Snack Attack Strikes Back with Talent Coordinator Maddie Ogden

Talent coordinator Maddie Ogden returns for a follow-up delivery of alternative snacks, and Conan’s team helps him decide on the right food product to stand behind. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? Submit here: teamcoco.com/apply

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:04Conan O'Brien?

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• 0:09Speaker 01

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• 0:10Conan O'Brien?

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• 0:19Conan O'Brien?

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• 0:55Conan O'Brien?

  One in four Americans targeted by scams ended up falling for them.

• 0:58Speaker 01

  I did.

• 0:59Conan O'Brien?

  For me, it would be four out of four. Did you fall for a scam?

• 1:00Speaker 01

  I fell for a scam once.

• 1:02Conan O'Brien?

  Oh my God.

• 1:03Speaker 01

  They didn't steal much.

• 1:04Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, still, you got taken for a ride. And you just put it out there that you're easy to scam.

• 1:08Speaker 01

  I am.

• 1:09Conan O'Brien?

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• 1:30Speaker 01

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• 1:31Conan O'Brien?

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• 1:44Speaker 01

  Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com/callconan. Okay, let's get started.

• 1:53Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, we're gonna do something a little different today. As you know, I run a powerful podcast company here, Thriving Concern, and we always are trying to improve things. Recently, we talked to our town coordinator, Matty Ogden, about our snacks that we were offering the celebrity guests that come on. I thought things were getting way too healthy, and this is a bit of a follow-up to that, because I've seen real positive change. One of the things she does is she treats the incoming talent, whoever it might be. All the greats come here, Cesar Romero, Rudolph Giuliani, all of our great podcast guests over the years.

• 2:36Conan O'Brien?

  You know, Al Jolson, Woody the Woodpecker. All the guests that come, she writes out a nice thing on a chalkboard with colored chalk. Welcome, Woody, welcome, former mayor of New York, Rudy Giuliani, now disgraced. And she writes a nice thing, and then she provides a gift basket. And I was getting very critical of the gift basket, because it used to be great, and then I noticed over time it got super healthy. Did you guys notice this too? And we talked about it, we had a segment about it. And we discussed it, and it started to get filled with like, "Oh, it's a weird kale chip." And Blay, feel free to jump in any-

• 3:06Speaker 02

  Mushroom jerky, you pointed out.

• 3:08Conan O'Brien?

  Mushroom jerky.

• 3:09Speaker 02

  That was the big offender.

• 3:10Conan O'Brien?

  Mushroom jerky broke my brain. So, we called Matty in, and Matty talked about it. And I think it was a very popular segment. People, I heard about it a lot from people out on the street, from the people on the street, because I walk the streets.

• 3:23Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 3:24Conan O'Brien?

  I'm often seen walking the streets at night, and I'm just trying for the people to come talk to me. And people really liked that segment. Since then, our show here in Larchmont has been bombarded with snacks. Every day I come in, there's new snacks. People are sending us snacks because they want to be part of our snack basket, which was never a promotional opportunity at all. This was not something that we were doing to-

• 3:49Speaker 01

  Maybe it should have been.

• 3:51Conan O'Brien?

  Maybe it should have been. Maybe we weren't playing the game right.

• 3:53Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 3:53Speaker 03

  Well, it is now, because we have mentioned some snacks we get.

• 3:57Conan O'Brien?

  That's true. I mean, no mushroom jerky. That's not allowed.

• 4:00Speaker 03

  No.

• 4:00Conan O'Brien?

  And no, like, weird collagen chips.

• 4:03Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 4:03Conan O'Brien?

  Um, yeah.

• 4:04Speaker 01

  I liked some of the stuff in there. I think you were a little harsh, because I liked a lot of the stuff that was in there, but now when they're bringing, like, you know, all the different popcorn, and I saw Oreos, I was like, yeah, maybe this is better.

• 4:18Conan O'Brien?

  Exactly.

• 4:19Speaker 03

  There's almond joys now, too?

• 4:20Speaker 01

  Yes.

• 4:21Conan O'Brien?

  Well, if Maddie's here, we should have her come in. If she's, if she's here, let's have Maddie come in, because we can talk to her, and maybe she can update us on what's been sent in. This is what's called, and I happen to know this, Sona, if you know what it's called, this is called a follow-up.

• 4:34Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Oh, thank you. That's cool.

• 4:36Conan O'Brien?

  And people like a follow-up.

• 4:37Speaker 03

  Hi, Maddie.

• 4:39Conan O'Brien?

  Maddie Ogden, come on in.

• 4:40Speaker 01

  Oh, she's carrying a box.

• 4:42Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. And Maddie, this was unplanned. I didn't set this up beforehand, but would you agree that since this segment aired, we've been getting people sending us snacks? Is that true? That's the microphone right there. Are we getting snacks, or are we not getting snacks?

• 4:59Speaker 04

  Um, we are getting snacks. We are getting snacks sent to us, to me, Maddie, the talent coordinator and snack artist.

• 5:06Speaker 01

  Yeah. What is this?

• 5:08Speaker 04

  This is, uh, this actually arrived today, along with other snacks. Showstopper cookies.

• 5:13Speaker 01

  Yeah, that was really good.

• 5:15Speaker 04

  A Portland, a Portland native like myself, and Michelle's granola, which Eduardo's wife is a huge fan of. I will be honest, I have yet to dig in, because I am nervous to make snackfluencer videos, because I don't consider myself to be an influencer.

• 5:31Speaker 04

  But, and then this is like air puff corn, which I haven't tried, Sona has tried. And my understanding is that it's like a healthier version of Pirate's Booty.

• 5:40Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's pretty good.

• 5:41Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, so, uh, first of all, I want to make sure this is all on the level with Adam Sacks, our guru. We're just mentioning products. I am not here, I don't want to be later on charged with some kind of scam. This is just us discussing.

• 5:54Speaker 03

  I think we're good.

• 5:55Conan O'Brien?

  This is okay?

• 5:56Speaker 03

  Yeah, I think we're good.

• 5:56Conan O'Brien?

  Maybe it's Tanisha. Tanisha's gonna come in here, and she's gonna say, "You can't mention that puff corn, because we have a side deal with Pippi Pappy's popcorn, from Cincinnati."

• 6:08Speaker 02

  We can't stop people from sending us food.

• 6:10Conan O'Brien?

  You're right, you're right. We cannot stop people from sending us like air puff corn, 50 calories per cup, better than popcorn, it says, but that must mean it's not popcorn. It's puff corn. What is it?

• 6:22Speaker 01

  It's like a healthy Cheeto.

• 6:23Speaker 03

  Can we try it?

• 6:24Speaker 01

  Let's see. But it's better.

• 6:26Conan O'Brien?

  We did not prepare this, and this is sealed pretty well. And Maddie has no knife or anything, and now she's tearing at it like a wild animal.

• 6:34Speaker 01

  And Blake gave her a pen.

• 6:37Conan O'Brien?

  You threw her a pen?

• 6:38Speaker 03

  So she could write a letter to request a knife? Oh, well, there's different flavors.

• 6:42Conan O'Brien?

  But I mean, I'm seeing, uh...

• 6:45Speaker 03

  Pancake?

• 6:46Speaker 01

  Wow!

• 6:46Conan O'Brien?

  Let me try pancake. Let me try pancake.

• 6:48Speaker 01

  Oh, a pain of cheddar.

• 6:50Conan O'Brien?

  This is pancake flavored puff corn.

• 6:53Speaker 01

  I already had a bag.

• 6:53Conan O'Brien?

  Did you?

• 6:54Speaker 01

  I did. White cheddar was really good.

• 6:56Speaker 03

  Oh, white cheddar and pancake, I bet.

• 6:58Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, my god.

• 6:59Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 7:00Conan O'Brien?

  That is good. It's a little alarming when you first bite into it, and then it's great.

• 7:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, it's good. I really like these snack segments we do, because all I do is snack here. I'm a big snacker. You don't snack as much as Maddie and I do.

• 7:12Conan O'Brien?

  I try not to snack as much. On air talent, I try to keep a lean body weight.

• 7:17Speaker 03

  How many bowls of fruity pebbles did you have today?

• 7:21Speaker 03

  Be honest.

• 7:21Speaker 01

  Didn't you have me tell everyone to remove them from the kitchen because you don't trust yourself around the fruity pebbles?

• 7:26Conan O'Brien?

  I have an addiction issue, and I respectfully ask that fruity pebbles, the magical cereal that turns, uh, um, milk into plutonium, be taken away.

• 7:36Speaker 03

  How many bowls today?

• 7:38Conan O'Brien?

  I don't want to shop about it.

• 7:38Speaker 03

  And then yesterday.

• 7:40Conan O'Brien?

  Two today, four yesterday.

• 7:42Speaker 01

  Are we on air talent? If this is a pod, are we considered on air talent? I know you are because you're on air a lot, but doesn't that make us on air talent too?

• 7:52Conan O'Brien?

  What are you getting at?

• 7:54Speaker 01

  Do I need to diet?

• 7:56Conan O'Brien?

  Oh, no. Oh, guys, no.

• 7:58Speaker 01

  Sona, no.

• 7:58Conan O'Brien?

  No, you're beautiful. What are you talking about?

• 8:00Speaker 01

  Oh, that's really nice. I'm stress eating a lot. It's fine. It's okay.

• 8:02Conan O'Brien?

  What are you talking about?

• 8:04Speaker 01

  Yeah, I am.

• 8:04Conan O'Brien?

  And no one, listen, no one's ever... No one's watching or not watching me or listening or not listening to me because of how I appear, clearly. So, you know, this is...

• 8:15Speaker 04

  Also, can I say, Sona, growing up, watching you and your presence on The Conan Show...

• 8:21Speaker 01

  Growing up, Maddie!

• 8:23Speaker 04

  I'm 14, we're violating a lot of child labor laws. But I just wanted to say, no, like genuinely, like as I was, you know, 3, watching you and, you know, starting to become a toddler, I, um, I'm, I'm young, I'm not that young, but I, you were, and I, I talked to my friends about this, and it's true, like you were such a healthy influence on a young woman, because the truth is, I'm, I'm sorry, I know this is a comedy podcast, I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be real for a second, um, but it sucks, growing up as a woman, I think that it's, you know, hot take, but, and you were such a healthy influence that you, first of all, were never afraid to be yourself, but that you were so, I, I

• 9:05Speaker 04

  think the term "body positive" is kinda like, but it's true in the sense that like, you know, you, growing up, like, you were so open about your love of snacks, and sometimes...

• 9:15Conan O'Brien?

  Alcohol.

• 9:15Speaker 04

  Alcohol.

• 9:16Speaker 01

  No, I don't need to chime in.

• 9:18Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, no, but you, I would say this, like Zorba the Greek, you live, you lived life, you loved life, and it was really healthy.

• 9:24Speaker 01

  That's really nice, thanks, guys.

• 9:25Speaker 04

  And you're beautiful, and you're just a good, you're a good role model, and it's still bizarre for me to work with you every day, and I just wanted to say that.

• 9:33Conan O'Brien?

  Wow, I didn't see this coming at all.

• 9:35Speaker 01

  You wouldn't have done it if you did.

• 9:37Conan O'Brien?

  If I had known this was gonna turn out to be some sort of kind thing for Sona, I'd have ditched this thing a long time ago.

• 9:43Speaker 01

  Our women's empowerment.

• 9:44Conan O'Brien?

  But I think that's very lovely that that was said.

• 9:46Speaker 01

  That's really nice, it means a lot to me.

• 9:48Conan O'Brien?

  And it was very nice of you to say it, and, um, I wish I'd been included in that somehow, but, I'm gonna let it go.

• 9:55Speaker 04

  Let the record show, I've written him multiple cards, he can't...

• 9:58Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I shred them. I, um...

• 10:01Speaker 01

  I'm gonna dig in.

• 10:02Conan O'Brien?

  Okay. "These snacks are good, I would recommend these for the gift basket, but we're getting other stuff in too, did we get Oreos?"

• 10:09Speaker 04

  Well, I haven't put them in the basket, I gave those just to you, but I can, I can get snack pack Oreos, if that, if that pleases thy lord.

• 10:17Conan O'Brien?

  No, I never compared myself to Jesus, that was one time.

• 10:22Conan O'Brien?

  When I said I could convert water into wine.

• 10:24Speaker 02

  Since people are sending us snacks and clearly you have a power to influence what's being sent us. Do you want to call out any sort of snack that you'd like to try?

• 10:33Conan O'Brien?

  I don't. I feel like I shouldn't alter the course of history.

• 10:37Speaker 02

  Got it, okay.

• 10:38Conan O'Brien?

  Like in Star Trek. This is gonna get you excited, you know, you're a big Star Trek fan. You can't interfere with the civilization on the planet.

• 10:44Speaker 02

  The snack prime directive.

• 10:46Conan O'Brien?

  Exactly. I knew you'd know the actual quote. Well, listen, I like the way the direction is going with the snacks. That's why this is called a follow-up.

• 10:55Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 10:55Conan O'Brien?

  Didn't expect it to be this Sona turn. I didn't see it coming, but it was lovely.

• 10:59Speaker 01

  I had to sneak it in.

• 11:01Conan O'Brien?

  Always keep a box cutter with you, so you can open a box.

• 11:04Speaker 01

  Just done?

• 11:05Speaker 03

  Especially around Conan.

• 11:06Conan O'Brien?

  Okay.

• 11:11Conan O'Brien?

  Good lord.

• 11:19Conan O'Brien?

  You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?

• 11:21Speaker 01

  Yeah, I love awards.

• 11:22Conan O'Brien?

  Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years? You know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.

• 11:36Speaker 01

  Nice.

• 11:37Conan O'Brien?

  Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.

• 11:45Speaker 01

  I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.

• 11:50Conan O'Brien?

  I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love. Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?

• 12:09Speaker 01

  Hello!

• 12:09Conan O'Brien?

  They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I had this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality innovation technology and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.

• 12:45Conan O'Brien?

  We all have those pieces in our closet we can count on. Sona, I imagine for you it's that leather jacket I got you.

• 12:50Speaker 01

  Are you gonna do a bit?

• 12:51Conan O'Brien?

  No, no, it's a really nice leather jacket I got you once.

• 12:53Speaker 01

  I had that and then I replaced it and yes, I use it all the time.

• 12:57Conan O'Brien?

  We all have that versatile jacket, the perfect T-shirt, and those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy. And you know what I was thinking about this morning?

• 13:06Speaker 01

  What?

• 13:06Conan O'Brien?

  Quince. They do it best. They really do. I was really thinking about this.

• 13:10Speaker 01

  What a coincidence that we're doing an ad for them.

• 13:12Conan O'Brien?

  No, a co-coincidence.

• 13:14Speaker 01

  Oh, no.

• 13:16Conan O'Brien?

  That's why I get the big money.

• 13:18Speaker 01

  I gotta go.

• 13:18Conan O'Brien?

  Cut to very small amount of money. Quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials and designs that are timeless, thoughtful, crafted, and made to be worn again and again. And when the temperature starts to drop, Quince makes it easy to build on those everyday staples with versatile layers. Layer up. That's the key. Now, Blay, you're using some Quince.

• 13:38Speaker 02

  That's right. I'm spending a lot of time back east in Michigan. It's getting a little colder, so I got a featherless quilted jacket in Atlas Navy, and I just feel like a different guy. I feel classy.

• 13:48Conan O'Brien?

  You look like a different guy because you're well dressed.

• 13:50Speaker 02

  That's right.

• 13:51Conan O'Brien?

  No, I'm serious. He looks like a hobo half the time.

• 13:53Speaker 02

  That's true. He's right. That's true.

• 13:54Conan O'Brien?

  No, they really do great stuff. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers or go to quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK as well.

• 14:08Speaker 01

  All right.

• 14:08Conan O'Brien?

  And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Please do that. Say, "By the way, I heard about this on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend." "Oh, I didn't really ask. I just want you to know."

• 14:22Conan O'Brien?

  It's the best way to support the show.

• 14:27Conan O'Brien?

  With the US Bank Smartly Visa Signature Card, you earn an unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Huh, it's a good deal.

• 14:34Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 14:35Conan O'Brien?

  No quarterly activations, no categories to track, just unlimited 2% cash back on every purchase. Sona, just the other day, I bought you this antique wig stand.

• 14:45Speaker 01

  Oh.

• 14:46Conan O'Brien?

  And I didn't get cash back, and I regret it now.

• 14:49Speaker 01

  Oh, okay. Well, that's a very thoughtful gift.

• 14:52Conan O'Brien?

  Do you wear a wig? Or is that your hair?

• 14:53Speaker 01

  Absolutely not. It's definitely my hair. And so it's kind of, it's kind of insulting you would buy that gift for me.

• 14:59Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I'll just return it anyway, but I do wish I got cash back.

• 15:02Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:03Conan O'Brien?

  Visit usbank.com/smartlycard to learn more. The creditor and issuer of this card is US Bank National Association, pursuant to a license from Visa USA, Inc. Some restrictions may apply.

• 15:17Conan O'Brien?

  So now, what are some of the things in life that really get you down?

• 15:19Speaker 01

  Uh, driving?

• 15:20Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 15:21Speaker 01

  That's the first thing that popped in my head.

• 15:23Conan O'Brien?

  No, but I've seen you drive, and it's true. I'm always picking mailboxes out of your grill.

• 15:28Conan O'Brien?

  You're a creative driver. Uh, look, let's face it. Just living on Earth can be a lot, right?

• 15:33Speaker 01

  It can.

• 15:34Conan O'Brien?

  I mean, oy vey, it's a lot.

• 15:36Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:36Conan O'Brien?

  There's gravity, there's mosquitoes, there's the, you know that they say the sun is going to, at some point, go supernova and incinerate the Earth, probably in five billion years.

• 15:44Speaker 01

  Okay.

• 15:45Conan O'Brien?

  But watch your diet, we might be sticking around for that.

• 15:48Speaker 01

  Oh, man.

• 15:48Conan O'Brien?

  So cosmically speaking, you've earned a break.

• 15:50Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 15:51Conan O'Brien?

  And you know where this is going? I think you do.

• 15:52Speaker 01

  No.

• 15:53Conan O'Brien?

  Pluto TV.

• 15:54Speaker 01

  Oh, right, of course.

• 15:55Conan O'Brien?

  To escape all of these hassles in life, you gotta get Pluto TV. Turn off all your earthly problems and turn on the movies and shows you already love. You've seen them, but you want to see them again. They're old friends.

• 16:05Speaker 01

  Yeah.

• 16:06Conan O'Brien?

  Anchorman, The Legend of Ron Burgundy, Dirty Dancing, Alias, X-Files. Pluto TV is completely free.

• 16:12Speaker 01

  Ooh.

• 16:12Conan O'Brien?

  These streamers, all these things cost so much money these days. And I won't mention that when I do an ad for them, but

• 16:19Conan O'Brien?

  no subscription, no fees, zero dollars. And as any mathematician will tell you, zero is one of the most profound numbers ever conceived. I was thinking about that this morning.

• 16:27Speaker 01

  Wow, that's profound.

• 16:28Conan O'Brien?

  I really wasn't. The best thing on TV are free. Escape to Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.

• 16:41Conan O'Brien?

  Good job with the snacks. I think they are, I think the snack game is way improved. And just getting rid of the mushroom jerky, which was a total, total fail.

• 16:51Speaker 01

  That was unforgivable. I, I am sorry. Um, a lot of people roasted me online as a liberal fuck for doing that. And I have to say, I can't disagree. That was a valid criticism.

• 17:02Conan O'Brien?

  Well, listen, I don't often agree with the far right, but I'm, when it comes to mushroom jerky, I do.

• 17:09Speaker 04

  Me too.

• 17:10Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah. Keep America strong.

• 17:14Conan O'Brien?

  All right, well, you do something with this, make it into something and then we'll be something.

• 17:17Speaker 03

  Me, I'm just lost in puff corn. Amazing.

• 17:21Conan O'Brien?

  It's weird, isn't it?

• 17:22Speaker 03

  I will break the prime directive and say, send more puff corn.

• 17:24Speaker 04

  Wow.

• 17:25Conan O'Brien?

  And the pancake flavor is a hit.

• 17:27Speaker 03

  Yeah.

• 17:27Speaker 04

  And the jalapeno cheddar.

• 17:29Speaker 01

  You can have more of that one.

• 17:30Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 17:30Speaker 01

  I opened it, but I'm actually feeling the white cheddar.

• 17:33Speaker 03

  Let me try that one.

• 17:34Conan O'Brien?

  Uh oh, what's happening here?

• 17:35Speaker 03

  Let me try some of that cheddar.

• 17:36Speaker 01

  You want some of this?

• 17:37Conan O'Brien?

  Give me some cheddar. Matty, is there a snack that you're thinking of, that you're pondering that would be moving us in a whole new direction that you haven't pulled the trigger on yet? Meaning, would we ever go to giving somebody, this is getting off the top of my head, but like a candied ham?

• 17:56Speaker 01

  Oh, God.

• 17:58Conan O'Brien?

  Or, I mean, like a meat product? Would we ever do that? Would we ever do a jerky of some kind, a real jerky? Would we ever do, uh, um, I don't know.

• 18:10Speaker 02

  It's very carb heavy, I think.

• 18:12Conan O'Brien?

  Yes.

• 18:12Speaker 02

  A little more protein maybe.

• 18:13Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, thank you, Blay, thank you. That's what I think I was going for is that it's all very chippy.

• 18:19Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 18:20Conan O'Brien?

  Uh, and very crunchy and salty.

• 18:23Speaker 04

  Yes, like snacks.

• 18:24Conan O'Brien?

  Those are all delicious things. Yes. But a snack can also be, um, a piece of, a slice of sirloin steak.

• 18:35Speaker 03

  Like a roasted pig on a spit or something, like going at all times?

• 18:39Conan O'Brien?

  Well, chunks of, chunks of ham, you wouldn't, I mean, obviously you're being silly when you say a whole roasted pig, but if we got a roasted pig and we hacked off chunks of it and we threw it in the basket, that would fill 15 baskets.

• 18:50Speaker 01

  That's nice.

• 18:50Conan O'Brien?

  You know, and then whoever's been on the show, whether it's Idris Elba, uh, or, uh, former mayor of New York, Rudolph Giuliani, they leave with a chunk of roasted Hawaiian suckling pig.

• 19:03Speaker 04

  That sounds like a snack basket for dogs. Would we just take it to a shelter?

• 19:07Conan O'Brien?

  No, I, I mean, again, you're doing your quips and your, your jokeroo's. That's your generation. No, and you're entitled to those, but I think I was making a real point, which is that protein would be a good idea. Yes.

• 19:17Speaker 04

  Protein.

• 19:17Conan O'Brien?

  Yes, and, and lean into a micro, we'll get to your own mic at some point if we can afford it.

• 19:21Speaker 03

  Just one thought is, you know, We have this big platform. It would be good to have our own products to push.

• 19:27Conan O'Brien?

  You know what? God damn, Adam. Yes.

• 19:30Speaker 03

  Conan O'Brien mushroom jerky.

• 19:34Speaker 04

  Can I just say, that's why we pay him the big bucks.

• 19:36Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah, I'm saying, uh, no, he actually doesn't. Um, uh, his money's all from skimming. He took.

• 19:43Speaker 02

  He doesn't even work here.

• 19:44Conan O'Brien?

  He doesn't work here. He hasn't worked here in years. We don't know what he's doing here, but, uh, he drives a Bentley.

• 19:52Speaker 04

  Ooh, Bentley. That's a good idea for the snack basket.

• 19:55Conan O'Brien?

  What do we do? What do we do? Uh, we should have a snack that has the Conan O'Brien name and which represents what I represent. A sweetness, a lightness, um, something.

• 20:09Speaker 03

  I think it's more acidy.

• 20:11Conan O'Brien?

  Okay, acidic.

• 20:12Speaker 01

  I don't know why I thought a tempura. And I don't know why. I think it's because it starts off really hard and then it softens when it's in the package longer. So maybe your softened tempura, uh.

• 20:23Conan O'Brien?

  Something. We've got to get a snack that has, I want to stand behind a food product. And I want to have a big piece of it so that I never work again. And I think there's a lot of people out there listening that would love it if I just stopped talking. And just shut the fuck up. So if I had a food product that was a big seller, it's like Newman's Own. I'm gone. Oh, that goes to charity, right?

• 20:49Speaker 01

  Yeah, there's the obvious choice.

• 20:50Conan O'Brien?

  That was the flaw with Newman's Own.

• 20:52Speaker 01

  The obvious choice is like Conan's potatoes.

• 20:55Speaker 03

  Beef chips. Or, or like a little individually wrapped carrot cake, you know?

• 21:00Speaker 01

  You think a carrot cake? I don't know.

• 21:03Speaker 04

  What comes to my mind is not so much a snack, but just maybe more of like a kazoo. Like if I was to, like, I think boil you down to one product.

• 21:11Conan O'Brien?

  Well, I think it's possible to make a snack that also makes a sound. It should be a snack that makes a sound. And if there was a snack that you could blow into and it made a sound, but it had a little bit of protein, you can add protein to anything. Protein powder. So, um, I mean.

• 21:27Speaker 03

  They used to make little candy whistles. Yeah.

• 21:29Conan O'Brien?

  Candy, a candy whistle. What's that?

• 21:31Speaker 03

  Like Pop Rocks.

• 21:31Conan O'Brien?

  Like Pop Rocks. You put them in your mouth.

• 21:33Speaker 02

  Or you just take it, you know, like one of those beef sticks and hollow it out. So it's a flute. Like a beef flute.

• 21:39Speaker 03

  A meat flute.

• 21:40Speaker 02

  A meat flute.

• 21:40Speaker 03

  Conan's meat flute.

• 21:42Conan O'Brien?

  I love it.

• 21:43Speaker 02

  Should I not have said that?

• 21:45Conan O'Brien?

  I think you did, and we're gonna have to go forward with it.

• 21:47Speaker 04

  I'm sorry.

• 21:47Conan O'Brien?

  I think it's Conan's meat flute.

• 21:48Speaker 02

  I'm sorry.

• 21:49Conan O'Brien?

  It's Conan's meat flute.

• 21:50Speaker 03

  Conan's own meat flute. All proceeds go to him.

• 21:53Speaker 04

  Yeah, and you'd be surprised how cheap it is.

• 21:55Conan O'Brien?

  So, and my big smiling face.

• 21:59Conan O'Brien?

  And my meat flute.

• 22:00Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 22:00Conan O'Brien?

  You're idiots, all of you. I thought I was the biggest idiot in the room.

• 22:05Speaker 03

  We learned it by watching you, Dad.

• 22:07Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:09Conan O'Brien?

  Well, watch for it soon. I doubt it's gonna be at Whole Foods or Aranwan or any credible...

• 22:13Speaker 04

  It's exclusive to our snack basket.

• 22:15Conan O'Brien?

  You don't think meat flute's gonna take off? We're gonna have to start our own supermarket chain, because they're the only... This, like, 7-Eleven won't take this.

• 22:23Speaker 04

  No.

• 22:23Conan O'Brien?

  Gas stations, independently owned gas stations, won't take Conan's meat flute. But we're getting it out there, Conan's meat flute.

• 22:31Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:31Conan O'Brien?

  Look for it. Uh, not really cleared by the, uh, federal government.

• 22:37Speaker 04

  By the FDA?

• 22:38Conan O'Brien?

  Yeah.

• 22:38Speaker 04

  They pushed us not to make it.

• 22:39Conan O'Brien?

  No, maybe now, yes.

• 22:40Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 22:40Speaker 03

  Oh, yeah.

• 22:41Conan O'Brien?

  Anyway, watch for it. Conan's meat flute, coming soon to an alley near you.

• 22:45Speaker 03

  I had four bags of popcorn.

• 22:48Speaker 03

  Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan, with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Obsidian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

• 23:05Speaker 03

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