You Are So President Taft

Conan talks to healer and soccer player Héloïse from Manila about throwing events for the local trans and autistic communities and to get advice on using slang to blend in. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:04Conan O'Brien?

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• 0:09Speaker 01

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• 0:10Conan O'Brien?

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• 0:19Conan O'Brien?

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• 0:42Conan O'Brien?

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• 0:51Speaker 02

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• 1:25Speaker 03

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.

• 1:35Conan O'Brien?

  Hi, Eloise, and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.

• 1:38Speaker 04

  Hello, hey, guys.

• 1:39Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, Eloise, how are you?

• 1:40Speaker 04

  I'm doing okay. Yeah, pretty good.

• 1:43Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. Well, you're talking to myself, Matt, Sona, the gang.

• 1:49Speaker 05

  Hi.

• 1:49Conan O'Brien?

  And tell me, I don't know much. Tell me, where are you right now? Who are you? Tell us the whole story.

• 1:56Speaker 04

  Sure. My name is Eloise, her pronouns are she/her. I'm calling from Manila into Philippines. I am kind of like a healer in my community. So I'm a relationship and life coach. And I'm also my country's first openly trained soccer player.

• 2:13Conan O'Brien?

  Wow. That's fantastic. And you say you're a healer as well? So you can help people? Maybe you could help me?

• 2:22Speaker 01

  Please.

• 2:23Speaker 05

  I don't know, that's a tall order.

• 2:25Conan O'Brien?

  Because Eloise, people here think I need a lot of help.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  A lot of help.

• 2:29Speaker 04

  Okay, who do you need help with?

• 2:31Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I was hoping you would know.

• 2:35Speaker 04

  I have some guesses.

• 2:40Conan O'Brien?

  Well, uh, you live in Manila and tell me, uh, just a little bit about your life. What do you like to do? How do you have fun?

• 2:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, so I work most of the time. Um, me and my fiance, we like to throw events for our local, um, trans and autistic community. We throw little parties. We're doing an autistic friendly drag event. Um, and what do I do? I play a lot of soccer and I've been eating a lot of pizza lately.

• 3:14Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, this is, pizza is the great unifier. Yeah. Of everything you just said. So you, uh, are very active in the trans community. You have lots of get togethers. What kinds of things, uh, wha- what kind of things do you like to do with your friends who are, who are trans? What, like what kind of, you know, do you have? Do you have parties? Do you have, what do you do?

• 3:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, we do like to have parties. We like to watch a lot of movies together and kind of just bond and connect over being weird.

• 3:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I, uh, I would like to join you because I am told I'm weird, you know? Part of my life story.

• 3:56Speaker 04

  I think you would be a good addition to the LGBT community. I'm not a, um, certified representative, but I think, um, we could use a little bit of Conan because I think I'm the only one in my community that listens to Conan.

• 4:13Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, well, all right, well, then there's work to be done.

• 4:18Speaker 04

  That's why I'm here, I think.

• 4:20Conan O'Brien?

  Leave them alone. My mission has always been to expand my presence in the LGBTQ community in the Philippines. Very specifically. Yeah, I said that in 1963, the year I was born.

• 4:35Speaker 04

  I remember.

• 4:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you remember. Yeah, wow, you have a time machine, apparently. Yeah. Um, well, would I, would I, would I get along? Would I fit in with everybody? I'm a pretty friendly person. I, would they accept me? I guess that's the big question. Would your friends accept me?

• 4:50Speaker 04

  Uh, well.

• 4:54Conan O'Brien?

  So this isn't going well, Eloise. Eloise, I'm not getting good signals, Eloise.

• 5:00Speaker 04

  Well, I think there's a lot. I think there's a lot of work to be done, and I'm not just talking about like therapy, but I think in terms of like the queer community. Like, I will be playing your podcast when I'm doing my makeup in the morning, and my fiance, who's also here, will be listening. You'll be like, what are they talking about?

• 5:22Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I see, so.

• 5:24Speaker 04

  What is? Yeah, there's like references.

• 5:27Conan O'Brien?

  Your friends are picking up when I'm laying down, is what you're saying?

• 5:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, I think like the James Bond references aren't going.

• 5:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, Conan, those are not my fault.

• 5:37Speaker 01

  Specifically, the James Bond references.

• 5:39Conan O'Brien?

  That's Matt, that's Matt who has the obscure references.

• 5:43Speaker 05

  Hold on, last time that came up in detail, you brought it up.

• 5:46Speaker 04

  Who brings up Calvin Coolidge? Because I don't think that.

• 5:49Speaker 05

  Thank you.

• 5:49Conan O'Brien?

  I always thought that Calvin Coolidge was huge in the trans community in the Philippines.

• 5:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:55Conan O'Brien?

  That was my understanding. Not so much President Taft, I get it. But, but Coolidge, yeah.

• 6:02Speaker 04

  Lyndon Johnson, I think, is, if you, if you reference Johnson more, it would, might be a little bit better.

• 6:08Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I'll, I'll double down on Johnson, okay?

• 6:13Conan O'Brien?

  Well, okay, so, um, you, you say that, uh, let's say I came to Manila, and let's say that you and I were to meet, and you were going to take me out for a night with, uh, your friends in the trans community, what would we be doing?

• 6:30Speaker 04

  Okay, I was thinking about this, and the first thing we would go to is, there's this event called Girl Nation. It's a lesbian event, and it's mostly all lesbian women and some trans men, and then like one or two chill guys, so you have to pass that test of being chill and also an ally. Once you do that, yeah, I think that's why I'm here to help, is maybe I can teach you some slang or some things that will help you blend in and not stand out.

• 6:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I want to blend in very much, I want to be considered a chill guy when I go out on the town with you and your friends in the trans community, so tell me, what are the things I should know?

• 7:10Speaker 04

  Things, I think through some using gay lingo like offhandedly, being very used to it. You don't have to use it all the time, but if you use it like once a day in a podcast, then yeah, you'll be fine.

• 7:23Conan O'Brien?

  Give me an example.

• 7:24Speaker 04

  So I think you could say it's giving dot, dot, dot, and then you make a reference at the end of that.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 7:32Speaker 04

  And you can use that to like, when you're like giving someone a compliment, or if you want to be passive aggressive, you can use it to give someone an insult, but you use a very specific and obscure reference at the end of it. So you can say like, oh, it's giving like season one Love is Blind, episode two. And someone would just go, oh my god.

• 7:50Conan O'Brien?

  Could I do like, it's giving uh, view to a kill, scarping.

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Of course, oh, to James Bond. It all goes back to James Bond.

• 7:58Conan O'Brien?

  I see what you're saying, though. It probably has to be a reality TV show, right? Uh, that's better.

• 8:03Speaker 04

  It could be a reality, but I think.

• 8:05Conan O'Brien?

  Like now, Eloise, you're totally giving me, you know, season six Love Island, episode three, uh, cheetah. I just made all that all up.

• 8:17Speaker 01

  Cheetah?

• 8:18Conan O'Brien?

  Cheetah.

• 8:19Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 8:20Conan O'Brien?

  Does that work?

• 8:22Speaker 04

  I think the delivery has to maybe improve.

• 8:25Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? Yeah, cuz I was too deliberate about it.

• 8:28Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 8:28Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta just toss it off.

• 8:29Speaker 04

  You don't have to be like analyzing. You can just be like throwing it away. Like, oh yeah, you're totally, you can even reference like, you know, presidential terms. As long as you're specific and you're like throwing it away in a gay way, it's like.

• 8:41Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, you are just right now, you know what? I don't need this from you. You are so president taft in selling the OC.

• 8:47Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 8:47Conan O'Brien?

  I don't need this right now. Do you know what I mean?

• 8:50Speaker 04

  And I would be like, oh my gosh, slay, okay.

• 8:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 8:53Speaker 04

  I don't know what that means.

• 8:54Conan O'Brien?

  And then I say slay right back to you. Slay.

• 8:57Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 8:58Conan O'Brien?

  See, I think already I'm doing pretty well.

• 9:00Speaker 04

  You're, you're, no one would know. You're basically a woman right now.

• 9:06Conan O'Brien?

  There's, I've, I've heard that before.

• 9:12Conan O'Brien?

  Eloise, this is a big help. You're helping me. This is good. I think you are here. I think I have to learn more about reality shows.

• 9:19Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 9:20Conan O'Brien?

  What are the popular reality shows so I can just toss them off?

• 9:23Speaker 04

  Oh, Love is Blind.

• 9:25Conan O'Brien?

  Love is Blind.

• 9:27Speaker 04

  Sona maybe knows more.

• 9:28Speaker 01

  I would say the entire Real Housewives franchise. I mean, if you, if you know.

• 9:33Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, if you can reference that.

• 9:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 9:35Conan O'Brien?

  But is there a city that, because is there a Real Housewives?

• 9:40Speaker 01

  I mean, you know.

• 9:41Conan O'Brien?

  Cincinnati? Or Salt Lake City?

• 9:43Speaker 01

  There's Salt Lake City, there's Atlanta, there's Orange County was the original.

• 9:48Conan O'Brien?

  I call, I'm gonna go with Atlanta and I'm gonna call it Hotlanta.

• 9:51Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 9:52Conan O'Brien?

  I'm not gonna do that.

• 9:55Speaker 01

  Not good.

• 9:55Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 9:56Speaker 01

  That's not good.

• 9:56Conan O'Brien?

  All right.

• 9:57Speaker 01

  But yeah, you know, the, what else? I mean, I, I think, when I think of, you know, popular shows, I think of Real Housewives, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head.

• 10:06Conan O'Brien?

  Eloise, you're totally giving me.

• 10:11Speaker 05

  It's going well. It's going well, buddy. Keep it up. You got it.

• 10:14Speaker 01

  Don't make these flashcards. Like Teresa from New Jersey. She's a classic.

• 10:19Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah. A little, a little Teresa. Season four, Real Housewives of New Jersey. Much, Eloise? Does that work?

• 10:28Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 10:28Conan O'Brien?

  Slay?

• 10:29Speaker 04

  It sounds a little like an insult, but I'll take it.

• 10:32Speaker 01

  Vanderpump Rules?

• 10:34Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah. Vanderpump Rules.

• 10:35Speaker 01

  Yeah. Do, do you know, you're, you're very van, I don't know a lot of the characters.

• 10:39Speaker 05

  Scandival.

• 10:40Speaker 01

  Scandival.

• 10:41Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, that's too obvious. You gotta pick up someone obscure.

• 10:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 10:45Conan O'Brien?

  Svensson. What? He's the accountant on the show.

• 10:58Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 11:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 11:00Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen. You know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 11:15Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 11:15Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 11:24Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 11:28Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love.

• 11:32Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 11:33Conan O'Brien?

  Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 11:47Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 11:48Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 12:23Conan O'Brien?

  Your name represents everything you've built, okay? Everything. Like, I feel that way about my name.

• 12:27Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:28Conan O'Brien?

  It stands for all of the work, good and not so good. But guess what? Your children's names represent their whole futures.

• 12:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:37Conan O'Brien?

  Your children haven't even started building their futures, but their identities are already valuable. Your child's clean credit history can make them a target for identity thieves. Never thought of it that way, but it's true. Identity thieves can open loans and credit cards using your child's social security number, racking up debt and ruining their credit, and you may not notice until they try and get their first credit card. So it could be a long time.

• 12:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:59Conan O'Brien?

  Well, guess what? With LifeLock, you can add family members to your plan, giving you the power to block identity threats targeting your children. Now, Sony, your kids are pretty young still.

• 13:08Speaker 01

  They are.

• 13:08Conan O'Brien?

  Five, but within a couple of years, you know, they're gonna be buying heavy machinery online.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  What?

• 13:14Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna be, become tractor fanatics. They're gonna be buying tractors online. So if you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. So join now, save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 13:39Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, I want to try something different.

• 13:40Speaker 01

  What?

• 13:41Conan O'Brien?

  I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm gonna try and make apple cider.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  Ooh!

• 13:45Conan O'Brien?

  Every morning.

• 13:46Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:46Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, just to see if I can do it.

• 13:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, fall's the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.

• 13:52Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good.

• 13:53Conan O'Brien?

  See what I did?

• 13:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:54Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You want to hear what they are?

• 13:58Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:58Conan O'Brien?

  They're America's best network.

• 14:00Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 14:00Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.

• 14:07Speaker 01

  Oh, that's weird.

• 14:08Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider, and that's when it comes in handy. Here's another reason: high-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the

• 14:17Speaker 01

  You travel a lot.

• 14:18Conan O'Brien?

  Travel show that I do.

• 14:19Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:19Conan O'Brien?

  Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 14:29Speaker 01

  That doesn't seem like a good idea.

• 14:31Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 14:32Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 14:32Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you can see art anytime, but how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 14:37Speaker 01

  Oh, my god!

• 14:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. No, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 14:42Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 14:43Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to T-Mobile.com and find yours best, based on analysis by UCLA of speed test intelligence data, first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US, where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit T-Mobile.com. Consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 15:07Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 15:12Conan O'Brien?

  We all have those pieces in our closet we can count on. Sona, I imagine for you it's that leather jacket I got you.

• 15:17Speaker 01

  Are you gonna do a bit?

• 15:18Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, it's a really nice leather jacket I got you once.

• 15:20Speaker 01

  I had that and then I replaced it, and yes, I use it all the time.

• 15:23Conan O'Brien?

  We all have that versatile jacket, the perfect t-shirt, and those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy. And you know what I was thinking about this morning?

• 15:32Speaker 01

  What?

• 15:33Conan O'Brien?

  Quince. They do it best. They really do. I was really thinking about this.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  What a coincidence that we're doing an ad for them.

• 15:38Conan O'Brien?

  No, a co- coincidence.

• 15:40Speaker 01

  Oh, no!

• 15:43Conan O'Brien?

  That's why I get the big money.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  I gotta go.

• 15:45Conan O'Brien?

  Cut to a very small amount of money. Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials and designs that are timeless, thoughtful, crafted, and made to be worn again and again. And when the temperature starts to drop, Quince makes it easy to build on those everyday staples with versatile layers. Layer up. That's the key. Now, Blay, you're using some Quince.

• 16:04Speaker 06

  That's right. I'm spending a lot of time back east in Michigan. It's getting a little colder, so I got a featherless quilted jacket, an Atlas Navy, and I just feel like a different guy. I feel classy.

• 16:15Conan O'Brien?

  You look like a different guy, because you're well-dressed.

• 16:17Speaker 06

  That's right.

• 16:18Conan O'Brien?

  No, I'm serious. He looks like a hobo half the time.

• 16:20Speaker 06

  That's true. He's right. That's true.

• 16:21Conan O'Brien?

  No, they really do great stuff. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK as well. All right. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Please do that. Say, "By the way, I heard about this on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend."

• 16:45Speaker 06

  Oh, I didn't really ask.

• 16:46Conan O'Brien?

  I just want you to know.

• 16:47Speaker 06

  It's the best way to support the show.

• 16:57Conan O'Brien?

  I'm gonna do the best I can, though, to learn more about reality TV. I'm gonna say slay a lot. What else would we do?

• 17:04Speaker 04

  Giving. Oh, you can join a women's soccer training. I coached when I was younger. Yeah, you could become an elite athlete, and I can help you.

• 17:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I got news for you.

• 17:17Speaker 04

  I think you'd make a really good.

• 17:18Conan O'Brien?

  I got news for you. I think I have a much better chance in the trans community. I really do. I think I have a better chance than becoming an elite athlete. I just, I don't know. I just.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  You don't think you have it in you? You have the dog in you?

• 17:34Conan O'Brien?

  I'm an old, old fellow. And the other day, I got out of bed quickly, and my left leg fell off.

• 17:43Conan O'Brien?

  And I used electrical tape to put it back on. And so that's what I'm concerned about is pieces of my body coming off in the Philippines, you know?

• 17:52Speaker 05

  You're so Kyle versus Kim Richards in season one of Desperate Housewives.

• 17:58Speaker 04

  Exactly. That's so true.

• 18:00Conan O'Brien?

  Thank you.

• 18:01Speaker 04

  You're really giving that Kyle from whatever math fact.

• 18:05Speaker 05

  The reason I know this is because Kyle Richards, who's one of the housewives, played Lindsay as the young girl in Halloween.

• 18:13Conan O'Brien?

  There you go.

• 18:13Speaker 05

  That's why I know that.

• 18:14Conan O'Brien?

  See?

• 18:14Speaker 04

  What?

• 18:14Conan O'Brien?

  It doesn't matter where you get the knowledge, as long as you have the knowledge.

• 18:17Speaker 05

  I just shouldn't reveal that, right?

• 18:19Conan O'Brien?

  Right now, you're being so Winston Bufferman on American Roadshow with his collection of pneumatic tubes that he sold.

• 18:30Speaker 05

  You are such a Jamie Heidemann from Mythbusters right now.

• 18:34Conan O'Brien?

  Jesus.

• 18:35Speaker 04

  My god.

• 18:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 18:37Speaker 04

  You guys are slaying each other.

• 18:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, she's incredible, right?

• 18:40Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 18:41Conan O'Brien?

  You are such a Walt Kellerman from American Pickers, season four.

• 18:44Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 18:44Speaker 05

  Spoken like a Darwin Hamelsmith from the TV sci-fi makeup show Face Off.

• 18:49Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah. You guys are like a couple detectives on the first forty-eight.

• 18:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, what?

• 18:58Speaker 05

  That's a docu-series, not a reality show.

• 19:00Speaker 01

  What is the difference? They're reality. There's a different kind of reality.

• 19:04Speaker 05

  No.

• 19:04Speaker 01

  Okay, all right, all right. Why can't we do docu-series?

• 19:08Speaker 05

  Oh, you can't slay with docu-series.

• 19:10Speaker 01

  You can't slay with a docu-series?

• 19:13Conan O'Brien?

  Eloise, can you slay with docu-series?

• 19:16Speaker 04

  Um, I'm gonna have to call RuPaul and ask, but I think.

• 19:20Conan O'Brien?

  RuPaul with definite no.

• 19:21Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 19:22Conan O'Brien?

  Hold on, I got RuPaul on the line now. What's that? Oh, quick no.

• 19:25Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 19:25Conan O'Brien?

  Invisible phone, everybody, and I hang that up.

• 19:27Speaker 01

  She wouldn't take your phone call.

• 19:28Speaker 04

  I'm sorry, Sona.

• 19:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 19:30Speaker 04

  I don't, I don't know any of the references you just made.

• 19:35Speaker 04

  I think I'm becoming straight.

• 19:45Speaker 04

  No, I, I think I'm in trouble, because if I bring Conan and you guys make these references.

• 19:50Conan O'Brien?

  I know.

• 19:51Speaker 04

  Me as a healer, and they'd be like.

• 19:53Conan O'Brien?

  Eloise, after what you've heard today, do you want me to come visit you? And you're allowed to say no, you've changed your mind.

• 20:05Speaker 01

  That's such a long pause.

• 20:06Conan O'Brien?

  That's a long pause, Eloise.

• 20:08Speaker 01

  She's a fan of yours.

• 20:09Conan O'Brien?

  You just answered my question.

• 20:11Speaker 04

  I am a big fan, but I am also, you know, I have a reputation to uphold as one of the heroes in my day to day. And I don't mean that in a rude way. Maybe I can do your makeup and we will style you.

• 20:26Speaker 01

  The American Pickers reference.

• 20:28Conan O'Brien?

  I think that's what did it.

• 20:30Speaker 04

  I think that might scare people.

• 20:32Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I probably, yeah. Well, I admire your honesty. I really do. And, uh...

• 20:38Speaker 04

  I try.

• 20:39Conan O'Brien?

  I appreciate that. Can I ask you a question? You've mentioned autism also during this interview. Uh, do you, are, are you autistic?

• 20:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, I am autistic.

• 20:51Conan O'Brien?

  When did you find that out?

• 20:53Speaker 04

  When I met my partner, who is autistic, and I realized, oh, we are the same. I have what you have. But for my, most of my life, I didn't know that I had that. So, yeah. And I think like with autistic people, Conan is, can be a big hit or sometimes a miss because we have maybe issues of taking people very literally.

• 21:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 21:18Speaker 04

  And so, for example, my whole family, we love watching Conan. And we've been watching it since I was 18. And we'd be around the TV with my mom, my sister and my brother. And we'd be all enjoying it. And like one day, my dad came in the room to kind of see what's going on. And my dad kind of takes the people very literally. I don't think he has a good, you know, understanding of that context. And we watched the whole episode of your show and we all loved it. And I look at my dad to see what does he think? And he just goes, "He's rude. He's really rude."

• 21:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I can see that.

• 21:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, what if he sees the real me? What if, you know, what if he's right?

• 22:07Speaker 04

  I think.

• 22:08Conan O'Brien?

  I can see, yeah, it's different, you know, it's, it's not, I'm not for everyone. And that's always the way it's been, you know?

• 22:15Speaker 01

  Who are you? You would be like, I'm on the next flight out to the Philippines to meet your dad and make him love me.

• 22:20Conan O'Brien?

  I'm gonna win him over. I was pretending to be okay with your dad not liking me. But this is on.

• 22:30Conan O'Brien?

  I'm obsessed now. What would I do? Well.

• 22:34Speaker 04

  Yeah, if he thinks you're rude, how would you, what kind of comedy would you go?

• 22:37Conan O'Brien?

  Well, first of all, I'd be very respectful and kind to him. So respectful and kind that he would see that I'm not rude. Then, um, I.

• 22:46Speaker 04

  He's so hilarious.

• 22:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and then, uh, I would probably bring him some gifts and, um.

• 22:53Speaker 05

  What would you bring him?

• 22:54Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, um, well, what is your, what is your dad like?

• 22:57Speaker 04

  Um, pork.

• 23:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. That'll fly well.

• 23:04Conan O'Brien?

  Goes right in the overhead compartment. So I would wrap some pork in newspaper. Just a full pig. Put it in the overhead compartment.

• 23:13Conan O'Brien?

  And fly, I think it's probably a pretty quick flight from LA to Manila. And then get in a cab in the hot sun and take this rotten, fetid pork to your father and say, "Hey, you're the guy that thought I was rude. Have this rotting pork." And then I think we'd be best buddies, don't you think?

• 23:33Speaker 04

  I think he would think you were courting him. But yeah, you know, give it a try.

• 23:38Conan O'Brien?

  You are so season three American botulism.

• 23:43Conan O'Brien?

  So.

• 23:44Speaker 05

  I can't believe that got three seasons.

• 23:49Conan O'Brien?

  I almost didn't finish one.

• 23:51Speaker 04

  If you can win my father's approval, then you can do something I haven't, so that'd be really cool.

• 23:59Speaker 04

  Maybe we can work together.

• 24:01Conan O'Brien?

  I have my ways. I tend to win people over. Sony, you've seen me in action.

• 24:04Speaker 01

  I have, I have. Yeah, even, even the biggest naysayers, you get them on your side.

• 24:09Conan O'Brien?

  I don't think there are that many, but yeah.

• 24:10Speaker 01

  Yeah, I've seen it happen. So, big naysayers.

• 24:13Conan O'Brien?

  Not so, not so big. Just people that had slight hesitation and they overcame it.

• 24:17Speaker 01

  Quite a few people.

• 24:18Conan O'Brien?

  Not a lot.

• 24:19Speaker 01

  Lot, lot of people.

• 24:20Conan O'Brien?

  Not big naysayers.

• 24:23Conan O'Brien?

  Eloise, are there any events that we would go to together? Are there any events in the trans community that I could participate in?

• 24:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, we are doing some event for trans women and trans men. We're doing one for men, where we talk about healthy masculinity. What does it take to be a good man? And we also give people, or hope we're planning this, hoping to give people haircuts while we're talking about that in a barber shop. And then we have one for trans men, where we talk about what it means to be a good woman, in a more progressive way.

• 24:53Conan O'Brien?

  Cool.

• 24:54Speaker 04

  Healthy. Are you, are you interested in either of those?

• 24:58Conan O'Brien?

  Sure. I was just hoping at one point, there's alcohol involved. You know, going to a, a club or something. But I, yes, I like those. I think what you're doing sounds very cool and very healthy. But at some point, I wanna, I wanna hit the dance floor. Do you understand? You've got to see my moves to believe them, Eloise. You've got to see them.

• 25:16Speaker 04

  Why does this sound like a threat?

• 25:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes. That's not necessarily a brag. Unless my demands are met, Eloise. Unless there's a suitcase full of cash in this podcast office tomorrow, you will see me dance.

• 25:32Speaker 04

  Oh my gosh.

• 25:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. You have 24 hours. The clock is ticking. Well, Eloise, it was

• 25:38Speaker 04

  I think it's a good way.

• 25:38Conan O'Brien?

  Eloise, it was very nice talking to you, and you are very funny. You seem very funny and very cool. And I do believe you're a healer, because I've had fun talking to you. And you have healed me. So what do you think of that?

• 25:52Speaker 04

  That's great.

• 25:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 25:53Speaker 04

  I think that'll be $250.

• 25:59Conan O'Brien?

  All right. I'll get it to you. Thank you, Eloise. Nice talking to you.

• 26:03Speaker 04

  Bye.

• 26:03Conan O'Brien?

  Bye-bye.

• 26:04Speaker 04

  Bye. Bye. Thanks, guys.

• 26:07Speaker 05

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 26:24Speaker 05

  Supervising producer Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples. Associate producers Sean Dougherty and Lisa Bern. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are down.

• 26:52Speaker 05

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