

• 19:03Speaker 03

  Oh, hey, there he is.

• 19:04Speaker 04

  Hey, man. Welcome back.

• 19:07Speaker 02

  It was my, uh, USB thing that has the ethernet plugged into it. And I kicked it and it.

• 19:13Speaker 03

  Oh, no, wait, Mark, he's gone.

• 19:20Speaker 03

  Oh, man. Yeah, I hope he was like, I'm gonna show him how I kicked it and then he kicked it again.

• 19:26Speaker 02

  I'm back. Hey, man.

• 19:28Speaker 03

  Hey, I wouldn't kick that thing a third time.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  I didn't kick it again. It just rivers I caught up and was like, hey, you're not, you don't exist. Kick me out of the session.

• 19:40Speaker 04

  Oh, no, they could relate to it. They could relate to it. I'm sure they could. Oh, come on. Okay.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  Uh oh. Did Bob, is Bob gone? Oh, Bob, come back. What a frame, though, to leave on. That's a great frame. That's a great frame.

• 19:54Speaker 04

  Hello?

• 19:55Speaker 02

  Hey, Bob.

• 19:56Speaker 04

  There he is. Oh, okay. There we go.

• 19:58Speaker 02

  Hey, man. Welcome back.

• 20:00Speaker 03

  Wasn't like Mark where my eyes were in different directions and I was all.

• 20:04Speaker 02

  Hello?

• 20:05Speaker 03

  The reason I turned my light on is because I feel guilty about it, but possibly for the first time ever, this is.

• 20:12Speaker 00

  Coca-Cola. For the big, for the small, the short, and the tall. Peacemakers, risk takers. For the optimists, pessimists. For long distance love. For introverts and extroverts. The thinkers and the doers. For old friends and new. Coca-Cola. For everyone. Pick up some Coca-Cola at a store near you.

• 20:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, I should turn that setting off on my camera.

• 20:51Speaker 02

  That's a great setting, man. What are you trying to show us? You gotta learn to do the political gestures. Yeah, like, oh, yeah, like, if flight attendants did it, or two fingers for like the, you know, the Disney people.

• 21:03Speaker 03

  That would probably still do it. I don't even know.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  And Vs and Bs are pretty close.

• 21:08Speaker 03

  Didn't you also say before this recording to remind you to talk about something?

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Cowbell. That was it.

• 21:13Speaker 03

  Cowbell. Cause I'm walking. Oh, yeah.

• 21:17Speaker 02

  So I still, much to my chagrin, and I've talked about it endlessly, drive my Tesla that I've had for eight years, the giant piece of shit. And that's not just me, like. Hating for hating.

• 21:27Speaker 04

  No, it's been bad. It's been really bad.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  I drove it off the lot as a piece of shit. It's been a piece of shit through every year of its warranty in which it's been in service every single year for many times, same problem. And they've done full replacements on the suspension three times and now it is officially out of warranty. So if it happens again, I'm screwed. Anyway, in Tesla, there's a cowbell mode that is activated by pressing the cruise control four times. And the thing is, if I press it twice and it doesn't activate, I'm gonna press it because to activate it, you press it twice, right? I go to click, click, and it doesn't go. So I go click, click again, and then I activated cowbell mode. So for the rest of the fucking drive to Tyler's house.

• 22:17Speaker 04

  So is it, is it actually the song? Is there something weird about pressing cruise control multiple times and don't fear the reaper coming on?

• 22:24Speaker 02

  It is exactly, it was exactly that. It's don't.

• 22:38Speaker 02

  It was a whole, I couldn't figure out how to turn off because pressing it four times again only restarts the song.

• 22:46Speaker 02

  And I'm in the middle of driving on the highway, so I'm just like. So for 20 minutes.

• 22:59Speaker 03

  It's a long song, but even when the song ends, it just loops?

• 23:03Speaker 02

  It loops after the first few lines and then Christopher Walken comes out and says, I gotta have more cowbell.

• 23:10Speaker 04

  I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell.

• 23:13Speaker 02

  And then it goes again.

• 23:18Speaker 04

  The whole fucking drive.

• 23:20Speaker 03

  Teslas have the vibe of like websites in the early 2000s where it's like, I'm, I'm going to this website because I need to order whatever printer ink. And it's just like a printer rank website and you load it up and just like all the small thing starts playing and a bunch of clip art is like dancing around the screen. And then in the middle, it's like, yeah, click here to buy a printer ink. We'll ship it to you.

• 23:43Speaker 02

  It's so stupid. It's so stupid. And you know how I turned it off? Cause I actually had to, when I got there, I Googled it. How the fuck do I turn it off? It's a bunch of people being like, I don't know what the fuck happened.

• 23:53Speaker 03

  You'd like say something or something?

• 23:56Speaker 02

  No, the easiest way besides shutting the car completely down, then turning it back on is to activate fart mode and press the fart button. And that will interrupt the cowbell and it will stop playing.

• 24:10Speaker 03

  Dude, the fart mode is funny though, because it'll make different seats in the car fart. That's funny. I don't think any other car in the world has that kind of fart mode.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  What?

• 24:20Speaker 03

  Oh, have you never seen fart mode, Wade?

• 24:22Speaker 04

  No, I don't. I've seen a car with heated seats once.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  Oh, it has that too. That's not part of the fart mode though. It so in, in yours, is it the right stock that is the, the cruise control one? Or is it the left stock?

• 24:35Speaker 02

  It's left, left, uh, lower one. Yeah.

• 24:38Speaker 03

  Cause we have a Model Y and it's the right stock, which the passenger in the car could absolutely reach. So anytime if they wanted to, a passenger could just reach over and just go ding ding ding ding, cowbell.

• 24:49Speaker 02

  And then cowbell mode would probably start, I think.

• 24:52Speaker 03

  And that's fun.

• 24:53Speaker 02

  It's, at least it was only 20 minutes, but I feel like if I was on a longer drive, I would have pulled over. So maybe it's the worst case to be in, but.

• 25:01Speaker 04

  Imagine the worst times, like you're rushing to the hospital and you actually do it. It's just.

• 25:06Speaker 03

  I bet you can activate fart mode with voice commands though. So if it ever happens again, you just hold the voice command button and just be like, ah, fart mode. And everyone in the car could just be like, what the fuck? What clown car are we in? What the hell?

• 25:19Speaker 04

  In a funeral procession, you got people in the car mourning and you actually activate cowbell. You're like, oh, so I'm so sorry. Let me activate fart mode.

• 25:30Speaker 04

  Don't tempt Elon. He would put in a voice activated fart mode.

• 25:33Speaker 03

  What funny horn noise do you use, Mark? That's the real question.

• 25:37Speaker 04

  Can you customize the horn?

• 25:39Speaker 03

  You can change the horn and the like lock sound, the walk away lock sound kind of thing to any sound you want. You can literally put MB3s in.

• 25:49Speaker 04

  Wow, that's great, man. I can't wait for that.

• 25:52Speaker 03

  So I assume you use a funny novelty sound for those things.

• 25:56Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 25:58Speaker 03

  Wait, this is what you're missing for not having a car, just to let you know.

• 26:01Speaker 04

  Well, at least I know why I can't get one. They're so busy programming useless shit into it that takes a little extra time on the production line.

• 26:08Speaker 03

  Don't talk shit about fart mode. Two points for Wade for being correct, apparently, but also a point to Mark for sportsmanship, because that's just good sportsmanship.

• 26:16Speaker 04

  I think Judge Judy is pretty close.

• 26:20Speaker 03

  Okay, Wade has to give a winner's speech. Wade, what do you have to say for yourself?

• 26:23Speaker 04

  I think it's very fortunate. I have to give a winner's speech. I want to send a little bit of a podium here. I think it's been a while, maybe since I hosted, maybe not that long. I can't remember, but anytime I lose, it feels like it's been forever since I have won. I want to give an apology to Shakira, who I've not mentioned in a little while. And I've seen some beautiful posts from people about Shakira and statues and performances and her SNL appearance. And I don't know that she's gotten the spotlight for me she deserves. Queen, we are so back and you're in my thoughts always. And good game or whatever you do.

• 26:58Speaker 02

  Tim Brice, these nuts, they're not on camera. Hang on.

• 27:04Speaker 05

  Watch new episodes on Spotify.

• 27:09Speaker 00

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• 27:39Speaker 01

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