This is the Struggle

Ryan explains what the Stoics can teach us about controlling our emotions when it matters most, on today’s Daily Stoic Podcast. Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: http://DailyStoic.com/emailFollow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, and FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:05Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a passage of ancient wisdom designed to help you find strength, insight, and wisdom in everyday life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at DailyStoic.com.

• 0:27Ryan Holiday?

  This is the struggle. He said after words that "I thought it was awesome." But the video doesn't lie. Cole Calhoun was frustrated. This kid reaches up and snags the foul ball that Calhoun, the right fielder for the Arizona Diamondbacks, was just about to reach out and grab for an easy out. Players love the fans, but they hate stuff like this. The game is already so tough. Players already have to worry about crowd noise. Now they have to worry about crowd interference? But that's what's so noteworthy about this moment, and you really should watch the video. It's that despite Cole's immediate invisible frustration, he doesn't get upset. He doesn't yell. He doesn't say or do anything at all for a full beat. Then he takes a breath.

• 1:12Ryan Holiday?

  He reaches over, and he gives the kid a fist bump, telling him to be ready to be the number one play on SportsCenter that night. After the game, Cole was philosophical about the whole thing. "Brings out the kid in you," he said. "Kind of brings some perspective. That's why we play this game." That kid is never going to forget that. What a moment for him. Remember, the Stoics are not superhuman. They are very much human. They have preferences. They have frustrations. What makes them extraordinary is their ability to rise above these moments and impulse reactions to behave the right way, to actually behave the way they always hoped they would when they contemplated the uncertainties that come with adversity.

• 1:55Ryan Holiday?

  In a sense, this is what makes the clip so impressive. If Calhoun simply didn't care about what happened to the ball, if he was just going through the motions on the field, then his poise in the situation wouldn't mean anything. It wouldn't even be poise. It's that he grabbed hold of himself and stopped himself from getting very understandably upset. And that's what makes it impressive. Calhoun practiced the pause between stimulus and response and was greater for it. Seneca said that delay was the best remedy for anger. Perspective, as Calhoun said, is a close second. He was able to see it from the viewpoint of a kid in a fan, uncolored from his own drive to win or to get the out. He was able to calm himself down. He was able to make the most of the situation and, in the process, teach that kid a wonderful

• 2:40Ryan Holiday?

  lesson in sportsmanship. A lesson we could all stand to relearn right now, today. And look, some of us have even more trouble doing this than others, those of us who are wired to have a temper or have built up a nasty habit of giving into one over the years. That's why we built the Daily Stoic Tame Your Temper Challenge, which you can check out at dailystoic.com/temper. A bunch of awesome exercises, daily challenges to help you hopefully get in a place where you can be provoked and frustrated and not lose your cool. And you can also get it free if you sign up for Daily Stoic Life, which you can get at dailystoiclife.com.