The Cock of the Rock

Conan talks to Aadithya (Aadu) about working as a research engineer at the University of Washington School of Oceanography, his upcoming wedding, and the birds he associates with Conan, Matt, and Sona. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 0:06Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 0:07Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Or Oki.

• 0:08Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta get them your stuff.

• 0:08Speaker 01

  Or my dog.

• 0:09Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:19Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:24Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 0:55Conan O'Brien?

  The holidays are supposed to be about making memories, not managing the mess that comes with them. Between winter weather, road trips, shopping, and family gatherings, your vehicle can take a beating. Mine sure does.

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Same.

• 1:06Conan O'Brien?

  Especially when I'm back in the Northeast, driving around. I mean, I grew up with that.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:10Conan O'Brien?

  Cars were red, the salt on the road, people throwing rocks at me.

• 1:14Speaker 01

  Whaaat?

• 1:15Conan O'Brien?

  That's not a weather thing. That's more of a me being, making people angry problem. WeatherTech helps protect your vehicle from snow, slush, salt, and seasonal messes. They also make the best gifts for automobile protection, from floor liners and cargo liner to side window deflectors, even gift cards. Great for today and to prevent future messes. Everything is built to last, easy to clean, and designed for harsh winter conditions, okay? I grew up with this.

• 1:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:42Conan O'Brien?

  And the salt would eat away the car. We actually did have a Chevy. My dad had a Chevy Impala, and the floor rusted out and you could see the road going by.

• 1:49Speaker 01

  Oh!

• 1:50Conan O'Brien?

  Boy, we were praying for WeatherTech and we didn't even know it. That was before it existed.

• 1:55Speaker 01

  That's cool.

• 1:56Conan O'Brien?

  So get a gift today at weathertech.com.

• 2:02Speaker 02

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit TeamCoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.

• 2:12Conan O'Brien?

  Hi, Adu. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.

• 2:15Speaker 03

  Hi, guys. Really excited to be here. Hello, Adu. How are you? Fantastic. How are you, Conan?

• 2:21Conan O'Brien?

  I'm doing well. I have to compliment you on your voice. You have a terrific...

• 2:26Speaker 03

  And your sweater.

• 2:27Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you know, I'm thinking it's mostly a vocal audio medium, but sure. I see the whole vibe. Yeah, the whole vibe is great. You have an incredible beard. You have a true Irishman's sweater, Adu. And...

• 2:42Speaker 03

  It's actually from Ireland, so...

• 2:43Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I could tell. Yes, that's the one thing I know. It's got... I can tell by the various coded messages in it right now. It says...

• 2:51Speaker 03

  Oh, for sure.

• 2:52Conan O'Brien?

  Says "By Guinness." But, and you've got the amazing beard, but I've got to say that the tone of your voice is very calming. Fantastic.

• 3:01Speaker 03

  I appreciate that. I mean, I brought my mic from home just so that you can hear it, like, the rich fullness of it all.

• 3:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah. We've not found a mic in the universe that will give me a rich fullness. I've put Eduardo on that task.

• 3:14Speaker 03

  I'm still searching.

• 3:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. It doesn't exist. We're going through the Barry White Estate to see what we can get. Adu, tell me a little bit about yourself. What do you do? What are you all about? Where are you coming from?

• 3:30Speaker 03

  Wow, that's a huge question.

• 3:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, it is.

• 3:32Speaker 03

  Right now, I am a research engineer for the School of Oceanography at the University of Washington. So, I live in Seattle.

• 3:40Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, wow. Cool.

• 3:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very cool job. I do R&D for the Argo Float Program. So, Argo floats are these autonomous drifters that we've put out, you know, in the world's oceans that sample various things, you know, in the ocean: temperature, pressure, salinity, pH, dissolved oxygen, basically kind of giving us a comprehensive look on... How our oceans are doing and how our atmosphere is doing. And it's all climate change related, conservation related. And it's a cool gig.

• 4:17Conan O'Brien?

  Wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you one of those people that believes in science?

• 4:21Speaker 01

  Ah boo.

• 4:24Speaker 03

  Oh, should I go?

• 4:25Conan O'Brien?

  Why don't you take your mumbo jumbo and witchcraft somewhere else?

• 4:31Speaker 01

  Right.

• 4:33Speaker 03

  Let's pack up and go, guys. I'm sorry.

• 4:35Speaker 01

  Three cheers. If I don't understand it, I don't like it.

• 4:39Conan O'Brien?

  Exactly.

• 4:39Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:40Conan O'Brien?

  I don't like science. Now I'm gonna go get in my car and drive around.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 4:44Conan O'Brien?

  Um, that sounds like really good work. I'm hoping you can tell me something optimistic because uh, these are perilous times. It can feel for a lot of us. What do you?

• 4:54Speaker 03

  Oh, you want it optimistic?

• 4:55Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no. It doesn't have to be optimistic. I just want to get your take, your, it sounds like you're devoting your career uh, and your incredible mind and hard work to trying to figure out. The oceans, I'm guessing, are warming. Um, that is happening?

• 5:10Speaker 03

  Yes, they are.

• 5:11Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  Yes, uh, and they are getting hotter and hotter. They're just taking in all the heat that we're producing.

• 5:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 5:19Speaker 03

  Um, and part of this program is to study how the heat content of the ocean is changing over time. Um, and a large part of that also is how much carbon is taking in. Um, so oceans are very good carbon sinks for all the, you know, carbon that we as humans produce. Uh, and some studies are actually showing that there's some regions that are actually sources of carbon now. So it's not just sinks, but there's a flux between the ocean and the atmosphere. Um, I don't know if I have any positive gems for you, uh, Conan, but uh, I think one cool thing. So I'm, I'm very new to oceanography. I, you know, was a conservation based uh, person for 25 years and an engineer.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  And I kind of combined those things and landed in this sector. But um, I think I've just been learning how cool and complex our oceans are and how many different subsystems are, you know, in there and what. What's cool is that oceans are like space to us in that they're just criminally undersampled, right? So we don't know much about the oceans at all because we're gonna, we don't have like an array of sensors in there for like, you know, last 100 years or so. But that's what we're trying to do. We're trying to put as much technology out there and like kind of sample as much as we can.

• 6:44Conan O'Brien?

  It's very cool. Well, it's also as understanding how rising temperatures are going to affect currents, winds, um, you know, we've all noticed that things are getting more severe. Uh, we're noticing that here in Los Angeles, obviously, uh, lately that, and I think across the globe, people are noticing that, that extremes are becoming more extreme. And so, um, and, and it doesn't, climate change doesn't always mean one thing. It, it can, the influences can be very complex. And so we don't really know sometimes what to expect. Sometimes it mean, and, and we're all figuring that out together. So, um, and I think my work in this area is every bit as important. I was gonna say, you're telling him all this stuff.

• 7:29Conan O'Brien?

  I do. Excuse me, I'm not done yet. I believe that by, uh, various, uh, neutron installments throughout, uh,

• 7:38Speaker 01

  What are you installing?

• 7:39Conan O'Brien?

  The oceanographic, uh, plates and plateaus, uh, there might one day be hegemony. Can we just go back to your sweater? Your sweater looks amazing.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  All right.

• 7:49Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 7:50Speaker 01

  Let's just let Audrey talk.

• 7:51Conan O'Brien?

  Um, no, I do appreciate, uh, all foolishness aside, I really do appreciate the work you're doing and, um, I'm, I'm, as someone who has children, I really do want us to figure this out and, uh, and make a better world. So, um, I, uh, I'm glad you're doing this.

• 8:10Speaker 03

  We're doing the best we can, Conan.

• 8:11Conan O'Brien?

  Well, try harder.

• 8:12Speaker 03

  I'm doing the best I can.

• 8:13Conan O'Brien?

  Try hard. You don't look like it. You've just called into a podcast to goof around. This is time that could be saving the world and you're like, I gotta go talk. You're like, I've got to go talk to Conan and goof off. Well, listen, I love Seattle. I'm sort of married into Seattle because my wife is from Seattle and I married there and I go back a lot and I love my in-laws and I love to prowl around Seattle. It's my second home, so.

• 8:41Speaker 03

  Sorry, you said prowl, right?

• 8:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, late at night, wearing mostly black.

• 8:47Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:48Conan O'Brien?

  And there have been some sightings. I wear a black cap. Listen, that's not important. My prowling is my own business. Tell us about yourself. What are your hobbies? What do you like to do when you're not studying your sensors? What do you, and I say that with great respect.

• 9:06Speaker 03

  No, you don't.

• 9:07Conan O'Brien?

  What do you, with great respect, what do you like to do in your spare time? What's your hobby?

• 9:15Speaker 03

  I think, yeah, my two main ones are trail running and bird watching. And what I've found is I hang out with a lot of older folks because that's a very kind of niche subset of activities that I find my communities, honestly. But it gets me outside and, yeah.

• 9:37Conan O'Brien?

  My father was a bird watcher, loved it, and he used to always try and get one of us to go along with him bird watching. And when I was a kid, I'd noticed that no one else was volunteering and I would feel someone's gotta go and so I would go and I would trudge around marshes in the suburbs of Boston or Rhode Island and not enjoying the smell.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  And did you enjoy it?

• 10:02Conan O'Brien?

  I have to say I didn't at the time. The one thing I really did enjoy was there was once a gull that got way off course and kind of made the news called Ross's Gull. And Ross's Gull, I think, usually hangs out in Alaska or Russia and it, this thing, I think, lost its connecting flight, got all turned around and Ross's Gull showed up. Some birder spotted it in Boston and this might be, I'm gonna say this is 1970, this could be 76, 77, something like that. And I went.

• 10:41Conan O'Brien?

  My dad was really excited and he said, "We've got to go." It was like a 40-minute drive and so we, there was a bunch of, I mean, there was 300, 400 birders there. And we found a spot and we, I saw Ross's gull. And I remember thinking, "Wow." I, you know, and then I tried that line on women for years. It never worked.

• 11:04Conan O'Brien?

  Never worked.

• 11:06Speaker 03

  I, um, I almost traveled nine hours round trip to see something called a Baikal teal down in Oregon. It was kind of a similar vagrant, you know?

• 11:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 11:18Speaker 03

  Got kind of lost and found its way over here. Um, but I'm getting married in two weeks and I don't think my future wife would be-

• 11:25Conan O'Brien?

  Wait a minute, I do, you buried the lead. This is a hu- this is a huge event and you're talking about the double-billed quicksel-quaxsel.

• 11:37Speaker 04

  Making fun of his interests.

• 11:38Conan O'Brien?

  I am not. This is, again, with great respect.

• 11:44Conan O'Brien?

  So, so tell me about this. You're getting married in two weeks and?

• 11:48Speaker 03

  And, um, basically there's a lot to do because I'm getting married in India. And, um, my, uh, fiance, soon-to-be-wife, uh, is from Texas and her whole family's from Texas. And not a lot of them have visited Asia or India. And I'm basically coordinating a bunch of stuff, like clothing, visas, uh, flights, uh, choreographed dances, um, because it's a big kind of soiree.

• 12:18Conan O'Brien?

  I've never been to a true, uh, Indian wedding and I've always wanted to go.

• 12:22Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 12:23Speaker 05

  It's true, they take place over more than a day, right?

• 12:26Speaker 03

  It's three or four days, yeah, for ours. Um, and actually in my, uh, when writing to y'all, I actually invited the three of you. Um, so invitation's still open. It's on the 10th of February. And I know you have the Oscars to host.

• 12:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. It's, it's- It'd be really great if I'm, if I blew off the Oscars.

• 12:44Speaker 05

  I'll handle the Oscars. You go to the wagon.

• 12:46Conan O'Brien?

  I love that. Uh, there's been a quick program change. Instead of Conan O'Brien, Matt Gourley's here.

• 12:52Speaker 05

  And Best Picture goes to Goldfinger? How is that possible? Every category.

• 12:57Conan O'Brien?

  James Bond films from the 70s swept tonight.

• 13:09Conan O'Brien?

  Now Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.

• 13:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 13:12Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 13:15Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 13:20Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 13:22Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 13:24Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 13:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 13:27Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.

• 13:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 13:30Speaker 01

  Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 13:32Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 13:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 13:44Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place. You can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 14:10Conan O'Brien?

  Earth can be a lot. There's gravity, there's mosquitoes, and a sun that will gulf us in about 5 billion years, give or take.

• 14:17Speaker 01

  Oh, good.

• 14:17Conan O'Brien?

  It is going to eventually incinerate us, the sun, but we've got 5 billion years.

• 14:21Speaker 01

  Okay, that's fine.

• 14:22Conan O'Brien?

  Cosmically speaking, you're under break, so escape to Pluto TV.

• 14:25Speaker 01

  That's where this was going.

• 14:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yep, I knew the second I saw, the minute I saw the sun exploding and incinerating us, I knew this was going to Pluto TV. Turn off your earthly problems and turn on the movies and shows you already love. From Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy to Dirty Dancing, from Alias to The X-Files, no subscription, no fees, $0. When that sun's pulsating and burning you up, you've got the best thing on TV. And the best things on TV are free. Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.

• 14:57Conan O'Brien?

  Sona, you have to admit, the holidays, it's really about... Hanging with the people you love.

• 15:03Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:03Conan O'Brien?

  And getting to be yourself. Not going to some stuffy holiday party where you need to conform to what the man wants you to think about the holidays.

• 15:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's about being yourself. Turn your holiday time into Miller time by enjoying a Miller Lite in a place where you're free to enjoy yourself on a walk with a cousin. With a cousin? Why are they getting all specific about it?

• 15:24Speaker 01

  Because it's family.

• 15:24Conan O'Brien?

  But what about a niece or a nephew?

• 15:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:28Conan O'Brien?

  Like a walk with an ex-wife? I don't know. I mean, they're just throwing... That's a weird... They just made a very specific choice.

• 15:35Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:35Conan O'Brien?

  Now's the time for those unexpected holiday side guests and enjoy a great tasting light beer. 'Tis Miller time, as Dickens wrote. Miller Lite is brewed for taste, the taste you can depend on. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic more than 50 years later. I like to be with my bros, my chums, my posse, crack open a Miller Lite, take a swig, a sip, look around and see my friends. We've known each other forever and we're just hanging out.

• 16:02Speaker 01

  Yeah, you guys are just doing chest bumps and high-fiving.

• 16:05Conan O'Brien?

  Miller Lite is great taste done right. Go to millerlite.com/conan to find delivery options near you or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. 'Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

• 16:21Speaker 04

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• 16:57Conan O'Brien?

  Where in India is the wedding taking place?

• 16:59Speaker 03

  The southwest side of India and there are a ton of birds there, you know? I, I keep like a life list of, of birds and, uh, you know, I started when I was six years old and my mom and dad really got me into it because we would go visit India all the time and I'd see all these like elephants, tigers and like, you know, all these cool big mammals and we'd watch Animal Planet and then I'd come back to the Bay Area where, you know, I grew up and I'd see, you know, a squirrel or like, you know, like a rabbit and I, and I was really bummed out and my mom was like, here, take some binoculars, go, go look for birds, you know, we'll take you to a park. And I got hooked, right? It was just kind of like, I want to see everything. They're

• 17:43Speaker 03

  all so cool. They all act so differently. Um, and, you know, but then I just kind of like wrote them on a piece of paper and then I would throw the paper, uh, you know, piece of paper away, like all the species I was seeing.

• 17:53Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, so you're a litterer.

• 17:54Speaker 03

  And it wasn't until maybe...

• 17:56Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a litterer, that's right.

• 17:57Speaker 03

  Okay, that's great.

• 17:58Conan O'Brien?

  In the ocean, straight in the ocean.

• 18:01Conan O'Brien?

  Big problem with climate change is we keep finding these birding notes. The fish are eating them and dying. Rare fish. We're looking for someone named Adu. If you know anything about him, he's wearing an Irish sweater that he got from Liam Neeson. Uh, but I'm, uh, well, so, but this is how you got interested in it and so now you're going to go to India and it's a chance to probably see some, some new birds.

• 18:28Speaker 03

  Oh, for sure. Yeah. Like, you know, I lost all those lists from before. So there's, you know, I, I want to say close to a thousand species there.

• 18:35Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 18:36Speaker 03

  Not specifically in that state, but there's just like so many and I'm very excited. Uh, the venue is actually right next to a bird sanctuary, which I don't know if my fiance knows about, but I'm probably going to sneak away and try to bird.

• 18:49Speaker 05

  During the ceremony, will your eyes be kind of wandering up into the skies?

• 18:53Conan O'Brien?

  I said, "Adu, do you take this woman, huh?"

• 18:56Speaker 05

  I do.

• 18:57Conan O'Brien?

  I do. Um, nicely done. Uh, yeah, you're going to drift away so many times, like when it's time for toasts. Where is he?

• 19:09Conan O'Brien?

  You're there with nine birds on your arm, talking to them like Dr. Doolittle?

• 19:13Speaker 03

  You're joking, but that's actually how most of-

• 19:14Conan O'Brien?

  I'm not joking. I sum up a human being very quickly. Is your fiance into birds?

• 19:20Speaker 03

  She's into large mammals and she kind of tolerates my birding. And sometimes I'll find a bird, you know, we, we went to Peru earlier this year and I was showing her, "Oh, look, that one's like a really prehistoric looking bird." And she's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." And then like every once in a while, I'll find something that she'll be like, "Oh, wow, that, that actually is really cool and beautiful." Um, but I don't know, we got our camps. We're in the wildlife camp, but you know-

• 19:47Conan O'Brien?

  That's good. It's close enough. It's close enough.

• 19:50Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 19:51Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, my wife is not adjacent to any of my interests in any way. So what you, where you are sounds, you know, much, much healthier. Uh, and I, I compliment you and I, I weep for myself. Um, I do, uh, there's a, uh, well, I, I just think this is a wonderful, I, Sona and I have been to Jaipur.

• 20:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 20:15Conan O'Brien?

  Um, and to the, I guess they call it the, the pink, is it the pink city?

• 20:19Speaker 01

  Is it the pink city?

• 20:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 20:21Speaker 01

  It was very pink.

• 20:22Conan O'Brien?

  It was, uh, I think after, but anyway, we were there, uh, together. We've had so many adventures together, but we were there together, I think around 2010. And, and that was my one dip into India and I loved it. I think it's a magical place. I really do.

• 20:38Speaker 03

  It's fantastic. Yeah, I'm, I'm, I think the most exciting thing for me outside of, you know, marrying my soon to be wife is showing all these people who are so near and dear to me, a culture that I have kind of taken for granted.

• 20:53Conan O'Brien?

  Excuse me, I'm sorry. I'm allergic to niche interests. I'm sorry.

• 20:56Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 20:57Conan O'Brien?

  He was having a nice moment there.

• 20:59Speaker 01

  He's really having a really sweet moment talking about India.

• 21:01Conan O'Brien?

  I couldn't help it. I sneezed for real and then I had to add a joke to cover my human moment. I'm sorry, continue. So- Cat, get it back. My sneeze is over.

• 21:11Speaker 03

  Well, I'm just excited to kind of show parts of my culture that I took for granted growing up, like being invited to all these weddings, going clothes shopping, like going up into the mountains, staying in a bungalow, you know, you know, seeing elephants and it's, there's the culture, there's the environment, there's just like the country itself that I'm really excited to show people. And yeah, I'm, I'm super stoked. It was a lot of work to get here, but.

• 21:35Conan O'Brien?

  Quick question. Uh, I know it's a tradition. Are you going to ride in at one point on a white horse?

• 21:41Speaker 03

  I am not, but I am gonna ride in on a vintage car.

• 21:45Speaker 05

  What kind of car? What car?

• 21:47Conan O'Brien?

  1987 Buick Les Sabre.

• 21:51Speaker 03

  I don't think I have a full say on the specific car. I'll, it could be a, um, a Jaguar, hopefully, fingers crossed. Um, but yeah, I basically, growing up for a lot of our weddings that I like, you know, attended, you know, elephants were used, you know, riding in on elephants.

• 22:11Conan O'Brien?

  Riding, riding in on a big animal is a, is a big thing. And I know this because Jack, none other than Jack McBrayer was invited to one of the Jonas Brothers, I think it was Jeb, Jedediah Jonas, I think, who was married to India. And he said that, uh,

• 22:24Speaker 01

  I can't believe I stopped saying who it actually was.

• 22:27Conan O'Brien?

  The Jonas Brother came in, uh, on, on a white horse.

• 22:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:30Conan O'Brien?

  At the, you know, and the horse was like, what's Jack McBrayer doing here?

• 22:37Conan O'Brien?

  Sorry, taking us far afield.

• 22:38Speaker 03

  No, it's fine. But elephants are, we don't ride them anymore because we found that it's actually super, you know, harmful to them. And, uh, so actually it's good that we're kind of

• 22:51Conan O'Brien?

  Good.

• 22:51Speaker 03

  moving away from that. But.

• 22:53Conan O'Brien?

  Phasing that out.

• 22:53Speaker 03

  A car, car's nice. And my, um, uh, my fiance is, uh, gonna be coming in on a boat.

• 22:59Speaker 01

  Oh, cool. Oh, I wanna go.

• 23:03Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  Well, go to his wedding.

• 23:05Speaker 05

  Let's go.

• 23:05Speaker 03

  Sona, just come.

• 23:07Speaker 01

  Can you postpone the wedding till after the Oscars?

• 23:10Conan O'Brien?

  I think we postpone the Oscars.

• 23:11Speaker 01

  Okay, let's do it.

• 23:13Conan O'Brien?

  You know what I mean? Cause I, I would, I would love to say, the Oscars have been postponed and people will be like, oh, you know, well, probably because of everything that's had in LA. And I'd be like, no, no, no, no, not because of that. Adu is getting married and I need to be there. And he's been a good friend of mine for about 11 hours.

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Yeah. You know, Sona means gold in Hindi. Okay, no one cares.

• 23:35Speaker 05

  Give us time to process it.

• 23:37Speaker 01

  It means gold.

• 23:38Conan O'Brien?

  The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut.

• 23:40Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 23:40Conan O'Brien?

  It's a legume. Did you know that pirates have an eye patch? Not because they're missing an eye.

• 23:44Speaker 01

  Mine was relevant. We're talking about India and that my name means gold.

• 23:49Speaker 03

  He kind of forced it in.

• 23:50Speaker 01

  All right, well, it's just cool. It's a cool little fact.

• 23:52Speaker 03

  Can I just say?

• 23:55Speaker 03

  Choreographed dancing, though, I want, I would love to see y'all do, like, join in on the choreographed dancing.

• 24:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 24:02Speaker 03

  And this is an extra bit of enticement. If you come, we will add the string dance to the choreographed dance.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  I'm out.

• 24:09Conan O'Brien?

  I'm getting, I'm getting. I'm out, too. Eduardo, book me some flights. Got it. I love yelling at S.

• 24:15Speaker 05

  This is your engineer, not your travel engineer.

• 24:17Conan O'Brien?

  Highly trained sound engineer to book. I know, but you have to be jack of all trades in these situations. Eduardo, get me those flights. And a cup of black coffee, see? Book, click, click, click.

• 24:26Speaker 01

  He's just pretending.

• 24:27Conan O'Brien?

  Book, book, click. Book isn't a sound effect. Book, book. It's a key strike.

• 24:36Conan O'Brien?

  Well, Adu, I'm very happy for you. What is your bride's name?

• 24:41Speaker 03

  Allison.

• 24:42Conan O'Brien?

  Allison, okay. Uh, I'm very happy for you and for Allison. And trust me, if I could find a transporter beam, I would, uh, I would be there. You seem like a very cool guy and, uh, I support. I just love that you're using your mind to try and help the planet. I, I, I love that. I would do that, but my mind's no good.

• 25:02Speaker 01

  Hmm.

• 25:03Conan O'Brien?

  But I'm, I'm, I'm happy that you're, you and people like you are hard at work on this, so.

• 25:09Speaker 03

  I appreciate that, Conan, thank you.

• 25:11Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I think we're, I think we're good, right?

• 25:13Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 25:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I want to thank you so much, Adu, for calling in. And, uh, again, very, uh, energizing to find out that we have fans out there who are, uh, smart and funny and cool and, and doing good stuff, so. And have amazing taste in sweaters. I bow to you, sir. I bow to you.

• 25:32Speaker 03

  Thank you.

• 25:32Conan O'Brien?

  All right.

• 25:33Speaker 03

  Um, could I, could I say one last thing?

• 25:35Conan O'Brien?

  Sure.

• 25:36Speaker 03

  Though, I, um, as an exercise, I found birds that I thought, um, reminded me of each one of you.

• 25:44Conan O'Brien?

  Oh. And I have some photos. Go, go for it. That's a quick edit right there.

• 25:48Speaker 03

  Okay. This is called the Andean Cock of the Rock. Uh, and I'll repeat that, Cock of the Rock.

• 25:56Speaker 01

  No, it's not the real name.

• 25:58Conan O'Brien?

  I, that is, I mean, it's like looking in a mirror.

• 26:00Speaker 05

  I'm sorry, I'm not sure who that is.

• 26:03Conan O'Brien?

  That is my bird. What's it called again? I want to write it down and make sure that, uh, they are, uh, you know, don't go extinct. What is it called again?

• 26:11Speaker 03

  The Andean Cock of the Rock.

• 26:14Speaker 05

  Yeah, it's, it's all, all upper body red with a huge red pompadour.

• 26:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 26:20Speaker 05

  I mean, you can't even tell what's head and what's like mating plumage or whatever that is.

• 26:25Conan O'Brien?

  And you can tell, you can tell it breeds insatiably.

• 26:29Speaker 05

  It's called the Cock of the Rock.

• 26:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, no, and it, it, it's just got so much sexual energy.

• 26:33Speaker 05

  It probably has sex with the rock.

• 26:34Speaker 01

  Come on, it probably does.

• 26:36Speaker 03

  So, they have like these kind of performance halls. Uh, I'm not even joking, where all the males just come and kind of unleash all their sexual energy by like bobbing and making like weird dances.

• 26:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yes!

• 26:49Speaker 03

  And then the female, like, uh, Cock of the Rocks, kind of just watch and see.

• 26:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 26:54Speaker 03

  You know, which one catches their eyes. So, I, it just kind of reminded me of Conan for something.

• 26:58Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? I, I'm, I am now Cock of the Rock.

• 27:01Speaker 05

  Cock of the Rock.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Andean Cock of the Rock.

• 27:04Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I'm the Andean Cock of the Rock.

• 27:06Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 27:06Conan O'Brien?

  I love it.

• 27:07Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 27:07Conan O'Brien?

  All right, let's move on. What's Sona? What's Sona?

• 27:10Speaker 01

  Well, this is.

• 27:11Speaker 03

  This is Sona.

• 27:12Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 27:13Speaker 05

  Nice mustache, son.

• 27:14Conan O'Brien?

  No, Sona, look at that. It's got your dad's mustache.

• 27:16Speaker 01

  Come on, man!

• 27:18Conan O'Brien?

  It does.

• 27:18Speaker 03

  So.

• 27:19Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, Gil.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  I want, I want to preface by saying, I, you know, I love hearing you on like, you know, the podcast and, and all the shorts and your kind of laughter fills up the room. And I, I just wanted to shout out to that.

• 27:32Speaker 01

  Aww.

• 27:33Speaker 03

  Uh, this is called the Three Waddled Bellbird. Uh, it's a really cool bird from like Central America. And it is one of the loudest birds, uh, in existence.

• 27:46Speaker 03

  Yes!

• 27:47Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 27:47Speaker 03

  Its calls go to, I think, 100 decibels, like a rock concert, almost. Oh my god. You can hear them across, like, the rainforest.

• 27:55Speaker 01

  Oh my god. Three-waddled, I don't have...

• 27:59Speaker 03

  Bellbird.

• 28:00Conan O'Brien?

  It's so funny you say that because we work in this office building and I'm on the top floor. When Sona enters on the first floor, I hear it as clear, we all do, the whole building shakes. Because you're one of the loudest people I've ever met.

• 28:14Speaker 01

  Okay, yes, okay.

• 28:15Speaker 05

  You're a three-waddled...

• 28:16Speaker 01

  Three-waddled bellbird.

• 28:18Speaker 03

  I'm sorry, Sona.

• 28:19Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no.

• 28:19Speaker 01

  You know what? You're right. And I get it. And I own that about myself.

• 28:24Conan O'Brien?

  And now let's move on to the fussiest of the birds.

• 28:26Speaker 05

  Come on.

• 28:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yay!

• 28:30Speaker 05

  Look at that. I'll take it.

• 28:32Speaker 03

  This is the burrowing owl.

• 28:33Speaker 05

  I'll take it.

• 28:34Speaker 03

  So Gourley, I've, so I, to all of you, I've been kind of ingesting Conan content for two decades. And Gourley, you are newer on the scene for me, right? You know, but I think you came in and you were kind of this wise presence, right? I always think of you as an owl, like the spectacles and everything. And then you kind of started to emerge as, oh, oh, he's insane as well.

• 28:59Speaker 01

  Yes!

• 29:00Speaker 03

  And basically...

• 29:01Speaker 01

  Yes!

• 29:02Speaker 03

  The burrowing owl, super wise, but, I mean, look at him.

• 29:08Conan O'Brien?

  I know.

• 29:08Speaker 03

  They're kind of insane.

• 29:09Speaker 01

  That middle one is crazy.

• 29:11Conan O'Brien?

  That middle one, no, it's very true that Gourley came in and we all thought, well, he's the steady hand on the tiller. Uh, he is, you know, he's clearly the experienced podcaster here. Um, and he very quickly went quite mad. Definitely not the worst, but pretty terrible. Well, Adu, that was a real treat. And we're gonna, we're gonna post those. Because we want our fans to see those and, um, we should probably wrap it up. But, uh, my heartfelt congratulations to you. And, um, I hope our paths cross in person. That would be very cool.

• 29:44Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 29:44Conan O'Brien?

  I'd like to shake your hand.

• 29:46Speaker 03

  I would love that. I would love to do that.

• 29:48Conan O'Brien?

  I have a very firm, firm handshake.

• 29:50Speaker 05

  Congrats, Adu.

• 29:51Conan O'Brien?

  All right, take care, Adu. Have a great time.

• 29:53Speaker 03

  Thank you. Take care.

• 29:56Speaker 05

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Leo. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 30:13Speaker 05

  Supervising producer Aaron Blaird. Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples. Associate producers Sean Dougherty and Lisa Berman. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 30:43Conan O'Brien?

  When you hear Alka-Seltzer, you probably think heartburn, right?

• 30:46Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 30:46Conan O'Brien?

  Well, did you know Alka-Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka-Seltzer Cold?

• 30:52Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 30:53Conan O'Brien?

  Did you know that, David?

• 30:54Speaker 03

  No, but I feel like we need it.

• 30:55Conan O'Brien?

  Why didn't you know that, David?

• 30:56Speaker 03

  I know, you expect me to know everything.

• 30:58Conan O'Brien?

  I knew this.

• 30:59Speaker 03

  Did you?

• 30:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I've tried it, it's really good. And I like that fizzy, fizzy, fizzy when you drop the Alka-Seltzer Cold into the water.

• 31:05Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 31:06Conan O'Brien?

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• 31:32Speaker 06

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