Pod Insights Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend Johnny Knoxville About this episode Actor, producer, and television host Johnny Knoxville feels harder than a turnbuckle about being Conan O’Brien’s friend.
Johnny sits down with Conan to discuss how he began producing stunt videos as a means to support his family, hare-brained ideas from the upcoming fifth Jackass film, and how hosting Fear Factor instilled in him a strange new kind of empathy. Plus, Conan grills Sona and David Hopping about their least favorite tasks as his assistants.
For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com.
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Transcript 12,831 words · 8 speakers
Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
0:03 Conan O'Brien? One in four Americans targeted by scams ended up falling for them.
0:07 Speaker 01 I did.
0:07 Conan O'Brien? For me, it would be four out of four. Did you fall for a scam?
0:09 Speaker 01 I fell for a scam once.
0:10 Conan O'Brien? Oh, my God. Incredible.
0:11 Speaker 01 They didn't steal much.
0:12 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, still, you got taken for a ride.
0:15 Speaker 01 I did.
0:15 Conan O'Brien? And you just put it out there that you're easy to scam.
0:17 Speaker 01 I am.
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0:51 Conan O'Brien? Now, Sona, clearly, I'm a very important person to you.
0:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:54 Conan O'Brien? Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.
0:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:57 Conan O'Brien? I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?
1:02 Speaker 01 A vase.
1:04 Conan O'Brien? No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.
1:06 Speaker 01 A jacket.
1:08 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.
1:09 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.
1:10 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.
1:12 Speaker 01 Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.
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1:51 Conan O'Brien? Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville.
1:56 Speaker 02 And I feel harder than a turnbuckle about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
2:02 Conan O'Brien? You know what? I think you just may have had the best one ever.
2:05 Speaker 02 Would you prefer harder than a folding chair? Because I can switch.
2:08 Conan O'Brien? I like turnbuckle. It's got a nice, it's really poetic. And I want that on my gravestone. Harder than a turnbuckle. And soon.
2:36 Conan O'Brien? Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, joined by Sona Movsesian and Matt Gourley, still out on a parental leave. He has a brand new baby, very excited for him and for his wife Amanda. He's got two girls now, which is just lovely. And David Hopping, filling in for him. David, good to have you here again.
2:53 Speaker 03 Thank you. Happy to be here.
2:55 Conan O'Brien? Nice to see you. David, you love your reality television. You just love it.
2:59 Speaker 03 Yeah.
2:59 Conan O'Brien? Explain one thing to me, because David loves the show Traitors.
3:03 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:04 Conan O'Brien? And so I checked out the new season of Traitors, because someone I knew was a contestant on the show. And I thought, I just want to see what this is like. And I've seen it before, but I don't know what the strategy is on a show like that. I was watching Traitors and I thought, isn't it, they all act like, oh, I'm, I'm gonna really practice my wiles and my expertise and I'm gonna win the game. And I think, it's not like chess.
3:30 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:31 Conan O'Brien? It looks like people are just doing stuff, but I don't really see a strategy. And then they get voted off or not.
3:37 Speaker 03 Yeah.
3:38 Conan O'Brien? It feels kind of random. Am I wrong about that?
3:40 Speaker 03 They're supposed to like, really be like, paying attention to people, like, to slip up. Like, if Sona's a traitor, I'm like, really watching to see if she messes up and gives me any clue that she's the person going and meeting at night to like, kill people in the castle.
3:53 Conan O'Brien? Well, here's why I watch. I watch because Alan Cumming's saying the word murder.
4:00 Conan O'Brien? That is what keeps me coming back and he says it, I mean, he must know it's working for him. Because his outfits are fantastic, they're just wonderful. But, and he's, he's, he's just chewing scenery left and right in the most delicious way. But he manages to say, "Mardar." Maybe every other sentence.
4:19 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:19 Conan O'Brien? You know?
4:20 Speaker 03 It's so good.
4:20 Conan O'Brien? And, um, and it's, so that's fun. And then people are doing stuff like they're running around and you've got to put this cantaloupe on top of that gravestone. Oh no, not on that gravestone. And it doesn't seem to, I try to figure out what it's all about and I don't know.
4:35 Speaker 01 I don't watch it.
4:36 Conan O'Brien? What do you, what reality shows are you obsessed with, Sona?
4:38 Speaker 01 You know what, I'm not watching reality right now. I'm watch, I, I'm, I'm in the, I, I just like, I like horny shows. That's what I do. I'm sorry. And you knew that about me.
4:48 Conan O'Brien? He did rivalry.
4:49 Speaker 01 Well, yeah, now I'm watching the new season of Tell Me Lies. David and I talked about that.
4:53 Conan O'Brien? I don't know what that is.
4:54 Speaker 01 Of course you don't.
4:55 Conan O'Brien? How is it horny?
4:56 Speaker 01 No, it's, it's horny. There's, there's like sexy people sexting. And so I like it.
5:01 Conan O'Brien? Is it full nudity?
5:02 Speaker 01 No, you, like, do you see things?
5:05 Conan O'Brien? No, no, but just like, uh.
5:06 Speaker 01 Yeah, it is actually.
5:07 Conan O'Brien? It's like soft core kind of.
5:09 Speaker 01 Not soft core, no, not, it's like with, you know, there's stuff. There's, you could see it, but you can't see it.
5:15 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, you see the occasional butt, maybe a half boob.
5:18 Speaker 01 Yeah. Oh my God, you're getting really into like details.
5:21 Conan O'Brien? Can you draw what you see?
5:22 Speaker 01 Oh my God, okay.
5:24 Conan O'Brien? Can you just draw it for me?
5:24 Speaker 01 You can watch it. You're an adult man. If you want to watch it, you can.
5:28 Conan O'Brien? Hmm, sometimes my priest stops by.
5:32 Conan O'Brien? Avert your gaze, Father McNulty.
5:39 Speaker 01 Oh my God.
5:40 Conan O'Brien? So, uh, reality shows.
5:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:42 Conan O'Brien? What is your, what's your go-to reality show? Is, is it Traitors or no?
5:46 Speaker 03 I would say Big Brother than Traitors, which I know Blay watches.
5:50 Conan O'Brien? And Adam's a massive, you're a Big Brother. I've never watched Big Brother.
5:53 Speaker 04 I like Traitors too.
5:54 Speaker 03 Yeah.
5:54 Speaker 05 Uh, here's what I love about Big Brother, which is it's in a house. The idea is it's people who are sequestered in a house and they don't get to see another person, period. Like none of the producers they see, uh, all the camera people are behind one-way mirrors. Uh, and it's watching 18 people. People slowly lose their mind.
6:11 Conan O'Brien? Right.
6:11 Speaker 05 Over the course of a season because the house is very big and it's made for 18 people. But people get voted out every week. So when it gets down like to like six people in a house full of four 18 people. And they haven't talked to anyone else for like months, it is insane.
6:28 Conan O'Brien? Would you agree with that assessment, Adam?
6:29 Speaker 04 I would. I also, there's something really comforting about it. It's on three nights a week during the summer when like a lot of the big sports are off season.
6:37 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
6:37 Speaker 04 And it's, it would be considered boring at times. It's people sitting around whispering like on couches. Uh, whispering about strategy, but there's just something kind of passive and enjoyable.
6:47 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, it's better than talking to your loved ones or reading a really good, moving book. No judgment. Yeah?
6:52 Speaker 05 They also have a thing called Big Brother After Dark and they have all these camera feeds. Where you could just, when they're not on the show, you could just watch them unfiltered.
7:00 Conan O'Brien? No.
7:00 Speaker 05 And I used to, I used to put those on and work out when they were working out in the house.
7:06 Conan O'Brien? Like you have a friend?
7:07 Speaker 05 Yeah, like I had a friend because I live alone.
7:10 Conan O'Brien? Can I just say, first of all, it's just for voyeurs, I think. And in my day, you had to go out and do your own peeping. And, and I think that's one of the things we've lost in America is you had to go into someone else's yard. And you had to hang around near the shrubs and then peek in through their windows and hope that someone was, uh, undressing. And that's the kind of stuff that I thought really was the fiber of this country, the backbone. Yeah. Um, I peeped, uh, all through my teens, my twenties, my thirties. Um, I, I leered, I oggled, I peered occasionally. Ew. Uh, and those were things that, those taught me valuable life skills.
7:51 Conan O'Brien? And now people are just, oh, I don't have to do that. I don't have to even leave my house. I left my house. Wandering at night to try and find houses that were brightly lit. Where people were possibly undressing, maybe on the first floor. Okay. Or if it's on the second floor, I had to go up a drainpipe. This is stuff that taught me to be resilient.
8:09 Speaker 05 You really had to put the work in.
8:11 Conan O'Brien? I had, I got my, my heart, my arm and hand strength from climbing up the sides of houses. And then the policeman would show up and it'd say, hey, we've got a peeper. And then I had to haul ass. I had to scurry down and I had to run. And that old cherry top would come afterward. Whee, whee, whee. And they would say, Peeper, Peeper, stand still. And I had to run. I had to really run and run and run. And then I'd get home and my mother would say, how'd the peeping go? My mother would say, how'd the, how'd tell me how'd the peeping go tonight? And I'd say, meh, I got chased by the fuzz. And she'd say, oh, have a fried ham. And so, you know, I'd chow down and that's just how things were in my mind. So.
8:55 Conan O'Brien? Now we can just put on Paramount Plus.
8:59 Conan O'Brien? You ever do any peeping there, Eduardo? Back in my day. Yeah. No.
9:02 Speaker 01 No.
9:04 Conan O'Brien? Never.
9:05 Speaker 01 No, don't play along with this.
9:07 Conan O'Brien? Anyone here want to join me on this peeping thing? You're the only peeper. Oh, man, I'm a good peeper. I'd peep to the right, I'd peep to the left. I was really good. I used to not be able to go to the left, but then I learned how.
9:17 Speaker 01 Oh, good.
9:17 Conan O'Brien? That's good.
9:18 Speaker 01 Goals.
9:19 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Anywho. Happy for you. I'm a good peeper. I just love saying peeper now. Mm-hmm. Today's guest, co-creative.
9:26 Speaker 01 Oh, God.
9:27 Conan O'Brien? And stars in the MTV series Jackass. This guy would appreciate my peeping past. I know he would. Now you can see him hosting the Fox series Fear Factor: House of Fear. And he just announced that a fifth Jackass movie is on the way. That's good news. Later this year. We're thrilled he's here.
9:49 Conan O'Brien? Johnny Knoxville, welcome.
9:55 Conan O'Brien? I've always been an admirer of yours and you are a, have a special place in my heart. Because in another lifetime, you were on an episode of the late night show that we then decided to turn into Claymation. And so, and it was an episode where I think you were the first guest and you were great. And so it's all happens in Claymation later on. And then I think Richard Lewis comes out and starts talking about Shaq's penis. Just goes off the rails. It was wonderful. It was wonderful. And he goes off the rails and at one point I stand, this is in the real show. I stand and I say, walk with me, Johnny, because he's going. Going on this long, he says he saw Shaq's penis and he's describing it and I walk with you
10:39 Conan O'Brien? and I put my arm around your shoulder and you and I walk to the fake window and look out at the fake window while Richard Lewis is still talking about Shaq's penis. And then this all happened in claymation, which made me so happy because I'm like, walk with me Johnny, and it's not good claymation.
10:54 Speaker 02 And David Bowie's there and I think he was on the couch. I don't know if Richard Lewis starts going off in front of him.
11:01 Conan O'Brien? I don't remember. It's all a blur.
11:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, I, because that's the first time, it's the first time, well, I think maybe the only time I met David Bowie. And it was like, this was one of the best nights because after we filmed, you're like, wow, that was good.
11:11 Conan O'Brien? We wanted to do a claymation episode, but we wanted a really great episode that would be visual and funny to see in claymation. And then that was the episode. We decided, oh, it's not going to get better than that. And then it was so much fun, but there are so many times, the weirdest times, I'll like be brushing my teeth and I'll hear, "Walk with me Johnny." You and I go into the window to look out. So weird, but you've always been, you're always an amazing guest and a true, true to your oeuvre, your work, a real showman, you know? It's just, and so I wanted to start with, I don't do this with every guest, but you have such a fascinating career arc. Do you know what I mean? Just absolutely fascinating.
11:56 Speaker 02 Why'd you do quotations when you said career comedy?
12:02 Conan O'Brien? I'm including myself in there too. No, I've, no one sets out to have a career the way that you have. And it's, I just think there's so much that's brilliant about it. And, and then you're so effing likeable, you know? And you've, so you, you ride that all along too. That is kind of your, I think your secret sauce. But how does one even begin to become a Johnny Knoxville?
12:28 Speaker 02 Well, you don't go to college, that's for sure.
12:34 Speaker 02 And you just get on the 10 West.
12:38 Conan O'Brien? Okay, step one, if you're listening, don't go to college, then get on the 10 West.
12:43 Speaker 02 Yeah.
12:45 Conan O'Brien? And you're.
12:45 Speaker 02 It's fast, faster and disaster. That's how you do it.
12:49 Conan O'Brien? And you started making these videos on your own, right? This is, we're going back to what, in the late 90s?
12:56 Speaker 02 Yes, what happened was, honestly, I moved out to Los Angeles to become an actor, just two months, or maybe a month after high school. Didn't do a lot, you know?
13:08 Conan O'Brien? Right.
13:09 Speaker 02 For five, six years, and then my then girlfriend got pregnant, and I'm like, oh, I have to do something quick, because that's the most frightened I've ever been. Because I had a little girl on the way, and I'm waiting tables, and I'm like, I gotta do something quick, so. I was living next to Antoine Fuqua in this duplex, and he set me up with this casting agent, who got me a commercial agent, and I started writing for magazines. And like my version of participatory journalism, like Hunter S. Thompson type of. I was like, how about if I, one of my first articles was, how about if I test self-defense equipment on myself?
13:52 Speaker 02 I was, I was just, that was my best guess at how to support a family. And it was all out of fear of how to support, how to support a little girl, honestly.
14:04 Conan O'Brien? I think you described that leap as if it's an honest, natural progression. You know, well, a kid's on the way, and I better, you know, start to get serious here. It's time to test self-defense.
14:17 Speaker 02 Time to shoot myself in the chest while wearing a bulletproof vest.
14:22 Conan O'Brien? That'll provide security. Yeah, so you start doing it, and then you start making videos.
14:26 Speaker 02 Well, when the only magazine, a few magazines around town wanted that article, but none of them, they wanted to treat it as a negative pickup. Come see us after you're done, and then we'll. The only magazine who would help me, like buy the stun gun, the taser gun, I bought the bulletproof vest with money my mom gave me for Christmas that year, was the editor of Big Brother magazine, Jeff Tremaine, who is now the director of Jackass, and.
14:57 Speaker 02 He had a skateboarding magazine owned by Larry Flynt that that's in right before I was writing. I said, how about if I write the article? Jeff goes, why don't you film it at the same time? And they for our skate video. I'm like, okay. And that's what happened. And of course I went to the. He's like, I'll have Dimitri go with you to film it, who is now the director of photography of Jackass. And I pull up that morning and I'm like, get in. And he goes, here's the camera. This is play. This is pause. It's got film in it. I'm like, you're not shooting it? He's like, no, because there's a gun involved. He didn't want.
15:34 Conan O'Brien? Didn't want to be there.
15:35 Speaker 02 Nobody wanted to be there.
15:36 Conan O'Brien? No one wants to be there. Yeah.
15:37 Speaker 02 So that's why the camera works so shaky with that.
15:42 Conan O'Brien? So you start making these things and then you get a chance to make a show for MTV. And I didn't know this, at the same moment that you have this deal to make a show and you're about to make the show. Out of nowhere, you get this offer from Lorne Michaels at Saturday Night Live.
15:59 Speaker 02 Yeah.
15:59 Conan O'Brien? And I never heard that.
16:01 Speaker 02 Nothing was happening in my life like two or three months before, you know, I mean, the wonderful things with the family and the kid, but professionally, nothing. And then it's like, I have a TV show, we're about to shoot the pilot for MTV. And then, like you said, Lorne Michaels comes calling and we go meet at the Polo Lounge. At the Beverly Hills Hotel where Fear and Loathing did begin and it was a lot, you know, because. I had no gigs before this and he's offering me a spot like five minutes on Saturday Night Live each week.
16:34 Conan O'Brien? Not to do characters and things like that.
16:36 Speaker 02 No, to do what I do, like make a video each week. And it was a, I had to, I really seriously considered it, but I ended up. Thinking I would go on there. I'm not going to have any creative control whatsoever. And I'm about to do this other thing with me and my friends. And I'd rather, where I have all the control and I'd rather bet on us than enter into that. And would probably, I'd been lucky to be on Saturday Night Live, but I chose that.
17:03 Conan O'Brien? No, I mean, obviously you sure, you certainly didn't make the, the wrong move there. Um, and you got to be the master. of your own universe by doing jackass as opposed to being a small piece of a show where you have very less sometimes we're not going to air your piece tonight it didn't make it or you know we're going to hold on to that or uh so so that was the right thing to do
17:26 Speaker 02 well I didn't think so when the pilot while we're shooting the pilot it got shut down and I'm the oh man we're canceled it's this is not even making it to the air now
17:35 Conan O'Brien? why was it shut down
17:37 Speaker 02 we were filming a bit uh in west Hollywood at this hardware store which I think is a restaurant now Laurel hardware
17:46 Conan O'Brien? it's both you can get hardware and food
17:48 Speaker 02 oh great great
17:49 Conan O'Brien? I'll have the steak char char and the and the rake I'll have the rake as well
17:55 Speaker 02 and I walked in my face was all dirty in a prison orange jumpsuit and I was handcuffed and I was trying to get them to help me saw the handcuffs off
18:02 Conan O'Brien? right
18:03 Speaker 02 they cleared out the place everyone's scared and I realized at one point I'm out there on the saw section saw and there's no not even my cameraman are around like well shit
18:15 Conan O'Brien? I love that you're you're doing you're committing to the bit and there's no camera
18:19 Speaker 02 at one point I'm sawing and it goes right on my wrist and it was very close to like so then I heard the cops coming I'm like well I better get outside because that's where the cameras are and I I run outside and right as like three or four carloads of cops are pulling up and the first lady on the scene she gets out of her car tells me get on the ground and I abide by what she's saying uh but she didn't put her car in park and it runs right into a telephone telephone pole in front of me and I'm on the ground you can hear me go oh no because now now they're mad
19:04 Speaker 02 MTV couldn't shoot in West Hollywood for over 10 years after that because we didn't have a permit. We didn't know you permitted to shoot these things. You didn't have a permit? We didn't know what a permit was.
19:15 Conan O'Brien? That's so fantastic. You know, you are giving credence to this idea that I've had for a long time, which is that if a camera's going, I will do things that I won't do otherwise. And so, in a Jackass kind of way, I have always, if there's a camera rolling, I'll say, and there's a potential for people to be laughing.
19:40 Speaker 02 Yes.
19:41 Conan O'Brien? And for it to be recorded. I will do things that otherwise I'd say, oh no, I'd rather not. I eat bugs. I, I mean, we'll talk about Fear Factor, but all the stuff you guys do in Fear Factor, I lose common sense if I think there's a potential that people would see it and laugh. And, but you're talking about situations where you're invoking, the police are coming, people have guns.
20:07 Speaker 02 Right.
20:07 Conan O'Brien? And they can very justifiably, let you say, a guy in an orange jumpsuit came running out of the hardware store, and I discharged my weapon. And then it's like, oh, that's too bad for that guy making a pilot.
20:19 Speaker 02 Well, that's what the lady told me afterwards, the female policeman, she goes, if you would have just moved a few inches while you were on the ground, the guy was going to get away, she, I would just put a bullet in your ear. And I'm like, well, I'm glad I kinda just laid there.
20:37 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, yeah.
20:38 Speaker 02 And I said, is this the weirdest call you ever had? And they said, no, one time a guy was on PCP at the top of a palm tree, buck naked, and slid all the way down. Oh shit. Which we tried to convince one of the cast guys to do, but no one was up for it.
20:56 Conan O'Brien? That is either extremely painful or an erotic thrill.
21:00 Speaker 02 No.
21:03 Conan O'Brien? No?
21:03 Speaker 02 No. But the laughter thing you're talking about, I don't know how to write to make, like, wow, what would America thinks funny? That would, that would make me freeze and, but, so with Jackass, if, I only know how to make my friends laugh, and if they're laughing.
21:25 Conan O'Brien? Yes.
21:26 Speaker 02 Probably we're good, but if, if they're not laughing, we're probably shooting again.
21:37 Conan O'Brien? You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?
21:39 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:39 Conan O'Brien? Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.
21:54 Speaker 01 Nice.
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22:03 Speaker 01 I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.
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22:27 Speaker 01 Hello.
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23:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
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23:20 Speaker 01 Oh.
23:20 Conan O'Brien? And I didn't get cash back and I regret it now.
23:24 Speaker 01 Oh, okay. Well, that's a very thoughtful gift.
23:26 Conan O'Brien? Do you wear a wig or is that your hair?
23:28 Speaker 01 Absolutely not. It's definitely my hair. And so it's kind of, it's kind of insulting you would buy that gift for me.
23:33 Conan O'Brien? Well, I'll just return it anyway, but I do wish I got cash back.
23:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
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25:10 Conan O'Brien? There's Jackass itself, then, and it's not always you doing the stunts, obviously. You get your friends so that you can, it seems to me like, distribute the pain and injury. Yes. So that it's, you know, and it's a huge sensation. And then Jackass, the movie. I remembered seeing that and just being, because I remember thinking, how do they do this now? Because, you know, the TV show has so many sort of iconic moments. How do you do a movie? And I thought you guys made great decisions when you made that movie. Oh, thank you. You know, and I don't know, because you upped the ante a little bit, but you also have like, production and, you know what I mean? It's not just the show.
25:55 Conan O'Brien? It's sort of on steroids and more presentational. I don't, what was the thinking behind the movie?
26:00 Speaker 02 Well, the thinking behind the movie was, uh, we did, they called it Three Seasons of Jackass, but it was 24 episodes and over a series of nine, 10 months. And we had unfortunately a couple of copycat incidences. And it was an election year and Joseph Lieberman came down on Hollywood. That was his big platform and me personally in MTV because of that.
26:27 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
26:28 Speaker 02 So it became impossible to do Jackass, right? Uh, we had, uh, all these safety OSHA guys on the set. You can't jump off anything more than four feet. And, and I felt like this doesn't feel right. Uh, what we do is really silly, right? But it, it means something to me. So I'm like, I think this is the end. And so I gave an interview to my hometown newspaper and said, I quit.
26:57 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
26:57 Speaker 02 And everyone was kind of surprised because I just went rogue.
27:02 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
27:03 Speaker 02 So there was a lot of heat back and forth. MTV was upset because I was under contract, yada, yada, yada, a lot of back and forth. Finally, uh, mo- idea for a movie was floated and Jeff and Spike came to me and said, well, how about if we just do a movie instead? I'm like, like the idiot I am, I'm like, who's going to play us?
27:23 Speaker 02 And they're like, no, no.
27:25 Conan O'Brien? You idiot.
27:26 Speaker 02 Yeah, yes.
27:29 Conan O'Brien? Is it a love story?
27:33 Speaker 02 A naughty version of the TV show. I'm like, okay, got it. You know? So that, I was a little confused, as I often am.
27:44 Conan O'Brien? But I felt like, uh, there was a time when South Park made a movie and I thought, well, this, traditionally when TV shows make a movie, for many years, it was the rule that it's a bad idea. You know what I mean?
27:55 Speaker 02 Justin and Kelly?
27:58 Conan O'Brien? Okay. Almost always a bad idea.
28:03 Speaker 01 That's the first one that popped into your head.
28:07 Conan O'Brien? Justin Guarini was just here.
28:09 Speaker 02 I'm not the butcher's guy to come along the block.
28:16 Conan O'Brien? Well, anyway, uh, great pull, by the way.
28:21 Conan O'Brien? But you know, I remember like South Park made a movie and it turned out like, oh, yes. Excellent. And then, uh, and then you guys made a movie and it felt like this time when people were making the right call and it was actually translating. I'm curious, you know, I think about there was whatever 30 years or 28 years there where I was doing a show and always saying yes to things because I thought it would be funny. And I got tossed by a water buffalo once and fell onto, up into the air and fell onto hard concrete and it.
28:53 Speaker 02 Ooh, by a, wow.
28:55 Conan O'Brien? I jumped on a water buffalo when that was not what I was supposed to do. And all my common sense went away and I think about that all the time. Now I'm thinking about your life where you have a montage playing in your head of things you did where probably halfway through you thought, this is a terrible idea, but I'm gonna do it anyway.
29:15 Speaker 02 Well, it's like, this is a terrible idea. I'm so glad I'm doing it. We're about to get footage. And by the way, I've always wanted to get hit by a water buffalo, so I'm envious.
29:28 Speaker 02 I'm sitting there like, oh.
29:32 Conan O'Brien? I'm glad that you look up to me that way.
29:36 Conan O'Brien? So are there things that stand out to you now, um, that you are this silver haired, wise, you know, patrician? Are there things that stand out to you now where you go like, oh my God, that was a terrible idea?
29:51 Speaker 02 I, I don't know.
29:53 Conan O'Brien? Do you have any regrets at all? Like, I wish I hadn't done that one.
29:56 Speaker 02 Well, yeah, I mean, we, we're, we've been going back, looking through some old bits and you're like, oh, that, that, but not like anything for my physical safety, just because, you know, they all can't be hits.
30:12 Speaker 02 So then, then I'm like, oh man, we just, even watching the, the first movie, it's, it's almost first Jackass movie, it's so tame into what it became. And, uh, which, but I don't regret any of that. It's just what it was. And like I'm watching myself do pranks and. I just, I watch it and just go, why did I do that course of action? Why couldn't I have pivoted into the?
30:40 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, we all do that.
30:41 Speaker 02 I just like to beat myself up a little.
30:43 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, we all do that. We all, uh, look at past work we've done and have regrets. But for you, it might be, um, why did I light myself on fire?
30:53 Speaker 02 No, I mean, the toothpaste is out of the tube, Conan. I can't do anything about it now, so I'm all right with everything.
31:00 Conan O'Brien? That's good. Um. Are you in pain? Do you walk around in constant pain?
31:05 Speaker 02 Eh, sometimes, but I'm, I'm not. It's not even a joke. I'm not really in touch with my body.
31:13 Conan O'Brien? Me neither.
31:13 Speaker 02 So I can just kind of deal with whatever.
31:16 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Uh. It's funny you say that because my least favorite question is if I go to a doctor or something and they say, now, how does it feel? And I go, I don't know. I just want to get to the grave.
31:29 Speaker 02 Yeah. You know, like, I hate, I hate when they're telling me, you know, or whatever. You get a massage and they're like, now, how does this feel? And I'm like, I don't know! Leave me alone! I'm trying to get through life! You know what I mean? I have that kind of feeling. And so when you said that, I was electrified.
31:49 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
31:50 Speaker 02 Yeah. It's like, I just, I don't know. I, I did this to myself, so what, what, what am I gonna do?
31:55 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
31:56 Speaker 02 Yeah, I'm not gonna complain to anyone. It's just, that's what it is.
32:00 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, that's true. I hadn't thought of that. Most people that walk around are like, oh, man, my hip. What happened? Oh, you know, just all those years of working at the plant. And for you, it's, well, I strapped myself to a rocket. Yeah. And had it fired into a concrete wall. You know, like Wile E. Coyote.
32:18 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:18 Conan O'Brien? And it's hard to be like, oh, man, that's tough.
32:21 Speaker 02 Yeah, what happened? I know exactly what happened.
32:24 Conan O'Brien? We have footage.
32:25 Speaker 02 We have six cameras.
32:26 Conan O'Brien? I can prove it.
32:30 Conan O'Brien? Wow. Um, yeah, it's, uh, it, it's, I mean, it's incredible. It's so interesting to me, too, that you've referenced Hunter S. Thompson a couple of times, someone's I had the honor of getting to interview, I think, twice, and, and, and your interest early on in writing. Do you know what I mean? These are, I, those are things that I feel very connected to. And Hunter S. Thompson was someone who put his entire, his self and his body and his sanity, he poured it all into his work.
33:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
33:00 Conan O'Brien? And, um, it's, it's fascinating to me that in a way you are in that vein. Do you know what I mean? You're, you're, you're, you're saying, okay, here's my body and I'm gonna put all of it into what I do. And it's gonna go through this, this grinder, but that's, that is my work.
33:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, this is, that was my best guess, you know, honestly. Um, and I love Hunter, you know, I, like, two books kinda changed my life early on, like, on the road.
33:28 Conan O'Brien? Yep.
33:29 Speaker 02 By Jack Kerouac. We were in a bar with my cousin and he hands me the book. I just, I didn't know people lived like that.
33:35 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
33:35 Speaker 02 And it was, you know, I'm from a small town in Tennessee. Everyone lives there, stays there. And, and then I read Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas when I was 19. And I felt like I didn't know anyone could write like this and be so free. And, uh, after that, I, I was useless. You know, it's like my, my path was set, I guess.
34:00 Conan O'Brien? That's so funny. Those are time in your life. I think I had just moved out to LA, 22, and I'm just only reading, um, you know, Fear and Loathing books.
34:09 Speaker 02 Yeah.
34:10 Conan O'Brien? And it just spoke to me. Not that I, in my life, matched that in any way, but it takes you over in a way that, you know, at my age now, I don't know that it would. I'd like it, but it wouldn't, it wouldn't inhabit me the same way.
34:24 Speaker 02 And like, in actuality, if you're living like that, or your friends living like that, it's so fucking exhausting to be around.
34:33 Conan O'Brien? Sure.
34:34 Speaker 02 I've had some friends who are just... I mean, Steve-O, he was off the rails.
34:39 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
34:39 Speaker 02 Just doing the worst drugs you can get your hands on. PCP, uh, those, those nitrous canisters, there would be, it would be a sea of nitrous canisters at his feet and it was exhausting. I mean, he'll tell you it was exhausting, but I mean, now he's like, he's doing great. He's been sober for well over, we put him away in 2008, so 17 years or something.
35:06 Conan O'Brien? That's incredible. Good for him.
35:07 Speaker 02 Yeah. So, I mean, people ask me, well, would you say something about if bravery? I'm like, that's, that's bravery. Like, he has to face that dragon every morning.
35:17 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, yeah.
35:18 Speaker 02 And he does, and he's, he's doing great and I'm really proud of him.
35:21 Conan O'Brien? It is the most impressive thing.
35:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:23 Conan O'Brien? I see people do is, uh, you know, and it's just amazing that you can give yourself another chapter like that where it's like, Steve-O, can I get you anything? Some, uh, maybe, uh, do you have hibiscus tea?
35:35 Speaker 02 It, it takes you four seconds to stand in front of a bull, but he has to do something like this every, he has to face bulls all day long.
35:43 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, yeah. Do you ever get, when you're with all those guys and you guys together are together, do you ever have the thing of, guys, keep it down, you know, you know, it's, it's, it, you know what I mean? We're not that anymore. Keep it down. I, I don't wanna make too much noise tonight or I gotta get to bed. It's 9:15.
36:03 Speaker 02 I don't even, I wouldn't even know how to go about trying to quiet them down.
36:07 Conan O'Brien? You know, it's just. You can try.
36:11 Speaker 02 Tranquilize them down.
36:12 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I think, uh, I think everyone becomes worse in those situations if someone tries to, I don't think I ever do that. Well, here we go. Though we get that, when the cameras are off, especially early on, it was way worse than when the cameras are on.
36:27 Speaker 02 Is that true?
36:27 Conan O'Brien? Oh, it was, yeah. Very, they're very excitable.
36:34 Conan O'Brien? It's like you're talking about gremlins or don't get them wet, you know?
36:40 Speaker 02 Yeah, don't get them wet with whiskey because they're very excitable.
36:46 Conan O'Brien? It's funny you brought up safety coordinators or people that are there to make sure that everyone's behaving properly. Yeah, the times that I've been on a set where I had to do the most tame thing, literally the most tame thing, like go through the ceiling of the show The Office and land, land on a desk that's just like three feet below me, on Dwight Schrute's desk. And just, it's just like a little drop down. And at the time I'm doing it, I'm 40 and I'm just throwing myself around all the time because I'm a big kid. And someone's there like, let's talk. This is, let's walk through this. Now, we're going to hold your body in six different places. And slowly, yeah.
37:33 Conan O'Brien? You gotta buy me dinner first.
37:36 Conan O'Brien? And then they're gonna slowly, and then we've made the desk out of a special foam. And I'm like, guys, I, I grew up in a big family. And all we did was toss each other off of staircases. And that is my way of, you know, most times I have a comedy idea, the first thing I want to do is pretend to punch somebody and then I'm thrown through a glass window. It's, I like that kind of stuff. And I think I, I am not body aware in the way that I'm, I'm going to do something still at some point. Because I just think I'm having fun and I'm being funny and I'm goofing around and I'm going to forget that I'm 85 years old. Is, are you guys picking, are you auditioning for the new Jackass movie? Well, I have to say, I am.
38:21 Conan O'Brien? You know what? I would. Yeah, I would do it. But it's just him falling out of bed. No, I think I would do, yeah. Yes. A big stunt for me is behaving myself in a crowded theater. No, I swear to God, there is a wish fulfillment with me. That's why I'm, I get so excited. And I used to, I'm obviously a big fan of yours and the stuff that you guys Doing and there was, there's always been part of me. It's funny to me. It's the yin and the yang. I am very cerebral and cautious and all of those things. And then there's the flip side of it where I kind of like it where I'm not in control. It's a relief from the other guy.
39:00 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm cautious with my kids, right? I'm like, oh, but.
39:06 Conan O'Brien? That's so funny.
39:06 Speaker 02 I was never, I was like a hell, I'm a total helicopter parent when they were little. Like I'm the guy underneath the.
39:13 Conan O'Brien? That's hilarious. Monkey bars trying to like make sure they don't fall. Just you lecturing at nineteen year olds. Now listen. I want you to have your heads strapped on right tonight. And you have like a, you have an and iron sticking through your skull.
39:31 Speaker 02 A bicycle? Are you kidding me?
39:33 Conan O'Brien? A bicycle? No way. You're gonna wear seven helmets. I love all of that. That's fantastic.
39:40 Speaker 06 I know, I do too.
39:41 Conan O'Brien? Well, I, you know, I want to tell you, we had, um, uh, they let me watch the new Fear Factor. They gave us a link to it and I was really enjoying it. And I have to say, um, getting you as the host was a, was a stroke of genius on somebody's part.
39:57 Speaker 02 Yes, I'm, I'm very happy. I had a lot of fun, but uh. Cause I mean, it's not too much of a pivot from what Jackass was, except if I can't go at these people like I do my.
40:08 Conan O'Brien? You're dealing with civilians here.
40:10 Speaker 02 Yes.
40:10 Conan O'Brien? And these people have pride. A sense of, a sense of self-esteem.
40:18 Conan O'Brien? They want to live in society. They, they can use tools to make other tools. They hunt and gather. Walk on their hind legs.
40:32 Conan O'Brien? They wish to procreate. Yeah. So, um, they, uh, no, it's, it's, it's fun because I also love that you get to be around it and it's, it's really fun that they're doing all of this stuff. And you're there wearing, uh, one of these fantastic like polo sweaters.
40:51 Speaker 02 Oh, thank you. My wife was my costumer, Emily. So thank you.
40:55 Conan O'Brien? It's, but you're always there like, ah, ha, ha, ha, enjoy. And you become the Ricardo Montalban on Fantasy Island. It's like. You don't have to break a sweat. And you're like, all of you, get into the giant meat grinder. And you're there, you know what I mean?
41:11 Speaker 02 You've earned it.
41:11 Conan O'Brien? And it feels like you've really earned the right to be that guy.
41:14 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's fun, like, uh, you know, I, when people, uh, display fear in an entertaining manner, I'm, I'm here for it.
41:26 Speaker 02 And I thought I was going, I first got the gig, I'm like, oh, man, I'm really going to make their life hell.
41:32 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
41:32 Speaker 02 And I got excited and that's never good. But then as I got closer, I'm like, well, these kind, these are, these, they're different. Uh, you know, and there's money at stake and they're trying, these people actually do have phobias.
41:46 Conan O'Brien? Yep.
41:47 Speaker 02 So I, I was like, maybe I'm, I just felt more natural to kind of help them through it.
41:53 Conan O'Brien? Right.
41:53 Speaker 02 But I still gave them hell. But mostly I, I, I like, I enjoyed both things.
41:57 Conan O'Brien? It sounds to me like you've started to develop empathy.
42:03 Speaker 02 I did, I even teared up a couple of times in the show. It's like, cause you see these reality shows and people are, they cry, I'm like, everyone's fine. What are you crying about? You just met this person.
42:14 Conan O'Brien? I can't feel my legs and you're crying.
42:16 Speaker 02 Four days ago. But then a few people left the show, I'm like, I don't know, I, I spent too much time around my mother, I'm.
42:24 Conan O'Brien? That's very, well, I'm curious if, do you ever get asked to like come back and speak at your high school or something and it's, do you know what I mean? Cause it's a strange thing to get, you know, because you've been extremely successful and iconic and now, um, we'd like you to speak to these young people. Like an anti-valedictorian? Yeah, exactly. Do as I did. Here's what I find worse. Screw college. Don't go to college. Fire a nail gun into your anus.
42:56 Speaker 02 Hey, that's not half bad.
42:57 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, that's good. Oh, I could be a writer. If you, if you guys won't let me be in the new Jackass movie. Oh, we'll let you. I will be a writer. Has anyone ever? Oh, God. Fired hot lava? Into their urethra? Lava from Mount Etna.
43:17 Conan O'Brien? You guys are like, Conan, no, it wouldn't work. It would evaporate the tissue around it.
43:21 Speaker 02 Okay, I'll keep working on it.
43:23 Conan O'Brien? Oh, yeah.
43:23 Speaker 02 I come in with really giant glasses. I'll keep working. Conan, I'm just spitballing here, but...
43:31 Speaker 02 No, I have never been invited to speak before, uh...
43:34 Conan O'Brien? I love that.
43:35 Speaker 02 High school, college, or...
43:36 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
43:37 Speaker 02 You know, and I don't blame them.
43:39 Conan O'Brien? No, no, no. Well, I think you'd be a great... They should. They should. They're missing out on a great speech. So, I also was telling you, I'm obsessed with the new Fear Factor house. Because there's... Reality shows always take place in a house. It's always a similar-looking house. I don't care. This house is a house that's absolutely stunning, and it looks like the richest man in the world lives there, and he's got taste. It's like beautiful. This house is... Where is it?
44:06 Speaker 02 It's in, uh, West Vancouver. It is a beautiful place.
44:11 Conan O'Brien? They have all these shots of it, and I just keep thinking about, I want to be on the show as a contestant, because I really want to try this lava thing.
44:20 Speaker 07 You can do that on your own.
44:21 Conan O'Brien? I know, and I... And trust me, I have. It's getting the lava hot enough. It's a problem. But I also, I just, I love that house.
44:30 Speaker 07 Well, they do Celebrity Jeopardy. What about some Celebrity Fear Factor at some point, you know?
44:34 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
44:35 Speaker 02 I'd love that.
44:35 Speaker 07 Yeah.
44:36 Conan O'Brien? Dame Judi Dench getting shot out of a cannon.
44:42 Speaker 02 You know? I was trying to convince, uh, the show Traitors. I'm like, we should have a jackass Traitors. Because all the things that you need to possess to be good in that show, none of us have. And we'll be physically attacking each other. We can be pranking.
45:05 Conan O'Brien? I love that, that you go into a show where there's strategy and psychology, but you just start firing nail guns.
45:14 Speaker 02 No one's gonna wanna walk down to breakfast and open the door.
45:17 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
45:17 Speaker 02 You know, you know what, no one's gonna wanna touch the door handle. It's, uh...
45:24 Conan O'Brien? The genius behind, I mean, Alan Cumming, watching Alan Cumming say murder.
45:29 Speaker 02 Yeah.
45:29 Conan O'Brien? Is the whole, I watched that show just for, his costumes are fantastic.
45:35 Speaker 02 Oh, yes.
45:35 Conan O'Brien? And then, but no, you, Fear Factor coming into other shows.
45:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
45:40 Conan O'Brien? And I think, you know, like Password, um, you know, just...
45:43 Speaker 02 Just like it.
45:44 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
45:45 Speaker 02 Yeah.
45:45 Conan O'Brien? No, Jeopardy.
45:46 Speaker 02 Yeah.
45:47 Conan O'Brien? You know, just shows where it's very intelligent shows, where people have to kind of use their streets, their knowledge. But you guys are just smashing everything.
45:56 Speaker 02 You could really amp it up for the celebrity Fear Factor 2, because these people know what they're getting into and they're in the business. So just hand me a pen and a piece of paper and, yeah, I can, that would be fun, just writing bits.
46:10 Conan O'Brien? Okay, I will, uh, I'll produce this with you.
46:13 Speaker 02 Yes, yes.
46:14 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. I'll take very little money, and by very little, I mean 80%.
46:17 Speaker 02 Yes.
46:18 Conan O'Brien? Um, that'll be my biggest stunt. That's kidding. He's doing a Fear Factor show with you and getting most of the money.
46:27 Conan O'Brien? That'll be, that'll be a pain like, unlike anything you've ever felt before.
46:30 Speaker 02 Well, that may come at a price.
46:35 Speaker 02 No, I don't target, I, I can only target my, the jackass guys, it's...
46:40 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a trust, obviously, there's such a trust and there's real friendship there.
46:46 Speaker 02 I've had, I, in a couple of times that I've targeted a friend that was not part of, in a civilian, we'll say. And it just hurt his feelings and I'm like, oh, I'm never gonna do that again.
47:01 Conan O'Brien? Isn't that the worst?
47:02 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's, yeah, that was...
47:04 Conan O'Brien? It is interesting you bring that up because they always say it's always, uh, you know, it's funny until someone gets hurt. And I always think, it's actually when someone's feelings get hurt.
47:14 Speaker 02 Yeah.
47:14 Conan O'Brien? I, this, the bottom falls out for me. If, if, unless the person is pure evil and, and deserves to have a hurt feeling. But other than that, the times I've done, anytime I've done something and it got back to me, oh no, someone heard that joke and they were sad, I'm like, oh. Oh, man, that's the worst.
47:33 Speaker 02 It sucks the air out of the room. And then you feel, I just like, I'm a monster. And it was, I was doing things that not even like one tenth of what I do to the guys. But still, I was like, okay, I'm not gonna target anyone else, just. I can, you know, save it for my fellas and, and now Rachel Wolfson.
47:51 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. When is the next movie coming out?
47:53 Speaker 02 Uh, June 26th.
47:55 Conan O'Brien? Okay.
47:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
47:56 Conan O'Brien? And, uh, are you doing any stunts in the new one? Or do they cut to a dummy?
48:00 Speaker 02 Well, I mean, they always cut to a dummy.
48:05 Speaker 02 I can, I can do stunts. I just can't do anything where I get another concussion because I've.
48:11 Conan O'Brien? How many have you had?
48:12 Speaker 02 16. So.
48:14 Conan O'Brien? Do you know who I am right now?
48:15 Speaker 02 Yes, Andy.
48:20 Speaker 02 I don't care about a broken arm or ankle, but I just like can't have any more concussions.
48:25 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, yeah, I think that's a wise course of action.
48:28 Speaker 02 And I feel like I, I did my thing. I, I don't feel like I'm, uh, missing anything, so, uh.
48:34 Conan O'Brien? That's good.
48:35 Speaker 02 Yeah.
48:35 Conan O'Brien? I mean, if I saw you in the shower, I wouldn't be horrified. There's not.
48:38 Speaker 02 Well, I think you probably would be.
48:42 Speaker 02 My God. I didn't know it could be so small.
48:54 Conan O'Brien? There's just like a big piece of torso missing and you don't even notice it any. You keep like little knickknacks in there. You keep Hummel figurines and a little alarm clock in there.
49:04 Speaker 02 Pull my arm off to get my back.
49:07 Speaker 02 Hey, Conan, hey, thanks a lot. Hey, this thing's great. I love it.
49:14 Conan O'Brien? So what is your now commitment to the Fear Factor show? You just, uh, you're waiting to see?
49:18 Speaker 02 Yeah, I guess it comes out tomorrow.
49:20 Conan O'Brien? Tomorrow?
49:21 Speaker 02 14th, yeah, the premiere.
49:23 Conan O'Brien? It's really fun.
49:23 Speaker 02 Thank you. And yeah, I'm, I'm hoping, I, I had so much fun. I'm hoping they pick it up, so. It seemed to do good on the sneak preview on Sunday.
49:32 Conan O'Brien? The only thing that, there's a lot of stuff that doesn't, that I don't worry about, but, um, insects creep me out. You know, and I don't think I have a phobia about it, but I just always, a hairy spider to me is like the worst thing in the world, like a tarantula. So, uh, uh, an arachnid that has hair creeps me out. Uh, and the idea of, but then again, if I was on camera and there was a studio audience there and people were laughing and I knew they'd really laugh. If I went for it, I'd pick one up and start licking it as it stung my tongue and filled me with a heart paralyzing venom.
50:13 Conan O'Brien? And I'd look to Karen and go daddy likes his gum gum juice and then I would die, you know?
50:21 Speaker 02 The thing about those hairy spiders is the hair gets in your eyes and it feels like asbestos.
50:28 Conan O'Brien? I think you're talking from experience.
50:30 Speaker 02 No, it's, it's, you just can't get it, it just itches, it can't get it, uh, it can't get it off of you.
50:36 Conan O'Brien? That's funny. I can bring up anything to you and you're like, here's the thing about a rhino horn in your ass. It's funny. You don't know is there's a, the horn is kind of waxy and then you can't get the wax out of your ass. Like anything I bring up, you're gonna go, you know, it's funny.
50:55 Speaker 02 The bull's horns are very dirty and that's when people get gored before penicillin. That was kind of it for them. But now they have penicillin, you can get gored pretty much all you want. Do you ever?
51:07 Speaker 02 There's one matador, I don't, I can't remember his name. He's been gored like 63 times. It's crazy.
51:17 Conan O'Brien? When he gets a drink at a bar, all this.
51:22 Conan O'Brien? Oldest bit in the world, but I love it. I'm fine. Look, look, look.
51:28 Speaker 02 He's my favorite matador, hands down.
51:31 Conan O'Brien? But you know, it's funny. I think of a, a germophobic matador is a really funny idea. He's like, he's, he doesn't mind getting gored, but he keeps trying to use a wet wipe on the horn.
51:43 Conan O'Brien? His cape is a big wet wipe.
51:48 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, it's like, it's kinda less cool, Diego. I don't care.
51:54 Speaker 02 You gotta wipe the bull's horns and hooves before he gets in the ring with them.
51:58 Conan O'Brien? Well, this has been a blast. It's been really fun.
52:00 Speaker 02 Thank you.
52:01 Conan O'Brien? And I really enjoy you on the new Fear Factor, and I just love talking to you.
52:06 Speaker 02 Thank you.
52:06 Conan O'Brien? You are just an infinitely charming fellow. And, and congrats on the new movie coming out and that you're thriving. It's just really, and that you're well, you're happy, you're here.
52:19 Speaker 02 Yeah.
52:20 Conan O'Brien? You're able to move about.
52:21 Speaker 02 Oh, yes. I, yeah, after I finished The Last Jackass, I was just, I was so happy, like, I'm still walking. I'm good.
52:27 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
52:28 Speaker 02 So, uh, but thank you. You've always been so kind to me.
52:31 Conan O'Brien? Oh, my God, you're kidding?
52:32 Speaker 02 I just, I'm a, I'm a big fan, and thanks so much for doing it. I really appreciate it. Oh, one last, you were talking about all these safety guys.
52:42 Speaker 02 When you're shooting something, you gotta get really shady, safety guys.
52:48 Speaker 02 Our safety guys are the shady. It's just a little tip before I go.
52:52 Conan O'Brien? So, there's no union?
52:53 Speaker 02 Oh, no. But like our alligator expert Manny, who dives in swamps at night with the miner's light and pulls alligators up from the bottom.
53:04 Conan O'Brien? Jesus.
53:04 Speaker 02 He's a wonderful man. He is Tarzan. But he's our safety guy when we work with alligators. And so, you know, you filmed those safety meetings before, and they're like, okay, Manny,
53:16 Speaker 02 tell us, what's the plan here? He goes, well, uh, Steve-O will be in there with an alligator, and if the alligator bites him, hopefully he will let go.
53:27 Speaker 02 All right, let's shoot.
53:31 Conan O'Brien? So that's good.
53:32 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:32 Conan O'Brien? You need a very shady
53:34 Speaker 02 Yeah.
53:35 Conan O'Brien? safety guy who probably wasn't a safety guy a month ago.
53:41 Speaker 02 You need a pretty good safety guy.
53:51 Conan O'Brien? You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?
53:54 Speaker 01 Yeah, I love awards.
53:54 Conan O'Brien? Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.
54:08 Speaker 01 Nice.
54:09 Conan O'Brien? Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.
54:17 Speaker 01 I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.
54:22 Conan O'Brien? I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?
54:41 Speaker 01 Hello!
54:42 Conan O'Brien? They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality innovation technology and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.
55:16 Conan O'Brien? Owning a car or home comes with responsibilities. Sure, it's fun, but sometimes it makes you wonder why you ever longed for adulthood in the first place. I do that all the time. I'm like, oh, these bills, these bills. What am I gonna do?
55:28 Speaker 01 Yeah.
55:28 Conan O'Brien? You know, when you own a house, you gotta fix it yourself. Sona, you see this to be true, right?
55:32 Speaker 01 Yeah, your garage door breaks and you're like, well, I have to fix it.
55:36 Conan O'Brien? Probably at first you said, hey, I'll get the super to fix it. It's your house, dude.
55:39 Speaker 01 It's mine, dude!
55:40 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance to save you money. In fact, they work overtime to tailor your insurance policy around what you actually need. The only thing they can't do is get that Liberty, Liberty, Liberty, Liberty jingle out of your head.
55:53 Speaker 01 Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.
55:54 Conan O'Brien? It's in my head all the time.
55:56 Speaker 01 Yeah, me too.
55:57 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Start your quote at libertymutual.com.
56:03 Conan O'Brien? Coca-Cola Zero Sugar is so good. It's almost impossible not to finish it before the meal arrives. It's just too good to wait. That happens to me sometimes.
56:11 Speaker 01 Me too.
56:12 Conan O'Brien? You can try rules like no sipping until the appetizer arrives, or you tell your friend, "Don't let me touch my glass." But every time you're staring at an empty glass. So if you've ever finished your Coke Zero before the first fry hits the table, you're among friends. It happens. Occupational hazard with Coke Zero.
56:29 Speaker 01 Yeah.
56:30 Conan O'Brien? Real Coca-Cola taste, zero sugar, too good to wait. Enjoy an ice cold Coca-Cola Zero Sugar today.
56:43 Conan O'Brien? Okay, I am sitting here with Sona Mufassian.
56:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
56:48 Conan O'Brien? And normally now I'd say Matt Gourley, but he is out on maternity leave.
56:53 Speaker 01 Paternity. He's a guy, he's a, he's a man.
56:56 Conan O'Brien? I don't, I'm gonna stick with what I said.
56:58 Speaker 01 Oh, you're gonna, you're gonna double down on it?
57:00 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, yeah, he's on maternity leave, trust me. He got his knickers in a twist. He's out, he had a beautiful baby girl.
57:09 Speaker 01 Yes.
57:09 Conan O'Brien? Now, and very happy for him. Filling in for him is David Hopping. Now, this is a rare occasion where both of my assistants are sitting here with me. You've got Sona, assistant since 2009.
57:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
57:23 Conan O'Brien? And David Hopping, when did you really take over as my full-time assistant? When 2021?
57:28 Speaker 01 2021, when the boys were born.
57:30 Conan O'Brien? That's right. Okay, so you've both assisted me, and I thought this is a great time to ask you guys some pretty blunt questions. And you have to be honest. No, seriously, you have to be honest. Okay?
57:43 Speaker 01 You mean, we don't have to try to protect your feelings?
57:45 Conan O'Brien? No, just go for it.
57:46 Speaker 01 Because we try that all the time.
57:47 Conan O'Brien? No, no, no, I wanna, I think this is a good chance to know more about me. I am not in the least bit defensive, I'm an open book. This is gonna be fun.
57:55 Speaker 01 Yeah, okay.
57:55 Conan O'Brien? Can this be like a 30-minute segment? I'm curious. Sona, what was your least favorite thing to do for me?
58:00 Speaker 01 Whoa. The least favorite thing to do.
58:04 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, the thing that when I asked you to do it, you really hated it.
58:06 Speaker 01 Apologize? Is that one? Can I say apologize?
58:09 Conan O'Brien? Meaning when you would.
58:09 Speaker 01 When I messed up and you were just like, can you just feel bad about not doing something?
58:13 Conan O'Brien? Cause you wouldn't do it.
58:14 Speaker 01 I know, that's your thing. But no, I think.
58:16 Conan O'Brien? No, wait, well, say you, you screwed something up, which didn't happen a lot. I mean.
58:21 Speaker 01 It did, we made jokes, but I got things done.
58:23 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, you got things done.
58:25 Speaker 01 Yeah.
58:25 Conan O'Brien? But when things would go terribly wrong, uh, and I would say, oh, come on, Sona. You'd say, yep, that happened. And you would just plow ahead.
58:34 Speaker 01 Alright.
58:34 Conan O'Brien? And so I would sometimes, I'm just being honest, I would try to get you to apologize or say you feel badly about it and you wouldn't.
58:40 Speaker 01 I know, I know. Okay, here's, you know what?
58:42 Conan O'Brien? So that's, that's a good answer.
58:43 Speaker 01 That, okay, so, but also, I'm trying to think of things I did regularly.
58:48 Conan O'Brien? Mm-hmm.
58:48 Speaker 01 That I was just like, every time you would ask me to do it, I'd be like, oh, God.
58:51 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
58:52 Speaker 01 And you know what? Honestly, I can't think of anything where I might need some time with it, cause.
58:56 Conan O'Brien? You liked shaving my back?
58:57 Speaker 01 Oh, God.
58:59 Conan O'Brien? You enjoyed that?
59:00 Speaker 01 Oh, God.
59:01 Conan O'Brien? Cause I didn't think you would.
59:02 Speaker 01 Don't put that out there. I don't want people to think that was gonna hap, would ever happen.
59:07 Conan O'Brien? You had the longest shaver in the world. She was on the end of a pole.
59:10 Speaker 03 Like back?
59:11 Conan O'Brien? Oh, yeah. She would be maybe 35 yards away from me.
59:14 Speaker 03 Like those gripper things?
59:16 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. I was horribly cut up whenever you would do that, cause you were often on your phone while you were doing it.
59:22 Speaker 01 I know, I think that you, you're not a very high maintenance person.
59:25 Conan O'Brien? I don't think so.
59:26 Speaker 01 I don't think you're high maintenance.
59:27 Conan O'Brien? But now we switch it over to, David, what do you not like to do for me? Or it's kind of a drag.
59:33 Speaker 03 Um.
59:34 Conan O'Brien? Be honest.
59:35 Speaker 03 I mean, let's see. Where do I start? No.
59:40 Speaker 01 I think, you know what? I, sorry, I just remembered, and I don't know if you have this too, there's times when there's something you ask us to do that we, I think we know you can just do on your own.
59:49 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
59:50 Speaker 01 And then, I lived in Pasadena and you'd be like, can you just come to my house at nine in the morning to help me with this thing? And I'd be like, you know how to do that.
1:00:00 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
1:00:00 Speaker 01 But now I have to be in traffic for like an hour and a half.
1:00:02 Conan O'Brien? It was usually, how do I read my email?
1:00:05 Speaker 03 Uh-huh. Or how do I get into Netflix?
1:00:07 Speaker 01 Yes!
1:00:08 Speaker 03 You can never get into Netflix?
1:00:10 Conan O'Brien? Now, in my defense.
1:00:13 Conan O'Brien? In my defense, it's very hard to get onto Netflix.
1:00:15 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:00:16 Conan O'Brien? I mean, next to impossible. You have to be a brain surgeon.
1:00:20 Speaker 03 Although I do want to say, I think I got hired because of things Sona didn't want to do, like running the errands and things is why I even got a job.
1:00:27 Speaker 01 That's true. That's true. Yeah, that's actually true.
1:00:29 Conan O'Brien? My various creams and balms, ointments and salves.
1:00:31 Speaker 03 So many creams.
1:00:32 Conan O'Brien? And balms.
1:00:32 Speaker 03 And balms.
1:00:33 Conan O'Brien? Salves.
1:00:35 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:00:35 Conan O'Brien? Immolants.
1:00:36 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:00:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:00:37 Conan O'Brien? Uh, gels.
1:00:37 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:00:38 Speaker 03 So I'm grateful for that.
1:00:39 Speaker 01 I know, and it was job security. Like, you know.
1:00:42 Speaker 03 When do I get one?
1:00:44 Speaker 01 No, an assistant. That's right.
1:00:46 Speaker 03 When do I get an assistant?
1:00:47 Conan O'Brien? Oh my god, when you have an assistant, that is the end.
1:00:49 Speaker 03 I'm gonna start a nationwide search.
1:00:50 Conan O'Brien? That is the end of days. Um, I think, yes, the tech stuff. I'm constantly, I don't belong, I should not be living in this century. I'm, I'm, it's like I'm, I'm a, I'm an 18th or 19th century man. I, I, I think I would have been uncomfortable in the 19th century. Cause they'd be like, hey, can you pull that crank and make that steam powered thing work? I cannot do it, sir.
1:01:13 Speaker 03 We'd have to drive to you.
1:01:14 Conan O'Brien? 'Tis witchcraft. Talk to my assistant into Pasadena. Pasadena? No one lives there. Uh, that's not inhabited yet.
1:01:24 Speaker 01 Oh my god.
1:01:24 Conan O'Brien? Look, in my defense, uh, I abhor technology.
1:01:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:01:30 Conan O'Brien? And, and so, um, yes, I think that's probably the worst is when I call you up and say, I don't know how to take a picture with my phone.
1:01:40 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:01:40 Conan O'Brien? And then send it to someone. It's not that bad.
1:01:43 Speaker 01 Which you've done a million, but sometimes you're in your head so much about something you have to do, that you do forget very basic things.
1:01:50 Conan O'Brien? This, this is something that Sona was really on top of. She would always say, I'd call her up, and I don't think, to be fair, I don't think I would make you drive from Pasadena to my house.
1:02:02 Speaker 01 You didn't do it often, but there were times when, you know, I would, I'd have to be there, and it's my job.
1:02:07 Conan O'Brien? I didn't know when I was making a sandwich if the bread goes on top.
1:02:11 Speaker 01 You forgot how a sandwich works?
1:02:12 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, and I needed you to be here to show me, so I was like, get here, fast.
1:02:17 Speaker 01 Well, yeah, and also I liked going to your house. It's, it's fun there.
1:02:21 Conan O'Brien? It's pretty nice.
1:02:22 Speaker 01 Yeah, it is.
1:02:22 Conan O'Brien? All those portraits of me, um, the statues in the yard.
1:02:26 Speaker 01 Yeah, I loved seeing that stuff.
1:02:27 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, me on horseback, naked, uh.
1:02:29 Speaker 01 Oh, god.
1:02:32 Conan O'Brien? Uh, I'd say shave the back of my statue.
1:02:36 Conan O'Brien? So, you know, you know what's so crazy is that, uh, the, I would call you, Sona, and I would say, "I can't do this," and you would say, "Yes, you can. You have a phobia about it."
1:02:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:02:47 Conan O'Brien? But it's very intuitive, and you would coach me, and I would realize that I'm very tech-phobic. And I will think, "I can't do this. This isn't something I could ever figure out in a million years." And because of you, I do try a lot now. Before I call anybody, I try to see if I could figure it out.
1:03:05 Speaker 01 Yes.
1:03:05 Conan O'Brien? And then when blue foam starts coming out of my device, I know it's time to get David on the horn.
1:03:10 Speaker 03 I'm really proud of you. He learned how to put things in his calendar on his own.
1:03:14 Speaker 01 Oh, hey, you're doing it.
1:03:17 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
1:03:17 Speaker 01 Oh, good job, bud.
1:03:19 Conan O'Brien? It's like we're talking about a one-legged turtle.
1:03:22 Speaker 03 That one-legged turtle, he learned how to make a poopy. Good for you, Mr. Gibbles.
1:03:30 Conan O'Brien? I'll take it. All right. This is a serious question.
1:03:33 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:03:34 Conan O'Brien? Would you, uh, if my life was in danger, would you put yourself between me and the danger? Sona?
1:03:41 Speaker 01 You know what? Um, like, would I sacrifice myself for you?
1:03:46 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Would you sacrifice your life for mine?
1:03:49 Speaker 01 I probably would have before I had kids. Now I won't. Now, but I honestly, there were-
1:03:54 Conan O'Brien? You're fired.
1:03:54 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:03:56 Conan O'Brien? No, but I mean, I was gonna say, that's crazy.
1:03:59 Speaker 01 Well, no, but also-
1:04:00 Conan O'Brien? You shouldn't even, what do you mean, "before I had kids"?
1:04:02 Speaker 01 I know. I'm not, I'm not like Secret Service. I'm gonna jump in front of a bullet for you.
1:04:06 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
1:04:06 Speaker 01 But I think that I would have, I, I, I think that the, and I don't know if you feel this too, the need to protect you and make sure you are good-
1:04:15 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
1:04:16 Speaker 01 Is more so within the two of us than it is in a lot of people.
1:04:20 Conan O'Brien? Yes. And I give you a lot of credit for that because, all joking aside, there were times- When I was on tour in 2010, I remember, I think I was in Eugene, Oregon, and we did a show. And afterwards, I said, hey, everybody meet me at this, like, there was a sculpture or something of a big red wagon. Yeah. I said, everybody meet me there. And I really went there because I wanted to be kind of like an Andy Kaufman happening. And there was a huge crowd there and you were with me, but then it was just so many people. You got sucked into this crowd. Sucked into this massive crowd. And then I saw you later back at the hotel and you were freaked out and you were mad at me. You were like, I didn't know how to protect you. And I said, you don't, that's not your job. Yeah. In those situations. Yeah.
1:05:02 Conan O'Brien? I, I know, but I'm, that's my job in those situations. That's true. But you're very, yeah, you've always, look, all joking aside, I love you and you've always been, you're, you take really good care of me. Yeah. David, not so much.
1:05:17 Speaker 03 Ah, there it is.
1:05:19 Conan O'Brien? Here we go.
1:05:20 Speaker 03 Hey, we were in New York and you cut your head open.
1:05:22 Conan O'Brien? Excuse me, are you filing, what are you doing back?
1:05:24 Speaker 05 Oh, I'm sorry.
1:05:25 Conan O'Brien? If I, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck are you doing?
1:05:28 Speaker 05 I'm getting, I'm getting all the, I'm getting all the ads ready.
1:05:30 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, can you not do that right now?
1:05:32 Speaker 05 Yes, yes, I'm sorry.
1:05:33 Conan O'Brien? Okay, I keep trying to remove paper from people.
1:05:35 Speaker 05 I'm sorry.
1:05:36 Conan O'Brien? Gourley was doing it the other day and now you are, I think you're putting your thesis together.
1:05:40 Speaker 05 I, I.
1:05:41 Conan O'Brien? I didn't realize you were at Princeton.
1:05:42 Speaker 05 I should have done this outside the studio.
1:05:43 Conan O'Brien? Would you drop it on the floor right now? Drop it. God damn.
1:05:47 Speaker 05 Sorry about that.
1:05:48 Conan O'Brien? I'm looking, I'm trying to talk to you guys and he's over here.
1:05:51 Speaker 05 I'm sorry.
1:05:52 Speaker 03 He's not gonna jump in front of a bullet for you.
1:05:54 Conan O'Brien? I, guess what? I wish you would. Because I'm hiring that guy now. He's the one who's gonna shoot you. Yeah. Yeah.
1:06:03 Speaker 05 It's gonna be the bullet that you shoot.
1:06:05 Conan O'Brien? I want you to shoot me and jump in front of that bullet and all your papers will go flying.
1:06:08 Speaker 05 I'm on it, I'm on it.
1:06:09 Conan O'Brien? Okay, here we go. Oh my god.
1:06:11 Speaker 05 David was saying when, when.
1:06:11 Conan O'Brien? David, go ahead.
1:06:12 Speaker 03 Oh no, I was gonna say, we were in New York at like one or two trips ago and you, I get a text from Liza that you cut your head open.
1:06:18 Conan O'Brien? Mm-hmm.
1:06:19 Speaker 03 And I ran to a CVS and got you all the medicine, all the Band-Aids.
1:06:23 Conan O'Brien? You did.
1:06:23 Speaker 03 And.
1:06:24 Conan O'Brien? You did.
1:06:24 Speaker 03 So that's, I don't know where I'm going with that.
1:06:26 Conan O'Brien? I knew what I did. Yeah, I walked into like a low hanging lamp.
1:06:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:06:30 Conan O'Brien? Cause I'm a freak.
1:06:31 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:06:31 Conan O'Brien? Uh.
1:06:32 Speaker 03 It's not meant for people of your height?
1:06:34 Conan O'Brien? No, they like hung a lamp and they thought, don't worry. Ninety nine point nine percent of the people won't hit this lamp with the rusty corner.
1:06:42 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:06:43 Conan O'Brien? Uh, yeah, I slammed into it and there was blood shooting everywhere.
1:06:46 Speaker 03 It was like bruised.
1:06:47 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, yeah. But you, you did go get a bunch of pulses.
1:06:51 Speaker 03 I got everything CBS had.
1:06:53 Conan O'Brien? Treatments, herbs, remedies. It was, uh, but would you, let's say the moment comes down to it and it's my life for yours. Would you make the ultimate sacrifice?
1:07:03 Speaker 01 This is a crazy question.
1:07:05 Conan O'Brien? It's, you know what?
1:07:06 Speaker 01 Huh?
1:07:06 Conan O'Brien? This should have been in the interview.
1:07:09 Conan O'Brien? Would you?
1:07:11 Speaker 03 I think that we really won't know until it happens.
1:07:14 Speaker 01 Okay, yeah, that's a good answer.
1:07:16 Speaker 03 It'll be a game time decision.
1:07:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:07:17 Conan O'Brien? You just gave me your answer.
1:07:21 Conan O'Brien? What cafe are both of you working at?
1:07:23 Speaker 01 Yeah, you know what? I think one of, we do need to stay behind to let Liza know you died.
1:07:29 Speaker 03 Yeah.
1:07:30 Conan O'Brien? This is so dark, but you're right.
1:07:32 Speaker 01 Yes, I mean, you know, how's she gonna know?
1:07:34 Conan O'Brien? And you know what? You'll both be chomping on sandwiches when you call her. Anyway, yeah, he didn't make it. But it's really bad. And no, no, no, no, I want hummus on the side.
1:07:45 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:07:46 Conan O'Brien? Hummus, hummus. I said it correctly.
1:07:49 Speaker 01 I, but why, why is it always hummus?
1:07:51 Conan O'Brien? You eat a lot of hummus.
1:07:52 Speaker 01 I do like, I do like it.
1:07:54 Conan O'Brien? I mean, sometimes you don't even have hummus, but you have it in your pockets.
1:07:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
1:07:57 Conan O'Brien? You have hummus on you at all times.
1:07:59 Speaker 01 I wish, I really wish. I wish it was like a bowl and I was just dipping pita chips in it all the time.
1:08:05 Conan O'Brien? Uh, listen, I, uh, you, you guys are both fantastic. I will say that, I'll deny it. I'm glad this isn't being recorded.
1:08:13 Speaker 01 Oh.
1:08:13 Conan O'Brien? You're both fantastic. Oh, why are we recording these? And let's get back to Blaze shuffling papers noisily off camera. So that my ads are in the right order when I read them 20 minutes after we end this recording. Uh, incredible. Thanks, both of you. Godspeed.
1:08:33 Speaker 07 Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sona of Sessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.
1:08:53 Speaker 07 Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
1:09:43 Conan O'Brien? Technology can generate salary recommendations in seconds, but building an offer that lands skilled talent, that takes more than just an estimate you came up with.
1:09:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, you're right.
1:09:53 Conan O'Brien? That's where Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide can help.
1:09:57 Speaker 01 That's good.
1:09:57 Conan O'Brien? Did we use a salary guide with you, Sona?
1:09:59 Speaker 01 Uh, no, but maybe-
1:10:00 Conan O'Brien? For several years, I just gave you groceries, remember?
1:10:03 Speaker 01 I know, I remember that. That was not good.
1:10:05 Conan O'Brien? Uh, well, anyway, now you've got Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide. As a staffing firm placing talent every day, Robert Half combines compensation data with the experience of local recruiters. You can hire with the confidence that comes from experience. The new Robert Half Salary Guide is here. Visit roberthalf.com/salaryguide.
1:10:27 Conan O'Brien? When you hear Alka-Seltzer, you probably think heartburn, right?
1:10:29 Speaker 03 Yep.
1:10:30 Conan O'Brien? Well, did you know Alka-Seltzer has a line of cold and flu medications known as Alka-Seltzer Cold? Did you know that, David?
1:10:37 Speaker 03 No, but I feel like we need it.
1:10:38 Conan O'Brien? Why didn't you know that, David?
1:10:40 Speaker 03 I know, you expect me to know everything.
1:10:42 Conan O'Brien? I knew this because I've-
1:10:43 Speaker 03 Did you?
1:10:43 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I've tried it, it's really good. And I like that fizzy, fizzy, fizzy when you drop the Alka-Seltzer Cold into the water. Alka-Seltzer Cold: Fast Dissolves Tablets are designed to deliver cold and flu relief fast. Just drop the two tablets in water and hear those bubbles bursting into action, ready to work faster than pills. Bubbles faster than pills. Pills take time to dissolve, not bubbles. Next time a cold or flu strikes, quick! Alka-Seltzer Cold: Nothing works faster for cold and flu symptom relief. Among oral products used as directed.
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