Paul W. Downs

Actor, writer, and director Paul W. Downs feels thrilled about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Paul sits down with Conan to discuss co-creating the hit series Hacks, the inside world of writing for a fake late night show, intertwining personal and professional lives with his partner and fellow creator Lucia Aniello, and a fateful missed encounter at a French hotel. Later, an unexpected secret about Sona’s past is revealed. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:02Conan O'Brien?

  Now Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.

• 0:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 0:05Conan O'Brien?

  Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.

• 0:07Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 0:08Conan O'Brien?

  I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?

• 0:13Speaker 01

  A vase.

• 0:15Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.

• 0:17Speaker 01

  A jacket.

• 0:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.

• 0:20Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.

• 0:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.

• 0:23Speaker 01

  Aw man, I didn't know you were doing that.

• 0:25Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.

• 0:37Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 0:37Conan O'Brien?

  Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place so you can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.

• 1:02Conan O'Brien?

  Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first, but didn't live up to the hype?

• 1:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, like all the time.

• 1:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I did that with an all-potato restaurant.

• 1:10Speaker 01

  Oh no.

• 1:14Conan O'Brien?

  Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great, like impressions, but then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Sona?

• 1:22Speaker 01

  Oh yeah, all the time.

• 1:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, LinkedIn has a word for that: bullspend.

• 1:26Speaker 01

  Bullspend.

• 1:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, instead you can get the highest ROAS of major ad networks with LinkedIn Ads.

• 1:31Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:32Conan O'Brien?

  Cut the bullspend. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com/Conan. Terms apply.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  Hi, my name is Paul W. Downs, and I feel thrilled.

• 1:53Speaker 03

  About being Conan O'Brien's friend. Oh, that's very nice. It's true, it's thrilling.

• 2:18Conan O'Brien?

  Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. I'm Conan O'Brien, joined here by the chuckling Matt Gourley. Sona Movsesian, how are you, Sona?

• 2:25Speaker 01

  Am I right?

• 2:25Conan O'Brien?

  You what?

• 2:26Speaker 01

  I'm all right.

• 2:27Conan O'Brien?

  Oh.

• 2:28Speaker 01

  I'm sorry, I said that, I mumbled.

• 2:29Conan O'Brien?

  I think you said, "Am I right?"

• 2:31Speaker 01

  I'm all right.

• 2:32Speaker 03

  Yeah, "Am I right?"

• 2:33Speaker 01

  And then I did a weak-ass thumbs up.

• 2:35Speaker 03

  It's also weird how you kind of like turned it towards yourself.

• 2:38Speaker 01

  I don't like it.

• 2:39Conan O'Brien?

  Everything you did just now was just wrong.

• 2:41Speaker 03

  Are you an AI?

• 2:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I think you are AI.

• 2:43Speaker 01

  Every time you're like, "Welcome, hey, Sona," it makes me so uncomfortable. And we've talked about it before, I hate it.

• 2:51Conan O'Brien?

  People get very scared about AI. I have been working very hard to have AI replace you, Sona.

• 2:58Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 2:58Conan O'Brien?

  And I have thousands of servers trying to learn Sona's rhythms.

• 3:03Speaker 03

  Impossible.

• 3:03Conan O'Brien?

  They've all exploded. They've exploded and they're in these salt mines, they keep them in salt mines, deep under the ground in Utah. And I've spent most of the money I've made in show business on all these servers.

• 3:13Speaker 01

  Oh, thank you.

• 3:14Conan O'Brien?

  They overheat and explode because they cannot match

• 3:16Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 3:17Conan O'Brien?

  the Movsesian rhythms. They don't make sense, AI can't figure it out.

• 3:20Speaker 01

  She just moves at a different speed.

• 3:22Conan O'Brien?

  Who's she?

• 3:23Speaker 01

  She's so, I, me.

• 3:24Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, you're talking about yourself?

• 3:25Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 3:25Conan O'Brien?

  What, are you talking about the creator?

• 3:26Speaker 01

  Oh, God, oh. Can I just say, if an AI came in and just said nothing that made sense, I'd be like, "That's a great AI of Conan."

• 3:35Speaker 03

  I know, yeah, there's plenty of those.

• 3:37Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:38Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:38Speaker 01

  What do you mean, "plenty of those"? What do you mean?

• 3:40Speaker 03

  AIs that don't make any sense.

• 3:41Speaker 01

  Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm just saying.

• 3:42Conan O'Brien?

  It's getting so good, though.

• 3:43Speaker 03

  I have friends. Not the guys I'm talking to.

• 3:45Conan O'Brien?

  What?

• 3:46Speaker 03

  These AIs.

• 3:47Speaker 01

  Do you have a relationship with an AI?

• 3:48Speaker 03

  I do, my wife is an AI.

• 3:50Conan O'Brien?

  Do you? She's a beautiful AI.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Well, I had to splurge in one player and then scrimping another.

• 3:58Conan O'Brien?

  So, I don't know, you know, look.

• 4:01Speaker 03

  I did have a conversation with a Shakespeare AI once. Like, you could go to this website, okay?

• 4:07Speaker 01

  Nah.

• 4:07Speaker 03

  Hold on, don't make fun of me.

• 4:09Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, let's hear him out.

• 4:10Speaker 03

  Yes, thank you.

• 4:10Conan O'Brien?

  We need some content for the top of the show.

• 4:12Speaker 03

  I was just curious, okay?

• 4:13Conan O'Brien?

  So far, we haven't really hit a gusher, so let's hope this is it.

• 4:16Speaker 03

  Unless you think I'm some kind of nerd, I only ask him about James Bond.

• 4:21Conan O'Brien?

  So you talked to an AI Shakespeare. So you have a lot of free time. That's what I'm getting.

• 4:27Speaker 03

  No, I'm busy talking to Shakespeare on AI.

• 4:30Speaker 01

  How did you find that someone sent it to you and was like, oh, you'd love this, Matt?

• 4:34Speaker 03

  I don't know. Maybe someone sent it or I heard about it like on a show or something. I don't remember.

• 4:42Speaker 01

  I've never done AI.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  This was early, early AI days, though.

• 4:44Speaker 01

  Oh, okay, because you wouldn't do that now.

• 4:46Speaker 03

  No, I'm too. I was AI before it was cool.

• 4:49Conan O'Brien?

  You were doing AI back in the 80s.

• 4:51Speaker 03

  Yeah, I was.

• 4:52Conan O'Brien?

  When it was basically Pong.

• 4:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, War Games.

• 4:55Speaker 04

  Did you guys hear that? Sorry to bust in.

• 4:57Conan O'Brien?

  No, anything, anything.

• 4:59Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:00Conan O'Brien?

  Because there's an old saying here, "Oh, doesn't matter what you three talk about, it'll be good." This is proof that it's not.

• 5:06Speaker 03

  Well, we need this anyway because I'm gonna edit all that out. So you go ahead.

• 5:09Conan O'Brien?

  Let's start again.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  I was just gonna say, oh, okay.

• 5:11Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, hold on a sec. Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 5:15Speaker 01

  We're doing it, do it over?

• 5:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, we're gonna do it over again. Because you know what?

• 5:18Speaker 01

  Because I don't want to do that again.

• 5:19Conan O'Brien?

  Guess what?

• 5:20Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:20Conan O'Brien?

  That was a terrible top.

• 5:21Speaker 03

  No.

• 5:22Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, no, no.

• 5:23Speaker 03

  We can work for starting over. I'd like to touch on.

• 5:26Speaker 01

  Do it again, do it again.

• 5:26Conan O'Brien?

  Blay, guess what? No one's limbo bar is lower than yours. You're like, hey, man, it was great. You guys were talking and there was talking.

• 5:33Speaker 03

  People love this shit.

• 5:34Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 5:34Speaker 01

  And go again.

• 5:35Conan O'Brien?

  Go again. Hey there and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, and we're gonna get a good top out of this show if it's the last thing I do.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  What do you mean, get a good top out of this show?

• 5:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 5:43Conan O'Brien?

  It's the beginning of the show.

• 5:45Speaker 01

  Top of the show, baby!

• 5:46Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, I'm starting again because that was, your instincts today are awful.

• 5:50Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 5:50Conan O'Brien?

  And yours are too. You both suck.

• 5:52Speaker 01

  What?

• 5:53Conan O'Brien?

  Here we go.

• 5:53Speaker 01

  You suck. The fish rots from the head, sir. You suck.

• 5:57Speaker 03

  That's right, thank you.

• 5:57Speaker 01

  Your suckiness is trickling down.

• 5:59Speaker 03

  The fish heads rot from the top.

• 6:00Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 6:00Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, Conan O'Brien here. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. We have tried seven times to start this podcast and, um, the assists I'm getting from my fellow players are just terrible. Instead of passing me the basketball, you guys are tossing it into the stands and then shooting yourselves with a German Luger. Uh, Matt, how are you?

• 6:19Speaker 03

  I talked to Shakespeare AI the other day. You gotta hear me out on this. I'm telling you.

• 6:24Conan O'Brien?

  Why are you so determined to ruin the top of the show? This is important to me. I've always wanted a good top of the show.

• 6:29Speaker 01

  I'm sorry.

• 6:30Speaker 03

  That's ridiculous.

• 6:32Conan O'Brien?

  It's been my dream since I was a kid.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  Hey, I saw two coyotes this morning.

• 6:36Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, now we're on to something. What were they doing?

• 6:39Speaker 03

  Wow.

• 6:39Speaker 01

  They were crossing the street and I was terrified seeing them do it. It was very frogger.

• 6:44Speaker 03

  That happens every day.

• 6:45Speaker 01

  No, but it was like really heavy traffic and I was like, they're gonna die.

• 6:49Speaker 03

  Oh, you were worried for them.

• 6:50Speaker 01

  And then I was like, do I want, no, I wasn't, I was rooting for the coyotes. I don't want them to die.

• 6:55Speaker 03

  No, that's what I said.

• 6:56Speaker 01

  But then I know they'll, they'll tear my-

• 6:57Speaker 03

  You were worried for them.

• 6:57Speaker 01

  But they'll tear Okie apart.

• 6:59Conan O'Brien?

  Can I just say something, Matt? Everything you've contributed today sucks. You're, you're throwing in, you're not helping. I'm understanding her and you keep throwing these giant steel anvils into the conversation and clanging away and now you're giving me a rap like, we got it.

• 7:15Speaker 03

  We're out of time.

• 7:16Conan O'Brien?

  No!

• 7:16Speaker 03

  We're out of time.

• 7:17Conan O'Brien?

  No, we're not out of time. We're gonna get something good. So you saw two coyotes, did you?

• 7:22Speaker 01

  I did.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  Tell me about it.

• 7:23Conan O'Brien?

  Now, I'm taking away your speaking privileges for the next year. So, Sona.

• 7:29Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:30Conan O'Brien?

  Curious about these coyotes. A lot of people in this world haven't seen a coyote. It's like a dog, only skinnier.

• 7:35Speaker 01

  Hey, you know what? It is. It's like a dog, only skinnier. And every time I see him, I'm like-

• 7:39Speaker 03

  You're trading my content for this?

• 7:40Speaker 01

  You, you shut, shut up. I'm on fire right now.

• 7:43Conan O'Brien?

  She's on fire.

• 7:44Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 7:45Conan O'Brien?

  She's got a hot hand and you keep knocking her royal flush out of her hand.

• 7:48Speaker 01

  You're off.

• 7:48Conan O'Brien?

  And you're playing Hungry Hungry Hippos in the corner like a drunk idiot. Go ahead, Sona.

• 7:52Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're off, I'm on today. So the coyotes.

• 7:55Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, Sona.

• 7:55Speaker 01

  So I'm watching them and I'm like, these animals will kill Okie.

• 7:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Do I cheer? Do I cheer for their demise? Or do I want them to live? And you know what? I want them to live.

• 8:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, I root for animals to live in the wild. They do. Even if they're coyotes. I root for all animals everywhere. Man, Sona, preach! Preach! You were great today, Sona. That was terrific. We learned about wildlife and about your neighborhood and then you.

• 8:20Speaker 03

  I'm so glad I seeded the floor for that. That was really top notch.

• 8:23Speaker 01

  Oh, also, I spoke to a Shakespeare AI and it was like-

• 8:28Conan O'Brien?

  I hate the opening and I apologize to everyone.

• 8:30Speaker 03

  I'm listening.

• 8:31Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, man, let's just start talking and whatever we say will be great. And Blay will be like, yeah, man, it was really great.

• 8:37Speaker 03

  Look at all the laughs we're having. I rest my case.

• 8:39Speaker 01

  We're having a good time.

• 8:40Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:41Speaker 01

  Do you want to start it again? And then rap?

• 8:43Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:43Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, and welcome to Conan O'Brien, he's a friend, I'm Conan. You don't need to know the rest. You're gonna love today's show. My guest today is co-creator, showrunner and writer of an actually good show. The Emmy award-winning series that's thought about beforehand. They don't just throw it out there like a bucket of diarrhea. Hacks.

• 9:06Conan O'Brien?

  I'm thrilled he's here today because he actually makes something people enjoy that has thought, structure, content. Paul W. Downs, welcome.

• 9:15Speaker 02

  You didn't pause.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 9:17Speaker 02

  Oh, my god.

• 9:18Conan O'Brien?

  I'm thrilled he's here today.

• 9:28Conan O'Brien?

  Paul W. Downs, welcome.

• 9:34Conan O'Brien?

  I am an admirer of your work.

• 9:37Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 9:38Conan O'Brien?

  And.

• 9:38Speaker 02

  Likewise.

• 9:39Conan O'Brien?

  And of course, I want to shout out your cohorts on Hacks at the very top.

• 9:45Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 9:45Conan O'Brien?

  Your lovely wife.

• 9:46Speaker 02

  Yes. Lucia.

• 9:48Conan O'Brien?

  Lucia. I want to make sure you said it first because I was afraid that I would.

• 9:51Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 9:51Conan O'Brien?

  I was looking at like Lucia, but I've also heard it pronounced Lucia.

• 9:55Speaker 02

  Yep. Lucia. There's a lot.

• 9:56Conan O'Brien?

  Lucia.

• 9:57Speaker 02

  It is a tricky one.

• 9:59Conan O'Brien?

  Jen Stotsky.

• 10:00Speaker 02

  Yes. I thought you were waiting for me to say which of the two I was married to. Because sometimes that is a question.

• 10:05Conan O'Brien?

  I thought it might be a throuple.

• 10:06Speaker 02

  Hey, you're not alone if you read the tweets, you know? I don't. I don't, but I've heard.

• 10:11Conan O'Brien?

  I write the tweets.

• 10:12Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 10:14Conan O'Brien?

  I'm putting it out there that it's a throuple.

• 10:16Speaker 02

  Hey.

• 10:16Conan O'Brien?

  Because you know what? That gets a lot of heat out there. You just want the clicks.

• 10:21Speaker 02

  That's all I want. It's about clicks.

• 10:23Conan O'Brien?

  Hacks is a wonderful show.

• 10:26Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 10:26Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm always suspicious when a show is going to. And I've run into a bunch of times and I remembered saying this to Gene Smart and Hannah. I remember telling them, when I bumped into them, that I'm suspicious when a show is going to portray people that are trying to create comedy, think of comedy. I think usually it goes wrong.

• 10:47Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm.

• 10:48Conan O'Brien?

  Because, and it's difficult, but if you're trying, if there's a movie that's portraying someone sculpting, a sculptor is going to watch it and go, "That's not how you do it."

• 10:58Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 10:59Conan O'Brien?

  Well, that's how sculptors talk.

• 11:00Speaker 02

  What happened in Austria?

• 11:02Conan O'Brien?

  This sculptor, by the way, was injured.

• 11:04Speaker 02

  I got that far.

• 11:05Conan O'Brien?

  A chisel fell on him. A chisel fell from a high height. And it hurt his brain.

• 11:12Speaker 01

  What happened?

• 11:13Conan O'Brien?

  Um.

• 11:14Speaker 02

  I think he's attempting an accent, but it's more of a like actual disability.

• 11:19Conan O'Brien?

  This is an injured guy and he's, you know, this is not a foreign man. This is a man who's-

• 11:23Speaker 01

  Oh, it's not a foreign man?

• 11:25Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, he was just injured by a high-falling chisel. He's from New Jersey. He's from New Jersey. And he's Springsteen, but a very terrible, terrible injury.

• 11:34Speaker 01

  Stupid.

• 11:35Conan O'Brien?

  So stupid, I apologize. And the point that I'm gonna get back to, which began as a compliment and then turned into, uh, probably just a horrible sketch. It's almost impossible to do it and then you guys come up with hacks and I see people struggling to create comedy and then perform comedy. And I think, oh, I think that's the closest I've seen to how it really is.

• 11:58Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 11:58Conan O'Brien?

  And of course, that comes from you guys being very talented, but also being still quite young and coming from this world.

• 12:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 12:06Conan O'Brien?

  You started out, I mean, as a kid, you were making content all the time, even if it was just for yourself, right?

• 12:13Speaker 02

  It was just for myself, yeah. There was, there was no social media. There was no YouTube, thank goodness, I think.

• 12:18Conan O'Brien?

  You're 77 years old.

• 12:19Speaker 02

  That's right, that's right.

• 12:20Conan O'Brien?

  That's what it says here.

• 12:20Speaker 02

  There, there wasn't even, uh, there wasn't even cellular, actually.

• 12:24Conan O'Brien?

  Wow.

• 12:25Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, I had the stick and hoop and I was making myself, I was entertaining myself with a stick and hoop.

• 12:31Conan O'Brien?

  Sometimes you play with the butter churn.

• 12:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. Oh my gosh.

• 12:34Conan O'Brien?

  But you, um, you were making content and this I can relate to because I don't think I needed an audience if I was in my room.

• 12:42Speaker 02

  Right.

• 12:42Conan O'Brien?

  I was doing this shit and I'm, you seem like a similar fellow to me.

• 12:46Speaker 02

  Hundred percent, hundred percent. That went, and what an honor for you to say that. But yeah, I, um, I would entertain myself in the mirror. I wish my son did that because now I have a toddler who needs a lot of attention and I was like, I entertain myself for hours, you know?

• 12:59Conan O'Brien?

  All you need is a mirror and delusion.

• 13:02Speaker 02

  Exactly. I still have both.

• 13:04Conan O'Brien?

  In equal measure, yeah. Let's talk about your creation story. It was interesting to me because the minute I saw you and your work, I thought, well, they're all improvisers. And then I find out that you started doing stand-up initially or dabbled in stand-up a little bit?

• 13:21Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 13:21Conan O'Brien?

  It's interesting because I always knew. I mean, I did early, early on, I did some emceeing. But I knew I needed a gang. I needed either my gang of writers. Or I needed my improv gang. I needed some kind of a squad. That I understood early on. When did you figure out that that was kind of what you were looking for?

• 13:47Speaker 02

  You know, I did, I always, I did sketch in high school. I did sketch and improv in college. And then when I moved to New York, I, I was like, you know, I want to be a, I want to be an actor. I'm gonna just audition for things and, and I'll do stand up. I'll try my hand at that because I, I idolized stand ups and always loved watching stand up. I watched like, you know, Premium Blend on Comedy Central. Growing up where there was a lot of female stand ups who I admire a lot. And so I tried it and I found it really lonely. I found it really hard.

• 14:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 14:14Speaker 02

  I was also doing a lot of characters and at the time, you know, I think there are like phases that stand up goes through. And at the time I would say, hey, I have a couple of sound cues. Do you guys have tech? And they were like, what? They were like tech. I was like, yeah, do you mind if I bring out a wig and a rattle? And they were like, all right. I don't think you belong here. And it didn't really work.

• 14:31Conan O'Brien?

  Seinfeld requested none of this.

• 14:33Speaker 02

  No. And now it's so funny because now I see stand up and a lot of people have PowerPoints and they have tons of tech and a lot of sound, you know? So it's different now, but when I was doing it, I, I, for a minute, and I, I didn't mean a minute. I was probably four or five months after graduating that I didn't do improv. Then I did stand up. Found it very hard. And then I went to the Upper East Citizens Brigade and did improv and sketch because I missed it.

• 14:57Conan O'Brien?

  You get to UCB and there you meet, you start to meet your people.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 15:02Conan O'Brien?

  Not just Lucia, Jen.

• 15:04Speaker 01

  Lucia.

• 15:05Conan O'Brien?

  Lucia.

• 15:06Speaker 02

  Lucia, it's like cappuccino. You know, that's how you.

• 15:08Conan O'Brien?

  Lucia.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  Lucia.

• 15:09Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. I'm Conando.

• 15:12Speaker 03

  Did you just get hit with a chisel?

• 15:14Conan O'Brien?

  Fernando, yes.

• 15:15Speaker 02

  Fernando from New Jersey.

• 15:16Speaker 01

  Your accents are a problem.

• 15:18Conan O'Brien?

  Excuse me, I don't think they are. I think they show a great caring.

• 15:23Speaker 02

  It's empathy.

• 15:24Conan O'Brien?

  Thank you so much. And that's now recorded. I can use that at the trial. Abby Jacobson.

• 15:30Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 15:30Conan O'Brien?

  Leona Glazer. You start working with these hilarious people. This is where you start to find, oh, we're all like-minded. We're in a groove here.

• 15:41Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 15:41Conan O'Brien?

  That's such a magical moment, isn't it?

• 15:43Speaker 02

  It was, it was, it saved me, I think. You know, especially moving to New York and, I don't know, you move to New York, you have survival jobs, it's really hard. Living there is hard. And finding people that were like-minded, had a similar sense of humor was huge for all of us, I feel like, you know, and it really, we found our people and started to make things and the rest is kind of history.

• 16:04Conan O'Brien?

  It is the same thing, not just in comedy, but I think for musicians, sculptors.

• 16:13Conan O'Brien?

  Across the board.

• 16:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:15Conan O'Brien?

  Because I so remember kind of finding some of my group in college and then getting out to LA and doing improv at the Groundlings and starting to find my people. And you start to think, hey, I'm not crazy.

• 16:31Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:31Conan O'Brien?

  That was the first feeling I had is, there were all those years where I just thought, well, something's wrong with me. And yes, there probably is, but then you find other people with the same, whatever it is, issues, malady.

• 16:42Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 16:43Conan O'Brien?

  And you're all having fun and you're meeting at a diner afterwards to talk down the show. And it's, few things will replace that joy.

• 16:50Speaker 02

  Yes. I mean, I, I think about that a lot, that, I mean, we still do it. I'm so lucky to still do it with my best friend and my wife, but us doing shows and going exactly to a diner and talking about the show, or talking about something we'd watched, or talking about a sketch we'd seen, you know, and it's weird. It is like a, it is like a special language that people share, I think, when they have a similar sense of humor. And that's not just comedians. Of course, it's a deeper level in a way for people that try and do it professionally. But, you know, I feel like anybody that you have a, have a similar sense of humor with and who can make you laugh, it's just such a, such a unique and special thing.

• 17:24Conan O'Brien?

  Here's the interesting thing to me, or an area that's interesting, is that you have this world of making comedy, jokes, bits, sketches, inside references with your friends. And you're making content at UCB, you're putting stuff up, you're having fun. And then, at some point, if you're very fortunate and also good at what you do, it turns into a business. And pressure is applied and expectations are applied. And there are budgets and there's a lot of people around looking at you and saying, um, hey, what's going on today?

• 18:04Conan O'Brien?

  And I've always found it interesting that it, that one of the challenges is to make sure you still keep the joy in it.

• 18:11Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:11Conan O'Brien?

  When that is applied. And when I think about hacks, this is a big show.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:17Conan O'Brien?

  I drive around LA and there are giant buildings that are just dedicated, they've been painted over the windows. People can't see out their windows anymore because Gene Smart's face has been painted over them.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  It's blocking the view, yeah.

• 18:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, it's a children's hospital. These poor, sick kids.

• 18:34Speaker 02

  They need light surgery.

• 18:35Conan O'Brien?

  And they, they're operating in the dark.

• 18:38Speaker 02

  There's no vitamin D.

• 18:39Conan O'Brien?

  Because a giant, and a eye binder, and I mean, it's terrible, what's happening to children? Sorry again, it's a big show, it's a big deal, uh, and it's a smash hit. And so you've got to be adults.

• 18:55Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 18:56Conan O'Brien?

  And you've got to meet expectations. And you've got a big fan base. But you also have to keep that silly joy going.

• 19:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 19:04Conan O'Brien?

  Do you, talk about that for a little bit?

• 19:06Speaker 02

  Well, that is so funny. It's, it's, it's true. I mean, our first, our first job job was, um, was on Broad City. And at Comedy Central, it was a low budget show. You know, we didn't know if it would break through, we didn't know if people would watch. And we kind of, it was like, it was almost kids in a candy store, you know, there was just us figuring out how to make TV because we had never done it.

• 19:24Conan O'Brien?

  And you're doing it, my favorite kind of comedy is when I can tell people are doing this for themselves.

• 19:28Speaker 02

  Oh, yeah.

• 19:29Conan O'Brien?

  And I think, uh, one of the things I loved about Broad City, and it's the Same thing I would have said about classic SCTV or so many shows that I loved is that I had the impression that they were doing this for themselves to make themselves laugh. And then I just happened to be stumbling upon it.

• 19:46Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 19:47Conan O'Brien?

  And that was some of the beauty of it.

• 19:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, totally. And you know, that we kind of showcased that in a way in episode four of the season. When Deborah just looks at one person and looks at Ava, because I remember doing solo shows at UCB, several, which is embarrassing to say. I did several solo shows and sometimes no one would be laughing except Lucia.

• 20:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 20:08Speaker 02

  And I was like, okay.

• 20:09Conan O'Brien?

  I must marry this one.

• 20:12Conan O'Brien?

  And then I will call her Lucia. Her true name Lucia. You're not fooling anyone. I've been to the DMV. I know how you spell your name.

• 20:21Speaker 02

  But yeah, we try. I mean, and that's, I think, the secret of this show's success is also that we continue to try and make each other laugh. I mean, that's what we do. We, when the three of us are writing together, oftentimes we all write the same scene.

• 20:32Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 20:33Speaker 02

  Separately and then switch and just highlight things we like. And then we combine them. So it's almost like a third draft.

• 20:39Conan O'Brien?

  Yep.

• 20:40Speaker 02

  And all I'm trying to do is make these two women laugh. So it is for each other as much as it is for everybody. And that was very true on Broad City and it's still true on Hacks and Lucia, you know, always, always talks about following the fun. You have to follow the fun.

• 20:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 20:53Speaker 02

  And we try and do that on set and it's so hard when there's time and budgets and actors and crew and 300 people making something. To balance all of that and still have the freedom to figure something out or to follow the fun of something.

• 21:07Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 21:08Speaker 02

  Is a real challenge, but we, we are there for each other to remind each other to do it.

• 21:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 21:12Speaker 02

  Which is not easy, but.

• 21:14Conan O'Brien?

  No, I wouldn't think it'd be easy, but I think you're also, you have such a funny cast of which you are a part, which is interesting. You wear so many hats on this show, but Megan Stalter is so funny.

• 21:25Speaker 02

  So funny.

• 21:26Conan O'Brien?

  You get me started on Jean Smart, who's just, she is, she is funny in so many different ways.

• 21:36Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 21:36Conan O'Brien?

  And when I watch her perform, I think she's, she's not hitting one note. She's not hitting five notes. She can hit every note in the register. And I'm so in awe of her and happy for her that you guys created this because she needed a role. She's always been funny.

• 21:52Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 21:53Conan O'Brien?

  But she, this role shows you that she's funny and she can break your heart.

• 21:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. She is so good. I think you're right. Like, we often talk about the, the music of jokes and the sound and the rhythm and, you know, sometimes you have to, you, you have to adjust an actor and help them make the sound you want. She always knocks it out of the park and then gives us more. And we're like, oh my God, she hit a note we didn't even know. And it's so true that she also is so gifted as an actress that she plays those emotional beats in a way that, I, I, it's, we, we, we cry at Monitor a lot, which is crazy, you know, still.

• 22:28Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 22:29Speaker 02

  Because she can break your heart and she, yeah, she has been the funniest thing in so many things. I remember her on Frasier.

• 22:34Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 22:34Speaker 02

  Being so funny. Or in the Brady Bunch movie, I was, you know, I was like, the horny neighbor is the funniest part.

• 22:41Speaker 02

  I love the horny neighbor. It's so cool to have her, show her range in the show.

• 22:53Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 22:55Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 22:55Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 23:10Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 23:10Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 23:19Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 23:23Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in a Ioniq 5N, which I love.

• 23:27Speaker 01

  Mm-hmm.

• 23:28Conan O'Brien?

  Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 23:43Speaker 01

  Hello.

• 23:43Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I had this memorized, H-Track. All wheel drive up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality innovation technology and value drivers expect from an award winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details. Your name represents everything you've built, okay? Everything like I feel that way about my name. Yeah. It stands for all of the work, good and not so good.

• 24:28Conan O'Brien?

  But guess what? Your children's names represent their whole futures. Yeah. Your children haven't even started building their futures, but their identities are already valuable. Your child's clean credit history can make them a target for identity thieves. Never thought of it that way, but it's true. Identity thieves can open loans and credit cards using your child's social security number, racking up debt and ruining their credit. And you may not notice until they try and get their first credit card. So it could be a long time. Yeah. Well, guess what? With LifeLock, you can add family members to your plan, giving you the power to block identity threats targeting your children. Now Sony, your kids are pretty young still. They are. Five, but within a couple of years, you know, they're going to be buying heavy machinery online. What? They're going to be become tractor fanatics.

• 25:11Conan O'Brien?

  They're going to be buying tractors online. So if you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. So join now, save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply. This fall, I want to try something different. What? I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm going to try and make apple cider. Oh. Every morning. Okay. This fall, just to see if I can do it. Yeah. Yeah, fall is the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile. Oh, that's good. See what I did? Yeah. Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You want to hear what they are? Yeah. They're America's best network. Okay.

• 25:56Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus T-Mobile has got off grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes. Oh, that's weird. When I'm thinking about like making apple cider. Oh. And that's when it comes in handy. Here's another reason. High speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the. Travel a lot. Travel show that I do. Yeah. Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 26:25Speaker 01

  That doesn't seem like a good idea.

• 26:26Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 26:27Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 26:28Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 26:32Speaker 01

  My god.

• 26:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. No, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 26:37Speaker 01

  I agree.

• 26:38Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to T-Mobile.com and find yours best based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-Satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit T-Mobile.com. Consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 27:02Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 27:08Conan O'Brien?

  Women have been just such a big part of your comedy experience. I mean, you look at not just Lucia, not just Jen. I'm gonna say Lucia.

• 27:21Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 27:22Speaker 02

  I actually think you might be talking about a different person at this point. Who's, I'm sure, wonderful as well.

• 27:27Conan O'Brien?

  Sure. I'm talking about Lucia Aldente. Terrific comedy writer who lives on the island of Sardinia.

• 27:38Speaker 01

  Oh, my god.

• 27:42Conan O'Brien?

  I'm never gonna say her name again.

• 27:44Speaker 02

  It's funny because you asked for clarity. The first thing you did.

• 27:46Conan O'Brien?

  I know, but I'm, can I say something? Maybe there is something wrong with me. Or maybe she and I have beef and this is my way of getting at her.

• 27:54Speaker 01

  Passive aggressive.

• 27:55Conan O'Brien?

  It's so passive aggressive. She cut me off on the 405 eight years ago.

• 28:01Speaker 02

  And her license plate is Lucia, so he knew.

• 28:04Conan O'Brien?

  And I rolled down my window. Lucia, Lucia from now on. And she said, what?

• 28:10Speaker 02

  You'll see.

• 28:11Conan O'Brien?

  I said, you'll see. Give this riff time to grow.

• 28:17Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, Jen, Gia, Megan, you've got two powerhouse female leads. It feels to me like you've, this has always been your comfort zone is being around all these funny women. What a broad city.

• 28:34Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:35Conan O'Brien?

  I was reading some article about you and it said that you had a revelation when you saw Young Frankenstein.

• 28:39Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 28:40Conan O'Brien?

  Tell me what that was.

• 28:41Speaker 02

  Well, so my dad is a comedy fan and I remember watching Young Frankenstein as a kid and loving it. And of course I loved Gene Wilder in it and wanted to be Gene Wilder, but I was really, that, that my first, like my foray into doing comedy was to do Chloris Leachman's lines.

• 28:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 28:59Speaker 02

  Or Valentin, you know, and it's like, stay close to the candles, the stars can be treacherous. Like she was so funny in that movie.

• 29:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 29:06Speaker 02

  And Terry Garr is so funny in the movie and Madeline Khan is so funny in that movie. And so I always was like, well, I think, I think the girls are funnier than the guys.

• 29:15Conan O'Brien?

  And I'll say this, who in the world is funnier than Gene Wilder? Gene Wilder, that is maybe, that is my favorite performance of his and it's so

• 29:25Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 29:26Conan O'Brien?

  beautifully honed and we're talking about the women in the movie.

• 29:30Speaker 02

  I know.

• 29:31Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, and I mean, he's, he's one of the greats of all time and he's giving the performance of a lifetime.

• 29:36Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:36Conan O'Brien?

  And not to take anything away from him, but I can understand that. That's a, that's a, that's a great movie for anyone to see.

• 29:43Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:44Conan O'Brien?

  And, and, and learn very quickly that women are the funniest people in the room.

• 29:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, a hundred percent. And, and it's true. I mean, Gene Wilder in that movie is so good because it's so grounded and yet so screwball and so crazy. He, he's just incredible in it, but I felt that way also, I was a Nick at Night kid, so I watched a lot of Nick at Night. And watching I Love Lucy or Mary Tyler Moore, it was always, it was always, it was oftentimes a female story that I liked. I also, you know, I was never a jock. I was never, you know what I mean? I never, yeah, I know. Can you believe it?

• 30:15Conan O'Brien?

  I was a jock and then about a year ago.

• 30:18Speaker 02

  What?

• 30:19Conan O'Brien?

  We'll talk about it later.

• 30:20Speaker 02

  You hung up the bat.

• 30:23Speaker 02

  You retired the bat, yeah.

• 30:25Conan O'Brien?

  Most people assume I'm a real jock. You were saying, I'm sorry, I interrupted you with my stupid. But you were saying that you were noticing early on in Nick at Night, you're watching all these women. And a name you didn't mention, it was a thrilling moment for me. There's a moment where, this season where Jean Smart goes to a cardiologist just to get a checkup in the waiting room, she sees Carol Burnett. We had Carol Burnett on the podcast about a year ago. I've met Carol a bunch of times and I will never be jaded. I'm always walking on air afterwards. And she is still so sharp and so funny. And she was great in that scene, playing herself.

• 31:05Speaker 02

  Unbelievable, unbelievably funny, unbelievably sharp. Wanted to, had things to add, was like, you know, I can do a Carol Channing impression. There was so much that she did.

• 31:14Conan O'Brien?

  I can juggle.

• 31:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, I mean, honestly, it was really amazing. And we shot that at Television City, steps away from her stage where she shot the Carol Burnett show, which we had, you know, asked permission to feature last season when we shot there, just to show it, because she's such an inspiration for us. And we needed somebody in this season that Deborah Vance could get sage wisdom from and look up to and like, who better than Carol Burnett? And the fact that she responded to the show and wanted to do it, it was a goosebump moment for all of us. It was really crazy.

• 31:43Conan O'Brien?

  The show delves into late night this year, which was fascinating for me because there are things that you cite in the show that I've lived through. And so I'll get a little bit of PTSD from watching it, but it's also really funny and apt, you know, like getting notes or this is what we heard about, you know, in the early days of my late night show, research and what are people saying and what do we need to try and adjust? And it was all stuff that just felt impossible.

• 32:18Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 32:18Conan O'Brien?

  I'm kind of reliving it a little bit through your show, but you guys are doing a very good job of hitting a bunch of the nerves, which means you're getting it right.

• 32:27Speaker 02

  That's good, that's good. I mean, you know, obviously like we talk about you and your shows a lot and we did a lot this season making it and we tried to get it right, you know?

• 32:36Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah.

• 32:37Speaker 02

  And just writing the show about making the show.

• 32:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 32:40Speaker 02

  Was so stressful and so hard. I'm like, I didn't do five shows a week.

• 32:43Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 32:44Speaker 02

  And have to do monologue jokes.

• 32:45Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 32:45Speaker 02

  And yet, I, I, I viscerally, I felt the pressure of that. It's crazy.

• 32:49Conan O'Brien?

  There's a great moment where, um, Deborah Vance is trying out, she's meeting the new writers for the first time and they're going around the room. And there's one, people are throwing out funny ideas and then there's one writer who's new, who's just like, yeah, and then he says something that's not that funny. And.

• 33:07Speaker 02

  Menchefarts.

• 33:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Yeah, I meant she farts, huh? Cause she, cause she farts. Which by the way.

• 33:13Speaker 02

  Which is funny.

• 33:14Conan O'Brien?

  It's very funny.

• 33:15Speaker 02

  It's funny. Uh, sorry.

• 33:16Conan O'Brien?

  I would say head writer.

• 33:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 33:17Conan O'Brien?

  Right away.

• 33:19Speaker 02

  He's promoted.

• 33:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 33:20Speaker 02

  Um. The fart guy's promoted.

• 33:21Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Good fart guy back. But anyway. He does it twice and you see Jean Smart notice it and then Jean Smart writes on a piece of paper and slides it over to, to Hannah and it says, riff killer. Which is such a great because it's a little inside baseball, but we call it riffing, which is people are in a room, they're coming up with good ideas riffing. And then she just slides across riff killer because we've all been in a room where things are cooking. And then one person in the room is like, yeah, and then maybe it's George W. Bush. And everyone has to reset. No one wants to be a dick.

• 33:57Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 33:58Conan O'Brien?

  And we all go.

• 33:58Speaker 01

  Eduardo's pointing to Blake.

• 34:00Speaker 02

  Whoa.

• 34:01Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, Blake.

• 34:03Speaker 04

  You know, it's me.

• 34:05Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, but I don't.

• 34:07Speaker 04

  You don't need to pretend I'm right here. You don't need to just talk about like some people are, some people are riff killers.

• 34:12Conan O'Brien?

  He thought it was a compliment, so he got it tattooed. He got riff, he got riff killer.

• 34:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 34:17Conan O'Brien?

  Tattooed on his low back.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Oh, that's nice. That's nice.

• 34:19Conan O'Brien?

  Riff killer. But anyway, I love that moment. And then I have to bring this up, which is, cause I just watched it last night. There's a scene where, this killed me. It's, it's a very funny joke, um, and nonsensical. But, uh, Jean Smart, Deborah has stolen, uh, a guest, is trying to steal a guest away who would have been on Kimmel. And Kimmel's confronting her and saying, look, you know, I get this guest. You don't get this guest. She's trying to get Kristen Bell on her show and Jimmy Kimmel confronts her and says, you don't get Kristen Bell because she always does my show. She's been doing, uh, I got sort of possession of having her as a guest after Conan died.

• 35:04Conan O'Brien?

  And you know what I loved about it is that it said with no one questions it. It's just like, since Conan died, you know, I get her after Conan died. And it's just like, that's understood and I'm laughing because no one questions it.

• 35:17Speaker 03

  But in that universe, you're dead and you can never be on that show except for flashbacks.

• 35:21Speaker 02

  Oh no, don't say that. We definitely want you on the show.

• 35:24Conan O'Brien?

  I think we've settled that score.

• 35:25Speaker 02

  No, no.

• 35:26Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But it was so funny to me, it's such a funny, I always like jokes that upon examination, they make me laugh on a guttural level, but they also don't make sense.

• 35:36Speaker 02

  It makes no sense.

• 35:36Conan O'Brien?

  And he says it the way, we all know that Charles Lindbergh is dead. You know, it just, it was so funny. It was such a great moment.

• 35:45Speaker 02

  I have to give him credit because you know, that was a Jimmy Kimmel improvised line.

• 35:50Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, wow.

• 35:51Speaker 02

  So I did not write that line.

• 35:52Conan O'Brien?

  That's great. And you write that down?

• 35:53Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 35:54Conan O'Brien?

  He will be repaid in kind. I can't wait to mispronounce his name. Shame.

• 36:02Speaker 02

  Shame Kamal. Shame, shame, shame.

• 36:05Conan O'Brien?

  Lucia. Have you met Shame?

• 36:10Speaker 02

  So you're very much alive in our universe.

• 36:12Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, well, thank you.

• 36:13Speaker 02

  And I do mean it. I want to, I want to say it here. We would love to have you on the show.

• 36:16Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I would.

• 36:17Speaker 02

  We would absolutely love it. Okay.

• 36:18Conan O'Brien?

  Then we can come up with a way that I was resuscitated.

• 36:20Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 36:25Conan O'Brien?

  I, um, no, it's, it's a, it's a joy to watch and I think one of the things that's interesting to me is it's all about, like a magician makes you believe in the illusion. And so I know it's a TV show, but you guys have me emotionally invested in what happens to Deborah Vance and does this late night show work? And I hope this late night show works out. Currently, things seem a little wobbly, but I'm emotionally invested in it, which means you've, you're very good illusionists.

• 36:57Speaker 02

  Well, thank you.

• 36:57Conan O'Brien?

  You know, you've, you've created this world that I'm completely invested in.

• 37:01Speaker 02

  Thank you. I mean, a lot of that credit goes to Gene and Hannah as well for making these characters so real. I feel that way too. I mean, I know, I know we write the show, but we, they feel so real to all of us. And I think they do now. Now to them as well. There are some, there are some scenes this season when I think both Jean and Hannah do some of their best work in the show. And we're like, God, that was good after. And they're like, I just said it because I feel, you know, I mean, now it's like so in their bones. They feel these characters are so real.

• 37:28Conan O'Brien?

  I think something Hannah does really well, just as an observer, is that she clearly wants a maternal figure. She wants a connection with this incredibly tough, uh, you know, Jean Smart character. She, and she wants this so badly, but she also knows she has to be tough. And there's this great moment where, without giving anything away, but she, she gets a hug from Jean and you see Hannah kind of melt a little bit because she's getting that connection that she really wants from not just her comedy hero, but also someone who she has a real connection with and, and cares about.

• 38:10Conan O'Brien?

  And you see her soften a little bit and then Jean Smart reveals that she's doing it just because there's a camera on them.

• 38:17Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 38:17Conan O'Brien?

  And that's why she's doing it. And she needs to make it look good for the camera. And you see the heartbreak. I mean, Hannah, uh, is killing it.

• 38:26Speaker 02

  She is incredible.

• 38:27Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 38:28Speaker 02

  She is incredible. And she does, like you're saying, so much sometimes with no dialogue, you know, she's so funny and she's such a good stand up herself. But yeah, she's so incredibly good. And it's hard, I think, to be that good. I mean, obviously your scene partner does a lot of the lifting and helps you out, but to do what she does with Jean is really incredible.

• 38:49Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know. I, I don't work with people that lift me up.

• 38:52Speaker 02

  Well, it's hard when you have to lift everyone up. I know it's hard.

• 38:55Conan O'Brien?

  Can I just say for a second, I feel like I'm an Olympic swimmer and I have two cinder blocks around my neck.

• 39:00Speaker 02

  Oof. Okay. You are a jock.

• 39:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 39:03Speaker 02

  If you can do that.

• 39:04Speaker 01

  We make you stronger.

• 39:05Conan O'Brien?

  You do? Oh, I see.

• 39:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. We test you and make you stronger. You're welcome.

• 39:09Speaker 02

  That's what you want.

• 39:09Speaker 03

  Yeah, we're actively trying to drown you.

• 39:12Speaker 02

  It's called drag. It's called drag when you have cinder blocks.

• 39:15Speaker 03

  Kill you.

• 39:15Speaker 02

  I was a swimmer, even though I wasn't a jock.

• 39:17Speaker 01

  Oh, okay.

• 39:18Speaker 02

  You need the drag every now and again.

• 39:19Speaker 01

  You need a drag.

• 39:20Conan O'Brien?

  I do. I do it. I do need it. Um. Your character Jimmy, your relationship with Kayla, Megan Stalter, is, I will say this, I haven't seen, I don't think I've seen that relationship on TV before. Do you know what I'm talking about?

• 39:35Speaker 01

  I love, love, love that relationship.

• 39:37Conan O'Brien?

  It's a relationship, it's a dynamic that I have, and I'm flipping through my comedy nerd mind, trying to find the same thing, and I'm like, nope, I don't think it's there. I think that's a new thing you've cracked.

• 39:48Speaker 02

  Thank you. I mean, you know, we-

• 39:49Conan O'Brien?

  She's over the top insane.

• 39:50Speaker 02

  So insane, so insane.

• 39:52Conan O'Brien?

  And you are trying much more. I love that. You are, and I have some experience with an insane assistant.

• 40:00Speaker 01

  Oh my god!

• 40:01Conan O'Brien?

  But you know what I'm saying, don't I?

• 40:02Speaker 01

  No, I don't know what you're saying. I'm nothing like her. I do, but I love how different- What the fuck are you looking at me like that, Paul?

• 40:09Speaker 02

  I'm just looking, I'm just laughing.

• 40:11Conan O'Brien?

  We have hours of footage of you acting insane.

• 40:15Speaker 01

  Oh, there's not enough footage of you being insane?

• 40:17Conan O'Brien?

  I'm the star, I'm expected to be insane.

• 40:20Speaker 01

  At least Paul's character is like a normal person.

• 40:23Conan O'Brien?

  He's a normal boss, yeah.

• 40:24Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're insane.

• 40:26Conan O'Brien?

  I love how patient you are, your character is, Jimmy is with Kayla. It's to an, and that's, some of the comedy is to an absurd degree, and it reminds me a little bit of, one of the things that makes Groucho so funny is Margaret Dumont. Because Margaret Dumont, he's acting insane, and she's next to him going like, "Ho, ho, Groucho", and then, well, anyway, let's move forward, when anyone else would say, "I'm getting the fuck away from this person", but what makes it work is you, you can't, the whole dynamic of yes and is you are sticking with Kayla, with Megan Stalter, you're gonna stick with her, and she's gonna have awful, awful ideas with great confidence.

• 41:05Speaker 02

  Yes, yeah, she's somebody who, well, Megan is so funny, and so, so good, in everything she does, but when we, this is one character we kind of ripped from real life. This is based on a couple of assistants that people that we've worked with have had, and that we've experienced.

• 41:21Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 41:21Speaker 02

  Sometimes who are nepo and have entitlement, but also a little bit of insecurity, like having this extreme confidence and yet nerves is a really funny dynamic, and that is a duality that Meg plays in some of her original characters. So, we were like, she would be great for this, and yeah, we thought it was really funny to have somebody who is, in the beginning at least, both his assistant and his boss, kind of, because her dad owns the management firm that they work-

• 41:45Conan O'Brien?

  And now- Your initial problem is how do I get rid of this assistant? And now you're partners in this season. And I love that you just keep turning up the dial on. And what's also great is occasionally she has a good idea.

• 41:58Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's the thing. She, I do think that's true in the entertainment business and in management. You have to sometimes think outside the box and be insane. And Jimmy is not insane. He's very by the book. He's very earnest and sometimes those crazy ideas actually work. So weirdly, she is a better manager than she is assistant. She's terrible at being an assistant, but she has some out of the box ideas that, especially this season, that really do work.

• 42:19Conan O'Brien?

  I want to ask you a little bit about the dynamic of your comedy partner is also your romantic partner. And that's something that I've, fascinates me. My wife is super smart, really funny. We've never collaborated on anything. I've always thought, huh, that's a whole, that's like a Bermuda triangle that I have not gone into. And maybe we will someday, but how does that dynamic work? Or did it just, you always knew it was gonna work?

• 42:49Speaker 02

  Well, we started, we were on an improv team together and we started doing sketch videos before we were ever dating. And it was in making those things, because she's so smart and funny, that attracted us to each other. And so we started dating kind of after we were already working together a bit. And, but she's my, she's the best audience. You know, she's the person that I want to make, that it feels the best to make her laugh. She has such a good laugh and I love making her laugh. So, and it's been a real cheat for us to work together, not just because we have each other as an audience and as cheerleaders, but also, you know, in this business, you don't see your spouse if you're working as hard as we're working. So thank God we're on set together.

• 43:25Conan O'Brien?

  That's really nice.

• 43:26Speaker 02

  You know, we get to be together. I think it's different for different people, but I mean, you know, your wife being smart and funny, you know what it's like to make that person laugh.

• 43:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 43:33Speaker 02

  You know what I mean? Like it's part of the romance.

• 43:35Conan O'Brien?

  And also if she can really laugh and she makes me really laugh, that's the glue.

• 43:41Speaker 02

  Yeah, that's the glue. That's right.

• 43:43Conan O'Brien?

  Have you ever wondered if Lucia said yes, just because, accepted your proposal just because she was yes anding you?

• 43:50Speaker 01

  Oh my God.

• 43:51Conan O'Brien?

  Because of improv training?

• 43:53Speaker 02

  Honestly, I had until now.

• 43:55Conan O'Brien?

  That's a fair question.

• 43:56Speaker 02

  I had until now, but you know what? She is a very good improviser.

• 43:59Conan O'Brien?

  You know what I mean?

• 44:00Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:00Conan O'Brien?

  What was she gonna do? You put out a scene.

• 44:02Speaker 02

  Say no.

• 44:03Conan O'Brien?

  You laid it out there.

• 44:04Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 44:05Conan O'Brien?

  Will you? And she has to say yes and we'll have a child.

• 44:08Speaker 01

  She's trained to not say no.

• 44:10Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'm saying that's the best, that's what I.

• 44:12Speaker 02

  I married an improviser too, and this is making me really look back. Usual suspect.

• 44:16Conan O'Brien?

  And it was, and it was, and guess what? It was during a sketch, wasn't it?

• 44:19Speaker 02

  It was, yeah.

• 44:20Conan O'Brien?

  And then you afterwards were crying, you said, you said yes. You have to.

• 44:25Speaker 02

  Oh no. Oh god.

• 44:27Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you know, didn't you, you guys, uh, had your first, your, your only child? His only child?

• 44:33Speaker 02

  Yeah, only.

• 44:34Conan O'Brien?

  Your only child during the making of Hacks?

• 44:36Speaker 02

  Yeah, well, you know, funny, funnily enough, we weren't, we were not planning to get married. We were like, oh, well, we'll just won't get married and, you know, we don't need to do that. And then there was a point in time when I was like, well, I wanna, I wanna get her a ring. And I'll, and I'll, and I'll float it, I'll float it. Thinking that she'd be like, we've talked about this.

• 44:54Conan O'Brien?

  I'll pitch it.

• 44:55Speaker 02

  We've talked about this, we're not gonna get married.

• 44:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 44:56Speaker 02

  Um, and she said yes, and, cause we had been together at that point for 15 years. So we had been together for a really long time. And, but we weren't gonna have children. And so we did end up getting married. We thought it'd be a nice way to celebrate our time together with our friends.

• 45:09Conan O'Brien?

  It's all improv, yes and yes.

• 45:10Speaker 02

  No kidding. Well, that sperm and the egg were like. That's right. They were doing their own scene.

• 45:16Conan O'Brien?

  An improv class with sperm and egg.

• 45:17Speaker 02

  They were, they were, yeah. It was their own scene and they. Yeah. It worked. They crushed it.

• 45:24Conan O'Brien?

  I love that idea. And scene, sperm, you work at a gym, egg. This is your first time at the gym and go, you're pregnant.

• 45:36Speaker 02

  Actually, no, it's crazy. We didn't find out, we, we had been traveling and she had missed one of her periods. And basically we found out when she was two and a half months pregnant. So the next day, we saw a heartbeat. And that was two weeks before our wedding.

• 45:48Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god.

• 45:49Speaker 02

  So we got married, came home, started season, that was season two. We were, we were shooting season two. And then he came, he came early. Again, this is like.

• 45:59Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 46:00Speaker 02

  Again, sperm and egg doing their own thing.

• 46:02Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 46:02Speaker 02

  He came early on his own time and it was while we were shooting. And so she did direct between contractions because she was directing that day. I know. I know, which is mentally unwell. I mean, it's really, it's badass and so cool.

• 46:14Speaker 01

  It's pretty badass, yeah.

• 46:14Speaker 02

  But it's also.

• 46:16Conan O'Brien?

  She's earned the right to be called Lucia.

• 46:17Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh good.

• 46:19Speaker 01

  Now she's been, she's earned it.

• 46:23Conan O'Brien?

  I'm sorry, Lucia, you're gone now. It's Lucia now, rest in peace. That's unbelievable.

• 46:29Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 46:29Conan O'Brien?

  That's unbelievable.

• 46:30Speaker 02

  So it was a crazy year. It was a really, really crazy year.

• 46:32Conan O'Brien?

  What's cool, too, is that as you go on through your career, you have this document, the actual show, where, I mean, in a weird way, I don't think about this much, but I have it too, because I met my wife on a remote shoot. We went to an advertising agency, and people look it up online all the time.

• 46:50Speaker 02

  Oh, wow.

• 46:50Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm there, just doing the Conan thing where I'm on a remote, being an ass, and then I just start talking to this one woman in the room. Within seconds, I'm not even trying to be funny. We're just talking about, huh? Yeah, no, my dad, right. And so, okay.

• 47:04Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 47:04Conan O'Brien?

  And you like cats? That's funny, you know, well, I've even thought, I had a cat when I was a kid. And my producer was listening on headphones outside the office where we were doing all this, this remote. He's like, what the fuck is he doing? So we have us meeting.

• 47:20Speaker 02

  Wow, that's really cool.

• 47:21Conan O'Brien?

  Then we have the episode where I'm just back from the hospital because my daughter was born.

• 47:27Speaker 02

  That's really cool.

• 47:28Conan O'Brien?

  And I'm talking about it on the air. Then we have the episode where I'm just back from the hospital because my son was born. I mean, I haven't really thought about it that much till this moment now, but those are weird documents. I remember bringing my son when he was little and, no, I brought my daughter to work right after she was born. Um, not right after, but, you know.

• 47:46Speaker 02

  We wiped her down.

• 47:46Conan O'Brien?

  The doctor said, yeah. She was still, umbilical cord was stretched over Ninth Avenue.

• 47:54Conan O'Brien?

  Cabs weren't hitting it. It plays a low E-note.

• 48:01Conan O'Brien?

  But anyway, she's, I brought my daughter in when she was old enough to come in and was sitting at the, and I saw Tina Fey recently, and we reminisced about this because I said, Tina, I will never forget, Tina was up in 8H rehearsing Saturday Night Live, and I'm down on 6 on the late night set, and I'm sitting and I'm holding my daughter, and one of the cameramen zoomed in on my daughter. Suddenly, double doors fly open, and Tina comes running in, and she was like, give me that thing. This is before she had her own daughter, but she was like. You could see that she had baby fever. And she was like, give me that, oh my god. And she, I almost didn't get Nev back. And then it wasn't long afterwards that she had her own daughter.

• 48:44Conan O'Brien?

  But it was, I have all these memories that are, my show work is intertwined with, you know, my fam, meeting my wife, falling in love, getting married, children. It's all becomes a piece.

• 48:59Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 48:59Conan O'Brien?

  And that's gonna be part of all the work that you do going forward, even after Hex. It'll all be entwined.

• 49:06Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know, we think about that a lot. We actually, you know, we talk about the show like our first child in a way. Because it is like, it is like raising a child in a way. And then he came and now has a sibling, you know, and he visits set sometimes. And there's so much, now they're, now we have a lot of-

• 49:22Conan O'Brien?

  And they fight.

• 49:23Speaker 02

  And they do fight, yeah. Well, he really wants to, he just really wants to go to crafty. That's all he cares about.

• 49:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 49:28Speaker 02

  But, but now we have a lot of footage of, because Gene is also, Gene is similar to Tina. Gene really wants Luca whenever he's on set. And they have a great relationship and she threw my wife's baby shower. And so, yeah, we have all these photos and videos of him on set with Gene and, you know, sitting at Deborah Vance's desk as like an infant. And it is really cool that we'll have that.

• 49:49Conan O'Brien?

  That's great.

• 49:50Speaker 02

  Forever, yeah.

• 49:51Conan O'Brien?

  That's, uh, well, I'm, you know, I, I mean, it's funny because after a while, I always think back to the I Love Lucy show where Lucy goes to the club to tell Ricky that she's pregnant. And, and it's, it's just fascinating to me because that was a show business relationship in real life, but also they were doing a show about that.

• 50:15Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:15Conan O'Brien?

  And then you saw all the ways in which it was intertwined.

• 50:18Speaker 02

  Yeah. And you know, we go by Polly Lou, that's our moniker, which is a nod to Desilou. We don't have a show about our life, but we have a show that is our life.

• 50:29Conan O'Brien?

  You play the bongos.

• 50:30Speaker 02

  That's, I wish, I wish. Jimmy could pick up the bongos, that would actually be good.

• 50:36Speaker 02

  He, he starts smoking a lot of weed and does the bongos, because Kayla just drives him off the deep end. That might be actually a good, we need something new, we need something new.

• 50:43Conan O'Brien?

  I can help you with that. I'll be on set to pitch. I also want to give a personal shout out to an old fellow performer. One of the first things I ever did onstage was a show called Happy Happy Good Show. In, I did it with Robert Smigel and Bob Odenkirk in Chicago in 1988 during a writer's strike at it. And so we were at SNL and we went to Chicago and put up this very weird sketch show. And I, there I met Rose Abdu.

• 51:10Speaker 02

  Oh my gosh.

• 51:11Conan O'Brien?

  And Rose Abdu was hilarious and great. And I'm just so delighted that she's on the show.

• 51:19Speaker 02

  She is so funny.

• 51:20Conan O'Brien?

  She's always note perfect.

• 51:22Speaker 02

  She is perfect. And I tell you what, we, you know, we've now, whether it's at South by or at screenings at the Pally Fest, we've, we've shown now a bunch of episodes to a live audience. She kills. She always knocks it out of the park. It's crazy.

• 51:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 51:35Speaker 02

  You know, she comes on for one pop and always knocks it out of the park.

• 51:38Conan O'Brien?

  She is a trooper. She's like a vaudevillean trooper.

• 51:40Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 51:40Conan O'Brien?

  And, but I've looked at, not long ago, I found a program from Happy Happy Good Show. I think I'm 25. I'm 6'4". I think I'm 155 pounds.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  Wow.

• 51:53Conan O'Brien?

  And there's a sketch from, where I'm supposed to be. Yeah, exactly.

• 51:57Speaker 02

  Damn. The cinder blocks.

• 51:59Conan O'Brien?

  Jock or weather vane. You be the choice.

• 52:03Speaker 02

  Pole vaulter.

• 52:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. No, the pole. The actual pole.

• 52:08Conan O'Brien?

  And I think it's a sketch where I'm, where, yeah, it's a sketch where all of us are supposed to be naked, but we're, I'm holding a guitar and you can see my, my body. And it's a freak show. Not that it isn't now, but oh my God. But Rose is in the picture and all of us are just really hopeful, like, we'll get there somehow. It's just, it's sweet. It's a really sweet memory for me.

• 52:30Speaker 02

  Yeah. She's been doing it for a long time and she is so good. I'm really glad that she's a part of the family. And she named the character. It was, it was a different name. And we said, she said, I'm going to base this on my, my aunt and my mom. And we said, okay, do you want to choose the name? And she said, Josefina. It was great. She, she was like, I have it ready. Yeah.

• 52:45Conan O'Brien?

  Then she renamed your wife.

• 52:46Speaker 02

  Yeah, exactly.

• 52:48Conan O'Brien?

  And you are Lucia.

• 52:50Speaker 02

  No, it's Lucia. Luciana.

• 52:52Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, Luciana. Um, I, uh, am I the only one who've noticed that you have the most amazing eyes?

• 52:59Speaker 02

  Oh, come on.

• 52:59Conan O'Brien?

  And I have, I've seen it on TV, but in person, uh, I think I've fallen in love with Paul.

• 53:05Speaker 02

  Oh, my gosh.

• 53:06Conan O'Brien?

  Deep, very deeply in love with you, uh, because I'm just.

• 53:09Speaker 02

  Right back at you.

• 53:10Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 53:11Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, I have creepy killer eyes.

• 53:13Speaker 02

  No.

• 53:13Conan O'Brien?

  Look, beady, looking around.

• 53:15Speaker 02

  Oh, my gosh.

• 53:15Conan O'Brien?

  Look at that.

• 53:16Speaker 01

  Don't do that.

• 53:17Conan O'Brien?

  Right?

• 53:18Speaker 01

  If you do that, yeah, but you do have really nice.

• 53:20Speaker 03

  You have beautiful eyes. Where the eyes move.

• 53:22Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I think one of us has to call your wife. I am, uh, very happy for you.

• 53:28Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 53:28Conan O'Brien?

  Massive congratulations, uh, if you ever want me to pay, play a, a parking lot attendant on your show.

• 53:34Speaker 02

  We need you on the show.

• 53:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 53:35Speaker 02

  I'm not kidding, we really.

• 53:36Conan O'Brien?

  Whatever, whatever you guys want me to do.

• 53:37Speaker 01

  Parking lot, you, you exist in that universe.

• 53:40Conan O'Brien?

  No, he's, I'm dead now.

• 53:41Speaker 02

  No, you're not.

• 53:42Conan O'Brien?

  No, you've been demoted to parking lot attendant.

• 53:45Speaker 01

  If you don't have a late night show, you're dead.

• 53:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, exactly.

• 53:47Speaker 02

  I think that was his.

• 53:48Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah, it, it's all good. I'll do whatever you guys want me to do. It doesn't matter. And I have no ego about it. I'll do craft services on this show.

• 53:55Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 53:56Conan O'Brien?

  But I'm a big.

• 53:56Speaker 02

  My son would love you.

• 53:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, seriously.

• 53:58Speaker 02

  Just give him some pirate's booty.

• 53:59Conan O'Brien?

  All chocolate pirate booty. Um, but, uh, anything to help get an oar in the water, like this show needs any help. I think you've won, it's insane. I can't even get into how many Emmys you've won, Peabody, uh, but all well deserved and.

• 54:14Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 54:14Conan O'Brien?

  Makes me happy, always does, when these youngsters out there, and you are youngsters, are doing really good, uh, fantastic work and killing it. Makes me, by association, proud.

• 54:28Speaker 02

  Well, I, I, I hope you, I'm glad you feel that way because we admire you and your work so much. And you know, Jen, Michael Crider, interned for you and has amazing stories about that. Covered, covered your assistant's desk and was very nervous.

• 54:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 54:41Speaker 02

  And said that you were not only funny, but kind and, um.

• 54:45Speaker 01

  What?

• 54:45Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 54:47Conan O'Brien?

  Cuts on his mic.

• 54:48Speaker 02

  Depends on who, uh, she's a very good assistant, I think.

• 54:51Speaker 01

  Oh, wow.

• 54:52Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, she knows how to play it.

• 54:54Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 54:54Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, he was very kind. Suddenly, uh, Bugatti shows up outside her door with a bow on it. Thanks for playing along, Conan. Anyway, Hacks, it is season four now.

• 55:09Speaker 02

  We're in season four, yeah.

• 55:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you're in season four, and I'm five shows through and loving it.

• 55:15Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 55:15Conan O'Brien?

  And keep doing what you're doing.

• 55:19Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 55:19Conan O'Brien?

  Please, I know you were thinking of stopping.

• 55:22Speaker 02

  Yeah, I almost retired last year.

• 55:24Conan O'Brien?

  I'm encouraging you to continue.

• 55:25Speaker 02

  And then I said, I'll keep going.

• 55:26Conan O'Brien?

  No, it was this podcast.

• 55:27Speaker 02

  Yeah, actually.

• 55:28Conan O'Brien?

  You walked in, you're all like, I think we're gonna stop now.

• 55:31Speaker 02

  Oh my god. Well, now I can retire, you know? I mean, this is, I actually, you know, I always wanted to be on your show.

• 55:39Conan O'Brien?

  Oh.

• 55:39Speaker 02

  And, oh, it was a dream. And, so, this is a dream. But, you know, I saw you once, and I said to my wife, I'm gonna go up and introduce myself, and just tell them that I'm a fan. Everyone likes to hear that they have fans. And she was like, so, you can, you can edit this out if you want. If you want to keep privacy and anonymity.

• 55:57Conan O'Brien?

  All right.

• 55:57Speaker 02

  But it was at the Hotel du Cap.

• 55:59Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 56:00Speaker 02

  Okay, so I'm at the Hotel du Cap, and I'm like...

• 56:02Conan O'Brien?

  I was there on a junket. I got sent there.

• 56:04Speaker 02

  But they love you there. You're on the wall.

• 56:06Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, really?

• 56:07Speaker 02

  They have a signature of yours on the wall, in the bar.

• 56:09Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I, the Hotel du Cap is not a hotel that I would book myself.

• 56:13Speaker 02

  Okay.

• 56:13Conan O'Brien?

  I was sent there because I'm not the kind of person... Look, I like a nice hotel. Hotel? I like a nice hotel.

• 56:20Speaker 03

  Where is this hotel?

• 56:21Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, it's in Eden Rock, in, on the, France.

• 56:25Speaker 02

  Like, near Cannes, yeah.

• 56:26Conan O'Brien?

  Near Cannes. And, and I got sent there. They said, do you want to go and do this panel there? And we'll fly you and your wife. And this is a legendary hotel.

• 56:35Speaker 02

  It's insane.

• 56:36Conan O'Brien?

  And I get there, and they're throwing some big shindig, and I do my thing. And I'll never forget seeing Bon Jovi.

• 56:43Speaker 02

  Oh, Bon Jovi.

• 56:45Conan O'Brien?

  We'll get to you. Seeing Bon Jovi, and, and Bon Jovi, and I was like, oh, hey, man, what are you doing here? And he went, they flew me in just to sing, you know, like a cab on a steel horse.

• 56:58Conan O'Brien?

  And I said, George G. is singing one song? And he's like, like, that's it? And they're covering everything? And I thought, show business, I haven't experienced this a lot. This is fantastic. But anyway, so did we encounter each other?

• 57:09Speaker 02

  So, no, because I, so we were actually... We weren't even staying in the main hotel. They have like a little annex. That's less money. And so, and because I wasn't flown, I paid for it. And but we were on a budget. So at dinner, I said to Lucia, I'm gonna take all of the baguette in the basket. And I put baguettes in my pocket.

• 57:28Conan O'Brien?

  I love this.

• 57:29Speaker 02

  And so we get back to the hotel. We had had some French wine and I said, oh, my God, there's Conan. I have to go say hello. And she said, babe, you have baguettes in your pocket.

• 57:39Speaker 02

  Your pockets are stuffed with baguettes.

• 57:41Conan O'Brien?

  You would have loved that.

• 57:42Speaker 02

  You're gonna look like Jean Valjean. You look like he's stolen food. Just wait till maybe you meet him. You meet him properly one day.

• 57:50Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 57:50Speaker 02

  I know.

• 57:51Conan O'Brien?

  I wanna say.

• 57:51Speaker 02

  No, he's got baguettes in his pockets still. Well, honestly, I would. I love bread.

• 57:56Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, me too. First of all, she was wrong.

• 57:59Speaker 02

  Okay, she's Lucia again.

• 58:01Conan O'Brien?

  Back to, promoted to Lucia. Lucia. No, are you kidding? I would have loved that.

• 58:06Speaker 02

  I should have done it.

• 58:07Conan O'Brien?

  I would have loved that. And as I think you will attest, you would have said, oh, I don't wanna bother Conan O'Brien. You would have come up to me. We would have started chatting. I would have asked you some questions. And then, within 10 minutes, you'd be saying, I think I have to go. That is the usual experience.

• 58:22Speaker 02

  I should have done it then. That would have been huge for me.

• 58:24Conan O'Brien?

  And I would have been like, oh, now I've got bread in my pockets too. Let's do a bit. Hey, let's meet tomorrow and I'll have bread in my pockets. Be like, I don't think Conan is.

• 58:30Speaker 02

  What, Ruby?

• 58:30Conan O'Brien?

  He's getting a neediness here.

• 58:32Speaker 02

  Oh, that was good.

• 58:33Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 58:33Speaker 02

  Needy.

• 58:34Conan O'Brien?

  Needy, yeah.

• 58:35Speaker 02

  That was very good. That was very good.

• 58:36Conan O'Brien?

  Very neat. Very good. Paul, thank you so much for making the time.

• 58:39Speaker 02

  Thank you for having me.

• 58:40Conan O'Brien?

  Congrats on everything and I'm real happy for you.

• 58:42Speaker 02

  Thanks so much.

• 58:50Conan O'Brien?

  Your name represents everything you've built, okay? Everything. Like, I feel that way about my name. Yeah. It stands for all of the work, good and not so good in my life. But guess what? Your children's names represent their whole futures. Yeah. Your children haven't even started building their futures, but their identities are already valuable. Your child's clean credit history can make them a target for identity thieves. Never thought of it that way, but it's true. Identity thieves can open loans and credit cards using your child's social security number, racking up debt and ruining their credit, and you may. may not notice until they try and get their first credit cards. It could be a long time.

• 59:25Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 59:26Conan O'Brien?

  Well, guess what? With LifeLock, you can add family members to your plan, giving you the power to block identity threats targeting your children. Now, Sony, your kids are pretty young still.

• 59:34Speaker 01

  They are.

• 59:35Conan O'Brien?

  Five, but within a couple of years, you know, they're going to be buying heavy machinery online.

• 59:41Speaker 01

  What?

• 59:41Conan O'Brien?

  They're going to be become tractor fanatics. They're going to be buying tractors online. So if you have expenses or money stolen due to identity theft, you're backed by the million dollar protection package with up to $3 million coverage in some plans. So join now, save up to 30% off your first year. Go to lifelock.com/conan. That's lifelock.com/conan to save 30%. Terms apply.

• 1:00:07Conan O'Brien?

  You know what's the worst? When you can't find what you need to do your job. I hate that.

• 1:00:11Speaker 01

  Yeah, like a pencil.

• 1:00:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, no, I was thinking more competent people around me.

• 1:00:22Conan O'Brien?

  But yeah, sure, pencil. Let's go with pencil. Maybe you can relate. It's like your business is stuck in the dark ages with data scattered all over and you have to send men in tights out to find it. Well, noble business people, EverPure, lets you see and manage all your data from one simple place, no matter where it lives, so you can do your job. Right?

• 1:00:44Speaker 01

  Why'd you get an accent?

• 1:00:45Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know, I was a little bit of a character. You can do your job.

• 1:00:50Conan O'Brien?

  Get out of the data dark ages at everpuredata.com.

• 1:00:56Conan O'Brien?

  The holidays are supposed to be about making memories, not managing the mess that comes with them. Between winter weather, road trips, shopping and family gatherings, your vehicle can take a beating. Mine sure does.

• 1:01:07Speaker 01

  Same.

• 1:01:08Conan O'Brien?

  Especially when I'm back in the Northeast, driving around. I mean, I grew up with that.

• 1:01:12Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:12Conan O'Brien?

  Cars were red, the salt on the road, people throwing rocks at me.

• 1:01:16Speaker 01

  What?

• 1:01:17Conan O'Brien?

  That's not a weather thing. That's more of a me being, making people angry. Problem. WeatherTech helps protect your vehicle from snow, slush, salt and seasonal messes. They also make the best gifts for automobile protection, from floor liners and cargo liner to side window deflectors. Even gift cards. Great for today and to prevent future messes. Everything is built to last, easy to clean, and designed for harsh winter conditions. Okay? I grew up with this.

• 1:01:43Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:01:43Conan O'Brien?

  And the salt would eat away the car. We actually did have a Chevy. My dad had a Chevy Impala, and the floor rusted out, and you could see the road going by.

• 1:01:50Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:01:51Conan O'Brien?

  Boy, we were praying for WeatherTech, and we didn't even know it. That was before it existed.

• 1:01:56Speaker 01

  That's cool.

• 1:01:57Conan O'Brien?

  So get a gift today at weatherTech.com.

• 1:02:06Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then, we stumble upon a revelation that really rocks our world. And just the other day, we found out that Sona, you were a Girl Scout.

• 1:02:16Speaker 01

  Yes, I was.

• 1:02:17Conan O'Brien?

  I just don't see it.

• 1:02:18Speaker 01

  What do you mean?

• 1:02:19Conan O'Brien?

  Do you? It's kind of shocking.

• 1:02:20Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is a little shocking.

• 1:02:22Conan O'Brien?

  You're a rule breaker.

• 1:02:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 1:02:23Conan O'Brien?

  You're a rebel, you know? You're the pinky Tuskegee arrow.

• 1:02:26Speaker 01

  I still remember my pledge. I live by my pledge. And I think that I, um, I think that I-

• 1:02:32Conan O'Brien?

  What's the pledge?

• 1:02:33Speaker 01

  On my honor, I will try to serve God. I've already lost it.

• 1:02:37Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:02:38Speaker 03

  So far, you're batting a thousand.

• 1:02:40Speaker 01

  And my country, to help people at all times.

• 1:02:43Speaker 01

  And to live by the Girl Scout law.

• 1:02:46Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 1:02:46Speaker 01

  And yeah, I do that. I always do that. So you're welcome.

• 1:02:50Conan O'Brien?

  Do you think that you upheld the Girl Scout code when you were my full-time assistant?

• 1:02:55Speaker 01

  I helped people at all times.

• 1:02:59Conan O'Brien?

  But what about me?

• 1:03:01Speaker 01

  Um, I helped people at all times, and I lived by the Girl Scout law. So, you know, I did my best with you.

• 1:03:07Conan O'Brien?

  You do very well in a Senate confirmation meeting.

• 1:03:10Speaker 03

  I know, it does sound like that.

• 1:03:11Conan O'Brien?

  You are, the Senate votes unanimously that you are the new Secretary of the Interior.

• 1:03:16Speaker 01

  I do not recall. So that's what I'm gonna say. Did I always help you? I do not recall.

• 1:03:21Conan O'Brien?

  How did you get into the Girl Scouts? Whose idea was it? Was this something that your, your parents came up with? Or is it something you wanted to do?

• 1:03:28Speaker 01

  I think my, my, my parents. I think they wanted to get us into American stuff. And so they signed me up as a Girl Scout when I was really young. I was a Daisy. And then I became a Brownie. I think that, no, I was a Brownie, then I became a Junior. And so-

• 1:03:42Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know what the, what the ranks are.

• 1:03:43Speaker 01

  Um, it starts off at Daisy.

• 1:03:46Conan O'Brien?

  I thought Brownie was the beginning. Daisy was like-

• 1:03:48Speaker 01

  Daisy's the baby, Brownie, and then Junior, and then it goes up, but I stopped after Junior.

• 1:03:52Conan O'Brien?

  And then it's Reichfeuer.

• 1:03:55Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 1:03:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that's when you get a long leather coat and a riding crop.

• 1:03:59Speaker 01

  It was fun, though. I had a lot of fun.

• 1:04:01Conan O'Brien?

  A Mercedes. Um, well, we are joined by someone else on staff who we also...

• 1:04:06Speaker 02

  Can I share a photo and then it'll...

• 1:04:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, okay. Very good. Eduardo has a... Oh!

• 1:04:12Speaker 01

  Oh, my God!

• 1:04:14Conan O'Brien?

  Look at that! Sona!

• 1:04:17Speaker 02

  So serious.

• 1:04:18Speaker 01

  I don't know why I'm holding the flowers like that.

• 1:04:20Conan O'Brien?

  Sona, you look kind of like nonplussed about it all.

• 1:04:25Speaker 03

  It does look like you're curling the flowers.

• 1:04:28Speaker 01

  It does.

• 1:04:29Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I just... This is incredible. Look at you!

• 1:04:32Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:04:33Speaker 03

  You're like a flower bearer at a funeral or something.

• 1:04:37Conan O'Brien?

  But also, look at... What do those markings indicate? Are those different awards that you won?

• 1:04:43Speaker 01

  Yeah, those are my badges. That's what it's all for.

• 1:04:46Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but what were the badges? Do you remember what your badges were for?

• 1:04:49Speaker 01

  I have no idea. I think it was like, I mean, it was the 80s and 90s.

• 1:04:53Conan O'Brien?

  Not for flower-holding.

• 1:04:54Speaker 01

  It was like, oh, I made applesauce. Oh, look at me, I made a pie. Oh, look, I learned how to sew. And camping and stuff, yeah.

• 1:05:03Speaker 02

  I bet Sona was really good at selling cookies, though.

• 1:05:06Speaker 01

  Oh, my God! You just tapped into a thing. We would go in for the Albertsons and it was me and this troop leader's daughter and we would battle it out to see who would sell more. And sometimes we were so aggressive, we scared away customers.

• 1:05:19Conan O'Brien?

  And you were just... And here's the thing, you were a liberal girl who scared away adults and you were holding cookies.

• 1:05:27Speaker 01

  Wearing a brownie uniform.

• 1:05:28Conan O'Brien?

  Look at that monster. Look at that monster.

• 1:05:32Speaker 03

  Oh, my God!

• 1:05:33Speaker 02

  Always be closing.

• 1:05:35Speaker 01

  It's an assassin.

• 1:05:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, you were a...

• 1:05:37Speaker 01

  Just an assassin.

• 1:05:38Conan O'Brien?

  You were a David Mamet play. Desperate. He's a Glenn... I want the Glenn Gary leads!

• 1:05:47Conan O'Brien?

  I can't sell these Milano's.

• 1:05:49Speaker 03

  I want the Samoa leads.

• 1:05:50Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, the Samoa leads. These Milano's I ain't selling.

• 1:05:53Speaker 01

  Milano's are not Girl Scout cookies, and you should know that.

• 1:05:56Conan O'Brien?

  I don't know.

• 1:05:57Speaker 01

  How dare you?

• 1:05:57Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, by the way, no one's bought more Girl Scout cookies than I have.

• 1:06:01Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:06:01Conan O'Brien?

  Because we have some moms here.

• 1:06:04Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:06:05Conan O'Brien?

  That work here, that have daughters, and all I do is buy Girl Scout cookies. Buy the bucket load.

• 1:06:11Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:06:11Conan O'Brien?

  And I take none of them home. I don't eat them, so, um...

• 1:06:14Speaker 01

  Well, you should know Milano's are not Girl Scout cookies.

• 1:06:16Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, tell me what the cookies are.

• 1:06:17Speaker 01

  There's Thin Mints, there's Samoa's, there's the... That's pretty much... Oh, the Tagalongs are really good. Um, the shortbread.

• 1:06:25Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 1:06:26Speaker 01

  There's the lemon ones.

• 1:06:28Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, it sounds like... And what was your spiel when you were trying to sell?

• 1:06:30Speaker 01

  Would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?

• 1:06:32Conan O'Brien?

  I bet your spiel was more like, "You're gonna buy some fucking cookies." Or you're gonna have a flat tire when you're done buying grapes.

• 1:06:39Speaker 03

  And you're gonna have protection from here on out. You understand?

• 1:06:41Conan O'Brien?

  You understand?

• 1:06:42Speaker 01

  Smoking a cigarette outside the Albin.

• 1:06:44Speaker 03

  You just wore a tracksuit. Tracksuit with badges on it.

• 1:06:47Conan O'Brien?

  Tracksuit, badges, you're smoking a bubblegum cigarette. Look here, see?

• 1:06:53Speaker 03

  Why are you carrying a tire iron, Girl Scout?

• 1:06:56Conan O'Brien?

  You like having knees? Must be nice. Look, you buy some Tagalongs and I won't be tagging along, if you know what I mean.

• 1:07:06Conan O'Brien?

  Hey, I'm also gonna slay some Milano's. They're not street cred.

• 1:07:12Conan O'Brien?

  These fell off a truck. Yeah, I don't think those are Girl Scout cookies. I said they fell off a truck!

• 1:07:21Conan O'Brien?

  Now, David, um, you... It has also revealed, when you saw this picture of Sona, you said, "Wait a minute, I must add something to this."

• 1:07:29Speaker 02

  I was a scout.

• 1:07:29Conan O'Brien?

  You were a scout.

• 1:07:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:30Speaker 03

  You were not only a scout, though. You were an Eagle Scout.

• 1:07:32Speaker 02

  I'm an Eagle Scout.

• 1:07:33Speaker 01

  He went the distance.

• 1:07:34Speaker 02

  That's as high as you can go.

• 1:07:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:07:36Speaker 02

  Yeah. You're lucky to have us.

• 1:07:38Speaker 01

  Yeah, I know.

• 1:07:39Conan O'Brien?

  So, so wow, both my assistants have risen in the ranks of one of the most prestigious, uh, blah blah blahs. Oh, look at it!

• 1:07:48Speaker 03

  That's so adorable.

• 1:07:49Speaker 02

  I think I'm, I think that that's me holding a participation trophy.

• 1:07:53Speaker 03

  No, you got a slot car. You did a slot car race.

• 1:07:55Speaker 02

  That was my Pinewood Derby car that I like built.

• 1:07:58Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, look at David.

• 1:08:00Speaker 02

  And that's my participation trophy.

• 1:08:02Speaker 01

  He got a participation trophy.

• 1:08:04Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, what does, what does a participation trophy look like? I mean...

• 1:08:09Speaker 02

  It's just smaller than the other trophies.

• 1:08:11Conan O'Brien?

  But I would, is it a figure kind of shrugging?

• 1:08:13Speaker 03

  It's a car. It's a little car.

• 1:08:15Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, it's a little, it's not even a car. It's just a blob.

• 1:08:18Speaker 02

  That was a big day.

• 1:08:19Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I can tell.

• 1:08:21Speaker 03

  You've, you've never been able to live up to that day.

• 1:08:24Speaker 02

  And then you put your car up and it's over in like a second.

• 1:08:26Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 1:08:27Conan O'Brien?

  Um, David, you look no different.

• 1:08:32Conan O'Brien?

  Sona looks like, Sona has grown into an adult person. You look like, look at David and look at this little boy.

• 1:08:42Speaker 02

  I need to get the round glasses again?

• 1:08:44Speaker 03

  I know, you should.

• 1:08:45Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my god, David, that's, that's a very cute photograph. Now, you, what kind of badges did you get? I mean, if you went that high.

• 1:08:54Speaker 02

  All of them.

• 1:08:54Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, it sounds like Sona just had a couple of bullshit badges. No, seriously, like, you didn't stick around that long.

• 1:09:00Speaker 01

  You didn't have any badges. We, if we're in nature with the two of us, you, we could...

• 1:09:05Speaker 02

  Yeah, we could start a fire.

• 1:09:07Speaker 01

  We could do that, I think.

• 1:09:08Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:08Conan O'Brien?

  Wait, could you start a fire, do you think, using just two sticks?

• 1:09:11Speaker 01

  No, I could with a, a lighter.

• 1:09:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:13Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, wow, that's what they teach when they scouts now? With this, you need to go into the woods and all you have is an acetylene torch.

• 1:09:20Speaker 03

  No, Sona got her fire badge.

• 1:09:21Conan O'Brien?

  And seventeen pounds of beef.

• 1:09:23Speaker 03

  Sona got her fire badge from just leaving a curling iron on.

• 1:09:28Conan O'Brien?

  So what about you, David?

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  Uh, I mean, imagine like the camping one, the, the climbing one was awful because I had to rappel from like a thirty foot tower and I was terrified. Um, but we didn't sell cookies. We sold Christmas trees.

• 1:09:42Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, that's nice. Wow, that's big. Wait, you, did they come to a certain lot or did you have to haul a tree around?

• 1:09:48Speaker 02

  They would come to a lot and then the Boy Scouts, we would just sit there and sell to everyone in Carlinville.

• 1:09:54Conan O'Brien?

  And this is Carlinville, Illinois. Shout out to Carlinville.

• 1:09:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:09:57Conan O'Brien?

  And David has told me many stories about Carlinville.

• 1:10:00Speaker 02

  You're basically a local at this point.

• 1:10:01Conan O'Brien?

  No, I, I, I know all about Carlinville. I have gone on the local websites.

• 1:10:06Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:10:07Conan O'Brien?

  You've had, you've shown me where you used to hang out, the one of the two places where you could hang out in Carlinville. Hey, Carlinville, Conan O'Brien here. I would love to visit Carlinville someday.

• 1:10:16Speaker 02

  Hey.

• 1:10:16Conan O'Brien?

  And I think I deserve a parade.

• 1:10:18Speaker 02

  There'll be a parade.

• 1:10:21Conan O'Brien?

  No, David doesn't get a parade.

• 1:10:23Speaker 02

  Do they both get to be on the float?

• 1:10:24Conan O'Brien?

  No.

• 1:10:25Speaker 02

  No, he's a local boy made good.

• 1:10:26Conan O'Brien?

  David drives the float.

• 1:10:30Speaker 02

  I'll still wait.

• 1:10:31Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And our float will come in second.

• 1:10:34Speaker 02

  What is our float gonna be, what it'll look like?

• 1:10:36Conan O'Brien?

  It's gonna be the participation float.

• 1:10:40Speaker 02

  I love that there's a float competition for Conan to visit.

• 1:10:43Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. And because you're driving, we get the participation.

• 1:10:49Speaker 02

  So I'm gonna win somehow?

• 1:10:50Speaker 01

  I know.

• 1:10:52Conan O'Brien?

  I am, I will say this, I trust you both with my life, and that is a, uh, that, that speaks well of the Boy and Girl Scouts.

• 1:10:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 1:11:00Conan O'Brien?

  Because I think you're both exemplary people. I don't say that you have great skills.

• 1:11:06Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 1:11:06Conan O'Brien?

  And I wouldn't go turn to you if I was lost in the woods, but you're both very good people. They gave you a good moral code.

• 1:11:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, we'll take it.

• 1:11:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:11:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. Thanks.

• 1:11:16Conan O'Brien?

  So shout out to the Scouts.

• 1:11:17Speaker 01

  Oh, we took the oath.

• 1:11:18Conan O'Brien?

  And hey, Scouts, get a Milano.

• 1:11:21Conan O'Brien?

  There's no reason why you just can't start putting Milano's in there. And no, it's not a trademark name. And no, I haven't looked into it. Just do it. But anyway, uh, and, and, uh, Carlinville, we'll be seeing you soon.

• 1:11:36Speaker 02

  We're gonna be in the paper.

• 1:11:37Speaker 03

  You just sexually harassed a city.

• 1:11:41Conan O'Brien?

  These pictures can be viewed at Team Coco Podcasts on Instagram.

• 1:11:47Speaker 03

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sona of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:12:07Speaker 03

  Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:12:57Conan O'Brien?

  Technology can generate salary recommendations in seconds, but building an offer that lands skilled talent? That takes more than just an estimate you came up with.

• 1:13:06Speaker 01

  Yeah, you're right.

• 1:13:07Conan O'Brien?

  That's where Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide can help.

• 1:13:11Speaker 01

  That's good.

• 1:13:11Conan O'Brien?

  Did we use a salary guide with you, Sona?

• 1:13:13Speaker 01

  Uh, no, but maybe-

• 1:13:14Conan O'Brien?

  For several years, I just gave you groceries, remember?

• 1:13:17Speaker 01

  I know, yeah, I remember that. That was not good.

• 1:13:19Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, well, anyway, now you got Robert Half's new 2027 Salary Guide. As a staffing firm placing talent every day, Robert Half combines compensation data with the experience of local recruiters. You can hire with the confidence that comes from experience. The new Robert Half Salary Guide is here. Visit roberthalf.com/salaryguide.

• 1:13:40Speaker 03

  Hey, it's me, Teddy Swims. You hear that? That's life. So go grab it. Grab your old friends, grab new friends, grab a white claw. Grab flavor for everyone in your group. Grab music, laughter, and moments you'll never forget. You'll never regret it. Oh, hey, man. Grab new friends, grab old friends, grab life. By the claw, White Claw. Please drink responsibly. White Claw Celtic Works, Chicago, Illinois.