Don’t Make This Mistake

There is a repeated pattern of failure in Marcus Aurelius’s life, and no matter how much we might admire him, it’s hard to deny it. His step brother, Lucius Verus, who he elevated to co-emperor, was a ne'er-do-well who never proved himself worthy of Marcus’s respect. His wife, despite his praise for her, was probably unfaithful. His son, despite Marcus’s love for Commodus, was deranged and completely unfit to succeed him. His most trusted general, Avidius Cassius, considering his betrayal of Marcus and attempt to overthrow him, clearly was not deserving of the trust or faith Marcus put in him. These are just four examples, but they are revealing enough that we can assume it was a common pattern in his life. Ernest Renan wrote that if the emperor had one flaw, it was that he was “capable of gross illusions when the matter in hand was rendering to others their proper meed of virtue.” It’s a common failing: Good people often assume that other people are like them. Sadly, this is far too generous of an assumption. The virtues of Marcus Aurelius--his honesty, his loyalty, his commitment to principles, his kindness--these are the exception, not the rule, when it comes to most people. (In fact, we even have a rule about rulers, that absolute power corrupts absolutely, to which Marcus is of course the exception). If anyone should have known better and been able to see through the facade of someone like Commodus or Avidius or Verus, it was Marcus. After all, he wrote in his Meditations repeatedly about the idea. He warned himself about seeing people’s true nature. He wrote about seeing them as sparring partners. He reminded himself not to get too close in the ring to someone who cheated. And yet... We can’t go around thinking that everyone is virtuous, because this misplaced trust is a vice. At the very least, it has very serious consequences for innocent bystanders. The world would have been a better place if Marcus had not projected undeserved virtue on his brother or his son, if he’d had the courage to see them for who they were rather than who he wished they would be. In this sense, Marcus’s personal struggle with evaluating those closest to him is a microcosm of the struggle Stoicism is meant to combat for all of us--dealing with the world as it actually is, rather than how we wish it were. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to The Daily Stoic, where each day we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living the good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at dailystoic.com.

• 0:29Ryan Holiday?

  Don't make this mistake. There is a repeated pattern of failure in Marcus Aurelius's life. No matter how much we might admire him, it's hard to deny it. His stepbrother, Lucius Verus, whom he elevated to co-emperor, was a ne'er-do-well, who never proved himself worthy of Marcus's respect. His wife, despite his praise for her, was probably unfaithful. His son, Commodus, despite Marcus's love for his boy, was deranged and completely unfit to succeed him. His most trusted general, Avidius Cassius, considering his betrayal of Marcus and attempt to overthrow him, clearly was not deserving of the trust or faith that

• 1:11Ryan Holiday?

  Marcus put in him. These are just four examples, but they are revealing enough that we can assume it was a common pattern in his life. Ernest Renan wrote that if the emperor had one flaw, it was that he was capable of gross illusions when the matter in hand was rendering to others their proper meed of virtue. It's a common failing. Good people often assume that other people are like them. Sadly, this is far too generous of an assumption. The virtues of Marcus Aurelius, his honesty, his loyalty, his commitment to principles, his kindness, these are the exception, not the rule, when it comes to most people. In fact, we even have a rule about rulers, that absolute power corrupts absolutely, to which

• 1:53Ryan Holiday?

  Marcus is, of course, the exception. If anyone should have known better and been able to see through the facade of someone like Commodus, or Avidius, or Verus, it was Marcus. After all, he wrote in his meditations repeatedly about the idea. He warned himself about seeing people's true nature. He wrote about seeing them as sparring partners. He reminded himself not to get too close in the ring to someone who cheated. And yet, we can't go around thinking that everyone is virtuous, because this misplaced trust is a vice. At the very least, it has very serious consequences for innocent bystanders. The world would have been a better place if Marcus had not projected undeserved virtue

• 2:35Ryan Holiday?

  on his brother or his son, if he'd had the courage to see them for who they were, rather than who he wished they would be. In this sense, Marcus's personal struggle with evaluating those closest to him is a microcosm of the struggle that Stoicism is meant to combat for all of us, dealing with the world as it actually is, rather than how we wish it were. If you'd like a physical reminder of this idea, check out our Marcus Aurelius print, which now is up on the walls of thousands of people all over the world, and it has some really great advice. It has one of Marcus Aurelius's greatest lines on it. It says, "No more talk about what a good man is like, be one."

• 3:17Ryan Holiday?

  And you can get it in poster size or a small print size for your desk. You can check that out at the Daily Stoic store. Just go to dailystoic.com/store.