Pod Insights Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend Limp Paddle With Special Guest D’Arcy Carden About this episode Conan and special guest D’Arcy Carden talk to Derek from Mountain View, CA about working as a commissioner for the San Francisco Pinball Department.
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Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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1:30 Speaker 01 Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Wanna talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.
1:39 Conan O'Brien? Hello, folks.
1:40 Speaker 01 Hi, Derek. Welcome to Conan Needs a Fan with special guest Darcy Cardin.
1:45 Conan O'Brien? Yay, Darcy! Derek, how are you? I'm doing well. Good to see you.
1:50 Speaker 02 Okay, so you can see us.
1:51 Conan O'Brien? You can see us and we can see you. Oh, yeah. That's what I was waiting for. Derek, where are you calling from? I'm in Mountain View, California. Very nice.
2:02 Speaker 02 I've been there.
2:02 Conan O'Brien? Have you been to Mountain View?
2:04 Speaker 02 That's, is that where Shoreline is? Shoreline Amphitheater?
2:06 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, Shoreline Amphitheater. There's a theater there, so you know things by theater.
2:09 Speaker 02 Yes, yes, yes. Well, I saw, I saw Lollapalooza there when I was like in junior high. At the Shoreline.
2:15 Conan O'Brien? I'm confirming this right now. Wait, Lollapalooza?
2:17 Speaker 02 Yeah, in like 90 freaking something.
2:20 Conan O'Brien? Oh, okay.
2:21 Speaker 02 At the Shoreline, yeah.
2:22 Conan O'Brien? Okay.
2:23 Speaker 02 He's kinda saying like, oh, she's wrong, but I'm right. No, no. Interesting, but I'm right.
2:28 Speaker 03 I, I, I thought, I thought that was a Chicago show, but maybe, maybe that, maybe I,
2:32 Speaker 02 It, it, it used to travel, yeah. No, but we got off on the wrong.
2:34 Conan O'Brien? No, that's great.
2:35 Speaker 03 No, that's wonderful.
2:36 Conan O'Brien? Darcy, normally I would say, no, no, no, Darcy, I would say that pretty much anything anyone adds is valuable. Um, this has been a diarrhea cul-de-sac, absolute diarrhea.
2:50 Speaker 02 That's what I do.
2:54 Speaker 03 It was, it was perfect.
2:55 Speaker 02 Okay, good.
2:56 Speaker 03 No notes, no notes.
2:56 Speaker 02 Great, great, great.
2:57 Conan O'Brien? There are no mistakes.
2:58 Speaker 02 Great.
2:58 Conan O'Brien? Um, except that one. Derek, uh, I understand that you're somehow related to the world of pinball, but I don't know in what way.
3:07 Speaker 03 Yes, well, I, I, I want to talk about that. One quick thing I wanted to say is not only am I connected to the pinball, but I am also connected to you in ways that I think, I would just like to lay it out there, my case that, of course, I am a fan, but in some universe, I probably could be a friend at some point.
3:21 Conan O'Brien? Oh, really?
3:22 Speaker 03 And I have three connections in particular. I just wanted to highlight real quick.
3:25 Conan O'Brien? Okay.
3:25 Speaker 03 So today I was listening to your latest, or one of your latest, The Judd Apatow Returns. Judd Apatow, longtime collaborator, his is Amanda Glaze, went to high school with me. So that's one.
3:34 Conan O'Brien? Okay.
3:35 Speaker 02 Okay, that's one.
3:36 Speaker 03 The second, I am very good friends with Randy and Jason Sklar, two times shown on your show, 2011, 2022, or I'm sorry, 2020.
3:44 Conan O'Brien? Okay.
3:44 Speaker 03 And then the third.
3:45 Conan O'Brien? Can I say something? Number three better be really good.
3:48 Speaker 03 Really, really good.
3:49 Conan O'Brien? I'm just being honest with you.
3:50 Speaker 02 Okay.
3:50 Speaker 03 Yes, you know, last one.
3:51 Conan O'Brien? You want to say the toffee bar, I'm holding a chocolate bar that sometimes is mixed with toffee.
3:56 Speaker 03 Okay, this, this one I do think is.
3:58 Conan O'Brien? I mean, it's gotta be good. The pressure's really on.
3:59 Speaker 03 I think, I think it's pretty good. I think it's pretty good. Well, you, and you can rate it however you see fit.
4:03 Conan O'Brien? Sure.
4:04 Speaker 03 But in 2007, my wife, uh, roomed with Kesha, your friend, at Columbia University for a summer program where my wife's instructor, her professor for that program, was Liza.
4:16 Speaker 02 Oh, okay, that's it. He got there, he got there.
4:19 Conan O'Brien? Home run, you got that. Listen.
4:20 Speaker 03 I'm telling you.
4:20 Conan O'Brien? You got, you could. Listen, uh, Kesha, very strong, because I love Kesha. Kesha and I are, she's my spirit animal.
4:28 Speaker 02 And we're talking the singer Kesha?
4:30 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
4:30 Speaker 02 She's amazing.
4:31 Speaker 03 Yes, oh, yeah.
4:31 Speaker 02 Great.
4:31 Conan O'Brien? No, Kesha's my spirit animal and we're good pals and, uh, I'm, I, I live and breathe all things Kesha. So that was very strong, but then when you pull out that her professor was. My wife.
4:45 Speaker 02 That's.
4:45 Conan O'Brien? That's nuts. And I remember that summer, Liza was pregnant that summer.
4:51 Speaker 03 Yeah.
4:51 Speaker 02 With me?
4:52 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, with you. With Darcy. With Darcy.
4:55 Speaker 02 I'm your little baby.
4:55 Speaker 03 Right, right.
4:56 Conan O'Brien? And you came out and you went, "Gaga, goo goo", and then winked right to camera.
5:01 Conan O'Brien? And you were 20. It was just really weird.
5:04 Speaker 02 And you were like, "I don't want her. I don't want her."
5:06 Conan O'Brien? I was like, "This is the kid for me." Well, that's amazing. That's very cool.
5:10 Speaker 02 That was really good.
5:11 Conan O'Brien? And Derek?
5:12 Speaker 03 No, I.
5:13 Conan O'Brien? I'm gonna get us to pinball because someone told me a little bird. Beep, beep, beep.
5:18 Speaker 02 That's what a bird says.
5:20 Speaker 03 Beep?
5:21 Speaker 02 Beep, beep, beep.
5:22 Conan O'Brien? It's a robot bird.
5:23 Speaker 02 Oh, you should've said that then.
5:25 Conan O'Brien? Um, I think with, with Darcy here, we aren't gonna get to anything with you, Derek. No, no, I love it. I absolut- this is great.
5:32 Speaker 03 Yes.
5:33 Conan O'Brien? Beep, beep. I'm a bird.
5:35 Speaker 02 I'm half a walrus.
5:40 Conan O'Brien? It's all broken. Derek, I don't care anymore what your shtick is. I just don't care.
5:46 Speaker 03 We're just, we're just here to have a nice conversation.
5:48 Conan O'Brien? Sure. So, uh, pinball, anything? Ring a bell?
5:51 Speaker 03 Oh, yes. So, yeah, so pinball, yes. I, I'm happy to share about it, actually, because I have a lot to say about it. And so.
5:57 Conan O'Brien? I wouldn't think so. Not based on how this has gone so far. We'll get to pinball, but first, 95 things. The Slar Brothers, once last year on, on Broadway, they were on their way to get a sandwich, and you had just come from the Sandwich Islands. Go ahead.
6:14 Speaker 03 No, it was Mendocino Farms. Okay, be clear about it, okay?
6:17 Speaker 02 I like Derek.
6:19 Speaker 03 Uh, but no, it was, yeah, so pinball, yeah, it's, it's one of my, my, my great loves. So I, I figured I would just give you a little insight into sort of what the competitive pinball landscape kinda looks like.
6:28 Conan O'Brien? Well, you have an official title, do you not, in the world of pinball?
6:30 Speaker 03 I do, I do.
6:31 Conan O'Brien? What is that?
6:31 Speaker 03 I'm one of the commissioners of the San Francisco Pinball Department.
6:35 Speaker 02 Huge.
6:35 Speaker 03 It's SFPB.
6:36 Conan O'Brien? Wow, okay.
6:37 Speaker 03 So it's a little bit north of me, because I'm in Mountain View. San Francisco's about, you know, 38 miles north. Um, not to be exact, but the, uh, yeah, the pinball league, 100 people. We all compete at this lovely print shop that has 50 pinball machines in the front by the name Free Gold Watch. If you go to San Francisco in the Haight-Ashbury, please go check it out. It's one. Wonderful. But yeah, it's a it's a match play style of competition where you are randomly put into like, let's say if this was our group of four, you play five games over the course of the night. You get points based on how you finish each game. So we play the first game, Conan, you get the best score. Darcy, you get the second best score, seven, five, three, one. So you accumulate those points. There's a big finals at the end. And we actually have a former world champion in our league who won the the big enchilada back in 2013.
7:20 Conan O'Brien? Okay, Derek, I have some questions that must be answered immediately. One, how can one play pinball well? I mean, you're very limited because you just have these two flippers you can operate.
7:35 Speaker 03 And Right, well, sometimes more.
7:37 Conan O'Brien? Oh, okay, sometimes, okay. But still, how does one become, say, the pinball wizard? Such a supple wrist. A pinball wizard has to be a twist.
7:50 Speaker 03 Yes.
7:52 Speaker 02 What is the twist?
7:54 Conan O'Brien? I mean, because I know that that guy, even at his favorite table, he can beat my best. Anyway.
8:00 Speaker 02 I'm searching for the next lyric.
8:02 Conan O'Brien? When he was a cowboy, he once owned a vest.
8:04 Speaker 02 I don't think that was, okay.
8:06 Conan O'Brien? He thought that he was sick, so he had that special test. Listen, Derek, I don't think there's any time for you today.
8:12 Speaker 03 I'm sorry.
8:13 Conan O'Brien? No, no, I'm kidding. We're gonna get to this. How does one play pinball well? What would you tell me to do?
8:18 Speaker 03 Well, I think the biggest thing, I think that one of the biggest things that I tell people sort of, you know, to try to break down pinball into, I think what is a key element is patience. And I think one of the things that a lot of people do, you know, for most people, it is a very random thing, right? You play pinball, you put your money in, the ball goes, it kind of goes where it goes. You're sort of at the whim of physics.
8:39 Conan O'Brien? And I will say, I'll just cut in and say, I bash a lot. I'm a basher. So the ball gets near my flipper and I'm just bashing away. That is wrong. That's not what I should be doing, correct?
8:50 Speaker 03 Well, not necessarily. So, so, and this is something I also wanted to talk about is, you know, a lot of people think that you are not allowed, like that it's cheating to move the table, right? Not, not, not against the rules.
9:01 Conan O'Brien? You can do stuff to the table? I thought. Said tilt, tilt, and you were disqualified.
9:06 Speaker 03 So that's the natural consequence if you move it too much. So you gotta low, you gotta know the sort of cadence of the game in order to, you know, move it how you need to. Cause sometimes the ball's coming straight down the middle, you gotta do something.
9:18 Speaker 02 Right, there's nothing you can do, sometimes you get out of it.
9:19 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah.
9:20 Speaker 02 Yeah.
9:20 Speaker 03 Well, there's one thing you can do is you give that, give that game a good shake and then, and then you can make it happen.
9:25 Conan O'Brien? So if I shake it, it won't say tilt?
9:27 Speaker 03 You might, if you do it too hard.
9:28 Speaker 02 But you gotta know, this is part of being a professional.
9:31 Speaker 03 Yes, yes, you gotta, you gotta have like that, that finesse.
9:34 Speaker 02 Wow.
9:34 Speaker 03 Um, but yeah, but the patience element that I wanna, I wanted to mention was in terms of, you know, when the, when the ball comes to the flippers, I think it's very, and I'll, I'll demonstrate here.
9:42 Speaker 02 Most nerve wracking thing in my life.
9:44 Speaker 03 Is this part? Is that, as soon as it gets down there.
9:46 Conan O'Brien? Yep.
9:47 Speaker 03 You just start going crazy. You're just, you're just trying to get the ball right back up to the top, which is, you know, natural inclination. A lot of times, the, one of the key skills I think you wanna build is what's called the dead flip. And the dead flip is essentially you watch that ball, if you see that's coming to one of the flippers, you let it strike that flipper without flipping and let the natural carom of the ball go to the other flipper. And maybe even you hold that ball, then you can cradle it, you know, hold it in, in sort of stationary position or, um, you know, just at least get a slower shot off. So you can control your pace of play.
10:19 Conan O'Brien? So you cradle the ball?
10:20 Speaker 03 You can cradle the ball, yes.
10:21 Conan O'Brien? And then you, you hold it and then.
10:23 Speaker 02 And then you let it go, then you let, you cradle it and then you let it go.
10:25 Speaker 03 And you let it go.
10:26 Speaker 02 Dooh, flip.
10:27 Speaker 03 And then, yeah, you figure, you figure out that sweet spot on the flipper where you're gonna hit the ramp.
10:30 Conan O'Brien? You're in your fancy technical terms.
10:32 Speaker 02 Well, you kind of let it go, dooh, flip.
10:34 Conan O'Brien? And then, flip-a-loo.
10:36 Speaker 03 She's right on it.
10:36 Speaker 02 Yeah, but I, I think I do have that patience. I think, I think I could be a part of this.
10:40 Conan O'Brien? I.
10:41 Speaker 02 I'm gonna need you to have free gold watch.
10:43 Speaker 03 Yes, well, and there's plenty of great leagues in LA as well.
10:45 Conan O'Brien? And also, this is something I know about Darcy, just from previous conversations we've had, um, that she's from the Bay Area originally, so this would be a natural for you to go to this place, play this game, you have the patience, I'm. I'm not a patient man.
10:58 Speaker 02 Right, right, right.
10:59 Conan O'Brien? I'm just gonna say that I'm not a patient man.
11:01 Speaker 02 It's good to know that about you.
11:02 Conan O'Brien? And I'm a rough person. I bash things, I smash them like a gorilla.
11:05 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:06 Conan O'Brien? With a Samsonite suitcase in a ad in 1966. That's me. So...
11:11 Speaker 03 Wonderful.
11:11 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I, uh, that would be a problem, but I would be willing to manage Darcy if you quit everything you're doing in show business and went 24/7 hard on... I would, I would sponsor you.
11:24 Speaker 02 You would?
11:25 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
11:25 Speaker 02 Okay, I would.
11:26 Conan O'Brien? But no acting, no more of your success. You say goodbye to all that because this is the future now. There's no time for that.
11:34 Speaker 02 I honestly love it. I love, I love pinball.
11:37 Conan O'Brien? Good, that's an agreement.
11:37 Speaker 02 Okay, great. So I'll sign right here. Conan O'Brien.
11:42 Conan O'Brien? Oh no!
11:43 Speaker 02 She tricked me. You can insert it, yeah, yeah.
11:45 Conan O'Brien? So, so, um, this is fascinating. Uh, is there any cheating? Do people ever mess with the game? Have you ever caught someone who has infiltrated the game? Maybe tweaked it in a way that...
11:58 Speaker 02 Added another ball? Oh, I'm sorry, I said that like it's easy to do. It's not easy to do that. Yeah, it would be hard.
12:05 Conan O'Brien? I mean, that wasn't what I was thinking, but, but I wasn't getting that specific. But, sure, yeah.
12:11 Speaker 03 Well, there's definitely things, I'd say, I'd say in terms of, you know, I guess, conduct issues that you might encounter, you know, if, if our officials, who we have players who act as officials during the league nights and during the tournaments, um, if they see, you know, basically like bad behavior, like trying to distract players, sometimes like playing in a way that is meant to kind of like, you know, pull their eye line away, like kind of stand on their side.
12:34 Conan O'Brien? Oh, can I ask you a question? Is there trash talking? Is there trash talking?
12:37 Speaker 03 There is, there is, but I'd, I'd say, you know, you, you gotta, just like any, any area, you gotta know your audience, right? So I think, I think there's, probably most of the trash talk is between, you know, people who really are, are just playing hard and wanna have fun. Sometimes, yeah, if, if there is trash talk, the tournament directors have extraordinary discretion to give warnings or to just ban or exclude someone from a tournament if they think that they're just not conducive to the environment. So that's, that's...
13:05 Speaker 02 What would be an example of trash talk? Of like, like acceptable? You got a limp paddle! Right, right, right.
13:10 Conan O'Brien? But that's okay.
13:11 Speaker 02 Yeah, can you say you got a limp paddle? Your paddle's so limp!
13:13 Conan O'Brien? Can you say you got limp paddle?
13:15 Speaker 02 Do you ever say you got a limp paddle?
13:16 Speaker 03 That's a new one. I mean, I think you could bring a lot to the trash talk game with that.
13:20 Speaker 02 I'm pretty good at trash talking. But is it just like, is it probably no swearing, right? No F, no S, no B, no A?
13:27 Speaker 03 I would say even there.
13:28 Conan O'Brien? Good God, very good.
13:29 Speaker 03 I mean, W is fine.
13:31 Speaker 02 W is fine.
13:33 Speaker 03 But no, the, I'd say with that, there's actually a fair amount of tolerance. Or at least like, I've seen people who have like, really big reactions. And even then, you know, as long as it's genuine, sort of like, it's in the heat of passion. It's not really directed in sort of a really, sort of malicious way. I think that you might get a warning, just like, hey, just try to keep it cool, but you're not gonna get banned for that.
13:54 Conan O'Brien? Okay.
13:55 Speaker 03 And so, yeah, so I think, you know, there's levels to it, as with any sort of group activity that way. But in terms of the game, yeah. The adulteration of the game, I'd say is probably unlikely. There's, I mean, there's maybe, one thing that actually happens in a lot of the more high levels.
14:10 Conan O'Brien? When you say fixing the game, you mean it's hard to get in there and adjust the electronics?
14:12 Speaker 03 Oh, sure. Yes, yeah, like, or, yeah, like, you would have to, like, especially, you know, to your suggestion, in terms of adding balls or something like that, that would require you to remove the glass. Or unless you like drilled a hole in the side.
14:24 Conan O'Brien? No, but that's what I'm talking about. Someone coming in the night before, being lowered on ropes like Tom Cruise.
14:29 Speaker 03 Right.
14:29 Conan O'Brien? And then, you know, lifting the glass off with little suction cups, and then inserting another ball, and then maybe some other stuff in there, trimming a wire, doing this or that, that gives you the advantage.
14:39 Speaker 02 Yeah, but then also, the next person that uses, it's not your...
14:43 Conan O'Brien? It blows up after you.
14:44 Speaker 02 Oh, oh, oh, it self-destructs. Right, right, and then you win.
14:47 Conan O'Brien? You win, because no one else can play it.
14:56 Conan O'Brien? You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?
14:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, I love awards.
14:59 Conan O'Brien? Every now and then, in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.
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16:23 Speaker 01 What?
16:23 Conan O'Brien? I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm gonna try and make apple cider.
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16:27 Conan O'Brien? Every morning.
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17:49 Speaker 01 Oh.
17:53 Conan O'Brien? Now, Sona, clearly I'm a very important person to you.
17:55 Speaker 01 Yeah.
17:56 Conan O'Brien? Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.
17:57 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:58 Conan O'Brien? I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?
18:04 Speaker 01 A vase.
18:05 Conan O'Brien? No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.
18:08 Speaker 01 A jacket.
18:09 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.
18:11 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, that jacket, nice jacket.
18:12 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, so now you have to do it because you said you would.
18:13 Speaker 01 Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.
18:15 Conan O'Brien? Well, I know the holidays, I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.
18:27 Speaker 01 Okay.
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18:53 Conan O'Brien? Sona, you have to admit, the holidays, it's really about hanging with the people you love.
18:59 Speaker 01 Yeah.
18:59 Conan O'Brien? And getting to be yourself, not going to some stuffy holiday party where you need to conform to what the man wants you to think about the holidays.
19:08 Speaker 01 Yeah.
19:08 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, it's about being yourself. Turn your holiday time into Miller time by enjoying a Miller Lite in a place where you're free to enjoy yourself on a walk with a cousin. With a cousin, why are they getting all specific about?
19:19 Speaker 01 Because it's family.
19:20 Conan O'Brien? But what about a niece or a nephew?
19:22 Speaker 01 Yeah.
19:24 Conan O'Brien? Like a walk with an ex-wife. I don't know. I mean, they're just throwing, that's a weird, they just made a very specific choice.
19:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
19:31 Conan O'Brien? Now's the time for those unexpected holiday side guests and enjoy a great tasting light beer. 'Tis Miller time, as Dickens wrote. Miller Lite is brewed for taste, the taste you can depend on. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic more than 50 years later. I like to be with my bros, my chums, my posse, crack open a Miller Lite, take a swig, a sip, look around and see my friends. We've known each other forever and we're just hanging out.
19:58 Speaker 02 Yeah, you guys are just doing chest bumps and high fiving.
20:01 Conan O'Brien? Miller Lite is great taste done right. Go to millerlite.com/conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
20:23 Conan O'Brien? On the subject of, of, of specific games, I know there are specific games with specific themes.
20:29 Speaker 03 Yes.
20:30 Conan O'Brien? Are there games that are thought of? I used to work on The Simpsons, so obviously I know there was a Simpsons game. Is that, is that game well thought of in the community?
20:37 Speaker 03 Well, there's, there's two. So there's the Simpsons Pinball Party, a much more recent release that actually I think is, is generally very well liked as, as a game. And it's got Homer's Garage, it's got a lot of fun, the monorail is there, so you, you're covered.
20:49 Conan O'Brien? Hey, should I get money from this?
20:51 Speaker 02 Yeah, I think you should.
20:52 Speaker 03 I mean.
20:52 Conan O'Brien? That's my episode. That's one of my episodes.
20:54 Speaker 03 Checking with your folks.
20:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
20:56 Conan O'Brien? My folks.
20:58 Speaker 02 Why'd you have to bring them up?
20:59 Speaker 03 With, with your people.
21:00 Conan O'Brien? They're dead, man.
21:03 Speaker 02 I think you just met your people.
21:04 Speaker 03 But there isn't earlier, there isn't.
21:08 Speaker 03 There isn't earlier Simpsons Pinball Machine. So that newer one is by Stern Pinball, but well regarded because it's their current manufacturer.
21:14 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, they're very highly regarded. Yeah.
21:16 Speaker 03 Was Data East, which is actually sort of a predecessor.
21:19 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
21:19 Speaker 03 And it, it's, it's actually, it's a very fun look, like the artwork is great. It's, you know, it's got a lot of the callouts of like the voices and whatnot. But it's, in terms of the rule set, like as a pinball game, I think it's generally disliked in a competition setting because there's a, they, a lot of people call it the big stupid ramp. Like a lot of games have the big stupid ramp. And so.
21:41 Conan O'Brien? D'Arcy, you can speak to this.
21:42 Speaker 02 Is this one where, wait, you were about to tell us about the big stupid ramp, but does a second ball come out occasionally on that one?
21:49 Speaker 03 I think, I think there's a multi-ball, yeah.
21:50 Conan O'Brien? This is what Son was talking about.
21:52 Speaker 02 Right.
21:52 Conan O'Brien? Someone rigged the game, Matt Greening rigged it, like 30 years ago.
21:56 Speaker 02 The big stupid ramp leaves it, leaves it right down the center of the flippers, right?
22:01 Speaker 03 Uh, no, it usually will return it to the, uh, it's called like a lane return. So it'll put it on your flipper. So that way you can flip it again. Yeah. Usually it's that, yeah, not going to put it in too much danger unless you miss it and it, then it rolls backwards down the ramp, down the center.
22:13 Speaker 01 Dad, what about the one where it bounces and then it goes into the one that makes you lose?
22:18 Speaker 02 No fair.
22:19 Speaker 01 Right?
22:19 Speaker 03 Bounces and then makes, makes you lose.
22:22 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
22:22 Speaker 03 A specific game or you're just talking about generally like?
22:25 Speaker 01 Pinball machine.
22:26 Conan O'Brien? What's the theme of it? Is it like Sartre? What's the, what's the theme of the game?
22:30 Speaker 01 Right before it goes to the paddles, there's one part where it bounces and then it can either go right to where you-
22:35 Speaker 04 There was a Terminator one that I think did that.
22:37 Speaker 01 Yes, where it finishes and you lose or it goes to the left to the paddles.
22:41 Speaker 02 Derek, is there, is there, in the Simpsons one, is there one where, I feel like I played it and you just get so many points if you get it in the right spot? It goes like.
22:51 Speaker 03 Yeah, well, there is. So actually the, uh, the nuclear power plant are the bumpers. So if you can get in the bumper, it, it won't be necessarily the biggest points, but yeah, you could get lucky and just get a lot of action there. And that, depending on the mode you're in, this is getting deep into the strategy.
23:05 Conan O'Brien? There is a whole, first of all, it's clear that everyone here is, was traumatized at one point by a game. But the other thing is, these are such vibrant memories for all of us because pinball goes back to, I mean, goes back forever, but it's been around my entire life. And, uh, so I, we've all had similar experiences where it comes right down the middle. It's out of the reach of both flippers and there's nothing you can do.
23:29 Speaker 02 So heartbreaking.
23:30 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
23:31 Speaker 02 Although now we know, there is something you can do.
23:34 Conan O'Brien? Not if it's going right down the middle.
23:35 Speaker 02 But he's saying if it's going right down the middle.
23:36 Conan O'Brien? Tilt the table.
23:37 Speaker 02 Or like maybe bump it with your body?
23:40 Speaker 03 Yeah, well, you can, you can. I mean, that, as long as, again.
23:43 Speaker 02 Me neither.
23:43 Speaker 03 But I, I mean, the one, the one, okay, so the two things I'll say, one is you might tilt it, right? So in that, the natural penalty for the tilt is you lose your ball. So then it goes on to the next one. But then the other potential issue is that there's an operator who actually owns the machine. And if they see you messing with the game too much, they might ask you to leave that establishment. Yeah.
24:00 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, but I tend to do that when he's got his head towards, near the oven, you know? He's shoveling a pie in. That's the best time to tilt.
24:08 Speaker 02 Tilt.
24:08 Conan O'Brien? Because he's dealing with that blast of flame.
24:11 Speaker 02 His head's in the oven.
24:11 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
24:12 Speaker 02 Tilt. Freaking tilt, man.
24:14 Conan O'Brien? What's he doing? He's feeding it in right now. Tilt.
24:18 Speaker 02 Oh no, he's committing suicide.
24:20 Conan O'Brien? Better for me.
24:22 Speaker 02 Tilt all night.
24:23 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
24:24 Speaker 02 All right, sorry.
24:25 Conan O'Brien? No, don't you never apologize for being you.
24:27 Speaker 02 I'm sorry, guys, I'm sorry.
24:28 Conan O'Brien? Darcy, never apologize for being you. No, it was good. This is incredible. You've taught us so much about pinball. And what is your favorite game of all time? Is there one themed pinball game that's like the holy grail for you?
24:41 Speaker 03 So I guess, I guess, let me, let me answer that in two ways. One is that I actually have a favorite game for competition play and a favorite game that I own. And so for competition play, there's actually a very old game. It's from, I think, the mid 60s. It's called Royal Flush. And it is a game where basically the main, the main thing is there's these stand up targets. As you hit them, you make poker hands and then you collect points as you go along there. For whatever reason, and it's a very simple game, but for whatever reason, it beguiles even really great players. And I feel pretty confident playing it. So it's a game where I can maximize my winning percentage on that. But then for my personal one, it's actually a very recent game that I purchased with the blessing from my wife, who's a big fan of the theme.
25:26 Speaker 03 There's a Jim Henson's Labyrinth game that was recently produced and I'm a big fan. And yeah, so that's it, that's downstairs.
25:34 Conan O'Brien? You bring up an interesting point, your wife. Where is she in your, in your obsession with pinball? And you're saying she let me buy this game.
25:41 Speaker 02 With her blessing.
25:42 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, and with her blessing. But how often is she in the corner crying?
25:49 Speaker 03 I'm telling you, you're right, you're spot on. There was a time where we needed it. So before we had children, because I have two children, five and five years and five months.
25:57 Speaker 02 Oh, weird names.
26:01 Conan O'Brien? Hey, for family names.
26:03 Speaker 02 Sorry, sorry, sorry.
26:03 Speaker 03 That's, it goes way back. But no, the, before we had my son in 2020, we did have, you know, we went, went to therapy to, you know, really have somebody sort of help us talk through like, hey, I do a lot of things. Not only pinball, I would do some like comedy, I would do video game tournaments. I just, you know, I love to sing karaoke. I'm all over the map. And she was very supportive.
26:26 Conan O'Brien? You rounded out your pinball obsession with other equally horrible things.
26:28 Speaker 02 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:29 Speaker 03 Exactly.
26:31 Conan O'Brien? I do D and D, you know, I'm not stuck.
26:34 Speaker 03 There was a moment where, yeah, I think we did have to have a sit down and be like, hey, this is not sustainable.
26:41 Speaker 02 How many nights a week?
26:42 Speaker 03 So let's just be mindful. And I think I'm much better for it.
26:46 Speaker 02 That's good.
26:46 Speaker 01 That's cool.
26:47 Conan O'Brien? Is there the equivalent of Alcoholics Anonymous for people that can't stop playing pinball? They've got twitchy thumbs and they're like going.
27:00 Speaker 03 Maybe in the way, you know, there are people who have reported if they play a lot of Tetris.
27:05 Speaker 02 Oh, my God, that's me.
27:05 Speaker 03 They have like, they like, yeah.
27:06 Conan O'Brien? Do you have that problem?
27:07 Speaker 03 Dream in Tetris.
27:08 Speaker 02 Yes.
27:09 Speaker 03 Yeah.
27:10 Speaker 02 I am the best Tetris player in the world.
27:14 Speaker 03 Oh, my God, breaking.
27:15 Speaker 02 My little sister's better. My little sister's better, but I'm second best in the world. And yeah, definitely dream in Tetris. Think about Tetris. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm able to, you know, I can, I can, I can.
27:26 Conan O'Brien? I don't think you can. I think you have a real problem.
27:28 Speaker 02 No, it's good. It's not a bad, it's not a bad.
27:30 Conan O'Brien? It's not good at all.
27:31 Speaker 02 I really, I want to play it right now, actually. Now that we're talking about it, I'm like, I gotta go.
27:34 Conan O'Brien? I gotta talk to Jason. Gotta talk to your husband about this.
27:36 Speaker 03 Just break out your phone right now.
27:38 Conan O'Brien? Did you have a question for me?
27:40 Speaker 03 I do, actually. So I guess one, one quick pitch and then a question. I swear it'll be quick.
27:46 Conan O'Brien? You know, it's funny, you always add things.
27:47 Speaker 02 Yeah.
27:48 Conan O'Brien? I'll say, you know, it's just funny, it's your thing. I'll be like, you know, do you have a que, you know, I'll say, oh, and what about this? Well, I can answer that in nine ways.
27:55 Speaker 02 Right, well, that's pinball for you, right?
27:57 Speaker 03 Just pinball.
27:58 Speaker 02 He's got pinball brain.
27:59 Conan O'Brien? He's playing pinball with my, with my soul.
28:01 Speaker 02 Derek's got pinball brain.
28:03 Speaker 03 I mean, I wrote, I wrote a musical about pinball.
28:06 Speaker 02 Did you? Wait, wait, wait. You wrote a musical about pinball? I think there already is one.
28:11 Speaker 03 Well, that's about playing pinball. This is about living pinball.
28:14 Speaker 02 Okay, okay, okay.
28:16 Speaker 03 It was in a local San Francisco competition. I won the contest. It was great.
28:19 Speaker 02 Oh, my God, Derek.
28:20 Speaker 03 It was wonderful.
28:21 Conan O'Brien? Good for you.
28:21 Speaker 03 So the one pitch I have is if you ever do Conan, Musco, but for the United States.
28:25 Conan O'Brien? Yep.
28:25 Speaker 03 I gotta say.
28:26 Conan O'Brien? When we thought about that, I just want to, and remember, it started with a gil, go ahead.
28:30 Speaker 03 Yeah, yeah. But you gotta go, go to a pinball in Chicago. There's a lot of the manufacturers, go to the factory. They have a special room where you can see all the experimental features. And I just feel like you could do a lot.
28:43 Conan O'Brien? I think that sounds like I would have a good time. If I go, I'll bring you. How about that?
28:46 Speaker 03 There you go. Thank you.
28:47 Conan O'Brien? At your cost. You have to pay the flight and my camera crew.
28:51 Speaker 03 I got you. I got you. Question is, so Team Coco licenses the Team Coco brand, the Conan brand likeness for a pinball machine. What features are you insisting are in the machine?
29:04 Conan O'Brien? Well, first of all, I would, I would consult with you if we did this. I would definitely consult with you. And I love this idea.
29:09 Speaker 02 That's a great idea.
29:09 Conan O'Brien? And I do insist, there's so many things that we could get into, the weeds on. But at some point, I would like to physically come out of the machine. I would like to be, and I would be willing, if there was only one and we could work it out with my schedule. I would go and I would be secreted in the machine. And, and then when someone wins, I come out.
29:32 Speaker 02 Yes.
29:33 Conan O'Brien? And greet them and take a selfie and then I buy them a round of drinks. Like, that would be important to me. Now, if that can't happen, I want some kind of Conan figure to come up out of the game. Because I'm self-obsessed. And don't you think, what do you think?
29:48 Speaker 02 I think that, okay, so like if you can picture a pinball machine, I think it's like as if Conan is in bed and his head is right here and then his body is here and he's naked. No, sorry, sorry, sorry.
30:00 Conan O'Brien? No, wait a minute. Hello, Darcy.
30:02 Speaker 01 No.
30:03 Speaker 03 I like this.
30:04 Conan O'Brien? No, I like this.
30:06 Speaker 02 I just realized what I was sort of describing, but I'm like, I'm thinking of Conan.
30:10 Speaker 03 What?
30:11 Speaker 01 She was like describing it with her fingers, which made it even more colorful.
30:15 Conan O'Brien? It's highly erotic. I'm enjoying this.
30:18 Speaker 01 It's horrifying.
30:19 Speaker 02 But definitely something with.
30:20 Conan O'Brien? Derek, I think you should leave.
30:22 Speaker 02 Something with, like some, some great ramp with his hair.
30:26 Conan O'Brien? Yes, ramp with the hair is important, but when you say I'm naked, is there parts of my body that are flipping the ball or no?
30:34 Speaker 03 It's like an operation.
30:35 Speaker 02 Yeah, that's kind of what I'm picturing. No.
30:37 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, oh, it could go into different parts of my body.
30:39 Speaker 02 Yes, yes.
30:40 Conan O'Brien? And it's me, look, my face is kind of like, ugh, because I have body shame.
30:44 Speaker 02 And this is, and this is how you really get them. You could be, this is you. You could really be in this pinball machine. Just a little head, your naked torso, maybe the pinball goes in your belly button.
30:57 Conan O'Brien? Now we're wondering what the flippers are. We are.
31:00 Speaker 01 And we're all wondering. God, no one's wondering. And we're sitting here wondering.
31:04 Conan O'Brien? And we're wondering.
31:05 Speaker 01 And no one's answering the question.
31:07 Conan O'Brien? Well, maybe it's my feet. They're churned inward going, and I'm kind of like, my feet are going.
31:12 Speaker 03 Yeah, or it's the string dance. It's the string dance.
31:15 Conan O'Brien? Oh, string dance.
31:16 Speaker 01 Yes, that makes sense. I was thinking like your intellectual property, like a little masturbating bear. And if the ball goes there and goes ding ding ding ding.
31:23 Conan O'Brien? A little triumph.
31:24 Speaker 01 His hands go faster.
31:26 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
31:26 Speaker 01 This is great. Oh, that's genius. I know.
31:32 Speaker 01 He's like quickly jerking it.
31:36 Conan O'Brien? Not licensed.
31:39 Speaker 01 I really do think you could make a.
31:40 Conan O'Brien? Derek, I'm very interested, Adam. Let's get on this.
31:43 Speaker 03 On it.
31:45 Conan O'Brien? And not Team Coco Ga- Conan!
31:48 Speaker 03 Yeah, I mean, go for it. I like it. I think this is all, this is all going into, yeah.
31:53 Conan O'Brien? All right, well, Derek.
31:54 Speaker 01 You should workshop the body a little bit more, I think. It doesn't need to be there. I don't think that needs to be there.
31:58 Conan O'Brien? I can show you photos and stuff, just so you know what you're dealing with.
32:01 Speaker 01 That's okay. We're good.
32:02 Conan O'Brien? No, I just went to my dermatologist.
32:03 Speaker 01 Lost all the color in your face. You look like you're about to vomit.
32:07 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Derek, absolute joy talking to you. I will be, we will be in touch if we can get this game to the next level. And thank you so much. This was really fun. Thank you.
32:19 Speaker 03 Yeah, no, I really appreciate it. I feel very fortunate to have a lovely experience like this. So yeah, thank you so much. And Darcy, lovely that you could join us.
32:26 Speaker 02 So nice to meet you.
32:27 Conan O'Brien? What a lovely guy.
32:28 Speaker 02 My Bay Area brother.
32:29 Conan O'Brien? I love this guy.
32:29 Speaker 03 Yes, absolutely.
32:30 Conan O'Brien? You're a very lovely fellow. And I have nine reasons why. All right, take care, man. Bye.
32:36 Speaker 03 All right, thanks, Conan. Thanks, Sonu. Thanks, Darcy.
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