Daily Stoic Sundays: You Don’t Control What Happens, You Control How You Respond

In today's episode, Ryan reads his piece from March 12, "Remember: You Don’t Control What Happens, You Control How You Respond." He discusses how to stay safe amidst the COVID-19 pandemic—and how to think and act Stoically during this crisis. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:04Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Sunday edition of the Daily Stoic Podcast. My name's Ryan Holiday. For over a decade, I've been writing and thinking and talking about Stoicism. And so each Sunday now, we're going to be rolling out a special episode that will be either me riffing on a number of topics, maybe me riffing or expanding on an article that I've written, or deep diving into an idea that I think's important, that I think you'll benefit from. So I hope you like it. Support our sponsors who make this episode possible. And of course, keep studying, keep reading, and thank you.

• 0:41Ryan Holiday?

  Hey, this is Ryan Holiday. This is a special bonus episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. I hope you really take this one seriously, because I think it's one of the most important things we've written in quite some time. Remember, you don't control what happens, you control how you respond. The single most important practice in Stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we can't, what we have influence over and what we do not. "The chief task in life is simply this," Epictetus said, "to identify and separate matters, so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where

• 1:25Ryan Holiday?

  then do I look for good and evil, not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own?" What better opportunity to practice this chief task in life than the one we are currently facing? COVID-19 or coronavirus is here, and it is a global pandemic. If it isn't where you live, there's a good chance it will be soon, and no amount of yelling at the TV will make it go away. Cursing the origin of the virus, being racist, perpetuating conspiracy theories, and hoarding toilet paper will not save you.

• 2:02Ryan Holiday?

  Tweeting will not help anyone. It only distracts you from the many tasks at hand. Neither will sticking your head in the sand and pretending it's not that bad. All these things are wasting time that could be spent saving your life and others. What you can control, as always, is how you respond. What matters is not what other people are doing or have done, but what you do. That means keeping up to date with the latest advice from the World Health Organization, and then actually following it. It means washing your hands often, covering your nose when you sneeze, avoiding large public gatherings, canceling unnecessary travel and work meetings. Don't be stupid. Don't think you are the exception.

• 2:47Ryan Holiday?

  Don't do things that benefit you at the expense of others. If you feel sick, stay at home. Stay at home even if you don't feel sick. Do your part. The goal now is to flatten the curve, to slow the spread of the virus into our hospitals can handle them, to prevent the unnecessary spreading of the virus, and to prevent unnecessary overloading of medical professionals, emergency services, airlines, and other critical infrastructure so that people who actually need these things can access them. No one individual can accomplish this by themselves, but each of us, acting rightly, collectively, can make a big difference.

• 3:26Ryan Holiday?

  As Zeno famously said, "Well-being is realized in small steps, but it is no small thing." And we realize this well-being and fight against the virus by the choices we make right now. And some of these choices include practicing social distancing as much as possible. That means stay away from people outside your family, avoid social events and public gatherings, work from home if possible. If you have employees, do what you can so they can do the same. And implement common sense measures so that your employees and customers are safe. Reduce face-to-face interactions as much as possible. Grant generous sick leave and limit the number of customers at a single time. We are doing all those things here at Daily Stoic, for example.

• 4:10Ryan Holiday?

  Cancel or postpone events if you have them. Make them remote access if possible. Do not prioritize your convenience or entertainment over the potential spread of the virus. Practice safety measures. Wash your hands, as we were talking about. Don't touch your face. Cough into a tissue. Don't shake hands with people. Press buttons with knuckles or elbows. And avoid food that is uncooked. Help others who are in more precarious situations. If you know your neighbor is elderly and planning to make a grocery run, see if you can help them get what they need without leaving the house. Hold off on visiting elderly friends or family members. Yes, you're worried about them. Yes, you miss them. But you put them and their community at risk by stopping at an old folks' home or visiting their house.

• 4:52Ryan Holiday?

  Even if you feel healthy, even if the person you're visiting seems to be in good health, the safest option is to wait to see them. Don't hoard. Hoarding essential goods hurts other members of the community who lack the resources to prepare. Slowly stock up on non-perishable foods and goods so that others can do the same. Long lines at stores only make things worse. Don't tie up medical resources that you don't need. Save masks for doctors, nurse, first responders, and others who need them in the course of their jobs. And don't forget that for now, our testing supply is sorely limited. So do your best not to tie up the critical resources of COVID-19 tests and avoid being a hypochondriac.

• 5:34Ryan Holiday?

  As they're saying, just act as if you have it and isolate yourself accordingly. Self-quarantined and self-isolate. If you believe you may have been exposed, stay in your home. If you don't believe you've been exposed, stay in your home. Use your time wisely. Don't let the possible weeks or months of isolation be for nothing. You can't control how long you'll need to engage in social distancing, but you can control if you spend that time productively. The version of you who steps out of a quarantine at some future date can be better than the person that entered it, if you do the work. Back your online orders if you're stocking up to reduce the need for inefficient shipments and stress on already stressed supply chains. Don't spread misinformation about the virus.

• 6:17Ryan Holiday?

  Instead, make sure that others know how to best handle the spread. If you're someone with a platform, your number one obligation right now is to not spread bullshit. You're not helping, you're hurting. If you get sick, isolate yourself at home as long as symptoms remain moderate. If you have trouble breathing or an older adult 70-plus have a pre-existing lung condition or immunocompromised, be ready to call your doctor or visit an ER. And remember that panic doesn't help. Rushing to sell your stocks, ignoring the needs of others, freaking out, being cross or cruel with others. You know what this does? It takes a bad situation and it makes it worse. Cherish the people you love in the present moment. As scary as it is, it's all we have for certain. But most of all, we need to learn from this.

• 7:02Ryan Holiday?

  Too many of us didn't take this threat seriously for too long. We wasted much of the time that China and other countries paid for dearly. We might not be able to undo what has happened or how we got here, but we must learn this painful lesson. We owe it to our children and to the future to make changes that prevent it from happening again. We study Stoicism for moments like these, to remain calm in the face of chaos, to put aside irrational thoughts and develop a plan to keep us moving forward, to be able to spread the only positive form of contagion there is: calm, so we can acquire wisdom from tragedy and danger. This is our chance to embody those teachings, to prove them when it counts, when life and liberty are on the line.

• 7:47Ryan Holiday?

  As Marcus Aurelius wrote in Meditations, "It stares you in the face." No role is so well-suited to philosophy as the one you happen to be in right now. So do your part. Put your study to practice and inspire those around you to do the same. We are all individually the answers in the choices we make. What we need from you now is what we've always needed and talked about here at Daily Stoic: courage, self-discipline, justice, wisdom. And please, share this episode with anyone you think that might need it, people who are not taking this seriously, people who think it's a joke, people who are not listening. Please, share this episode or some of the tweets or messages we're putting out. We're already hearing that it's making a difference.

• 8:31Ryan Holiday?

  And so that's a little thing that you can do in addition to the stuff we just talked about. Be well. If you like the podcast that we do here and you want to get it via email every morning, you can sign up at dailystoic.com/email.