Find A Point!

Peter Barton’s beautiful memoir, Not Fade Away: A Short Life Well Lived, takes readers along a man’s search for meaning when he’s forced to confront mortality. Struggling for a reason to persist amid a terminal diagnosis, his wife, Laura, orders Peter to "Find a point!" "So where was I supposed to find something to feel good about, some realm where I could still feel strong and hopeful? The answer now seems obvious, but for me it was the hardest place to accept: that realm was my mind. My frame of mind was something I could still control. Doing so would be a sort of victory I was not accustomed to valuing—a total inward, private victory—but a legitimate accomplishment nevertheless. I resolved to control my own discomforts, to rise above them if I possibly could. In doing so, I came to understand the deep truth that, while my pain may be unavoidable, suffering is largely optional…Pain can make you thoroughly miserable, or pain can just be pain. The trick, I've realized, is to confine it to the body and not let it infect the mind.”Not only is this separation between pain and suffering a very Stoic idea, but this idea of “Finding a point” is an exercise we all need to practice. It’s part and parcel of amor fati. When someone we love has been hurt, we need to find a point (for instance, that this will bring us closer together and remind us to not take time for granted). When a project we are working on fails, we need to find a point (to examine our choices and the systems by which we operate or simply realize that not everything we are going to do will be successful). When we are stuck in traffic, we need to find a point (that this is a chance to listen to a podcast or make a phone call). When we feel exhausted and burned out, find a point (your body is telling you something, or remember why or who you are making this sacrifice for). Do these points magically undo what we are feeling in those moments? Of course not. Nothing can. But they do make sure the feeling is not permanent, nor completely in vain and without value. This is the crucial distinction between pain and suffering. Suffering is needless. Pain can instruct. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to The Daily Stoic, where each day we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living the good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at dailystoic.com. Find a Point Peter Barton's beautiful memoir, Not Fade Away: A Short Life Well-Lived, takes readers along a man's search for meaning when he's forced to confront mortality. Struggling for a reason to persist amid a terminal diagnosis, his wife, Laura, orders Peter to "find a

• 0:51Ryan Holiday?

  point." He says, "So where was I supposed to find something to feel good about? Some realm where I could still feel strong and hopeful? The answer now seems obvious, but for me, it was the hardest place to accept. That realm was my mind. My frame of mind was something I could still control. Doing so would be a sort of victory I was not accustomed to valuing, a total inward, private victory, but a legitimate accomplishment nevertheless. I resolved to control my own discomforts, to rise above them if I possibly could. In doing so, I came to understand the deep truth that while my pain may be unavoidable,

• 1:32Ryan Holiday?

  suffering is largely optional. Pain can make you thoroughly miserable, or pain can just be pain. The trick I've realized is to confine it to the body and not let it infect the mind." Not only is this separation between pain and suffering a very Stoic idea, but this idea of finding a point is an exercise we all need to practice. It's part and parcel of amor fati. When someone we love has been hurt, we need to find a point. For instance, that this will bring us closer together and remind us not to take time for granted. When a project we are working on fails, we need to find a point. To examine our choices and the systems by which we operate,

• 2:13Ryan Holiday?

  or simply to realize that not everything we are going to do will be successful. When we are stuck in traffic, we need to find a point, that this is a chance to listen to a podcast or make a phone call. When we feel exhausted or burned out, find a point that your body is telling you something, or remember why or for whom you are making this sacrifice. Do these points magically undo what we are feeling in those moments? Of course not. Nothing can. But they can make sure the feeling is not permanent, nor completely in vain or without value. This is the crucial distinction between pain and suffering. Suffering is needless. Pain can instruct.

• 2:55Ryan Holiday?

  If you like the podcast that we do here, and you want to get it via email every morning, you can sign up at dailystoic.com/email.