Pod Insights The Dentalpreneur Podcast Dr. Mark Costes 2467: Building Mental Toughness in Young Athletes About this episode On today's episode, we're sharing a powerful live talk Dr. Mark Costes gave to the Prescott High School boys' soccer team following a tough early-season loss. In a raw, motivating message, Mark addresses the emotional aftermath of defeat and challenges the players to take radical accountability—reminding them that adversity offers a critical opportunity for self-reflection, growth, and leadership. Drawing from his own athletic background and principles of stoicism and extreme ownership, he emphasizes that true development doesn't happen when things go right—but when you choose how to respond when they don't. Mark leads the team through a simple but impactful exercise to identify personal areas of improvement and publicly commit to one key focus before the next game. From shifting mindset to supporting teammates more intentionally, this talk highlights the kind of mental resilience and character-building that transcends the scoreboard. Be sure to check out the full episode from the Dentalpreneur Podcast! EPISODE RESOURCES https://www.truedentalsuccess.com Dental Success Network Subscribe to The Dentalpreneur Podcast
Transcript 0:08 Speaker 00 What's up dental for doors. It's that time again. We're excited to announce the 13th Annual Dental Success Summit happening June 11 through 13 2026 at the Omni PGA Frisco Resort and Spa in Frisco, Texas. Right now, our 30% off promo tickets are live, offering 30% off your summit registration. If you're planning to join us this year, now's a great time to secure your spot. This year, we're thrilled to welcome Gina Wickman, bestselling author of traction and creator of the entrepreneurial operating system as our featured keynote speaker. If you care about clarity, leadership, and building a business that actually runs without chaos, this is going to be a game changer for you. We're also bringing back the expanded
0:50 Speaker 00 breakout sessions for both doctors and team members with focus tracks for clinical leadership, operations, front office, hygiene, and assistance. These were a huge success last year, and we're leveling up even more for 2026. You'll earn 14 CE credits, get out of the practice, spend intentional time with your team, and walk away with strategies you can actually implement right away. DSI and DSN members receive additional discounts, so be sure to check DSN on WorkVivo for your codes. The 30% off promo is available for a limited time and runs through the beginning of April. Prices will continue to increase from here, and like every year, this event will sell out. Just search Dental Success Summit to secure your seats today. See you in Frisco.
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2:59 Speaker 01 The dentalpreneur podcast. Okay, doctor, it's time to put down that handpiece. You're listening to the show dedicated to helping dentists get their lives back. It's time to decrease your stress, increase your profitability and regain your passion. Now introducing your host, Dr. Mark Costes.
3:22 Speaker 00 Hello and welcome to another episode of the downpreneur podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Mark Costes. Hey friends, what is up? This is a unique episode.
3:32 Speaker 00 I've shared some of these talks with you guys before, but I have the great privilege of being able to work as, I wouldn't even call it work, but to serve as rather, the mindset coach for my son's soccer team, the Prescott High School varsity soccer team. He's been a starting soccer player, star soccer player. Since he was a freshman, he played more minutes than anybody else on his team as a freshman in high school. And now he's in his junior year, they're making a serious run this year for hopefully a state title. And they're doing incredible.
4:11 Speaker 00 Soccer has been a big part of our lives since my youngest son Bryce was about seven years old and traveling for competitive soccer. And then my middle son Brendan ended up choosing baseball as his favorite sport. And then my last son, my youngest son Brady here, this is, we got a year and a half till we're empty nesters. He is a tennis player, varsity tennis player, varsity football player. He's the kicker on the football team and of varsity soccer player. So he is a busy dude. Plus, he's in student council and National Honor Society. So this kid is legit. And he's the captain of the soccer team this
4:50 Speaker 00 year and next. So lots of, lots of great memories are being made right now for not just his parents, but for him as well. But what a cool thing. The coach reached out to me at the tail end of last year and asked if I would work on some mindset stuff with them, talking to them about some of the things that we talk about on this podcast and some of the things that we talk about inside the mastermind group, inside DSN, things I love to talk about with dental students. I also do some speaking engagements outside of dentistry and I'm talking about the same types of things because people are people and business is business. No matter what profession it is that you're in, there's some universal truths,
5:34 Speaker 00 I think, that come to light when we're all navigating this crazy thing that we call life. So in this particular talk, I was getting them ready for one of their more important games. I talked to them about the difference between tactics, technique, and mindset, and leadership, and how to grow through adversity. I talked about Nelson Mandela's famous quote, "You either win or you learn." We talked a lot about Jaco Willink and Ryan Holiday and Stoicism. We talked about mindset over scoreboard and I challenged them to shift focus from outcomes to attitude, teamwork, and effort. And then like a simple self-reflection exercise where we talk about breath work to calm the mind. We talk-
6:20 Speaker 00 About visualization exercises, things like that. So it was a short one, but hopefully you guys get a little insight from it. Want you to know that, you know, I share everything on this podcast. So speaking to my son's soccer team may seem a little bit out of left field when you're listening to a dental business podcast, but I think it all applies. Alright guys, let me know what you think and we'll talk to you soon. Take care. Yesterday was kind of hard. I know, I understand. I have two quotes that I want to start with and I am going to keep it short tonight. I don't want to talk at you guys tonight. I want to talk with you. I know that a lot of you guys probably, hey, thanks. I know that a lot of you guys probably don't want to sit here and listen to me tonight and I respect that 100%,
7:04 Speaker 00 but I do ask that you give me your undivided attention, just for about 15, 20 minutes, if you guys can do that. And if you could just take the time to kind of listen to the things I'm saying, I'm here because I understand what you're going through. I was a person of sport my entire life. I've had my ass kicked way worse than that. Not just on the pitch or on the field, but like physically have my ass kicked worse than that. So I want you guys to know that I understand where you're coming from and these types of
7:36 Speaker 00 losses, a start of a season like this that had a lot of promise. These are actually really great opportunities to do a little bit of self-reflection and to improve and to set things in a favorable direction. And I'm not talking about a scoreboard. I'm talking about the way that your mind works and the way that you're processing these sorts of experiences in life. Okay? So I have two different quotes for you guys that I want to start with. The first one is from the late, great Nelson Mandela. It's very simple. His most famous quote was, "You either win or you learn." Okay, there's not a whole lot of learning that happens when you win.
8:19 Speaker 00 All of the learning and all the great things and all the personal development and all the stuff that happens as far as you developing your character, yourself as a man, happens in difficult times.
8:31 Speaker 00 When you lose, that's when all the self-reflection happens. That's when you beat yourself up at night and wonder what I could have done differently. Or if you potentially aren't as evolved and you haven't listened to talks from people like me and other people, maybe you sit up at night wondering what your teammates could have done better. Or maybe you're thinking that it was the refs' fault. Or that if this person on my team didn't do that, or take this step, or didn't hustle, then maybe we could have won that game. That's not what we're doing tonight. Tonight, we're thinking about how we personally can grow from a loss like this and from a
9:14 Speaker 00 season start like this, and how we can change things. Not from a scoreboard perspective, but from an attitude and mental perspective. Okay? The second quote is from everybody's favorite boxer, I hope everybody's favorite boxer, the best of all time in my opinion, and that's Mike Tyson. He said, "Everybody has a plan until you get punched in the face." There's no way to sugarcoat it. Last night, you guys got punched in the face. There were some players that were pretty exceptional on that team. That was a good team. But I do know, I happen to know, that if circumstances were different, if we didn't get that kind of start, if you guys weren't flustered in the beginning, you could have hung with that team.
9:56 Speaker 00 Because I've watched all of you guys that play high-level club sports, you guys have seen teams like that, and you guys have hung with teams like that. So this does not define you as an individual player. This does not define you as a team. Okay? So on behalf of Coach Phil and I, I just want to make this very clear. The score does not define who this team is. The start of the season does not define who this team is. It does not define you as a player, and it does not define this season. Unless you let it. Because right now, you have the opportunity to do two things.
10:35 Speaker 00 You can choose to accept what's happened and self-reflect, and that's what those pieces of paper are for, and I'm going to do an exercise with you guys in a second, and figure out what you personally could have done better. Do you guys remember what our definition of extreme ownership was?
10:56 Speaker 00 Jucko Willink. Okay, extreme ownership is very, very simple. Everything that happens in your life, on the pitch, in business, in your personal life, in relationships, is 100% your fault, for better or for worse. And you get to choose the outcome of that based on the way that you view the world.
11:21 Speaker 00 So it's not the ref's fault, it's not your teammate's fault, it's not Coach Phil's fault. It's your fault to the degree of what you could personally control last night. Okay, that's the second tenet of Stoicism. Only worry about what you can control. Everything else that's beyond your control, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. It's not your responsibility. So the best teams in the world are the ones that are not the ones that never lose. All the best champions in the world have had their... have been punched in the face.
11:58 Speaker 00 But the best teams in the world are the ones that learn from these difficult losses, okay? So I want you guys to reflect on that. So right now, you do. You have two options. It's a fork in the road. It's a proverbial fork in the road right now. You can choose to let the beginning of the season be your guide and the trajectory that you allow the rest of the season to take.
12:22 Speaker 00 You can also allow this to define you as a player, as a team. That's a choice that you make. Or you could take the other fork in the road and you can decide that this is a perfect opportunity to self-reflect and figure out what I could have done a little bit better personally, as an individual player, and what I can learn from this difficult start of the season. Okay, I don't remember what you guys were last year. I think you were either 1-3 or 2-2 going into league play. But it wasn't pretty in the beginning, and you guys swept the league. You guys won the league and you had an extremely good season. There's no reason why you guys can't recover. You were 4-0?
13:06 Speaker 00 2-4 before going in? Yeah, so you guys were 2-4. You had four losses going into region last year. Thanks for that. I didn't remember. But you guys have every opportunity to turn this around.
13:20 Speaker 00 Okay, so once again, extreme ownership. Nobody else's fault but yours. We're looking not out the window, but in the mirror. Okay? So, right now, it's going to come down to, once again, personal reflection. It's going to come down to execution. It's going to come down to the amount of effort. It's going to come down to what it is that you can individually do better and how you can support one another in a deeper way. So here are the things that you can control. What is something that you personally can control? My attitude. Okay? What is something, somebody else? Something that you can personally control? Something that's not out of your control? AJ? Your efforts.
14:05 Speaker 00 Your efforts. That's right. These are two great ones. What else? Your response to failure. Ah, this is right. That was next on my list, Toto. It's how you respond to failure. How you treat one another when they make a mistake? How you react when you personally make a mistake? And how you learn when you actually have a difficult situation or when you lose a game? Okay?
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15:48 Speaker 00 Anyone can play hard when they're winning. Anyone can have a great attitude and be a great team player when they're winning. The true challenge actually comes in situations like this. I actually saw some glimmers of brilliance last night. When you guys came out in the second half, that first five minutes was really, really good. And what really made me optimistic and proud of you guys was the fact that you guys, after being down by so many goals, came out really, really hard in the second half. You played very, very hard in the second half. And yeah, mistakes were made and they had superior players. We were down one man.
16:28 Speaker 00 You know, we were playing with a keeper that hasn't been in the box for three years, maybe, or if ever. And you did a great job too, Cruz. You guys did the best under the circumstances. So I want you guys to be proud of one another, but at the same time, also be self-critical of what you could have done better. Not beat yourself up, but take the time to self-reflect and try to hone in on something that you could have done better. Alright, so the pieces of paper in front of you right now, we're gonna just do an exercise. I want you to write down three things that you could have done better last night that
17:05 Speaker 00 you're gonna focus on improving mentally and physically before the match tomorrow. Do you need a new piece of paper? There you go, bro. Do you have a pencil? Yeah. So I'll give you guys a couple of minutes. Three things that you could have done better. Three ways that you can improve in your performance or your support of your teammates between now and the match tomorrow. Whether or not you got 90 minutes or zero minutes, I want you guys to take this seriously because every person sitting in this room is part of this team.
17:45 Speaker 00 Okay, next step, I want you to take a look at your three top priorities and circle the number one priority that you have between now and then. Okay, awesome. Okay, so now, a lot of that stuff was mindset stuff and that was fantastic. That's what we're talking about tonight. Now I want you guys to take a second and visualize something physical that you could improve on. If it's a step, if it's an angle, if it is retrieving the ball after you lost it, think about something right now which you think is, would number one, if you could do better tomorrow, that would be, that would make a difference in the game and your overall performance. So take a second to think of one thing, a single thing.
18:30 Speaker 00 Okay, we all have one? Okay, everybody shut your eyes.
18:35 Speaker 00 Face forward, I want your feet flat on the ground in front of you, your hands in your lap.
18:40 Speaker 00 Sit up straight, shoulders back.
18:44 Speaker 00 Okay. So there is a study, a very, very well-known study, that the subconscious does not know the difference between the conscious mind. In fact, there was a study where they had people that were, they had them only imagine that they were doing bicep curls for two weeks. Imagining that they were gradually increasing the strength in their left and their right bicep by gradually increasing the weight of the curls that they were doing. And after a two-week period of time, after never having lifted a weight, they were 13% stronger than they were before the mental exercise. So this isn't bullshit, this is real. Your subconscious does not know the difference between
19:27 Speaker 00 what happens to you physically and what you are practicing physically and what you are practicing mentally. So what I want you guys to do is take that one physical feat or physical act that you decided that you could improve upon, that would significantly improve your play tomorrow night, and I want you to slowly imagine yourself doing it perfectly 10 times. Okay, this is gonna take you guys at least three minutes to do this. So, one after the other, one clean all the way through, flawless execution of the thing that you decided that you could improve upon. So I want you to do that 10 times. Go ahead and go. You guys can open your eyes when you're done. Take this seriously.
20:15 Speaker 00 Awesome. Okay. Raise your hand if you commit. If you commit to yourself that you will do that 100 more times tonight on your own. Raise your hand if you commit to it. Okay, you're making a promise to yourself, not to me. Okay, there's a difference between integrity and personal integrity. Integrity means that you do the right thing when nobody else is looking. Okay, that's the third grade definition of integrity. Personal integrity means that you keep promises to yourself. That means that nobody else knows if you're not gonna do that 100 more times tonight, but you just made a promise to yourself in front of everybody. Nobody else is gonna know. You can lie to me tomorrow and say you did it.
20:58 Speaker 00 I'm not gonna ask you because that is between you and yourself. So, personal integrity means that you keep promises to yourself. So, if you're gonna commit to do something, if that is to focus on those three top priorities and to do that visualization exercise 100 more times tonight, nobody else in this room will know, except for you. So, you have to decide if you're a person of integrity and if you have personal integrity, if you can keep promises to yourself. If you're a person of personal integrity, even if you have to develop that over time and it doesn't come naturally, it will change everything about your life. Not just how well, how good of a soccer player you are, or how good of grades you get,
21:42 Speaker 00 or whether or not you get a bachelor's degree or a doctorate. It will change every single thing about your life if you can keep promises to yourself and you're a person of integrity. Okay. So, I'm gonna end with just a couple words. Three things that I want you guys to remember about this beginning of this season. Short memory. Toto said that. High standards.
22:11 Speaker 00 And we're going to do this together as a team. Okay, three things. When the season is over, you guys are not going to remember necessarily how badly you won or lost any of these games. You might not even remember your record, but you will remember the person, the man that you became because of talks like this, because of the effort that you put forth, and because of your brothers that are standing next to you. Okay? So, seniors, I want you to stand up right now.
22:45 Speaker 00 Okay. Everybody else on the team, I want you guys to look around.
22:50 Speaker 00 The seniors here have a handful of games left, potentially in their entire soccer career. Some of them might go on and play intramural soccer, or club soccer, or even college soccer. But the vast majority of the seniors that are standing in front of you guys, this is it. They may never, ever kick a ball competitively again.
23:10 Speaker 00 You seniors deserve to have the season of your life, whether or not we win all the rest of the games, or you just play the best you ever could possibly play. And you guys that are sitting next to them deserve to support them in any way that you can, because you have more seasons than they do. This is it for them. Okay, so do it for your brothers. It's not about the score. It's about doing your individual best and supporting your team members to the best of your ability. Okay? You guys with me? Thank you so much for your attention. Good luck tomorrow, boys.
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27:34 Speaker 01 And that wraps it up for another episode of the Dentalpreneur Podcast. Look forward to reconnecting on the next episode.
27:45 Speaker 01 Thank you so much for joining us today on the Dentalpreneur Podcast. Check out truedentalsuccess.com for full recaps of every show, a schedule of our live events, free video tutorials, and a whole host of practice building resources.
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