Solar System Tier List

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• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 0:30Speaker 01

  This episode of Distractible is presented to you by T-Mobile 5G Home Internet.

• 0:34Speaker 02

  The folks over at T-Mobile have some big news for you. They now have the fastest 5G home internet, according to the experts at Ookla Speed Test.

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  So if you want the fastest 5G speeds with a five-year price guarantee, visit t-mobile.com/homeinternet to check availability.

• 0:49Speaker 01

  Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on Ookla Speed Test. Intelligence data, second half 2025. All rights reserved.

• 0:58Speaker 04

  Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode: Bathroom-loving Bob boldly goes to his buddies for their celestial selections. Wisened Wade gets brutalized by Pokémon and derides Poopeter and your anus. Mercury-hating Mark loves stalking, ends his rending reign, despises computer dick teasing, and respects the moon but rips Mars. From sublime innovation to mystery orbits... Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! It's time for Solar System Tier List.

• 1:39Speaker 04

  Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

• 1:50Speaker 02

  Hello and welcome back to Distractible, a podcast on the internet. That's right. You've heard of podcasts other places, but have you ever seen a podcast on the internet? No, I bet you haven't. We're a first of our kind. That's why we're so special here. We're always innovating. That's our hallmark. That's the show's hallmark. We're always innovating. Which is why today's topic is gonna be so exciting and innovative. It's gonna be something we've never done before. It's gonna be unlike any previous episode you've ever seen of this show and you're gonna love it. That's one thing I know for sure. It's from previous experience I've learned that you're gonna love it, but not because we've done this before. Because it's really good and unique and innovative. Did I say innovative? It's innovative. I said that. Good.

• 2:34Speaker 02

  If you've never seen this show before, I'm the host because I won the last episode and this show is competitive. Competing for today's victory trophy? There's no trophy. Competing in today's episode will be the same guys who it always is when I host. It's Mark and Wade. Say hi, boys.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  Hi, boys.

• 2:52Speaker 02

  You both listened. That's a point for each of you. That was a test and you passed. Innovation. Yeah, if you've ever seen the show before, you'll know that everything I just said is a lie. And there are no rules and I just give out points arbitrarily, but that's a lie. I'm gonna give myself a lie point and then we're gonna get right into it. By which I mean, small talk. How's it going?

• 3:11Speaker 01

  I have so much to talk about.

• 3:14Speaker 02

  Give us those juicy deets.

• 3:16Speaker 01

  All right, I want you to open your ears real quick.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  Oh, I can't hear anything else, but.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  God damn it. Well, there goes so much. I got a new keyboard and it's like semi, it's not mechanical, but it's like.

• 3:28Speaker 02

  It's a little clackety. What kind of board is it, bro?

• 3:32Speaker 03

  I can almost tell what keys you're hitting by how they sound.

• 3:34Speaker 01

  No, no, I was typing all of my passwords in one long string.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  I could tell you typed, "Bob said innovative again."

• 3:41Speaker 01

  It's the new keyboard that has the stream deck built into it, which seems so obvious now.

• 3:46Speaker 02

  That's a thing?

• 3:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, they just came out with it, which makes you go like, why didn't they do this before?

• 3:52Speaker 02

  Is that, wait, who, what?

• 3:53Speaker 01

  So Corsair bought Elgato a ways back. I can't remember when, but Corsair owns them. Corsair makes many things, keyboards included. Not always my favorite keyboards, but this one was just like, oh my God, this saves desk space. And I, I'm always like losing my stream deck or not setting it up. It'd be nice if I could just blah and it's there and it's there and it works. And there's way more settings than I would ever do on it. And I don't, I haven't programmed, there's a whole bunch of pre-programmed stuff. But there's also like a little numpad thing, so it's where the numpad is. It's not quite as nice as a real numpad, but it's, it works.

• 4:25Speaker 02

  But it could be a numpad if you so require.

• 4:29Speaker 01

  And usually I'm very against mechanical keyboards. I hate loud clacking, but this one grew on me. At first I was like, oh no, it's got some clack, but it really doesn't. It's got. It's got this nice like soft, they call it a thocky.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Whoa, you can't just say that.

• 4:45Speaker 02

  No, that's a, that's a big, that's a big word in the keyboard community. It's thocks.

• 4:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's the first one that I've ever been like, okay, now that usually I like my keyboard silent. I don't want to hear them. I just want, I want the mushiest, softest, you know? Uh, but this one actually, I'm like, you know?

• 5:02Speaker 01

  I think I actually kind of like that. That's the first time I've been like, that's pleasant.

• 5:05Speaker 02

  You like a little thock? You thocking?

• 5:07Speaker 01

  It's a little, I think I like a little thock. Not a big thock. I don't want big thock.

• 5:12Speaker 02

  A reasonable thock.

• 5:13Speaker 03

  You're down to thock?

• 5:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. You know, now, you know, as I grow older, I find that my, my desire to thock kind of has increased a bit.

• 5:22Speaker 02

  You want a thock? You guys want a thock?

• 5:24Speaker 01

  We're gonna circle? We're gonna all thock together?

• 5:27Speaker 02

  I think that's interesting.

• 5:28Speaker 03

  Let's thock around and find out.

• 5:30Speaker 02

  I don't know if you know, wait, you use Stream Deck? Is it the same? Is it just the regular Stream Deck software that just interfaces with the keyboard? Or is it its own thing?

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, no, you just use the Stream Deck software. You have to update it, but it's, it's, it works on this and so.

• 5:42Speaker 05

  Oh, that's pretty neat. That's pretty neat.

• 5:46Speaker 01

  Got to get rid of some of these built in presets because they suck.

• 5:48Speaker 03

  I haven't programmed my Stream Deck since I switched computers, so it doesn't do anything right now. I forgot about it till you just brought it up.

• 5:54Speaker 02

  That's, it's been a while since that happened. It's not been that long.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  It's sitting here just staring at me. It says Stream Deck.

• 6:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, with the default logo on it with no, you know, you could just copy, it's like a pre, you could copy that file over and it's like a preset.

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Didn't do that.

• 6:10Speaker 02

  Okay, well, interesting. Uh, you know how I love my peripherals? Mark knows how to pander to the host, that's for sure.

• 6:17Speaker 01

  That I do, that I do. That's just a warm up of my small talk. I've got so much more.

• 6:22Speaker 02

  Wade, do you even want to try or just want to let Mark have all the small talk?

• 6:26Speaker 03

  I've got one and this will appeal to no one but me and maybe some people out there, like three of them. I have found a new Pokemon fan game pain experience. It's brutal and it's destroying me.

• 6:40Speaker 02

  This is not the, the one you were playing in your web browser. This is something else now. Yeah, this is a different one. This is Emerald Rogue 2.0 EX.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  Actually, it's 2.0.1A if I'm being technical right now, but.

• 6:52Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 6:54Speaker 03

  It's like, it's like a rogue light. So instead of like Pokemon where you wander around, whatever, like it has that, but you have like an overworld screen where it's like, you know, like the old Mario games where you'd go to like move around from level to level. You'd like have the little like tan or whatever color bars, you'd move around the little dots where the levels you'd move around and land on a level and pick it. So there's like a little overworld thing where you'll have like four or five choices or two choices or no choices, like depending on where you're at in the, the web. And you'll kind of like pick, oh, do I want to go to a place that has a trainer, go to a place that has steel pipes, go to this event, that event. And then it'll load you in, you'll do the level. I was playing on stream and chat had me do brutal difficulty. And you basically have like, I don't know, name a random Pokemon, a Meowth, whatever.

• 7:39Speaker 03

  With starting moves crappy like scratch and growl. And on brutal, the first person you fight has like a full team of six, basically that are all like probably max IV, best nature, held items, strongest moves in the game. You're getting earthquake whenever all you have is like mud slap. It is the most brutally unfair experience and I got annihilated. In four hours, I couldn't beat, I think, two trainers on a run. I beat one, could not beat the second one.

• 8:09Speaker 02

  Sounds so fun.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  Ish or something. That was again, this is brutal difficulty, but uh.

• 8:13Speaker 02

  It doesn't not sound not fun.

• 8:15Speaker 03

  It was brutal.

• 8:16Speaker 02

  What did I just do?

• 8:17Speaker 03

  Uh oh.

• 8:19Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 8:19Speaker 03

  Something either came unplugged or fell off or the cord, something's, everything's fine.

• 8:24Speaker 02

  Sounds fun.

• 8:25Speaker 01

  It didn't freeze, so I'm assuming everything's good.

• 8:27Speaker 03

  Mark, you had more talks, right? I'll be right back.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  I sure do. Yeah. All right. I guess all the points are gonna be mine.

• 8:33Speaker 03

  No, I'm not conceding.

• 8:35Speaker 02

  Wade's conceded the whole episode. Just have fun with it, Mark.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  I've not conceded.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  Big news, basically. The render farm is no more.

• 8:45Speaker 03

  Whoa.

• 8:46Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. It's a little underwhelming. It's gone.

• 8:50Speaker 02

  I mean, it is big, it is big news, but it's, it's gone. I feel like it's been, that's just a part of life.

• 8:56Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 8:57Speaker 01

  Fucking god.

• 8:58Speaker 02

  Why are you acting like you're not listening, man? I know you hear what we're talking about.

• 9:02Speaker 03

  I am listening. I'm reacting.

• 9:05Speaker 02

  Oh, okay.

• 9:06Speaker 01

  So yes, the render farm has left the bathroom.

• 9:12Speaker 01

  I know, it is a big deal.

• 9:13Speaker 02

  And you burned it in a bonfire in your backyard?

• 9:16Speaker 01

  I covered it in Glaber salt, which as we know, very flammable, extremely flammable. One of the big problems that everyone is trying to warn me about when I stuffed it inside my servers.

• 9:26Speaker 03

  It's hard to get up when you're old.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  It's moving to an actual, not a bathroom, like.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, wait, you all right?

• 9:33Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah, this is about me. It's about you. Go on.

• 9:35Speaker 01

  Anyway, it's, it's moving to a place that actually should have a render farm, a server room, a real, real deal server room, purpose built specifically for that.

• 9:46Speaker 03

  Oh, fuck.

• 9:48Speaker 01

  What is happening under his desk? What kind of mole men are tunneling up from his basement floor?

• 9:53Speaker 02

  What the fuck is happening?

• 9:55Speaker 03

  I just squirted water all over.

• 9:58Speaker 01

  Well, geez, man, don't do that.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  I'm really trying to stick with the story of this one. Mark's render farm is going to a real room like a big boy.

• 10:06Speaker 01

  And I'm selling some of it because with the current computer prices and RAM prices, don't give me that face.

• 10:15Speaker 02

  Very high. Oh, man, you're not lying.

• 10:19Speaker 01

  Uh, there's some extra stuff that I think I'll try to sell, might even make some money off of what I got off eBay for that.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  I don't understand what's happening with Wade. I gotta be honest. I'm super distracted right now.

• 10:31Speaker 03

  I thought this was sealed. It wasn't. So I grabbed it and squirted out and just sprayed like a fountain of water came out of my keyboard in my desk and I kicked something and undid my wire tie. It was like to the bottom of my, everything's fine and I don't mean to detract. I think the render farm moving is great and also whatever Mark was just talking about is also very important.

• 10:51Speaker 02

  Let me give Wade a jealousy point.

• 10:54Speaker 03

  Very jealous.

• 10:56Speaker 02

  Jealous of Mark's real small talk.

• 10:58Speaker 01

  Big chapter of my life closing.

• 11:01Speaker 02

  Or is it? So what's the new movie?

• 11:05Speaker 01

  I don't know one yet. Wink?

• 11:08Speaker 02

  You heard it here first. Wink wank.

• 11:10Speaker 01

  I was expecting that to be my big trump card like sweep, you know?

• 11:14Speaker 02

  No, that's a huge. I mean, it's just a bathroom now, which is good. We need bathrooms in our lives, but that's just crazy. I, I feel like the saga from when it, when you were like, guys, eBay and Chinese server parts. They don't need them. I bought a pallet of server stuff and I'm gonna build. There was like a whole saga all the way back. It's like a chapter of our lives have closed.

• 11:39Speaker 03

  My favorite version of Mark was dinosaur. I like dinosaur bone collecting Mark.

• 11:44Speaker 02

  Man, did we talk about that?

• 11:46Speaker 03

  Not the, not the Trump marks Trump, but I think I'm cursed specifically. Uh, first my eyes broke, so I'm in glasses. Then my wires broke and then my water squirted and the next obvious thing is immediate death.

• 11:59Speaker 01

  Or water breaking, cause that's.

• 12:01Speaker 02

  Yeah, I can't believe you didn't go with water broke, but whatever.

• 12:04Speaker 03

  Well, I don't want to lie point. I want a real point.

• 12:06Speaker 01

  They are real points, actually, apparently. We were doing it wrong. Like every time we bring up a rule like that, we remember it wrong. I don't know how it keeps happening, but it's almost always the case.

• 12:17Speaker 02

  At this point, I just want to bring up incorrect rules just to piss everyone off. So if you were hoping that we would start doing it correctly subreddit, I wouldn't hold your breath.

• 12:27Speaker 03

  I thought we had a rule. We're not allowed to correct ourselves unless we have a tribal council, uh, aside, not a full episode, but like an aside.

• 12:34Speaker 02

  I don't, that doesn't sound like a rule I've ever heard before. That definitely doesn't exist.

• 12:38Speaker 03

  I probably just made it up, which makes it true.

• 12:40Speaker 02

  No, that is a rule though, is if we make it up, it's true. That's true.

• 12:44Speaker 01

  That's two out of the three. I don't even need to agree for that to be true.

• 12:47Speaker 02

  Plurocracy.

• 12:49Speaker 03

  I'm ready for the episode despite my life falling apart around me.

• 12:52Speaker 01

  I have one last thing to bitch about, by the way.

• 12:54Speaker 03

  I don't yet. Hold on, let me bring something else.

• 12:56Speaker 01

  The tech problem. I'm so tired of these, these tech companies announcing a product and then it not being available. Where it's like, well, coming out intel's like laptop, CPU. But and every reviewer is like, oh, it's incredible. This product is like specifically, it's like this dual screen thing that had like the new, the new CPU is very good. I'm like, that's what I've been looking for a new Windows laptop, portable. Oh, where do I buy it? You can't. No. Oh, it's great.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  But you'll never see it. It'll come out sometime. Never.

• 13:31Speaker 03

  Like I literally, I everywhere is looking like this was announced a month ago. It's like, oh, that's exactly what I need. Too bad.

• 13:38Speaker 01

  Why would you want this? You want to buy this? Ew, get away from me.

• 13:44Speaker 03

  So they announced it, released it, but then you can't get it?

• 13:47Speaker 01

  Yeah, you can't get it. Tons of reviews come out about it and then it'll be like a sneeze in the wind. Six months from now, it'll be like listed for sale and I'll forget about it. And it's like, how are they making money? How is anyone in those other companies making money? Right? It doesn't like, I'm here. I'm like, I'm in the market for a new Windows laptop.

• 14:08Speaker 02

  Investors, I guess. I don't know.

• 14:10Speaker 03

  Oh, my monkey's turned into the beach.

• 14:14Speaker 01

  That sounds like a completely psychopathic statement out of context.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  Okay, grandpa. Everybody's monkey's turned into the beach today.

• 14:24Speaker 01

  Okay, listen, before we start recording.

• 14:26Speaker 02

  Contact, let's get into the episode. No, no, no. Your monkey's turned into the beach. There you go.

• 14:36Speaker 03

  This episode is brought to you by Grubhub. I order food a lot. And then you see that line that says fees. Grubhub's changing the game by eating the delivery and service fees on orders over $50.

• 14:52Speaker 02

  Oh, that's not how you use chopsticks. Get no delivery or service fees on restaurant orders over $50 when you order on Grubhub. Visit Grubhub for more details.

• 15:01Speaker 03

  Bye fees. Bye bye. I won't miss you.

• 15:06Speaker 06

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• 15:38Speaker 02

  Today's episode topic, like I said at the beginning, so groundbreaking, so innovative, so fresh and new, we're gonna be making a tier list.

• 15:54Speaker 02

  But not just any tier list, this is gonna be a tier list of stuff in space.

• 16:02Speaker 03

  I know at least three things out there.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  You probably know more than that. Yeah, this is very unbiased and completely fair because everyone here equally likes things in space and has the same strong positive vibes about it in general. I want, this started as the idea of, I wanted to do a tier list, tier list of the planets in our solar system, but then I was like, well, there's some moons that we could talk about, but also if you guys have any other things that you like about space, like, like the ISS, or like specific nebula's or something, or like, it could be space, it could just be space stuff, but I want to start, I want to go inside out, we'll start with the sun and progress through the planets. No Pluto's not a planet, we could discuss it later, but it's not a planet, it doesn't count, unless it does, I don't

• 16:47Speaker 02

  know if they switched that back or what exactly, but we're making a tier list.

• 16:51Speaker 03

  I unironically like tier lists. I know not everyone watching and listening did, but I do enjoy it.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  I like it as a pretext to just talk about stuff.

• 16:59Speaker 03

  That's what it is, it's like a reason for us to talk, but also give something. I don't know what some of these things is, but I like the way they look.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  I like the way you look, I'm gonna guarantee it. We could start with the sun, and we could work our way through the planets, we could talk about moons with the planets, or we can save the moons for later. It's very whatever we want, here and there, whither and dither. I just want to talk about space stuff. I'm curious where all of these things land, and I'm curious how we're even gonna decide that. The sun, first, numero, number zero in our solar system, the actual center of the universe, probably, can't unprove me scientifically. I think this picture says, is a deadly laser.

• 17:43Speaker 02

  I have this, this is, this starts pretty high up for me. This could go as high as S tier for me, but I'm curious what you guys think about it.

• 17:50Speaker 01

  Look, if anything was worthy of being an S tier, it would be the sun because in power, in other categories.

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Orangeness.

• 18:03Speaker 03

  Melt snow.

• 18:04Speaker 02

  Flares.

• 18:05Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 18:07Speaker 03

  Burns our enemies when we leave them outside tied to stakes.

• 18:10Speaker 01

  True, true, all true. Yes. I think like it's, it just is, unless it's so overdone that it becomes kind of generic, you know?

• 18:20Speaker 02

  I do, I get that vibe, but I feel like giver of life gets to be S tier, I guess, you know? We sort of do need that guy.

• 18:29Speaker 01

  I don't think we've ever started a tier list with an S.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  We'll see if it stays so hot, but I, I feel like sun belongs in S tier and I'm comfortable with that. All right, let's talk about this next one. Big piece of shit. Mercury.

• 18:44Speaker 03

  Beefer bitch. Nah, gotta be A because it's closest to the sun. No, I'm just kidding. It's not an A tier.

• 18:49Speaker 01

  It's just getting smacked around. It's on a little leash, but the sun's got on a leash. It's not tough for being annihilated with that much heat. It's not like Venus, right? Venus is, is crazy. Venus is nuts.

• 19:05Speaker 03

  I started with a little, what's the limerick for like my vagina eats men just so what's the?

• 19:14Speaker 01

  What's the one we all learned in?

• 19:17Speaker 01

  My vagina eats all men.

• 19:19Speaker 02

  My vagina eats many monkey penises.

• 19:23Speaker 03

  There's two Ms? Mars? Mupeter.

• 19:31Speaker 02

  Okay, fine. My vagina eats monkey penises. Other ones.

• 19:35Speaker 03

  P?

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, why am I so hooked on P?

• 19:42Speaker 03

  I don't know.

• 19:43Speaker 02

  I was looking at FOMO's on the thing.

• 19:47Speaker 02

  The next one starts with P. Ah, you got me, moons. You moons.

• 19:53Speaker 03

  Mark said B for bitch mercury. I've got nothing really against it, but nothing really for it. What? Well, we have six B or C. So I guess C.

• 20:00Speaker 01

  C. You don't get points for being first in line to be exploded, you know?

• 20:05Speaker 02

  No, no moons.

• 20:07Speaker 01

  No moon, not even a moon.

• 20:10Speaker 02

  Venus.

• 20:11Speaker 01

  Does Venus have moons?

• 20:13Speaker 02

  I don't think it does. Here, I'll show you my cheat sheet, apparently. Venus moons, zero.

• 20:18Speaker 01

  Okay, Venus is crazy.

• 20:20Speaker 03

  Well, V rhymes with B, so I say B.

• 20:23Speaker 01

  We recognize Venus for its it Venus way tougher than Mercury. I don't care if Mercury is closer. Venus, the its atmosphere, the pressures. I don't even know why it does all that stuff that it does, but it rains like sulfuric acid or something like that. It's it's nutso. Nutso butso B for butso.

• 20:42Speaker 03

  Avoiding spoilers, I'm pretty sure Venus is also like it has significance in the plot of the book Project Hail Mary.

• 20:48Speaker 02

  I wouldn't know. I haven't read it yet.

• 20:50Speaker 03

  I'm not going to go into any specifics, but you know, that put it on my radar even more than it already was. So I think I think B tier is good for Venus.

• 20:57Speaker 02

  Earth.

• 20:58Speaker 03

  This son of a bitch. No, no, no. Come on now. People are from there and I don't like people.

• 21:04Speaker 02

  See, that's where I'm coming from.

• 21:05Speaker 05

  I like people.

• 21:06Speaker 02

  Earth is a planet. Pretty cool. Lots of water, nice ecosystems. You add in humanity. Knocked it down, knocked it down a little bit.

• 21:16Speaker 01

  Obviously, Earth bagged a hell of a moon, right? Huge moon for its size. Second only to Pluto for bagging a moon in proportion to its size.

• 21:29Speaker 03

  Pluto P for planet.

• 21:31Speaker 01

  But but okay, Earth. Have you seen that animation of Earth? Have you seen Earth?

• 21:40Speaker 01

  Animation was like a Tik Tok edit where it's like, you know, the sun's giving off its electromagnetic radiation blasting mercury, you know, oh no. And then Venus is like, but Earth is, you know, it does like the, the super tough edit of Earth's electromagnetic field is just tanking all the sun, you know, I, it's, Earth's tough, you know, Earth is real tough. I gotta give Earth a lot of credit for that. Let's, I mean, we could talk about the people problem, the entirety of this episode. So I'm, I'm objectifying it from outside of the people perspective.

• 22:15Speaker 02

  Okay. What do you advocate for here? A, S? How high?

• 22:19Speaker 01

  I think A. I don't think quite S. Cause let's be honest, we've discovered that the habitable zone is a lot wider than we think. There's probably plenty of Earth like planets out there in the whole universe.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  I'll give you A, but only because of Soto and Fogu de Chao.

• 22:34Speaker 01

  I think that's fair. I think that's a fair exchange and that's a good point.

• 22:37Speaker 03

  There's a lot of things on Earth, but there's also meat and pasta. Was our moon, the only one doesn't have a name? Or does our moon actually have a name?

• 22:44Speaker 02

  It has a name. It's called Luna.

• 22:46Speaker 03

  Okay. Just a moon.

• 22:47Speaker 02

  It's just the one we know as moon.

• 22:50Speaker 01

  I mean, that's a reason for S tier in my mind. It's not a moon. It is the moon.

• 22:57Speaker 03

  We're not biased.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  We're not biased, but let's be honest, the earth didn't bag the moon. The moon bagged the earth. And that's because it came from a, you know, you know,

• 23:10Speaker 03

  No, I don't, but I like the way you're.

• 23:13Speaker 01

  And I like this sun, moon both being S tier. That, that feels good.

• 23:16Speaker 02

  No, that's true. I, I vibe with that a little bit.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  It's true. I mean, we've talked about before on the episode, but I'm still, I still think the, the cosmic coincidence of the sun and the moon being the same relative size in the sky. And the only place where a total eclipse could possibly happen that we know of.

• 23:33Speaker 03

  Bonnie Tyler.

• 23:35Speaker 01

  Monty Tyler?

• 23:37Speaker 03

  Bonnie Tyler, she wrote the song Total Eclipse of the Heart. Well, it didn't write, she sang. It's written, but nevermind. So yeah, Moon S tier. You got me with Eclipse S tier. Total Eclipse of the Heart S tier song. I'm easy to please, man. Pasta, good music.

• 23:49Speaker 01

  All right.

• 23:50Speaker 02

  Mars thinks he's the sun, wants to be orange, actually turned red. What an idiot.

• 23:56Speaker 03

  Mars has ghosts and Mars attacked. Two things I didn't like about Mars.

• 24:00Speaker 02

  Dude, that movie traumatized me when I was a kid.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  Which one? Ghosts of Mars or Mars Attacks?

• 24:04Speaker 02

  Mars Attacks.

• 24:06Speaker 01

  I never actually saw the movie. But I want to point out, Phobos and Demos, we're not, I know we're not there yet. They don't even deserve to be on this list. Those are rocks.

• 24:15Speaker 02

  Deal.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  But no, wait, we need something for F.

• 24:18Speaker 02

  Out of here. Nope, they're below F. They're deleted.

• 24:21Speaker 01

  Look, Mars is a wannabe in a lot of ways. I, maybe I'll give it credit for at one point having life. But who has life and loses it? That's really.

• 24:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, lost life. You know, you know what happens to a doctor who loses life too much? Not allowed to be a doctor anymore.

• 24:41Speaker 03

  And Musk likes Mars. That drops Mars too, right?

• 24:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, what's that make it? Like a D?

• 24:45Speaker 01

  I think Mars might be our fruit of D.

• 24:47Speaker 02

  I don't know if it deserves F.

• 24:49Speaker 01

  Olympus Mons kind of gives it a little bit of credit. Biggest, uh, mountain in, or it's a former volcano, but it's a mountain. Let's be honest, it's not going to be a volcano ever again, but biggest mountain in as we know of.

• 25:02Speaker 03

  So biggest protrusion gives it some big D energy.

• 25:06Speaker 01

  That's a good point. That's funny.

• 25:08Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 25:09Speaker 01

  That is funny.

• 25:10Speaker 03

  I hope everyone out there heard that joke and they went, that is funny in the same monotone voice to prove how hilarious it was.

• 25:15Speaker 01

  You're gonna, just by saying that, you're gonna have people come up to you and go, that is funny.

• 25:20Speaker 03

  I'm gonna miss Bald.

• 25:21Speaker 02

  It's still so often that clip comes up where Mark is like, and Bob has a baby and I have a movie and I'm bald. Forever the rest of our lives Jupiter baby.

• 25:34Speaker 03

  Obos deimos crew where you rise up Fobos deimos crew.

• 25:39Speaker 02

  Fuck those idiots. They're just rocks.

• 25:41Speaker 03

  Jupiter is where men go to get more stupider. Is that good or bad? My bad.

• 25:46Speaker 01

  Well, I mean, if if I've ever been to a place that makes me stupider, it's usually a fun time. So I'm not going to say too much negative about that.

• 25:53Speaker 02

  It's also real big. Doesn't Jupiter have like an an infinite storm? Isn't that what the spot on Jupiter is? It's just a never ending storm?

• 26:02Speaker 01

  I don't think it's an infinite storm. I think it's actually shrinking right now.

• 26:06Speaker 03

  Well, it's cold out. It'll get bigger when it gets warm.

• 26:09Speaker 01

  Infinite storm is actually, I'm skipping ahead, but Saturn, I believe Saturn is way cooler than Jupiter. Jupiter gets a lot of I not just not saying Jupiter is bad. I'm Jupiter very cool. Lots of moons, kind of weak, maybe ring, kind of, you know, that's kind of a little cringe ring.

• 26:27Speaker 02

  Can I say something embarrassing? So Jupiter, Saturn, others, these are the gas giants in our solar system, right? They're good, meaning that they're gaseous. I still struggle to conceptualize what exactly that means. If it's a gas, if it's a gas giant, if it's a planet made of gas, how do you determine the surface of the planet? I guess there's no like atmosphere technically, I think. But then is it just like, once you're inside the gas, that's the planet? But if you're not inside the gas, is there a line or some shit?

• 27:01Speaker 03

  Is it ever solid? Like, does the gas solidify anywhere or anything like?

• 27:04Speaker 02

  I don't understand.

• 27:06Speaker 01

  I don't get it either because it must be so big that there is like a gradation of the density of the gas. But it just ramps up really quickly of the pressure because it's so big. And it probably is a thing. I believe there is a core. Is there? Is there a core?

• 27:22Speaker 02

  If it storms in a gas, where does it land?

• 27:25Speaker 01

  I don't know. Let's see.

• 27:28Speaker 02

  To Google Jupiter is not just a ball of gas. It's a complex gas giant with no solid surface, primarily composed of hydrogen and helium. The transition from gas to liquid and metallic states due to extreme pressure. As a thick gaseous outer atmosphere, most of its mass is liquid metallic hydrogen surrounding a dense, possibly partially melted rocky core. Man, I could have understood this if I just Googled it earlier.

• 27:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, wow. Okay, so there is a rocky core. That makes sense to me because it's like.

• 27:57Speaker 02

  But it says there's, it says there's no surface. You can't stand on the surface of it. The pressure just increases until it becomes impenetrably dense, which sounds terrifying.

• 28:07Speaker 01

  I don't, I don't want to penetrate it.

• 28:09Speaker 03

  Well, hold on.

• 28:10Speaker 01

  Okay, maybe Wade wants to penetrate it. I won't speak for all of us, I guess.

• 28:14Speaker 02

  That sounds like a challenge.

• 28:16Speaker 01

  I, I think it's very B.

• 28:18Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was gonna say it can't be higher than B. I'd give you a B.

• 28:21Speaker 02

  I like B.

• 28:22Speaker 03

  B's good. B's a fair score.

• 28:23Speaker 02

  I feel like it's happy at B.

• 28:25Speaker 01

  Oh, God, we gotta do their moons. Uh.

• 28:27Speaker 02

  Well, so we could skip, we could do the planets first and circle back to the moons or whatever.

• 28:31Speaker 03

  Well, then I'm not gonna know what moon goes to what.

• 28:33Speaker 01

  Well, actually, I do know Europa, Callisto, and Io.

• 28:36Speaker 02

  No, I know Io because it was in Destiny, right? Isn't Io one of the places you can go?

• 28:41Speaker 01

  Callisto is Callisto Protocol and Europa's the one with the giant ocean.

• 28:45Speaker 03

  What's the first one? Candy Medic? What's it called?

• 28:48Speaker 02

  Ganymede. Candy Medic. Yeah, yeah, it's my favorite moon.

• 28:51Speaker 03

  I don't know Ganymede. I like its little, uh, like, sideburn it's got. That's cool. Callisto and Io look pretty.

• 28:57Speaker 01

  Io is very pretty. Ganymede, forgettable. Ganymede D, I don't, I don't care, whatever. Callisto, Callisto Protocol, not a great game, but you know, had an interesting graphics thing that I was talking about before.

• 29:10Speaker 03

  Europa kinda looks like someone spilled cinnamon on some whipped cream.

• 29:13Speaker 01

  C for Callisto?

• 29:14Speaker 02

  C for Callisto. I like Io just for the name, not gonna lie.

• 29:18Speaker 03

  Oh, Io's a B. It was fun to go there in Destiny, probably.

• 29:21Speaker 02

  That was a good place in Destiny. Very yellow.

• 29:23Speaker 03

  Europa makes me think of a cinnamon roll. I like cinnamon rolls, but I don't know anything else about it, so probably a C.

• 29:29Speaker 01

  Yeah, I don't object.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  All right, crank it through the moons. I appreciate it.

• 29:32Speaker 03

  And Ganymede's down. Yeah, I think, I think those are good choices.

• 29:35Speaker 02

  Still no Fs. Pretty good solar system.

• 29:38Speaker 01

  I think Saturn A tier for me. Saturn is awesome. That ring, that ring is unreal. And you want to talk about like, okay, Jupiter just got this big red spot. Have you seen Saturn's fat ass?

• 29:52Speaker 02

  No.

• 29:53Speaker 01

  Go on.

• 29:54Speaker 02

  Hang on, let me Google that. Saturn's fat ass.

• 29:59Speaker 02

  Saturn is the most oblate planet in the solar system, meaning it's significantly flattened at the poles and bulges at the equator. This gas giant's wide shape makes its equatorial diameter about 10% larger than its polar diameter.

• 30:11Speaker 03

  It's like an hourglass figure if the hourglass was just cut in half.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  Saturn is actually the least dense planet in the solar system, making it a very lightweight, yet fat planet.

• 30:24Speaker 02

  All right, Saturn is fat. I like it.

• 30:26Speaker 01

  Uh, look up Saturn's hexagon.

• 30:29Speaker 03

  Saturn's hexagon.

• 30:30Speaker 02

  How the hell is that happening? Aliens, probably.

• 30:33Speaker 01

  Oh, probably. Definitely. Way cooler than a red spot, and that shit will never go away, apparently.

• 30:40Speaker 03

  It's like a bronzer. If you know, you know, right? Pokemon fans? I don't know. I think Saturn's cooler than Earth.

• 30:46Speaker 01

  I do too. I would agree, yes. I think Saturn has so much going for it.

• 30:50Speaker 03

  Like, it might be the only S-tier planet.

• 30:52Speaker 01

  Oh, it'd be pretty up there. I mean, it's ring, it's just shape, it's uniqueness, it's fat ass.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  If you go to the context of Earth having life, it's really cool. But if you're looking at the solar system and you see Saturn, you're like, "That's so cool."

• 31:06Speaker 01

  I know. The whole pale blue dot thing was taken from Saturn, you know?

• 31:11Speaker 02

  Doesn't Uranus have a, um, have rings, or is it Neptune? Doesn't have, like, vertical rings, but they don't look nearly as cool, right?

• 31:18Speaker 03

  I know there's cock rings. I don't know about Uranus rings.

• 31:20Speaker 02

  I'm okay with Saturn at S here.

• 31:22Speaker 01

  I mean, I just look at Saturn. Saturn just so cool.

• 31:26Speaker 02

  The alien hexagon on the North Pole is top tier. I have to agree with that.

• 31:31Speaker 01

  It is super cool.

• 31:32Speaker 03

  Does Saturn have all of these moons?

• 31:34Speaker 02

  Saturn has a whole fuckload of moons. Jupiter has 92 moons, plus possibly up to, like, 600 other tiny, tiny ones. Saturn has 145 known moons, and the first six are the Galilean moons, right?

• 31:49Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 31:49Speaker 02

  Isn't that the thing? Is there visible using, like, land-based telescopes from Earth? Because they're fucking huge.

• 31:55Speaker 03

  Quick glance, I like my, my mass. Me-mas. I like me-mas. It looks like a Death Star.

• 32:00Speaker 02

  It does look like the Death Star. Look at that. Titan is another one from, uh, Destiny in it.

• 32:05Speaker 01

  Titan is in a lot of fiction. Warhammer Titan's very important.

• 32:09Speaker 03

  That bumps those two up on my list.

• 32:12Speaker 01

  How big is Titan compared to Earth?

• 32:13Speaker 02

  That's a good question to ask Google.

• 32:15Speaker 01

  Okay, Titan is bigger than our moon, but it's about like a quarter the size of Earth.

• 32:20Speaker 02

  It's like half the size of Earth, forty to fifty percent the size of Earth in diameter.

• 32:25Speaker 01

  It's got more water than Europa. I didn't know that.

• 32:28Speaker 02

  Damn.

• 32:29Speaker 03

  I definitely didn't know any of this.

• 32:30Speaker 02

  It's much less dense. Its mass is only about two percent of Earth's mass.

• 32:35Speaker 03

  Oh, you're still showing the hexagon. No, wait, you're not. I am. I've got a tab open. I'm an idiot.

• 32:42Speaker 03

  Boys, I think it's time to put me in a home and retire me from this podcast.

• 32:46Speaker 01

  It's been fun, man. It's been fun.

• 32:49Speaker 03

  I I truly think after today, it's time. Send your applications to replace me because I think it's time. I need to go. I need to go.

• 32:57Speaker 02

  Titan seems kind of cool. Titan seems pretty boss.

• 33:00Speaker 01

  It'd be up there. I'm split between A or B. I'm not sure.

• 33:03Speaker 03

  Give Titan an A, give Memus a B, and the rest can go C, D. I don't care.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  I feel like I like Titan more than I like Jupiter, and Jupiter is in B, so I feel like it has to go in A.

• 33:14Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm fine with that.

• 33:16Speaker 02

  Like, I would say below, below Earth in A, I guess, but like.

• 33:19Speaker 01

  But the fact that it's in A tier. Yeah, that's pretty good.

• 33:22Speaker 03

  Memus next to Yo to me.

• 33:24Speaker 02

  Got it. Memus next to Yo.

• 33:25Speaker 03

  Death Star boob. Oh, man, that might be S tier. Hold on, let's talk about those.

• 33:29Speaker 02

  Death Star boob. Would you say it like that? I'm gonna say Tethys D tier. Can't pronounce a terrible name.

• 33:37Speaker 03

  Iapetus looks like it's being Thanos snapped. The rest of them are just round and gray like Tethys.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  The rest of them wish that they were our moon, and they're just not. I don't know. What's default for moon? Do they start at C?

• 33:48Speaker 01

  I think yes, C. Nah, D. I think moons have to start at D because it's just like they're.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  Because it's like default for planet is C, default for moon is, okay, all right. Do we want Iapetus anywhere else or?

• 34:01Speaker 01

  Iapetus can go C. It looks interesting. It also has a Death Star.

• 34:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, I like it has a little Death Star nipple. I like it has cool coloring situation.

• 34:09Speaker 03

  Actually, is it hexagonal too? Are both of those kind of hexagonal?

• 34:12Speaker 01

  Oh, my God, are they?

• 34:13Speaker 02

  To Google.

• 34:14Speaker 01

  You know, if I was aliens, if I was aliens, I would make my base on Saturn because I'd be like, okay, this is just far enough away from Earth that they wouldn't get suspicious. But then I would make my big hexagons and.

• 34:27Speaker 03

  People on Earth, the most shapes, those fucking idiots.

• 34:30Speaker 01

  We had to show them how to build a pyramid. I can't believe this. Never get a square or a hexagon.

• 34:35Speaker 03

  And they said, nice triangle. It's a pyramid. It's in the name.

• 34:44Speaker 02

  All right, we're on to big business, boys.

• 34:47Speaker 01

  Oh, boy.

• 34:48Speaker 02

  Uranus, funniest planet name we've got going, I think.

• 34:52Speaker 03

  But it tripped the other planet and knocked it off the line. Like, we all know the one in the back is the one that tripped Pluto, right? It had to be Uranus that did it.

• 34:58Speaker 01

  Well, it's not in the back.

• 35:00Speaker 02

  Are you talking about Neptune? The planet that is next?

• 35:03Speaker 03

  I forgot Neptune existed. You know what? Uranus is fine.

• 35:05Speaker 02

  That's a bad sign for Neptune, man, but...

• 35:08Speaker 03

  That is not a great sign for Neptune. Uranus, move, it's back up, baby!

• 35:12Speaker 01

  Other than being a joke, it's so boring. It is just the blandest planet. It is one color. It's just there, you know? But at least it's not Neptune.

• 35:24Speaker 03

  Is it high C tier or low B tier?

• 35:27Speaker 02

  I feel like Uranus deserves to be above Mercury.

• 35:30Speaker 01

  I agree. I would agree.

• 35:32Speaker 02

  But still, like, top of C tier?

• 35:34Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

• 35:35Speaker 03

  Yeah, Uranus comes below the boob.

• 35:37Speaker 02

  I gotta say, these are some very interesting moon names.

• 35:40Speaker 03

  Titania. Well, I got a Titan too, Titania.

• 35:44Speaker 02

  I like Oberon. I think Oberon's a cool name.

• 35:47Speaker 01

  Oberon and Umbriel are badass names. Those pair them up where...

• 35:51Speaker 03

  Ariel, first mermaid crush. Only mermaid crush, probably.

• 35:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, what was your second mermaid crush? King Neptune?

• 36:00Speaker 03

  Ariel in the sequel.

• 36:01Speaker 02

  Ursula, when she's the hot version of Mermaid Ursula.

• 36:05Speaker 03

  Titania just feels like it's trying to be Titan.

• 36:07Speaker 02

  It feels like it wants to be cooler than it is.

• 36:10Speaker 03

  Fucking F. We give that an F.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  Oh, F.

• 36:13Speaker 03

  Wow, first F.

• 36:14Speaker 02

  I feel like Oberon and Umbriel get a bump up to C just for their name. I don't know if they need to go higher, because otherwise they're fine.

• 36:22Speaker 03

  Did I had crushes on them? Or, listen, Miranda in Mass Effect and Ariel, Little Mermaid, like, both of them all at C.

• 36:29Speaker 02

  How horny do they make you? That will rate how high that means they should go.

• 36:34Speaker 03

  Oh, man, well, S is too high. Let's go, think me with Umbriel, below Umbriel and Oberon, but on that line.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  Okay, so you'd rather fuck Oberon?

• 36:42Speaker 03

  Got it. All right, we're really working it, we're really banging out a bell curve here, and I appreciate that. This, I think, might be a contentious one. Neptune. Blue. I like blue.

• 36:52Speaker 02

  It's a beautiful color. I love the look of Neptune. I want a bowling ball that looks like that.

• 36:57Speaker 03

  That's about all I know about Neptune.

• 36:59Speaker 02

  But otherwise, kind of fuck Neptune. I don't know. It's fine. Like Wade said, it probably is the one who pushed Pluto, made them lose planet status like it. What's Neptune is the god of the ocean. Is that the Greek one? Or whatever. It's fine. It's very pretty.

• 37:17Speaker 01

  Oh, Neptune isn't as big as I thought it was. I see an Earth to Neptune comparison. And I mean, obviously, Earth is much smaller, but it's about the same ratio as the Earth moon to Earth. It just inverse. So it's actually not that big.

• 37:30Speaker 02

  No, it's smaller than you'd think. Way the fuck out there. It's too far away. It's a long drive. Nobody wants to go that far.

• 37:36Speaker 01

  It has a spot, apparently. It's got, it's got a spot. That's kind of cool.

• 37:40Speaker 03

  So like, is it above Mars?

• 37:42Speaker 02

  I feel like, to me, it's either top of D tier or in the mix of C tier.

• 37:47Speaker 03

  I like the, maybe put it next to Mars at the very top of D tier.

• 37:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, give it top of D. At least, like, it just, it earns that spot. It's not a, it's not a leftover wannabe has been like Mars.

• 38:00Speaker 02

  It looks better than Mars. Mars doesn't look bad. Red planet, kind of cool. Neptune looks way cooler.

• 38:12Speaker 03

  Orcas are scary in the ocean. So I don't know if Orcus is scary as a moon.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, wait, what's going on with Orcus?

• 38:18Speaker 01

  Orcus, Orcus whale.

• 38:20Speaker 03

  Does it have its own little mini moon?

• 38:21Speaker 02

  Oh, that's what that photo would imply.

• 38:24Speaker 03

  A moon with its own moon?

• 38:26Speaker 02

  I Googled Orcus moon moon and came up with Vans.

• 38:32Speaker 01

  Okay, Vans is the moon of Orcus. Orcus is a dwarf planet.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  So Orcus is not a moon of Neptune. Orcus is a dwarf planet. I mean, Orcus never even kind of got to be one of the planets. Often called the anti Pluto.

• 38:47Speaker 03

  Well, Pluto is high on my list.

• 38:48Speaker 02

  It's just in opposite orbital phase from Pluto, so they just, they just keep their distance.

• 38:53Speaker 01

  Oh, so people might have mistaken them for each other at some point.

• 38:56Speaker 02

  It was only discovered in 2004.

• 38:59Speaker 01

  Oh, it's, it's like, it's like a third the size of Pluto. Why is this even in the running?

• 39:04Speaker 03

  Well, if Pluto's high on my list and Orcus is not, then that means Orcus is pretty low.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  I liked the name. I like both Orcus and Vanth. I feel like those are cool names. I don't like the vibe. I feel like he wishes he was, but he's not.

• 39:19Speaker 03

  F or low D?

• 39:20Speaker 01

  Given that I've only just heard of it, I'd feel bad if it got put in F.

• 39:24Speaker 02

  That feels mean, I guess, but.

• 39:26Speaker 03

  Alright, so above Mars? Oh, okay.

• 39:32Speaker 03

  It's either F or above Mars. There's no in-between.

• 39:35Speaker 02

  Orc Triton, hark! I've sensed that mark is a bit, what's that from?

• 39:40Speaker 01

  It's from The Lighthouse. When, uh, Willem Dafoe, uh, goes, he's like, stands up, gives a-

• 39:46Speaker 02

  Hark Triton, hark, her sister!

• 39:51Speaker 03

  I like Willem Dafoe, so Triton must be pretty high up on the list then.

• 39:54Speaker 02

  That immediately gives me positive feelings about Triton. I like some Willem Dafoe.

• 39:59Speaker 01

  Very B energy.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  I feel that. Right next to hexagonal Death Star titty.

• 40:05Speaker 03

  Willem Dafoe, you did this, you rose Triton. Sirius? No, no, oh good. You know what? Low D or F, because it made my phone go off.

• 40:17Speaker 02

  That's really funny, because it sounds like the phone lady.

• 40:21Speaker 03

  Um, I don't know. I've got nothing for or against it. It exists.

• 40:24Speaker 02

  Nah, I mean, default.

• 40:26Speaker 01

  Okay, hold on. Sirius is not a moon. Sirius is a dwarf planet that's inside the asteroid belt. You gotta be tough to live in there. That's not a good place to live.

• 40:37Speaker 03

  Almost as tough as Miranda, bottom of seed here.

• 40:41Speaker 01

  Alright, okay.

• 40:42Speaker 03

  No argument? Okay, you guys just gave me that.

• 40:44Speaker 02

  You just said it so definitively. I believe you. Alright, now for the big one. Pluto.

• 40:49Speaker 01

  Pluto.

• 40:50Speaker 02

  We grew up knowing Pluto as the pizzas that my very educated mother just bought us nine of. But now it is nothing. Do we love Pluto because it's a fallen planet? Or do we hate Pluto because it lied to us for our entire lives? How do we feel about Pluto?

• 41:09Speaker 03

  If Pluto is the yin to Orcus's yang, it has to be A tier.

• 41:13Speaker 01

  I think Pluto has so much going for it. It didn't ask to be labeled a planet. It was just there when planets were being labeled planets. It just made its orbit there and it kinda was like, oh, oh, okay, no objections here. Here's my big fucking moon. Look at my huge moon.

• 41:35Speaker 01

  You know, I think that, you know, you, you, you gotta give it tons of pride and that heart.

• 41:40Speaker 03

  It has dealt with being last in line and then forgotten its whole life and it's not complained once, not once. Eight tier Pluto.

• 41:48Speaker 01

  Those other dwarf planets, they're not spherical Pluto, beautiful sphere.

• 41:53Speaker 02

  Eight tier Pluto.

• 41:54Speaker 01

  Sharon.

• 41:55Speaker 03

  Rest in peace, Ozzy.

• 41:57Speaker 02

  Does that big ass moon get to live with its tiny ass not planet? Or does it get the default moon treatment? It is impressive. It's like Mark had pointed out, it's Pluto really pulled a good one.

• 42:09Speaker 03

  Right now it kinda looks like it has my hairline. It's kinda shaded on the back and sides has a little fluff on top. I give way to be. Oh babe, be for babe, be for babe, be for babe. All right, this is a, whatever this is, is spicy. Selassia.

• 42:23Speaker 02

  Trans Neptunian object in the Kuiper belt, likely a dwarf planet discovered in 2004, has one moon named Actaea and it orbits the sun once every 274 years. Classified as a cube one O, which is a.

• 42:40Speaker 01

  Cube one O.

• 42:42Speaker 02

  A KBO, I don't know what that is.

• 42:44Speaker 03

  Uh, a Kmart big offer.

• 42:47Speaker 02

  Sure, sure, sure, sure. It's a trans Neptunian object.

• 42:50Speaker 01

  What's Huamei? I don't care, give it whatever.

• 42:53Speaker 03

  I don't know what any of these things are. I'm more interested in Huamea.

• 42:56Speaker 01

  Whoa, Huamea, what the fuck? You want to talk about fat ass? You know, Saturn ain't got nothing on Huamea.

• 43:03Speaker 02

  Rapidly rotating egg shaped dwarf planet in the Kuiper belt beyond Neptune.

• 43:08Speaker 03

  What if that actually is an egg?

• 43:11Speaker 01

  Uh, well, that's a problem.

• 43:13Speaker 02

  What if it's the egg of the next sun?

• 43:15Speaker 03

  What came first, the sun or the egg?

• 43:18Speaker 02

  That's what I'm talking about.

• 43:19Speaker 01

  That's what I'm talking about. I, that's, I've never seen this before in my life. I've never heard of this. I didn't even know planets could be oblong like that. I, I wonder if it's in the process of ripping itself apart or something like, I don't know how it's holding together like that. That, that takes, that's, that's, this definitely earns B tier at least.

• 43:38Speaker 03

  No parents are sitting on it to help it hatch either. It's abandoned, yeah. All right, I'm, I'm cool with B. That's it, that's it.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  Interesting thing.

• 43:45Speaker 01

  All right, we should probably speed this up.

• 43:47Speaker 02

  I mean, we don't have to go through all. There's a whole bunch of shit that we don't have to talk about on this. I mostly wanted to get through the solar system, which we have done. I just want to say, what is make make?

• 43:59Speaker 01

  Oh, I've, I've heard of this.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  Make make dwarf planet. I mean, I assume it's probably like make make or something.

• 44:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's a Cooper Belt dwarf planet.

• 44:08Speaker 03

  In case you ever want to come back, I won't spoil it. Bob, you got some funny stuff on here.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  No, I know. Yeah, it's I just borrowed this. So this is, you know, there's.

• 44:16Speaker 01

  Okay, there's two more. I think we should look at it, which is Planet Nine and Thea, because those are interesting ones.

• 44:23Speaker 03

  Whatever's happening on Thea looks crazy. Planet Nine is just a circle on this image. I don't know.

• 44:27Speaker 01

  So Thea is actually what they think is slammed into Earth, like primordial Earth, and exploded it in to make the moon. And they think they've looked at this recently in the like geological conglomeration of surveys of the Earth. They think they see pieces of Thea embedded in the crust of, or not the crust, the mantle of the Earth. They think they can see evidence of this other thing that slammed in and had the pieces of it that are still in the planet.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  Interesting.

• 45:05Speaker 01

  That is pretty cool. I mean, lost, fought Earth and lost, but you know, still it made the moon.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  Earth is eight here and it put up a good fight with Earth because it did. It did make the moon.

• 45:17Speaker 03

  Earth is still wielding the scars. Mark just said that. B, high B?

• 45:21Speaker 01

  High B, I would put a high B, yeah.

• 45:23Speaker 02

  I'm gonna say above moons, but below planets and B.

• 45:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, it gets a lot of props for giving Earth what it has right now.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  It made a moon, so it has to be above the moons.

• 45:34Speaker 01

  I agree. That's fair. That's fair.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Planet nine, a hypothetical massive planet believed to exist in the far outer solar system, far beyond Neptune, proposed by astronomers Mike Brown and Konstantin Bettegan. Its existence is suggested by the clustered eccentric orbits of distant trans-Neptunian objects, which indicate a gravitational influence from a hidden large body, potentially five to 10 times the mass of Earth, taking 10 to 20,000 years to orbit the sun. I can't, I've heard about this before, and I'm not at all like an astronomy nerd or anything. So I don't, I don't look into this stuff very deeply. I could never tell if this is like a conspiracy theory that's only pushed by wackos who are like, there's

• 46:20Speaker 02

  a secret planet, and there's a civilization on it, and they plan a sheet at Earth, or if this is like a real thing, because it seems to be scientifically backed and a theory that's put forward by actual like astronomers. I don't know.

• 46:33Speaker 03

  I like seeing the orbit, how its orbit goes completely different direction than everyone else's. I also like the image where there's an actual just question mark on it.

• 46:40Speaker 01

  That would be weird if we got like, oh, Voyager just so happened to do a flyby. What the fuck is the Riddler's?

• 46:46Speaker 02

  That's where the Riddler's from.

• 46:50Speaker 06

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• 47:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, there you go.

• 47:22Speaker 03

  Why didn't I say the Riddler? I thought it got milk for some reason.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  I mean, it's kind of cool. I like this.

• 47:31Speaker 01

  Kind of like a, you know, scary story you tell in the dark kind of thing. It's kind of fun.

• 47:35Speaker 02

  I like stuff where science is like, well, this should exist. Doesn't make any fucking sense that there would be this huge planet so far away, but also all the, all the- Things we have, the gravitational readings we can get, they suggest that this should exist. So I guess we're just gonna say it's a thing.

• 47:53Speaker 03

  Maybe put it next to Uranus. It's another mystery hole.

• 47:55Speaker 02

  I do like it better than Mercury.

• 47:57Speaker 03

  I don't think it's quite as cool because Halmaia, because like Halmaia was just so weird. We had more images of it. I think Planet Nine is just suffering from our lack of knowledge.

• 48:05Speaker 02

  But it's cool. But if it is out there.

• 48:08Speaker 03

  Yeah, it would, it would go up. The more we know, the more would go up. Yeah, or it could go down if it turns out as lame. That's true. Yeah. It's a good tier list. I feel like we did a good job.

• 48:16Speaker 02

  I think astronomers will agree for us for decades, ages even. What kind of time measurements do astronomers favor? Light years. That's time, right? Light years. And our only F tier is Titania. Titanium, because it wishes, it wishes it was Titan, but it's not.

• 48:32Speaker 03

  You know why I'm having such bad luck today? Hamia is in retrograde.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  Ah, hmm. But Triton is in Hark.

• 48:41Speaker 03

  I laughed. I laughed.

• 48:42Speaker 02

  You did. You didn't even point at me and say, that's funny. You actually laughed, which I appreciate. That's gonna be the end of the episode. Uh, let's go over who got points for which. And no particular order. Wade, you got points for saying hi, boys, when I prompted you to.

• 48:57Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 48:57Speaker 02

  Pokemon again, I guess. You got a jealousy point. You got a point for Bunny Tyler for still being bald. For yo, fun moon, fun name. You got a point for, you're still showing the hexagon.

• 49:11Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, that's.

• 49:12Speaker 02

  And you got a point for got milk for some reason. Mark, you got a point for saying hi, boys. You got a point for Thaki for pandering. You got a render farm destroyed point. You got a wink wonk point. B for bitch. You had a point for moon. When you were describing how the moon was made. Uh, you got a point for accurately selling us on how much Saturn fucks. Uh, you got a point for Hark, Triton. And you got a point for the Riddler planet. Because we both said it at the exact same moment. And that's what smart people do. That makes the final score. Well, that's not the final score. The current score, 10 points for Mark and 8 points for Wade.

• 49:55Speaker 03

  Oh, I'm still in the running. I thought.

• 49:56Speaker 02

  I was getting destroyed. I'm still in the running. You're still showing the hexagon really saved you cuz. I still have the tab open. I'm not gonna lie. It's there. I didn't really have a thing planned for what I want to add to the wheel. I don't really want to do like a planet, a tier list one. I want to do one that takes away a point. You know what? Minus one point for, I'm gonna say either making fun of Mark for being short or making fun of Wade for being bald. Oh, did someone have to do it or? You don't have to do it. I just feel like those come up a lot, but it's like if you, if you made a Marcus short joke or a Wade is bald joke, you minus one point. If Wade makes bald jokes, it still counts. No self deprecating. Oh, I self defecate all the time.

• 50:40Speaker 02

  You defecate all over yourself. Uh, anyway, uh, how many? That's the first thing we do. Woo hoo. Eight, eight, eight. Oh, just enough, just enough. So you're saying there's a chance. Two is not the number that I would have picked. Tell you that. You're not gonna do your little wee woo. You're actually doing it? Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna spin it for real. So there's no cheating or anything. Most personal attacks.

• 51:06Speaker 02

  We were only attacking Mars there. So, um, I guess that would be the personal. Yeah, well, we talked a lot of shit about Mars and, and, uh, Ti- Titania. I, I, I came for Mercury pretty hard. I was, I was pretty straight out of the gate, you know? B, B is for bitch. That's true. Mark had the strongest personal attacks against, against some of the, some of the debated issues today. I, I feel like I have to agree with that. I might've come at Mars the hardest, but Mark went for more planets harder. All right, golf rules. Yeah, barring any terrible things happening, I'm not gonna be spinning the winner's wheel today. Basically guaranteed the sudden death wedge would not possibly pop up again, right? Ooh, Kate.

• 51:50Speaker 02

  Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. You know, my Scottish Sweden accent. I don't think anyone used any accent. Is the, is the well de faux reference an accent? It was more like a dramatic. I, I think that's a respind. I answer, I don't think there were really any, any serious accents. Good. The sudden death tile would never come up again. Ah. Does that count?

• 52:15Speaker 02

  I think that does count. I'm taking it.

• 52:18Speaker 01

  Swept again. So if it landed on that and no one's made a joke and then it landed on minus one for the short joke.

• 52:26Speaker 02

  All right, I'll take it. The wheel loses one point. Yeah. If, if the wheel lands on shortest and then the wheel lands on lose a point for short jokes, I feel like the wheel loses the point.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  I say if, if the wheel has to lose a point, it has to spin and we have to remove one of the options.

• 52:41Speaker 02

  Oh, I like that. I'm sure we'll remember that when it comes up. Anyway, Mark remains undefeated in today's episode because he won on base points and then he won both the spins. It's true. Making the final score 12 to eight. Uh, you know what? The only thing Mark is gonna be defeated by is that he doesn't get to make a loser's speech. Wade, loser's speech.

• 53:04Speaker 03

  Not gonna lie, this episode started a little rough. First, my eyes were burning, so I had to run and take out my contacts. Then I removed a wire from under my desk. Then I squirted water everywhere. Then I proceeded to get trampled on at every possible stop along the way to getting crushed by four points. But you know what? I had fun. Our tier list ended up turning out pretty good, I think. Therefore, I accept my place at the bottom of the podium.

• 53:29Speaker 02

  I think it's a great tier list. I'm a fan. I only wish we could put Saturn higher.

• 53:33Speaker 03

  Wish we could put Mars lower.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  It could be lower. It's not even F tier yet. Anyway, Mark, winner's speech.

• 53:39Speaker 01

  At first I thought Wade was employing psychological warfare against me during my elite small talk, but then I remembered, that's just Wade. So then the rest of the episode was just pure confidence all the way through. I knew that this was his, he rolled his dice for how his day was gonna go today, and I knew he rolled a critical one from that point on, and I had it in the bag. So, yeah, thank you, uh, for allowing me to get this win. Hand of fate.

• 54:07Speaker 03

  I rolled a four.

• 54:08Speaker 01

  Pretty low.

• 54:09Speaker 02

  Congratulations to Mark, our glorious and brilliant and beautiful winner. And congratulations to Wade for having the privilege of losing to Mark. Make sure you check out their channels, Mark Piler, LordManion777, Manion777, I'm IceKirm. Make sure you follow the podcast and then you'll always get a little beep boop on your phone when the thing comes out and you'll watch it or listen to it or whatever. Well, you should watch it though. And make sure you check out the merch and keep that bad boy up there because it sells out real fast. Every drop we've had sells out real fast. If you actually want to get some, you gotta pay attention. Yeah, yeah, maybe there'll be more someday. Distractible.shop is where you should look. Anyway, that's the end of the episode. Mark's gonna host the next one and Wade will be there too. See you on the next episode of Distractible. We're out of here.

• 54:54Speaker 02

  Podcast out.

• 54:58Speaker 04

  Watch new episodes on Spotify.