Ryan Reynolds

Actor Ryan Reynolds feels philodendrous about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. Ryan sits down with Conan to discuss complex father-son relationships, playing within the cultural landscape as Deadpool, the unsung heroes of collaborative productions, and more. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:03Conan O'Brien?

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• 0:46Speaker 01

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• 1:19Speaker 02

  Hi. My name is Ryan Reynolds.

• 1:25Speaker 02

  And I feel philodendrous.

• 1:30Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God.

• 1:30Speaker 02

  About being Conan O'Brien's friend. A little Who's Harry Crumb reference there for you.

• 1:35Conan O'Brien?

  Philodendrous, look it up. Look it up!

• 1:38Speaker 02

  I believe he says philodendron, but that didn't work.

• 1:40Conan O'Brien?

  So you changed it to philodendrous?

• 1:42Speaker 02

  Correct.

• 1:43Conan O'Brien?

  You know what you are?

• 1:44Speaker 02

  Uh, yes. And I'm sorry.

• 1:45Conan O'Brien?

  You're a son of a bitch.

• 1:47Speaker 02

  Oh, I am.

• 2:10Conan O'Brien?

  Hey there and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. And I do, I need a friend. It's never too late to become my chum. Joined by Sona Movsesian. How are you, Sona? Good to see you.

• 2:21Speaker 03

  I'm doing all right.

• 2:23Conan O'Brien?

  You're doing OK?

• 2:24Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:24Conan O'Brien?

  And Matthew Gourley. Hi. And Sona, quickly, we should address the fact that you did lose your house in the fire, but you've, you guys have found a new place that you might be moving into.

• 2:36Speaker 03

  We have, yeah. In fact, I was there yesterday for an inspection and I ran into a really nice man named Richard walking his dog. And he said, "I usually listen to you while I'm walking my dog."

• 2:48Conan O'Brien?

  Wow.

• 2:48Speaker 03

  Yeah, and I was like, "I get to live by a fan."

• 2:52Conan O'Brien?

  That's nice.

• 2:53Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 2:53Conan O'Brien?

  That's nice.

• 2:54Speaker 03

  Yeah, it is nice.

• 2:56Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, well, you hesitated for a second.

• 2:57Speaker 03

  No, I mean, like, you know.

• 3:00Conan O'Brien?

  There's a lot of people.

• 3:01Speaker 03

  It's great, it's good, it's a good thing. He's really nice and it's a really nice place and I'm excited not to live at my mom and dad's house.

• 3:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, that sounded like, I mean, I love your mom and dad, but it can be difficult to live with your parents.

• 3:15Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 3:16Conan O'Brien?

  Not meant to at a certain point.

• 3:18Speaker 03

  Nope.

• 3:18Conan O'Brien?

  I'm guessing, is it Nadia? Is it your mom who can kind of, she can wear on you a little bit sometimes?

• 3:24Speaker 03

  You know, yeah, she can.

• 3:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, and she means well, she's got, she's well intentioned.

• 3:29Speaker 03

  They are unbelievable, it was so nice to let us stay there. But they also, they watch a lot of Turkish soap operas.

• 3:37Conan O'Brien?

  What?

• 3:37Speaker 03

  Yeah, it's like all day. I mean, not all day, but it's like a lot of Turkish, because they're from Turkey, they're Armenian, it's important to note that, but they're from Turkey.

• 3:46Conan O'Brien?

  But wait a minute, where do you, where does one get, because I'm constantly looking for Turkish soap operas and I don't. I got a guy, you need some, I'll get you some.

• 3:52Speaker 03

  Do you really?

• 3:52Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  You know what's up? YouTube.

• 3:55Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, so they watch them on YouTube?

• 3:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 3:57Conan O'Brien?

  Do you follow the stories?

• 3:58Speaker 03

  No, I don't watch it with them. I'm in, I'm in my room watching TV on a, on my laptop, like a door.

• 4:04Conan O'Brien?

  You're watching The Pit or something like current.

• 4:06Speaker 03

  Yeah, I got really into The Pit lately, yeah.

• 4:09Conan O'Brien?

  Would you, do you ever, I mean, I'd just be curious, what happens in a Turkish soap opera? Are they the same? Kind of model is every soap opera everywhere. It's just, oh, it's Turkey.

• 4:18Speaker 03

  I think the lighting is different. They're all gorgeous and have beautiful skin. And then they, uh,

• 4:24Conan O'Brien?

  Eduardo, you want to jump in here?

• 4:25Speaker 03

  Everything feels very dramatic.

• 4:26Speaker 04

  I'm only familiar because my mom watches a Turkish novella. It's basically a Turkish soap opera, but the Spanish channels have put subtitles and there's people speaking in Spanish over them. And I asked her where they were from. She's like, oh, it's in Turkey. So they're popular, I guess.

• 4:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, there's certain countries that have dominated, like Korean soap operas are legit.

• 4:48Conan O'Brien?

  My mother-in-law watches those. Oh, really? And in my travel shows, whenever we can, I try to do a local soap opera.

• 4:55Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 4:55Conan O'Brien?

  And we've done them in a bunch of countries. And I cannot tell you how many times someone from Mexico has said, I look familiar to them, or they know, they kind of know who I am, but they're not sure. And I say, I'll show you who I am. And I call up when I was on the telenovela.

• 5:12Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:12Conan O'Brien?

  Um, in, uh, it was in the Mexico City episode, and I show it to them. And, uh, they always enjoy it because I'm speaking Spanish the whole time, my version of Spanish.

• 5:23Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 5:24Conan O'Brien?

  And, uh, I have, and I love it because I have a mustache.

• 5:27Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah, you always have a mustache.

• 5:28Conan O'Brien?

  I always try and have a mustache. That's good. And try and exude authority, but I love being in foreign soap operas. And I realize I haven't done a Turkish soap opera. I'd love to be in one.

• 5:39Speaker 03

  Yeah, yeah.

• 5:40Conan O'Brien?

  No, you don't seem thrilled about it.

• 5:41Speaker 03

  I think you could do it. I hope you could do it.

• 5:43Conan O'Brien?

  I did an Armenian show.

• 5:44Speaker 03

  Yeah, you did.

• 5:45Conan O'Brien?

  Was it a crime show? I played a crime boss.

• 5:46Speaker 03

  You played a, you played a crime boss. First of all, they tried to make you look Armenian and it did not work.

• 5:52Conan O'Brien?

  That's right. I don't know what they did to me, but they like painted dark wrinkles on me or something.

• 5:58Speaker 03

  They put dark eyebrows and then they put a dark wig on you.

• 6:01Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, and on the palest man in the world.

• 6:04Speaker 03

  Yes.

• 6:04Conan O'Brien?

  They gave me jet black curly hair and a crazy eyebrows. And I'm a drug lord.

• 6:12Speaker 03

  Yeah, and you just ordered guys to beat up another person.

• 6:16Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, and I had to say it in Armenian, which was very difficult.

• 6:19Speaker 04

  Do you remember your line?

• 6:19Conan O'Brien?

  No, I don't remember.

• 6:20Speaker 03

  Herike or herika, which means enough.

• 6:23Conan O'Brien?

  Herika, like, oh, they were beating him up. And I said, enough, herika.

• 6:26Speaker 03

  And then you had a cigar in your hand.

• 6:28Conan O'Brien?

  A cigar in my mouth. And I just sort of was trying to be like the Tony Soprano of Yerevan. Armenia. But I have to say, in the new Max series, for the second season, I, I'm, I think, yes, I did a medical drama. Like their version of The Pit.

• 6:47Speaker 05

  Yeah.

• 6:49Conan O'Brien?

  I did a medical drama in, and it was in. New Zealand? It was in New Zealand. And I'm really excited for that to come out because I had to know all of this. They gave me an impossible amount of medical jargon because I think they really wanted me to fuck up badly. Did you do American accent or New Zealand? Uh, I didn't do, I didn't attempt the accent. I did not. So, sorry for that. But I think I did nail the, uh, the medical jargon. Do you remember your lines? No, I don't remember my lines.

• 7:18Speaker 03

  Do you guys, did you guys ever watch American soap operas?

• 7:21Conan O'Brien?

  I did for a summer or two.

• 7:22Speaker 03

  Me too.

• 7:23Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 7:23Speaker 03

  My friend once lied to us when we were like 12 and said she made out with Austin Peck from Days of Our Lives and we believed her, so we watched Days of Our Lives. And then we found out she didn't ever make out with Austin.

• 7:35Conan O'Brien?

  How old was she at the time?

• 7:36Speaker 03

  She was like 14.

• 7:38Conan O'Brien?

  So he'd be under arrest.

• 7:40Speaker 03

  But we didn't, we'd like, think of it that way. We're like, oh my God, she made out with Austin Peck, but she just lied to us. Just blatantly lied to us and we believed her. And we all got into Days of Our Lives to support the guy that she made out with.

• 7:52Conan O'Brien?

  To support him? Wait, so how old was he at the time?

• 7:55Speaker 03

  He must've been in his twenties. I have no idea. He had no idea who she was.

• 7:59Conan O'Brien?

  What an interesting, so she just stuck with this lie?

• 8:01Speaker 03

  Just lied about it.

• 8:03Conan O'Brien?

  Do you still talk to her?

• 8:04Speaker 03

  No, that broke everything up.

• 8:06Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, yeah.

• 8:07Speaker 03

  She lied about a lot of stuff. She also lied, she said she was a model and we were like, you're 5'2", but okay. Like, we believed everything she said. I don't believe anybody now.

• 8:17Conan O'Brien?

  I wish I had known you then because you were very gullible. Yeah, I know. Hey, can you give me some money? I'm an ATM and I ran out. Okay, you don't look like an ATM. I don't remember having to put cash into an ATM, but okay. I guess they do have to be restocked. But you do have arms and legs and a head. Well, anyway. I'm a baby that only eats wallets.

• 8:38Speaker 03

  You're just so gullible. We really, it wasn't just me, it was like my friend group.

• 8:43Conan O'Brien?

  But did, you're, uh, unfailingly honest. You didn't lie?

• 8:48Speaker 03

  No, what do you mean? Why about what?

• 8:50Conan O'Brien?

  You're a very honest person, so

• 8:52Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 8:52Conan O'Brien?

  there are kids that will just say stuff. Like, my brother Neil, growing up, he went to a different school than I did, and he would come home, and he would just, I'd say, "What did you learn today?" And he'd say, "Oh, today we learned..." And then he would just tell me things that were completely untrue. And I was just a little kid, so I believed him.

• 9:09Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 9:10Speaker 06

  And you'd take them back to school, thinking you knew some stuff?

• 9:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I'd say, "My brother said..."

• 9:13Speaker 03

  Like, he's so cool.

• 9:15Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. He told me, "Oh, today we learned that there's a hole that they found in the earth, and they lowered a camera in it, and it went to the center of the earth, and they took a couple of pictures with it."

• 9:23Speaker 03

  Luke.

• 9:24Conan O'Brien?

  Um, and, uh, and when they, and when they, then, they felt a tugging on the line, and they pulled it up, and the camera was all mangled, but they were able to develop the film, and they could see a T-Rex charging. And I was like, "What?" And he went, "Yeah, proof that there's a T-Rex at the center of the earth." And Neil's a couple of years older than me, and knew better.

• 9:44Speaker 03

  Oh, Neil did this?

• 9:45Conan O'Brien?

  This is Neil. No, no, Luke was always like a priest. He was just really good, and like, "Well, I wouldn't tell an untruth." Neil would just fuck with me all the time. He told me so many lies, and still does. I talk to him every day, he always lied to me.

• 10:00Speaker 03

  Did you do that, though, to Justin?

• 10:02Conan O'Brien?

  No, I didn't lie.

• 10:02Speaker 03

  You did.

• 10:03Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, I didn't lie to Justin. I would, Justin was 10 years younger than me, he was a little kid, and so what I did to Justin was just broke his mind. It was strange games. So he just wanted to play cops and robbers, and I would say, "Oh, yeah, I told you this, right?" And I would just tangle him up in paperwork. "You drew your pistol." And he'd be like, "What? You drew your pistol, there's paperwork." And I would get pads of paper from my dad's office. "You need to fill out these, fill out forms." "It's a bureaucracy. That's a big part of being a cop."

• 10:34Speaker 03

  That's worse than what Neil did to you, I think.

• 10:36Speaker 06

  My neighbor saw The Shining before I did, and told me about it, recounted it, and completely lied about it. And then when I saw it, was just forever wondering where. He said that Jack Nicholson got his arm cut off, and you know how a human can grow an arm back? He grows an arm back, and all this stuff. And I just was expecting...

• 10:53Conan O'Brien?

  Was this a kid?

• 10:54Speaker 06

  It was a kid, yeah, he was my age.

• 10:56Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, that's okay, kids are just crazy. I think it's okay if you're a kid. I just, for a moment, I pictured like a 35-year-old neighbor. And then it's, then it's time to call somebody.

• 11:05Speaker 03

  Wait, why are you guys getting on my case about believing that my friend made out with Austin Peck? When you guys believed all this shit your brothers and your friends told you?

• 11:12Speaker 06

  Good point, good point.

• 11:13Speaker 03

  We were all dumb.

• 11:14Conan O'Brien?

  Can I say something? You just stood up for yourself in a way that I thought was deserved.

• 11:19Speaker 03

  Yes, thank you.

• 11:20Conan O'Brien?

  And, um, I don't know, I still think you're dumb, but.

• 11:23Speaker 06

  It doesn't change anything. It's oppressive what you did.

• 11:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. But think of the three of us.

• 11:27Speaker 06

  It's crazy that you believed that girl.

• 11:29Speaker 03

  It is pretty stupid.

• 11:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. All right, well, let's, uh, let's get this podcast going. My guest today, I am thrilled he's here. He starred in the Deadpool films and the FX series Welcome to Wrexham, which returns for a fourth season on May 15th. Absolutely delighted he's here today. He's incredibly talented, uh, screen actor, television actor, but also one of the funnier people you will run into in life.

• 11:55Speaker 06

  Yeah.

• 11:56Conan O'Brien?

  He's crazy talented and a good soul. Ryan Reynolds, welcome.

• 12:00Speaker 06

  He didn't leave the pause.

• 12:01Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, sorry.

• 12:02Speaker 06

  Let's keep this.

• 12:03Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, oh, what did I do wrong?

• 12:04Speaker 06

  You didn't leave the pause. We talked about this last episode. Before you say the name, you're supposed to.

• 12:08Conan O'Brien?

  I think I'm just excited that Ryan's here.

• 12:10Speaker 06

  I understand, and I should have told you literally seven years ago when we started this podcast.

• 12:14Conan O'Brien?

  He was 15.

• 12:15Speaker 03

  But you did remind him right before we started recording.

• 12:18Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, but you know what you have to do is you have to hold up a sign that says pause, because I'm a busy man. And I get excited when it's Ryan Reynolds.

• 12:24Speaker 06

  Okay.

• 12:25Conan O'Brien?

  All right, let's give you the pause.

• 12:26Speaker 06

  All right.

• 12:27Conan O'Brien?

  I'm thrilled he's here today.

• 12:41Conan O'Brien?

  Ryan Reynolds, welcome. Oh, the mouth noises.

• 12:47Conan O'Brien?

  I have to say, and this is, well, there's no rhyme or reason to these interviews, but I've talked to you about this a while ago. Just Friends, I watched that with my wife. It was a movie that may have been mis marketed. I don't underst-, you know, it came out, didn't make a big splash. Hilarious. One of my favorite, one of my favorite Christmas comedies. It has so many hilarious performances in it, and then we showed it to our kids. And I mean, but everybody, it is a relentlessly funny movie. And I remember telling you a bunch of years ago, I swear to God, that movie will endure. It's gonna, it's gonna stick around.

• 13:24Speaker 02

  But you don't know about those kinds of movies. I mean, you never know. You never know when you're making it. You're gonna like, oh, this is gonna work. This is not gonna work. Um, you could, when you're older, I think you can trust your experience and your instincts that line up. But then when you're older, you also go, nobody knows anything. So, but Just Friends, I, um, God, that was, we shot in Regina, Saskatchewan. It's one of my few times that I've ever been scared of like going to jail. Because we, just as a joke, me and the art department, we made a sign that would go over, it'd snap over the Welcome to Regina sign. And it just said, Welcome to Regina, which rhymes with fun. And they, uh, I got in trouble though.

• 14:01Conan O'Brien?

  You got in trouble?

• 14:02Speaker 02

  But then they thought it was funny because it snapped off. So at first it was vandalism.

• 14:06Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 14:06Speaker 02

  And then it was, uh, then it was class.

• 14:08Conan O'Brien?

  Then it was an art installment.

• 14:09Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 14:10Conan O'Brien?

  That could come down.

• 14:11Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. And I come from RCMP. My dad, my brother is currently an RCMP, uh, officer. We, I always say, you guys should just say agent. It sounds better. You're an RCMP agent.

• 14:23Conan O'Brien?

  Isn't that Royal Canadian Mounted Police?

• 14:25Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 14:25Conan O'Brien?

  I believe I was a Royal Mounted Policeman in Canada. We did a week of shows in Toronto a long time ago. And one of the remotes I shot, I either was sworn in temporarily or we just stole the costume. Either way, I operated, uh, at, at, at the border. I threw snowballs at people trying to come in and out of Canada dressed in that outfit. And man, I've never felt

• 14:54Speaker 02

  Power.

• 14:54Conan O'Brien?

  More power in my life.

• 14:56Speaker 02

  And polite.

• 14:56Conan O'Brien?

  And polite.

• 14:57Speaker 02

  Yep.

• 14:58Conan O'Brien?

  I had pancakes in my pockets.

• 15:00Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 15:00Conan O'Brien?

  Instead of a gun.

• 15:01Speaker 02

  Yep, yes, exactly.

• 15:03Conan O'Brien?

  Syrup, little cartridges of syrup.

• 15:05Speaker 02

  My dad used to bus guys with confetti.

• 15:09Speaker 02

  He would just like walk up and throw the confetti at you. And it's always fun when you and your brother, you have three older brothers. So it was just mayhem, just actual mayhem. I mean, this is a horrible situation because I'm the youngest, so I'm the moving target. They're brothers, you know, I'm just the moving target or harvestable organs. And, you know, we would, but as I got older, we would get out in this, in this, on the lawn. And it would be like an old fashioned, like Tom Cruise in Far and Away with the like, the knuckles up and we would just beat the living shit out of each other. The neighbor would call the cops and the cop would be my dad. And that's not a cop we wanted to mess with.

• 15:49Speaker 05

  Oh, my God.

• 15:49Speaker 02

  Yeah, but my dad got out of copping, uh, you know, I don't, I mean, he wasn't big on the truth. So I don't know why. But, um, he, yeah, he got out of copping and then became a food broker, which we're like, come on, that's CIA, right?

• 16:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 16:04Speaker 02

  And he's like, no, I really am a middleman for jars of jam. And, uh, and tiny yogurts. What?

• 16:11Conan O'Brien?

  He works for Meghan Markle.

• 16:13Speaker 02

  Yes, yes. Really tiny jams, harvestable jams. Yes, exactly. Made from the oils of Montecito. If Jimbo Reynolds wasn't dead, I would say he is Meghan Markle, adjacent.

• 16:25Conan O'Brien?

  Many people have likened the two. I have to say, you, uh, there's so much to talk about here. I am thrilled that you've come on the pod and you fascinate me because and anger me and enrage me.

• 16:39Speaker 02

  Yep, yep.

• 16:40Conan O'Brien?

  Because you have the leading man looks and all the abilities that come with being a movie star. But when you send me a text, it is one of the funniest written texts that I've received. And I read, you blasted me a couple of weeks ago with these texts. And I was reading them and I thought, this is a class A comedy writer. You have a comedy writer's brain.

• 17:06Speaker 02

  It took me 41 days to compose that one. And it was just in case before that I had no idea I was going to be on the show.

• 17:12Conan O'Brien?

  I could tell it took a long time to compose. You said day nine at one point. You broke up the.

• 17:18Speaker 02

  Day nine, me, Wilson, you. I, I basically, I think it was about like the dwindling licensing rights at the Academy Awards Show. How the fate of the future of film and television, of course, is on your shoulders. Please don't fuck this up. There are a few hundred thousand people who are like, you know, very selfish and dependent upon food and shelter.

• 17:40Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 17:41Speaker 02

  You know, adequate medical attention.

• 17:43Conan O'Brien?

  I was, I was reading this thing, and I don't ever do this, but you sent me this really funny and my son, my son loves your work, really loves Deadpool. And he is a 19-year-old gentleman, and I just said, I never do this, but read this email. And he was laughing out loud.

• 18:02Speaker 02

  Oh, that's great.

• 18:03Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, I mean, just, just, and it's, it's, it's really funny because I don't know you're in a class by yourself of people that can, I think, work both ends of that spectrum.

• 18:17Speaker 02

  Lonely at the top.

• 18:19Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, I know.

• 18:20Speaker 02

  I know you know. We're up there together, just holding each other to the body.

• 18:24Conan O'Brien?

  I'm at a different top.

• 18:25Speaker 02

  Oh, sorry.

• 18:25Conan O'Brien?

  You're at, you're at the big top. You're at that top. You're at the top of like Everest.

• 18:30Speaker 02

  I'm at the top of a hill.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  An anthill.

• 18:34Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, no, quite a hill, so no.

• 18:37Speaker 02

  I'm in the Prairies, Canada. I'm in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, where the tallest hill is a curve.

• 18:42Conan O'Brien?

  Kids can sled on my hill. That I stand atop.

• 18:45Speaker 02

  I can see my house from the curve. No, that, yeah, that's a very kind.

• 18:49Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no, I, I know you, you're not gonna like a compliment, but your facility, and also, it's so perfect. I know it took you forever to get Deadpool made. And there's a whole saga of you saying, I know how to do this, this needs to be a movie. And I can't believe it took so long to make. But the Deadpool's facility with language and his sort of rubber, it's not just physical rubber man quality, but also the verbal alacrity you have to have. You've got that, and I'm thinking, that's because your brothers beat you.

• 19:25Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 19:25Conan O'Brien?

  Because I had older brothers too that beat me.

• 19:27Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 19:28Conan O'Brien?

  And I don't have as much of it as you. They weren't as strong as your brothers. And my dad was a microbiologist, so he couldn't.

• 19:34Speaker 02

  Fuck off.

• 19:36Conan O'Brien?

  So I'm saying, he couldn't come in with that heavy cop energy. My dad came in every now and then with like a slide of a paramecium. And he'd say, "Now that's enough of that."

• 19:45Speaker 02

  Yes, yes.

• 19:46Conan O'Brien?

  "I'll release this paramecium."

• 19:48Speaker 02

  Spare the rod, spoil the child with paramecium.

• 19:51Conan O'Brien?

  What I'm saying is, you developed, you evolved into a higher being because you had more, more to contend with. That's what I say to you, sir.

• 20:01Speaker 02

  I have exited some rooms through drywall, I'll say that. And my father was, yeah, he was definitely very, well, I'm just gonna say it emotionally abusive, but no. Jesus. No, no, no. My dad was, it's actually odd because my dad was tough and he was very, very like coiled. And I think when you, as you get older, and he's been, he's passed away for, I don't know, 10 years now or so. Cause of death uncertain. No, he died of something tragic, but anyway.

• 20:35Conan O'Brien?

  How do you get laughs with that line?

• 20:37Speaker 02

  You shouldn't.

• 20:39Conan O'Brien?

  How do you know he died of something tragic? Big laugh from this side of the room.

• 20:43Speaker 02

  Out of trust, I'm gonna leave a large air hole now. Okay, and as I was saying, you know, he was, he was, the story changes when people pass away too. It's like your, your memory becomes like a, less of a reliable narrator and it becomes more of a feeling. Like I was, you know, I've been, I'm pushing 50 here, I've had some experience, some experience under my belt. And I'm listening to, I'm realizing I don't know as much now as I thought I did then. So when I think about my dad and I think about how I internalized however he was raising me and the kid, the other brothers and certainly his relationship with my mom, it's not what it, I started asking myself, is that true?

• 21:25Speaker 02

  Is that true? Was he really that? Or was that more romantic to think of it like that? And he was not great in some ways, and in other ways, he was, he was great, like he really was. And I think it just, in time, that changed. When you die, they will love you.

• 21:40Conan O'Brien?

  We don't have to worry about that. We will not have to worry about that for four years. So let's just settle down, everybody.

• 21:47Speaker 02

  It's gonna be like an ex-president, he's gonna have a huge effigy built. The Conan O'Brien library.

• 21:54Conan O'Brien?

  Library.

• 21:55Speaker 02

  The Bruce Valanche log.

• 22:00Speaker 02

  Bruce Valanche bible.

• 22:02Conan O'Brien?

  He'll be giving the tours.

• 22:03Speaker 02

  Yes, oh god, yeah.

• 22:04Conan O'Brien?

  No, it's interesting you say that because I have the same experience. First of all, my therapist would say, "Your dad did the best he could." And then I would say to my therapist, "No, he didn't."

• 22:14Speaker 02

  Oh wow, see, I'd cry.

• 22:15Conan O'Brien?

  And then we'd fight. But let that sit for a second. "Your dad did the best he could, given what he had."

• 22:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, he did. But he really did. My dad's dad would come home from his job. He was like a city councilman in Alberta and then moved to British Columbia. They bought their house for, I don't know, like a half glass of water and spit. And like, lived in this house. But he would get out there and mow the lawn after work. And he'd take his jacket off, not his tie, and he would fold his shirt up one cuff. And then mow the lawn. Like, this is not a man who knows how to fuck. So, you know, like, very conservative, right? I mean, very conservative.

• 22:59Conan O'Brien?

  Well, wait a minute. Maybe he's just put up one and then the other and then jackhammer.

• 23:07Speaker 02

  Makita power drill.

• 23:10Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, I'm saying, a lot of people assume I might fall in that category. But what I do is I put one and then I put the other up, loosen the tie a little.

• 23:22Speaker 02

  And I show them how the Vikings took Iceland. Uh, yes.

• 23:28Speaker 02

  No.

• 23:30Conan O'Brien?

  Is that why they did it?

• 23:32Speaker 02

  Yeah. It's like, every bully has a bully, right? You know, so he had those elements, but he also, he showed up. You know, he once went a long, long time without speaking to me. And it was over something, yeah, something trivial and dumb. Uh, and then he, but he would never miss a game. Never miss a football game, never miss a baseball game. Always there for a catch, even though it would be silent and super fucking awkward.

• 23:53Conan O'Brien?

  He would do it, yeah. And, and he had, that, that guy had a right arm that you would not believe. He had a, he could, he broke the, the little bone in my finger. I had to switch to a catcher's mitt. And he did that underhand. Like, so when people are like, oh, that's a softball question. I'm always like, have you ever fucking caught a softball from Jim Reynolds?

• 24:15Conan O'Brien?

  No, you haven't. Shut up about that sport.

• 24:20Conan O'Brien?

  God, if pickleball were around, there'd be a lot of dead people.

• 24:29Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 24:31Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 24:32Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen. You know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 24:46Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 24:47Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 24:55Speaker 03

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 25:00Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 25:19Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 25:20Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 25:53Conan O'Brien?

  Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?

• 25:58Speaker 03

  My kids.

• 25:58Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 25:59Speaker 03

  Or Okie. Or my dog.

• 26:01Conan O'Brien?

  And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that, uh, that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?

• 26:10Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:10Conan O'Brien?

  And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey.

• 26:15Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:15Conan O'Brien?

  Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's, uh, very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.

• 26:47Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, I want to try something different.

• 26:49Speaker 03

  What?

• 26:49Conan O'Brien?

  I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm going to try and make apple cider.

• 26:53Speaker 03

  Ooh.

• 26:53Conan O'Brien?

  Every morning.

• 26:54Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 26:54Conan O'Brien?

  This fall, just to see if I can do it.

• 26:56Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 26:57Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, fall's the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.

• 27:01Speaker 03

  Oh, that's good.

• 27:02Conan O'Brien?

  See what I did?

• 27:02Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:03Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You want to hear what they are?

• 27:06Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:07Conan O'Brien?

  They're America's best network.

• 27:08Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 27:09Conan O'Brien?

  True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.

• 27:16Speaker 03

  Oh, that's weird.

• 27:16Conan O'Brien?

  When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider. And, uh, that's when it comes in handy. Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the

• 27:25Speaker 03

  You travel a lot.

• 27:26Conan O'Brien?

  Travel show that I do.

• 27:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 27:28Conan O'Brien?

  Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre, I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.

• 27:38Speaker 03

  That doesn't seem like a good idea.

• 27:39Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great idea.

• 27:40Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 27:41Conan O'Brien?

  You know, uh, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?

• 27:46Speaker 03

  My god.

• 27:47Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Now, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.

• 27:50Speaker 03

  I agree.

• 27:51Conan O'Brien?

  T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to tmobile.com and find yours best, based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit tmobile.com, consult a physician. I just threw that in there.

• 28:15Speaker 03

  Oh.

• 28:21Conan O'Brien?

  So my question is, did your dad get, obviously, I think the answer is yes. He must have seen your career blow up. And was it unalloyed joy, or was it complicated?

• 28:35Speaker 02

  No, it was joy once I kind of, in his, whatever his measure of making it means. Then it was.

• 28:42Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 28:42Speaker 02

  Except, you know, he didn't go to university, but he didn't talk about that. He had Parkinson's. He said the word Parkinson's maybe three times in his life. Also a former boxer, former, who knows, but, you know. So he was very reserved with that, with praise, which is why I have an insatiable desire for validation. So we can unpack that later. Never. I love you guys. You don't need that.

• 29:08Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I don't know what you're talking about.

• 29:10Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 29:10Conan O'Brien?

  As someone who has no need for validation.

• 29:13Speaker 02

  Absolutely not. But he would, when I made, quote unquote, made it, I think then he accepted it. He was very bummed that I didn't go to university. I did, though. I went for, I'm not making this up. I went for 45 minutes. I wanted to meet the one teacher, who's like a guy that, Dr. McLean was his name. He was a, he got his doctorate in prison. He was, I think, a Hells Angel or something, but went to jail for 20 years or something, long time. And then, but got his education in jail and became an author and wrote a book. And I read this book. I went there, I met him, beautiful, lots of prison tattoos, but also beautiful pastel sweater. And then I walked back out the door of Quantlin Polytechnic University in British Columbia, and I drove to Los Angeles.

• 29:57Conan O'Brien?

  So you went in knowing, I'm going to meet this one gentleman, and then I'm turning around, and I'm going to Los Angeles?

• 30:03Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:04Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, so you knew?

• 30:05Speaker 02

  Well, no, no, I really knew once I was inside. I just thought, I'm not ready for this. Like, I don't think I can do this. I only had one brother who really was adamant about going to university, and it stressed the hell out of him. And I just thought, I don't want to be a food broker. So, and you don't, my dad did it without a university education, so.

• 30:25Conan O'Brien?

  Did you do Groundlings when you got to LA? I think you did.

• 30:29Speaker 02

  I did do Groundlings, but I moved to LA to be in Groundlings. And of course, it doesn't work like that. You don't just show up and go, "Ready for the main stage, everyone."

• 30:37Speaker 02

  You know, I can give you strides, I can give you everything you want. No, you go through the class.

• 30:40Conan O'Brien?

  That's what I did.

• 30:41Speaker 02

  Oh, you did it.

• 30:41Conan O'Brien?

  When I showed up in LA and I was like, "I'm ready to perform." And they said, "You will take these classes."

• 30:47Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 30:48Conan O'Brien?

  And I said, "Yes, I will."

• 30:49Speaker 02

  Yes, you will.

• 30:49Conan O'Brien?

  And I did, but at least I got stage time.

• 30:52Speaker 02

  That's the thing, yeah.

• 30:54Conan O'Brien?

  And got to improvise with some great people.

• 30:56Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 30:57Conan O'Brien?

  And so.

• 30:58Speaker 02

  Well, they're so good, they're all so in shape and they're like, you know what I mean? That's a muscle, like that kind of ability, so.

• 31:03Speaker 03

  I thought you meant physically.

• 31:04Speaker 02

  Physically, no, no, no, no. God, all these are comedians.

• 31:06Conan O'Brien?

  No, I've never been in shape.

• 31:07Speaker 03

  That's what I was confused. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 31:09Speaker 02

  No, no, no, no, they get home and just vanish into a jar of something, you know, it's, no.

• 31:14Conan O'Brien?

  But I would think you, as an improviser, that would be, I could see you being devastating as an improviser. I think it would be, that'd be your fun space. Just, I mean, just in the times that I've encountered you, we start fucking around instantly. And I could see like, "Oh, this is someone who wants to play 24/7," is the vibe that you give. I don't know if that's true.

• 31:35Speaker 02

  But also, I would say that you are a person that does it as well, but you can also pivot quite quickly to something that's emotional. Because most people that are funny, I think, have some pretty, you know, they're deeply emotional people as well. I think like comedy and drama subsist on the same thing, tension. Subverting it makes, moves you. And if you have like a film that has emotion, then you can, or anything, redemption, call it whatever you want. But it makes all that funny stuff so much more funny and rich and powerful. So I loved Groundlings when I did do their shows. I used to do like a, once in a while, like a Thursday Cooking with Gas show they had. And I would do, I think I did Armando a couple of times here. And then I loved it because there was no limit to it. But on a film set, I don't want to, I like, it's almost like method acting.

• 32:17Speaker 02

  I'm not gonna, like, when people are coming on a film set, a Deadpool film, anything, I'm not gonna make my process their process.

• 32:24Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 32:25Speaker 02

  So like, I'd never want to be that guy. So I always, I chat and we talk and we say, "How, how can I help you feel awesome?" And like, you know, even an actor who's a day player who comes in for one day, it's a, that's a hard, that's the hardest job in show business. Because he's got two lines. And he's gonna over the fuck do it like you wouldn't believe. Because in his mind, you know, there's no small parts, just small actors. I gotta crush the shit out of this. And then you, but you, if you can make it safe. I always love the.

• 32:55Conan O'Brien?

  You're soup, sir.

• 32:58Speaker 02

  We're going to liquefy you. And I'm, I'm gonna snort your ashes on the top of the plastique.

• 33:09Speaker 02

  Just to say I did it.

• 33:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 33:12Speaker 02

  Yeah, but I always say to them, when they're leaving, you say, hey, look, here's gonna be that moment. You're gonna drive home and yeah, when day players, you drive your cell phone. And you, you have to touch everything in the car too, by the way. You, you're gonna get in that car and you're gonna go, fuck, I should have done that. And then I was like, then we go like, okay, take 10 minutes and think about what that is.

• 33:35Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 33:35Speaker 02

  And then let's go do that. And it's like this fun little trick and then you do that and then you say, now do the worst version you can do. Like, I'm telling you, you're safe, would never use the worst version, trust me. But like, do the worst, and then that's always the take that ends up in this show. Because now you've, you've basically said like, you're as safe as you could ever imagine.

• 33:53Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 33:53Speaker 02

  And I love that feeling. So I'm not like, I, my improv is like, I've written 10 alts for each joke, but not just for me, but for my co-stars or, you know, and it's a, well, here's a menu. Is there anything you'd like here? Wesley Snipes was like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I was like, you did not read that fast. Come on, this one had a beginning, middle and end.

• 34:18Speaker 02

  Like, come on.

• 34:19Conan O'Brien?

  Wesley Snipes has gotten pretty far on nope.

• 34:21Speaker 02

  Yeah, oh my God, but then he, then he delivered. He was like, you know, I gave him that, yeah, this ice skate uphill line. He was like, I'll do it.

• 34:28Conan O'Brien?

  Right. So much, you know, when I watched Deadpool and Wolverine, the.

• 34:35Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, I'm just, I'm, I'm thinking the credit sequence at the top, you know, the, the, the.

• 34:41Speaker 02

  It served nine, not, it served nine purposes, pretty much, but yes.

• 34:45Conan O'Brien?

  Well, but I'm thinking, I'm, I'm hard pressed to think of, um, how much was packed into one film? And to just be watching, so my son and I love that. We were going to that movie and something went awry and we got there and I just said, oh, trust me, we're just gonna miss like two seconds up top and we missed, I think we missed like forty-five seconds of the opening.

• 35:09Speaker 02

  That would have hurt, that would have killed me if I knew that.

• 35:11Conan O'Brien?

  And you know what? It killed me to the point that we went back and watched it later on to, but it's rare that you can miss forty-five seconds of a movie and at the top and feel like, oh shit. I missed some sweet, sweet syrup because the whole thing was jam packed.

• 35:28Speaker 02

  You just missed me singing along to the Marvel theme song, the ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Marvel, they're so stupid, you know, I'm making my own movie, you know, uh, but it was, they were, they were amazing. You could like make, I mean, Bob Iger was, you know, he, he saw the film and the first time he saw the film, he was in pretty good shape and he, he said, uh, I gotta, you gotta get out of remove the one line, Ryan. And I was like, what, what line? You know the line. And I went, Mickey Mouse? He's like, yeah. And I was like, the Bob, the whole movie orbits around that line. Like, I mean, that line is the film, it's the thrust, the, the thesis, it's everything.

• 36:04Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 36:05Speaker 02

  And it's because my brain, when he says the one line is like, precious.

• 36:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 36:10Speaker 02

  Must keep the line. Uh, and so I really had to kind of like walk around his office a little bit, do a couple of laps and then it was fine. We were good. We switched it up. And he was, he just didn't want a Mickey Mouse, the Mickey Mouse joke in. And I, and now it got, like, not because of me, they released this script for like WGA, uh, you know, awards season and stuff and they, they just shower these kinds of movies with awards. So, um, you know, I was dancing behind you and trying to suggest things at the, uh, at the Academy Awards.

• 36:41Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, you were. Yes, you were.

• 36:42Speaker 02

  What we're calling the Academy Award situation.

• 36:44Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yes.

• 36:45Speaker 02

  You, you were in, um, in the situation.

• 36:48Conan O'Brien?

  I love that nobody knows that when I hosted the Oscars, that really was you as Deadpool.

• 36:52Speaker 02

  Oh, my God.

• 36:52Conan O'Brien?

  No one knows, you know?

• 36:54Speaker 02

  Well, yeah, most would assume arthritis at this stage of the game. They have pills for that, too.

• 37:01Conan O'Brien?

  Did you have, I have a question, which is, did you have an idea of what you wanted your trajectory to be? Would you have been happy if TV had hit and that had worked out? Or did you always know, like, pretty much where you wanted to end up?

• 37:15Speaker 02

  Well, it's so different now. It's like now people who are in film are hoping to gain enough respect to get a TV show.

• 37:20Conan O'Brien?

  Right. If I could get, like, Lotus.

• 37:22Speaker 02

  Oh, my God, a limited series.

• 37:24Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 37:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, I know. Everything happened perfectly. My whole career was in aggregate. It was very slow. It was never, I never experienced that overnight fame thing. And I honestly, I think about how lucky I am because a lot of the guys that I came into the business with are gone. And a lot of them are passed away. Or like, you know, took these tragic, you know, turns where you hear about it, you know, one random Wednesday, you're like, what? You know, you just can't.

• 37:52Conan O'Brien?

  These are friends of yours?

• 37:53Speaker 02

  Yeah, you know, in Los Angeles, when I first met you, I lived in East Hollywood and, you know, everyone was partying, everyone was doing, you know, this and that. And I just, it was scary. It's a scary place to.

• 38:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 38:05Speaker 02

  You know, to be young and to have fame and money is a very, very odd combination of things. And I thankfully was so slow with everything. I wasn't, I wouldn't consider, like, I'd sort of hit it in a way. When you asked me earlier, my dad, he never made it to Deadpool. Like, he never made it to that coming out. He made it to, I was in post-production on October 25th in 2015, when he passed away. It was three months earlier. My daughter, James, is named for him. So he's James Reynolds. James does not like it when I call her Jimbo.

• 38:39Conan O'Brien?

  She'll grow to love you, James.

• 38:41Speaker 02

  I know. Yeah, I'm, and that's our dog, Hawk Tua.

• 38:48Speaker 02

  Yeah, okay, you know what? I'm gonna stop naming things.

• 38:51Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, don't name anything anymore. Oh, here comes my parakeet Adolf.

• 38:55Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah, oh my god. Poor sons of bitches around that time, right? Who had that, stuck with that name. God damn it. I mean, we had a feeling that his first speech, right? Putsch, you know, the putsch? It was nuts, he went nuts. Um, yeah, uh, yeah. I don't know what the fuck we were talking about, but, uh, um...

• 39:15Conan O'Brien?

  Well, you're trajectory, but you just, you took it one step at a time.

• 39:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, and I think it allowed me to enjoy it, like, in points. I'm always uncomfortable with the thing that I'm also pursuant of, right? Like, your fame is a weird thing. It has a little power to it, it's odd, but like, I, I, I found a way to kind of make myself appreciate that part of it more. Because I love acknowledging and playing with the cultural landscape. Whether it's in a movie, a commercial, sports, like, I don't care. I just, I don't discriminate. I love that they're in all those, all those areas. So, sharing fame made it way, way less weird for me. Like, when, when like, a kid comes up and says, can I get a selfie with you? I'm like, who's the most important person in your life? And they're like, uh, my dad, Frank.

• 40:00Speaker 02

  And I'm like, video, I switched to video, I'm like, Frank, I'm here with, fucks your name? Will, Will. This is not a hostage situation, he's fine. But he wants, he, you're the most important person. And he's like, you're the one, you were the phone a friend, that was you. You know, and then you let it go. It takes just a few seconds longer than a selfie.

• 40:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 40:20Speaker 02

  But like, now it's a fucking memory for them forever. And it's a thing that happened, and I walk away feeling like, good.

• 40:26Conan O'Brien?

  It's a great philosophy, you will attest. I, I pursue people who don't want a selfie with me.

• 40:32Speaker 02

  Oh, god, yeah, that's...

• 40:33Conan O'Brien?

  And say, come on, you're gonna like it! It's gonna be funny! I've chased children into traffic. Give me a phone, it'll be good, it'll be good! Who's the most important person in your life? Don't know who you are.

• 40:49Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, so there's neediness and then there's neediness, but they will enjoy that one day.

• 40:55Speaker 02

  I once made a video for Larazepam. Somebody said Larazepam was the most important thing in their life and I was like, okay, well, I'll make a video for that.

• 41:04Conan O'Brien?

  I've seen it. They air it now. It's a lot of money.

• 41:07Speaker 02

  And I just want to say, because I have to say this now every time I break it up, is that if you're having clay colored stool,

• 41:14Speaker 02

  please consult a doctor immediately. Larazepam. I feel like me again. Trademark. Fights our corporation. You can bleep those out, right?

• 41:24Conan O'Brien?

  No, we're gonna get that money. Thank you very much.

• 41:28Speaker 02

  They got a lot of money.

• 41:28Conan O'Brien?

  We will not share it with you. You will get none of it.

• 41:30Speaker 02

  The clay colored stool thing really cost them a lot too, because like, you don't want that. You don't.

• 41:33Conan O'Brien?

  Or do you?

• 41:34Speaker 02

  Or do you?

• 41:35Conan O'Brien?

  You can pass it off as clay in art class.

• 41:37Speaker 02

  If you listen to it while, if you're on the toilet and you put some Unchained Melody on and that comes out, you're like,

• 41:47Speaker 02

  it's never gonna happen, but if.

• 41:55Conan O'Brien?

  And Tac is holding you and you're both on the toilet?

• 41:57Speaker 05

  This is me and Tac.

• 42:01Speaker 05

  That's why they have reverse toilets.

• 42:03Speaker 02

  So you can sit this way.

• 42:05Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 42:05Speaker 05

  Oh, God.

• 42:06Speaker 06

  I've never done this before, but can we just turn off the mics?

• 42:11Speaker 05

  Let's rap early.

• 42:12Speaker 02

  I used to work with a studio executive who will not be named until we stop recording. And he always aimed it at someone, whoever saw.

• 42:22Speaker 02

  Jesus. Yeah. What do you mean, Jesus?

• 42:26Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, yes, we'll do your idea. Because it means you don't point your crotch at me.

• 42:31Speaker 02

  I'm going to, yeah, for those at home, Conan just went back in his chair and then aimed his crotch at everyone he was speaking to.

• 42:39Conan O'Brien?

  I learned from the best.

• 42:40Speaker 02

  Yes, he did.

• 42:42Conan O'Brien?

  I do learn from the best.

• 42:43Speaker 02

  And that man could use some underwear. I tell you that much because that also is, yeah.

• 42:47Conan O'Brien?

  We are in a moment where, of course. Politically, there's some tension between Canada and the United States over tariffs. What do you guys send us? What do we send you? And it occurred to me today that we have been getting some of the greatest comedians and comic minds and actors of all time from Canada. I don't think we've sent you shit. I don't think we've exported much to you in the comedy realm. And I think if someone were to do a reckoning just comedically, and you started to add up the Ryan Reynolds and the Martin Short and the Lorne Michaels and the Mike Myers, and it just goes on and on and on. There's too many to even begin naming.

• 43:30Speaker 02

  Seth Rogen went to the high school up the hill from me, yeah.

• 43:33Conan O'Brien?

  There you go.

• 43:34Speaker 02

  No, no, Seth Rogen went to high school. Oh my god.

• 43:38Conan O'Brien?

  He can read?

• 43:39Speaker 02

  Yeah, fluent.

• 43:41Conan O'Brien?

  A lot of kids who go to high school can't read. You can pass.

• 43:44Speaker 02

  I had to do a commercial in French Canadian the other day. And it was sort of like a very scary thing. Because when you're in those schools, you have to know French Canadian. You have to speak it fluently. And it just goes away. It just goes away. You don't use it, it's gone. So I was trying to do a commercial in French Canadian, it was just like everything.

• 43:59Conan O'Brien?

  This is a terrible sob story. So you're French Canadian. You should do a really sad tour where you go like, "People think I've got it all."

• 44:07Speaker 02

  No, yeah.

• 44:08Conan O'Brien?

  Ryan Reynolds, but I can't speak French Canadian.

• 44:10Speaker 02

  Until I ask for a pastry in Paris. And they're like, "Oh, is that French Canadian you're speaking?" "You need chocolat pour moi, yeah?"

• 44:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, it's not good. We were, Canada does have a lot of fun.

• 44:22Conan O'Brien?

  But what I'm saying is, you've sent us, and I'm thinking, what have we sent? What have we sent you guys? It's not a fair, there's an imbalance. Yeah, bird flu.

• 44:31Speaker 02

  Thanks, thank you.

• 44:32Conan O'Brien?

  So there is an imbalance of trade in that respect. And that's about as political as I get. But I think it's gotta stop, and it's gotta stop now.

• 44:39Speaker 02

  It's gotta stop now.

• 44:43Speaker 02

  I've had the acroide voice in my head all day. You've heard me doing my bad impression, but I can't get it out.

• 44:47Conan O'Brien?

  Now, you've had some.

• 44:48Speaker 02

  I can't get it out. Oh, kid. I'll tell you what kid, you fuck off back to Canada.

• 44:55Conan O'Brien?

  Dan Aykroyd, legendarily funny guy, but a not someone, he's an unusual man. He's, you don't meet a Dan Aykroyd every day and.

• 45:04Speaker 02

  Nope.

• 45:05Conan O'Brien?

  And.

• 45:06Speaker 02

  One of the more underrated though, I think, talents.

• 45:11Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my God.

• 45:12Speaker 02

  Like one of the smartest people you'll ever talk to, but yeah, eccentric.

• 45:17Conan O'Brien?

  But we were talking about how his comedic ability to, I mean, he did it on SNL in so many ways, but to fire information out of his mouth in, in, with great authority and accuracy.

• 45:29Speaker 02

  No one else could do that like him. Like he could pump like half of the movie's boring exposition, make it funny, make it entertaining into your mind in like a third of a second. It was the cra- I've never seen someone speak as fast as Dan Aykroyd does. In Ghostbusters, he has this, a speech that must've been that long on the page and it just comes out. And you know it, you still hear it all. That's the trick. And I just think he's, I'm kind of, I think I'm a little obsessed with him in some ways.

• 45:54Conan O'Brien?

  So he invited you to hang with him a little bit, right?

• 45:56Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 45:57Conan O'Brien?

  But then he also wanted you to take off at some point.

• 45:59Speaker 02

  Yeah, you gotta come up, you gotta come up here to Ontario, kid. And then we're gonna eat a dinner and you're gonna sleep over and then in the morning we're gonna do the interview and you're gonna, you're gonna fuck off back to where you came from.

• 46:08Speaker 02

  That's what we're gonna do, kid.

• 46:10Speaker 02

  Bring an extra order, order Canada pin for me, yeah? And put it on and do it. Let's go.

• 46:15Conan O'Brien?

  You know what I love is, there's a reason he made the Dragnet movie because he is Jack Webb in some ways. I think he is Jack Webb.

• 46:22Speaker 02

  Oh, 100%.

• 46:23Conan O'Brien?

  Cause Jack Webb, if you ever watch old Dragnets, it's all Jack Webb just spitting out all this information, really square, cop, 1960s, these are Bennys, those are high, if he'd have a, in his palm, he would have a list or a whole bunch of pills and he would rattle them out really quickly. Those are blue butterflies.

• 46:43Conan O'Brien?

  You know, and it was hilarious. And then he did the Dragnet movie with Tom Hanks and it was, he was fantastic at it.

• 46:48Speaker 02

  That was back when like the miscellaneous line item on a, like a production report is just like all cocaine. And then you guys spent eighty thousand dollars on miscellaneous in one night. What the fuck is that?

• 47:02Speaker 02

  That's always the thing. Dan also shows like a thing, a bit that Candy, that John Candy, you know, you saw, I think you saw in Planes, Trains, which is where you're seeing a performance. It's heartbreaking, funny, vulnerable, and all the things, all the reasons I have always been and will always be very much in love with Mr. John Candy. But Dan Aykroyd, if you've ever seen Gross Point Blank. Yeah. He gives the most unexpected villain performance I've ever seen. It wasn't over the time, it wasn't over the time, it was just grounded and weird and it's infinitely watchable. When I finally tracked him down, because he's elusive, I said I owe money because I've stolen

• 47:42Speaker 02

  so much from him that I believe I owe forty-one million dollars. Don't put that on paper. No, not at all. Because he'll take it. I heard him jot it down, though.

• 47:55Speaker 02

  But no, he's just a real gentleman, too. Like, really, you know, just made a good stuff. And he sells a tequila that comes in a skull.

• 48:01Speaker 06

  It's vodka.

• 48:02Speaker 02

  Vodka.

• 48:02Speaker 06

  Crystal skull vodka.

• 48:03Speaker 02

  Crystal skull.

• 48:03Speaker 06

  He's really into actual crystal skulls, right, and aliens and things?

• 48:06Speaker 02

  And UFOs and aliens. Yeah.

• 48:08Speaker 06

  Did you try any of them?

• 48:10Speaker 02

  Did I try? I think I've tried everything that exists at some point, you know? Tried it twice, right? Yeah. Clay colored stool. Yeah. Don't have to go back there. You can smoke it. We don't have to go back there. But don't smoke the lorazepam, because I also have another PSA for that, and you don't, you don't want those side effects. Oh, my God. Or baby formula. Don't smoke baby formula.

• 48:34Speaker 02

  Are we gonna list things you shouldn't smoke now? Yes, most of them, when you smoke, you don't know you're peeing anymore for the rest of your life.

• 48:41Speaker 02

  Just like your life, oh, it's warm.

• 48:44Speaker 02

  It's warm and comforting all of a sudden. But now? Like the womb. A little stingy, a little cold. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Yeah, but I, yeah, I didn't, I was never big on all of that anyway. Yeah, me neither. Probably why I'm like, as I come down a real, real heavy case of ALIVE. Yeah.

• 49:00Speaker 02

  Yeah. I've always wanted to do a non-alc. Commercial for like one of those, you know, I wrote one. I haven't figured out how to end it all yet, but like where people do the same things drunk people do, except on their non-alcoholic beverage.

• 49:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 49:14Speaker 02

  A choice where they're like, you know, the next, the next morning, they're like, you know, there's a woman who's like, I went out with Gail and the girls the other night. And I don't drink, but I had a one night stand. With this guy. And then the camera just shifts over to him and he's like, and let me tell you something. I don't drink either and I felt everything. And she's like, I was awakened and basically says, you know, we got crazy in the middle of the night and we just decided, fuck it, let's have a baby. And we just met, I didn't know his last name. And, and basically experiences that each people, each person has that you would not like the groom at, or the, sorry, the best man at a wedding, you know, gives a speech that's just fucking profound.

• 49:55Speaker 02

  You know, and it's not like just the letter L for five straight minutes and then like an anecdote about himself, you know, just nails it. Toe pick, everything. So I've always wanted, I've always wished that's like that, it was like the angle. That's the angle that would be fun with it.

• 50:10Conan O'Brien?

  It could have been in advertising. You missed, you missed out.

• 50:13Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 50:13Conan O'Brien?

  Because I can tell when you do your, whether it's Mint Mobile, and I'll give you guys a plug. I think it's a fine service.

• 50:18Speaker 02

  That's okay. Yeah, I can, it is a fine service. It's very good.

• 50:20Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, your ads are very funny and I, I get the impression that you are behind them or steering them because you have that kind of brain. You like to say this is a commercial, but also call out that it's a commercial you love.

• 50:34Speaker 02

  They know they're being, I mean, consumers know they're being marketed to.

• 50:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 50:37Speaker 02

  So don't do, you know, it's not a very special episode of Dharma and Greg. It's a fucking, you know, it's a fucking tie stick commercial, you know?

• 50:45Speaker 02

  But it's, well, it's, I, you know why I like them and it's sort of, it's not just me. Certainly I have a, like a, I have some of the greatest, smartest people that quite frankly, I find threatening, um, who are, I get to work with. I mean, Sean Levy, who I've done three movies with now, um, you know, it's like a brain trust and like a, there's a real, I mean, every movies that you sort of quote, control are like, that you're not controlling it, they just trust you. You know, you said like, hey, I'm gonna land the plane. You know, I remember trying to, trying to get the, my Deadpool and Wolverine movie made and like just focused on that. I was like, I will return your investment. Like I will return your, I got you. Like I am not a reckless, you know, pilot. I am, I will land the fucking plane on a dime. It will be a four quadrant. R-rated film.

• 51:30Speaker 02

  I'm gonna make Disney's first four quarter R-rated film. And this is after they said no to 18 different things, including a movie where Deadpool is after the hunter who killed Bambi's mom.

• 51:42Speaker 02

  They said, "We don't touch Bambi." And I said, "You said you don't touch Mickey Mouse. We don't touch Bambi and we don't touch Mickey Mouse."

• 51:47Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? Given the profits and what you've shown, I think you can do it now.

• 51:52Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, we did. And I, we, yeah, it's like, but that's a part of our responsibility too, as people that produce the movie and we go write the movie and we're back to all those things. It's like making sure it like works. Cause I've done movies that are, you know, small films that, you know, are in Sundance and all that stuff, and I loved making them. And they were hard to make and, you know, they would get great reviews and everything, but then it would just, you'd find out later it just bankrupted whatever little tiny studio made it. And I thought, "I'm gonna be out of work. They are getting out of work. I gotta find a, I gotta find a job that fits." So it, it's a win-win, you know, if I wanna do it for the rest of my life, I'm gonna have to figure that out. And then it grew to all of it, like all the other thing. I love, I loved commercials when I was a kid. Like if you saw a good commercial, it stayed with you.

• 52:37Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 52:37Speaker 02

  You know, and I, and I was one of those kids like you probably were, where you were sitting there two inches from the TV and just trying to stay up as late as humanly possible.

• 52:45Conan O'Brien?

  Being irradiated, cause TVs back then ran on plutonium.

• 52:47Speaker 02

  Oh my god, right?

• 52:48Conan O'Brien?

  And my face was melting.

• 52:49Speaker 02

  He's 22.

• 52:53Conan O'Brien?

  Scarred for life.

• 52:54Speaker 02

  Oh god, yeah. Oh my god, yeah, no, it's just...

• 52:57Conan O'Brien?

  We sometimes turn off the lights in the studio and I'm a grinning skull.

• 53:01Speaker 02

  The teeth biting, it's gotta stop.

• 53:10Speaker 02

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 53:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 53:13Speaker 02

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years?

• 53:24Conan O'Brien?

  You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 53:27Speaker 03

  Nice.

• 53:28Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 53:36Speaker 03

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 53:41Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5 N, which I love.

• 53:45Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 53:45Conan O'Brien?

  Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 54:00Speaker 03

  Hello.

• 54:01Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I have this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 54:36Conan O'Brien?

  We all have those pieces in our closet we can count on. Sona, I imagine for you it's that leather jacket I got you.

• 54:41Speaker 03

  Are you gonna do a bit?

• 54:43Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, it's a really nice leather jacket I got you once.

• 54:44Speaker 03

  I had that and then I replaced it and yes, I use it all the time.

• 54:48Conan O'Brien?

  We all have that versatile jacket, the perfect T-shirt, and those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy. And you know what I was thinking about this morning?

• 54:57Speaker 03

  What?

• 54:58Conan O'Brien?

  Quince. They do it best. They really do. I was really thinking about this.

• 55:01Speaker 03

  What a coincidence that we're doing an ad for them.

• 55:03Conan O'Brien?

  No, a co-coincidence.

• 55:05Speaker 03

  Oh, no.

• 55:07Conan O'Brien?

  That's why I get the big money.

• 55:09Speaker 03

  I gotta go.

• 55:09Conan O'Brien?

  Cut to very small amount of money. Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials and designs that are timeless, thoughtful, crafted, and made to be worn again and again. And when the temperature starts to drop, Quince makes it easy to build on those everyday staples. First of all, layers. Layer up. Lou. Now, Blay, you're using some Quince. That's right. I'm spending a lot of time back east in Michigan. It's getting a little colder, so I got a featherless quilted jacket, an Atlas Navy, and I just feel like a different guy. I feel classy. You look like a different guy, because you're well-dressed. That's right. Oh. No, I'm serious. He looks like a hobo half the time. That's true. He's right. That's true. No, they really do great stuff. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers

• 55:52Conan O'Brien?

  or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK as well. All right. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Please do that. Say, "By the way, I heard about this on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend." Oh, I didn't really ask. I just want you to know. It's the best way to support the show.

• 56:20Conan O'Brien?

  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp therapists can help you figure out what rules or traditions aren't serving you and how to rewrite them. And with insurance, many members pay $15 or less. Some pay $0. BetterHelp, they do a great job. You're in good hands. BetterHelp therapists are fully licensed in the United States with at least three years and 1,000 hours of hands-on experience. When it comes to matching with a therapist, BetterHelp does the initial work for you. Just take a short questionnaire to help identify your needs. And if you're not happy with your match, this is the best part. A lot of people think, "Oh, my God, this is the person I've signed up with. I need to make this work." That's not the case. If it's not a good match, you switch to a different therapist at any time

• 57:03Conan O'Brien?

  from BetterHelp's tailored recommendations. BetterHelp is now in network with more than 125 health plans, with many copays as low as $15 for eligible members. And if you don't have eligible insurance or live outside the US, you can still get 20% off your first month. Sign up and get 20% off at betterhelp.com/conan. That's better, H-E-L-P dot com slash Conan.

• 57:31Speaker 02

  Really, the biggest change for me was Green Lantern, because it was, you know, it didn't work. And it was, I watched a studio throw money at problem, at the problem after problem after problem, instead of create, like, you know, constraint is the greatest creative tool in the world. And that's why I like commercials, because there's an economy to them. You have to make them quick. You have to be not precious about them. You know, it's a fucking commercial. Who cares? It doesn't have to be a Fellini film. It'll either work, or it doesn't, or it moves at a speed of culture. So it's at least relevant. Like, it's an easier way to kind of fix it, you know? But that movie was where I changed my life, because I just saw money.

• 58:08Conan O'Brien?

  You saw this is going down, or this isn't, I don't think this is coming together, and they're just throwing more millions at it.

• 58:14Speaker 02

  Yeah. And it was really like, that's hard for everyone, because it's, you're too much money, too much time will murder creativity. Like, if you have to, if you're under constraint, like, the next movie I did was Deadpool, which had a $56 million budget, I believe, which is nothing. Like, I think they probably spent $250 on Green Lantern, and this one had nothing. So you had to supplant or change all of these action spectacle set pieces into movies that, like, you remember the dialogue, not the thing. Because audiences also are anured to special effects. Like, if you, "The World in Danger", I was like, I loved that the character was like, "I don't give a shit about the world." Like, I care about those people.

• 58:52Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 58:53Speaker 02

  And no one else, really.

• 58:54Conan O'Brien?

  I've been saying this, I've been saying this for years. I refuse to see a movie. At a certain point, I declared, "I will not see a movie that has a portal." If a portal opens-

• 59:02Speaker 05

  Oh, God, the portal thing.

• 59:03Speaker 02

  We did use the portal.

• 59:04Conan O'Brien?

  I know.

• 59:05Speaker 02

  But we did call it the Marvel Sparkle Circle.

• 59:08Conan O'Brien?

  Yes. You had fun with it and made fun of it. There are so many movies where, clearly, they don't know what to do. So what they have is, six people put the nine stones together, and then the sky opens, and anything can come out, and it doesn't have to make sense.

• 59:26Speaker 02

  I love that this is your cause, because most people are like, "Oh, politics and kids these days." And you're like, "Oh, your horse."

• 59:31Conan O'Brien?

  Portals, portals, portals! Portal! I saw another portal today. Yeah.

• 59:36Speaker 02

  You speak "get off my lawn", it's "get out of my portal."

• 59:38Conan O'Brien?

  A dragon made of fire and lava came out of the sky and punched Captain America, who's a strong man.

• 59:46Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 59:47Conan O'Brien?

  And he fell down, but then got up and punched the dragon, and it went flying.

• 59:51Speaker 02

  Preach, sister.

• 59:53Conan O'Brien?

  I'm sorry! I know that there's people think there's problems with- Racial inequality. Oh, boy. Gender inequality. Of course. There's a poverty, uh, poverty in the world.

• 1:00:04Speaker 02

  Don't even get us started on tariffs.

• 1:00:06Conan O'Brien?

  But all of that can be fixed by portals if you'll just allow it. No, a dragon will come in and smash it all. Bullshit.

• 1:00:13Speaker 02

  I watch, I love the, the use of it because you could say anything in the Deadpool movies. We just, you know, I loved watching, I loved watching Kevin Feige watch the thing back. Got together where Deadpool's like, he's like, you know, listen, we don't have to do this. You know, there's a big fight about to happen and they're like, no, we're gonna fuck you up. Or whatever the line is and, and he says, no, I'm not, I mean, the multiverse.

• 1:00:36Speaker 02

  It's just, it's not, it's not working. It's not great. It's just been miss after miss after miss. It's been two Ant-Mans forward and one Black Adam back.

• 1:00:50Speaker 02

  And it's not working. And, and you know, Kevin wince on each miss after miss.

• 1:00:59Conan O'Brien?

  So funny.

• 1:01:00Speaker 02

  And, and yeah, but then what a sport, like he was like that.

• 1:01:03Conan O'Brien?

  But you make a really good point, which is that I do find that that's what's missing is a good movie gives you a couple of people and you, if they're doing it right, you really care about them. I know it sounds corny, but I was watching The Third Man, Orson Welles.

• 1:01:17Speaker 02

  Oh, Vienna.

• 1:01:18Conan O'Brien?

  Vienna, and I'm, I watched that a couple nights ago and god, they had me caring about these three people in Vienna in 1948. And I think the movie cost $11. But, oh my god, it's fantastic. And I do think that CGI had people thinking, oh, we don't need that so much as, as long as, because people really care that that portal gets closed.

• 1:01:44Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:01:44Conan O'Brien?

  And you're like, I'm not sure they do. They don't really care if the portal gets closed, but I'm sorry. You're back on the portal.

• 1:01:51Speaker 02

  I know, I knew we were going back there. You can feel the gravity.

• 1:01:55Conan O'Brien?

  The scene that we've seen so many times where one character is on one side of the glass.

• 1:02:01Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:02:02Conan O'Brien?

  And there's the radiation and it's you, it's Deadpool.

• 1:02:05Speaker 02

  I spocked him.

• 1:02:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, Deadpool Wolverine and it's the parody of that scene and, and one of the things that in a weird way I got suckered into caring. I was, I was caring about the people in the scene and then you start fucking around and.

• 1:02:20Speaker 02

  Once, we did, I did it just to make Hugh laugh and I swear to God, there's one, it's actually, we had to realign my head a couple of times because of the going down the stairs.

• 1:02:28Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 1:02:29Speaker 02

  Didn't work quite well. So we were like rejiggering it, trying to get it up, but I just did it to make you laugh. Cause there he is, shirtless, hasn't had a carb since the eighties. He's like, oh my God, like, you know, can we just get through this scene so I can have a bagel? And, um, you know, I am fucking around. It's just terrible. You're a horrible friend. Um, yeah.

• 1:02:49Conan O'Brien?

  You know what's so sad? The first time he said it, I thought he said to make you laugh.

• 1:02:53Speaker 02

  I thought so too.

• 1:02:53Conan O'Brien?

  And I thought he was saying, Conan, I put that in just for you. And then I realized, no, he means Hugh Jackman.

• 1:02:59Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:00Conan O'Brien?

  And I suddenly lost interest in you as a person.

• 1:03:02Speaker 02

  Well, I actually had the same problem with the Whitney Houston song, oh, the Dolly Parton song, but I always thought it was Hugh. I always, always loved Hugh. And then I was like, wait, you?

• 1:03:11Conan O'Brien?

  No, she meant it. She wrote it about Hugh Hefner.

• 1:03:14Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:03:14Conan O'Brien?

  Which is weird because it's, yes, it's very sexist.

• 1:03:18Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:03:19Conan O'Brien?

  She likes that he's commodified women's sensuality. I don't know. It's a terrible.

• 1:03:23Speaker 02

  Commodified, that word's come up three times today.

• 1:03:25Conan O'Brien?

  It has?

• 1:03:26Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah. I was sitting next to someone who said commodified and I was like, I think you mean commodified. And he's smart as shit. I was like, I, but I, so I felt the power in that moment, right? I was like, oh, I have something over you right now, don't I?

• 1:03:37Conan O'Brien?

  No, I knew what I was doing because I've trademarked commodify.

• 1:03:41Speaker 02

  Oh.

• 1:03:42Conan O'Brien?

  I got you to say it.

• 1:03:43Speaker 02

  You and McElhenney, because it was McElhenney. Robert, Robert Copernicus.

• 1:03:48Conan O'Brien?

  McElhenney was walking around here earlier. You guys were working on something in our, I.

• 1:03:53Speaker 02

  We often use your office, yeah.

• 1:03:55Conan O'Brien?

  You, I let you use my office to shoot a major film. Um, no, one of your, I think for your Wrexham project, you guys were shooting something. And I said, yes, yes, of course, mi casa su casa, um, which I believe is, I think that's Spanish, I think.

• 1:04:09Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, that's German.

• 1:04:11Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, it's German. I guess, mein casa.

• 1:04:12Speaker 02

  Mein casa, yeah.

• 1:04:13Conan O'Brien?

  As su casa, but it's angrier. Uh. Anyway, I saw you when I first walked in. I see you and I see McElhenney and I give you a hug and it's like, this is a, this is, Ryan Reynolds is, takes good care of himself, works out. I hug you and I'm like, well, this is an impressive lad.

• 1:04:30Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:04:30Conan O'Brien?

  And then I turn to McElhenney, I hug him. That guy is-

• 1:04:35Speaker 02

  Yes, I know.

• 1:04:36Conan O'Brien?

  Alabaster.

• 1:04:37Speaker 02

  Yes, no, hard as a rock.

• 1:04:38Conan O'Brien?

  Hard as a rock.

• 1:04:39Speaker 02

  Hard as a rock right now. He is, um-

• 1:04:42Conan O'Brien?

  Just describing it, you're hard as a rock.

• 1:04:43Speaker 02

  Like, 100%.

• 1:04:44Conan O'Brien?

  McElhenney's, I saw him without his shirt, how you feeling now there?

• 1:04:47Speaker 02

  You guys were expertly lit and in slow motion in my mind. When I saw you guys coming together. No, no, McElhenney, don't, don't, uh, don't sleep on that body. Well, sleep on it if you can. Uh, happily married though, so don't try it. Uh, but he's, uh, you know, he's a rock. He's a beast.

• 1:05:01Conan O'Brien?

  Incredible.

• 1:05:02Speaker 02

  So, yeah, Rob, I, uh, I treat with respect.

• 1:05:05Conan O'Brien?

  You're better.

• 1:05:05Speaker 02

  With kindness.

• 1:05:06Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:07Speaker 02

  Uh, occasional condescension and that's about it. Yeah, mostly just those things. But he did say commodified, he was, uh, not great.

• 1:05:14Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, he fucked up, not me.

• 1:05:15Speaker 02

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:05:16Conan O'Brien?

  I wouldn't do that.

• 1:05:17Speaker 02

  Just finished a, like, two years of, in the guts of something, you know, with, um, I always think of film, and they say filmmakers, like, Sean Levy is more like a brother. We say, we just love each other, three movies together, we're gonna do a fourth one at some point. But, um, that, like, filmmaker word is not broad enough though, because like, it's so, when movies work, you guys talked about this on one of those shows. I think it was like Adam Scott. The, how like, uh, they're hard to make, a movie, a movie's hard to make, right?

• 1:05:44Conan O'Brien?

  It's impossible.

• 1:05:45Speaker 02

  Yeah, like, everyone has to be excellent, like, really, and care. People sort of underestimate how valuable caring is. And, you know, when you work with a props department or a production designer who in his cells wants to make the best possible. Our Deadpool and Wolverine, Ray Chan, he passed away unfortunately on our last fucking day of shooting too. It was really sad, but, um, it was one of those things where- In post, we got to put Easter eggs of him everywhere in the movie. But that movie would never have done what it did or connected with people the way it did without this guy. And I consider a production designer a filmmaker. Sometimes a costumer's a filmmaker, sometimes it's a, you know, cinematographer. It's just, these are, it's a vat, more vast a pool than I-

• 1:06:26Speaker 02

  People realize, you know, there's a lot like it's part of why it changed my trajectory. When I was at the right time was that, you know, you do a movie and you're working with people who if there's one person in charge and that is it. My way or the highway, you get everyone into a yes, sir, no, sir. You know, like when I pitch a joke, I'm always like, okay, here's the shittiest version possible, but and what I'm actually doing is inviting dissent. I want you to disagree, like disagree with me because then then we're going to have fun. It's gonna get better.

• 1:06:54Conan O'Brien?

  Right.

• 1:06:54Speaker 02

  And you may have an idea that it's amazing that you suppressed because I'm like, this is the way. But it's that pool always has to be expansive and and then you make great stuff. And then it's why movies are like, you know, I was so happy you were hosting the Oscars because like you. I think you've now and have always understood the joy of a of collective effervescence. It's why you work in front of a live audience a lot too, which is why, you know, some.

• 1:07:21Conan O'Brien?

  You make things with people, which is always the the the magic is we, this is a group of us. If you have a good audience, you can make them part of it. I like, I think it's coming from a family.

• 1:07:33Speaker 02

  Yeah.

• 1:07:33Conan O'Brien?

  I like to do things with people.

• 1:07:35Speaker 02

  That's another example of why I love this man and and now.

• 1:07:39Conan O'Brien?

  You gotta say my name because they might be confused.

• 1:07:41Speaker 02

  Oh, he's pointing to me. No, Gail. Cone cone, has anyone ever gone cone cone?

• 1:07:47Conan O'Brien?

  They've never gone cone cone.

• 1:07:48Speaker 02

  Let's not do that. The the the the the reason I love you is that you you don't you don't punch down. Like it's not your vibe and it's a good.

• 1:07:57Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, no, I would very much like to be the joke.

• 1:07:59Speaker 02

  Targets. Yes, me too. Like I I've done it. I did it once in in in my life and I deeply, deeply regretted it. And I it was 22 years ago and it was such a lesson they'll never forget.

• 1:08:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:08:11Speaker 02

  So someone late night, but it was a little bit like when the just a comedian or the guy with the microphone starts picking on someone. You're just like, they don't have a microphone as well. It's not fair, you know, and it's and it just that land that that was left a mark that I'll never ever.

• 1:08:26Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, you can't.

• 1:08:27Speaker 02

  Forget.

• 1:08:27Conan O'Brien?

  Think you've really hurt someone's feelings. You ca- it, as crazy as it sounds, and you're in comedy, if you really think you've hurt someone's feelings, um, unless it's Mussolini or Stalin.

• 1:08:40Speaker 02

  Oh, fuck, how did you know?

• 1:08:44Conan O'Brien?

  You, George told you. Like, I can't sleep, you know, you wake up and you're just, you know.

• 1:08:48Speaker 02

  Wide away, it was, yeah, and the person, it gets worse. I, um, I wrote a long note to the person afterwards and I said, I don't know why that came out of their mouth. And it was because I'd seen them, like, the couple of days before.

• 1:08:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, yeah.

• 1:08:59Speaker 02

  Um, near the apartment I was renting in Santa Monica, this is so long ago. And I sent, I wrote a long letter to him, sent him a case of champagne. I don't know, I was young, no one drinks champagne, right? I don't know. Uh, and, uh, uh, later I read a story about his wife saying that he fell off the wagon back in June and I think.

• 1:09:18Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, no!

• 1:09:19Speaker 02

  Yeah, no, it was, I didn't, I had no idea, this was before, you don't just Google someone. Like, I didn't know.

• 1:09:25Conan O'Brien?

  So you mocked him and then your apology was to send him the substance.

• 1:09:29Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:09:30Conan O'Brien?

  That he had successfully kicked.

• 1:09:31Speaker 02

  Fuck me, like, I really, and then, so that's where I got the lesson to never apologize.

• 1:09:36Conan O'Brien?

  Never. And if you're listening right now.

• 1:09:39Speaker 02

  Ground.

• 1:09:40Conan O'Brien?

  Don't apologize.

• 1:09:41Speaker 02

  Um, yeah, no, no, I, he's fine and wonderful and, and may I say thriving, uh, but yeah.

• 1:09:47Conan O'Brien?

  I will tell you that I have had the same thing, just like twice in my career where I said something, it just slipped out of my mouth, I'm doing a volume business. It got back to me that the person's feelings were hurt and it felt like I had been shot. And I wrote a letter and sent it to them, like, I'm so sorry that you, you know, yeah.

• 1:10:05Speaker 02

  I mean, as parents, you see, I mean, no, my, my, like, and I do that all the time with the kids. If you like, I, if you get down, kneel down at their level and say, hey, when we, last night, when you wouldn't, you know, go to bed and you did all the, uh, the, sorry, street art on the wall.

• 1:10:21Speaker 02

  I could have handled that better and I wasn't great. I wasn't good at dadding and, and, and I'll even do the do-over, I'm like, can I try? Can you make some more street art, fuck?

• 1:10:34Speaker 02

  But on the paper, and I will come in and I'll do it again better.

• 1:10:38Conan O'Brien?

  I love that you're asking for a retake.

• 1:10:40Speaker 02

  Yeah, basically that is what I'm doing. I'm imposing.

• 1:10:43Conan O'Brien?

  Let's go again.

• 1:10:43Speaker 02

  Who doesn't want a child actor?

• 1:10:45Conan O'Brien?

  You sociopathic monster.

• 1:10:46Speaker 02

  Let's skip, let's skip showbiz and just enroll you straight into cocaine. Right here? And then go into showbiz with all your injuries, emotional injuries, yeah.

• 1:10:56Conan O'Brien?

  We have to wrap this up because we've kept you for too long and you're a man in demand. Ryan, you are one of my favorites. I say that at the end of every podcast.

• 1:11:06Speaker 02

  I know. I know, but I'm still gonna react.

• 1:11:08Conan O'Brien?

  Sometimes I'm talking to absolute criminals in jail. And I say you're one of my favorite people. And I believe you're innocent of those 19 murders.

• 1:11:15Speaker 02

  Yes.

• 1:11:15Conan O'Brien?

  Which you would confess to.

• 1:11:16Speaker 02

  Jay Leno felt.

• 1:11:20Speaker 02

  We were all looking for the Hampton Inn.

• 1:11:22Conan O'Brien?

  You pushed him down that hill.

• 1:11:24Speaker 02

  Who doesn't look for a Hampton Inn?

• 1:11:26Conan O'Brien?

  Ryan, you are, you are so fast. You're so fast and so funny and making so many people happy. And I'm thrilled that we could spend time today and hang out.

• 1:11:38Speaker 02

  I've never seen four hours go by as fast as it just did. No, I'm serious. This is one of those things where you, when I could tell in your voice, it's time to wrap it up. And I got genuinely sad. Because I, you know, you are an idol of mine. You are somebody who I've watched and dare I say, at the risk of over praising, look up to. And always have, always will, because you're kind, you have integrity. And you can, that doesn't mean it costs you subversive comedy or any of those things. All that edge is there and it is a high bar you set, you always have. And, and that's, that's, that's why I did the Jay Leno thing. I just, I.

• 1:12:16Speaker 02

  I fucking snapped.

• 1:12:18Conan O'Brien?

  I, I don't know what you're talking about. Forget everything before 2010. It's all gone.

• 1:12:23Speaker 02

  But you didn't forget my wire numbers.

• 1:12:28Speaker 02

  Ooh, Cayman Islands.

• 1:12:31Conan O'Brien?

  Ryan, thank you so much and God bless. I bless you and I am a god, so God bless you.

• 1:12:38Speaker 02

  I know you are. I know you are a deity. Deus? What is that? Isn't that what they call it?

• 1:12:41Conan O'Brien?

  No, Deus is the thing you stand behind when you talk. Code-modified. Well, hey, at least we stopped the landing going out. That's the important thing.

• 1:12:48Speaker 02

  Also, we talked about a lot of Canadians. Thank you for that.

• 1:12:50Conan O'Brien?

  I'm saying, and there's a huge trade imbalance here.

• 1:12:53Speaker 02

  Mm-hmm. Yeah, we're gonna work on that. We're gonna have a caucus. Is that what we say? We caucus on it?

• 1:12:57Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, don't do that.

• 1:12:58Speaker 02

  Legislative branches. Your worship in Canada, that's a fun one. You have to say your worship to the judge.

• 1:13:03Speaker 05

  Do you have the little honor of Canada yet? Have you had that?

• 1:13:06Speaker 02

  I have it, yeah. You know who one of the people I think wrote the letter was? Lauren.

• 1:13:10Speaker 05

  That's nice.

• 1:13:11Speaker 02

  He's a nice man. I think. He won't admit to it.

• 1:13:14Conan O'Brien?

  All right, sir.

• 1:13:14Speaker 02

  Thank you.

• 1:13:15Conan O'Brien?

  Go with...

• 1:13:15Speaker 02

  Thank you, guys. Thank you all.

• 1:13:17Conan O'Brien?

  Go with blessings.

• 1:13:20Speaker 06

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 1:13:41Speaker 06

  Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

• 1:14:30Speaker 07

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• 1:14:49Speaker 08

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• 1:14:50Speaker 07

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