Pod Insights Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend Interrupto! About this episode Conan talks to Mike from Ontario about working as a conservation authority (and former polar bear monitor), training bald eagles, and bear escape tactics.
Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply
Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:02 Conan O'Brien? Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?
0:06 Speaker 01 My kids.
0:07 Conan O'Brien? Okay.
0:07 Speaker 01 Or Oki.
0:08 Conan O'Brien? You gotta get them your stuff.
0:08 Speaker 01 Or my dog.
0:09 Conan O'Brien? And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that, uh, that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?
0:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:19 Conan O'Brien? And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey.
0:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:24 Conan O'Brien? Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's, uh, very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.
0:56 Conan O'Brien? One in four Americans targeted by scams ended up falling for them.
0:59 Speaker 01 I did.
1:00 Conan O'Brien? For me, it would be four out of four. Did you fall for a scam?
1:01 Speaker 01 I fell for a scam once.
1:03 Conan O'Brien? Oh, my God.
1:04 Speaker 01 They didn't steal much.
1:05 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, yep, still, you got taken for a ride.
1:07 Speaker 01 I did.
1:08 Conan O'Brien? And you just put it out there that you're easy to scam.
1:09 Speaker 01 I am!
1:10 Conan O'Brien? One accident, little click, can expose your information, putting you at risk of identity theft. Thankfully, there's LifeLock. LifeLock has live, US-based restoration specialists who will be with you every step of the way to fix your identity theft from first alert to full restoration. Join now and save up to 30% off your first year. This is a good thing to have in your back pocket, don't you think?
1:31 Speaker 01 Yeah, I need this.
1:32 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, you do need it. You need it fast. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.
1:44 Speaker 01 Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.
1:54 Conan O'Brien? Hey, Mike, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.
1:56 Speaker 02 Hey, thanks so much.
1:58 Conan O'Brien? Hey, Mike, how are you? Where are you right now?
2:00 Speaker 02 Oh, my gosh. Hey, Conan, uh, I'm in London, Ontario, in Canada.
2:04 Conan O'Brien? Oh, wow, okay. And are you in the wilderness right now? I mean, are you in a pretty urban area?
2:10 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm in the urban area today.
2:13 Conan O'Brien? Okay. Can I just pretend that you're way out on the tundra somewhere?
2:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, let's do it.
2:18 Conan O'Brien? Okay. Can you occasionally make a
2:22 Conan O'Brien? sound with your mouth, just so I feel like this is really authentic?
2:26 Speaker 02 What do you want, sorry?
2:27 Conan O'Brien? Forget it.
2:29 Speaker 03 That's the perfect response.
2:30 Speaker 01 Why don't you repeat what you asked him?
2:32 Conan O'Brien? No, I'm good.
2:32 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
2:33 Conan O'Brien? And I just wanted to get you to say a Canadian sorry, so I'm happy. Hey, Mike, it says that you are a conservation authority. Is that correct?
2:44 Speaker 02 Oh, yeah, I work for a local conservation authority.
2:47 Conan O'Brien? And in the past, you were a polar bear monitor. What does that mean?
2:55 Speaker 02 Essentially, I would be, I would go up to the Arctic and get dropped off by helicopter with anybody who needs a safe escort across the Arctic from polar bears. So I would kind of track the bears, find the bears, keep my eyes on them and make sure. Sorry, I was supposed to do this reveal earlier.
3:14 Conan O'Brien? What is, oh my god! Look, for those of you listening.
3:19 Speaker 02 She blew it. She started talking to her.
3:20 Conan O'Brien? Mike just panned to, I mean, a Hogwarts owl. You, a beautiful owl is perched right next to you and apparently was just happily hooting. That was the perfect cinematic reveal. If you get a chance to see that, go on your computer and check it out. That's amazing. That was amazing. I love that. What is that bird's name?
3:48 Speaker 02 Well, Conan, I was hoping you could name her for me. She's fairly new to my team here, so I was wondering if you could give her a name. Interrupto? I love it.
3:59 Conan O'Brien? Interrupto the owl.
4:01 Speaker 02 She's also sitting on my router right now, so she might even interrupt us further.
4:05 Conan O'Brien? That's okay. Um, yeah, that bird, Interrupto, just wants to destroy, like, not that guy.
4:13 Speaker 03 Just this podcast?
4:14 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, this podcast? Why isn't it Smartless? And he's like crushing the wire. Um, where's Will Arnett? He's Canadian. Hey Mike, so I just have to ask you, so your job was to be basically a guide who would protect people from polar bears in the Arctic, and so I have so many questions right now. I've always heard polar bears are the most dangerous bear, they can kill you so quickly. Is that true?
4:42 Speaker 02 It's true, yeah. Like a black bear, a grizzly bear might not want anything to do with you, where a polar bear, if they smell you, see you, they're coming to get you. They're hungry, it's cold, and they want to eat.
4:57 Conan O'Brien? Right. They don't, they're not sitting around on their backs, eating a bunch of blueberries that they found. There's nothing like that in the Arctic.
5:06 Speaker 02 No.
5:07 Conan O'Brien? So when they see a hamster and boots walking by, they go for it. They go for that person.
5:12 Speaker 02 They want it, they want it bad.
5:13 Conan O'Brien? So what can you do to protect them in that situation?
5:18 Speaker 02 Yeah, so I care about conservation so much, so I want to protect the bears just as much as I want to protect the humans, because I am armed, I do use non-lethal rounds, but there are lethal rounds if need be. Never had to, never want to.
5:36 Conan O'Brien? So what are the non-lethal rounds made of?
5:39 Speaker 02 Like, it's like a rubber slug, so.
5:42 Conan O'Brien? And so it hurts?
5:43 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:44 Conan O'Brien? If you hit a polar bear with it, he'll say, "I want to leave now."
5:48 Speaker 02 Kind of. I did it once, and the polar bear just kind of like squinted its eyes and walked away.
5:54 Conan O'Brien? Sort of like Clint Eastwood, it looked annoyed and then walked away.
5:57 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5:59 Conan O'Brien? And can I ask you, what is the caliber of weapon, if the rubber bullet isn't working, that you would use on a polar bear? Because I would think it just has to be a, you can't just be using a 22.
6:10 Speaker 02 No, no, it would be a 12 gauge.
6:12 Conan O'Brien? Jesus, okay.
6:13 Speaker 02 Yeah.
6:14 Conan O'Brien? But I'm glad, but you never had to kill a bear?
6:16 Speaker 02 No, I haven't. I've had some guys think that maybe I should have, you know, they might have pooped their pants a bit while they hid behind me, but I wanted to give that bear every chance to get away, and luckily, nobody got hurt and the bear got away.
6:30 Conan O'Brien? I think once they pooped their pants, the bear wanted to leave.
6:32 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah.
6:33 Conan O'Brien? That's what saved their lives. Doesn't want food. The bear was like, "Oh my god, there's poop all over my hamster."
6:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, yuck.
6:45 Conan O'Brien? I'm giving this a terrible Yelp review.
6:52 Conan O'Brien? You also have worked a lot with birds, is that correct?
6:55 Speaker 02 That's right, yep. Birds of prey.
6:57 Conan O'Brien? Birds of prey, and you would train the birds of prey?
7:00 Speaker 02 Yep, train them right from the very beginning. And I would use them anywhere that has a problem with birds not of prey. So if there's a blueberry farm and all the songbirds are eating all the blueberries, they would hire me to bring my birds of prey. I would fly them around and it would scare all the other birds away.
7:21 Conan O'Brien? Okay, so tell me a little bit, what kind of birds of prey are we talking about?
7:25 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:26 Conan O'Brien? Hawks?
7:27 Speaker 02 Jeer falcons, sacred falcons, parrot falcons, Harris hawks, bald eagles, all kinds of different birds.
7:34 Conan O'Brien? You can train a bald eagle?
7:37 Speaker 02 I had a bald eagle named Babe. I raised her from an egg, basically, so...
7:42 Speaker 01 Oh, you are so rugged.
7:44 Conan O'Brien? Take it easy, Sona.
7:46 Speaker 02 You okay?
7:47 Conan O'Brien? You're married, Sona.
7:48 Speaker 02 What's up?
7:49 Speaker 01 Oh, right, yeah, yeah.
7:51 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, wow.
7:53 Speaker 01 Thanks, David.
7:54 Conan O'Brien? Good lord. To be fair, I'm swooning too.
7:59 Speaker 02 Oh, so am I.
8:00 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Wow, let's get it on.
8:05 Conan O'Brien? Time for some polar... hey, time for some polar porn. So, anyway, moving on. I didn't think you could train a bald eagle.
8:16 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's possible. They are one of the trickier to train birds because they have a natural instinct to be a bit nasty.
8:25 Conan O'Brien? Oh, really?
8:25 Speaker 02 If they can steal prey from another bird, they will. You know, to save themselves the energy of catching their own. So, you know, they can be...
8:33 Conan O'Brien? I love that that's the symbol of America.
8:35 Speaker 02 Oh, I know.
8:37 Conan O'Brien? Our national symbol is the dickiest of the birds.
8:42 Conan O'Brien? I'll steal that food before I get my own.
8:47 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, Babe had a, Babe was her name. Uh, she had a really good, uh, personality. She didn't really have that nasty side, uh, except towards women. Um, my girlfriend at the time.
8:58 Conan O'Brien? What, really?
8:59 Speaker 02 They were near me when I had her, but, uh, you could come up and shake my hand and she'd just be like,
9:03 Conan O'Brien? No, many birds have thought I was a woman. Trust me. They, they're like, uh, no, but, so, really, uh, so sometimes a bird will, or in this case, a, a bald eagle, or in Babe's case specifically, Babe would be cool with dudes, but if a lady showed up, would try to attack the lady, or?
9:23 Speaker 02 She was super jealous. Yeah, I wouldn't give her the chance. I'd, I'd, I'd hold on to her pretty good, but, uh, yeah, she'd think about it. She'd let you know she wasn't happy.
9:32 Conan O'Brien? This must have gotten in the way of your dating life, I would think, that you had a bird that attacked women instantly.
9:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, well, it did, and, um, but that's all right.
9:46 Conan O'Brien? I know what you mean.
9:47 Speaker 02 I got polar bears to monitor.
9:49 Conan O'Brien? You get to live alone, you know, yeah, um.
9:56 Conan O'Brien? Wow, so, you have all these different birds and then you would use them, like, oh damn, there's some seagulls that are hanging around my house by the ocean and they're real drag and they're pooping all over the place. Um, I'm gonna get one of these birds of prey to chase them out of here and it works?
10:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'll get rid of them right away for you, but, um, we do something called car hawking, um, which is essentially the hawk will ride in the front seat of my car, uh, we will do a drive-by of your house, I'll do down my window and the hawk will just fly out. Um, she might grab a sea dog, she might miss, but either way, every sea dog in the area is gonna disappear pretty fast.
10:35 Conan O'Brien? And how long do they stay away for? When does it, when do people think, okay, the coast is clear now, the guy, the who has a hawk in his car, what left?
10:42 Speaker 02 Yeah, it, it depends, uh, they will send like a scope for back to sea.
10:46 Conan O'Brien? Left.
10:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, if it's a food source, like a landfill, they will keep coming back daily to check and see if I'm still there.
10:53 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
10:54 Speaker 02 Um, and, and I would be, but.
10:56 Conan O'Brien? I love that you would ride up with a hawk in your front seat, riding shotgun, and then you'd pull up to the address and go, here we are, 34 Crenshaw Road, put the window down and, wah!
11:09 Speaker 01 That's boss.
11:10 Conan O'Brien? That's so amazing.
11:11 Speaker 01 And then the hawk scares them all and just comes right back into your car?
11:15 Speaker 02 Uh, if they catch a bird, they'll stay out there. I did have a hawk train to come back right in the window, um, and I drove a Dodge Dakota at the time and she went out the window and I was driving behind a Dodge Dakota and they had their windows down. They didn't know me and she flew straight into their window and the car hit the gravel. Everyone came running out of their cars.
11:36 Conan O'Brien? You know what I love? The hawk being embarrassed. Yeah, I'm just thinking of the hawk going, "Oh God, I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm so sorry." No, it's, it's just, I swear to God. It's the same, it's maroon. It's the same color. It's okay, it's okay. No, no, oh God, oh God. What, did the hawk just cover its face when it got back to your car? With its two wings?
11:57 Speaker 02 She walked back to me, yeah.
11:58 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. "Just get me home. Just get me home. Just get me home. Oh my God, oh my God."
12:02 Speaker 01 The walk of shame.
12:03 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, the walk of shame for a hawk. Bird of prey, walk of shame.
12:10 Speaker 01 Oh my God.
12:11 Conan O'Brien? Wow, that's so amazing.
12:19 Conan O'Brien? You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?
12:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, I love awards.
12:23 Conan O'Brien? Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.
12:36 Speaker 01 Nice.
12:37 Conan O'Brien? Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.
12:45 Speaker 01 I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.
12:50 Conan O'Brien? I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?
13:09 Speaker 01 Hello.
13:10 Conan O'Brien? They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space with available...
13:19 Conan O'Brien? I have this memorized H track all wheel drive up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality innovation, technology and value drivers expect from an award winning brand. View US News best cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.
13:43 Conan O'Brien? Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?
13:48 Speaker 01 My kids.
13:48 Conan O'Brien? Okay.
13:49 Speaker 01 Or Oki.
13:49 Conan O'Brien? You gotta get them your stuff.
13:50 Speaker 01 Or my dog.
13:51 Conan O'Brien? And then your, your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that, uh, that, that cinnamon cider in the air. Do you smell that?
14:00 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:01 Conan O'Brien? And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. Little early to buy a turkey.
14:05 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:06 Conan O'Brien? Doesn't matter. Holidays, I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's, uh, very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season, shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com slash holiday.
14:36 Conan O'Brien? Sona, what are some of the things in life that really get you down?
14:39 Speaker 01 Uh, driving?
14:40 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
14:40 Speaker 01 I, that's the first thing that popped in my head.
14:42 Conan O'Brien? No, but I've seen you drive and it's true. I'm always picking mailboxes out of your grill.
14:48 Conan O'Brien? You're a creative driver. Uh, look, let's face it. Just living on earth can be a lot, right?
14:53 Speaker 01 It can.
14:54 Conan O'Brien? I mean, oy vey, it's a lot.
14:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:56 Conan O'Brien? There's gravity, there's mosquitoes, there's this, you know that they say the sun is going to at some point go supernova and incinerate the earth, probably in five billion years.
15:04 Speaker 01 Okay.
15:05 Conan O'Brien? But watch your diet, we might be sticking around for that.
15:07 Speaker 01 Oh, man.
15:08 Conan O'Brien? So cosmically speaking, you've earned a break.
15:10 Speaker 01 Yeah.
15:10 Conan O'Brien? And you know where this is going? I think you do.
15:12 Speaker 01 No.
15:13 Conan O'Brien? Pluto TV.
15:13 Speaker 01 Oh, right.
15:14 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. To escape all of these hassles in life, you gotta get Pluto TV. Turn off all your earthly problems and turn on the movies and shows you already love. You've seen them, but you want to see them again. They're old friends.
15:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
15:26 Conan O'Brien? Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Dirty Dancing, Alias, X-Files. Pluto TV is completely free.
15:32 Speaker 01 Ooh.
15:32 Conan O'Brien? These streamers, all these things cost so much money these days. And I won't mention that when I do an ad for them, but.
15:39 Conan O'Brien? No subscription, no fees, zero dollars. And as any mathematician will tell you, zero is one of the most profound numbers ever conceived. I was thinking about that this morning.
15:47 Speaker 01 Wow, that's profound.
15:48 Conan O'Brien? I really wasn't. The best thing on TV are free. Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.
15:57 Conan O'Brien? Sona, you have to admit, the holidays, it's really about hanging with the people you love.
16:03 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:04 Conan O'Brien? And getting to be yourself. Not going to some stuffy holiday party where you need to conform to what the man wants you to think about the holidays.
16:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:13 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, it's about being yourself. Turn your holiday time into Miller time by enjoying a Miller Lite in a place where you're free to enjoy yourself on a walk with a cousin. With a cousin? Why are they getting all specific about?
16:24 Speaker 01 Because it's family.
16:25 Conan O'Brien? But what about a niece or a nephew?
16:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:27 Conan O'Brien? Um, like a walk with an ex-wife. Uh, I don't know. I mean, they're just throwing, that's a weird, they just made a very specific choice.
16:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
16:36 Conan O'Brien? Now's the time for those unexpected holiday side guests and enjoy a great tasting light beer. 'Tis Miller time, as Dickens wrote. Miller Lite is brewed for taste, the taste you can depend on. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic more than 50 years later. I like to be with my bros, my chums, my posse. Crack open a Miller Lite, take a swig, a sip, look around and see my friends. We've known each other forever and we're just hanging out.
17:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, you guys are just doing chest bumps and high-fiving.
17:06 Conan O'Brien? Miller Lite is great taste done right. Go to millerlite.com/conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. 'Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
17:27 Conan O'Brien? A bunch of fascinations here. I love the birds. I love, did you always, did you ever work with other bears, other than polar bears, grizzlies? Because grizzlies fascinate me.
17:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, they are incredible. I didn't work directly with them, but I was a guide on horseback in the Rocky Mountains.
17:45 Conan O'Brien? Yep.
17:46 Speaker 02 Um, and I've had a few run-ins with grizzly bears, but nothing too, nothing too crazy.
17:51 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
17:51 Speaker 01 Oh my god.
17:52 Speaker 02 But they, they're also quite incredible.
17:55 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I mean, take it easy, Sona. I'm sure Tac has been around.
18:00 Speaker 01 It's just one thing after the other with this guy.
18:02 Conan O'Brien? Didn't Tac, hasn't Tac worked with some lethal animals?
18:06 Speaker 01 No!
18:06 Conan O'Brien? Wasn't there a, no, there was a sickly hamster that he befriended.
18:09 Speaker 01 No, he's like cuddling with our poodle at home, like, you know.
18:12 Conan O'Brien? Alright, well.
18:13 Speaker 01 That's what I have.
18:14 Conan O'Brien? Okay, take it easy, I'm a big Tac fan.
18:18 Speaker 01 You can have him, I'll go to, I'll move to Canada.
18:23 Conan O'Brien? And be attacked immediately by one of his birds.
18:26 Speaker 02 No, no, no, I won't allow it.
18:28 Conan O'Brien? I'll cut her bitch! Cut, cut! I'll cut her bitch!
18:34 Speaker 01 I'll die immediately. I forgot, I'm not a very outdoorsy person.
18:38 Conan O'Brien? Take it easy, interrupto.
18:43 Conan O'Brien? Wow, I, no, I'm fascinated by grizzlies, and it's this crazy fascination where I find it terrifying, the idea of being mauled and eaten by a grizzly, but I'm also, I, I, I just find them so fascinating that part of me wants to have a grizzly encounter, just as much as I don't want to have a grizzly encounter. Does that make sense to you?
19:05 Speaker 02 I totally get it, I totally get it. I tried to tell my mom and family things, because it's, it's a bit of a dangerous job, so they worry about me, but,
19:16 Speaker 02 not to be morbid, but like, I don't want to, you know, die of old age, working in an office my whole life, if I, if I had a, you know, a bear encounter, and that's what happened, like, I don't want it, it would be awful, but like, you know?
19:30 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, that's like, that is a closed casket funeral, I'm telling you right now. Yeah, or if there's a, I don't even know what's left at that point, you know? They have to follow the bear for three weeks.
19:42 Conan O'Brien? Keep tricking it to use a toilet. And then put your wool cap on whatever's left. I'm sorry, but that's exactly what would happen. Still sound romantic to you, dude?
19:55 Speaker 02 Just leave me out there, it's okay.
19:59 Conan O'Brien? Okay, leave you out there. Got it. Okay. I think this is very cool. Now, be honest with me. Mike, if you've been listening to me at all, or familiar with my work and know me as a person, what you see is pretty much what you get. How would I do in these situations, you think? If you were with me? Terribly. Whether it's in the Arctic and we're approaching a polar bear? You're dead. Or in a grizzly encounter? I'm, I'm, I want to know. I want to know. I'm, I'm constantly wondering how I would measure up.
20:29 Speaker 01 I think you, you know.
20:30 Conan O'Brien? I don't know. I know, I don't. Go ahead.
20:33 Speaker 02 Let's see, how big can you get?
20:34 Conan O'Brien? How big can I get? I'm 6'4" without doing anything. Uh, and if I, when I'm, when frightened, my hair gets much taller. Uh, so I could be 6'6", maybe?
20:45 Speaker 02 Okay, so that's bigger than me. I'm bald. So I'm 6'4", but I'm bald. So you're, you might, standing behind me, we'd look even bigger. So you know what? We might, we might survive together out there.
20:56 Conan O'Brien? Would you think that I'd be the kind of person to panic and run, or do you think I'd be calm?
21:00 Speaker 02 Uh, I want to believe you'd be, be calm.
21:03 Conan O'Brien? Why do you want to believe that? Why can't you just believe that?
21:05 Speaker 02 I don't know. You might try and like use comedy to get out of it.
21:07 Conan O'Brien? Yes. Hey, here's my question. Do grizzlies like bits? Do they like, like sort of cartoony physical shtick?
21:17 Speaker 02 Little bits.
21:18 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, okay, yeah, okay. So I'm just thinking, um, yeah, that's the problem. The biggest problem is I might see a comedy opportunity.
21:26 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:27 Conan O'Brien? And start, you know, pretending to be another bear who's kind of a wise guy. And I could see that really irritating. Not just a human, but any member of the animal kingdom.
21:38 Speaker 01 If the bear wasn't going to kill you, after your bits, it would want to kill you.
21:43 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
21:43 Speaker 01 You would be doing yourself a disservice.
21:45 Conan O'Brien? The bear might befriend me, and then I would start to show the bear stuff from the podcast and Old Conan episodes. At which point, the bear would reduce me to a pile of ground chuck instantly.
21:58 Speaker 03 You're still gonna be doing bits during the attack?
22:00 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, even during the pet. I'd be like, "Oh no, I'm being murdered by a bear." "Maul, maul, I tell ya, maul." "Look at me, I have one leg." "Look at me, uh-oh, hoppy, hoppy, hop." "Got one leg and a hoppy, hoppy, hop."
22:16 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, Mike, I'm gonna cancel this idea right now.
22:19 Speaker 02 Okay, if you change your mind, though, you know, we can go out there, I'll make sure.
22:23 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, yeah.
22:24 Speaker 02 We have a good time.
22:25 Conan O'Brien? Uh, we'd have a good time. I like this guy.
22:27 Speaker 01 I do too, yeah.
22:28 Conan O'Brien? And, um, I, I think you and I would do well hanging out. I think we'd be good buddies.
22:33 Speaker 02 And I think- It's so mutual.
22:35 Conan O'Brien? I would try to, I think I could, I think I would be a little, you know, the way I, you've seen this, Sona and David, I, um, I kinda become the person I'm with if I'm with them for a while. I'm very zelig that way. I think I would become more like Mike.
22:51 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
22:51 Conan O'Brien? Uh, and I would, I might calm down. I really like being out in nature. I chill out a bit. There's way too much stimulation around me all the time. This might calm me down and maybe battling a bear of some kind would, you know, make me realize what it's all really about.
23:09 Speaker 01 Yeah. Battle a bear?
23:11 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
23:11 Speaker 01 Like, you think you have a chance?
23:12 Conan O'Brien? I have a very good chance.
23:13 Speaker 01 Okay, if maybe, maybe Mike is there.
23:16 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Only if Mike is there.
23:18 Speaker 01 That's true.
23:19 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. I will be in the car. The car will be locked. I'll be in there with your hawk. With the hawk.
23:25 Speaker 02 There's, there's no cars out in the Arctic.
23:27 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
23:27 Speaker 02 Dropped off, so.
23:28 Conan O'Brien? Oh, we get dropped off?
23:29 Speaker 02 Okay. Yeah, so there's, there's no, uh, obviously no wifi, no reception. You're in the middle of nowhere.
23:36 Conan O'Brien? I love it.
23:36 Speaker 02 And that's, uh, it can get quite boring. I'd go out for thirty to sixty days at a time. So I basically downloaded a gajillion hours of your podcast, uh, and Trailer Park Boys. Um, and I would just listen to you guys.
23:50 Conan O'Brien? Thank you. That's, look at that.
23:52 Speaker 01 That is very cool. That's really cool.
23:54 Speaker 02 Well, I've been, uh, yeah, I've been watching you for, forever, Conan, um, and I just have so much respect for you and your team.
24:01 Conan O'Brien? Thank you so much.
24:02 Speaker 02 You're bringing comedy and kindness, um, and we just need so much more of that, and you're bringing it away. It just reaches everyone.
24:09 Conan O'Brien? That's so nice of you.
24:10 Speaker 02 Me getting to tell you this is changing my life.
24:13 Conan O'Brien? Oh, wow.
24:14 Speaker 02 Like, I just, I want you to know how, uh, how incredible, um, you're, you're changing people's lives, whether you know it or not. It's such a good way.
24:23 Conan O'Brien? Well, uh, all I know is we keep our head down and we, we do this stuff and we do it 'cause, uh, I can't not do it. Does that make sense? I'm not trying to do a public service. I do this 'cause it just has to happen. You guys have been around me when I haven't been able to do this for 10 minutes and it's not pretty. But Mike, getting to talk to you is a real, it's a real pleasure. You seem like a great person and what you're doing is really cool and I love that you have found this life for yourself. Those are, I say this all the time when we talk to fans, people that have found what they love and what they're passionate about and then they manage to will that to be their career, their life. I think that is the best way to go, you know, through our time here.
25:08 Conan O'Brien? I really do. I managed to do it, you're doing it. It's a beautiful thing. So I hope our paths cross in person, because I'd love to shake your hand. I really would.
25:18 Speaker 02 Incredible, Conan, incredible.
25:20 Conan O'Brien? Did you have a question for Conan?
25:22 Speaker 02 A question for him. Well, I got him to name Interrupto over there.
25:26 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
25:27 Speaker 02 She sat beside me perfectly through all the tech checks as soon as we got off, she flew away, so.
25:32 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I know. She saw which way this was going. Oh, look! Really standoffish now.
25:40 Speaker 01 Just get back to Arnett.
25:42 Speaker 02 I brought her to a staff meeting earlier today and she was interrupting everyone, so they're gonna love that name you gave her.
25:49 Conan O'Brien? Well, say hi to everybody and, Mike, a real pleasure and I mean it. I hope we cross paths. That'd be fun.
25:56 Speaker 02 That would be incredible.
25:57 Conan O'Brien? Look, I'm hard to miss, so keep your eyes peeled.
25:59 Speaker 02 Okay, well, thank you so much. This was incredible, guys. Thanks for everything you do.
26:03 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, this was really fun. Take care, we'll see you soon. Bye.
26:06 Speaker 02 Thank you. Bye.
26:08 Speaker 04 Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Dougherty and Lisa Berman. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are done.
26:54 Conan O'Brien? Technology can generate salary recommendations in seconds, but building an offer that lands skilled talent, that takes more than just an estimate you came up with.
27:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're right.
27:04 Conan O'Brien? That's where Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide can help.
27:08 Speaker 01 That's good.
27:08 Conan O'Brien? Did we use a salary guide with you, Sona?
27:10 Speaker 01 Uh, no, but maybe-
27:11 Conan O'Brien? For several years, I just gave you groceries, remember?
27:14 Speaker 01 I know, yeah, I remember that. That was not good.
27:16 Conan O'Brien? Uh, well, anyway, now you got Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide. As a staffing firm placing talent every day, Robert Half combines compensation data with the experience of local recruiters so you can hire with the confidence that comes from experience. The new Robert Half Salary Guide is here. Visit roberthalf.com/salaryguide.
27:38 Conan O'Brien? When you hear Alka-Seltzer, you probably think heartburn, right?
27:40 Speaker 03 Yep.
27:41 Conan O'Brien? Well, did you know Alka-Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka-Seltzer Cold? Did you know that, David?
27:48 Speaker 03 No, but I feel like we need it.
27:50 Conan O'Brien? Why didn't you know that, David?
27:51 Speaker 03 I know, you expect me to know everything.
27:53 Conan O'Brien? I knew this because I-
27:54 Speaker 03 Did you?
27:54 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I've tried it, it's really good. And I like that fizzy, fizzy, fizzy when you drop the Alka-Seltzer Cold into the water. Alka-Seltzer Cold Fast Dissolves Tablets are designed to deliver cold and flu relief fast. Just drop the two tablets in water and hear those bubbles bursting into action, ready to work faster than pills. Bubbles faster than pills. Pills take time to dissolve, not bubbles. Next time a cold or flu strikes, quick! Alka-Seltzer Cold: Nothing works faster for cold and flu symptom relief. Among oral products used as directed.
Previous Ken Burns Next Arsenio Hall Page updated October 31, 2026 · transcript and summary are machine-generated