9 Stoic Rules For A Better Life (From Marcus Aurelius)

Marcus Aurelius knew that he couldn’t control all that happened to him, but he could control how he responded. These 9 rules that Ryan Holiday has taken from the Roman Emperor can help you take control of your happiness and live your best life. Watch the video: https://youtu.be/heh5XLwZVOYRight now, when you purchase a 3-month Babbel subscription, you’ll get an additional 3 months for FREE. That’s 6 months, for the price of 3! Just go to Babbel.com and use promo code DAILYSTOIC. Sign up for the Daily Stoic email: https://dailystoic.com/dailyemailCheck out the Daily Stoic Store for Stoic inspired products, signed books, and more. Follow us: Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok, FacebookSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. 📢 Share | ⚙️ Manage Subscription

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:06Ryan Holiday?

  Welcome to the Weekend Edition of The Daily Stoic. Each weekday, we bring you a meditation inspired by the ancient Stoics, something to help you live up to those four Stoic virtues of courage, justice, temperance, and wisdom. And then here on the weekend, we take a deeper dive into those same topics. We interview Stoic philosophers. We explore at length how these Stoic ideas can be applied to our actual lives and the challenging issues of our time. Here on the weekend, when you have a little bit more space, when things have slowed down, be sure to take some time to think, to go for a walk, to sit with your journal,

• 0:49Ryan Holiday?

  and most importantly, to prepare for what the week ahead may bring.

• 0:56Ryan Holiday?

  Marcus Aurelius was the most powerful man in the world, but he knew that even so, the vast majority of things were outside of his control. He couldn't control what other people did. He couldn't control what other people said. Certainly, even though some emperors tried, couldn't control what other people said about him. But even within these constraints, he tried to be the best person he was capable of being. You know, he's born in the year 121. He comes to power in the year 161 AD. He rules for nearly two decades through all sorts of difficulty, things that we're unfortunately familiar with today: political unrest, floods, issues at the border,

• 1:41Ryan Holiday?

  a plague, even the Antonine Plague. And so I find him just an endlessly fascinating model for life. And so in today's episode, I want to give you some rules for life from Marcus Aurelius, practices, strategies, things I've taken from meditations, things I've taken from the biographical information we have about Marcus, things we can guess about Marcus, but real practices, rules, standards, ways of thinking that we can apply to our actual life. I just, you know, again, you think about the power this guy had. And I love this line from Matthew Arnold.

• 2:24Ryan Holiday?

  He says, despite getting all of that, Marcus proves himself worthy of it. So how do we do that? I think these rules are a recipe for at least getting close. And certainly they'll make us better, stronger, more honorable, kinder, more patient, all the things, more virtuous, all the things Marcus strove to be and do. And so here are nine Stoic rules for a better life from the one and only Marcus Aurelius.

• 2:56Ryan Holiday?

  My favorite story about Marcus Aurelius comes at the depths of the Antonine Plague, which is a horrible pandemic that kills millions of people. Rome's economy has been devastated. People are dying in the streets and everyone feels like it can't possibly get better. And what does Marcus Aurelius do? He walks through the Imperial Palace and begins to mark things for sale. For two months, he sells on the lawn of the great emperor's palace, the jewels and robes and couches, the finery owned by the emperor. He's sending a message. He says, I'm not going to put myself first. I don't need these fancy things, not when people are struggling. He says, I'm going to do the little things that make a difference. To me, this is like the CEO who takes a pay cut in a bad economy. This is the athlete who renegotiates their contract so the team can bring on new people.

• 3:41Ryan Holiday?

  This is the leader who sacrifices and struggles, who puts the people first, not their own comfort and needs. That's what greatness is like, and that's why I love this story from Marcus Aurelius.

• 3:55Ryan Holiday?

  You're not stuck. I know you think you are, but what the Stoics wanted you to know is that yes, one path might be closed, but another remains open, right? The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way. Marcus Aurelius isn't saying that nothing can ever stop you. He's saying that when you're stopped in one capacity, there remains other capacities open to you. You always have the opportunity to practice virtue, practice excellence, to change in some form or another based on what's happened. We don't control what happened. We control how we respond. That's what Stoic philosophy is about. So yes, one path can be closed, a door can be shut, but the window remains open. You know, someone gets in your way, someone blocks you, someone prevents you. Sure, that happens, but they can't stop you from being patient.

• 4:39Ryan Holiday?

  They can't stop you from practicing forgiveness. They can't stop you from going in a different direction, from changing your mind, trying something new, growing because of this, learning because of it. The Stoics say no one prevents us from accommodating, adapting, changing, integrating the experiences, the obstacles that are in our path, and turning them into new paths. That's what the obstacle is, the way is. It's impossible to get stuck because we always retain our ability to choose and change. We know what it is we need to do, right? We have the information. The problem is doing it. Marcus really says, "You could be good today. Instead, you choose tomorrow." We put it off. We say, "I'm gonna get started on the diet.

• 5:24Ryan Holiday?

  I'm gonna get started on the novel. I'm gonna get started cleaning the house. I'm not gonna do it today. I'm gonna do it tomorrow." If it was about information, no one would be overweight, no one would be unhealthy. Everyone would have six-pack abs. Every project would get completed. We know how to do it. The problem is that we don't do it. We don't take the steps. That's why the Stoics had the discipline of action. At the end of the day, it's all about the action. It's not what you say, it's not what you think, it's what you do. What action are you gonna take? What step are you gonna take? And really, that's how you finish stuff, step by step. Just take the first step, Marcus really says. No one can stop you from that.

• 6:07Ryan Holiday?

  It takes an immense amount of self-awareness to go like, "I'm feeling discomforted because of X," or "I'm feeling anxious because of X." You know, I think that was something for me that I found during the pandemic, where suddenly I wasn't doing anything. So I wasn't having to get to this plane. I wasn't stuck in traffic here. I wasn't having to prepare for this or that. And so you'd think that my anxiety would go way down, that suddenly you'd have a lot less to worry about. And then, actually, that's not true. And then you realize, oh, the anxiety has nothing to do with any of the things. Actually, Marcus Aurelius talks about this in Meditations. He says, "I escaped anxiety." And then he goes, "No, actually, I discarded it." And he writes this during a plague, no less.

• 6:51Ryan Holiday?

  But he goes, "I discarded it because it was within me." That was a breakthrough I sort of had. It was like, oh, I thought I was stressed and anxious and worried because of all of these very reasonable things that caused those things in your life, work, family stuff. And then, when all that gets pared down, you realize it's like, oh, no, it was me.

• 7:16Ryan Holiday?

  Marcus Aurelius has a better morning routine than you, I promise. So he gets up early, even though he doesn't want to get up early, even though he doesn't have to get up early, he makes himself get up early. He says, "What were you made to sit here under the covers and keep warm? Were you meant to go do the work of a human being?" So he gets up early, and he goes and he does his work. And what is the first thing he do? I think that he sits down with his journal. Meditation survives to us because it's the private thoughts of the most powerful man in the world. He wrote down these thoughts because they made him better. And then what did he do? He got to work on his most important task of the day. He says, "Concentrate like a Roman." He says, "Do this as if it's the last thing you're doing in your life." That's what Marcus Aurelius did. His morning routine set him up for success. He didn't approach the day at random.

• 8:00Ryan Holiday?

  He knew that well begun is half done, and so should you. Start your day with a morning routine that lets you own the day from the beginning.

• 8:12Ryan Holiday?

  It's called self-discipline. Nobody else signed up for it. You signed up for it. So your learning and your study and your self-improvement, you have to be sure that you're applying this only to yourself. Marcus Aurelius says, "Tolerant with others, strict with yourself." The purpose of all this is to make you a better master of yourself. It's not to make you condescending or patronizing or controlling of other people. It's called self-discipline for a reason. It's your discipline over yourself. You leave everyone else and their mistakes and their way of doing things to them.

• 8:55Ryan Holiday?

  Marcus Aurelius didn't like people. I mean, you can't read Meditations and not see this. He opens Meditations with a meditation on how frustrating and obnoxious other people are. And even this idea, this idea of the obstacle is the way. That quote is him talking about other people, about how people get in our way, how people present obstacles. But he says that in that obstacle, there's an opportunity to actually practice this philosophy that you say you believe, to be good in spite of other people, to be just in the face of injustice, to be temperate in the face of intemperance that's being rewarded, to be courageous when everyone else is being cowardly and being rewarded for it.

• 9:38Ryan Holiday?

  So for the Stoics, people are frustrating, people are an obstacle. But like all obstacles, they're also the way. It's a challenge we can rise to meet, we can be better for wrestling with other people's difficulties. So don't resent people, use them to become better.

• 9:55Ryan Holiday?

  You're busy, I'm busy, but how much of what we're busy with actually matters? Marcus Aurelius says, "Ask yourself with everything you do and say, is this essential?" Because most of what we do and say is not essential. And he's so right. Most of what we do is because people asked us to do it, or people told us to do it, or that's how we've always done it. Do we actually need to do it? If we found out we were dying tomorrow, would we keep doing it? Would we do it the way we're doing it? Absolutely not. So he says, "When you ask yourself, is this essential?", you eliminate so much of what you don't need to be doing. And then he says, "You get the double benefit of now doing fewer things better." That's why you ask yourself this question. Is this essential? Do I actually need to be doing it?

• 10:39Ryan Holiday?

  Am I doing it the way that it needs to be done? And you ask this of everything you do and say and think.

• 10:48Ryan Holiday?

  Number one, amor fati. It didn't happen to you, it happened for you. Fate chose this for you. Accept it, embrace it, bear it, make something of it. That's the idea of amor fati. Marcus really says, "A fire turns everything into fuel and brightness." That's amor fati. Number two, it's about what you do for other people. Marcus really says, "The fruit of this life is good character and acts for the common good." Right? The Stoics weren't trying to study this philosophy to be better sociopaths, to be able to make more money for their own sake, to be more famous. It was about what they do for other people. Do you contribute to your community, to your country? Are you moving the ball forward for humanity? Number three, this puts the other two in perspective. Memento mori.

• 11:32Ryan Holiday?

  You could leave life right now, as Marcus really says, "Let that determine what you do and say and think." Life is short. Do everything as if it was the thought or action of a dying person, Marcus says. Life is fragile. The pandemic has reminded us of this. Live while you can, seize the day. Those are three great lessons from Stoic philosophy you're going to apply right now.

• 11:57Ryan Holiday?

  Thanks so much for listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast. If you don't know this, you can get these delivered to you via email every day. Check it out at dailystoic.com/email.