Forgiveness Isn’t Easy, But It’s Essential

The great C. S Lewis observed that we all find forgiveness to be a lovely idea...right up until we have someone to forgive. It’s true. Forgiveness is one of those virtues that’s easy to talk about, but incredibly hard to practice. Particularly when we are hurt, or when we have been seriously wronged. Yet, isn’t that sort of the point? Forgiveness wouldn’t be that impressive, it wouldn’t be that meaningful, if it came naturally. If it could be so easily tossed off. Think of Laura Tibbetts, whose daughter was killed by an undocumented immigrant in 2018. After the body was discovered, all sorts of letters poured in. People tried to stoke her passions to make her angry. This is why we need to build a wall, they said. Those people are animals. We need to protect ourselves. And what did she do? She opened her home to a young boy whose parents were also undocumented immigrants and had worked in the very same fields as the man who had murdered her daughter. That’s not just a lovely example of forgiveness, it’s a profoundly virtuous and impressive thing to do. There must be so much pain in Laura’s heart, so much anger. Yet she has risen above it. She has found a way to see through the rage and the hurt to find something common in their shared humanity. Something she could support and care for, rather than dismiss or rail against. The Stoics believed that these sorts of gestures were the essence of greatness. They believed these were the moments we train for. It’s easy to say that forgiveness is important. It’s easy to talk about sympatheia, or how we are all part of a larger whole, alongside our fellow humans. But it is so hard to do. Because life challenges us. Life throws tragedy at us. Instead of calling us to be better, to live up to a higher standard, the media and our fellow citizens often try to drag us down into the mud, encouraging our basest instincts. We have to keep reaching for that higher standard, though. We have to push through the pain and the anger. We have to pull ourselves out of the mud. We have to forgive. We have to try to be good...and in the process, be great. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to The Daily Stoic, where each day we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living the good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at DailyStoic.com. Forgiveness isn't easy, but it's essential. The great C.S. Lewis observed that we all find forgiveness to be a lovely idea, right up until we have someone to forgive. It's true, forgiveness is one of those virtues that's easy to talk about but incredibly hard to practice, particularly when we are hurt or when we have been seriously wronged.

• 0:49Ryan Holiday?

  Yet, isn't that sort of the point? Forgiveness wouldn't be that impressive, it wouldn't be that meaningful, if it came naturally, if it could be so easily tossed off. Think of Laura Tibbetts, whose daughter was killed by an undocumented immigrant in 2018. After the body was discovered, all sorts of letters poured in. People tried to stoke her passions, to make her angry. "This is why we need to build a wall," they said. "Those people are animals. We need to protect ourselves." And what did she do? She opened her home to a young boy whose parents were also undocumented immigrants and had worked in the very same fields as the man who had murdered her daughter. That's not just a lovely example of forgiveness.

• 1:31Ryan Holiday?

  It's a profoundly virtuous and impressive thing to do. There must be so much pain in Laura's heart, so much anger, yet she has risen above it. She has found a way to see through the rage and the hurt to find something common in their shared humanity, something she could support and care for, rather than dismiss or rail against. The Stoics believed that these sorts of gestures were the essence of greatness. They believed that these were the moments we train for. It's easy to say that forgiveness is important. It's easy to talk about sympathy, or how we are all part of a larger whole alongside our fellow ...of humans, but it is so hard to do because life challenges us. Life throws tragedy at us.

• 2:16Ryan Holiday?

  Instead of calling us to be better, to live up to a higher standard, the media and our fellow citizens often try to drag us down into the mud, encouraging our basest instincts. We have to keep reaching for that higher standard, though. We have to push through the pain and the anger. We have to pull ourselves out of the mud. We have to forgive, and we have to try to be good. And in the process, be great. In exciting news, we now have an obstacle is the way pendant. If you want to carry this idea with you everywhere you go, it's a necklace you can wear. It says, "The obstacle is the way," in the front. It has a mountain, a path carved through the steep mountain up to the top. And on the back, it has that quote from Marcus Aurelius,

• 3:00Ryan Holiday?

  "The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." You can check it out at dailystoic.com/store.