It’s Not As Unfortunate As It Seems

Things we didn’t want to happen happen to all of us. A business deal falls through. A grade comes back that we didn’t expect. A person we care about leaves us. Our instinct is to call these events unfortunate. Which makes sense. It’s fortunate when you get what you want, it’s unfortunate when, for whatever reason, you don’t. Right? Marcus Aurelius proposed a different way of looking at things. Instead of telling ourselves that we’re unfortunate because our expectations were disappointed, we should do the opposite:“No it's fortunate that this has happened and I've remained unharmed by it -- not shattered by the present or frightened of the future. It could have happened to anyone. But not everyone could have remained unharmed by it.” To a Stoic, we’re only harmed when our character is affected. We’re only harmed when we let go of what we believe in or when we drop our own standards. It might not be desirable to lose money or a friend, to fail at something or to be criticized, but how does that make us unfortunate? We haven’t been deprived of our ability to respond. Our character remains intact. There’s no rule that says you have to freak out about this or shattered by it or that you have to start getting anxious about the future. No, you’re still in control. You’re still you. That’s very fortunate. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to The Daily Stoic, where each day we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living the good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at dailystoic.com. It's not as unfortunate as it seems. Things we didn't want to happen, happen to all of us. A business deal falls through, a grade comes back that we didn't expect, a person we care about leaves us. Our instinct is to call these events unfortunate, which makes

• 0:47Ryan Holiday?

  sense. It's fortunate when you get what you want. It's unfortunate when, for whatever reason, you don't, right? Marcus Aurelius proposed a different way of looking at things. Instead of telling ourselves that we're unfortunate because our expectations were disappointed, he said we should do the opposite, as he wrote, "No, it's fortunate that this has happened and I've remained unharmed by it, not shattered by the present or frightened of the future." It could have happened to anyone, but not everyone could have remained unharmed by it. To a Stoic, we're only harmed when our character is affected. We're only harmed when we let

• 1:28Ryan Holiday?

  go of what we believe in, or when we drop our own standards. It might not be desirable to lose money or a friend, to fail at something, or to be criticized, but how does that make us unfortunate? We haven't been deprived of our ability to respond. Our character remains intact. There's no rule that says you have to freak out about this, or get shattered by it, or that you have to start getting anxious about the future. No, you're still in control. You're still you. And that's very fortunate. If you like the podcast that we do here, and you want to get it via email every morning, you can sign up at dailystoic.com/email.