Ayo Edebiri

Actress, comedian, and writer Ayo Edebiri feels optimistic about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Ayo sits down with Conan to discuss being awarded her very own day in the city of Boston, how her parents set her up for a career trajectory in writing and performance, expressing her unique physical comedy, and going from co-star to directing an episode of The Bear’s third season. Later, Conan tests his mettle by attempting to distinguish the members of his team from one another. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:04Conan O'Brien?

  You know what's the worst? When you can't find what you need to do your job. I hate that.

• 0:09Speaker 01

  Yeah, like a pencil.

• 0:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. No, I was thinking more, um, competent people around me.

• 0:19Conan O'Brien?

  But yeah, sure, pencil. Let's go with pencil. Maybe you can relate. It's like your business is stuck in the dark ages with data scattered all over and you have to send men in tights out to find it. Well, noble business people, EverPure lets you see and manage all your data from one simple place, no matter where it lives, so you can do your job. Right?

• 0:41Speaker 01

  Why'd you get an accent?

• 0:42Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know, I was a little bit of a character. You can do your job. Get out of the data dark ages at everpuredata.com.

• 0:54Conan O'Brien?

  Now, Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.

• 0:57Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:57Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 0:59Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:59Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 1:05Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 1:06Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 1:09Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 1:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 1:12Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, that jacket, nice jacket.

• 1:13Conan O'Brien?

  So now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 1:15Speaker 01

  Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 1:17Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 1:29Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:29Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place. You can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 1:54Speaker 02

  Hi, my name is Ayoadebri.

• 1:59Speaker 02

  And I feel optimistic, hopefully not a misguided optimism,

• 2:04Conan O'Brien?

  Oh wow.

• 2:04Speaker 02

  about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

• 2:29Conan O'Brien?

  Hello there and welcome aboard the good ship. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. I'm the captain, Conan. Of course, there's the cruise director, son of Obsession.

• 2:38Speaker 02

  Oh, hell yeah. I'd be a great cruise director.

• 2:40Conan O'Brien?

  Julian, working down there in the engine room, covered in grease, Matt Gourley.

• 2:45Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:45Conan O'Brien?

  Never, you never get to come topside.

• 2:47Speaker 03

  No, I thought you were gonna call me gopher.

• 2:49Conan O'Brien?

  No. Oh, God, no. Around the, around the other passengers, no. No, you're down, you are covered in grease, your heart of hearing because of the giant turbines turning all the time.

• 2:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:59Conan O'Brien?

  You're rarely allowed out. In fact, when the ship is sinking, you're not even told it's sinking.

• 3:03Speaker 02

  Aww.

• 3:05Conan O'Brien?

  Listen, you know I love you, man.

• 3:07Speaker 03

  Do I?

• 3:07Conan O'Brien?

  I don't think you could.

• 3:09Speaker 03

  I know, I don't.

• 3:09Conan O'Brien?

  Not based on-

• 3:10Speaker 03

  There's never been a single sign that you love me, so I don't know.

• 3:14Conan O'Brien?

  Not based on my behavior towards you, certainly.

• 3:16Speaker 03

  Certainly not what other people say. No facts, no evidence.

• 3:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 3:20Speaker 03

  I think you hate me, sir.

• 3:21Conan O'Brien?

  I do not hate you.

• 3:22Speaker 03

  You just don't like me.

• 3:23Conan O'Brien?

  No. I think it's, oh, God, what's the word? There's indifference.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  Oh, that's almost worse.

• 3:31Conan O'Brien?

  Leaning towards rage.

• 3:34Speaker 03

  That's worse, yeah.

• 3:35Conan O'Brien?

  Rage diff- rage diff- I don't have a word for it. But listen, no, I, of course, I respect you. I think you do a great job. I can't look you in the eye when I'm lying.

• 3:47Speaker 03

  No, and it's just respect is a begrudging respect.

• 3:50Conan O'Brien?

  It's a begrudging respect, that's true. I just want to make sure, because we're recording this a little ahead of time, and, you know, one of the things we don't do is we're not very topical on this podcast. But now I've got it in my head today, because I don't think this is gonna drop for a while. We really can't be topical.

• 4:08Speaker 03

  Right.

• 4:09Speaker 01

  No.

• 4:09Conan O'Brien?

  You know what I mean? Uh, so I don't want anyone saying, "Well, you know, next week is that big national holiday," or, "Hey, in two days."

• 4:20Speaker 03

  But we do know when this is coming out.

• 4:22Speaker 01

  I know.

• 4:23Speaker 03

  So we can say things like, "Fourth of July is just around the corner."

• 4:26Speaker 01

  I know.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  You don't, you still don't understand how this works.

• 4:31Conan O'Brien?

  I see, I'm suspicious of that. What if we say that, and then for some reason this gets bumped? You know, because, uh, some huge figure says, "I'll do the podcast," but it has to air on that day, and we go, "Huh, we've already got this all set for someone else," and it has to move.

• 4:47Speaker 03

  Well, what if they move Fourth of July?

• 4:48Conan O'Brien?

  And then we're saying, "Wow, Fourth of July."

• 4:49Speaker 03

  You never know what Trump's gonna do.

• 4:51Conan O'Brien?

  And people look out the window, and it's snowing.

• 4:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:52Conan O'Brien?

  But it's still Fourth of July, and they live in Antarctica.

• 4:55Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 4:56Conan O'Brien?

  So you see the twist I put at the end?

• 4:57Speaker 01

  Twist? What, are you just saying that we don't have big names right now? And if we have one, everyone gets bumped?

• 5:03Conan O'Brien?

  No, these are big names. I'm talking about the new pope from Chicago.

• 5:07Speaker 01

  He's not coming on this stupid podcast.

• 5:10Conan O'Brien?

  My cellphone, I'm just saying, what if my cellphone rings, and I pick it up, and I go, "Hey, Conan there?" And I go, "Hello?" And he goes, "This is the new pope." And I go, "Wow, oh my God. It's incredible. Congratulations." Yeah, I'm thinking I, you know, I used to be down in, uh, Chicago, and on Diversey, I'd be driving down Diversey, and I'd be like, you know, I, I mean, I don't like, well, I like white socks. I'm not a Cubs guy. Anyhow, and I'd be getting my sausage, and I was thinking, "I like this Conan podcast. I'll do it someday if I become pope. Probably a 50/50 chance."

• 5:42Speaker 01

  That's a good Chicago.

• 5:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and then he, you know, and you know, and again, now we are getting topical, but if he wanted to do the podcast, that would bump anybody.

• 5:51Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:51Conan O'Brien?

  And also, I would want to ask him, did you use some of your Chicago ways to influence the conclave?

• 5:57Speaker 01

  What are you saying?

• 5:59Speaker 03

  Like, they bring a knife, you bring a gun, kind of thing?

• 6:01Conan O'Brien?

  Exactly.

• 6:01Speaker 03

  They bring, uh, black smoke, you bring white smoke.

• 6:03Conan O'Brien?

  He was in there just going like, "Oh, really? You're gonna vote for that guy, eh? Oh, that guy from Portugal, eh?"

• 6:09Speaker 03

  Maybe at the conclave, he was walking around behind them with a baseball bat.

• 6:11Conan O'Brien?

  I don't, I see, you're going- One very cartoonish and very big.

• 6:14Speaker 03

  I apologize.

• 6:15Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, you shouldn't apologize. I begrudgingly.

• 6:18Speaker 01

  It was intimidation.

• 6:19Speaker 03

  Yeah, I forgot this was a sober and serious podcast.

• 6:21Conan O'Brien?

  I think it's more like, hey, you want, you wanted, remember when you wanted to help move in that couch? You know, you had that place over on Sheffield. Remember when you had that place on Sheffield? I hope you helped you move the couch.

• 6:33Speaker 01

  You're saying Matt's cartoony?

• 6:35Conan O'Brien?

  Uh huh.

• 6:35Speaker 01

  Cause whatever this is.

• 6:38Conan O'Brien?

  My Pope did a lot of, my Pope, he did a lot of favors for people and also.

• 6:42Speaker 03

  Your Pope is Dennis Farina.

• 6:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, he's kind of like, he did a lot of favors for people and also he knows the cops. He'll take care of that ticket for you.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  Yeah, but they were in Rome.

• 6:51Conan O'Brien?

  What's that?

• 6:52Speaker 01

  They weren't even in Chicago. Why is he bringing up sofas he moved for people?

• 6:55Conan O'Brien?

  Cause he was always playing the game. He was always saying like, hey, you from, where are you? Yeah, yeah, where from? You're from Thailand, eh? Yeah, hey, you moving out of that place? Yes, I'm moving out of that. Yeah, I can help you out. Couch, I got some guys that can move it for you. You don't have to hire anybody, you see.

• 7:13Speaker 03

  Is it like he's, it's like he's controlling the altar boy union or you know?

• 7:17Conan O'Brien?

  He's just got his fingers in every pie. That incense fell off the back of a truck. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah, that just fell out of back of a truck. Hey, don't be asking a lot of questions.

• 7:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:28Conan O'Brien?

  You know, and um, he becomes Pope.

• 7:31Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:32Conan O'Brien?

  Cause he's just working it.

• 7:33Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:34Conan O'Brien?

  Anyway, my original point is if my cell phone rings and I hear, Ace, uh, I asked a buddy of a buddy of a buddy and he says, I got Conan's number. Is this your number there, Conan? I'm like, yeah, this is my number. Hey, you know, I'd like to come on that bad cast there. That'd be great.

• 7:51Speaker 03

  Bad cast.

• 7:53Conan O'Brien?

  I'd come on that.

• 7:54Speaker 03

  Bad cast.

• 7:54Conan O'Brien?

  I'd like to come on that bad cast. You know, and now we could, we could get some, some sausage and we could close down a couple of streets for maybe a Blues Fest. And then we could have that, you know, anyway, and then I'd be like, shit, we gotta bump the guest today.

• 8:11Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 8:12Conan O'Brien?

  So that we can have that Pope on, you know what I mean?

• 8:16Speaker 01

  I'm glad you didn't stay topical.

• 8:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 8:18Speaker 01

  Cause that's, that was really important.

• 8:20Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, these popes don't change too fast. This guy's gonna be around a long time.

• 8:24Speaker 01

  I know, but he's not gonna be the new Pope and when this airs, probably.

• 8:27Conan O'Brien?

  It's still a big deal.

• 8:29Speaker 01

  Is it?

• 8:29Conan O'Brien?

  Eduardo's nodding his head.

• 8:31Speaker 01

  He's still, he's still gonna be considered new?

• 8:33Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, you think in June, the fact that there's a Pope from the South Side of Chicago is gonna be an old story? This is big news.

• 8:41Speaker 01

  Is it that big?

• 8:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, it's huge. He's new for at least a year. How old, how old is he?

• 8:46Speaker 03

  It's like a honeymoon, like a newlywed, you're a newlywed for a year.

• 8:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 8:49Speaker 03

  You're a new Pope for-

• 8:49Conan O'Brien?

  He's gonna be a new Pope. And also the fact that he's from the South Side of Chicago. When he came out on the balcony, he was wearing a white Saks uniform.

• 8:57Speaker 03

  What, what happens if we have Jude Law on who was in a show called The New Pope? And then we have to bump him for The New Pope?

• 9:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yep. What do you fuck, what do you fucking got this, this Gourley working for you?

• 9:09Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you got a good role and this guy brings up Jude. What the fuck is a Jude Law? What the hell is that all about? How's he helping you? It's a deep dish Pope. Yeah. Oh, and who the fuck is that Blay guy making jokes other people have already made on the internet? What the fuck? You're trying to do original material and you got these two weights around your neck?

• 9:30Speaker 03

  Are you the Pope saying, what the fuck?

• 9:32Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 9:33Speaker 03

  Oh, okay.

• 9:33Conan O'Brien?

  This is very, you're, you're, it's borderline Andrew Dice Clay Pope.

• 9:36Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly. And by the way, uh, he did some good work, a lot of good work, Andrew Dice Clay. And he's also be, he is, he has matured into a very fine actor. He's been, he's worked with Scorsese a lot. So I'm not gonna have him put down on my watch.

• 9:49Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 9:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. I, I love you. Did you know that?

• 9:51Speaker 03

  A lot?

• 9:52Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. That's not a put down. I think it's- I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

• 9:55Speaker 03

  What's the problem here?

• 9:56Conan O'Brien?

  And Blay, when did you see anything in this conversation that made you think, I better get in there and help? I better jump in and save the day.

• 10:04Speaker 03

  You're welcome. You're welcome here, Blay.

• 10:06Conan O'Brien?

  I better jump in and save the day. This is a very anti-Pope sentiment coming from you, isn't it? It's not! Welcoming everyone in.

• 10:13Speaker 01

  It is.

• 10:13Conan O'Brien?

  Edward, did you think this was anti-Pope? I love this Pope. No, I know, I... It's not. What do you mean? I think you, I think the Pope is very welcoming everyone in. You're being very anti-Pope right now. How? How?

• 10:25Speaker 01

  You said he strong-armed his way into Popehood.

• 10:28Conan O'Brien?

  Wait a minute, you think that me implying that this Pope used all of his Chicago muscle to get the Popehood meant that, and yeah, it's called the Popehood.

• 10:36Speaker 03

  That's not what he's saying. He's saying you're Conan, you role-playing as the Pope, you're being very anti-Pope by not welcoming anybody into this conversation.

• 10:44Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, oh, that's just...

• 10:45Speaker 01

  Oh, that? I thought you were just shitting on the Pope.

• 10:48Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

• 10:49Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 10:50Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, and listen, you know, I apologize. And I think it takes a big man to apologize. I apologize to you, Matt, for ever questioning your addition to this conversation. And Blay, when you jumped in, you know, and said that he's the deep-dish Pope, I don't think anyone said that yet. That, big, big, congrats to you. So, and thank you both. So, let's get into it.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  Yeah, he lived in Peru for like 20 years, right?

• 11:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but, you know.

• 11:16Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm just wondering.

• 11:17Conan O'Brien?

  Was he really there as much as he said he was?

• 11:19Speaker 01

  Yes, I think he was.

• 11:20Conan O'Brien?

  I think he was leaving a lot on weekends to go to the White Sox games, you know, and check out the Blues Fest.

• 11:26Speaker 01

  The accent is still so thick for just having lived in Peru for 20 years, but okay.

• 11:31Conan O'Brien?

  Was he really there the whole 20 years?

• 11:33Speaker 01

  I think he was. Yeah, I think it's okay.

• 11:35Conan O'Brien?

  Let's check those playing records. I think he's bopping back and forth. He's like, "Yeah, I gotta go to O'Hare. I gotta get to O'Hare. And then I gotta take diversity to Sheffield. And then I gotta see the Blues Fest and get some sausage, and I'll get back to Peru." Quit your...

• 11:55Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know, I guess I'm going to hell, or maybe I'm in hell now. Maybe this is hell. My guest today is a hilarious writer, actor, director, and comedian who stars in the hit Hulu series The Bear.

• 12:04Speaker 01

  Hey!

• 12:05Conan O'Brien?

  To, and guess what, let me tell you something.

• 12:07Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 12:07Conan O'Brien?

  She's a huge star, and so when you said, "Hey," you implying we don't get big stars? We get all the big, we get the biggest in the...

• 12:12Speaker 03

  And that show takes place in Chicago.

• 12:13Speaker 01

  That's what I was saying. That's why I said, "Hey," 'cause The Bear takes place in Chicago.

• 12:18Conan O'Brien?

  Chicago. I'm excited she's here today.

• 12:26Conan O'Brien?

  Io, Adebri, welcome.

• 12:32Conan O'Brien?

  You came in, and I gotta admit, I'm a little high-energy today.

• 12:36Speaker 02

  Oh, no.

• 12:37Conan O'Brien?

  And also, you're one of those people where I start doing bits right away.

• 12:41Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 12:42Conan O'Brien?

  We ran into each other at, I don't know if it was an Oscar thing or whatever. You and I were somewhere, I hadn't, I don't think that we had really formally met each other. And both of us doing bits right away like idiots.

• 12:54Speaker 02

  Foul, foul behavior in public.

• 12:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, but then you did me this great kindness, which is my children, and this is to their credit, they're not having the whole Conan O'Brien shtick, never have, never been into it. You made a quick video for my daughter, who adores you, and you made a video where you basically said, "No, no, your dad's okay."

• 13:15Speaker 02

  That's true.

• 13:16Conan O'Brien?

  And I sent that to my daughter, and it got me like 24 hours of solid street cred. But didn't it look like she was in like a hostage situation? It kinda did.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  Yeah, because I had my gun up to my head anyway, so I brought my gun.

• 13:29Conan O'Brien?

  She did it all herself. She held herself hostage while she made me a hostage video.

• 13:34Speaker 02

  I always carry on a gun in a newspaper, a lady must. A lady must. But that wasn't the, well, that was the first time that we met, but do you remember the first time we should have met?

• 13:44Conan O'Brien?

  We should have met when I saw you way across the street, or I thought I saw you, but I wasn't sure it was you, and I was with my real assistant, the one who actually does things for me, David Hopping. Come on, you've been phoning it in for like eight years. Oh, you trained him?

• 13:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, I trained him.

• 13:57Conan O'Brien?

  If you trained him, he wouldn't be doing shit.

• 14:01Conan O'Brien?

  But anyway.

• 14:01Speaker 02

  This is a dragger, this is like a, like I was gonna say a dragger, but that doesn't make sense, but I just like the idea, let's all drag each other.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  Okay, I'm down.

• 14:09Conan O'Brien?

  You're welcome to that show. Welcome to.

• 14:11Speaker 01

  It's my way of, just fu- fuck you.

• 14:14Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, that's a terrible thing to say.

• 14:15Speaker 02

  We're gonna try it anyway.

• 14:16Conan O'Brien?

  You just said that to Io, that's terrible. Yeah, that's not nice. Io, that's terrible. You made Io cry. Fuck everybody. People love her. Okay. What was that all about, Sona? Fuck all of you. Oh, that's... That's how I drag. No. I'm not good at it. Um, no, what happened was I was with David and we were trying to figure out there's a group of people across a wide street and we're looking and we're thinking, is that Io? And we weren't sure. And then I thought, should I cross the street? And say, hi, are you Io? And then I thought, no, don't do that. I don't need, I didn't know what to do, so I didn't do it. And I didn't realize that you guys...

• 14:55Speaker 02

  So it was me, Lionel Boyce, who's also on Bear with Me, and then Tyler, the Creator, and then one of our other friends. So it's like, we're like four black people on Launchpad, basically. And then we're like, why is this, like, there's this white guy across the street who's really tall and he's walking kinda weird. And then...

• 15:12Conan O'Brien?

  I have a limp.

• 15:13Speaker 02

  And then I was like, well, that's, well, that's like, that's surely Conan O'Brien. Like, look at his head. And we were...

• 15:20Conan O'Brien?

  Look at his head.

• 15:22Speaker 02

  And then Lionel was like, don't be racist. Like, you can't just see like a tall, white guy and be like, that's Conan. And he was like, and Conan wouldn't walk like that also. But then like, now that I'm also thinking about you, like, you had this group of like, four black people being like, well, surely I can't cross the street and just be like, are you, are you the famous one thing? And then, and then also we were like, oh, that's, well, he was kinda walking funny because he kept kinda looking back. But we were in this like weird Mexican standoff of like recognition.

• 15:47Conan O'Brien?

  Also, you guys were kind of partway behind a tree?

• 15:50Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 15:51Conan O'Brien?

  And, and so I see... We were hiding. I see, yeah. And, um, you know, I, and so I, I said to David and he was like, I'm not sure. And then, I mean, David is welcome to come in at any point and straighten out this mix-up. Uh, he might be off doing some real, running some real errands. Oh, just training me, okay. Well, I'm sorry, Sona. I trained him. I taught him everything. You didn't teach him anything? Yeah. But we were trying to figure it out. David wasn't sure. We weren't sure. And then we got upstairs and I was like, I'm telling you, I'm sure that was Io. And I wish I had gone across the street and said something. Is this the first time you guys have confirmed this and talked about this? Yeah.

• 16:21Speaker 02

  No, we talked about it at...

• 16:23Conan O'Brien?

  This Oscars party or something, I think.

• 16:25Speaker 02

  Or SNL maybe or something.

• 16:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, okay, David. Here, David, you can take my mic. You can take this mic right here. Take someone's mic and confirm.

• 16:33Speaker 02

  David, your disposition has been called out as sunny before, yes?

• 16:36Speaker 01

  That's nice. I think so. I don't know.

• 16:38Speaker 02

  Amazing, amazing disposition.

• 16:40Conan O'Brien?

  By the way, this is David in a terrible mood.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  I know.

• 16:43Conan O'Brien?

  Hello, how are you?

• 16:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, I heard we're all yelling at each other.

• 16:45Conan O'Brien?

  So, David, confirm what happened. You weren't sure it was I.O. I wasn't sure it was I.O.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  Yeah, and you were about to yell across the street, and I was like, you can't just yell.

• 16:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 16:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:56Conan O'Brien?

  And there was a fear of, what if I'm wrong?

• 16:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 16:59Conan O'Brien?

  And then I'm that guy who's just like misidentifying.

• 17:04Speaker 02

  Black people, it's okay, yeah.

• 17:06Conan O'Brien?

  A black person, and I didn't want to do that. No, you can't even say that anymore.

• 17:09Speaker 02

  So true.

• 17:10Conan O'Brien?

  But I didn't want to be that person.

• 17:13Speaker 02

  But then also, we were like, well, we can't just be like accosting tall white people and being like, are you like, are you one of the most famously tall white men of all time?

• 17:25Speaker 02

  So, but then I felt like we were just kind of like getting closer and farther away at the same time.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  And then we just kept walking.

• 17:30Conan O'Brien?

  It was the perfect, it's a two-lane, there's traffic going two ways. So it's not a narrow street.

• 17:36Speaker 02

  It wouldn't have worked even under like better circumstances, like too much was going on.

• 17:41Conan O'Brien?

  I know. But, you know, we're here.

• 17:42Speaker 02

  We are here now.

• 17:43Conan O'Brien?

  We're together. I'm so happy you're on the show. We have a lot to talk about because you were raised in Dorchester.

• 17:49Speaker 02

  Yes, sir.

• 17:49Conan O'Brien?

  In Boston, and I, of course, come from the nasty side of town in Brookline, Mass.

• 17:56Speaker 02

  Dirty dog.

• 17:57Conan O'Brien?

  Dirty dog. And you have been honored. I think you got.

• 18:01Speaker 02

  It's so.

• 18:02Conan O'Brien?

  What? This is a real honor.

• 18:05Speaker 02

  It is. It's like messed up.

• 18:07Conan O'Brien?

  Wasn't there an I.O. Day in Boston, where all of Boston, on April 10th, the mayor of Boston honored I.O. by declaring April 10th I.O. a debris day in the city of Boston? Excuse me, has there been a Conan O'Brien in Boston? Quick answer.

• 18:23Speaker 02

  Wait, you don't have, wait, you don't have a day?

• 18:25Conan O'Brien?

  I never had a day. Never. Oh, and what they're gonna do is say, you have St. Patrick's Day.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  Oh, because you're Irish.

• 18:32Conan O'Brien?

  Very good, Sona.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  Very nice, very nice.

• 18:36Speaker 01

  You're not, uh, fuck you.

• 18:39Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, you're getting better at that, too. No, I've never had a day.

• 18:42Speaker 02

  That's actually shocking to me. But you've been like hasty put, no, wait, hasty's just women.

• 18:47Conan O'Brien?

  No, hasty putting is guys.

• 18:49Speaker 02

  That is guys.

• 18:50Conan O'Brien?

  And used to dress up as ladies, but now it's men and women, yeah.

• 18:53Speaker 02

  Wait, what the heck? What's going on?

• 18:55Conan O'Brien?

  What do you mean?

• 18:56Speaker 02

  I don't know, I just feel like I thought you should get, let's fix that.

• 18:59Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know, what do you do, did you go to Boston on your day?

• 19:02Speaker 02

  Okay, I cut, okay, I'm grateful for the day, I'm grateful for the day. I had no idea that it was happening. If I knew that it was happening, I'm the type of person where I would have not gone. Cause it just, that sort of thing just makes me so anxious. And so, they were just like, oh, come to your high school. And I was like, cool, I'll just like talk to the improv kids. And then they were like, actually, you're gonna be talking to kids in the auditorium, which is like my nightmare. Like, I was training to be a teacher and I quit because high school children are so scary with their eyes. And then, also like the school that I went to is a public school, but it's like, it's for smart kids. Like, you have to take a test to get in, like, it's that whole vibe. And every student there is like, gonna become like a doctor of like Adams or something, like, I don't know.

• 19:47Conan O'Brien?

  Doctor of Adams.

• 19:48Speaker 02

  Uh huh. So, okay, I literally was like stupid for my school. Like, I was like, yeah, maybe be like a teacher and go do some like improv at night. And everybody was like, good luck, kid, like, you are a wastrel. And, uh, yeah, ultimately.

• 20:04Conan O'Brien?

  But you got a day.

• 20:05Speaker 02

  I got a day.

• 20:06Conan O'Brien?

  But you, did you go to your school for your day?

• 20:08Speaker 02

  I did go to my school, cause I thought I was gonna just talk to the improv kids and then I ended up talking to the mayor. And then the mayor was like, I have a surprise for you. And in the clip, which I have watched, like, I think I look upset, but it's just cause I'm like dissociating to survive. Cause I'm like, I can't believe this is happening. And I also know that my mom's gonna be so annoyed, cause she's gonna be like, you never tell anybody when you're getting a day. And it's like, well, cause I didn't know I was getting a day. Yeah.

• 20:31Speaker 01

  You never tell anyone, you're like, you've gotten lots of days?

• 20:34Speaker 02

  No, that's just like, that's the voice of my mother in my head. That's, she's that type of, she's that type of.

• 20:38Conan O'Brien?

  Again, you got a day, and I don't get it.

• 20:40Speaker 03

  By the way, Sona and I both have Boston days, too.

• 20:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, this is so weird.

• 20:44Conan O'Brien?

  I know, they're always, they're always gone, and they're not even from there.

• 20:46Speaker 01

  Hand them out to everybody.

• 20:48Conan O'Brien?

  You get them at the airport.

• 20:51Conan O'Brien?

  As you get off the plane, they hand you a day.

• 20:54Speaker 02

  If you go to the Logan Duncan.

• 20:55Conan O'Brien?

  I think, I think that's, uh... You're on record for saying you think the Dunkin' Donuts is better in Boston.

• 21:01Speaker 02

  I do.

• 21:02Conan O'Brien?

  You can taste the difference.

• 21:03Speaker 02

  I do. Why do you know that?

• 21:04Conan O'Brien?

  I know a lot of things about you.

• 21:05Speaker 02

  Is that in your research?

• 21:06Conan O'Brien?

  I know everything about you.

• 21:07Speaker 02

  What am I thinking right now? Three, two, one.

• 21:10Conan O'Brien?

  I'm paler than you thought.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Oh. Ultimately, yeah, probably. Yeah.

• 21:15Conan O'Brien?

  You can actually see the veins in my face and it's freaking you out.

• 21:19Speaker 02

  I can see like the back of your ear through your cheeks.

• 21:24Conan O'Brien?

  You're looking at me like that model of the visible woman. The, uh...

• 21:29Speaker 02

  Is it one tall man or two, two, two little, two smaller men?

• 21:37Conan O'Brien?

  We have things in common. We both grew up in Boston.

• 21:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:40Conan O'Brien?

  We clearly both like to riff and screw around constantly and, and be silly. You grew up with anxiety. I think like a lot of people that get into comedy. I had anxiety too. Yeah, you did.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Pretty cool.

• 21:52Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you did.

• 21:53Speaker 02

  Pretty cool.

• 21:54Conan O'Brien?

  I talked to your therapist.

• 21:56Speaker 02

  Okay, well...

• 21:57Conan O'Brien?

  Your therapist is here.

• 21:59Speaker 02

  I shouldn't have put you under my, like, my HIPAA exemption.

• 22:04Speaker 02

  I knew I shouldn't have done that.

• 22:06Conan O'Brien?

  But I love that you, um, you're very smart and you have very serious parents who were... They must have seen this comedy thing coming with you. They didn't see it coming?

• 22:16Speaker 02

  Oh, well, I think it just, like, they didn't...

• 22:22Conan O'Brien?

  Can I just say something? Can I say something? I leaned out of camera. Okay, can I say something though? I noticed it too. You reached for that tissue like Liberace or a magician. You reached like this. Where, I mean, if we have footage of it, and then you plucked it up and you did this big turn. I was in the middle of talking.

• 22:44Speaker 02

  Did your sleeve hit the mic too?

• 22:46Conan O'Brien?

  I thought a white, I thought a white dove was gonna come out of your jacket. I'm so sorry.

• 22:50Speaker 02

  It's like Penn and Teller doing ASMR.

• 22:52Conan O'Brien?

  I'm so sorry. I was gonna sneeze and I just thought it was a...

• 22:57Speaker 02

  Surely nothing will happen.

• 23:01Conan O'Brien?

  I'm here to visit the king of France, but first...

• 23:07Conan O'Brien?

  Well.

• 23:08Speaker 01

  Oh, Jesus.

• 23:09Conan O'Brien?

  I love that you didn't let that go.

• 23:10Speaker 01

  You are addicted to prop work.

• 23:13Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God. Get him, get him, get him.

• 23:15Speaker 01

  Yeah, I was listening to an episode in the car, not gonna lie.

• 23:26Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 23:28Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 23:29Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 23:44Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 23:52Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 23:57Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 24:16Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 24:17Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty, it's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 24:51Conan O'Brien?

  Did you know that one in four Americans targeted by scams end up falling for them? You fell for it.

• 24:56Speaker 01

  I fell for a scam.

• 24:57Conan O'Brien?

  Now, you didn't lose too much money, but you did lose.

• 25:00Speaker 01

  I did lose, and it was very inconvenient, and now they put protections on my account like I'm, uh, dumb.

• 25:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I don't know where they got that impression.

• 25:10Conan O'Brien?

  Criminals are now using AI to make scams look more realistic than ever. In 2025, AI fraud spiked 1,210% and cost Americans $893 million. That's incredible. Well, with AI, it can get so smart now.

• 25:26Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 25:26Conan O'Brien?

  Do you know what I mean?

• 25:27Speaker 01

  Maybe I should start scamming.

• 25:28Conan O'Brien?

  No, that's not the point.

• 25:30Speaker 01

  Oh, no, that's not the point of this.

• 25:31Conan O'Brien?

  That's not the point.

• 25:31Speaker 01

  It's so much money.

• 25:32Conan O'Brien?

  One accidental click, Sona, can expose your information, putting you at risk of identity theft. Luckily, this is the point. Not that you should start scamming, but that everyone should get LifeLock.

• 25:42Speaker 01

  Right, right, right, right.

• 25:42Conan O'Brien?

  LifeLock has live US-based restoration specialists who will be with you every step of the way to fix your identity theft from first alert to full restoration. This is fantastic. How do you not have this?

• 25:54Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 25:54Conan O'Brien?

  If you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million-dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. Join now and save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 26:13Conan O'Brien?

  With the US Bank Smartly Visa Signature Card, you earn an unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Huh, it's a good deal.

• 26:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:20Conan O'Brien?

  No quarterly activations, no categories to track, just unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Sona, just the other day, I bought you this antique wig stand.

• 26:31Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 26:32Conan O'Brien?

  And I didn't get cash back, and I regret it now.

• 26:35Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Well, that's a very thoughtful gift.

• 26:38Conan O'Brien?

  Do you wear a wig, or is that your hair?

• 26:39Speaker 01

  Absolutely not. It's definitely my hair. And so it's kind of insulting you would buy that gift for me.

• 26:45Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'll just return it anyway, but I do wish I got cash back.

• 26:48Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 26:49Conan O'Brien?

  Visit usbank.com/smartlycard to learn more. The creditor and issuer of this card is US Bank National Association, pursuant to a license from Visa USA, Inc. Some restrictions may apply.

• 27:06Conan O'Brien?

  Um, your parents.

• 27:08Speaker 02

  My serious parents.

• 27:09Conan O'Brien?

  Your parents, they're serious people. You grew up in a Pentecostal.

• 27:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 27:14Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, household.

• 27:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, but my dad wasn't really that Christian, which also is funny because I, I was like, I, I have these like memories of like going down to his home office, which also it's like, hey, man, if you're a dad and you got a home office, whatever. Anyway, but then I'd go to his home office.

• 27:29Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 27:29Speaker 02

  And then I would be like, hey, like, it just would be really cool if you came to church just because like if the rapture happens, me and mom are good. You know what I mean? And you're gonna be like in hell. And he, but he, to his credit, would just be like, I mean, like, maybe, girl. Like, he'd be like, I don't think so, but thanks, thanks, sweetie.

• 27:46Conan O'Brien?

  I know how to get, I'll, I'll take the off ramp. I'll get there.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Thanks, sweetie. Yeah, so I was like low key more religious than my parents at one point, but yeah, I think that like I, all that kind of, that was like how my anxiety manifested. Like in like, and I had to be very prepared for my future or like I kind of would care about things even more than my parents did because I was just projecting my own sort of like fears about like disappointing them or whatever. And so like, I think I would just be like, and I'm gonna be like a doctor, of course. And they'd be like, cool, you're gonna be a doctor. And then my sophomore year of college, when I changed my major, I, I was like, well, also then I was like, okay, so I might not be a doctor. I might be a teacher. And they were like, okay, sure, yeah. And so then, you know, I was like, I, I, I'm not gonna be a teacher. I actually wanna study art.

• 28:32Speaker 02

  And they were like, yeah, girl, like, you know, we, you, we've been raising you in our house, right? Like, every single thing that you've done or you care about is like related to.

• 28:43Conan O'Brien?

  The arts.

• 28:43Speaker 02

  Comedy or the arts or whatever. Like, my mom would get really mad at me because I would delete episodes of Oprah because I was Tivo-ing your show and like 30 Rock. And like, I was like, I was just like inhaling all of that stuff.

• 28:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 28:56Speaker 02

  And so they were like, yeah, duh, like, okay. But it was, it was also very like, my dad was like, like, I mean, we can't help you, like, just as a heads up, like, we don't have any connections. We don't have any like resources. So like, if you wanna do it, just you have to be prepared.

• 29:10Conan O'Brien?

  Your dad and I were very tight and I kept saying, I will help. I O and he was like, eh, how could you help her in comedy? And I went, okay. This was back in the 2000s, early 2000s.

• 29:20Speaker 02

  He's a tough, he's a tough guy in that way. He's a tough guy in that way. Yeah.

• 29:24Conan O'Brien?

  I'd say, you're sure I can't help her get started in comedy? He's like, yeah, she'll be fine. What, what could you do for her anyway?

• 29:29Speaker 02

  What a joke, joke.

• 29:29Conan O'Brien?

  Conan. You know who I was.

• 29:32Speaker 02

  Conan O'Brady.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, but then also like, it's been cool, like with them. I feel like I've been learning more about them since I've been whatever enough to, to pursue this. And like, my dad actually went to Emerson. And his dad made him drop out because his dad was like, you're the oldest. And like, we need to get all these other siblings from Nigeria over here. So you need to get like a real degree in something that like,

• 30:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 30:00Speaker 02

  means that you can be like, you know, stable enough to support this family. And then he went to law school after. But my dad loves movies, like he wanted to make movies.

• 30:09Conan O'Brien?

  Wow.

• 30:09Speaker 02

  Now he just comes with me to award shows.

• 30:12Conan O'Brien?

  But they must be, they must be through the, through the roof.

• 30:14Speaker 02

  Mm.

• 30:15Conan O'Brien?

  Happy for you.

• 30:15Speaker 02

  I think so.

• 30:16Conan O'Brien?

  That's a nice thing.

• 30:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:18Conan O'Brien?

  It's interesting. So when you told them, okay, I'm gonna take this shot at writing comedy.

• 30:22Speaker 02

  We were straight up in an IHOP in Randolph. Cause I also was like, we can't do this on home turf. Like we have to go to Randolph. And we, I, I literally was like, I'll meet you guys at the IHOP. Mind you, I didn't get my license until I was like 24 years old. So I'm like, they're driving me to the IHOP and.

• 30:36Conan O'Brien?

  Or you took a horse.

• 30:37Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:40Speaker 02

  And, and so then we're there and I'm like not talking to them in the car. And they're like, like, they're like, are you like, are you dying or like, what's going on? Then I just started bust, like I burst out crying. I was like, I'm so sorry. Like I changed my major without telling you. I'm gonna study playwriting, like I want to pursue the arts. And literally they're like eating like a, like a short stack, like could not,

• 31:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 31:02Speaker 02

  could not care. My dad's like, extra hash browns, like let's go. Yeah, they, they were so like supportive.

• 31:09Conan O'Brien?

  My, yeah, I remember, I remember very clearly telling my parents on the phone that, okay, I'm graduating. I've worked really hard to get into this good college. I'm gonna graduate. I wrote a thesis. I'm a good student. I wanted to get into comedy. And I remember their attitude was very much like, which one are you?

• 31:27Speaker 02

  Oh my god.

• 31:28Conan O'Brien?

  We got six. Just, you know, they were, and then the minute I could pay my own rent, which was really quickly. The minute I was like, out there and established and paying my own rent. They didn't care if I was in pornography. I was just, you know, which I, I was okay at that too.

• 31:44Speaker 02

  You dabbled?

• 31:45Conan O'Brien?

  You did that? I dabbled.

• 31:47Speaker 02

  Okay, fake fans. No one's out.

• 31:52Speaker 02

  No, I think it was the same. I think also my parents were like, yeah, like, are you good with money? Like, you're not gonna be asking us to like, buy tickets to the Yuck Yuck Center, right? Like, then, as long as you don't need it. As we all know, comedy, comedy folks, us, getting extra tickets to the Yuck Yuck Center.

• 32:08Conan O'Brien?

  It's a big thing.

• 32:10Speaker 02

  Everyone, everyone has to pay their dues. But yeah, like, they were like, if you're, if you're good, then we're good. And I feel like the moment that they could also kind of start to brag, like.

• 32:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 32:19Speaker 02

  Which was like, even when I was like, a writer's assistant, where they were just like, oh my god, like, your name is gonna be in the credits of something.

• 32:24Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you had a, I'm impressed with this. You had, you had a plan, which was, get yourself in a writer's room as a writer's assistant. And you gave yourself time to do that.

• 32:35Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 32:35Conan O'Brien?

  That was a very smart, I mean, I look at it now and I think, yes, that was a very smart way to go about it.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:41Conan O'Brien?

  What was the plan specifically? Get into a writer's room?

• 32:43Speaker 02

  The plan was, I still have my education degree, so I was like, okay, I'm gonna give myself basically two years to be able to pay my rent. And if I don't, then I'll go back and I'll get my masters. And then I'll just get my teaching certificate, like, for the state of New York. But I'll at least be happy that I tried. I think it's like, I try to make, I don't know, a plan that like, I'll be happy with whatever the result is. Like, genuinely, like.

• 33:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 33:04Speaker 02

  Failure is not an option. So whatever's gonna happen, I have to be happy with it and also be able to pay my rent. Great. And so that was that plan. And then I ended up, while I was still in school, I got the PA jobs. Um, through a friend of a friend who was working at Jack's. Um, they were doing like Broad City, and Inside Amy Schumer, um, and Sam Bee at the time. And then I think I just kind of got a reputation for like, being very hardworking and, uh... Then I got assisting job at this show called The Rundown with Robin Diddy. That was on BET first season and that's when I got my first writer assistant job. And I just basically was like talking to every single writer's assistant I knew. And I was like, okay, like, what's like the average timeline for being a writer's assistant to like getting an actual TV job? Like, what does that look like and what do I have to do to do that?

• 33:49Speaker 02

  And so then I was like, okay, I think I can give myself like three to four years of doing this before then I start to get like crazy. And a little like, like, I feel like that's, I don't know. When I was like meeting writer assistants where they're like, I've been doing this for like eight years or something. I was like, oh, okay, like you're not, you're not happy doing this. So that some, and some people are, but that's just like how I felt. So I was like, cool, I'll give myself like four, three or four, because I kind of know myself. And I know that's when I'll start to get like restless. But also then I was doing stand up and um.

• 34:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you were attacking it on like five different fronts.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:22Conan O'Brien?

  Which is.

• 34:23Speaker 02

  But it was because I liked it. Like, I think I do, like, I have met people also where they're like, oh, and so you're gunning for this and you're gunning for that. But it's like, I think at the base of it, I also just really like to learn. So I really was like, I, and I've become very obsessed about stuff. And so like, I just loved when I was meeting, doing stand up. I was seeing like all comedy for the first time in New York and that I could kind of take on a different voice on stage than maybe what might be my, my like first instinct. And then also like I started like writing like shouts and murmurs pieces with my friends. Because I was like, okay, my end goal is writing, not performing. That also is the thing, like, I really did not picture myself as a actor or performer.

• 35:03Conan O'Brien?

  It's interesting because I've, I get the sense you still think of yourself first as a writer, even though.

• 35:08Speaker 02

  And I think sometimes people are like, are you, are you right in the head?

• 35:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's so funny because so many people are, don't aspire to, hey, I recognize you and you're going to get the nice seat at this restaurant.

• 35:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is something like, well, I have like um. I'm relatively, not always on, but I think I do have a good sense of like, stuff where I'm like, I can't do this, or I don't want to do this, or like, I'm not interested in being this thing. Even though something that's been interesting about like, acting more is that I think it's like, oh, people start to have a perception of you, and that's also why I'm like, whenever I can get the chance, I'm like, I, I like, I'm like, I have to do something that's a comedic thing, so that people like, understand, like, this is actually, like, my brain, and like, my sense of self, and not just like, like, looking cool on red carpet, which I love, which is great, and which is fun.

• 36:00Conan O'Brien?

  Do you like the red carpet?

• 36:01Speaker 02

  No, but, uh,

• 36:04Speaker 02

  but, but I think it's like, I can appreciate it as another type of performance, and I think then, it's also like, in this weird way, I'm like, that's closer to acting than it is to me, and also like, weirdly like, drag. I'm like, basically doing drag of myself, I feel like, and I'm like, become this vessel for like, outfit and like, hair and makeup, and I'm like, that's actually, it's like, it's something else, I'm like, doing like, like, a heightened version of, like, a pastiche of myself, or something, I don't know, but yeah, thinking of it that way helps me.

• 36:39Conan O'Brien?

  I, I had an attitude a little bit early on, because I just was so much into, I'm just gonna, I want to do these ideas, and I want to do this weird show, and then they would say, okay, well, now's the Emmys, and you guys have been nominated, so you're supposed to go and walk the red carpet, and I had a little bit of an attitude of, but, I don't like this, this is what I'm about, and, I mean, I was young, but I was also like, this is what I'm about, and then I, it just occurred to me, it's part of the job, you fucking moron.

• 37:04Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's such a weird part of the job.

• 37:05Conan O'Brien?

  Like, get over yourself, it's part of the job, and, and, uh, find a tux that fits, and, and stand there and get your picture taken and smile, and if, you know, what do you mean, you, you don't love it? No one.

• 37:17Speaker 02

  No one does, I, yeah, I mean, maybe there are people who are beautiful, beautiful freaks, but who are like, oh yeah, this is what I live for, but I think actually, most people are literally like, get me out of my skin. This is, this is so insane, and so many people are yelling at me also, and they found, they all have a different way of saying my name, and it's so weird.

• 37:38Speaker 02

  It's so weird. Yeah, but yeah, it is like where I'm just like, yeah, this like this helps me make like get to be done with it and then get to actually make stuff. So like.

• 37:48Conan O'Brien?

  You have an affinity for physical comedy. When did you know that?

• 37:52Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 37:52Conan O'Brien?

  Like, you kind of like using your physicality. And is that something that you always had or is it something you discovered as you as you went along?

• 38:01Speaker 02

  I don't know why this memory just came to me. When I was 11 years old, I remember I did my last split. I did my last split. I did a split and I knew that.

• 38:10Conan O'Brien?

  Aromatics came.

• 38:11Speaker 02

  I was like, this is for real. The last split. I was like, I'm done.

• 38:15Conan O'Brien?

  I have yet to do my last.

• 38:18Speaker 02

  Come on now, brag, brag about it. But then I remember my cousin came and found me up the went like up the stairs because I was stuck. Like I was, I was just like stuck and my cousin started crying from laughing and I was like, okay, maybe like maybe.

• 38:33Conan O'Brien?

  Stuck in a split.

• 38:34Speaker 02

  Yeah, many such stories in my life.

• 38:36Conan O'Brien?

  I love them loading you into the ambulance and you're still in a split. On a gurney. Yeah, on a gurney.

• 38:41Speaker 02

  11 years old.

• 38:43Conan O'Brien?

  They're pushing you through the hospital court. It's like the pit, but they're pushing you through in a split. Clear, clears. 17 cc's of harrasorzone.

• 38:51Speaker 02

  11 year old stuck in a split.

• 38:55Conan O'Brien?

  Third one today. Yeah, yeah.

• 38:57Speaker 02

  Welcome to the pit.

• 38:59Conan O'Brien?

  They have a special device. They have a special device that gets you out of the split.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  Yeah, so I don't know. Many cases such as this in my life.

• 39:10Speaker 02

  And one of my like all time favorites is Cat Williams. And when I think of like my favorite jokes of his, I'm like, oh yeah, they're the ones where he has like very physical.

• 39:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 39:20Speaker 02

  Act outs. I mean, like somehow not sweating out that perm. God bless that man.

• 39:26Speaker 02

  And I think also like growing up in the church, huge, huge element of physicality.

• 39:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 39:32Speaker 02

  In that, obviously, in performance in that. And then I just like, I don't know. I felt like I just was like, oh yeah, I have these really long limbs. Like, I wonder what happens when they just keep going. And I like how it feels also when I can play with like how little space I'm taking up and how still I'm being and then like how ridiculous and I am, I get to be too.

• 39:55Conan O'Brien?

  Occasionally, in my life, people have asked me about directing something. And my answer is always, I've never thought about it. It's not something I aspire to. I don't know anything about that. You've got to find someone else. And I realize that I have a vision and that I'm directing things all the time when we make comedy. But whenever, but I have a- Dictating. Dictating. Thank you. With an iron fist. Yeah.

• 40:18Conan O'Brien?

  You know, I'm- And an iron dick. Yeah.

• 40:19Speaker 02

  Hey, oh wow.

• 40:20Conan O'Brien?

  Let's take it easy there. Let's take it easy there, Bo. I've been there.

• 40:23Speaker 02

  Years between you. I, who am I? But a spectator.

• 40:28Conan O'Brien?

  I think of Sherman Mao as a, you know, a director, if you will. But anyway, I, I know that you directed an episode in season three of The Bear, The Napkin.

• 40:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 40:41Conan O'Brien?

  And you got an award for it.

• 40:43Speaker 02

  Yeah, I got a nomination. I got a, I got a DJ nomination.

• 40:45Conan O'Brien?

  Let's just, I'm gonna say an award, because once you get the, it's an honor to be nominated. You won the Oscar for Best Directing in a TV Show.

• 40:54Speaker 02

  A TV show. Yeah, the first one.

• 40:56Conan O'Brien?

  First time it's ever happened.

• 40:57Speaker 02

  A lifetime achievement Oscar for a TV show.

• 41:00Conan O'Brien?

  For 75 years of work, you beat Lucille Ball's ghost.

• 41:03Speaker 02

  And my mom was pissed.

• 41:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, we were all really mad. We thought that was fucked up. But I, at my age, do not have the courage to say, let me direct that. And you did, and did a great job.

• 41:15Speaker 02

  Thanks.

• 41:16Conan O'Brien?

  What drove you to, or what did you summon in yourself? Or were you encouraged by the creator of the bit?

• 41:22Speaker 02

  Definitely encouraged, definitely encouraged. I've known Chris since I was like 22, and I think, well, the first time we met was at a John and Vinnie's. And there's like probably two-

• 41:30Conan O'Brien?

  This is Chris Storer?

• 41:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, there's probably like two clear pictures of Chris Storer, like, online. Because he does not go outside. That man is inside.

• 41:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 41:39Speaker 02

  And like, like, and it's aided by his own, like, also, like, he missed the Emmys where we, like, the first Emmys where we, like, won everything. Because he got COVID, because he went outside the house. Like, but he was also like, I get to be at home. Like, it's, that's very Chris's vibe. So we met at a John and Vinnie's, and he was like, yeah, listen, I'm probably gonna be here for about like 30 minutes. But I've met you, we're gonna work together again, and also you're a director. And I was like, cool. See you on set whenever, also you're crazy. And then Bear started happening again, maybe when I was like twenty six or something.

• 42:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 42:14Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, twenty five, twenty six and um, and that whole time, like, we would just talk about movies, TV shows, things that we liked and writing, producing, like, we were just always talking about these things. And I, at the time, didn't realize it, but he was speaking to me as if I was another director. And would ask me questions, thoughts, and also ask me why. Like, why was I thinking this thing? Where was it coming from? Oh, what would you do? Or, oh, that's interesting, like, here's this story. Oh, maybe when you work on something else, you should talk to the other director, like, see how that goes. And then, kind of, around the second season, more intentionally, he was like, I'm thinking about this thing for you. Like, I think that this could be cool. Or, do you think that this could be cool? And if you do, like, are you gonna put in the work?

• 42:56Speaker 02

  And so then, I just really, I think, I was nervous about, I don't like undertaking anything if I'm not gonna um, be able to, like, do my best. And um, so I just really was like, okay, I'm gonna, like, try to learn top to bottom what this actually means. Cause I think I also didn't really have an idea of what that job actually was.

• 43:16Conan O'Brien?

  Although you'd been around, you'd been on set and you had been directed.

• 43:19Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 43:19Conan O'Brien?

  So you probably had some sense of, okay, this is single camera, I kinda see what they're doing here.

• 43:24Speaker 02

  But like, what does it mean? And also, like, can I do this if I feel like I don't know everything about every type of camera and every type of lens? You know, like, I think I, my fear was, like, I had to know everything. But then, it's actually like, well, you should know a good amount. But also, like, be able to know enough to help facilitate the people who, like, who actually are experts on the thing. I feel like, and, yeah, so anyway, he just really aided me. And then I think, I remember during Bottoms, Rachel and I were talking about it, and we were like, oh, yeah, like, we do also do a certain amount of, like, directing and, like, thinking about things and shots. And we do have, like, ideas.

• 44:01Conan O'Brien?

  You have opinions.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  Yeah, we have opinions, but they're not just, like, based i- in us being actors also. Like, we are thinking about the shot. Like, we are thinking about, like, what would be funniest for the frame? Or, like, okay, like, did, make sure you get this insert actually? Or, like, even though me as an actor, I might wanna do this joke in a certain way because it would serve my performance. Like, actually, if I, if I do less here, it's, it's better for, like, the movie overall. Or if I, you know, like, whatever, think, things like that. And so, yeah, then I just, uh... Kind of just kind of went in and everything, every day that I wasn't working, I was on set with Chris. I was shadowing him or I was shadowing other guest directors. Then if I wasn't on Bear and I was on another show, I would basically be shadowing the director, even if the director didn't know it.

• 44:45Conan O'Brien?

  So do you have the bug now? Do you see, do you see yourself directing more?

• 44:48Speaker 02

  I do, but not anytime soon because, I mean, unless something comes up that's like really, you know, I don't know, something really cool that is like inspiring me. I think it's a sort of thing where I'm like, oh, I actually love this so much that I want like to take my time and have the next thing be really right. And um, I'm like writing again for me too and, or not for me, for myself, for other things too. Um, cause I've, I've missed that also, like I've missed, in a weird way, like being in a room and just writing for other people who have like other things that they can do. And so I've been writing again and yeah.

• 45:27Conan O'Brien?

  You co-wrote an episode for season four.

• 45:30Speaker 02

  Yeah, I did.

• 45:30Conan O'Brien?

  That's cool.

• 45:31Speaker 02

  Yeah, which I'm excited, which I'm excited.

• 45:32Conan O'Brien?

  The best quality to have is just to be curious and be kind of voracious. And just, I want to know more, I want to know more and I want to evolve.

• 45:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 45:40Conan O'Brien?

  And uh, that is also, I mean, it's at the risk of this turning into a seminar. I think these are all really good things for especially young people starting out to hear that there is no secret formula.

• 45:51Speaker 02

  No.

• 45:51Conan O'Brien?

  Also, luck is a huge part.

• 45:52Speaker 02

  Luck is a huge part. I mean, I think.

• 45:54Conan O'Brien?

  People that don't give it up for luck, I'd need a beating.

• 45:56Speaker 02

  Give it up for luck.

• 45:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 45:57Speaker 02

  Give it up for luck. No, but even like, I feel like lucky enough that like when I was in rooms, that the people who were like my bosses were also people who fostered curiosity. I, I worked on, I don't know, on Big Mouth.

• 46:11Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 46:12Speaker 02

  And like Nick is somebody cruel.

• 46:14Conan O'Brien?

  Nick Kroll.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  Is somebody cruel, um, brackets, but like Nick is somebody where I'm like, oh, you're very curious. And also like you know that like when you are checking out young comedians who are doing things that people are responding to and you're still making sure you get time on stage and you're figuring out like what's going on, you're inviting these people to like be collaborators and share those ideas, like that only makes you better, like that keeps you active, like that keeps you. Going, um, and you actually let those people like work or like if they're interested in certain areas of the room or on stage or whatever, you're like, you're bringing, you're bringing them around. You're like showing them, um, these things.

• 46:55Conan O'Brien?

  I know, I always say you, you make a decision early in your career, be threatened by other really funny people, or just go towards them and, and try and, try and evolve from them.

• 47:06Speaker 02

  Go towards them threateningly.

• 47:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, go towards them, yes, well, that was a lie.

• 47:10Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 47:11Conan O'Brien?

  Go towards them with a mallet or a large stick.

• 47:14Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 47:14Conan O'Brien?

  And then try and beat them until they get out of the business, clearing the path for yourself.

• 47:18Speaker 02

  And, and others.

• 47:20Conan O'Brien?

  I attacked Odenkirk. I attacked Odenkirk many times back in the day, in the eighties.

• 47:24Speaker 02

  That's like, that's somebody else where it's like he and Naomi, when I first came out to LA, they let me stay in their guest bedroom, like where I-

• 47:32Conan O'Brien?

  Did you get the bill yet?

• 47:33Speaker 02

  Um, yeah.

• 47:35Conan O'Brien?

  Cause they did that with me too, and then later on, $600,000 for three months.

• 47:40Speaker 02

  To be fair, Faberge egg in the room, but, um, quite a pretty penny.

• 47:45Conan O'Brien?

  Which you're free to keep.

• 47:45Speaker 02

  Quite a pretty penny.

• 47:47Conan O'Brien?

  I also want to congratulate you on becoming, I mean, you started this joke, which was in, you improvised a joke about being Irish, and then you kept going, and there's this crucial point where a joke either becomes like, okay, that's enough, I've done it enough, I should stop, or you double, triple, and quadruple down on it and refuse to let it go, which you did because you made a joke about being Irish, and now it has resonated so much-

• 48:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:14Conan O'Brien?

  That the people of Ireland have accepted you as one of their own.

• 48:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 48:18Conan O'Brien?

  Which they will not do with me.

• 48:19Speaker 02

  Oh. Sorry, brother.

• 48:22Conan O'Brien?

  I am a figure of great shame in Ireland, but you-

• 48:25Speaker 02

  She's getting all the accolades.

• 48:26Conan O'Brien?

  You are, you got, you got a day in Boston, and you're revered by the Irish people. I am rightfully loathed by the Irish and never a day in Boston.

• 48:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, I think your day could come, um, is what I'll say about that.

• 48:41Conan O'Brien?

  I gotta keep at it.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  I'm clear about the Irish relations. We'll do, we'll do the best, yeah. I just like, I think like, I remember talking about this with a friend, I was like, my favorite type of joke low key might be a lie, like something where it's like, it's, it's almost not even funny, it's mostly just funny to me.

• 49:00Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  And I remember in that moment, I saw like my, like, my like PR, she was at the corner of my eye, and she was kind of like- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Um, because I was just like, it was just such-

• 49:11Conan O'Brien?

  Depends on what the lie was.

• 49:12Speaker 02

  Nonsense. But it was just me being like, oh yeah, you know, I was up in Ireland and I was kinda chilling.

• 49:16Conan O'Brien?

  I see, okay, good, good.

• 49:17Speaker 02

  She was like, okay, sort of mental breakdown, sort of on the horizon. Um, and then, yeah, I don't know, it just kept going, but then also like other Irish people too have been like, what's up? And I'm like, yeah, what's up?

• 49:29Conan O'Brien?

  Didn't you claim that you, you were the donkey?

• 49:32Speaker 02

  Yeah, I was Jenny the donkey.

• 49:33Conan O'Brien?

  You were the donkey in Banshees of Inisherin?

• 49:36Speaker 02

  I'm a good actor, I don't know what-

• 49:37Conan O'Brien?

  You were a very good actor.

• 49:39Speaker 02

  Well, I can do comedy and drama conin', and animal work. Animal work. I'm sort of like the Andy Serkis of-

• 49:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, exactly.

• 49:47Speaker 02

  The equine family, yeah.

• 49:49Conan O'Brien?

  You just, I love that your attitude is, don't put me in a box. I can be the donkey in Banshees of Inisherin.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  That's true, though. It's true.

• 49:57Conan O'Brien?

  Exactly.

• 49:57Speaker 02

  It's true, you can.

• 49:58Conan O'Brien?

  I, uh, I owe you an apology. I really do.

• 50:01Speaker 02

  I will think about how I feel about it. Yeah. How much longer do we have on the clock?

• 50:06Conan O'Brien?

  You have, uh, six more days here.

• 50:08Speaker 02

  Great.

• 50:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, we're gonna bring in some water for you.

• 50:09Speaker 02

  By day four, I will have made a decision.

• 50:11Conan O'Brien?

  Um, it is a delight talking to you, really.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  It's over?

• 50:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 50:16Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:16Conan O'Brien?

  That's it. I mean, we can go more if you want, you know? But what are we really gonna do, you know? And you're gonna quickly look at me and go, God, he's so sickly.

• 50:27Speaker 02

  Or, or, or, I don't know, it's fine, yeah, that's all right.

• 50:33Conan O'Brien?

  The hell was going on there?

• 50:34Speaker 02

  I was like, I don't know, I thought maybe-

• 50:36Conan O'Brien?

  That was a dumber bell. I thought it was adorable what you were doing.

• 50:39Speaker 02

  He is sick. He's terminal.

• 50:41Conan O'Brien?

  And also, I'm gonna tell you something, you were late. You were three minutes late to this podcast.

• 50:45Speaker 02

  Wow, wow.

• 50:47Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, listen, I just, you know, I think professionalism is important.

• 50:50Speaker 02

  Okay, then I'll just say that, for real, for real, like, you're on, like, one of my- I mean, you're talking about your influences, I feel like you're one of mine, and in a major way, so this is really-

• 51:02Conan O'Brien?

  Oh.

• 51:03Speaker 02

  Cool to get to be here-

• 51:05Conan O'Brien?

  Well-

• 51:06Speaker 02

  With you-

• 51:06Conan O'Brien?

  I-

• 51:07Speaker 02

  Before we put you on a-

• 51:09Conan O'Brien?

  Ventilator.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 51:12Conan O'Brien?

  Finally, it is coming.

• 51:14Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 51:14Conan O'Brien?

  I am, I am, uh, no, and I, I, I get a lot of optimism and energy by meeting all these young people that are out there doing it the right way and, and so talented and taking all these chances and doing such good work. And you also have just such a great spirit. So it's a joy having you here. I hope you come back. Next time I see you way across the street.

• 51:35Speaker 01

  Let's, let's run into oncoming traffic.

• 51:37Conan O'Brien?

  I'm gonna run into oncoming traffic.

• 51:38Speaker 01

  I would love to see you have a conversation with Tyler, the creator.

• 51:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 51:42Speaker 01

  I mean, that is, that would be great. He doesn't even know who he is. Oh, oh, oh, yeah, you don't.

• 51:46Conan O'Brien?

  No, I've looked him up in the, in the phone book. He's creator, comics, Tyler the.

• 51:50Speaker 01

  Tyler the.

• 51:50Conan O'Brien?

  Tyler the creator and Conan the destroyer.

• 51:52Speaker 01

  Jordan Hossbury doesn't even know who he is.

• 51:56Conan O'Brien?

  Everybody knows Tyler the creator. He's the creator named Tyler. He's in the phone book as creator, comma, Tyler the. Oh, God, these people.

• 52:06Speaker 01

  Idiots. You're surrounded by idiots.

• 52:08Conan O'Brien?

  Surrounded by fools. Sheratons, halfwits, dragging me into the muck.

• 52:13Speaker 01

  As if you don't know creator, comma, Tyler the.

• 52:17Conan O'Brien?

  As if I don't know.

• 52:19Speaker 01

  And all his assorted creations.

• 52:22Conan O'Brien?

  I love.

• 52:22Speaker 01

  The things he's created.

• 52:24Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God, don't get me started on the things.

• 52:26Speaker 01

  Don't waste your breath.

• 52:27Conan O'Brien?

  Tyler's created.

• 52:28Speaker 01

  Don't waste your breath on them.

• 52:29Conan O'Brien?

  I was gonna start at the top.

• 52:30Speaker 01

  I know, but don't.

• 52:32Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I O stopped me from the longest list of Tyler's creations.

• 52:36Speaker 01

  They don't deserve it.

• 52:39Conan O'Brien?

  There isn't time. You're right, I O. Uh, thank you so much for being here. Come back anytime and, um, you make me happy.

• 52:46Speaker 01

  Okay, like in two minutes or?

• 52:48Conan O'Brien?

  20 minutes.

• 52:49Speaker 01

  Great.

• 52:49Conan O'Brien?

  Give me a 20 minute break.

• 52:50Speaker 01

  Bye.

• 52:58Conan O'Brien?

  Owning a car or home comes with responsibilities. Sure, it's fun, but sometimes it makes you wonder why you ever longed for adulthood in the first place. I do that all the time. I'm like, oh, these bills, these bills. What am I gonna do?

• 53:09Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:10Conan O'Brien?

  You know, when you own a house, you gotta fix it yourself. Sona.

• 53:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:13Conan O'Brien?

  You, you see this to be true, right?

• 53:14Speaker 01

  Yeah, your garage door breaks and you're like, well, I have to fix it.

• 53:18Conan O'Brien?

  Probably at first you said, hey, I'll get the super to fix it. It's your house, dude.

• 53:21Speaker 01

  It's mine. Fine dude.

• 53:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, Liberty Mutual customizes your car and home insurance to save you money. In fact, they work overtime to tailor your insurance policy around what you actually need. The only thing they can't do is get that liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty jingle out of your head.

• 53:34Speaker 01

  Liberty, liberty, liberty.

• 53:36Conan O'Brien?

  Liberty, liberty, it's in my head all the time.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Yeah, me too.

• 53:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Start your quote at libertymutual.com.

• 53:45Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, I want to try something different.

• 53:47Speaker 01

  What?

• 53:47Conan O'Brien?

  I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm going to try and make apple cider.

• 53:51Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 53:51Conan O'Brien?

  Every morning.

• 53:52Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 53:53Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, just to see if I can do it.

• 53:54Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 53:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, fall is the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.

• 53:59Speaker 01

  Oh, that's good.

• 54:00Conan O'Brien?

  See what I did?

• 54:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You want to hear what they are?

• 54:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:05Conan O'Brien?

  They're America's best network.

• 54:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 54:07Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.

• 54:14Speaker 01

  Oh, that's weird.

• 54:14Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider.

• 54:16Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 54:16Conan O'Brien?

  And that's when it comes in handy. Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the

• 54:24Speaker 01

  You travel a lot.

• 54:24Conan O'Brien?

  Travel show that I do.

• 54:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 54:26Conan O'Brien?

  Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 54:36Speaker 01

  That doesn't seem like a good idea.

• 54:37Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 54:38Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 54:39Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 54:44Speaker 01

  My god.

• 54:45Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  What?

• 54:46Conan O'Brien?

  No, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 54:48Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 54:49Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to T-Mobile.com and find yours best, based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data, first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-Satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US, where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit T-Mobile.com. Consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 55:13Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 55:17Conan O'Brien?

  Coca-Cola Zero Sugar is so good. It's almost impossible not to finish it before the meal arrives. It's just too good to wait. That happens to me sometimes. Me too. You can try rules like no sipping until the appetizer arrives, or you tell your friend, "Don't let me touch my glass." But every time you're staring at an empty glass. So if you've ever finished your Coke Zero before the first fry hits the table, you're among friends. It happens. Occupational hazard with Coke Zero. Yeah. Real Coca-Cola taste, zero sugar, too good to wait. Enjoy an ice cold Coca-Cola Zero Sugar today.

• 55:57Speaker 03

  We're gonna go back to something we did way in the early stages of this podcast before.

• 56:02Conan O'Brien?

  It was like 1976.

• 56:04Speaker 03

  Yeah. It's maybe one of the dumbest things we've ever done on this podcast. So I was absent for at least an episode. I think it might have even been more than one episode, the Around the Bob Newhart episode or something. And this was back in the early days where I wasn't really on the mic that much. And you used Adam as me, as a stand-in for me, and never mentioned it on the podcast. So he would just say, "As me." You'd say like, "I'm here with Matt Gory," and he'd go, "Hi."

• 56:29Conan O'Brien?

  Why couldn't we just, why couldn't we just admit that? Well, I'm glad you didn't.

• 56:34Speaker 03

  Because it ended up being this thing that when I came back, we decided to play a game with the two of you, where you turned around, closed your eyes, and Adam and I both took turns saying hi, trying to get you to figure out which one of us was me.

• 56:45Conan O'Brien?

  That is so stupid.

• 56:46Speaker 03

  Do you remember this?

• 56:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I do remember, I do remember this. I do remember this being, and this is really saying something for me. Height of idiocy. Yes. And for me to say that.

• 56:56Speaker 03

  And there was also no question when it was Adam and when it was me. It wasn't even like we really... Also, the part that made it the dumbest is that we just kept taking turns.

• 57:08Speaker 03

  We didn't randomize it.

• 57:09Conan O'Brien?

  We didn't randomize it at all.

• 57:10Speaker 03

  Because we didn't think about it beforehand. So what we're gonna do today is we're gonna try it again.

• 57:16Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 57:17Speaker 03

  And then we're also gonna...

• 57:18Speaker 01

  Adam.

• 57:18Speaker 03

  I know. We're also gonna add in Eduardo and Blay to the mix after that. We'll do a round with just me and Adam.

• 57:25Conan O'Brien?

  Ooh.

• 57:26Speaker 03

  Okay, so you guys are gonna have to turn around.

• 57:28Conan O'Brien?

  Turn around.

• 57:29Speaker 03

  Or close your eyes. And Adam, you gotta come over to my mic so we're in the same area.

• 57:32Speaker 01

  Can we still... Do we do this?

• 57:33Speaker 03

  It's more that you have to close your eyes.

• 57:35Conan O'Brien?

  I also, I have my eyes closed and my head down like I'm very sad.

• 57:39Speaker 01

  I know.

• 57:39Speaker 03

  Okay, and we will randomize this time.

• 57:41Conan O'Brien?

  Oh wait, I'm off... This means I'm off mic.

• 57:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, you gotta move it.

• 57:44Conan O'Brien?

  I forgot about the microphone. Here we go.

• 57:46Speaker 03

  All right.

• 57:49Conan O'Brien?

  Hi.

• 57:50Speaker 01

  That's Adam.

• 57:50Conan O'Brien?

  That's Adam. Hi. That's Matt. Hi.

• 57:56Speaker 01

  That's Matt.

• 57:57Conan O'Brien?

  That's Matt.

• 57:59Conan O'Brien?

  Hi.

• 58:01Conan O'Brien?

  Oh.

• 58:02Speaker 01

  That's interesting.

• 58:03Conan O'Brien?

  Can we hear that one again? Hi. That's Matt.

• 58:07Speaker 01

  That's Matt.

• 58:09Conan O'Brien?

  Hi. That's Adam.

• 58:10Speaker 01

  That's Adam.

• 58:11Conan O'Brien?

  Hi.

• 58:12Speaker 01

  Matt.

• 58:12Conan O'Brien?

  Hi.

• 58:13Speaker 01

  Matt.

• 58:15Conan O'Brien?

  Hi. That's Adam.

• 58:17Speaker 01

  Your voices are so different.

• 58:20Speaker 03

  You guys, I have news for you.

• 58:22Speaker 01

  You guys both have completely different voices.

• 58:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 58:25Speaker 03

  I wanna, I wanna, I'm proud to tell you, you scored 100%.

• 58:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah!

• 58:28Speaker 01

  What?

• 58:29Conan O'Brien?

  It's not that...

• 58:30Speaker 01

  Oh my god!

• 58:31Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? Your personalities come through. Even in, in... I mean, it's barely...

• 58:37Speaker 01

  Was this hard the first time?

• 58:38Speaker 03

  No, no.

• 58:39Conan O'Brien?

  No, you gotta hunt it the first time too. We didn't know you as well then.

• 58:42Speaker 03

  Yeah, I know.

• 58:43Conan O'Brien?

  That was in the early days.

• 58:44Speaker 03

  Okay, now the, we're gonna do it all four of us.

• 58:46Conan O'Brien?

  Oh yeah, that's gonna be tough.

• 58:48Speaker 03

  I don't know, Eduardo...

• 58:50Conan O'Brien?

  Eduardo says hola!

• 58:51Speaker 03

  Our range is kind of...

• 58:53Conan O'Brien?

  Eduardo's gonna say hola.

• 58:54Speaker 03

  Oh my gosh.

• 58:54Conan O'Brien?

  And Blay is gonna go, "Hey!" And everyone's gonna have to adjust the board.

• 58:59Speaker 01

  Matt tried so hard to make his voice sound so different. It's always the same.

• 59:05Speaker 03

  I love, I love this game, and I don't know why, and I love it so much.

• 59:08Conan O'Brien?

  It's fun, it's fun, and I do have to say you have to really concentrate, but people can't hide their essence.

• 59:13Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 59:14Conan O'Brien?

  You know?

• 59:14Speaker 03

  It's true.

• 59:15Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 59:16Speaker 03

  Okay, so you, you two come over here, and Adam as well.

• 59:18Speaker 01

  The way we're crouching and closing...

• 59:20Conan O'Brien?

  Quiet, you gotta take this seriously.

• 59:23Speaker 01

  We're so stupid.

• 59:23Speaker 03

  And then we'll make sure we're all on the camera too.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  I can't believe this is my job.

• 59:27Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 59:28Speaker 03

  This photo is gonna be incredible.

• 59:30Conan O'Brien?

  All right, here we go.

• 59:30Speaker 01

  Oh my god.

• 59:34Conan O'Brien?

  And Sona, you have to wait a second.

• 59:37Speaker 01

  You're just upset because I guessed it.

• 59:39Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, it's not that, it's...

• 59:40Speaker 03

  Just lean in.

• 59:42Conan O'Brien?

  Because sometimes, okay, go ahead and let's be three, two... Hi. Well, that sounds like Eduardo to me.

• 59:49Speaker 01

  Same, Zeez.

• 59:52Conan O'Brien?

  Hi.

• 59:54Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 59:56Conan O'Brien?

  That still sounds like Eduardo to me.

• 59:57Speaker 01

  No, that sounds like, I think that's Adam.

• 1:00:01Conan O'Brien?

  Hi. Hold up, that's coming too quickly. Say again. Hi.

• 1:00:08Speaker 01

  That's...

• 1:00:09Conan O'Brien?

  Blay?

• 1:00:09Speaker 01

  That's, I'm gonna say that's Matt.

• 1:00:14Conan O'Brien?

  Hi. That's Matt.

• 1:00:16Speaker 01

  That's Matt.

• 1:00:19Conan O'Brien?

  Hi.

• 1:00:21Speaker 01

  That's Eduardo.

• 1:00:22Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's Eduardo because I think it has a tilde on it.

• 1:00:27Conan O'Brien?

  I felt a tilde fall to the floor and make a clanging sound.

• 1:00:33Conan O'Brien?

  Hi.

• 1:00:35Speaker 03

  That's Eduardo.

• 1:00:37Speaker 01

  That's, I think that's Adam.

• 1:00:39Conan O'Brien?

  Um, I think it's...

• 1:00:42Conan O'Brien?

  Let's see. I think it's Adam after he's traveled. He's spent some time traveling, uh, and he's been watching a lot of football. Hi. Oh my god, that's, that's, that's Matt just doing one of his bits. Hi. That's gotta be Blay.

• 1:01:04Speaker 01

  Blay.

• 1:01:06Conan O'Brien?

  Hi. Just going so soft that we can barely hear you is a technique? Try it again. Hi.

• 1:01:15Speaker 01

  I think that's Blay.

• 1:01:16Conan O'Brien?

  I don't think Blay's capable of being that quiet.

• 1:01:18Speaker 01

  But it was such, I was gonna say it's such belabored whispering that it, I feel like it's Blay.

• 1:01:23Conan O'Brien?

  When Blay goes through the TSA, the wand goes off and they confiscate 35 exclamation points.

• 1:01:30Speaker 03

  Who was that? Who was that coming in, that last one?

• 1:01:33Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, let me hear it again. Hi. I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say it's Blay.

• 1:01:39Speaker 03

  Okay, we're gonna do one last round.

• 1:01:41Conan O'Brien?

  Hold on, you have to tell us how we did.

• 1:01:42Speaker 03

  We will. Close your eyes, we're gonna do one last one, where we're gonna do four in a row. It's gonna be each one of us does one and you have to say in order which one of it is. Okay.

• 1:01:52Conan O'Brien?

  Hi. That's Matt.

• 1:01:54Speaker 03

  No, don't say it. Just, just remember.

• 1:01:56Conan O'Brien?

  Oh shit, now I'm not gonna remember. I'm in my 80s.

• 1:01:59Speaker 03

  Here we go, we're gonna start over.

• 1:02:01Conan O'Brien?

  Hi. Okay. Hi. Hi. Hi. Okay, I think it's Adam first, then Matt. What do you think, Sona?

• 1:02:13Speaker 01

  Adam, Matt, Blay, Eduardo.

• 1:02:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Okay, we're opening our eyes.

• 1:02:17Speaker 03

  Yes, wow. This was a lot more difficult for you guys.

• 1:02:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, of course!

• 1:02:22Speaker 03

  You only got four correct.

• 1:02:24Speaker 01

  Oh!

• 1:02:24Speaker 03

  The both of you, the both of you.

• 1:02:26Conan O'Brien?

  And what were the mistakes that we made? Besides hiring you guys?

• 1:02:29Speaker 03

  I'm not sure, but that last one...

• 1:02:31Conan O'Brien?

  I'm so glad I wasn't around for the first version.

• 1:02:35Speaker 03

  The last one with the four of us, you both got right.

• 1:02:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:02:38Speaker 03

  All four in a row.

• 1:02:38Speaker 01

  I didn't even have my headphones in. The whole time. Did I?

• 1:02:42Conan O'Brien?

  You did.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  Oh, just kidding.

• 1:02:45Conan O'Brien?

  Why would you lie like that? I thought you did. You're a sociopath.

• 1:02:50Speaker 03

  You know what's so great about this game?

• 1:02:51Conan O'Brien?

  Who lies about this game? In order to... How competitive are you?

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  I do-

• 1:02:56Conan O'Brien?

  I don't think I have my headphones on! We have video.

• 1:02:59Speaker 01

  We do?

• 1:03:00Speaker 03

  Well, what are you talking about? You're the ones going like, "Ah, no, you can't just do it quiet." You had all these complaints.

• 1:03:05Conan O'Brien?

  Hold on a second.

• 1:03:05Speaker 03

  You always have to complain about the game when you're kind of like teetering on success.

• 1:03:09Conan O'Brien?

  I... Listen to me.

• 1:03:11Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:03:11Conan O'Brien?

  Please, it's about time someone listened to me on this podcast. "When do I get a chance to speak?"

• 1:03:16Speaker 03

  Oh boy.

• 1:03:16Conan O'Brien?

  Said the idiot. I do think it's a little unfair when it gets down to...

• 1:03:22Conan O'Brien?

  You're just like, "Okay, now it's just a little bit of air." That's all. It's me, maybe I'm being a little fussy. Fair enough. The great thing about this game is it's not only fun and smart, but listeners can play at home as well.

• 1:03:33Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:03:34Conan O'Brien?

  That's a really good point. Yeah. And you know what? If people play this and enjoy it, um, we will figure out a way to make this into a game that you'd have to purchase.

• 1:03:42Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:03:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, home, home edition.

• 1:03:44Speaker 01

  A voice box? And you press it?

• 1:03:46Speaker 03

  I think it's gonna-

• 1:03:47Speaker 01

  And someone says, "Hi," and you guess?

• 1:03:49Speaker 03

  Remember on Family Feud where they'd have the like-

• 1:03:51Conan O'Brien?

  You're talking about a machine? I was thinking it'd be like an app or something, but you're talking about an actual machine?

• 1:03:54Speaker 01

  I would've thought you meant like a board game, like Twister.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  Yeah, I thought so too.

• 1:03:57Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 1:03:57Speaker 03

  Like on Family Feud when they say you get to take the board game home with you, you know?

• 1:04:01Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? We could call it, we could call it "Make hay while the sun shines." And there's a little box and you hit it, and it gives you a "hay," and if you correct, if you guess which of all of us it is, you get to advance your piece.

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 1:04:13Conan O'Brien?

  But wait, we're changing it to "hay"? No, "haymaker."

• 1:04:15Speaker 01

  No, it's "hi." We're saying "hi," they've been saying "hi."

• 1:04:18Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't it sound like "hay" to you? "Hay."

• 1:04:20Speaker 01

  No, we just heard it like forty times. It's a high.

• 1:04:24Speaker 03

  It's always been a high.

• 1:04:26Speaker 01

  No one ever said hey. This game has made everyone so dumb.

• 1:04:28Speaker 03

  But that is why we should call it Make High While the Sun Shines.

• 1:04:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:04:31Speaker 03

  Make High While the Sun Shines.

• 1:04:33Conan O'Brien?

  It sounded like hey to me. I know that I have a problem.

• 1:04:36Speaker 03

  You do.

• 1:04:38Conan O'Brien?

  I drink before the podcast and afterwards.

• 1:04:40Speaker 01

  Could be a fun drinking game. If you get it wrong, shoddy shot.

• 1:04:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but we need to figure out a way to make this something that we can profit from. And I don't want the profits going to some charity. I'm sorry, but I-

• 1:04:55Speaker 01

  We need to, you said.

• 1:04:57Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want-

• 1:04:59Speaker 01

  No, I said you, we need to make this a game somehow.

• 1:05:02Conan O'Brien?

  We need to make it a game and then we need to profit from it.

• 1:05:05Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:05:06Conan O'Brien?

  And I don't want to hear about these sick kids. I'm sick of that shit.

• 1:05:09Speaker 03

  And wait, hold on, what is this we? Cause Adam and I-

• 1:05:11Speaker 01

  Is that all of us?

• 1:05:12Speaker 03

  Came up and designed this game and we spent a lot of time on it. We met outside of the podcast.

• 1:05:18Conan O'Brien?

  So you're, basically you work at Apple and you just went to Steve Jobs and said, well, I thought of it while working for you.

• 1:05:24Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:05:25Conan O'Brien?

  So I don't think you should-

• 1:05:26Speaker 03

  I'm an independent contractor. I'm not in any kind of like-

• 1:05:29Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, you think that's gonna work on Steve Jobs? He's gonna just, he's gonna, he's gonna start, his head's gonna start quivering a little bit-

• 1:05:35Speaker 03

  I never signed anything.

• 1:05:36Conan O'Brien?

  In his black turtleneck and then your, your brain is gonna explode.

• 1:05:38Speaker 03

  I'm taking this straight to Smartless.

• 1:05:40Speaker 01

  No, you know what? If it's just the two of you saying hi with no one guessing, it's just two dicks and a microphone. And so we add a layer.

• 1:05:47Conan O'Brien?

  You got another title.

• 1:05:48Speaker 03

  That's the name, that's the name.

• 1:05:50Speaker 01

  Add a layer.

• 1:05:50Conan O'Brien?

  Two dicks and a mic.

• 1:05:51Speaker 01

  Two dicks and a mic. But there's so many dicks and I think all of us need to do it.

• 1:05:55Conan O'Brien?

  Two dicks and a mic would sell and, um, or you know what? Just call it Four Dicks and a Mic is a good title. That's better than my, you know, God, I thought they said hey and they said hi, whatever. Okay, that was wrong. But I think that, I think it's called Four Dicks-

• 1:06:08Speaker 01

  You're oversimplif-, you thought they said hey after you heard them say hi so many times.

• 1:06:13Conan O'Brien?

  Do you know that I was in a lot of accidents when I was a kid? My, a lot of head injuries and that I was beaten constantly by my brother Neil. And still, when I go home to Brookline, Mass, I'm still beaten by my brother Neil.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  Okay, then we can call it hey and just say hi.

• 1:06:28Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no, we've got the title. One, two, three, four, five, six. No, it's four.

• 1:06:34Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:06:35Conan O'Brien?

  Cause you have two people at home guessing. I mean, if it's a home version, it's six of us, right?

• 1:06:39Speaker 01

  All of us saying hi.

• 1:06:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:06:41Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:41Conan O'Brien?

  So it's six.

• 1:06:41Speaker 03

  You guys have, your voices are too distinct. You can't-

• 1:06:44Conan O'Brien?

  I can change mine. Listen to this.

• 1:06:47Speaker 01

  Just say hi. Why aren't you saying hi?

• 1:06:49Conan O'Brien?

  Cause I'm, I'm too outside the box for that. You, you always want Picasso to paint inside the lines.

• 1:06:55Speaker 01

  Can you do hi like Gorals?

• 1:06:57Conan O'Brien?

  Hi. That's Gorals and Michael, that's Gorals and Michael Jackson.

• 1:07:03Speaker 03

  Oh my god.

• 1:07:04Conan O'Brien?

  So do you try. And in the background you hear bubbles.

• 1:07:06Speaker 01

  Hee hee haw. I'm gonna do it. Hi.

• 1:07:08Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, you're just getting quiet when you get. Anyway, hey, if you're interested.

• 1:07:13Speaker 01

  Oh, that was a good one.

• 1:07:14Conan O'Brien?

  Excuse me.

• 1:07:15Speaker 01

  Hi.

• 1:07:15Conan O'Brien?

  If you're interested in Six Dicks and a Mic being a game. And listen, this isn't some free thing. This has got to be something.

• 1:07:26Speaker 01

  People are gonna think that's porn. Six dicks and a mic?

• 1:07:29Conan O'Brien?

  That's why they're gonna buy it. And then they're gonna get it and they're gonna think, wow, six dicks and a mic.

• 1:07:32Speaker 03

  What is the mic? Why is there not a camera?

• 1:07:36Conan O'Brien?

  It's Six Dicks and a Mic. And you know what? If people buy it thinking it's porn and then they find out that it's this they get in the mail. This cardboard board game with pegs with our faces on it. And a little box you hit that randomly goes, hi, hey, hi.

• 1:07:52Speaker 03

  Now we have to make this. We have to make this. That's what's in the box, but on the cover is a dude named Mike and speedos.

• 1:07:58Conan O'Brien?

  Shirtless, all oiled up. Yes, that's the cover. It's Six Dicks and a Mic. The cover is very male porn. And then you open it up and it's this game that we. And Adam, I wanna make sure we, the worst people make this. That it's very cheaply made. And do they still, can you still get, I want it to be made of something that's kind of toxic.

• 1:08:17Speaker 03

  Yeah. Is there a Parker brother who's been outcast from the other Parker brothers?

• 1:08:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, Parker Posey. It's Parker, it's Parker Posey.

• 1:08:24Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 1:08:24Conan O'Brien?

  Um, anyway, we're gonna, uh, be looking for this soon. It's gonna be available. Six Dicks and a Mic, coming soon to an alley near you.

• 1:08:37Speaker 03

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sesian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:08:57Speaker 03

  Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:09:46Speaker 04

  From the original Free Second Opinion studio, here's Hugh Joitz.

• 1:09:51Speaker 05

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• 1:10:15Speaker 06

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