What Are We Fighting About, Really?

There’s a great lyric in the bridge of the new Bruce Springsteen song, Tucson Train: We fought hard over nothin'We fought till nothin' remainedI've carried that nothin' for a long timeDoesn’t that just perfectly capture—in such a sad and telling way—many of our relationships and grudges? We turn nothing into something and then hold onto it like it’s everything until there’s nothing left. Then we wonder why we’re unhappy. We wonder why we’re lonely. We wonder where people we used to love have gone. We wonder where the good times went. The answer: We drove them away. We ground them into dust. Marcus Aurelius struggled with this, too. He had a problem like we all do with anger and taking offense and getting into arguments and needing to prove people wrong. If he hadn’t, he would have never had to write this little reminder in Meditations.“Run down the list of those who felt intense anger at something: the most famous, the most unfortunate, the most hated, the most whatever: Where is all that now? Smoke, dust, legend…or not even a legend. Think of all the examples. And how trivial the things we want so passionately are.”It’s heartbreaking. It’s true. And all of us are guilty of it in our own way. What are we fighting about? Why do we so passionately need to be right? Why can’t we just let things go? If only we could change… See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to The Daily Stoic, where each day we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living the good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at DailyStoic.com. What are we fighting about, really? There's a great lyric in the bridge of the new Bruce Springsteen song, "Tucson Chain." "We fought hard over nothing," he sings. "We fought till nothing remained, and I carried that nothing for a long time." Doesn't that just perfectly capture, in such a sad and telling way, many of our relationships

• 0:51Ryan Holiday?

  and grudges? We turn nothing into something and then hold on to it like it's everything. Then we wonder why we're unhappy. We wonder why we're lonely. We wonder where people we used to love have gone. We wonder where the good times went. The answer: we drove them away. We ground them into dust. Marcus Aurelius struggled with this too, had a problem like we all do with anger and taking offense and getting into arguments and needing to prove people wrong. If he hadn't, he never would have written this little reminder in Meditations. Run down the list of those who felt intense anger at something, the most famous, the most unfortunate, the most hated, the most whatever. Where is all that now? Smoke, dust, legend, or not

• 1:36Ryan Holiday?

  even legend? Think of all the examples and how trivial the things we want so passionately are. It's heartbreaking. It's true. And all of us are guilty of it in our own way. What are we fighting about? What do we so passionately need? Why do we so passionately need to be right? Why can't we just let things go? If only we could change.

• 2:01Ryan Holiday?

  Memento Mori, remember death, remember you are mortal. Or as Marcus Aurelius said, "You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think." I actually wear this reminder in a signet ring on my finger, one of the most ancient and, I think, meaningful forms of jewelry there is. I wear it on my right ring finger. And we now make a Memento Mori Signet Ring in the Daily Stoic Store. You can check it out at dailystoic.com/store.