Matthew Rhys Returns Again

Actor Matthew Rhys feels ashamed about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Matthew sits down with Conan once again to discuss the best beer for this time of year, overcoming his own imposter syndrome to play legendary Welsh actor Richard Burton in his one-man show Playing Burton, and doing script chemistry reads with his wife Keri Russell. Plus, Adam Sachs shares a surprising stat from the Team Coco YouTube channel. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Conan O'Brien?

  When it comes to insurance, Farmers doesn't like surprises. That's why there's Farmers coverage on a page. What is it you ask? Did you ask? I don't think you did, but let's pretend you did.

• 0:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, okay, what is that?

• 0:14Conan O'Brien?

  It's your coverage on a page, pretty straightforward.

• 0:18Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:18Conan O'Brien?

  That's good, because sometimes it gets confusing, you know? What am I covered for, what am I not? Here, it's all on a page. Does your insurance do that? Get a quote to get started at Farmers.com. Don't be confused, don't wonder. Farmers makes it pretty clear. Underwritten by Farmers Truck or Fire Insurance Exchanges or affiliate. Products not available in every state.

• 0:39Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids, or do you shop for Tac?

• 0:43Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 0:44Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, you gotta get them their stuff.

• 0:45Speaker 01

  Or my dog.

• 0:46Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year, you feel that, you smell that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 0:56Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:56Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. Little early to buy a turkey. Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season, shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at Amazon.com/holiday.

• 1:33Speaker 02

  Hello, my name is Matthew Rees.

• 1:37Speaker 02

  And I feel ashamed about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

• 1:39Conan O'Brien?

  Finally!

• 1:40Speaker 02

  Yes!

• 1:40Conan O'Brien?

  An honest answer.

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Oh, God, that felt good, I feel unburdened and light.

• 2:07Conan O'Brien?

  Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I put a little pause between Conan O'Brien and Needs a Friend. Kind of a dramatic... You know what makes it really dramatic is explaining it.

• 2:20Conan O'Brien?

  I guess I had that coming. And you're fired.

• 2:23Speaker 03

  Fair enough.

• 2:24Conan O'Brien?

  Sona, Matt, how you guys doing?

• 2:26Speaker 03

  Good, how are you?

• 2:26Conan O'Brien?

  I'm doing okay. I, um, just a little bit of a follow-up. The nation's gripped because recently I talked about my trip to the eye doctor. Sonum of Sessian took me there, filling in for David Hopping, who went to a Midwestern wedding. Again, way too much backstory.

• 2:44Speaker 03

  Can I just say, this is like a third installment in the ongoing saga of your eye.

• 2:48Conan O'Brien?

  I say saga, I never say sagga.

• 2:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, saga is weird. I've never heard sagga.

• 2:52Conan O'Brien?

  What the hell was that? And by the way, it was Bob's saga.

• 2:55Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 2:58Speaker 03

  You guys are right, and that's probably worth stopping for. And you're not assholes.

• 3:03Conan O'Brien?

  You're checking every box right now. Not assholes worth stopping for.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  I don't know why I still work here.

• 3:09Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't either.

• 3:10Speaker 03

  But I was gonna say, in the saga, that it started with your eye postural leaning on the mic, then your visit to the optometrist

• 3:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 3:18Speaker 03

  to do bits where you stayed for hours. And then now there's another installment.

• 3:21Conan O'Brien?

  I did so many great bits.

• 3:22Speaker 01

  You do so many bits.

• 3:22Conan O'Brien?

  In that waiting room. Here's the thing. You know, I have prescription glasses, and they needed to make them a little stronger, but everything's fine. Are my eyes leaking a bit? Sure they are.

• 3:37Conan O'Brien?

  Just they're dry, and so you need...

• 3:38Speaker 03

  What are you even looking at right now? I'm worried about your depth of focus.

• 3:42Conan O'Brien?

  What about my mental focus? That's what you should be worried, because my brain is also leaking.

• 3:46Speaker 01

  You're saying it like, are my eyes leaking? Sure.

• 3:48Conan O'Brien?

  Sure they are.

• 3:49Speaker 03

  Should they be?

• 3:50Speaker 01

  That's not normal.

• 3:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, oh, please. Ocular jelly is oozing everywhere. No, and so it's very common for people with my talent. It's just too much talent. And this is how sometimes the eyes reject the talent.

• 4:02Speaker 01

  It's seeping out of you? Is that your talent?

• 4:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, the eyes, it's like, is there gonna be room for eyes or talent? And I always hang on to the talent.

• 4:09Speaker 03

  You and Iron Eyes Cody, the two great wits of all time.

• 4:13Conan O'Brien?

  So, worked with Iron Eyes Cody, but that's a whole other story.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  I remember you told me.

• 4:16Conan O'Brien?

  Anyway, back to the main story. They give me the drops I'm gonna use. Everything's fine. Me peepers are fine. It's all good. And who needs eye jelly, anyway? I always say. So, I'm about to leave, and this woman said, "Hey, Conan, have you ever thought of contact lenses?" And I said, "You know, I've never, ever used contact lenses. My distance is fine. I just mean, pretty much for reading. I need a little correction with distance, but really not much at all." And she said, "You know..." Once you get used to them, they're really handy and you wouldn't have to carry glasses around because you can forget them and where'd they go and did someone steal them and let's put out a warrant. So I said, "Oh, sure." And she said, "Yeah, they're so thin now. They really work great." And she brought in some contacts and she said, "I'll show you how to pop them in and pop them off." And I went, "Great."

• 5:01Conan O'Brien?

  Cut to a montage that lasts about 55 minutes.

• 5:07Conan O'Brien?

  Not that I was timing it or anything, with Sona in the waiting room and the woman saying, "No, no, you just, you just..." and me holding my eyes open

• 5:18Conan O'Brien?

  and trying to jab it in there, but I'm, you know, I've got fluttery eyelids that are like, "Ooh." And I've never liked people getting near my eyes. And she said, "Men are more prone to that than women." We just, and I've noticed it in the makeup chair forever. Whenever people get near my eyes, I grip the handles of the chair and I could crush them. I'm just so freaked out by people going near my eyes. I kept trying and kept trying and failing and saying, and I came up against something I just couldn't do. And I'm not used to that. I'm not bragging. I'm a bad athlete and there's a million things I can't do. But this, I just thought, "Oh, I'll be able to do this." And I couldn't do it.

• 6:00Conan O'Brien?

  And when I was done, my eyes, both my eyes were so red.

• 6:06Speaker 03

  Did you get them in?

• 6:07Conan O'Brien?

  I got them in and then I, it was time to get them out. That was a whole process. I, of course, doubled down on, I don't even know that I want contacts, but I am not losing this battle. So I'm not wearing them now because I wanted to get my eyes. They said, "Give your eyes a rest for a couple of days because it looks like I went seven rounds with the champ." I came out of there, you saw my eyes.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  You looked really stoned.

• 6:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 6:31Speaker 01

  You did. You had like a glazed over look. It looked really stoned.

• 6:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  You were really having struggle.

• 6:37Conan O'Brien?

  My eyes were so red and I couldn't believe, this is something people do all the time. Have you ever worn contacts?

• 6:44Speaker 03

  That's funny you should say that because I used to wear contacts. I hated them. And when I went for the first time to try them on, the optometrist was trying over and over to get them in my eyes and he finally put them down. He sighed and he went, "I don't know how to say this, but you have abnormally strong eyelids."

• 6:59Conan O'Brien?

  What?

• 6:59Speaker 03

  I was like, of course.

• 7:00Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? That's what I said.

• 7:01Speaker 03

  Strength I have is eyelids and not like biceps.

• 7:06Conan O'Brien?

  But your wife. When your wife saw you on the beach, she was like, gee.

• 7:11Speaker 03

  When I winked at her.

• 7:12Conan O'Brien?

  You've got strong eyelids there, mister.

• 7:14Speaker 03

  But I have astigmatism and I just can't handle them. They dry my eyes out. I don't like them.

• 7:18Speaker 01

  I do too. So does Conan.

• 7:20Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 7:20Speaker 01

  He has an astigmatism too. Check this out.

• 7:22Conan O'Brien?

  So, did you?

• 7:24Speaker 04

  We're cool.

• 7:24Conan O'Brien?

  But Sona, you got used to it.

• 7:25Speaker 01

  I, and I, I wonder if me saying that I.

• 7:28Conan O'Brien?

  There's a microphone right in front of you, Mary.

• 7:29Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 7:30Conan O'Brien?

  You were, you were doing an announcement on a cruise ship in a storm.

• 7:34Speaker 03

  Oh, my God.

• 7:35Conan O'Brien?

  You were telling people to get back into their cabins.

• 7:37Speaker 03

  You asked the lady a question.

• 7:38Conan O'Brien?

  I know, but she started to do this.

• 7:41Speaker 01

  I'm channeling my rage.

• 7:42Conan O'Brien?

  Eduardo, be fair.

• 7:43Speaker 01

  I'm channeling my rage.

• 7:44Conan O'Brien?

  Eduardo, be fair.

• 7:44Speaker 03

  You don't have to answer. You can plead the fifth.

• 7:46Speaker 01

  I'm channeling my, I'm taking deep breaths and I'm channeling it right now.

• 7:50Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, go ahead. Tell your story.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Give it to him. Don't channel.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  I wonder if me telling you that I was able to do it when I was 12 may have contributed to you getting more kind of like, well, I can do it too. Cause I kept saying I did this when I was, I've been wearing contacts since I was 12.

• 8:05Speaker 03

  A girl of 12 can wear contacts and you can't.

• 8:07Conan O'Brien?

  You know, I, first of all, um, I'm an, I'm an ally of all women and, um, and I empower you and I'm happy for you.

• 8:18Conan O'Brien?

  What's that?

• 8:19Speaker 01

  This is awful.

• 8:19Conan O'Brien?

  What'd you say?

• 8:21Speaker 04

  Well, I want to say that, um, I, I've worn.

• 8:23Speaker 03

  Billy, you can back off the mic.

• 8:26Speaker 04

  I wear contacts, but, but Eduardo has a very special contact situation, uh, that I think might.

• 8:32Conan O'Brien?

  Is this gonna prove helpful to Conan? Possibly.

• 8:35Speaker 05

  Maybe. I think you guys are all wusses.

• 8:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 8:38Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:38Conan O'Brien?

  But this, I do want advice.

• 8:40Speaker 01

  I'm cool.

• 8:41Conan O'Brien?

  I do want advice and also I'm telling you this. David Hopping told me that his mother like teaches people how to put

• 8:48Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:49Conan O'Brien?

  contact lenses in and out. Yes, seriously, this, and that I'm gonna have a Zoom with her, but what is your advice?

• 8:54Speaker 05

  So I wear Scolero lenses, which are the.

• 8:58Conan O'Brien?

  Brag.

• 8:58Speaker 05

  Yeah, so it's a very specific type of contact.

• 9:01Conan O'Brien?

  Is this a company owned by former Judge Scalia?

• 9:04Speaker 05

  How did you know? No, uh, it's for.

• 9:06Conan O'Brien?

  I use Ginsburgos.

• 9:09Speaker 05

  But I have to use this, uh...

• 9:11Speaker 01

  I hate you. I hate you so much.

• 9:13Speaker 03

  That was good.

• 9:14Speaker 01

  I hate you so much.

• 9:15Conan O'Brien?

  Look at me. Look at me. I wish we could do a thing where I pull a string and confetti comes down on me. And I would do this.

• 9:21Speaker 03

  Fair is fair. He was wrong to assault you, but he was... That was funny.

• 9:24Speaker 05

  That was funny. I have a plunger that I have to use to take out my...

• 9:27Speaker 01

  That's the plunger.

• 9:28Speaker 03

  And you're calling us wussies?

• 9:30Speaker 01

  Are they hard?

• 9:30Speaker 05

  I have to take it out with this because they're rigid, gas-permeable lenses that I have to wear.

• 9:36Conan O'Brien?

  Also, so you have a little plunger, which you use a little plunger for your eyes?

• 9:41Speaker 05

  For my contacts.

• 9:42Conan O'Brien?

  And occasionally for a mouse's toilet.

• 9:50Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then, Eduardo is sitting, reading a paper at home, and he hears, "Me me, me me, me me." What's that, little fella? "Me me, me me." Oh, really, huh? Well, that's embarrassing. And you have guests coming? "Me me, me me, me me." I'll take care of it.

• 10:10Conan O'Brien?

  You're welcome, buddy. Anytime. Just wash it.

• 10:17Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 10:18Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my god. Happiness everywhere. Anyway, um, I don't know. It's just one of those things. I don't like to walk away from something, and so I'm gonna double down on this.

• 10:28Speaker 05

  You famously have said that you'll do anything in the name of comedy. So I think if you think of it in terms of you gotta be funny...

• 10:34Speaker 01

  Pretends. Have Liza film you.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  Bring him in, and we'll do it here on the podcast.

• 10:38Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. Okay. Okay, I'll do it.

• 10:41Speaker 01

  Why don't we compete? We'll have some cases, because you get very competitive.

• 10:45Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, we could compete. Sure. I'll do whatever I'm told to do. All right, you guys. Onward and sideways. My guest today won an Emmy for his portrayal of Russian spy Philip Jennings in the FX series, "The Americans." He now stars in the new Netflix series, "The Beast in Me." I love this fellow.

• 11:08Conan O'Brien?

  Matthew Rees, welcome.

• 11:13Conan O'Brien?

  I'm gonna come right out with it. Oh, God. I developed an insane man crush on you. You've been on, the first time you were on the podcast, it was, I believe, during the pandemic. It was, it was. And you were virtual. And I thought, I like this chap enormously, and I was a big fan of your work. Then you came in and did it in person, and my heart's been fluttering ever since. Oh, stop your, stop your giddy Irish ways. Keep going. I can't. No, go on, go on. It's literally, oh, stop, but go on. Yes, always. So many confusing signals. I know. You are an absolute delight. You're an imp.

• 11:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you omitted the C H before that, didn't you? You are a Welsh leprechaun, if there is such a thing. Is there an equivalent in Wales of the leprechaun? They're called weprechons. Yes. Okay, they have weapons, okay. Weaponized leprechons. So I just, I was like, oh, my God, I want to just go hang out with this man. Let's do it. And I had, not just yet, let's, let's do this first. Sorry. And then we can monetize it, and then you and I will hang out, and we'll spend the profits.

• 12:21Conan O'Brien?

  But I'm gonna tell you a quick secret, which is that you were talking about a boat that you had purchased, that you had fixed up yourself. Yes. And you were floating this boat around the, what, the Hudson River? Yes, yes. The East River? The East and the Hudson, and the harbor of New York. And you were driving it around? Yes. And so I was intrigued, so intrigued by our conversation, that I looked up a photo of you and your boat. Yeah. And I thought, well, that's a handsome-looking boat. And then I start doing a deep dive on the boat, and up popped a model, a replica of that same type of boat. Yeah. Popped up, and I said, I'm going to get that from my man crush. Eat your heart out, Olafant. Uh, Matthew Rees. And so, it popped up and I said, "I'm gonna get it." And then I hit on the screen. It's quite expensive.

• 13:05Speaker 02

  Oh, yes.

• 13:06Conan O'Brien?

  And suddenly, I lost my, uh, tumessence for this boat.

• 13:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 13:11Conan O'Brien?

  But part of me is thinking, "I've gotta scrape up the money and get you this model." It's a model of the boat that you have. It's this, and I feel like, Adam, we have to scrape up the funds to make this happen. He's giving the thumbs up, and you'll pay for it.

• 13:23Speaker 02

  Maybe all we-

• 13:24Conan O'Brien?

  There's no ma- I'm asking him, there's no microphone on him. You'll pay for it, and that's a nod, yes. Good.

• 13:28Speaker 02

  I'll get this for you. No, no, well, surely we can start some kind of Kickstarter now. A GoFundMe that begins right now.

• 13:35Conan O'Brien?

  Can I tell you something?

• 13:36Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 13:36Conan O'Brien?

  People love it when celebrities start a Kickstarter-

• 13:39Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 13:39Conan O'Brien?

  -for, um, a childish amusement that they will keep for themselves.

• 13:43Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, especially men, because they will relate to it. They said, "He needs that model." "It's the model we've all deserved." It checks a box within our emotional hearts.

• 13:52Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I wanna connect with you, uh, and I'm gonna start by, uh, saying, uh, "I adore your work, but whales." Let's start with whales, because that's the secret to cracking this gentleman. Whales. You are Welsh through and through.

• 14:05Speaker 02

  I am.

• 14:06Conan O'Brien?

  And, um, I, I, there's so much that I don't know about whales.

• 14:10Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 14:10Conan O'Brien?

  I really don't, because, uh, it's, it's a mystery to me. I know that you don't use any vowels when you write something.

• 14:17Speaker 02

  They were outlawed by the English in 1282.

• 14:19Conan O'Brien?

  They stole your vowels.

• 14:20Speaker 02

  "Take their vowels, that'll learn them." "Yes, they'll drown in their own spit."

• 14:26Conan O'Brien?

  So, I know that it's, uh, very important to you, and the, the Welsh language is very important to you.

• 14:32Speaker 02

  It is, it is.

• 14:33Conan O'Brien?

  Now, I did a travel show recently, and I went to Ireland. And I appeared on, uh, a show where they only sp- it's a, it's a soap opera where they only speak Irish.

• 14:44Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 14:44Conan O'Brien?

  And all my lines were in Irish. It was very difficult.

• 14:47Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 14:48Conan O'Brien?

  Is the Welsh language more difficult than Irish? Is it similar at all? Help me.

• 14:53Speaker 02

  I would say it's akin in many ways in, in, in, it's- Difficulty level as to as to learning.

• 15:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  Ironically, for for two Celtic languages, they're very they're they're very different. Um, where Welsh is far more similar to Breton, Northern France, and Manx on the Isle of Man. You can when if you see those languages, Cornish as well, you can see the similarities with the Scots and the Irish. They they share that similarity, but with with regards to kind of hard guttural sounds. I think we're right there with with the Irish.

• 15:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, it sounds like someone has thrown silverware down some stone steps when you guys speak.

• 15:31Speaker 02

  I'll be taking that one home.

• 15:32Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you that's yours.

• 15:33Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 15:34Conan O'Brien?

  And I'll get you the model. And and this you is important to you that Welsh is spoken in your home occasionally, is that right? You're trying to teach it to the some of the children?

• 15:45Speaker 02

  I am, I am, uh, with with varying degrees of success, but, um, you know, Kerry and I have a nine year old son. And I spoke to him purely in Welsh from from the moment he was he was born and continue to do so.

• 15:56Conan O'Brien?

  Really, how's he doing in school?

• 15:58Speaker 02

  Not very well, not very well. Yes, his his his friends bring umbrellas and raincoats.

• 16:04Conan O'Brien?

  He's been held back 15 times.

• 16:06Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 16:06Conan O'Brien?

  Which is hard to do for a nine year old.

• 16:08Speaker 02

  It it is, but he's managed it. He he he's he's now at the point. And it's it's I'm it's kind of kills me a bit, but obviously when as conversations become more involved and more complicated. And I realize if you haven't if you haven't introduced more complex Welsh words. Early on, now, you know, when I when I speak to him and I bring in a complex Welsh word, he'll just say, oh, just say it in mama's language.

• 16:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 16:34Speaker 02

  So now and I go, oh, rats. So I feel the beginnings of starting to lose him, which which sort of breaks my heart, but not lose him. Losing maybe for now, I know it'll peak and trough and ebb and flow. My hope is, well, that's what I'm threatening him with, you know.

• 16:48Conan O'Brien?

  As long as you're threatening your child, good things will come.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  That's what I've said, I I've monetized it and I've I've threatened college with it and all kinds of toys in between. Christmas can be canceled.

• 16:58Conan O'Brien?

  The cancellation of Welsh. Uh, and I'm curious, first of all, oh, you mentioned Christmas. Christmas in Wales, uh, one of the great, uh, poems of all time.

• 17:08Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 17:09Conan O'Brien?

  Um, and so every occasionally I fantasize about what would it be like to have Christmas in Wales? Is it as romantic as I think it is? Or is no, the reality is everyone just goes to Walmart and gets a Christmas tree like we do here?

• 17:23Speaker 02

  Yes, of course, and and you know, you know. Excessive drinking and, and kind of shouting mainly, and then no one can remember what happened on Christmas Day.

• 17:31Conan O'Brien?

  Is it true that your Santa is a terrible alcoholic?

• 17:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, it is a raging one, a raging one. But it makes for great frivolity on the rooftops. Yes. But apparently there's only one Welsh Santa, because all the other Santas refuse to do Wales, because, you know, it was.

• 17:44Conan O'Brien?

  They won't go there.

• 17:45Speaker 02

  No, they were like, give it to that drunken fool. Yes, that imp. Yeah, it doesn't even have.

• 17:50Conan O'Brien?

  He lost his naughty and nice list a long time ago. He doesn't know, you, you scoundrel, you'll get nothing.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  I was quite good. I was quite good. Only the, the irony is, if you're given coal in Wales, the kids are overjoyed. They're like, oh, look what I got. Shut that up, you assholes, England.

• 18:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 18:08Speaker 02

  We'll have a warm Christmas after all.

• 18:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, aha, let's cook on this. Uh, you know, it's so funny, my first introduction to you really was, uh, your role in, in the spectacular TV show, The Americans. And when I first spoke to you on the podcast, it was unsettling, because, I mean, the sense I get is that anyone in Britain or the United Kingdom is much better at doing an American accent than, of course, than we are at doing anything, uh, similar to your accent.

• 18:39Speaker 02

  Well, it is, it is an accent.

• 18:41Conan O'Brien?

  It's a terrible accent.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  Believe me, there by the grace of God go I, but, and a happy accent, I, I will gladly admit to. But I, but I do, and I know if I said this last time, I do, I do believe that the amount of American television we grew up watching, and as young kids going out

• 18:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 18:57Speaker 02

  into the yard to play Starsky and Hutch, or The A-Team, or Airwolf, or any of those, you know, as kids growing up, whereas kids in America don't go out to the schoolyard to play Downton Abbey, which is seemingly the only thing that.

• 19:07Conan O'Brien?

  I did.

• 19:08Speaker 02

  Well, yes, of course.

• 19:09Conan O'Brien?

  I was taunted and beaten.

• 19:10Speaker 02

  You were like, fetch me another pheasant, boy. Yes.

• 19:12Conan O'Brien?

  I used to always want to play Scrooge, you know?

• 19:16Speaker 02

  Yes, yes. You, boy, fetch me the goose in the bushes.

• 19:19Conan O'Brien?

  The goose in the window, I must have it.

• 19:20Speaker 02

  Yes. I'm not playing Tiny Tim again.

• 19:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I was beaten roundly by everyone in my neighborhood. But I found this over the years that when I would talk to anyone who was from England, Scotland, Wales, they just have such a great storytelling custom that it was always a fun interview.

• 19:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, yes. Well, I do, you know, I think, you know, the Celts do, we viciously and proudly say, you know, that the oral storytelling tradition handed down from the mists of time is still, you know, is now the modern day pub raconteur. And that's, and that's who we've remained to be. I just want to go back. You know, Dylan Thomas sold the rights to A Child's Christmas in Wales to an inordinate amount of people as he was rampaging around New York. He was just saying, I have this wonderful little story. I should like to sell you the rights. And they were like, oh, great. Yes. Harper's Bazaar bought, everyone bought the rights to.

• 20:12Conan O'Brien?

  He sold it like 800 times.

• 20:13Speaker 02

  800 times, which I thought was one of the greatest grifts of all time. And at the time of kind of pre, you know, pre-computer madness.

• 20:21Conan O'Brien?

  And famously, he passed in a pub, I think downtown.

• 20:26Speaker 02

  Collapsed downtown right here, the White, outside the White Horse.

• 20:29Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, the White Horse.

• 20:30Speaker 02

  And then passed at St. Vincent's.

• 20:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And I don't know if the White Horse celebrates that.

• 20:36Speaker 02

  Well, there's still.

• 20:37Conan O'Brien?

  A famous, a famous poet died or got sick here and died.

• 20:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 20:42Conan O'Brien?

  Not many restaurants or pubs want that known.

• 20:44Speaker 02

  No, or can say it. He's also, he's also on the mural at, it's not Mineta Tavern, it is the Waverley Inn. He's on the wall there as well. But he's heavily, he's still heavily pictured at the, at the White Horse. It's worth a pint of, a quiet pint of Guinness.

• 20:57Conan O'Brien?

  They made a lot of money off of him.

• 20:58Speaker 02

  They did. Yeah, there's still a lot of Welsh tourists who pay the, you know, the pilgrimage, who make the homage and the pilgrimage there.

• 21:04Conan O'Brien?

  When you belly up to a bar, what is your, what is your lager? What is your pint? What do you like to have?

• 21:09Speaker 02

  Now, that depends exactly on the time of day and the, and the time of year.

• 21:12Conan O'Brien?

  3:30 October, late October. It's 3:30 in the afternoon.

• 21:16Speaker 02

  Guinness.

• 21:16Conan O'Brien?

  There's a light rain. Guinness?

• 21:18Speaker 02

  Guinness.

• 21:18Conan O'Brien?

  Incredible. I love a Guinness.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 21:20Conan O'Brien?

  I love a Guinness.

• 21:20Speaker 02

  How, how much did you get through in Ireland?

• 21:23Conan O'Brien?

  I did pretty well.

• 21:24Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:25Conan O'Brien?

  I love a Guinness and it does taste better in Ireland.

• 21:28Speaker 02

  I totally agree.

• 21:28Conan O'Brien?

  I will say that.

• 21:29Speaker 02

  I totally agree.

• 21:37Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 21:39Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 21:40Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 21:54Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 21:54Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 22:03Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 22:07Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5 N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 22:27Speaker 01

  Hello!

• 22:27Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 23:02Conan O'Brien?

  Now, Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.

• 23:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:05Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 23:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 23:07Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 23:12Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 23:14Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 23:16Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 23:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 23:20Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that jacket, nice jacket.

• 23:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 23:22Speaker 01

  Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 23:24Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 23:36Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 23:37Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place. You can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 24:02Conan O'Brien?

  So, you have to admit, the holidays, it's really about hanging with the people you love.

• 24:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:08Conan O'Brien?

  And getting to be yourself, not going to some stuffy holiday party where you need to conform to what the man wants you to think about the holidays.

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's about being yourself. Turn your holiday time into Miller time by enjoying a Miller Lite in a place where you're free to enjoy yourself on a walk with a cousin. With a cousin? Why are they getting all specific about it?

• 24:28Speaker 01

  Because it's family.

• 24:29Conan O'Brien?

  But what about a niece or a nephew?

• 24:30Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:33Conan O'Brien?

  Like a walk with an ex-wife. I don't know. I mean, they're just throwing, that's a weird, they just made a very specific choice.

• 24:40Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 24:40Conan O'Brien?

  Now's the time for those unexpected holiday side guests and enjoy a great tasting light beer. 'Tis Miller time, as Dickens wrote. Miller Lite is brewed for taste, the taste you can depend on. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic more than 50 years later. I like to be with my bros, my chums, my posse, crack open a Miller Lite, take a swig, sip, look around and see my friends. We've known each other forever and we're just hanging out.

• 25:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, you guys are just doing chest bumps and high-fiving.

• 25:10Conan O'Brien?

  Miller Lite is great taste done right. Go to millerlite.com/conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. 'Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

• 25:32Speaker 02

  We're just talking about all things Welsh. I've put it, taken it upon myself to do probably the Welshest of all Welsh things, and I am going to do a one-man play about Richard Burton.

• 25:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I know about this.

• 25:42Speaker 02

  Oh, you do?

• 25:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I do know about this. This is, you're gonna play, and this is your return to the Welsh stage for the first time in how many years?

• 25:51Speaker 02

  22.

• 25:52Conan O'Brien?

  22 years?

• 25:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 25:54Conan O'Brien?

  That's gotta be a little terrifying.

• 25:55Speaker 02

  I am, now at this point, sorry, I was trying to link it to the fact about the oral storytelling tradition, but I wasn't a complete-

• 26:02Conan O'Brien?

  And then get us back to Guinness, please.

• 26:03Speaker 02

  Well, Burton's the, an easy, an easy link back to Guinness.

• 26:07Conan O'Brien?

  How are you gonna get from Richard Burton to alcohol?

• 26:10Speaker 02

  I don't know. Give me, just give me a moment. He had a friend called Richard Harris.

• 26:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. You can come back in a week.

• 26:16Speaker 02

  Yeah, yes. I've cracked it. Yes.

• 26:18Conan O'Brien?

  So, uh, yes, you're going back to the Welsh stage where you got your start.

• 26:22Speaker 02

  You did.

• 26:23Conan O'Brien?

  When you were about a wee lad. You're gonna go back for the first time in 22 years. What is your greatest fear that they just stare at you?

• 26:29Speaker 02

  There is that. Well, there's a number of things. I was, I was fortunate to play Dylan Thomas once in a film and I realized when you go, especially to a place like Wales where we have few but select but incredible icons, Dylan Thomas, Richard Burton, Shirley Bassey, Sean Phillips, Rachel Roberts. We have these incredible performers, actors, singers, everything. But the nation itself has an incredibly personal relationship, an individual personal relationship with that icon. So your take on Dylan Thomas is wildly different from what everyone else deems it to be. So a lot of people are like, I saw you Dylan Thomas. I don't think you got it right. You know, there's.

• 27:08Conan O'Brien?

  That's right.

• 27:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, and you think.

• 27:09Conan O'Brien?

  And that could be, that could be someone driving a bus.

• 27:12Speaker 02

  Or, or my father in this case. Yes.

• 27:15Conan O'Brien?

  That's all dads.

• 27:16Speaker 02

  Yes, but he does drive a bus. Yes, which is, which is ironic. So, so one of my great fears is that one, I, this, I have this thing where I'm going, where I think all the people who bought tickets are gonna go, who does he think he is that he can play Richard Burton? Now that is a great, I would say Welsh, I would go as far as to say Celtic affliction.

• 27:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 27:37Speaker 02

  As to who do you think you are syndrome.

• 27:39Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god, yes.

• 27:39Speaker 02

  I mean, that week, if that was an Olympic sport, we would podium.

• 27:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 27:43Speaker 02

  Every time. So there's that. Then there is the secondary version or level to that which you go, when you do it, they go, well, that wasn't Richard Burton. That wasn't Richard Burton at all. And, and also.

• 27:52Conan O'Brien?

  I knew Richard Burton.

• 27:53Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 27:54Conan O'Brien?

  We were in school together.

• 27:55Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 27:55Conan O'Brien?

  That's the problem is you're, you're rubbing shoulders with people. You're performing for people who have a personal, very strong connection with this.

• 28:03Speaker 02

  The final, this is what I've done to myself. The final performance of the tour is in the chapel that Richard Burton attended. It'll be livestreamed to the Miners Arms, which is the pub that he and his family drank in. And his family have been invited to the chapel to watch the final performance.

• 28:19Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god.

• 28:20Speaker 02

  I think they've made it the final performance so I can literally fall on my sword at the, at the curtain call with an apology. I say, sorry Jenkins. Yes.

• 28:30Speaker 02

  You know Harry, do you know Harry? Harry Carey is about time. Yes.

• 28:33Conan O'Brien?

  So you are going to get, yeah, I mean, that's your fear. Uh, my money's on you.

• 28:38Speaker 02

  Thank you, thank you very much.

• 28:39Conan O'Brien?

  You are, I think, one of the finest actors alive, and I think that you will carry it off gloriously. Uh, but, uh, I, I also fear for you terribly. Well, I'm very excited about, uh, another matter involving you, Mr. Reese, if I can call you Mr. Reese. Mrs. Reese doesn't seem right.

• 28:58Speaker 02

  Mysteries.

• 29:01Conan O'Brien?

  Histories, mysteries.

• 29:02Speaker 02

  Oh, that's good.

• 29:03Conan O'Brien?

  That should be your podcast, where you talk about history that's not true. I am a massive fan of the historian, Mr. Robert Caro. I've read all of his works. I've interviewed him. I stalked him for a while. Uh, I think he's, uh, just a treasure, as they say, national treasure. And one of his great books, maybe one of his greatest books, uh, if it's not the Lyndon Johnson series, uh, The Power Broker about Robert Moses is one of the most amazing historical works in history. I understand that you may be working on some kind of version

• 29:38Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 29:38Conan O'Brien?

  of The Power Broker.

• 29:39Speaker 02

  We are, we are working on-

• 29:41Conan O'Brien?

  Who is "we"?

• 29:42Speaker 02

  Um, um, well, um-

• 29:45Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, maybe you're not allowed to talk about this yet.

• 29:47Speaker 02

  Not, well-

• 29:47Conan O'Brien?

  I don't want to get you in, I mean, I do want to get you in trouble, but not for this.

• 29:50Speaker 02

  But remember last time, yes, you very kindly bailed me out. Yes, there, there's, there's a-

• 29:55Conan O'Brien?

  What can you say? Why don't you just say what you can say?

• 29:57Speaker 02

  There is a select group of us who have, uh, approached a very well-known-

• 30:01Conan O'Brien?

  Bunch of criminals.

• 30:02Speaker 02

  Streaming platform.

• 30:03Conan O'Brien?

  There are a few of us-

• 30:04Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:05Conan O'Brien?

  -known criminals who are conspiring.

• 30:07Speaker 02

  Yes, but, but at the moment, um, Mr. Dear Mr. Caro has, um, he doesn't have an issue with handing over the rights to The Power Broker.

• 30:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  Other agencies and publishing houses do. So at the moment, it's in this stalemate, um, whereby I know the flicks called Net are trying to-

• 30:27Conan O'Brien?

  Work things out.

• 30:28Speaker 02

  Yes, and acquire the rights to The Power Broker. It's been pitched. They do want to do it.

• 30:32Conan O'Brien?

  Is it possible, then, that you would play Robert Moses, the man who, more than anyone, uh, created- The New York City that we know today.

• 30:42Speaker 02

  Yes, that's that's basically the fundamental pitch.

• 30:45Conan O'Brien?

  OK, I have no sway in this business at all. I have a little bit of sway with Robert Caro, just because I think he knows me. I've interviewed him. He knows I'm a huge fan and an acolyte of his. But I would do everything in my power to make sure that you play. I think you'd be amazing. And I think that would be just a terrific project.

• 31:03Speaker 02

  I certainly think it's a story in a book that needs to get made because the sheer scale and scope of it. But also Moses as a human being, as an individual, if you read that play, book, is staggering. It lays Shakespeare to the sword because you cannot quite believe the ascent of that man.

• 31:25Conan O'Brien?

  And that man had more power than maybe anyone in American history, save a president. But he was able to, it's unimaginable now.

• 31:36Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:36Conan O'Brien?

  But he could just say, I think this highway should go here and all of these buildings in my way shall be destroyed.

• 31:43Speaker 02

  And these communities removed.

• 31:45Conan O'Brien?

  And these communities removed. And it would happen as if he were a czar.

• 31:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 31:49Conan O'Brien?

  And it was the way he understood power. And that's a real, Caro's obsession is how people accumulate power and how they use it and who are the masters at that. And of course, the other one is Lyndon Johnson. And it's just this thing that he writes about so well and he understands so well.

• 32:06Speaker 02

  That beautifully, beautifully put.

• 32:08Conan O'Brien?

  I'm very talented.

• 32:09Speaker 02

  You are, but it's the understanding of power.

• 32:11Conan O'Brien?

  I might be the Robert Moses of comedy.

• 32:13Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 32:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I've laid waste to so many communities.

• 32:18Conan O'Brien?

  When I have a joke I want to do, I destroy communities and my whole tenements and buildings come down.

• 32:23Speaker 02

  In your wake, yes, yes.

• 32:24Conan O'Brien?

  And then it's just a quick wordplay pun, but people have lost their buildings.

• 32:29Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 32:30Conan O'Brien?

  I hope this happens.

• 32:32Speaker 02

  So do I.

• 32:32Conan O'Brien?

  And I will pray on that tonight. When I kneel and I say my prayers, it's all about my career.

• 32:39Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 32:40Conan O'Brien?

  Nothing about the family.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  No, think of the commission.

• 32:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. I would love that. I would love that to happen.

• 32:45Speaker 02

  So would I. So would I.

• 32:46Conan O'Brien?

  I'll make it happen.

• 32:47Speaker 02

  Okay, good. You heard it here first.

• 32:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, and you'll hear it here last. Now, I want to bring up one more Celtic thing, which is you have claimed that you have, and that you have profited from in your career, Celtic eyes.

• 32:59Speaker 02

  Oh, yes, yes.

• 33:00Conan O'Brien?

  Tell me what are Celtic eyes, what they are, and then I'll ask you my follow-up question.

• 33:06Speaker 02

  Well, actually, what I was gonna say was an accusation, but it was more an inquiry.

• 33:10Conan O'Brien?

  You're not to accuse me of anything.

• 33:11Speaker 02

  No, I have a number of things I'd like to accuse you of, but we'll wait till we stop rolling for that. Yes. It was, I sat down at a dinner party in Los Angeles once, and a very, very dashing, older, kind of silver fox gentleman turned to me and he just went, "Irish." I went, "No." "Scottish." I went, "No." And then, "Well, then what are you?" I said, "Wales." "Oh, of course, the other Celt." And I said, "I'm sorry, what made you say that?" He goes, "Celtic lids. You've got Celtic lids." He goes, "I could really help you out." He was a plastic surgeon. And what he was inferring was, is this sort of slight droop

• 33:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 33:42Speaker 02

  on the top of our eyes, which is, I think, you know, centuries being downtrodden makes you go, "Oh, I'm so sorry."

• 33:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 33:47Speaker 02

  You know, genetically it's-

• 33:49Conan O'Brien?

  And the coal dust.

• 33:50Speaker 02

  That, that does it too?

• 33:51Conan O'Brien?

  It's everything, yeah.

• 33:52Speaker 02

  It's, it's having, it's both emotional and practical. That you keep dust out of your eyes, but also you take your place, you know, in society.

• 34:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 34:01Speaker 02

  And apologize for being there, more importantly.

• 34:03Conan O'Brien?

  Someone was gonna try and fix your, you say lids, I call them peepers.

• 34:09Speaker 02

  Jeepers creepers, what's inside those peepers?

• 34:11Conan O'Brien?

  Exactly.

• 34:12Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 34:13Conan O'Brien?

  One of my favorite poems also.

• 34:15Speaker 02

  From Dylan Thomas?

• 34:16Conan O'Brien?

  Dylan Thomas is, he did a lot of great stuff.

• 34:19Speaker 02

  He does, he did.

• 34:20Conan O'Brien?

  Purple polka dot bikini was his.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Yes, where the sidewalk ends, yes.

• 34:24Conan O'Brien?

  So I'm, I'm fascinated that anyone would try and touch those eyes, because those are great, I would think. They've, they've been so useful to you in acting.

• 34:31Speaker 02

  Well, there's another, there's another moment when The Americans was finishing, I believe it was The New Yorker, they wrote a very nice article saying that I was like, what is it called, the king of downtrodden tragedy. And there was a photo of me, and I looked at the photo and I went, "That's my resting face." I'm not acting, I'm not doing anything. That is what my face looks like. You can project whatever it is you wish upon that downtrodden face. And if you bleed in some emotional music, it might give you something cinematic. But at that moment, I was doing nothing.

• 35:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 35:06Speaker 02

  Which, that's all it does.

• 35:07Conan O'Brien?

  Cut you to the quick.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  It fans the flame of your imposter syndrome. That's all it does.

• 35:13Conan O'Brien?

  All right, this brings up my next question.

• 35:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:15Conan O'Brien?

  First of all, look at my eyes.

• 35:17Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 35:18Conan O'Brien?

  Do I have anything, is there any Celtic, anything going on in my eyes? My eyes are narrow, they're suspicious, they're creepy.

• 35:25Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 35:26Conan O'Brien?

  It's kept me out of film my entire life. What can we do? Help me, help me.

• 35:31Speaker 02

  I watched, I did watch, I did watch a documentary about Charlie Sheen the other day.

• 35:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  And he said, there was this one time where obviously he was struggling, struggling with substance abuse, um, which isn't funny, but one thing he did, he realized he was falling asleep mid-take. And he, do you know this?

• 35:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 35:48Speaker 02

  And he asked for the cup of ice, and he inserted an ice cube into his rectum.

• 35:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 35:52Speaker 02

  And he said it gave him like.

• 35:53Conan O'Brien?

  And it finished the scene, and then they show the scene in the documentary, and he's very present.

• 35:58Speaker 02

  And aware. And I thought in that moment, I went, good God, he's cracked it. My downtrodden lids, if I just give the old, you know, one up the chute, right? And I've gone, bing! And like, all of a sudden, you know.

• 36:11Conan O'Brien?

  Right now, you're doing it.

• 36:12Speaker 02

  Look at me, I'm like, I could play Scarface again. I'm like, oh, fuck you, Dave, right? Right? It just gives you the zing.

• 36:20Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, so you're saying if I shoved ice up my ass, these eyes would open up?

• 36:24Speaker 02

  Oh, like, like, I'm trying to think of something that opens up. Just.

• 36:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes. Like a mall on Christmas Eve.

• 36:32Speaker 02

  There you go, now we're talking.

• 36:34Conan O'Brien?

  So, um, I, uh, let's call it pulling a sheen from now on.

• 36:37Speaker 02

  Oh, okay, good.

• 36:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I think that's the way to do it. You need to pull a sheen.

• 36:40Speaker 02

  Yes, I'll be back in a minute.

• 36:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and then zing, ring!

• 36:43Speaker 02

  And then in you come.

• 36:46Conan O'Brien?

  You talked about imposter syndrome.

• 36:48Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 36:49Conan O'Brien?

  Everybody has imposter syndrome.

• 36:50Speaker 02

  Well, weirdly, with this Richard Burton piece, it's the first one man show I've ever done. And, and the true great fear I have is that I will forget my lines because that's it. It's like stand up, it's just you and the audience. What I've started doing now is doing a run through. If I go wrong, is not stopping or correcting myself, is seeing how I get out of that. Because that will ultimately be, I think, the lifeline. So that, that is an entirely new discipline for me. Yes, I did a little bit on stage, but you're always with another actor who will help you catch you, throw it back to you.

• 37:24Conan O'Brien?

  They're your cue.

• 37:25Speaker 02

  A hundred percent.

• 37:26Conan O'Brien?

  They're giving you, I mean, you're leading each other, but it's a dance. And now you're out there alone.

• 37:31Speaker 02

  Yes, and I've forgotten my lines in the past and another actor's saved me. And this, for the first time, playing Richard Burton, going home after 22 years, I will do something alone. And my, my, what I'm intrigued is, how do I, exactly what you say, how do I get out of those moments when it doesn't seem like I messed? I try and make it seem like I messed.

• 37:51Conan O'Brien?

  I have a suggestion.

• 37:52Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 37:53Conan O'Brien?

  If you're open to it.

• 37:54Speaker 02

  Don't do it.

• 37:55Conan O'Brien?

  If you can get out of the play, I would get out.

• 37:57Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 37:57Conan O'Brien?

  I think you're a terrible actor.

• 37:58Speaker 02

  Yes, good. This is good, this is constructive.

• 38:00Conan O'Brien?

  You shouldn't be on the stage.

• 38:01Speaker 02

  No. Shall I get my eyes done?

• 38:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, and immediately get your eyes done.

• 38:04Speaker 02

  Eyes, please.

• 38:08Conan O'Brien?

  You should put a little thing in the program.

• 38:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:11Conan O'Brien?

  A little message.

• 38:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:12Conan O'Brien?

  And it says, you know, they always say, this takes place.

• 38:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:14Conan O'Brien?

  On New Year's Day.

• 38:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:16Conan O'Brien?

  Richard Burton's apartment.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:18Conan O'Brien?

  In 1968. Okay, was it 68?

• 38:22Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:23Conan O'Brien?

  I just was making that data up, I was serious.

• 38:24Speaker 02

  We literally said at the same time.

• 38:25Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, so, this is how good I am.

• 38:27Speaker 02

  I know.

• 38:28Conan O'Brien?

  Of course, I don't have imposter syndrome.

• 38:29Speaker 02

  God, he's good, yes.

• 38:30Conan O'Brien?

  So, you should have a little thing that says, on this day, Richard Burton has a very bad cold. And then, you come in, enter coughing.

• 38:38Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:39Conan O'Brien?

  Then start your speeches, let the cough melt away.

• 38:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:42Conan O'Brien?

  But anytime you start to lose it a little bit.

• 38:46Conan O'Brien?

  Good God.

• 38:49Conan O'Brien?

  Thinking, thinking. The whole time. Find it. What's next? Find it, find it, find it. Oh. And then you'll find, yeah. That's it. The cough. And people will say, he'd never missed a line. Yeah. And God, he, he, he made me feel like he really was sick. Good God, that's genius. Yeah. That's the work of genius. Well. You should direct theatre. You know what? No one's ever said that to me and no one ever will seriously. But I'm going to take you up on that. Something to consider. Quit everything I'm doing. What would be the Irish one man show that you would want to do? Which Irishman? Oh, wait, surely there's one about Harris you could do. Oh, my God. Well, I mean, first of all, the worst thing I could do in my career would be for me, uh, an American,

• 39:32Conan O'Brien?

  you know, third generation, uh, Irish American to return to Ireland and attempt, uh, a true accent. Do it. They would destroy me. Do it. A true accent. Do it. They would destroy me. Do it. Was Harris ever on your show? Yes, he was. How many times? Uh, he was on once, I believe, and I watched the interview recently because one of the problems with doing so much volume. Hmm. Thousands and thousands of hours of television, four of them quite good. I, I decided that, um, oh, my God, I remembered I got to speak to the great iconic Richard Harris. Yeah. And I, I have a very dim memory of it.

• 40:15Conan O'Brien?

  And then I realized, wait a minute, I can watch it. So I typed in Conan, Richard Harris. Yeah. He came up. I watched the whole interview. He was spectacular. And at one point, he finishes his story with great bravado and throws himself back in his chair, roaring laughing, and his chair starts to tip over and Andy and I kind of grab him and pull him back. He was an absolute delight, everything you'd want him to be. And now you have this retrospective where, you know, when the greats die, you look back and go, now I'll watch me talking to him. Yeah, but you know what's funny? I'm often, when I see those moments, I think, why is he there? Meaning, why is, not why is, why is Richard Harris there?

• 40:52Speaker 02

  Why is Richard Harris there? Why wasn't it Peter O'Toole?

• 40:56Conan O'Brien?

  No, why isn't it just me alone?

• 40:58Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 40:59Conan O'Brien?

  Why is Harris mucking it up?

• 41:01Speaker 02

  I could have done much better with that story.

• 41:02Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, yeah, exactly. Uh, no, I just see myself with, with a Richard Harris or a David Bowie and go, oh my god. It's that thing where you just are, can you lose him? Why is he there?

• 41:14Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 41:14Conan O'Brien?

  But I'm sorry, but that's how we all feel.

• 41:16Speaker 02

  I know, I know.

• 41:17Conan O'Brien?

  Because the other person is legitimate and you are not legitimate.

• 41:20Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 41:21Conan O'Brien?

  And that's just the way it is and you have to accept it.

• 41:23Speaker 02

  Yes, and we go through the world, you know, meeting these people and feeling like that. I also do think that, you know, the Celtic gene doesn't help us.

• 41:30Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  The English are much better at it.

• 41:31Conan O'Brien?

  You know, there is a thing, there's a true suspicion when you go back to, when I go back to Ireland. Uh, and I love it there and I love the people. But I know that if you've gone off to America, if your people went off to America and then you're coming back as a television personality in America.

• 41:50Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 41:51Conan O'Brien?

  You're asking for it.

• 41:52Speaker 02

  Of course.

• 41:53Conan O'Brien?

  You know, who the fuck do you think you are?

• 41:55Speaker 02

  Oh, here he is. Bertie fucking big balls, look at him. Yeah.

• 42:01Conan O'Brien?

  Exactly, and that's the attitude when they stamp your passport. Um, and everybody's hilarious. That's the other thing I've learned and you probably have this in Wales too where I'll think, well, I've really been honing my craft. And then I get off the plane and I get in a cab and the cab driver's funnier than anyone I've ever met.

• 42:20Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 42:21Conan O'Brien?

  And that's why, and, and they won't forget a grudge. I was in Belfast, we're driving along, I was gonna do, uh, they were having some thing for Game of Thrones that they wanted me to host. It was during the last season of Game of Thrones and they said, would you come up? And I go to Belfast for the first time and I get in a cab and we're driving along and then I notice out of the, out of the side, I say, hey, it says Harland Wolf. I remembered in the way back of my mind, Harland Wolf Shipyard. That's the, that's where they made, they made the Titanic.

• 42:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 42:53Conan O'Brien?

  And I said to the, to the driver, I said, that's where they made the Titanic. He went, that's right. And I said, oh, uh, that ship, uh, didn't last too long, did it? And he went, he said, ah, the English had sunk it. He said, it was in pretty fucking good shape when we gave it to them. And I'm like, and he said it as if this was something that went down two days ago. Yeah. He's still got that chip on his shoulder. When we gave it to the English, it was, "If we didn't tell them to run it in what I thought." You fucking. And so, I mean, it just, I love, I love the old wounds that are as fresh. Oh, oh, my father still talks about 1282, you know, when, yes, when the English killed off the last of the Royal Welsh family. They're like, "Well, it all turned to shit then, didn't it?" You're like, "Well, I suppose. Yes, I don't know." So everything after 1282 has been-

• 43:36Conan O'Brien?

  Well, bollocks, yes, no, no, no wonder we're all like this, you know, we're trying to block out the world. It's been crap all ever since. To say it's all been shite. Ever since. It was plain, it was golden age up until then. Yes. Uh, we were okay until the bronze age came along. Yes, they ruined it for us. Um, you, uh, I must discuss, uh, briefly.

• 44:01Speaker 02

  The power broker.

• 44:02Conan O'Brien?

  Your lovely partner.

• 44:04Speaker 02

  Oh, yes.

• 44:04Conan O'Brien?

  She is a power broker.

• 44:06Speaker 02

  Is she a power broker? In every sense. I am a mere porn.

• 44:09Conan O'Brien?

  Do, is that true? Does she control you?

• 44:12Speaker 02

  Sorry, prawn is what she calls me. Yes.

• 44:15Conan O'Brien?

  Are you a prawn?

• 44:16Speaker 02

  In many ways, selfish to, to the nth degree.

• 44:19Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I'm just curious. I watch, uh, I'm gonna give a quick shout out to the beautiful and talented, uh, Keri Russell.

• 44:26Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:26Conan O'Brien?

  Who, uh, I'm entranced by the diplomat. She is incredible in everything she does. I was stunned to find out, and still stunned, that you two, because you're actors and you start in this series together, The Americans, you had to have a chemistry read.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:40Conan O'Brien?

  To have a chemistry read with someone who then later on becomes your life partner. It's fascinating to me because I never had a chemistry read with my wife.

• 44:49Speaker 02

  Wait, what?

• 44:50Conan O'Brien?

  And I think we should.

• 44:51Speaker 02

  Doesn't, don't you have an agent? Surely you have management. Dear God, what are they doing? Don't give them 10%.

• 44:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. I think if my wife and I had had a chemistry read, I wouldn't have children right now. The whole thing would have fallen apart. These two have nothing.

• 45:05Speaker 02

  Get her out of there!

• 45:06Conan O'Brien?

  But it caught me thinking, uh, that everyone should have a chemistry read before. I mean, essentially, that's, that's what people, some people do.

• 45:16Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 45:16Conan O'Brien?

  The Catholic Church has some version of it.

• 45:19Speaker 02

  Well, of course.

• 45:19Conan O'Brien?

  Where they, you should get together and have a conversa- some conversations in the company of a priest.

• 45:24Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 45:25Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, but that's no chemistry read, let's face it. Did you know in the chemistry read, we have real chemistry?

• 45:30Speaker 02

  No.

• 45:31Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  No, I couldn't, and, and I've, I struggle a bit with the term chemistry read because, you know, I've, I've done so many of them. They go, well, they want you to do a chemistry read. And then you go, do you mean they just want me to act with another actor? Is that what they want me to do?

• 45:43Conan O'Brien?

  It's a silly, it's a silly term.

• 45:44Speaker 02

  Yes. But, but, and then I think sometimes what they secretly do is in between the acting, they want to see if you're joking and having fun, or you might like each other, do you know what I mean? And if they might get on set, I don't, I honestly don't know.

• 45:55Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 45:55Speaker 02

  I struggle a bit with the term chemistry because I'm always like, I can pretend to like that person in the room, and then hopefully they'll give me the job, and then I'll act my best in the acting bits. But that's all pretty much I can do.

• 46:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 46:06Speaker 02

  She had to slap me in our chemistry read.

• 46:08Conan O'Brien?

  Mm-hmm.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  And, and the director said, one of the reasons, he said, we cast you is because you took that slap so well. And I went, I had no idea she was gonna slap me. It was absolu- I was reeling in shock that she did it.

• 46:21Conan O'Brien?

  It really hurts.

• 46:22Speaker 02

  Oh, I, my ears were ringing. They went, God, you took it so well. I was like, ah, it caught up with me like three days later.

• 46:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 46:28Speaker 02

  I had no idea that was happening. So, you know, there are strange happenstance like that where you go, oh, thank God, I didn't go, oh, Christ, what are you, what are you doing, woman?

• 46:36Conan O'Brien?

  Is there tape rolling on this?

• 46:38Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh, yeah.

• 46:39Conan O'Brien?

  It's so funny to me, the idea of your family being able to at any point.

• 46:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:43Conan O'Brien?

  Look at a tape of this is when our parents met each other and it's you getting the shit kicked out of you.

• 46:49Speaker 02

  Yes, yes, well, they're like, well, that must, that's like any Wednesday, really. But also.

• 46:55Conan O'Brien?

  I forgot, yes.

• 46:56Speaker 02

  What day is it?

• 46:56Conan O'Brien?

  Constant beatings.

• 46:57Speaker 02

  Of course, oh, there's that again, yeah. But, but we'd actually met about fifteen, sixteen years prior to that.

• 47:03Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, wow, okay.

• 47:04Speaker 02

  And, and at a kickball party that Jennifer Grey threw in, in Los Angeles.

• 47:08Conan O'Brien?

  Those are famous.

• 47:09Speaker 02

  Well, that's.

• 47:10Conan O'Brien?

  Those are famous, uh, debauched parties that she throws.

• 47:13Speaker 02

  Which is why I fought my way in. I was like, God damn it! There's a reason they call it dirty dancing and I'm making my way in.

• 47:20Conan O'Brien?

  It can't really mean kickball. It must mean some other kind of kickball.

• 47:24Speaker 02

  It's code. Yes. So I, at the end of the party, I'd asked for her number and I'd then very drunkenly left a message on her, you know, back in the old days when it was beep, you know? And she said some drunken Welsh idiot left her a message and that was me. So we kind of reminded ourselves of each other after that. So I'd remembered that I'd met her many, many years earlier, but it wasn't the time and place for me to go, oh, guess what? Do you remember that fateful night when I opened a beer with a key on my thumb and I was inebriated and had to walk home and left you a message with all made of consonants, not a single vowel.

• 48:00Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I remember that when we did our first podcast, and as I said, it was during Covid and you were, it looked like you were talking in a basement.

• 48:11Speaker 02

  I'm still there.

• 48:12Conan O'Brien?

  You were shrouded in darkness.

• 48:14Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 48:15Conan O'Brien?

  And it looked, it looked so sad. And then in the background, this angel walks by with a hamper of laundry.

• 48:22Speaker 02

  I know.

• 48:23Conan O'Brien?

  And I was like, ah, he's, he's Carrie Izzo.

• 48:29Conan O'Brien?

  And I put my creep glasses on and started filming, but she was. Telegram. Hey, telegram, you asshole.

• 48:35Speaker 02

  It won't work. You're on Zoom.

• 48:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 48:37Speaker 02

  Damn it.

• 48:38Conan O'Brien?

  Separated by Zoom. All my creepy tricks won't work. I want to talk about this new project and there's a little strange, I have some connection to this project that you've done, The Beast in Me.

• 48:50Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 48:50Conan O'Brien?

  Which is that early, early on, I had this production company and the wonderful and very intelligent, wise David Kissinger said, there's this script that I found that's amazing. He brought it to me. I read it. I think Jodie Foster had seen it. So Jodie came in and we just started talking about how amazing this script was. We were doing our best to try and shepherd this thing along, but once people hear Conan O'Brien's involved, everyone flees.

• 49:18Speaker 02

  That impostor.

• 49:19Conan O'Brien?

  That impostor. Yeah.

• 49:20Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 49:21Conan O'Brien?

  He's phoning it in.

• 49:22Speaker 02

  Again.

• 49:22Conan O'Brien?

  Is he wearing those glasses?

• 49:23Speaker 02

  And did you get one of his telegrams?

• 49:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 49:26Speaker 02

  They're not real, you know?

• 49:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. And so time goes by and then I find out that, oh, wait, this is actually going to happen. But I wasn't sure, for a while, we were thinking, who is gonna play this part? And then I find out it's Claire Danes. And then I find out that it's you. And I had no. No one would listen to me anyway, but someone did call me at one point and said, "What do you think of, for the part, for the, for the, the, the second lead or the, the, the co-star of it? What do you think of Matthew Reese?" And I was like, "I, I love that guy. I would, I, he is, he's got to do this. I want to have my name in something that you're in." And, and listen, I take no credit for anything. I'll demand money.

• 50:09Conan O'Brien?

  I'll make sure that I take a big enough, that I get a big enough piece that it hurts the production.

• 50:14Speaker 02

  Always, always. Why I did it for bread.

• 50:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly. Uh, but, uh, no, I, I can take no credit for anything other than I loved this script a long time ago and I, uh, very much wanted to see this make it and, um, I, I hope my name was of some use. It may have harmed.

• 50:32Speaker 02

  Well, no.

• 50:33Conan O'Brien?

  And my 70% of the profits, uh, I, I'm ashamed.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  No, you shouldn't be. No, you earned it. You've earned it and thank you for the vote of confidence.

• 50:41Conan O'Brien?

  By doing nothing, I've earned it.

• 50:42Speaker 02

  Oh, stop. It's the other thing that no one realizes, the, the amount of, the amount of years that go into development. So when people like you and Jodie Foster going, "No, this should get made." You know, it's, thank God that you do.

• 50:52Conan O'Brien?

  Jodie was a child at the time.

• 50:54Speaker 02

  Yes, she just, she'd just done Taxi Driver.

• 50:56Conan O'Brien?

  She had done Taxi Driver. I was in, I was in fourth grade, um, and I said, "I think we should make this." Um, and, uh, no one listened to us because I was in Brookline, Massachusetts. Um, and, uh,

• 51:07Speaker 02

  And she'd just done Bugsy Malone with Alan Parker.

• 51:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so, uh, no, it was a long time ago. This, people don't understand how long it takes. And these securitas roots, it's a musical for a while. Now it's an animated series.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, no, it's very true.

• 51:23Conan O'Brien?

  I was all going to be done with Cats for a while.

• 51:25Speaker 02

  Yes, well, that, they haven't ruled that out.

• 51:29Speaker 02

  But it was, it, it reminded me of, I want to be careful with this, but it, it was, there's a sense of it being an old fashioned thriller, which I haven't seen in a very long time, where a concept kind of is sometimes overpowering and overwhelming in, in certain productions these days. And what I just loved was that you have two people who are basically intrigued with each other and there, then therefore begins a very gripping and thrilling cat and mouse game. It was, it's old fashioned thriller tension. And I, I love that about it. Cause it's, it, when I read it, it did the same thing that it does when you watch it. You go, oh my God, how is this gonna unfold?

• 52:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that's how I felt, reading that script for the first time. Um, the fact that Howard Gordon is, is the, is the brain, uh, behind this.

• 52:14Speaker 02

  Well, also, you know, when I said, when, obviously it was Claire's project. So when they said, you know, Claire Danes, Howard Gordon, you know, the, the Homeland team are back together. And as soon as you hear that, you're like, okay, I'm in.

• 52:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yep. And then they said, we didn't ask you.

• 52:26Speaker 02

  I was like, I, I know, but I'm still in.

• 52:28Conan O'Brien?

  Do you just crash meetings and go, I'm in?

• 52:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. And they go, who is that? Yes. Stop saying that.

• 52:34Conan O'Brien?

  I'm in.

• 52:35Speaker 02

  Yeah. Yes. You somehow got into this room. Yeah.

• 52:37Conan O'Brien?

  You know what's funny? I've heard you say, uh, in, I think I've heard you say in more than one interview, oh, I'm not an A-list actor. I don't know. I think if you, I, I think of you, I, I don't know. Maybe, maybe actors think about that more than anyone else, but I don't see why anyone wouldn't want you first and foremost for something. Cause you're money in the bank.

• 52:56Speaker 02

  Money in the bank. You're 70% in the bank. What I, what I wanna start, what I wanna start, okay. Is in showbiz parties, just going up to other actors going, what letter are you? What letter are you? A? Are you A? Are you B? Yes. But really, how many As are there anymore? A-list, what is, I mean, truly.

• 53:11Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know what it even means.

• 53:12Speaker 02

  I would say five.

• 53:13Conan O'Brien?

  Who are they?

• 53:14Speaker 02

  I don't know. I, I don't know.

• 53:15Conan O'Brien?

  See, that's what, Biz Clipler.

• 53:17Speaker 02

  You're good old.

• 53:18Conan O'Brien?

  Chaz Maloney.

• 53:18Speaker 02

  Yes. Crazy Chaz.

• 53:20Conan O'Brien?

  Saz Datarak.

• 53:20Speaker 02

  Is he still around?

• 53:21Conan O'Brien?

  Sheila McGee.

• 53:22Speaker 02

  Sheila McGee.

• 53:23Conan O'Brien?

  See, it doesn't mean anything anymore.

• 53:25Speaker 02

  No, but who, like, uh, uh, Meryl, Mel Streep, A.

• 53:28Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, Mel Streep, A.

• 53:29Speaker 02

  Yeah. Harrison Ford, A.

• 53:31Conan O'Brien?

  No, he's fallen terribly.

• 53:32Speaker 02

  Cause he's gone to TV.

• 53:33Conan O'Brien?

  I think he's on radio now. He's doing ads.

• 53:37Conan O'Brien?

  He said, go to that car wash, it's a good one.

• 53:40Speaker 02

  If you need to land a biplane on a golf course.

• 53:42Conan O'Brien?

  But I think, but it's very personal. It's, it's, uh, you know, Meryl, it doesn't matter what your opinion is, she's up.

• 53:48Speaker 02

  A, always A.

• 53:49Conan O'Brien?

  And yeah, and Harrison Ford, yes.

• 53:50Speaker 02

  A.

• 53:51Conan O'Brien?

  He walks on screen, you go, oh my God, because you've grown up with these, some of that too is longevity. You've grown up with them.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 53:56Conan O'Brien?

  You're still a young lad.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  Ah, stuck your ways.

• 54:00Conan O'Brien?

  Stop your ways.

• 54:01Speaker 02

  Tom Cruise, another A.

• 54:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, sure.

• 54:03Speaker 02

  People who basically, when they walk on screen, you feel safe or comfortable. Cause you go, oh, we're okay now.

• 54:10Conan O'Brien?

  Right, but I think it's increasingly, increasingly maybe an irrelevant term. Everything's so fractured now.

• 54:15Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 54:16Conan O'Brien?

  We used to walk into the old movie palaces and buy our popcorn and, uh, and, and our soda pop. And we'd sit there and we'd watch the golden legends up on the screen. Those days are over. We're watching, we're watching things on an airplane. We're watching things on little screens on their phones. I watch all the Academy nominated movies on my phone.

• 54:35Speaker 02

  No, you don't.

• 54:36Conan O'Brien?

  And sometimes I think that's still too big and I crack the phone in half and I watch it then.

• 54:40Speaker 02

  Through one eye.

• 54:40Conan O'Brien?

  I thought, well, through one little, my squinty eye.

• 54:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, which one today?

• 54:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly. I'll use the left for this one.

• 54:47Speaker 02

  Yes, it's all they deserve.

• 54:48Conan O'Brien?

  So, yeah, um.

• 54:49Speaker 02

  And also we've Instagram, you know, we've read on Instagram what they've had for lunch. So there's no mystery, the mystery's gone.

• 54:54Conan O'Brien?

  Well, that's why you should stop telling people what you've had for lunch.

• 54:56Speaker 02

  Why? People love it. I had an egg mayonnaise sandwich just before I came in.

• 55:01Conan O'Brien?

  I'm, I'm 30 seconds from a heart attack. Stay off the egg mayonnaise sandwiches for God's sake. You'll do as you're told.

• 55:08Speaker 02

  And I won't, it's the devil's work and I love the devil.

• 55:10Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I just wanna get, rent a cabin with you so we can just yell at each other. Nothing sexual.

• 55:16Speaker 02

  No.

• 55:16Conan O'Brien?

  At first, but then we're just yelling at each other. Damn you, I'll have your eyes. You know, it's just you and I yelling at each other.

• 55:23Speaker 02

  It's basically immunity on the bounty.

• 55:25Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  But we're all, but we're both vying as to be, for who plays Captain Blind.

• 55:29Conan O'Brien?

  Who's blind, yeah.

• 55:30Speaker 02

  Damn your eyes, sir!

• 55:31Conan O'Brien?

  I feel terrible for one man right now and that's, his name is Eduardo. Eduardo does all of, I don't know if you can hear us, Eduardo, I hope you can.

• 55:37Speaker 02

  Is he doing this?

• 55:38Conan O'Brien?

  He is doing all the mixing right now. And, um, I think his board is probably on fire.

• 55:44Speaker 02

  Is that what we can smell?

• 55:45Conan O'Brien?

  Because you've got a Welshman and an Irishman screaming at each other. Into these very sensitive microphones and, um.

• 55:51Speaker 02

  He'll have tinnitus for life.

• 55:53Conan O'Brien?

  Exactly.

• 55:53Speaker 02

  But, well, but he'll think of us.

• 55:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and he'll know how to say tinnitus.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  And right?

• 55:57Conan O'Brien?

  Most people don't.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  What'd you say, tinnitus?

• 55:58Conan O'Brien?

  I don't even say it anymore cause I can't, I can't pronounce things over the ringing in my ear. Do you have it? I have it. I have it all the time.

• 56:04Speaker 02

  Yes, I do.

• 56:05Conan O'Brien?

  I wanna get, why did the ear horn go away? The old ear, ear trumpet that. Thumbs out that people used to in nineteen twenties movies go eh eh.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 56:13Conan O'Brien?

  I want to get one of those in my dotage.

• 56:16Speaker 02

  And then it'll be selective because you can put it to your ear depending on who's talking.

• 56:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 56:20Speaker 02

  At what time.

• 56:21Conan O'Brien?

  So exactly. And with a hearing aid, people don't know, but if I have a giant horn that I hold up to my ear, it'll be great because I'll be listening to someone else and then you'll start to talk and I'll put it down.

• 56:32Speaker 02

  Oh, it'll be the ultimate social tool.

• 56:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, the ultimate burn that what you're saying means nothing to me. It just goes down and it never comes up.

• 56:41Speaker 02

  Slow horn down. Yeah, the S H D. You got S H D'd by your, oh, yes.

• 56:46Conan O'Brien?

  So am I coming back to your house tonight? What's happening?

• 56:49Speaker 02

  Yes, I'd say we'll, we'll, we'll stop off somewhere for a few cold ones and then text Kerry that we're on the way.

• 56:54Conan O'Brien?

  Two cold ones meaning ice for our ass.

• 56:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 56:57Speaker 02

  Two five pound bags, please.

• 56:59Conan O'Brien?

  Would you like some ice?

• 56:59Speaker 02

  No, we brought our own.

• 57:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. We both blow on our thumbs and it comes shooting out.

• 57:03Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 57:04Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, come on, David. Grow up.

• 57:06Speaker 02

  It's not the first time.

• 57:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, Jesus Christ. David's had to, David's had to insert it most of the time.

• 57:11Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 57:12Conan O'Brien?

  Ice me, David. No, sheen me. Sheen me, David. Sheen me up.

• 57:16Speaker 02

  Sheen me. Do you have Mr. Sheen in this country, the part of the furniture polish?

• 57:19Conan O'Brien?

  I, I talked to him on the podcast last week.

• 57:21Speaker 02

  Last week?

• 57:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I don't know when this one, this one's coming out soon, isn't it? Okay, yeah. So, uh, yes, I talked to the man. He's doing well. Good. He's fine. He's in good, fine fettle.

• 57:30Speaker 02

  Great.

• 57:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  Good.

• 57:32Conan O'Brien?

  Your eyes just went dead because I was talking about another actor.

• 57:34Speaker 02

  Yes, well, there's three, I was holding, I was actually holding three sheens in my head. I had Charlie Sheen, obviously, his wonderful father.

• 57:45Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, Martin Sheen.

• 57:46Speaker 02

  Martin. And then also Michael Sheen, a fellow Welshman.

• 57:49Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, terrific actor.

• 57:50Speaker 02

  Is responsible for this one man, Richard Burton, because he's taken over the National, Welsh National Theatre and said, come and do something in Wales. And I went, I'll come and do it.

• 57:56Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I, I admire you.

• 57:58Speaker 02

  Well, thank you.

• 57:59Conan O'Brien?

  I'd like to grow up and be you one day, only I'm older than you. Um, I can tell, my wife today, she's in New York with me, saw that I had a little joy in my step today. And I said, I'm seeing Mr. Matthew Rees and I couldn't be happier. Well, you're hilariously funny and you're a joy to be around. I hear you're a monster on set.

• 58:18Speaker 02

  True.

• 58:19Conan O'Brien?

  But I wasn't on set. So I don't care. And I just wish you all good things. I really do.

• 58:23Speaker 02

  Well, thank you very much. I appreciate those words enormously, especially coming from you.

• 58:28Conan O'Brien?

  That's such a great man.

• 58:29Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 58:29Conan O'Brien?

  Let's elaborate on that.

• 58:30Speaker 02

  So I'm sorry, as, as a great man.

• 58:32Conan O'Brien?

  Maybe the greatest, maybe the greatest man.

• 58:33Speaker 02

  Possible. I was trying to get to that, possibly the great.

• 58:36Conan O'Brien?

  Get sooner, sooner.

• 58:36Speaker 02

  Sorry, sorry. The greatest man I've ever met.

• 58:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, maybe the greatest comic of all time.

• 58:41Speaker 02

  Well, that goes without question. Why it's written here. What, sorry.

• 58:45Conan O'Brien?

  We rehearse this.

• 58:46Speaker 02

  I'm sorry. What else am I supposed to say again?

• 58:51Conan O'Brien?

  It's all so embarrassing.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 58:54Conan O'Brien?

  Go, go with the gods, old friend. Be well.

• 58:57Speaker 02

  Thank you very much and a joy to be here as always. So thank you for the invite.

• 59:08Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 59:10Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:10Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 59:25Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 59:38Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 59:58Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 59:58Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 1:00:33Conan O'Brien?

  Did you know that one in four Americans targeted by scams end up falling for them?

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:00:37Conan O'Brien?

  You fell for one.

• 1:00:38Speaker 01

  I fell for a scam.

• 1:00:39Conan O'Brien?

  Now, you didn't lose too much money, but you did lose.

• 1:00:42Speaker 01

  I did lose, and it was very inconvenient, and now they put protections on my account like I'm, uh, dumb.

• 1:00:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I don't know where they got that impression. Criminals are now using AI to make scams look more realistic than ever. In 2025, AI fraud spiked 1,210% and cost Americans $893 million. That's incredible. Well, with AI, it can get so smart now.

• 1:01:08Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:08Conan O'Brien?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 1:01:09Speaker 01

  Maybe I should start scamming.

• 1:01:10Conan O'Brien?

  No, that's not the point.

• 1:01:11Speaker 01

  Oh, no, that's not the point of this.

• 1:01:12Conan O'Brien?

  That's not the point.

• 1:01:13Speaker 01

  It's so much money.

• 1:01:14Conan O'Brien?

  One accidental click, Sona, can expose your information, putting you at risk of identity theft. Luckily, this is the point, not that you should start scamming, but that everyone should get LifeLock.

• 1:01:23Speaker 01

  Right, right, right, right, right.

• 1:01:24Conan O'Brien?

  LifeLock has live US-based restoration specialists who will be with you every step of the way to fix your identity theft from first alert to full restoration. This is fantastic. How do you not have this?

• 1:01:36Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:01:36Conan O'Brien?

  If you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. Join now and save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan, that's lifelock.com/conan, to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 1:01:54Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 1:01:59Speaker 01

  My kids.

• 1:01:59Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  Or Okie.

• 1:02:00Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta get them your stuff.

• 1:02:00Speaker 01

  Or my dog.

• 1:02:01Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that, uh, that cinnamon cider in the air. Do you smell that?

• 1:02:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:11Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:02:16Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't matter. Holidays, I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's, uh, very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season, shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  Last week, we were doing a State of the Podcast, and it got sidetracked by Sona and the Brazilian Butt Lift, which is not a new Indiana Jones movie.

• 1:02:58Conan O'Brien?

  But it is a children's story. It's a children's book coming out soon. And Sona and the Brazilian Butt Lift.

• 1:03:04Speaker 06

  Mommy, that's my favorite book.

• 1:03:07Speaker 03

  This is part two where we do intend to-

• 1:03:09Conan O'Brien?

  So Adam, we interrupted you because you were listing our incredible accolades and successes. And I got embarrassed and we got off track.

• 1:03:15Speaker 07

  Lots of awards, great guests. And I was talking about how we've started doing full-

• 1:03:21Speaker 06

  Lots of awards.

• 1:03:24Conan O'Brien?

  A major award.

• 1:03:26Speaker 07

  We started doing a full-length video in May, and numbers are great. And again, the concern was, is it incremental audience? Or are we just taking people away from the podcasting? Now, the interesting thing is, on the history of the podcast, delivery has been RSS. So-

• 1:03:43Speaker 03

  You know what that is, Conan.

• 1:03:44Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't.

• 1:03:44Speaker 07

  When people have listened to podcasts in the past, when you use the podcast app, you're getting an RSS feed delivering you the podcast. And you have to subscribe to that, right? So subscribers to the podcast will get the podcast every week. And we have built up a huge audience in podcasting over the past seven years on the podcast app. People have subscribed.

• 1:04:03Speaker 03

  Yep.

• 1:04:03Speaker 07

  The interesting thing about YouTube is we have a very large YouTube channel, over 9 million subscribers on YouTube. When we put out-

• 1:04:11Conan O'Brien?

  Unrelated to the podcast.

• 1:04:12Speaker 07

  Completely unrelated.

• 1:04:13Conan O'Brien?

  That's Conan content from before you chimps entered the picture.

• 1:04:16Speaker 07

  That's very true. That was built on TBS content and lots of-

• 1:04:21Conan O'Brien?

  One man's dreams.

• 1:04:22Speaker 03

  We're keeping him subscribed.

• 1:04:24Speaker 07

  But the interesting thing about YouTube is when we put a podcast video on that channel that has 9 million subscribers, about half of the views to our podcast video come from non-subscribers. Meaning that YouTube has-

• 1:04:39Speaker 03

  Algorithmically suckered those bitches in.

• 1:04:41Speaker 07

  Algorithmically is exactly the word. YouTube is serving our content to people who didn't subscribe.

• 1:04:47Conan O'Brien?

  Who actively dislike me.

• 1:04:48Speaker 07

  I mean, I doubt it. I think YouTube thinks that they're gonna like this content. And so it's sharing the content more and more, which is actually awesome because it's growing our- The old legacy podcast is a very deliberate act. You know, you had to subscribe, then you get your podcasts. This is like, we're growing our audience on YouTube because all these people who didn't already subscribe are getting fed the content and watching the content.

• 1:05:10Conan O'Brien?

  So we're an invasive weed.

• 1:05:14Conan O'Brien?

  Best description I've ever heard on this podcast.

• 1:05:17Speaker 01

  Is Conan gonna be like a YouTube personality though? Should he be like, hey, smash that like button and subscribe?

• 1:05:24Speaker 07

  Yes, we probably, the crazy thing is, and I, we talked about this a little bit on the last time, but like podcast, because podcasts are becoming so, are distributed so much on YouTube as a billion people a month are watching podcasts on YouTube, which is a crazy number. The sort of podcast world and the YouTuber world, Sona, that you're talking about, they're kind of merging.

• 1:05:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:43Speaker 07

  Like podcasters and YouTubers are all part of this larger creator economy.

• 1:05:46Conan O'Brien?

  Wow.

• 1:05:47Speaker 07

  Now, and you're, you're there.

• 1:05:49Conan O'Brien?

  It's hilarious that no one has sat me down, including you, and talked to me about any of this. I'm s-

• 1:05:55Speaker 01

  Is this about what this is?

• 1:05:56Speaker 07

  That's what this is for.

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  This is what this is.

• 1:05:58Conan O'Brien?

  I know, I know, I'm, I'm- We can't sit you down unless there's a microphone in front of you, so, you know. Or a camera, turns out. Um, that's incredible.

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  You should become more of like a YouTuber, like do some pranks and like-

• 1:06:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Yeah.

• 1:06:12Speaker 01

  Unbox stuff.

• 1:06:14Conan O'Brien?

  I'm gonna start unboxing stuff. Yeah. Um- Here, drink this urine.

• 1:06:21Conan O'Brien?

  I don't even know enough about YouTube stuff.

• 1:06:24Speaker 01

  I don't either.

• 1:06:25Speaker 07

  Well, I will say, Conan, sorry to interrupt you, but the, the other, the thing that you've joked about a bunch now, which is becoming more and more true, is that you're back to hosting a late night show because-

• 1:06:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:06:36Speaker 07

  Not only is YouTube the number one destination for people to listen to podcasts, it's also the number one streaming platform now, and the number one thing that people are watching on TV in their living rooms. So you have essentially just gone back and created another talk show.

• 1:06:49Conan O'Brien?

  I make this joke repeatedly, but it's so funny to me that I deliberately left late night after 28 years. I loved it, I enjoyed every second, I said, that's good, I'm gonna go now, um, I'm gonna do my little podcast, I'm gonna do my little travel show for HBO Max, um, I hope they always call it HBO Max and don't start messing with the name.

• 1:07:11Speaker 07

  Uh oh.

• 1:07:12Conan O'Brien?

  And then, um, everything, you know, that was it. Uh, and I'll work on my body at the request of everyone, and then this-

• 1:07:21Speaker 01

  My body.

• 1:07:22Conan O'Brien?

  What? Well, people said, "You've gotta fix that body." That was the big thing I heard.

• 1:07:26Speaker 01

  I just don't like the way you worded it. It's weird.

• 1:07:28Conan O'Brien?

  Mmm, body. Anyway, now, we're doing this podcast and it keeps growing. And people started to say things like, "We should do some in front of an audience." "And if there's an audience, we should have Jimmy Vivino there and some band, and other people in the band." "It'd be really funny if you came out first and warmed up the crowd." "Now you should do a monologue and then call out the other guys and do this podcast." "Hey, it'd be really good if we put this up on YouTube." And now people are telling me, "I love your show." And I'm like, "It's not a show!" It's a little podcast. But it doesn't matter to me. It's fun, it's organic, we're having a blast. I'm not asking, I'm telling you. It's, uh, it's really enjoyable. And all joking aside, Uh-oh.

• 1:08:09Conan O'Brien?

  You're not gonna like this, but we have a secret sauce here with you guys. It's really, it's a really nice environment. I never know what's gonna happen. Uh, I'd be miserable if I was here alone. And, uh, you guys are really funny and this is lovely. I'm having a really good time. I'll bring some air into that. Yeah.

• 1:08:27Speaker 01

  Yeah, that's very nice of you to say, thank you. It's all led by you, boss.

• 1:08:30Conan O'Brien?

  There you go.

• 1:08:31Speaker 01

  Oh, man! You ruined it!

• 1:08:34Conan O'Brien?

  You shouldn't have handed it back to me.

• 1:08:35Speaker 01

  I know, but I was, you were being sincere, so I was sincere back to you.

• 1:08:39Conan O'Brien?

  I was so sincere to get you to hand it back to me. Yes, I lead the way and it would never happen without me. Well, that's it for the state of the show. Adam, this has been a good pep talk. Thank you. And also, thank you to Adam.

• 1:08:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, thank you.

• 1:08:50Conan O'Brien?

  Very much. His leadership, his, uh, common sense. Of course, Eduardo, always there, working the knobs, guiding us. Thank you. Uh, at the helm, taking care of us. Blaze, shouting into the microphone, things we don't need to hear. Um, uh, just, what a lovely, lovely...

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  Such a fun group of people.

• 1:09:08Conan O'Brien?

  It's a fun group. It's a fun group. It's a highlight of my day, every day.

• 1:09:11Speaker 01

  It's, did, did you hear anything about the advertisers mad that we talk still a lot about, like, a lot of jizz and stuff? Like, did they... They don't mind it?

• 1:09:19Conan O'Brien?

  No, they don't mind.

• 1:09:19Speaker 01

  Check us out!

• 1:09:20Conan O'Brien?

  Now we're getting, yeah, now we're getting, uh, jizz only for... I was gonna say, your sponsorship is Jizz Monthly, so it's, it's appropriate. The Magazinator? Yeah. If you shot some jizz and you don't know where it is, use the Jizzinator.

• 1:09:32Speaker 01

  We won the Jizzy for best podcast.

• 1:09:34Conan O'Brien?

  We won the Jizzy?

• 1:09:37Conan O'Brien?

  And you beat Jizz Taylor. Yeah, yeah. And we've been invited to New Orleans Jizz Fest.

• 1:09:43Conan O'Brien?

  And trust me, you gotta wear a raincoat to that thing.

• 1:09:47Conan O'Brien?

  Fan of the podcast, stronger than ever!

• 1:09:53Speaker 03

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:10:13Speaker 03

  Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:11:01Speaker 08

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• 1:11:32Speaker 09

  This podcast is supported by Nurtec ODT, RemedyPant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nurtec. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nurtec can provide pain relief in two hours which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nurtec is right for you because your time is for you, not migraine. Don't take If Allergic to Nurtac ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use. Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynaud's Syndrome can occur.

• 1:12:14Speaker 09

  Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NUR-TAC or visit nurtec.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.