Blame Yourself—Or No One

The causes of things are complicated, and rarely do they go how we’d like them to go. So it’s easy to point the finger—at other people, at unfair conditions, at the weather, at the advice we got. If it hadn’t been for _______, I’d have won. Why did so-and-so have to get involved like that? It’s all _______’s fault. And yet, the causes of things are also quite simple—at least according to the Stoics. Because to them, the fault always lies with us. We’re the one who chose to listen to that advice, they’d say. We’re the one who left the outcome up to chance, who didn’t plan for all the contingencies. We’re the one whose expectations set us up to be disappointed. Marcus Aurelius’s rule was: Blame yourself—or blame no one. It’s the other side of the idea we were talking about not long ago, that the only place to look for approval is within yourself. The same goes for disapproval and fault-finding. As soon as you try to get it from other people, you’ve compromised your integrity. You’ve handed over your power. So either don’t blame anyone...or blame yourself. For whatever happens. For everything that happens. Those are the options. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to The Daily Stoic, where each day we read a short passage designed to help you cultivate the strength, insight, wisdom necessary for living the good life. Each one of these passages is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women. For more, you can visit us at dailystoic.com.

• 0:29Ryan Holiday?

  Blame yourself or no one. The causes of things are complicated, and rarely do they go how we'd like them to go. So it's easy to point the finger at other people, at unfair conditions, the weather, at the advice we got. If it hadn't been for [blank], I'd have won. Why did so-and-so have to get involved like that? It's all [blank's] fault. And yet, the causes of things are also quite simple, at least according to the Stoics, because to them, the fault always lies with us. "We're the one who chose to listen to that advice," they'd say. "We're the one who left the outcome up to chance, who didn't

• 1:09Ryan Holiday?

  plan for all the contingencies. We're the one whose expectations set us up to be disappointed." Marcus Aurelius's rule was, blame yourself or blame no one. It's the other side of the idea we were talking about not long ago, that the only place to look for approval is within yourself. The same goes for disapproval and fault-finding. As soon as you try to get it from other people, you've compromised your integrity, you've handed over your power. So either don't blame anyone, or blame yourself for whatever happens, for everything that happens. Those are your only options.

• 1:50Ryan Holiday?

  You know, I always ask people, what would getting rid of one bad habit be worth? Or what would adding one new positive habit be worth? What would you give to be the person you know you're capable of being? Well, that's why for this new year, we've made a Daily Stoic New Year, New You Challenge that's going to help you do just that. It's 21 custom challenges delivered each morning. There's a video from me. There's a printable 21-day calendar. There's a group Slack channel. It's going to be awesome. I'm doing the challenge alongside everyone this year. We can do it together. We can talk together. We can make ourselves be better. You can check it out at dailystoic.com/challenge.