Different Folks Need Different Strokes

Confucius was once asked for advice by a student, and in replying essentially urged him to wait and be patient. Later he was asked for advice by another student, and advised that student to not be patient and to solve the problem immediately. An observant third student noticed the seemingly contradictory nature of Confucius’ responses and asked him to explain. Confucius replied, “Ran Qiu is over cautious and so I wished to urge him on. Zilu, on the other hand, is too impetuous, and so I sought to hold him back.” This seems like a fairly obvious insight--that different situations call for different, even potentially opposite solutions. Beyond Confucius, just consider Epictetus: He was not writing things down, but rather speaking aloud to his students. In many cases, what survives of his teachings is in similar form to what we have of Confucius--advice to particular people in particular situations. Same with Seneca’s letters, which were addressed to specific people and specific scenarios, and with Marcus Aurelius who was speaking about his own personal issues. Think of Walt Whitman, a lifelong student of Epictetus, who reminded us that even individuals contradict themselves because they are complicated and contain multitudes. These men were not attempting to explain a comprehensive or even coherent set of beliefs. They were not trying to articulate a paint-by-numbers instruction manual to life. Rather, they were trying to reveal, from their own experience, a general framework of principles that could help people solve an array of specific problems, however they arose. And yet, for centuries, professional philosophers and historians have had trouble comprehending this idea as they attempted to place it in a larger, abstract theoretical context. In fact, it’s due to their intellectualizing and tunnel vision and embarrassing simple-mindedness that Stoicism, specifically, has been misinterpreted as contradictory or unsystematic. Even more frustrating, the fact that many of the principles of Stoicism were born of private meditations on or advice about personal problems or stressors, has led many academics to wrongly believe Stoicism is pessimistic or cynical or even nihilistic. They fail to understand that, at a very basic human level, when we are struggling, our first question is not “how can I feel good?” but rather “how can I not feel so bad?” That is the more urgent need, after all. And for each person, the answer is always a little bit different, because they are different, and their circumstances are different. That is why sometimes the Stoics suggest practicing premeditatio malorum...and other times not to get caught up with all the possibilities of what might happen. It’s why the Stoics talk a lot about overcoming adversity and the problems of life and less about laughter and prosperity (students don’t often rush to their teachers for advice about how to have fun). It’s why Marcus returns to the same themes over and over again (because he needed help there, not because everyone else did). It’s why one Stoic philosopher will talk about working hard and doing one’s duty while another will remind us that we aren’t animals and there is more to life. Because everybody is different, and different strokes for different folks. Different advice for people depending on who they are, what they want, and where they are one day to the next. If there is anything that is consistently and systematically true about the practice of Stoic philosophy, it’s this. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to The Daily Stoic, where each day we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living the good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at dailystoic.com. Different folks need different strokes. Confucius was once asked for advice by a student, and in replying, essentially urged him to wait and be patient. Later, he was asked for advice by another student, and advised that student not to be patient and to solve the problem immediately. An observant third student noticed the seemingly contradictory

• 0:51Ryan Holiday?

  nature of Confucius's responses and asked him to explain. Confucius replied, "Ran key is overcautious, so I wish to urge him on. Xylou, on the other hand, is too impetuous, and so I sought to hold him back." This seems like a fairly obvious insight, that different situations call for different, even potentially opposite, solutions. Beyond Confucius, just consider Epictetus. He was not writing things down, but rather speaking aloud to his students. In many cases, what survives of his teachings is in similar form to what we have of Confucius: advice to particular people in particular situations. Same with Seneca's letters, which were addressed

• 1:36Ryan Holiday?

  to specific people and specific scenarios. And with Marcus Aurelius, who was speaking about his own personal issues. Think of Walt Whitman, a lifelong student of Epictetus, who reminded us that even individuals contradict themselves, because they are complicated and contain multitudes. These men were not attempting to explain a comprehensive or even coherent set of beliefs. They were not trying to articulate a paint-by-numbers instruction manual to life. Rather, they were trying to reveal from their own experience. Experience, a general framework of principles that could help people solve an array of specific problems, however they arose.

• 2:18Ryan Holiday?

  And yet, for centuries, professional philosophers and historians have had trouble comprehending this idea as they attempted to place it in a larger, abstract, theoretical context. In fact, it's due to their intellectualizing and tunnel vision and embarrassing simple-mindedness that Stoicism specifically has been misinterpreted as contradictory or unsystematic. Even more frustrating, the fact that many of the principles of Stoicism were born of private meditations on or advice about personal problems or stressors has led many academics to wrongly believe Stoicism is pessimistic, or cynical, or even nihilistic.

• 2:59Ryan Holiday?

  They fail to understand that, at a very basic human level, when we are struggling, our first question is not, "How can I feel good?", but rather, "How can I not feel so bad?". That is the more urgent need, after all. And for each person, the answer is always a little bit different, because they are different, and their circumstances are different. That is why sometimes the Stoics suggest practicing premeditatio melorum, and other times not to get caught up with all the possibilities of what might happen. It's why the Stoics talk a lot about overcoming adversity and the problems of life, and less about laughter and prosperity. Students don't often rush to their teachers for advice about how to have fun.

• 3:44Ryan Holiday?

  It's why Marcus returns to the same themes over and over again, because he needed help there, not because somebody else did. It's why one Stoic philosopher will talk about working hard and doing one's duty, while another will remind us that we are not animals and there is more to life. Because everybody is different, and different strokes for different folks, different advice for different people depending on who they are, what they want, and where they are one day to the next. If there's anything that is consistently and systematically true about the practice of Stoicism... It's this. If you want to carry a piece of this Stoic wisdom for any and every situation,

• 4:27Ryan Holiday?

  check out the medallions that we sell in the Daily Stoic store. You can go to dailystoic.com/store. We have one that helps you meditate on your mortality, another on the evils that might lie ahead, another on how to overcome those obstacles, another how to make sure that ego doesn't creep in, and another that makes you powerful and inspire to deal with everything that life throws your way. So check them out, dailystoic.com/coin.