Pod Insights Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend Conan Recaps The Mark Twain Prize Ceremony With Mike Sweeney About this episode Conan is joined by Sona, head writer Mike Sweeney, and executive producer Adam Sachs to recap Conan’s Mark Twain Prize for American Humor acceptance ceremony.
Transcript Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.
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0:16 Speaker 01 They are.
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0:23 Speaker 01 What?
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0:49 Conan O'Brien? Now, Sona, clearly, I'm a very important person to you.
0:51 Speaker 01 Yeah.
0:52 Conan O'Brien? Just accept the premise and we'll move ahead.
0:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:54 Conan O'Brien? I'm a very important person to you. What would you get me from Macy's for the holidays?
1:00 Speaker 01 A vase.
1:01 Conan O'Brien? No, I don't want a vase. I want something better.
1:04 Speaker 01 A jacket.
1:05 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, nice jacket. I love a nice jacket.
1:07 Speaker 01 Oh, yeah, that jacket. Nice jacket.
1:08 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, so now you have to do it, because you said you would.
1:09 Speaker 01 Aw, man, I didn't know you were doing that.
1:12 Conan O'Brien? Well, I know the holidays... I know the holidays are months away, but it's never too early, Sona, to find gifts that I will love, gifts I will wear, and surprises that make the season unforgettable for me.
1:23 Speaker 01 Okay.
1:24 Conan O'Brien? Macy's Gift Guide makes holiday shopping easy with beauty favorites, stylish fashion, jewelry, cozy essentials, must-have toys, home upgrades, and picks for every person on your list. Coach handbags, Breville appliances, Lego UG, and more, all in one place, so you can skip the scrolling and shop with confidence. Shop now in-store or online at macy's.com/giftguide.
1:49 Conan O'Brien? Hey, Conan O'Brien here, and we're doing something a little different today. I know this is usually a fan episode, but there are no more fans.
2:00 Conan O'Brien? They're all gone.
2:01 Speaker 02 It's been a while.
2:02 Conan O'Brien? It's been a while, and we've actually used
2:04 Speaker 02 You've been hiring people.
2:05 Conan O'Brien? A couple of people 10 times, using different voices and mustaches, which is unnecessary when it's audio. But anyway.
2:12 Speaker 02 And women.
2:13 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
2:15 Conan O'Brien? But anyway, the point is, we wanted to do something a little different because I just had a a very momentous moment in my career, and we thought, maybe we should talk about it. And there was some people asking questions. Actually, no one was. I just wanted to talk about it.
2:32 Speaker 02 No one felt it needed more discussion.
2:34 Conan O'Brien? I received the prestigious Mark Twain Award.
2:37 Speaker 02 Prize.
2:38 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, that's right. It's a prize.
2:40 Speaker 02 I know.
2:40 Conan O'Brien? And we looked it up. Prize is six notches down from the award.
2:42 Speaker 02 Exactly.
2:43 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. It comes in a Cracker Jack's box. But, no, the Mark Twain Prize, which they've been giving out for, I think, 28 years or something like that.
2:52 Speaker 02 Yeah, late 90s. The previous century.
2:56 Conan O'Brien? Sure. That's so far not helpful at all, Sweeney. I'm joined by people who were there and participated. That would be Mike Sweeney and Sona Movsesian. Yeah. And I'll start by just saying that it was a huge honor. I mean that. I'm not someone who usually gets worked up about awards and such, but the caliber of people that showed up for this event.
3:22 Speaker 02 Me and Sona.
3:23 Conan O'Brien? No. But it's still. No, I'm saying, you guys aside. The lineup was incredible. Awesome.
3:33 Speaker 02 It was a murderer's row.
3:34 Conan O'Brien? It was a murderer's row of just some of the people I respect the most in comedy. And they came out and they were all hilarious and really funny. And I will set the table, which is that I didn't know what to expect. And as you can imagine, being the focus of
3:55 Conan O'Brien? Being talked about and possibly complimented is the lowest rung of Dante's hell for me.
4:02 Speaker 02 For any Irishman.
4:03 Conan O'Brien? For any Irishman. And it was, I wasn't, I didn't know how to feel about it. And I was feeling very squirrely about the whole thing. And then I showed up and there was a, it was a dinner the night before, which in this case was emceed by Mike Sweeney, who was, and you feel free to jump on, Mike, anytime you want, Adam Sachs, because you were there as well. Wow, you seem thrilled.
4:31 Conan O'Brien? It looked like I just asked him, hey, if you want to, you can swallow a cup of my mucus.
4:36 Speaker 02 Adam, it'll help kill time.
4:38 Conan O'Brien? No, just as you were an observer.
4:44 Speaker 02 It's like he was at the Hindenburg.
4:46 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, yeah, he was there at Lake Hurst.
4:48 Speaker 02 The humanity.
4:49 Conan O'Brien? He said, humanity, the humanity, but.
4:52 Speaker 03 Sweeney was awesome. I told you in the moment, Sweeney, he's so funny and so, he has a nonchalance about his, the way that he hosts.
5:03 Conan O'Brien? Works.
5:04 Speaker 03 But it, but I think it, you know, put everybody at ease.
5:07 Conan O'Brien? He was so, you were so funny. You, you came up and it's a strange thing because we're all here the night before. There's some corporate tables from different companies that have, that have given money to the, to the Kennedy Center to help support the arts. And have been doing so for many years. And immediately you started to go after those tables, which was hilarious. I want to set the stage, which is, this is how strange the night was, the night before. The night before, we all gather, there's a cocktail party, shaking hands, talking to different people. We sit down and I don't quite know what's going to happen. And before the evening, just as the evening is starting, I feel something
5:50 Conan O'Brien? hit me between the shoulder blades. And I'm like, not hard, but something kind of thumped between my shoulder blades. And I'm like, did I imagine that? Would that really happen? And someone leaned over and said, David Letterman just threw a bread roll at you.
6:02 Conan O'Brien? And so I wheel around in my chair and as you're getting started, or the proceedings are starting, I go over to Dave, who's there with his beard and it's David fucking Letterman, you know, who's such an iconic figure for all of us. And I go over and I just said like, Sir, did you throw a bread roll at me? And he looked at me in with mock horror and was like, "Well, no, I did not." And he pointed to someone at another table. And he was, and then Sweeney took over. You were fantastic. I hate, I hate complimenting you.
6:37 Speaker 02 I know.
6:38 Speaker 01 I love it, and you were really, really funny.
6:40 Conan O'Brien? You were really funny.
6:41 Speaker 01 I do, I love complimenting you.
6:42 Conan O'Brien? You were really funny, and it was nice too, because I didn't even realize that some of the people who were gonna be performing the next night, these big names, were in the room. I didn't realize, because they showed up.
6:53 Speaker 02 Oh, I did.
6:54 Conan O'Brien? They sat in the corner and.
6:55 Speaker 02 I was terrified.
6:56 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. And, but, people got up and spoke. My, my good friend Amy Letman got up and gave.
7:03 Speaker 02 She was great.
7:03 Conan O'Brien? A beautiful speech, and she is so funny, but also one of the best writers I've ever known.
7:11 Speaker 02 I went to school with her, so it was a nice perspective.
7:13 Conan O'Brien? She had a perspective on me, knowing me when I was, she was not in the Lampoon, but she lived across the street, and she used to call the cops on us all the time. And that's how we became friends.
7:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
7:23 Conan O'Brien? I used to sit and talk to her through an open window while she was working late on one of her beautiful, you know, stories or prize-winning essays.
7:33 Speaker 01 And she co-created Party of Five, which for my generation is, you know, that was like a.
7:39 Conan O'Brien? And Masters of Sex.
7:40 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:41 Conan O'Brien? And a million others. She's a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant force and a great friend, and.
7:47 Speaker 02 She was amazing.
7:48 Conan O'Brien? She gave a, I mean, one of the all-time great speeches. And then I have to give it up, so many people got up and spoke. Jeff Ross.
7:55 Speaker 02 Jeff Ross.
7:56 Conan O'Brien? Did a very nice job.
7:56 Speaker 02 Very nice job.
7:57 Conan O'Brien? I've never heard Jeff say two consecutive sentences.
8:01 Speaker 02 It was crazy.
8:02 Conan O'Brien? And then he gave a.
8:03 Speaker 02 In 30 years, that's the most verbiage I've heard.
8:06 Conan O'Brien? And, and he gave a very nice speech. I have to say something, which is Sona Movsesian takes the stage. And who's sitting in the crowd? David Letterman, John Mulaney, Adam Sandler, just Sarah Silverman. These heavyweights who are gonna be speaking the next night at the, at the thing, they. Sona gets up and she acts like, yeah, okay, here goes.
8:34 Speaker 02 That's how she always is.
8:36 Conan O'Brien? That's how you always are.
8:38 Speaker 02 She's a superstar.
8:39 Conan O'Brien? I have marveled at this, which is that Sona, there's this scientific saying that the minute you expose any particle to light, the minute you observe any particle or atom, you change it. Just by observing it, you change it.
8:55 Speaker 02 Right.
8:55 Conan O'Brien? There's one exception to that. Sona Movsesian. Sona Movsesian, the time a guest didn't show up, this was Kumail, and Sona just, we told her at the last second, you're gonna be the guest, and we
9:06 Speaker 02 On the show.
9:07 Conan O'Brien? slapped some makeup on her. This is on the old TBS show, and she came walking out like she owned the place.
9:13 Speaker 02 Missed us a press.
9:14 Conan O'Brien? And proceeded to be an amazing guest. And then when the show was over, no ego, her head wasn't swollen, she wasn't like, oh my god, I gotta call all my friends and tell them I'm on TV tonight. She's like, alright, I'm gonna go to get some In-N-Out.
9:28 Conan O'Brien? See you guys later. You're just, I don't know who you are.
9:30 Speaker 01 Oh, well, there are no stakes, really. I mean, and also, I don't know if you felt this too, but that's one of the most nerve-wracking speeches, though, just to talk to you about how much you mean to people. That's a very awkward speech to do.
9:43 Conan O'Brien? But you didn't look, I mean.
9:46 Speaker 01 Well, I'm a national speech champion.
9:48 Speaker 02 Which I mentioned in your intro.
9:50 Speaker 01 I know, thank you.
9:51 Speaker 02 You are an amazing, you just hit it, you were hilarious.
9:56 Speaker 01 That's Sherry Knight, thanks guys.
9:57 Conan O'Brien? And I will say this, at the risk of being a human being, I love you both for being there and just that night, the night before, was so important because I realized, oh, I'm just laughing. And occasionally, there's a kind word, I'll avoid that, and I'll avoid eye contact. But mostly, people were just being themselves and being really funny, and I just found myself laughing really hard.
10:23 Speaker 02 Yeah.
10:23 Conan O'Brien? And it meant a lot to me. My, um, my brother Luke and Justin were there, and
10:29 Speaker 01 Your kids were there, Liza was there, which was really nice.
10:32 Conan O'Brien? That, I was never, knowing that
10:35 Speaker 02 Those comedians would be there.
10:37 Speaker 01 I know.
10:37 Speaker 02 Plus.
10:38 Speaker 03 So you knew events? I wasn't sure if they were gonna be there.
10:41 Speaker 01 I had no idea who was gonna be there.
10:43 Speaker 02 I did, and I was like, okay, maybe, you know, maybe David Letterman won't really show up. And, you know, it's like, yeah, he's, he's sitting right there, table 18, throwing bread at Conan. I'm like, fuck. No.
10:57 Conan O'Brien? And he did a really, he did a really funny thing, which was, he was acknowledged at one, I think you acknowledged him or somebody said, oh, my God, and David Letterman's here. And Dave, everyone else just kind of waved from their seat. He stood like King Louis XIV. And was, acknowledged the crowd and.
11:17 Speaker 02 Turned.
11:18 Conan O'Brien? And then turned to acknowledge more crowd and then did more sort of regal turns. And it was so funny that the applause continued. And he refused to sit down for the longest time. And I was like, gotta love that move. That's a really funny move. And everyone was just, that night was very special. Put me in a good mood and made me feel like, hey, maybe tomorrow will be okay. And then the next.
11:44 Speaker 03 Can I just add real quick on that night before you?
11:46 Conan O'Brien? Oh, and although the fact that you were there didn't bother me at all.
11:50 Conan O'Brien? One way or the other.
11:51 Speaker 03 Were you nervous, Sweeney, knowing I was in the audience?
11:53 Speaker 02 I was.
11:55 Conan O'Brien? That's podcast maestro. Adams, this is, this is Axe.
11:59 Speaker 03 I was just gonna say that.
12:00 Conan O'Brien? Or it's Michael Sarah. I can't tell which one.
12:03 Speaker 03 That's why Sweeney was nervous. The Kennedy Center put up a, like, highlight clip on YouTube, if people want to watch it, of the night before. I think if you look on YouTube, the night before, Conan, Twain, you'll find like a highlight reel. And I think, you know, they can see Sona and Sweeney.
12:18 Conan O'Brien? I will say, I think just for some, from some background, there was some, obviously for the last couple of months with the new administration, there's been some controversial stuff going on with the Kennedy Center. And there was a question of, should I go? Should I not go? And I, I felt like it was important to show up because first of all, we were brought in under the old regime. And, and the people who brought me in are no longer there. But I thought we should honor their decision. And we went and it was.
12:55 Conan O'Brien? Really lovely because so many of the young people that have been working at the Kennedy Center for years were delighted that we came. They don't know what their future is. I got to talk to a lot of them and they're really, uh, they're going through a lot right now and I had a great deal of empathy.
13:12 Speaker 01 Yeah.
13:13 Conan O'Brien? For what's happening there and I felt something about the situation added to the evening somehow.
13:21 Speaker 02 Wow, it sure did.
13:22 Conan O'Brien? It really made it feel like this is, um, and without being pompous, without, uh, just, it just felt like this is not a normal event, something, and, and we all need to be on our toes and, and, and kind of be, uh, funny, but also, uh,
13:45 Conan O'Brien? bring some optimism, maybe, bring some, I don't know.
13:47 Speaker 02 Yeah, it's not pompous at all. It was a very specific moment.
13:50 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
13:50 Speaker 02 That this event occurred and that you had all these great comedians there and you had this changed situation at the Kennedy Center that was so dramatic and was in the news all week.
14:00 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
14:01 Speaker 02 Dramatically in the news and so.
14:04 Conan O'Brien? Right.
14:04 Speaker 02 Yes, it's something that I, while, while, uh, fedding you at the same time, everyone in their own way, you know, acknowledged what was going on.
14:13 Conan O'Brien? I thought what was great is, uh, so many comedians that came, I mean, the lineup's insane.
14:19 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:19 Conan O'Brien? Uh, I mean, when you start a show with John Mulaney.
14:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:24 Conan O'Brien? Well, let's get this thing started.
14:26 Speaker 02 John Mulaney was so good. I was like, you know, as just thinking in terms of comedians in a show order.
14:33 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
14:33 Speaker 02 You're like, everyone has to, everyone was great.
14:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
14:36 Speaker 02 But watching Mulaney, you're like, whoa, I would not, if I was watching him and I knew I was in the on-deck circle or further down the.
14:45 Conan O'Brien? When I saw, when I saw Mulaney.
14:47 Speaker 02 I'd be scared.
14:47 Conan O'Brien? Mulaney was so funny that I left.
14:51 Conan O'Brien? Because I'm supposed to close the evening. Mulaney was so funny.
14:54 Speaker 02 We're just giving this award, dude.
14:56 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. I ran and I was halfway into an Uber when Sweeney tackled me and dragged me back.
15:03 Speaker 02 Get back there, man.
15:04 Conan O'Brien? I was like, I can't follow that. That's Sean Mulaney. He was, but then, I mean.
15:10 Speaker 02 Everyone, everyone was great.
15:11 Conan O'Brien? I mean, the list of people, Will Ferrell and, I mean, I don't know if we're supposed to be talking about who it is or if it's.
15:17 Speaker 02 I think it is there.
15:18 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I mean, Will Ferrell, just Tracy Morgan. Oh my God. Sarah Silverman, Nikki Glaser.
15:28 Speaker 01 Reggie Watts.
15:29 Conan O'Brien? Oh my God. And I, you know what's so funny is Bill Burr understands, because we grew up in nearby towns and we're made of the same stuff. And Bill Burr just drilled into me like, I'm gonna say a couple of nice things about Conan and he'll never look me in the eye again.
15:44 Speaker 02 Yeah, that was funny.
15:45 Conan O'Brien? You're gonna sit, and I was just like, this is a guy who knows.
15:48 Speaker 02 Right, right.
15:49 Conan O'Brien? How horrifying this is, but.
15:52 Speaker 02 Andy Richter was there.
15:53 Speaker 03 Did we say Stephen Colbert?
15:55 Speaker 01 Stephen Colbert with Sean Evans.
15:58 Conan O'Brien? And Stephen Colbert came out and did it, and I don't want to give away too much, but he.
16:02 Speaker 01 There's pictures.
16:03 Conan O'Brien? Okay.
16:04 Speaker 02 Fuck you.
16:04 Speaker 01 Oh, okay, I'm sorry.
16:05 Speaker 02 Fuck you and your pictures.
16:06 Speaker 01 It's out there. You guys know that things are documented now.
16:09 Conan O'Brien? He did a Hot Ones thing with Sean Evans that is absolutely fantastic and it was, you know, I mean, I have such respect and admiration and awe for everybody who showed up and, you know, there's that part of you that feels like, oh no, people have to fly here. That's making me uncomfortable.
16:30 Speaker 02 That would make me.
16:31 Conan O'Brien? You know what I mean?
16:31 Speaker 02 Yes, like you're in imposition.
16:33 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, it's an imposition and oh shit, and then everybody was so funny that I, that all melted away and there was, it was a happening and it was also really nice to talk to all of the people. I say young people. They're all different ages, but to me now, everyone's young.
16:58 Conan O'Brien? Who uh, who have worked so hard for so many years uh, for the Kennedy Center and just really have give, wanna give their lives to the arts and they're-
17:08 Speaker 02 You gave them a shout out and that was the biggest, that got a standing ovation.
17:12 Speaker 01 Yeah, it did.
17:13 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
17:14 Speaker 02 Cause I was, the whole audience was in place. No, uh, yeah, no, that was, that was a really nice moment.
17:19 Speaker 01 It was very cool. It was nice of you to acknowledge that.
17:21 Speaker 02 Yeah.
17:22 Conan O'Brien? Cause there's a lot of, oh, okay. Well, there's a lot of uncertainty there too. No, no, there's a lot of uncertainty and um, we've, we've heard uh, that a person or two that I spoke to that night is, have lost their job since and this just happened. Yeah. Um, and so it's this, it's a, you, you can feel sometimes shallow when you're trying to give encouragement to people who are in that situation. But I did want it to be a positive experience and-
17:50 Speaker 02 I, I do think, and this might sound shallow too, but when you're younger and you lose a job, that is an incredible, I feel like everyone here has probably been fired or-
17:59 Conan O'Brien? I talk about, in my speech, I start my speech uh, with-
18:05 Speaker 02 Right, yes.
18:06 Conan O'Brien? With a period of unemployment and uh, and, and what it felt like.
18:11 Speaker 02 Right.
18:11 Conan O'Brien? Um, and I know that, that parts of what I said, I'm anxious for it to come out on, I guess it comes out on Netflix.
18:19 Speaker 02 I, I think, May 4th.
18:21 Conan O'Brien? May 4th, I think.
18:22 Speaker 02 Oh, May 4th.
18:23 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
18:23 Speaker 02 Okay.
18:24 Conan O'Brien? What did you think?
18:25 Speaker 02 I thought it was April 4th.
18:26 Conan O'Brien? No, no, they, no, they looked at the tape and everything was great, but this shit you did.
18:31 Speaker 02 No, I, I was just sitting in the audience.
18:33 Conan O'Brien? No, I know, but even you in the audience, and they're doing a lot of CGI and stuff and-
18:38 Speaker 02 Oh no, I saw the camera near me.
18:40 Conan O'Brien? No, it looks like one of the skeleton warriors from Sinbad is sitting in the crowd.
18:45 Speaker 02 That's a fun Easter egg.
18:47 Conan O'Brien? It frightened people and a lot of kids can't watch now.
18:50 Speaker 02 Smelly egg in the audience.
18:51 Conan O'Brien? Look, there's a skeleton and he's gonna charge the stage.
18:54 Speaker 02 I think that's-
18:55 Conan O'Brien? Anyway, a lot of work is being done, so now it's, it's been moved to May 4th.
18:59 Speaker 02 Are they adding flesh to me? Like, are they reanimating me?
19:02 Conan O'Brien? Yes, and they're also not just flesh, but living flesh, so that it looks like you're still alive.
19:07 Speaker 02 Right, right, right.
19:08 Conan O'Brien? Because we've tried adding flesh to you before using CGI and it just looks like you're a zombie.
19:12 Speaker 02 I don't know why the word desiccated is always used to describe me.
19:15 Speaker 01 Oh my god.
19:17 Conan O'Brien? You know, listen, it's my own fault because when I found you, you were in a tomb in Syria.
19:23 Speaker 02 You knew the deal.
19:24 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I unwrapped you and I said, you'll be my head writer and, you know, the least is history.
19:30 Speaker 02 That's right.
19:31 Conan O'Brien? I just said the less is history.
19:32 Speaker 01 I was gonna say, I didn't want to mention it, but I heard you say the less is history.
19:36 Conan O'Brien? Well, because I'm now, my head is so swollen with the Twain Prize, that it's hard for me to pronounce words.
19:49 Conan O'Brien? You know, winning an award, that's a big achievement, right?
19:52 Speaker 01 Yeah, I love awards.
19:53 Conan O'Brien? Every now and then in life, maybe something nice like that comes your way. Winning them consistently is almost impossible. It just doesn't happen, you know? Well, guess what? Winning five times in six years, you know what that sounds like to me? Sustained excellence.
20:07 Speaker 01 Nice.
20:07 Conan O'Brien? Hyundai has done just that, earning the title of America's best SUV brand for 2026 from US News and World Report. You are a very happy Hyundai driver.
20:16 Speaker 01 I drive a Hyundai Palisade and I love my car. I love it. I love driving it around.
20:20 Conan O'Brien? I've been tooling around in an Ioniq 5N, which I love.
20:24 Speaker 01 Mm-hmm.
20:24 Conan O'Brien? Beautiful car. Well, listen, whether you need an SUV for everyday life, your next big adventure, or extra room for family and friends, Hyundai has an option for you. The Tucson Hybrid is loaded with technology and built for everyday life. The Santa Fe Hybrid's fully capable and ready for adventure. The Palisade, that's yours, right?
20:39 Speaker 01 Hello.
20:40 Conan O'Brien? They're gonna rename that the Sona. The Palisade Hybrid, yeah, delivers premium capability and class-leading interior space. With available, I had this memorized, H-Track all-wheel drive, up to an EPA-estimated 619 miles of range on vehicles like the Palisade Hybrid and Hyundai's industry-leading warranty. It's easy to see why Hyundai continues to deliver the quality, innovation, technology, and value drivers expect from an award-winning brand. View US News Best Cars at cars.usnews.com and call 562-314-4603 for complete details.
21:14 Conan O'Brien? Who do you shop for first on the holidays, Sona? Was it, do you shop for the kids or do you shop for Tac?
21:18 Speaker 01 My kids.
21:19 Conan O'Brien? Okay.
21:19 Speaker 01 Or Okie.
21:20 Conan O'Brien? You gotta get them your stuff.
21:20 Speaker 01 Or my dog.
21:21 Conan O'Brien? And then your husband is last. Well, guess what? It's that time of year. You feel that, you smell that, uh, that cinnamon cider in the air? Do you smell that?
21:31 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:31 Conan O'Brien? And you see pumpkins around, people buying turkeys. A little early to buy a turkey.
21:36 Speaker 01 Yeah.
21:36 Conan O'Brien? Doesn't matter. Holidays? I would say it's just around the corner, but that's a cliche. It's, uh, very nearby in the cupboard. Well, guess what? Amazon delivers joy with low prices on the gifts you want, even this early in the season. So get ahead of the season. Shop early gifts, top picks, holiday decor, and advent calendars at low prices. Get ahead, start on holiday gifting with Amazon's low prices. Shop now at amazon.com/holiday.
22:07 Conan O'Brien? This fall, I want to try something different.
22:09 Speaker 01 What?
22:10 Conan O'Brien? I like to change it up. I like to learn things, so I'm gonna try and make apple cider.
22:13 Speaker 01 Ooh.
22:14 Conan O'Brien? Every morning.
22:14 Speaker 01 Okay.
22:15 Conan O'Brien? This fall, just to see if I can do it.
22:17 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:17 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, fall's the perfect season to try something new, like joining T-Mobile.
22:21 Speaker 01 Oh, that's good.
22:22 Conan O'Brien? See what I did?
22:23 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:23 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, there are 250 reasons to join T-Mobile right now. You wanna hear what they are?
22:27 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:27 Conan O'Brien? They're America's best network.
22:29 Speaker 01 Okay.
22:29 Conan O'Brien? True story. Plus, T-Mobile has got off-grid satellite coverage. That comes in really handy. I like to just wander in the woods sometimes.
22:36 Speaker 01 Oh, that's weird.
22:37 Conan O'Brien? When I'm thinking about, like, making apple cider.
22:38 Speaker 01 Oh.
22:39 Conan O'Brien? And, uh, that's when it comes in handy.
22:41 Speaker 01 Okay.
22:41 Conan O'Brien? Here's another reason. High-speed data in over 215 countries and destinations. I travel a lot for the
22:46 Speaker 01 You travel a lot.
22:47 Conan O'Brien? Travel show that I do.
22:47 Speaker 01 Yeah.
22:48 Conan O'Brien? Stream this podcast while ignoring local landmarks. That's always fun to do. Like, oh, look, there's the Mona Lisa. Yeah, check it out. I'm in the Louvre. I should, but I'm listening to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend.
22:58 Speaker 01 That doesn't seem like a good idea.
23:00 Conan O'Brien? It's a great idea.
23:01 Speaker 01 Okay.
23:01 Conan O'Brien? You know, uh, you can see art anytime. But how often can you listen to this podcast?
23:06 Speaker 01 My god.
23:07 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
23:08 Speaker 01 What?
23:08 Conan O'Brien? Now, all these reasons make T-Mobile a great choice.
23:11 Speaker 01 I agree.
23:11 Conan O'Brien? T-Mobile is stacking up reasons to join. Go to tmobile.com and find yours best, based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data first half of 2026. Can't believe I read that. T-Satellite with capable devices in most outdoor areas in the US where you can see the sky. High-speed international data with qualifying plan. Visit tmobile.com, consult a physician. I just threw that in there.
23:35 Speaker 01 Oh.
23:40 Conan O'Brien? So, you have to admit, the holidays, it's really about hanging with the people you love.
23:46 Speaker 01 Yeah.
23:46 Conan O'Brien? And getting to be yourself, not going to some stuffy holiday party where you need to conform to what the man wants you to think about the holidays.
23:54 Speaker 01 Yeah.
23:55 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, it's about being yourself. Turn your holiday time into Miller time by enjoying a Miller Lite in a place where you're free to enjoy yourself on a walk with a cousin. With a cousin? Why are they getting all specific about it?
24:06 Speaker 01 Because it's family.
24:07 Conan O'Brien? But what about a niece or a nephew?
24:09 Speaker 01 Yeah.
24:11 Conan O'Brien? Like a walk with an ex-wife. I don't know. I mean, they're just throwing, that's a weird, they just made a very specific choice.
24:18 Speaker 01 Yeah.
24:18 Conan O'Brien? Now's the time for those unexpected holiday side guests and enjoy a great tasting light beer. 'Tis Miller time, as Dickens wrote. Miller Lite is brewed for taste, the taste you can depend on. The original light beer since 1975 and still iconic more than 50 years later. I like to be with my bros, my chums, my posse, crack open a Miller Lite, take a swig, sip, look around and see my friends. We've known each other forever and we're just hanging out.
24:45 Speaker 01 Yeah, you guys are just doing chest bumps and high-fiving.
24:48 Conan O'Brien? Miller Lite is great taste done right. Go to millerlite.com/conan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. 'Tis Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.
25:10 Speaker 01 Did we mention that it's for achievement in comedy and it's given at the Kennedy Center?
25:15 Conan O'Brien? American comedy.
25:16 Speaker 01 Yeah, that's what, I don't know if we mentioned what the Mark Twain Prize was.
25:19 Conan O'Brien? No, no, no, it is for athletic ability.
25:20 Speaker 01 Oh, no, no, no, Conan, someone lied to you.
25:23 Conan O'Brien? And guess what? Know what it is? It's the Mark Twain Prize for the most riz.
25:26 Speaker 01 No.
25:27 Conan O'Brien? Yes!
25:30 Speaker 01 Yeah. For the most know what person who should never use the word riz.
25:34 Conan O'Brien? No, don't make it negative that I, I know what riz is and it says on the award, Twain thinks you got riz.
25:42 Speaker 03 The rizler of the year award.
25:43 Speaker 01 Rizler.
25:44 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, you know, and guess what? Can I say something else? He was famous for piloting a rizzer boat. And, um.
25:50 Speaker 01 No, we gotta stop. I gotta quit.
25:52 Conan O'Brien? They just took the award away.
25:53 Speaker 01 You gotta take it.
25:54 Conan O'Brien? They're here to take it away because I said rizzer boat.
25:57 Speaker 01 They should take it.
25:58 Conan O'Brien? Oh, no.
25:59 Speaker 01 They should take it.
26:00 Conan O'Brien? First award to be taken away. Oh, no, second.
26:03 Speaker 02 Edit out that May 4th announcement. That's not happening.
26:06 Conan O'Brien? No, now it's July 4th because they've got a, oh, fuck. We got a skeleton in the audience. I'm making dad jokes about riz. We're all going down the drain.
26:17 Speaker 03 Uh, without giving anything away, I think that Will Forte also should get a shout out.
26:21 Conan O'Brien? Oh, my God. Well.
26:22 Speaker 02 Will Forte, yes.
26:23 Conan O'Brien? Will Forte is a surprise, but it's okay to talk about it. He was, uh, I had a notion for how I wanted the evening to end. And there was, when I thought of it, I thought there's only one person who can do it, which is Will Forte. And I did something I never do, which is I cold called him and I don't like to do that. But I cold called him and I said, I have an idea, but it means you fly into DC and only you can do it. And he was laughing really hard at the idea and he said, do it. And then I said, you have to pay for your own flight.
26:50 Speaker 01 Oh, man.
26:51 Conan O'Brien? And you have to pay me $5,000.
26:53 Speaker 02 That's reasonable.
26:54 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, and you have to kiss my feet. No, he, uh, he came and he, um, I mean, he's, again.
26:59 Speaker 02 He's the best.
27:00 Conan O'Brien? Again, he's just so, uh, funny and he can, I, I, I thought of this one idea and I thought, there's one person who can do it and sure enough. And to the degree where if he had, if he had said, I'd love to do it, but I can't because I'm shooting my, you know, I've got a shooting set. I'm in a movie. I'm doing this. I'm doing that. I would have done a different idea because he was the only person who could do it. So, what, everything came together.
27:24 Speaker 03 And Triumph was great.
27:25 Conan O'Brien? Oh, my God. Robert Smigel and Triumph.
27:28 Speaker 02 Robert was great.
27:29 Conan O'Brien? Robert was hilarious and he took you through the evening and the fact that it was a, you're in the Kennedy Center and it's this very impressive environment and that, and then.
27:40 Speaker 02 That's perfect for him.
27:41 Conan O'Brien? And let's just try and remember Triumph is a rubber dog.
27:46 Conan O'Brien? Who speaks like an old Russian lady? Is, has a microphone and is leading us through the evening.
27:53 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
27:53 Conan O'Brien? You know what I mean? It's supposed to be like, this is where Maria Callas gets her special medal.
27:59 Speaker 01 But then, there were a lot of old characters.
28:01 Speaker 02 Oh, well, that's the other thing.
28:03 Speaker 01 Yeah, yeah, and I'm not gonna give anything away, but there's a lot of, you know.
28:08 Speaker 02 You could tease two old late night writer favorites.
28:11 Speaker 01 Yes.
28:12 Speaker 02 Made appearances, memorable appearances.
28:15 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
28:15 Speaker 03 I sent Robert a photo. I looked up at one point and it was just, all you could see was Triumph, like, watching the show, sitting next to Will Ferrell, watching the show, and it was just hilarious. I sent him the photo of just Triumph watching the show.
28:27 Conan O'Brien? And you know what's so funny is that when Robert is Triumph, over the, whatever, 25 years it's been since Triumph.
28:35 Speaker 02 1998?
28:36 Conan O'Brien? 1998, something.
28:37 Speaker 02 97.
28:38 Conan O'Brien? But, but, you know, in between takes of things, I'd be talking to Robert and the puppet would be on his hand. And we'd be talking about, and sometimes, Robert would be doing the puppet.
28:48 Speaker 02 Yes.
28:48 Conan O'Brien? And I find myself talking to the puppet.
28:50 Speaker 02 Yes.
28:50 Conan O'Brien? And Robert's not wearing a mask or anything. You talk to Triumph.
28:55 Speaker 02 Yep.
28:56 Conan O'Brien? But the fact that if Triumph is sitting there just watching the event and Will Ferrell's also watching. And no one's like, I'm watching it, it's just the most natural thing in the world.
29:05 Speaker 02 Yep.
29:06 Conan O'Brien? There'll never be a dumber. I mean, there may not be a Twain Award again, but there.
29:12 Speaker 01 Will there even be one again?
29:13 Conan O'Brien? We don't know.
29:14 Speaker 01 Who gets it next year?
29:15 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I don't know.
29:16 Speaker 02 And we could tease, David Letterman was at the dinner, throwing rolls at you. And maybe he showed up for the big award night as well.
29:23 Conan O'Brien? We'll never know until you see it.
29:25 Speaker 03 Till my 4th, if it ever comes.
29:27 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, wait, till the 4th of May, it would have been the 4th of April, except for Sweeney.
29:31 Speaker 01 May the 4th be with you.
29:32 Conan O'Brien? Did you say, may the 4th be with you?
29:33 Speaker 01 Yes, I did.
29:34 Conan O'Brien? Want to take a Riz-er boat? And find yourself a new job. Yay! Anyway, it was, um.
29:42 Speaker 02 Conan O'Brien has a pun.
29:43 Speaker 03 You mentioned your speech, though, I do think, it already has hundreds of thousands of views up on YouTube.
29:48 Speaker 02 One part of it.
29:49 Speaker 03 An excerpt of the speech, which I, you know, I will just say, I thought was incredible and powerful. And in the moment, you know, I think.
29:55 Speaker 02 I think people got chills, I did, you know, watching this, hearing the speech in the moment. And I really suggest everyone go check it out.
30:02 Conan O'Brien? Well, you, oh, go ahead.
30:03 Speaker 02 Well, you were so distracted, well, not distracted, you were consumed by doing the Oscars. And then the Oscars were over and, and all this, they were planning travel show, another travel show.
30:15 Conan O'Brien? We left the morning after the Twain Awards.
30:17 Speaker 02 To go to Austria.
30:18 Conan O'Brien? To go to Austria to, to, to finish up.
30:21 Speaker 02 Yes.
30:21 Conan O'Brien? The show that had been interrupted by, uh, uh, stuff in my life.
30:25 Speaker 02 But I just want to mention that, that then when you finally, the week before the Twain Prize, Twain Prize, you were like, wow, this is coming up. You sat, you just, you wrote your whole speech, every, every, every part of it was, uh, written by you. It was fantastic job.
30:42 Conan O'Brien? Oh, well.
30:43 Speaker 02 Well done, including the serious part, which is out already.
30:45 Speaker 01 Yeah.
30:46 Speaker 02 And is already been nominated for a Grammy spoken word. But anyway, yes, you had a great job.
30:53 Conan O'Brien? Oh, and you, uh, got nominated for Best Special Effect.
30:55 Speaker 02 Yeah.
30:57 Conan O'Brien? Incredible.
30:58 Speaker 02 Best skeleton.
30:59 Conan O'Brien? How did they get a skeleton in the crowd?
31:02 Speaker 02 Also, Andy was great at the dinner.
31:04 Conan O'Brien? Andy was fantastic, the dinner and the show.
31:06 Speaker 02 Both, both, yes. Amazing job by Andy.
31:08 Conan O'Brien? He had some great jokes.
31:11 Speaker 02 Yes.
31:11 Conan O'Brien? And, uh, he's, um, you know, it's, I get chills because Andy, the summer before the show started, I was in so much trouble because I knew I only have literally weeks.
31:24 Speaker 02 Right.
31:25 Conan O'Brien? To try and come up with a show that would replace David Letterman from scratch.
31:28 Speaker 02 Yes, insane.
31:29 Conan O'Brien? And, uh, and the minute I met Andy Richter, I thought, oh, I like this guy. And in the back of my mind, I thought it'd be cool if he was with me out there, so I wasn't alone.
31:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
31:40 Conan O'Brien? And he's so funny.
31:41 Speaker 02 Well, he reminds me of Sona in that he doesn't give a shit.
31:43 Conan O'Brien? He doesn't, yeah, yeah.
31:44 Speaker 02 Which is unusual in a performer.
31:46 Conan O'Brien? No, no, no.
31:47 Speaker 02 I interrupted you, I'm sorry.
31:48 Conan O'Brien? No, no, no.
31:48 Speaker 02 You were gonna say you loved having him.
31:50 Conan O'Brien? No, no, I, I, that Andy is always Andy.
31:53 Speaker 02 Yes, exactly.
31:54 Conan O'Brien? And it doesn't matter, you can, uh, in a beautiful way, he's always himself.
31:59 Speaker 02 Yes.
31:59 Conan O'Brien? He's true to himself all the time and there's no, okay, I better gear up and get into Andy Richter character. There's no such thing.
32:06 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:06 Conan O'Brien? And the same with Sona.
32:07 Speaker 02 Yep.
32:08 Conan O'Brien? Sona doesn't give a shit about her performances or her work for me.
32:11 Speaker 02 Yeah.
32:12 Conan O'Brien? Um.
32:12 Speaker 01 Look at me now, on your podcast. Who won that one?
32:16 Conan O'Brien? You know, you, you win all the time. You win at life all the time.
32:21 Speaker 01 Didn't it feel like a funeral, kind of? Sorry, doesn't it feel like we were eulogizing you in a way?
32:28 Speaker 03 Didn't Amy sort of reference that?
32:30 Speaker 01 Yes, she did say that. She said it felt like we were eulogizing you, and it kinda did.
32:35 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, and I did have the strong urge to die afterwards.
32:38 Speaker 01 Oh, okay.
32:38 Conan O'Brien? Just because it's like, what are you gonna do now? You know, but then I realized, eh, it's on Netflix. People will see it, they'll forget. I need to get that next prize.
32:48 Conan O'Brien? But, uh...
32:49 Speaker 02 Sorry, there was only one American humorist, apparently.
32:52 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
32:53 Speaker 02 I'm sure if you lived in Britain, there's probably like a humorist award every three weeks.
32:57 Conan O'Brien? We've only had one. We've only had one.
33:00 Speaker 03 It's Twain.
33:01 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. Who's the guy that created Garfield?
33:04 Speaker 02 Right, right, right.
33:05 Conan O'Brien? What's his name?
33:05 Speaker 02 I don't even know.
33:07 Speaker 01 I don't know.
33:08 Conan O'Brien? It would be so cool if I had this.
33:09 Speaker 02 I only know Charles Schulz. I don't know if anyone's come since.
33:12 Conan O'Brien? No, what if they skip over Charles? What if they skip over Charles Schulz and they just give it to the...
33:17 Speaker 02 Jim Davis.
33:17 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, Jim Davis, creator of Garfield. And it's the Davis.
33:21 Speaker 02 The Davis Award.
33:21 Conan O'Brien? He's gonna get the Davis. Yeah, but you have to work in a plug for Garfield.
33:25 Speaker 01 It's a bowl of lasagna.
33:27 Conan O'Brien? That's right, because that's what he liked to eat.
33:30 Speaker 01 A bowl? No one eats lasagna out of a bowl.
33:32 Conan O'Brien? Wow, this was going so well.
33:35 Speaker 02 Hey, I thought that 20-minute bell was going off.
33:37 Conan O'Brien? It went off.
33:38 Speaker 02 All right.
33:39 Conan O'Brien? And, uh...
33:40 Speaker 01 It went off when you said Rizor Boat. That's when it started going downhill.
33:44 Speaker 02 Also, some great fun video surprises during the show.
33:48 Conan O'Brien? Yes, yes, and really good video surprises. Uh, some, uh...
33:54 Speaker 02 Fans will enjoy?
33:56 Conan O'Brien? Yes, fans, if there's still Conan fans out there.
33:59 Speaker 02 Right, right, right.
33:59 Conan O'Brien? Uh, after this self-congratulatory, uh, podcast episode.
34:05 Speaker 02 Well, no, I congratulated you, so that wasn't self.
34:07 Conan O'Brien? That's true, that's true.
34:08 Speaker 02 But of course, I'm an employee and...
34:10 Conan O'Brien? What are you gonna do?
34:10 Speaker 02 Value my paycheck.
34:13 Conan O'Brien? Yeah, I just wish I'd had more time to take it in, because literally the next morning... Everybody's had to scatter because everyone's busy.
34:20 Speaker 02 Right.
34:20 Conan O'Brien? And we, you and I jumped on a plane with Ross and we took off for-
34:26 Speaker 02 Jordan.
34:26 Conan O'Brien? And Jordan for Austria and then we just got back. So I'm still.
34:35 Speaker 02 And we're editing with this edit, the show's edited, it's due tomorrow to HBO Max.
34:40 Conan O'Brien? Yes, yeah.
34:40 Speaker 02 So we're editing, it's insanity.
34:42 Conan O'Brien? Yes, there's a lot that's happening right now.
34:44 Speaker 02 That's a lot.
34:44 Conan O'Brien? But I am, I'm glad they recorded that evening because if there wasn't a recording of it, I wouldn't believe it. That's how I feel about it. I kind of just wouldn't believe it. And my love and thanks to everybody who came out, I mean, really busy people flew across the country to be there and I'll never forget it as long as I live. Wait, just forgot it.
35:10 Speaker 02 It's a very, very funny show.
35:13 Conan O'Brien? Yeah.
35:13 Speaker 02 And very sweet at the same time.
35:15 Conan O'Brien? Yeah. All right. Well, I think May 4th, Netflix, check it out. I think you will enjoy it. And next week in this regular time slot, we'll probably be back with a fan or maybe just me talking more about how I won a prize.
35:33 Speaker 02 They're casting more fans this week, so we'll have more fake fans for you.
35:37 Conan O'Brien? We're paying people. His name's Conan.
35:39 Speaker 02 Yeah.
35:39 Conan O'Brien? Hey, Cronin.
35:42 Conan O'Brien? I loved your late night show. It's Conan and it's late night. I love you since you started in 2011. Yeah. You, I love it. You're great. I love when you drive with people and sing songs. No, that's Gordon. Whatever. Fuck it. Where's my money? All right. Peace out, Tupac.
36:00 Speaker 04 Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross and Nick Leo. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.
36:17 Speaker 04 Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Dougherty and Lisa Berne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign up at siriusxm.com/conan. Please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
36:45 Speaker 05 Time for a quick break to talk about McDonald's. It's the tangiest time of the year. For a limited time, head to McDonald's and get a McRib sandwich. Make it a meal by adding a medium fries and a soft drink like an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper. So grab a McRib sandwich and embrace the tang. Save time by ordering ahead on the app. At participating McDonald's for a limited time. Dr. Pepper is a registered trademark of Dr. Pepper 7-Up Inc.
37:10 Speaker 06 Your call is important to us. Please hold for the next nonexistent representative.
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