Nikki Glaser | Club Random Classics with Bill Maher

On this month’s Club Random Classics, Bill Maher sits down with comedian Nikki Glaser for a wide-ranging conversation about social media and self-image, Instagram perfection, how partners really see each other, the appeal of dating a celebrity, the value of couples therapy, and the art of a killer opening joke – plus why Nikki attended 18 Taylor Swift concerts in just 15 months. This episode first aired 9/29/24. Support our Advertisers: -Check out ⁠⁠https://www.squarespace.com/clubrandom to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code CLUBRANDOM -Smoke-free satisfaction at https://www.zyn.com -Get 30% off your first purchase and free shipping at http://wonderballsusa.com/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=wbaudiolaunch2025&utm_term=clubrandomwithbillmaher&utm_content=weekof12/1read and use code RANDOM Subscribe to the Club Random YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/c/clubrandompodcast?sub_confirmation=1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch episodes ad-free – subscribe to Bill Maher’s Substack: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://billmaher.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you listen: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/ClubRandom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Buy Club Random Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clubrandom.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices ABOUT CLUB RANDOM Bill Maher rewrites the rules of podcasting the way he did in television in this series of one on one, hour long conversations with a wide variety of unexpected guests in the undisclosed location called Club Random. There’s a whole big world out there that isn’t about politics and Bill and his guests—from Bill Burr and Jerry Seinfeld to Jordan Peterson, Quentin Tarantino and Neil DeGrasse Tyson—talk about all of it. For advertising opportunities please email: [email protected] ABOUT BILL MAHER Bill Maher was the host of “Politically Incorrect” (Comedy Central, ABC) from 1993-2002, and for the last fourteen years on HBO’s “Real Time,” Maher’s combination of unflinching honesty and big laughs have garnered him 40 Emmy nominations. Maher won his first Emmy in 2014 as executive producer for the HBO series, “VICE.” In October of 2008, this same combination was on display in Maher’s uproarious and unprecedented swipe at organized religion, “Religulous.” Maher has written five bestsellers: “True Story,” “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That? Politically Incorrect’s Greatest Hits,” “When You Ride Alone, You Ride with Bin Laden,” “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer,” and most recently, “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass.” FOLLOW CLUB RANDOM https://www.clubrandom.com https://www.facebook.com/Club-Random-101776489118185 https://twitter.com/clubrandom_ https://www.instagram.com/clubrandompodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@clubrandompodcast FOLLOW BILL MAHER https://www.billmaher.com https://twitter.com/billmaher https://www.instagram.com/billmaher Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

• 0:01Speaker 00

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• 1:15Bill Maher?

  Well, in this month's Club Random Classics, we've... rewinding to my dear friend Nikki Glaser. Ah, razor sharp, obviously very candid, shall we say? Wink, wink, and just always hysterically funny. From the little lies of Instagram and the real cost of showing up in Hollywood, to aging, touring, why she's not interested in having kids. It's everything. Nikki cuts through the bullshit and her performance gets to the messy truth. It's sharp, it's always rude, as I love it, and it lands where it hurts and then makes you laugh about it.

• 1:53Speaker 04

  Hi.

• 1:55Bill Maher?

  Honey, I'm home.

• 1:57Speaker 04

  It's so good to see you.

• 1:58Bill Maher?

  Hi.

• 1:58Speaker 04

  Hi.

• 1:59Bill Maher?

  Look at you.

• 2:00Speaker 04

  You look great.

• 2:01Bill Maher?

  Mmm, look at you. It's been too long.

• 2:04Speaker 04

  It has been.

• 2:05Bill Maher?

  It's probably right here, right?

• 2:06Speaker 04

  I think it was, the last time in person. Hi.

• 2:10Bill Maher?

  What's going on?

• 2:11Speaker 04

  You know.

• 2:12Bill Maher?

  I don't know. That's why you're here.

• 2:14Speaker 04

  Um, what's been going on?

• 2:16Bill Maher?

  I mean, I've certainly seen you. You know, I saw your Tom Brady roast, which you killed it.

• 2:22Speaker 04

  Thank you so much for referencing it on your show. That was so nice.

• 2:27Bill Maher?

  I did?

• 2:28Speaker 04

  You did. It was a great moment. I got so many texts about it and then I watched it myself.

• 2:33Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean.

• 2:34Speaker 04

  It was nice.

• 2:35Bill Maher?

  There was a lot of heavy.

• 2:36Speaker 04

  You like stopped down to say nice things after you told the joke. It was so cool.

• 2:40Bill Maher?

  There was a lot of heavy comedy hitters there and you wound up the star of it. That's a.

• 2:46Speaker 04

  Thanks.

• 2:46Bill Maher?

  That's a good moment in your career.

• 2:48Speaker 04

  Yeah, it was the moment. Like, I'm kind of at the point where I'm like, if nothing like that ever happens again, that's okay, because it was so big. And it was just a culmination of, you just get really lucky sometimes where hard work and preparation and chance come together. And that was that moment. It was just perfect.

• 3:12Bill Maher?

  You look tan.

• 3:13Speaker 04

  I'm so tan. I got a spray tan on top of a spray tan.

• 3:16Bill Maher?

  Why?

• 3:17Speaker 04

  Because it makes me feel.

• 3:18Bill Maher?

  Are you going to parties tonight?

• 3:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm going, like Emmys parties. I was nominated for an Emmy that I didn't win last week at the Creative Arts Emmys.

• 3:25Bill Maher?

  I was not gonna go to the WME one. If you wanna go, I'll go with you.

• 3:29Speaker 04

  Really?

• 3:29Bill Maher?

  Yeah, let's go to the party together.

• 3:31Speaker 04

  Is it tonight?

• 3:32Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 3:33Speaker 04

  I'll drop by that one.

• 3:34Bill Maher?

  Where are we?

• 3:34Speaker 04

  Because I have to go, I have to go to three other ones.

• 3:36Bill Maher?

  Oh my, why do you have to go?

• 3:38Speaker 04

  Because I RSVP'd and I wanna get pictures and that's just whole, that's part of all this stuff.

• 3:43Bill Maher?

  You play that game, right.

• 3:45Speaker 04

  I paid, you know, 1,500 bucks for a stylist to.

• 3:48Bill Maher?

  What?

• 3:49Speaker 04

  And 800 for hair and makeup, 200 for a spray tan. You gotta, and I'm not making money off these parties, I gotta go get those pictures. It's how you prove to people you're. You're doing stuff. That's how people know, I mean, you get it. It's how people know that you're, where people go, you're doing so well. And I go, based on what? And they go, just Instagram? And I go, yeah, that's a, it's kind of a lie. Like, I'll even look at my own Instagram sometimes and be like, she has it all.

• 4:18Bill Maher?

  Well.

• 4:19Speaker 04

  I really will and be like, wow, she's killing it. And I go, man, I gotta remember that this is, when I think that of other people, it's, it's not the case. Which we all know.

• 4:26Bill Maher?

  Instagram is a lie. I mean, that's the whole point of Instagram.

• 4:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 4:30Bill Maher?

  Is leading a virtual life. And it, look, I'm talking out of my ass here, because do I do anything with it? No.

• 4:38Speaker 04

  No.

• 4:39Bill Maher?

  But I certainly know enough about the culture and people on it and what people do to know that, and of course, going by my own bits. Bits have to be true, don't they? You couldn't say anything that, but I know I've done bits about that. You know, that the virtual world to a certain group of people, the younger set, is just much more important than the real world.

• 5:01Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 5:01Bill Maher?

  And it's much more important to look like you're having a good time than to actually being, have, having a good time, which someone in my generation finds insane.

• 5:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, and I'm somewhere in between those two generations.

• 5:13Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you are, right.

• 5:14Speaker 04

  Because I, I'll, I'll feel it sometimes where I'm like, I'm having a genuinely good time. And it's so glad that I don't have to document this. And then you think later on, you go, why didn't I? I need to tell, like, that was a waste of a good time because it wasn't documented. Like, I have that regret sometimes.

• 5:31Bill Maher?

  I mean, that goes back to Madonna filming herself in Truth or Dare, which is when she was with Warren Beatty. We're talking about 1991. And Warren Beatty in that famous scene, he's in it for a minute, but he has the great line, like, why do anything if it's not on camera?

• 5:48Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:49Bill Maher?

  I mean, and that was a long time ago. But that just shows, that mentality is not new.

• 5:54Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 5:55Bill Maher?

  It's just been brought to everyone. And no wonder you kids are fucked up.

• 6:01Speaker 04

  No, I know. It's so fucked. And it's, and I was, I read something ages ago about it and I found this really interesting is that people are so depressed about their lives because we're on the same platform, like a person who's, you know, a housewife in the Midwest is seeing her little square on Instagram pop up on the same device that Kendall Jenner's is, or Kim Kardashian or whatever. So you don't think of them as like, they're famous. I shouldn't compare myself. They're right next to me on this. So it's like they're my neighbor. Like we should compare ourselves to the people in our same, in our neighborhood. Like keeping up with the Joneses, but we're not, we're trying to, you compare yourself to the next square you see, which is some, you know, billionaire.

• 6:43Bill Maher?

  Does that mean that you want to have the same number of followers as the Kardashians? That would be a success?

• 6:49Speaker 04

  No, I don't, I'm really happy with how I am now. Like I'm really not looking to get any more famous. Like of course I'll take it because I want money, because I want to survive in the apocalypse and have like to be, or whatever happens, I want to be able to protect my family, friends. I want anyone in my family or loved one to get cancer and go, I'll take care of it. Don't worry about anything. I'm going to get the best treatment. That's what I'm stockpiling money for. That's what I want fame for. Because the pressure is not that fun, like to get more and more followers and not be able to go out and get recognized. That's not that great.

• 7:21Bill Maher?

  Money is good when you're, when you're sick. I mean, that is true. It makes a difference. But also fame.

• 7:30Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 7:30Bill Maher?

  Doctors definitely.

• 7:33Speaker 04

  Try harder.

• 7:34Bill Maher?

  You definitely want doctors who are fans.

• 7:37Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 7:38Bill Maher?

  And not ones who are, certainly you wouldn't want one who wasn't a fan.

• 7:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 7:42Bill Maher?

  Or even indifferent, I feel is like, you know, when I can find a doctor.

• 7:46Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 7:47Bill Maher?

  Who can look up my ass and loves me all the time. And I just feel like it's going, like any place, like a restaurant, like anywhere, it's just going to be, why wouldn't you?

• 7:56Speaker 04

  It's, it's not a dumb pursuit to want to be famous. I think it's, we all, we ascribe so much, you're so vapid if you want to be famous, but it makes sense. You're more protected in society. You're treated. Read it better. It's it's great.

• 8:09Bill Maher?

  What kid of almost any age doesn't want to be famous?

• 8:13Speaker 04

  A lot like and when you were growing up and you had dreams of this. Did all of your friends have dreams of this too? Because mine didn't. Mine were like, that's not my life. And I go, why would you not want to be famous? Isn't this?

• 8:25Bill Maher?

  Yeah, but that's because I think the other kids, I mean, you probably recognize in yourself, even when you're a kid, what your talents are, where some kids think they're going to be world-class athletes.

• 8:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:38Bill Maher?

  Very few of them do, but some do.

• 8:42Bill Maher?

  I was funny, and I was like, I always know I was going to do this.

• 8:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 8:46Bill Maher?

  You know, so this comes with fame if you do it well enough. Other people's dreams don't come with fame. So why would you fantasize about it? Because you're not going to be like a famous anthropologist unless you're like the greatest one in the world.

• 9:00Speaker 04

  That's a good point.

• 9:01Bill Maher?

  I can name a few, but.

• 9:02Speaker 04

  But I I wanted to be like a marine biologist, but I was like, or work with animals in some way. But I was like, you can't be famous that way. So and I wasn't good at acting or singing.

• 9:12Bill Maher?

  You wanted the fame first.

• 9:13Speaker 04

  I think I just wanted to be on TV. I think ultimately I was always attracted to comedy. And those are the people that I wanted to be, but I just didn't really know about stand-up comedy.

• 9:22Bill Maher?

  Well, you're lucky, Nikki, because that is asked backwards. You're supposed to like want to do the work. And then, you know, get up there and go, the fame is just a byproduct. I I wish it didn't happen at all, but it's the work, which is bullshit.

• 9:37Speaker 04

  It's bullshit.

• 9:39Bill Maher?

  Right. There's no shame in liking fame, as long as it's from something. And and at least part of you feels that, no, I'm glad it came from the work and it's about the work first. So.

• 9:53Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 9:54Bill Maher?

  You know, you're lucky that you actually were funny, because to just want to be famous, a lot of people do, but they got nothing.

• 10:01Speaker 04

  Do I had nothing?

• 10:01Bill Maher?

  They got nothing. No, you have something.

• 10:03Speaker 04

  No, I had nothing. So when I wanted to be.

• 10:05Bill Maher?

  Everyone has nothing to start.

• 10:06Speaker 04

  No, but I literally, like, I I knew from a very early age, I want to be on TV. And I tried to act in high school and tried to go away to and like, you know, I auditioned for all these theater schools, didn't get in any of them, like getting feedback like, you're not good at this. But I wasn't passionate about it. Like, I didn't realize what it takes to be a good actor. Because you have to like, like doing, I didn't like doing it. I just wanted to perform.

• 10:28Bill Maher?

  And then. You still want to be an actor?

• 10:30Speaker 04

  No.

• 10:31Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 10:32Speaker 04

  No, to be honest with you, I mean, I'll do it because if it's fun and it's the people I want to work with. And it's like a quick shoot and it's not long lonely days in Vancouver and a.

• 10:42Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you know what would be good for you? Like, you know, they do a lot of these ones with like a big cast and it's a murder mystery.

• 10:49Speaker 04

  Yes. Bring me on for a day or two.

• 10:53Bill Maher?

  You could, well, maybe a little more than that, but be one of the people who could have killed the motherfucker who's dead.

• 10:59Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 10:59Bill Maher?

  And let Daniel Craig figure it out or whoever, you know, is the dude. And, you know, let, I love the Kenneth Branagh Hercule Poirot movies that he does.

• 11:09Speaker 04

  Uh-uh. I don't know anything about those.

• 11:10Bill Maher?

  What?

• 11:11Speaker 04

  I'm sorry.

• 11:12Bill Maher?

  Oh, my God. Hercule Poirot, you know who that is?

• 11:14Speaker 04

  Don't talk to me like I'm the hawk to a girl. Okay?

• 11:19Speaker 04

  I don't think most people, I'm not, I'm not that young, but I don't, I've never heard that reference.

• 11:24Bill Maher?

  Literary detective.

• 11:25Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 11:26Bill Maher?

  You know.

• 11:27Speaker 04

  Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course.

• 11:28Bill Maher?

  Murder on the Orient Express, Death on the Nile. They made these movies in the seventies. Now he's remaking them.

• 11:34Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 11:34Bill Maher?

  It's great because you can bring on 18 people, you know, it's like, I'm telling you, you'd be really good in that.

• 11:40Speaker 04

  Okay, that's what I'll do. Because, yeah, I just don't, it just seems like a lonely life to be an actor. I don't like memorizing lines. I can do it. I get nervous around really good actors. You know what I want to do is like a rom-com. I love rom-coms and I.

• 11:55Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I mean, that takes more devotion, but you'd be great in one.

• 11:58Speaker 04

  I'd like to do it. I would devote myself to that.

• 12:00Bill Maher?

  Well, first of all, you could just, and you should, because come on, who's kidding who, it's just better to build it around your personality as it already is.

• 12:07Speaker 04

  Yes, it would just be me.

• 12:11Bill Maher?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 12:11Speaker 04

  Just like, I'm sorry, Jennifer Aniston's Jennifer Aniston in every movie, but she's brilliant.

• 12:15Bill Maher?

  Almost everybody is.

• 12:17Speaker 04

  Almost everyone is, yeah.

• 12:18Bill Maher?

  No, no, there's a level of actors who are, look, the Daniel Day-Lewis's of the world, who are so.

• 12:26Speaker 04

  Horrible to work with.

• 12:27Bill Maher?

  Are they? Is he?

• 12:28Speaker 04

  Or just obnoxious, you know, those, you know.

• 12:31Bill Maher?

  He might be. I don't, I have no idea, but as an actor.

• 12:34Speaker 04

  Christian Bale's and the, um, the guy from Succession, Kendall.

• 12:38Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 12:39Speaker 04

  You know, the guys that get into it and are the character the whole time. That's not fun to be around.

• 12:42Bill Maher?

  Right. But, I mean, to be able to do like some of the things he's done, Lincoln.

• 12:47Speaker 04

  I mean, thank God for his talent, but.

• 12:50Bill Maher?

  Yeah, well, I wouldn't go that far, but I, but I'm just saying.

• 12:53Speaker 04

  I wouldn't either, I'm sorry.

• 12:54Bill Maher?

  There's a level of actor that does that. I can be Lincoln, and then I can be the guy in, you know, Gangs in New York. And then this, most of the other ones who are, like you say, they're playing a version of themselves.

• 13:08Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 13:08Bill Maher?

  Meryl Streep can come out of a Holocaust situation. Most people can't.

• 13:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 13:13Bill Maher?

  You know, you just, there's just a lot, and so they don't try, and they shouldn't try.

• 13:17Speaker 04

  And they shouldn't.

• 13:17Bill Maher?

  And you shouldn't try.

• 13:18Speaker 04

  I, I will not be doing any period pieces.

• 13:22Bill Maher?

  That's funny. That's my.

• 13:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's, I want to play myself, and that would be, is it any, any roles I ever get, I'm just like, can she just be kind of like a sassy girl that, and they, I'm always a photo, the girl's always a photographer, or, um, what's the other job they give girls that are just like?

• 13:39Bill Maher?

  You could do one of those murder mysteries, and it could be important to the plot, uh, for some reason, when you have your period.

• 13:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, perfect, that's a period piece for me.

• 13:48Bill Maher?

  So be slightly.

• 13:50Speaker 04

  That would be amazing.

• 13:51Bill Maher?

  Different, I feel like, I feel like we could weave that into a plot.

• 13:55Speaker 04

  Oh, God, I gotta, I gotta get this role before I stop getting mine.

• 13:58Bill Maher?

  The detective knows that you were innocent because something with your.

• 14:01Speaker 04

  Oh, that's really good.

• 14:03Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 14:03Speaker 04

  And then someone says, but she doesn't get it anymore. She's very menopausal.

• 14:09Bill Maher?

  No.

• 14:09Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 14:10Bill Maher?

  You're too young and vibrant, and are you still in love? How's the, how's that shit going?

• 14:14Speaker 04

  Yeah, I'm still in love. I'm more in love than ever.

• 14:16Bill Maher?

  That's so great.

• 14:17Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 14:18Bill Maher?

  Oh, as we talked about last time, as I did my part, my little part in the beautiful plot with the Hawaii trip, and I feel like when the movie is made.

• 14:29Speaker 04

  That will be a significant, um, act.

• 14:32Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 14:32Speaker 04

  Of our film, is the Hawaii trip of, uh, with us two.

• 14:35Bill Maher?

  You didn't have your period on that trip, did you?

• 14:36Speaker 04

  Ah, I probably lied and said I did to avoid intimacy, but, um.

• 14:41Bill Maher?

  No, no.

• 14:43Speaker 04

  No, no, I would never, I would never. No, I'm so in love. I mean, here's the thing, though, as you know, like, sex gets hard.

• 14:50Bill Maher?

  You like it in the ass, anyway.

• 14:51Speaker 04

  I do, but not even that anymore. Like, I'm just kind of going through a, um, non-sexual part of my life, which is just tough to reckon with. I gotta get blood worked on. I gotta, like, figure out why I'm, like, not horny anymore, this poor guy. Um, but we're so in love, and like, I, I, I had a breakthrough recently with him, where we were kind of maybe gonna go our separate ways, and then, um, again, I was just, I just stopped, um. I just had an epiph- like I just, it's so basic, but I just realized like, no one I'm fantasizing about maybe replacing him with, or like not even a real person I'm thinking of. No one's gonna be perfect. And the things that aren't great about him are not me, it's him. I don't need, he doesn't need to be perfect for me.

• 15:34Bill Maher?

  That's true, yeah.

• 15:35Speaker 04

  And it was really just about acceptance and I, we've just been so good ever since. He's, he's become my creative partner, like I've really brought him in and so we're like.

• 15:43Bill Maher?

  Oh, he's such a funny guy.

• 15:44Speaker 04

  He's funny and he just handles all the stuff I don't wanna handle. He's a great person.

• 15:48Bill Maher?

  Oh, I loved him.

• 15:49Speaker 04

  He's awesome. He loves you so much too and so, yeah, we're so happy.

• 15:53Bill Maher?

  That's so delightfully honest, the way you put that and the way you said that. Because most people would not say what you said out loud and everybody's thinking it, which is like, you said something like, um, anybody I could replace him with. And that's something people just don't say out loud.

• 16:08Speaker 04

  Oh, it's something I thought a lot. And I'm sure he thought it about me. But, and, you know, because it's crazy that we're supposed to be with someone forever. Give me a fucking break.

• 16:19Bill Maher?

  Look who you're talking to.

• 16:19Speaker 04

  I know. I know I'm preaching to the choir, but like, it's true. And he knows it's insane too.

• 16:25Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 16:25Speaker 04

  And so we're just trying to be partners and figure it out and.

• 16:31Bill Maher?

  Anyone can see, it's so hard for the people right in the middle of the eye of the storm to see. But I think the people on the outside certainly who see you, we know this is the guy. You're gonna be with this guy forever.

• 16:44Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 16:44Bill Maher?

  And he's gonna be with you. You are, you could just tell it about some couples. It's just like the electron and the proton or something. There's a, there's a connection.

• 16:53Speaker 04

  I really got lucky with him.

• 16:55Bill Maher?

  Fucking up my chemistry, but, yeah. But you're so right. You're not gonna do better.

• 16:59Speaker 04

  I'm not.

• 16:59Bill Maher?

  And who are you gonna replace him with? Justin Bieber?

• 17:02Speaker 04

  I mean, anyone I thought of is like someone that would require too much attention, kind of wants the spotlight. He's totally fine with me being like the shiny one and supporting it and, um, and also like I just, I, we got into like a huge fight once, which, at a restaurant. But like a fight that no one else was witnessing because we were at a restaurant. I really recommend couples go to restaurants to like work on stuff because you can. Get out of line if you're if you're not drinking.

• 17:27Bill Maher?

  Except when they do do that.

• 17:28Speaker 04

  Except when they do.

• 17:29Bill Maher?

  And I've had that happen.

• 17:31Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 17:32Bill Maher?

  It's not cool.

• 17:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, no, we will we respect other people dining around us.

• 17:36Bill Maher?

  So glad I'm not 27.

• 17:37Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 17:38Bill Maher?

  Wouldn't go back to 27, even if I could.

• 17:40Speaker 04

  Oh, really?

• 17:41Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, because life is full of crazy shit like that.

• 17:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 17:45Bill Maher?

  Like, you know, some girl like storming out of a restaurant and you following her and.

• 17:50Speaker 04

  Did you used to do that?

• 17:51Bill Maher?

  Oh, so I, you know, I do I go out with girls who who got super drunk.

• 17:55Speaker 04

  Oh, of course.

• 17:56Bill Maher?

  And then when they got drunk, they relived every fight you ever had and, yeah. Did guys with psycho girls? Yeah, because when you're young, if someone's sexy, you don't care about anything else.

• 18:08Speaker 04

  I know.

• 18:09Bill Maher?

  If there's one thing that you.

• 18:10Speaker 04

  I don't blame you.

• 18:11Bill Maher?

  So great to leave behind from your dumbass youth.

• 18:14Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 18:15Bill Maher?

  It's shit like that.

• 18:16Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 18:17Bill Maher?

  So, yeah, I mean, we've all been there.

• 18:19Speaker 04

  Well, I guess I I had, when I drank, maybe I was there, but we got into a fight and he was just like. You know, I was talking about how I'm kind of bored in this relationship. I was just, it's hard for me to say, but I'm like, I'm kind of bored. And he goes, I hate to say it, but you're one of the most boring people I've ever met.

• 18:37Bill Maher?

  He said that to you?

• 18:38Speaker 04

  Yeah, and I go, and I laughed because it was the week after the roast and I was one of the most Googled people in the world. And so I was like, oh, really? I'm boring? But he, he knew he was being hyperbolic and I knew what he meant, which is like, I don't like to do stuff. I like to do, I like to work. And when I'm, I don't like to meet new people. I don't like to go out and play sports and, you know, pickleball. And like, he's a very social person and I'm just not. And he said, and we later talked about it and I go, I'm boring. He's like, it's not what I meant. And I go, I know what you meant. And he goes, here's the thing, though, I don't care that you are. I love that you are. I'm not throwing it in your face. I'm just saying, if you're bored, it maybe has something to do with you, but I I don't care that you're boring. But you are.

• 19:19Speaker 04

  And I was like, I, that really hit me that I was like, I am boring and I am a lot of things. Like, I don't like the outdoors. My family loves outdoors and I've always had shame about it, but he accepts me.

• 19:30Bill Maher?

  You are not, you're assuming an assumption of what makes someone boring that I do not share. Going outside, all activities. So funny, I just read a quote from some celebrity in the tabloids. Because you know I read the tabs.

• 19:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, of course.

• 19:44Bill Maher?

  I think it was Zoe Kravitz, who was talking about when she first got together with Channing Tatum. And she said to him, almost what you're saying now. She said, I just want you to know, I don't do stuff. I don't do activities.

• 19:55Speaker 04

  I don't do things.

• 19:56Bill Maher?

  And I thought, I totally get that. I don't do a lot of activities either. My days of like, traveling, except for stand up, really, I'm not, no, I'm not going to Paris again. I've seen it three times.

• 20:08Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 20:09Bill Maher?

  I could give reviews, you know. I get what's great, and I'm just not going back.

• 20:14Speaker 04

  It's so exhausting.

• 20:16Bill Maher?

  I'm happy, we're in my house, and maybe that's.

• 20:18Speaker 04

  I like what I like.

• 20:19Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I like what I like.

• 20:20Speaker 04

  I go to the same restaurants. I don't like to take chances. I have enough friends. If I need to make new friends, I will.

• 20:26Bill Maher?

  But see, that's what I'm saying. What makes life boring to me isn't that I'm not hiking. It's that the people I'm talking to, whoever they may be, friends, girlfriend, the conversation is, well, you know, this also, maybe you see each other more than I would see a certain person. Because I feel like that's the key there is like, if you're together enough, you run out of conversation. I've tried to fix my life so, you know, that doesn't happen by, by, in basketball, they would call it, you know, time management or like fatigue management. They don't play the players every game now.

• 21:09Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 21:10Bill Maher?

  It's like, no, I'm sorry, there's nothing wrong with LeBron. But he's got to, he needs to rest, okay? And I feel like that makes you better in the long run. But as long as the conversation, I don't want to go to, I'm the one who's like, no, I don't want to. That's it, because wherever we are, unless we're like, having a good time talking about it, whether it's watching a movie or looking at the Grand Canyon. Then I might as well be alone.

• 21:35Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 21:36Bill Maher?

  And I don't want to go to the Grand Canyon alone.

• 21:37Speaker 04

  Yep, that's what I'm bored is really based on conversation. And how, uh, how open people are willing to be. And how honest is really.

• 21:47Bill Maher?

  Because everything else, when you're not totally honest, it's just lateral motion.

• 21:51Speaker 04

  Oh, it's.

• 21:52Bill Maher?

  It's a, it's an offshoot, but it's not this most exciting thing, which I guess to people like us is just. You're right, I'm the same way, move forward.

• 22:01Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 22:01Bill Maher?

  Like what's new, what's realer. And sometimes that can be hurtful.

• 22:05Speaker 04

  And I like to debate a lot for like to, I like people more after I've gotten into a disagreement with them. And some people really don't understand that and they think I'm mad at them and they take it as really hostile. I've had to like pull back on it, but I realized that's how I connect with people is being like, so you think that? Okay, well, let's examine that. No, no, no, I really want to like, and, and oh, man, people can shut down. I've lost some friends over it because they're like, Nikki's too much.

• 22:30Bill Maher?

  You and I would be terrible together.

• 22:32Speaker 04

  Oh, we've debated before, but it's good because you like it too.

• 22:35Bill Maher?

  But I'm just saying like in a girlfriend, that's like the exact opposite of.

• 22:38Speaker 04

  Together, together?

• 22:39Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I couldn't, it would just, uh, yeah, we would.

• 22:43Speaker 04

  I'm too old.

• 22:44Bill Maher?

  No, no, no, it's not, it's not that. You look great, it's not that. It's, it's that, um, and by the way, neither one of us is thinking of replacing you with it.

• 22:53Speaker 04

  Listen.

• 22:54Bill Maher?

  But I'm just saying personality wise, that's like the opposite of what could ever work for me.

• 22:58Speaker 04

  Really?

• 22:59Bill Maher?

  Yes, I'm a.

• 23:00Speaker 04

  But in a friend.

• 23:01Bill Maher?

  I am what my mother used to call a pipe and slippers guy.

• 23:04Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 23:05Bill Maher?

  I didn't think I'd become one, but.

• 23:06Speaker 04

  But that's what you are.

• 23:07Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I like comfortable, I don't like, like, do I, I love to be told new information.

• 23:14Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 23:14Bill Maher?

  I, I totally don't mind being told I'm wrong if you don't do it like an asshole. And if you can show me why, then it's like, oh, great. I'm, I'm, I thank you for, uh, stopping me at this moment of my life before I went out and said that.

• 23:28Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 23:29Bill Maher?

  To more people who would all think I'm stupid, so thank you. And that happens.

• 23:33Speaker 04

  It does.

• 23:34Bill Maher?

  Uh, so it's not about that or ego, it's just like, I just like to be comfortable and, and just tone and.

• 23:42Speaker 05

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• 24:11Speaker 01

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• 24:26Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I want to saw-

• 24:27Speaker 04

  I would never talk to my boyfriend like I just talked, by the way. Oh, you think that? Like-

• 24:31Bill Maher?

  Oh, you don't?

• 24:32Speaker 04

  I'm very respectful. Like, I think that's really important in a relationship is that there's just, you know, I've never thought I'd be someone that was like, "You respect your man," but like, I really, now more than ever, just like, so respect him. And so I would never talk in that tone, because I think my parents talked in that tone a lot. Sorry if you're listening, parents, but you did.

• 24:51Bill Maher?

  Who else gets that tone from you? D-listers?

• 24:54Speaker 04

  No, just like my friends. Friends.

• 24:57Bill Maher?

  Like I say, D-listers.

• 24:58Speaker 04

  D-listers? My friends, for sure. Like, and, you know, new people I meet, other, like, other comics. I would say young comics, that I'm kind of just like, trying to rattle. I would say maybe I have that kind of-

• 25:10Bill Maher?

  Oh, they must be shitting their pants when they meet you. Isn't that something? You went from the young comic, not that you're not-

• 25:15Speaker 04

  I was gonna say, when did this happen?

• 25:17Bill Maher?

  To like, to like, the person who now they're shitting in their pants when they meet you.

• 25:21Speaker 04

  Oh, god, the other night, there was a girl that was in the green room at the Comedy Store, just like, "I just want to say, like, being in your, like, aura, like, I just feel like I'm funnier." And I was like, "I haven't said anything, I'm in my phone, I'm scroll, like, there's nothing with it." And she was just like-

• 25:35Bill Maher?

  No, but she's talking about your work.

• 25:36Speaker 04

  It was really, really sweet.

• 25:38Bill Maher?

  It is.

• 25:39Speaker 04

  Like, it was, it was so nice.

• 25:40Bill Maher?

  Your last special was awesome.

• 25:42Speaker 04

  Oh, my gosh, you did so much.

• 25:43Bill Maher?

  I did.

• 25:44Speaker 04

  You wrote to me, thank you so much.

• 25:45Bill Maher?

  I wish there was a better memory for specials. I remember you at the end with your-

• 25:51Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, I was acting out a gangbang, yeah.

• 25:53Bill Maher?

  But I mean, like, so many bits I loved, and also, I mean, you know, it had a kind of a build that was very, you know, I feel like you took it to the next level.

• 26:03Speaker 04

  Thank you. Thank you. I really learned a lot watching you, especially.

• 26:07Bill Maher?

  I'll finish your thought.

• 26:09Speaker 04

  So many, so many just great points made so perfectly comedically, but like also being intellectual about it, trying to say something. You know, you want to have those like kind of messages that change the way people look at things.

• 26:25Speaker 04

  But you also want to be funny. It's just, it's, it's hard to balance both of those.

• 26:29Bill Maher?

  No, I mean, you're, it's kind of like this discussion we're having here. Your honesty about especially the subject that is most, most sensitive of any. Because when you think about it, you know, the person who you let in as a lover now is potentially, just by that act of letting them in and loving you and loving them, just by that, they are now your worst potential enemy, potential.

• 26:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 26:56Bill Maher?

  Because they have things on you.

• 26:58Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 26:59Bill Maher?

  And ways to hurt you that no one else does.

• 27:02Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 27:03Bill Maher?

  So, so if it doesn't work.

• 27:05Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:05Bill Maher?

  Or if it works partly by this mingled into the relationship, that's what Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf is about.

• 27:12Speaker 04

  Mm.

• 27:13Bill Maher?

  The Taylor Burton movie, you know, the one.

• 27:15Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 27:15Bill Maher?

  It's a famous movie they did in the 60s when they were, when they were, when they were married. Elizabeth Taylor was, you know, the Angelina Jolie of her day. I mean, nobody was bigger. And Richard Burton was like her fifth husband or something. I mean, she was like, she, the paparazzi were kind of invented for her.

• 27:34Speaker 04

  Oh, that's right.

• 27:35Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I mean, she was the original of that. So she and Burton, they met on Cleopatra. She left her husband on the, at the time, on the movie she's making. And it was the most expensive movie in the world at the time, like a million dollars. And she was having like the chili from Chayson's flown in from Beverly Hills to Cairo. I mean, it was, you know, it was really, it was all that.

• 27:58Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 27:58Bill Maher?

  And, you know, they made this movie, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, black and white. I think she got the Oscar for it. And it's just a couple who.

• 28:13Bill Maher?

  They are just always saying the worst things to each other, but it's also what keeps them together.

• 28:20Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 28:22Bill Maher?

  It's an amazing study. You'd like that.

• 28:24Speaker 04

  I definitely should watch that.

• 28:25Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 28:26Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 28:28Bill Maher?

  And, you know, he's a professor and so he's not really doing well and he doesn't really turn her on and she flirts with other guys in front of him and belittles him for his achievements and then, you know, he just takes it and what?

• 28:43Speaker 04

  That just sounds awful.

• 28:44Bill Maher?

  Too close.

• 28:45Speaker 04

  Yeah. I mean, I could have been in something like that, but yeah, we go to couples therapy now and that has been the most helpful thing. I never thought, I mean, he never would go to therapy on his own.

• 28:56Bill Maher?

  That was in your show, wasn't it?

• 28:58Speaker 04

  And then we did it on my reality show, just like as a bit for the show. You know, you gotta go do shit on the show when you're someone who doesn't like to do stuff.

• 29:04Bill Maher?

  Wait, it's called a reality show. Are you saying what I think you're saying?

• 29:07Speaker 04

  I'm saying that it was invented for the sake of the show, for us to go, but we still see that same therapist from the show that we went to as like a bit for the show. You know, three years later, we still go to her and we go every week, whether we're doing well or not, because we used to just go in for checkups and now we go in just consistently and it's just like, I recommend it so much.

• 29:26Bill Maher?

  What does the ref do in this situation?

• 29:28Speaker 04

  We literally just, she goes, how are you guys doing this week? And then we will not have said any of this shit to ourselves because no matter how much we're like, let's get ahead of it and just like, next time, let's not let it pile up. It will have piled up because it's hard to say things in the moment when your feelings get hurt and the person's busy and you don't want to bring it up. So we, we get a list of things that we go in with and then we just air them out and it gets like to the point where it gets a little bit, it can get a little ugly. Not ugly in terms of being mean, but like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. You think that like both of us being like, how could you ever think that I would say it? And no matter what, we always leave like so in love with each other, even if it's not resolved, because we've just said the truth

• 30:09Speaker 04

  and we both somehow are able to see each other's sides of things. Like I just have really worked at being like. Think how he feels in this moment. Like, he's not trying to be mad at you for no reason. Like, you actually hurt him. He's hurt. Validate that.

• 30:24Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 30:24Speaker 04

  Like, whether or not he has reason to be hurt in your mind, he's hurt. And so try to understand what that would feel like. And that's really helped me to just, like, really stop and actually try to have empathy, not just sympathy. Like, literally, what would it feel like to be dating Nikki Glaser and have her say that, whatever it is? I'm like, oh, yeah, that would be shitty. I can see, we can both empathize with each other. And, you know, I just, it's the best. I recommend it to everyone. I would have never thought it would be so helpful, but it is. It's really, it's saved us.

• 30:57Bill Maher?

  How does it then affect the sex life? Like, when you come out of those sessions, is it, do you want to, like, tear each other's clothes?

• 31:04Speaker 04

  Yeah, kind of.

• 31:05Bill Maher?

  You do?

• 31:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, we're kind of like, oh, you're so cute. Like, you got so, like, I'm very horny for, like, him being emotional and him being vulnerable. And so I'm usually kind of horny for him. But then it's always at, like, 1 PM on a Wednesday, we have to, like, jump into meetings. So by the time, it's like nighttime, it's fading.

• 31:20Bill Maher?

  So do you think there'll ever be a time when you won't need a third person to hold his dick to make this happen?

• 31:26Speaker 04

  No, I think we will always need a little, like, I always will need a trainer. Like, I'm never gonna work out on my own and do the things I need to do, even though I could. I know what to do, but I'm never gonna do it. I need someone to tell me what to do. Like, for me to be in the best shape of my life, I need to go to classes and I need a trainer. I won't do it on my own. So I just feel like, yeah, I think I'll always, we'll always have this chick as our third. And, yeah, it's just, but who's to say that will last forever? Like, I think that's the other thing that made me feel so much more comfortable in this is like, it doesn't have to be forever. Like, it's just for now.

• 32:00Bill Maher?

  But do you ever?

• 32:00Speaker 04

  Kind of like being an alcoholic, just for today.

• 32:03Bill Maher?

  Maybe this is a crazy idea.

• 32:04Speaker 04

  OK.

• 32:05Bill Maher?

  But just to go in the complete opposite direction and say, you know what? Maybe we're overthinking the whole thing and we're, you know, just, just sort of... Institutionalizing normal goings on in life, weekly checkups, like it's a week, it happened, let's go on.

• 32:28Speaker 04

  No, because shit piles up and resentments pile up and if you don't air them out, they will pile up over a year and then one little thing will set off this thing and then he'll, he'll start, you know, like I will be mad at him about one thing he did that he doesn't even know he did. Then I'll kind of move this way and then he'll sense me moving that way and then he'll move this way. And then I sense that and then I move that way and there's no, there's no way to get back together unless one of us breaks the dam and I guess.

• 32:53Bill Maher?

  But you can't do that at home in the bathroom?

• 32:54Speaker 04

  We can do it at home.

• 32:56Bill Maher?

  You can't be like, you know, honey, you've been kind of distant the last couple of days. Did I do something like you can't just do that without.

• 33:03Speaker 04

  Yes, and we do do that, but I think having a third person just makes it feel safe for both people.

• 33:09Bill Maher?

  Cause you get a ruling?

• 33:10Speaker 04

  We get someone who like you can't say crazy shit when a person is like you can't.

• 33:14Bill Maher?

  But she takes sides?

• 33:15Speaker 04

  No, but she, she, she will be like, Nikki, you sound like you like in the last week, she was just like, Nikki, you kind of just shut down and just said sorry. It doesn't feel like you, it just felt like you were just, and I go, well, of course I'm just going to say, yeah, sorry, I won't do that again because you heard him, he never reads a situation wrong. So if he never reads a sit, like she kind of had my back in this moment. She saw a moment that he might not have seen and made me kind of stand up for myself. It's just, we both.

• 33:41Bill Maher?

  Do you ever get mad and argue the call like, you know, like, like Earl Weaver back in the seventies go out there and kick, kick dirt out? I can't believe you said that he was right about that. And then you get thrown out of the session?

• 33:53Speaker 04

  So, no, but we, sometimes we fight so much and she's like, guys, guys, it's screaming over us, but I, I generally, I, I'm not trying to sound like pat myself on the back here. I, I go so that he feels represented. Because I want him to have someone on his team because he's new to talking about his feelings. He's new to like exploring the reasons why he might be doing these things. I've been doing this shit since I was 18 years old, like in therapy, picking apart why I act the way I act. I'm, I'm more versed in it. So I like that she's there for him.

• 34:25Bill Maher?

  Like, take someone like me who does none of this. Do you think I'm probably fucked up because I haven't looked under?

• 34:31Speaker 04

  No, I don't.

• 34:32Bill Maher?

  You just think it's a different, it's some people do it this way and some people do it.

• 34:36Speaker 04

  Yeah, I just think, I mean, I think it would help if you were in a relationship that was like having the same issues over and over. There's no question it would help. It can only help. It wouldn't hurt. And so I think that it's just, yeah, it's just a different way of doing things, but if, I would absolutely recommend it to anyone. I don't think, it's like meditation. Like, it's not gonna be horrible if you don't do it, but it really will add a lot and you won't know until you do it. I mean, at least that's what I've heard about meditation. I don't do it.

• 35:00Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 35:02Speaker 04

  I used to.

• 35:03Bill Maher?

  I'm the same way.

• 35:03Speaker 04

  I was on Sam Harris's app, like addicted to it for a while.

• 35:06Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I know.

• 35:07Speaker 04

  And I got away and then I, I just haven't gotten back. It's so good. When I was doing it, things were good.

• 35:14Bill Maher?

  Why'd you stop?

• 35:15Speaker 04

  That's a good question because I, you just get scared of it. You get scared of sitting in silence. You get scared of, you know, I don't have the time for, it's like any excuse of like all the things that make you feel bad. You get scared of being alone with your thoughts if you're someone who's like running depressed and anxious.

• 35:31Bill Maher?

  But, but the whole point of it maybe.

• 35:34Speaker 04

  Is to not have thoughts?

• 35:35Bill Maher?

  Correct.

• 35:36Speaker 04

  Bill, no. Okay, here's the thing about meditation that I know, and I think Sam would back me up on this, is that you are having thoughts. It's the ability to see those thoughts and go, oh, it's a thought, and just kind of let it go past.

• 35:49Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 35:49Speaker 04

  So you're having thoughts the whole damn time. Um, and sometimes you're doing it, yeah, it's the whole time.

• 35:56Bill Maher?

  Well, there's ways, look, here's how I, again, I'm not the best at this, but I can, especially if I need to go to sleep, I can do this. Like, first I imagine, first I remind myself of what the brain is, which is, yes, thoughts are always incoming, incoming, incoming, and they can be random and they can be like about the song you heard in the morning, and then it can be about what I have to do with the show tomorrow, and then it can be about this person. They're just incoming.

• 36:25Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 36:26Bill Maher?

  I picture myself like in a room and they're all incoming and I'm just like, okay, I push them. Like, okay, I'm just, I'm not, you guys, I'm not killing you or hurting you. I'm just pushing you back.

• 36:39Speaker 04

  That's so healthy.

• 36:40Bill Maher?

  So just to, just to know where I am, and then. I, I, I, you know, you do have a, that boring thing you're meant for. You're not supposed to say.

• 36:50Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're not.

• 36:51Bill Maher?

  It's just something so if you have a song stuck in your head, no, you're not saying. You're just saying the same word over and over again.

• 36:56Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 36:56Bill Maher?

  That's boring. And then, you know, if you close your eyes, you don't see blackness.

• 37:02Speaker 04

  There's stuff.

• 37:02Bill Maher?

  What you see is like patches of light and it looks to me like the universe. And I imagine, oh, it's a complete recapitulation of the universe. It's just a little patch of light against the complete blackness. But that's probably, you know, a fucking galaxy formation.

• 37:16Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 37:17Bill Maher?

  And so like.

• 37:17Speaker 04

  That's it.

• 37:18Bill Maher?

  All this boring shit that's like, and, and it, now, if I, if there's a day that's going on where there really is something troubling, I am definitely not good enough to keep that thought out.

• 37:28Speaker 04

  Right. No, I mean.

• 37:29Bill Maher?

  But in a normal day, I can, because it is just, and what I try to tell myself at the beginning is whatever these thoughts in that are coming in, just remind yourself from the beginning, you probably won't be thinking about them at all in a week.

• 37:44Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 37:45Bill Maher?

  Maybe not tomorrow.

• 37:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 37:47Bill Maher?

  And definitely not in a year.

• 37:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 37:49Bill Maher?

  So, you know, there.

• 37:52Speaker 04

  I've been having this thing lately where I've, and I've suffered with it forever, but just instant regret of why didn't I, it's usually with work things like, oh my God, it could have been so much funnier if I would have told Bill that story or said that clip.

• 38:05Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah.

• 38:05Speaker 04

  Oh, my God, there's a line I had that was perfect, that would have been so perfect. It would have been clipped and it would have gotten a million views. And I'll beat myself up about it and I just lately, and I can spiral on those lately. I've just been like, you have to put that podcast away. It happened and there's, you don't get to open it again.

• 38:20Bill Maher?

  It's, I mean, I just.

• 38:21Speaker 04

  You don't get to.

• 38:22Bill Maher?

  I just came from taping Real Time.

• 38:25Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're sure.

• 38:26Bill Maher?

  That's every Friday night is I could have said, or I should have said.

• 38:30Speaker 04

  And what do you do with that?

• 38:31Bill Maher?

  Exactly what you're talking about. You have to, it's tough, you know, if you're a perfectionist and you want the show, you know, I always want the show to be as perfect as it could be. I mean, like, um, okay, so. Yeah, you're like, oh damn. And I feel almost like personally bad to the audience. Like, oh, I could have given you this.

• 38:51Speaker 04

  They don't even know it.

• 38:53Bill Maher?

  And they don't know it, of course.

• 38:54Speaker 04

  And people go, they loved it. And I go, but they don't know how much they could have loved it. They would have loved it even more.

• 39:00Bill Maher?

  Exactly. You really want to be there for them.

• 39:02Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 39:02Bill Maher?

  You want to be their hero. So it's like, I feel like, was I denied? Yeah, absolutely. The audience loved the show. You could just tell.

• 39:10Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 39:10Bill Maher?

  And it was a great show. Al Franken was there, lots of funny stuff. A lot of funny stuff to talk about.

• 39:16Speaker 04

  So much this week.

• 39:17Bill Maher?

  Yeah. But yeah, you're gonna have those moments. Or in, not just in our professional life. I have it in my personal life. I'm at a party and I leave, oh, I should have.

• 39:29Speaker 04

  Yep.

• 39:29Bill Maher?

  And the French have an expression for this. It's called l'expression escalier. Escalier, stairway.

• 39:34Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 39:35Bill Maher?

  And it means literally the thought you have on the stairway.

• 39:38Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 39:39Bill Maher?

  As you're leaving.

• 39:40Speaker 04

  And then you pause.

• 39:41Bill Maher?

  The apartment, like, oh, I should have.

• 39:43Speaker 04

  Oh, I'll get like a feeling through my body that kind of just like radiates like a pain. Like, Chris will sometimes in bed, I'll just go, oh. And he'll go, what? I go, I just should have said this thing that I didn't. And there was a great joke that I just left there.

• 39:57Bill Maher?

  You just gotta tell yourself, nobody wins 11 to nothing. If you win it all in life, seven to five.

• 40:05Speaker 04

  I know.

• 40:06Bill Maher?

  You know, and so you gotta leave it on the table. I know, I can't either.

• 40:10Speaker 04

  And there's nothing you can do. Like, just let it go. Because if there's something you can do right now, like, do it. But like, you know, there's been times.

• 40:18Bill Maher?

  Well, once in a while, you can say it next week.

• 40:21Speaker 04

  Exactly. And that's what I've learned is like, just store it away for the next time. Or just tell it anecdotally. I could have said this thing, and then it's funny.

• 40:29Bill Maher?

  Sometimes they're gone because it was of the moment.

• 40:31Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 40:31Bill Maher?

  And there's no way to get it back. But, but you know. Look, I've never been the type of comic who deliberately writes. You know, that's like some comics, that was their thing. Maybe you do it that way.

• 40:44Speaker 04

  No, I do not.

• 40:46Bill Maher?

  I don't either.

• 40:46Speaker 04

  I never have.

• 40:47Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 40:48Speaker 04

  There's no record of my work anywhere.

• 40:51Bill Maher?

  Really, you don't write it down?

• 40:52Speaker 04

  I write it in my phone, like I jot a note in my phone, but I don't write like a sentence.

• 40:56Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 40:56Speaker 04

  Wait, what do you do?

• 40:57Bill Maher?

  Well, I've been.

• 40:58Speaker 04

  Yeah, you have notes.

• 40:59Bill Maher?

  I just, yes, I've always tried to be vigilant about when I, you know, we are just fucking around and thinking of, and just getting high, really.

• 41:08Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 41:08Bill Maher?

  And something funny comes up, yeah, write it down. Just write it down, a little cocktail napkin.

• 41:13Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 41:13Bill Maher?

  That's all, I have reams of cocktail napkins.

• 41:16Speaker 04

  Do you put it in your phone, you're a phone guy?

• 41:18Bill Maher?

  No, no, no, no, old school.

• 41:20Speaker 04

  Old school, okay.

• 41:20Bill Maher?

  Computer, you know, put it in the computer.

• 41:22Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 41:23Bill Maher?

  You know.

• 41:23Speaker 04

  But at a, at a party, you'll just, you just find, like if you sit.

• 41:27Bill Maher?

  I'm not gonna do it. I mean, there was a time in my life when I was always doing.

• 41:31Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, we know that guy.

• 41:32Bill Maher?

  And when I was first starting, I had two, not just one, but two, little mini tape recorders, remember the ones for the?

• 41:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 41:43Bill Maher?

  In each of my jacket pockets, because I would, if I was doing an hour.

• 41:47Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Oh, it would run out.

• 41:49Bill Maher?

  So I'd have to find, somehow onstage, turn one off and turn the other one on.

• 41:55Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 41:56Bill Maher?

  I tried to do it surreptitiously, too, like, you know, just, but yeah. Well, I was obsessive about like listening back to every set.

• 42:04Speaker 04

  That's so good. Everyone should be, and they'd be great.

• 42:08Bill Maher?

  Those days ended a long time ago, but I don't need to do it anymore.

• 42:10Speaker 04

  But yeah, you don't, because, so when you come up with something onstage now, what happens? Are you recording it? Do you go back and listen?

• 42:16Bill Maher?

  No, it, I go over the set immediately when I get offstage, and I usually remember if there is something, and then I get a transcript and see it.

• 42:26Speaker 04

  Okay, I'll do that. I usually just tell the audience, hey, will you guys just DM me the words lobster ravioli? I'll know what it means. Like, I'll literally tell them, because I go, I won't remember that otherwise. But it's...

• 42:40Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, some bits, I just, lots of bits, just, I would need one word. Because there's no, like, bad way I can say it.

• 42:47Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 42:48Bill Maher?

  There are other ones that it really depends on, like, almost the most precise order of the words and stuff. And if you say it wrong, it just is not gonna have the same effect. Those, you kinda have to...

• 42:59Speaker 04

  You have the script out.

• 43:01Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I do.

• 43:02Speaker 04

  Yeah. I do that eventually when I'm doing a special, because then I bring in people to, like, actually help produce it. And there's like, where's the script? And I go, I don't have one. And they go, we need one. And then you start typing out and go, oh, this is a mess unless I have it exactly ordered the right way.

• 43:16Bill Maher?

  The way I edit comedy, mine and the writers', is just like, trying to be aware of, like, with comedy, you can't go from A to C or D. Like, you're feeding them a certain amount of information. Sometimes they need very little to get started. Johnny Depp got divorced. Yes, okay, that's all we need.

• 43:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 43:38Bill Maher?

  We don't need to explain a lot.

• 43:40Speaker 04

  You're so right about this.

• 43:42Bill Maher?

  But you can't go from that to whatever. You have to, you have to feed them this. Okay, now I've got this, and then I have this grasp on this, and now I can hear the punchline. But sometimes that's all out of order and...

• 43:53Speaker 04

  No, I think the biggest mistake that I see for myself or other comics when a bit doesn't work is not that the audience didn't think it was funny, they just lost the thread. They don't know what you're talking about. You lost them.

• 44:04Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 44:04Speaker 04

  You know what you're talking about, because you've told us a thousand times. They need more details to get to where you're at.

• 44:09Bill Maher?

  Or they are, sometimes more, but also, what sometimes fucks up a joke is too many words.

• 44:16Speaker 04

  Too much.

• 44:17Bill Maher?

  Too much.

• 44:17Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 44:18Bill Maher?

  They don't need that much.

• 44:19Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 44:20Bill Maher?

  You know?

• 44:21Speaker 04

  And that sucks, because your act goes from 30 minutes to 12, when you cut out all the fat. That's happened to me. I just remember being told by, like, you know, a veteran comedian early on, just tell the joke.

• 44:33Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 44:33Speaker 04

  Tell the joke. And I was like, I don't know what that means, but it was just because I was talking too much in the setup. Yeah.

• 44:39Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 44:40Speaker 04

  The quickest amount. Like, people that just go up and ram, I, your first joke should always be the smallest, to me. I'm so scared about getting that... Yeah, the first joke, I wanna laugh as soon as possible.

• 44:53Bill Maher?

  Yeah, so what do you do, what do you use?

• 44:55Speaker 04

  I mean, I used to use, like, I just turned 35 in June of 2017. You know, like, something like that to just catch you. Like, your age is never gonna be something that you can't go then talk about what's going on. You know, some kind of very quick thing.

• 45:09Bill Maher?

  Yeah, I remember as a starting out comic, I hated it because unlike now, where you're a known quantity, you don't have that awkwardness at the beginning, like, who the fuck are you?

• 45:20Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.

• 45:21Bill Maher?

  You know, it's just a rotten feeling. A bunch of people looking at you at a comedy club. They just went to see comedy.

• 45:28Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 45:29Bill Maher?

  Who the fuck are you? And you're right, you wanna, my opening line in, like, the late 80s, I think, was like, "I'm from the east." And then I would say, like, "Japan" or something. It wasn't that funny.

• 45:44Speaker 04

  No, that is funny.

• 45:44Bill Maher?

  And then, I said it funny, I think. And then it'd be like, "The Osaka area."

• 45:50Speaker 04

  I'm from back east.

• 45:51Bill Maher?

  Yeah, "I'm from back east." Something like that.

• 45:54Speaker 04

  That's so good. I think you need to bring that back.

• 45:57Bill Maher?

  And then I would go right to, into, I think, my impression of a New York City cop at the crucifixion. That was my second joke. Show's over.

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• 47:43Speaker 04

  Oh my god, that's so fun.

• 47:45Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 47:46Speaker 04

  And that gets them right away. I mean, those two are like, it's a bad.

• 47:49Bill Maher?

  It took me like years to get just, you know, like, I don't know, two or three years before like I even figured that out.

• 47:56Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 47:57Bill Maher?

  Just do something right away that don't.

• 47:59Speaker 04

  Right away that makes them trust you.

• 48:00Bill Maher?

  Yeah, don't fumpfer.

• 48:02Speaker 04

  They don't, because they have no trust in you when you first walk up there. The second that they like, you can feel them relax when it's, comedy is just about make, because everyone in the audience is like, I can't believe they're just talking. Like, I'm so nervous for them. I would never want to do this.

• 48:16Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 48:16Speaker 04

  So you just, you have to remember everyone's feeling that tension for you, no matter how good you are. I mean, maybe, maybe at our level, they're not, they're used, they know we're gonna do a good job. But I think even then, the audience, whenever I go see a, I project onto the performer and go, is she nervous? What's she thinking? And like, the second, you can just let them know, like, I've got this. I'm in control. They relax.

• 48:37Bill Maher?

  I mean, I think some people have that feeling. I think you're giving a lot of people a lot more credit.

• 48:42Speaker 04

  Yeah, maybe I just like.

• 48:43Bill Maher?

  I think a lot of people are, first of all, like in a comedy club setting.

• 48:46Speaker 04

  Yeah, you're right.

• 48:47Bill Maher?

  Some of them are rooting for that because it's interesting.

• 48:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's a good point.

• 48:50Bill Maher?

  Um, and other people are just like, I mean, they're, I don't know. I went to the Comedy Store recently and, or the Improv. I've, I'm dropping on each of them sometimes now.

• 49:01Speaker 04

  You do a set?

• 49:02Bill Maher?

  No.

• 49:03Speaker 04

  You're just going to watch?

• 49:04Bill Maher?

  Yeah, it's so much fun.

• 49:06Speaker 04

  It is.

• 49:06Bill Maher?

  It's funny, comics are funny.

• 49:08Speaker 04

  Why don't you do a set?

• 49:09Bill Maher?

  Oh, please.

• 49:09Speaker 04

  Why are you never doing sets around town?

• 49:11Bill Maher?

  I don't know, why?

• 49:12Speaker 04

  Because you don't need it.

• 49:14Bill Maher?

  I don't need it.

• 49:15Speaker 04

  But isn't it fun?

• 49:16Bill Maher?

  To do a.

• 49:17Speaker 04

  To kill?

• 49:18Bill Maher?

  At a comedy club?

• 49:19Speaker 04

  Yes, Bill.

• 49:20Bill Maher?

  No, I don't want to.

• 49:21Speaker 04

  It is. I promise you, you need to be doing spots.

• 49:24Bill Maher?

  First of all, sometimes this was late. There was like forty people in the audience.

• 49:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:27Bill Maher?

  I don't need to, no, I don't need to go to Gold's Gym to work.

• 49:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, okay, so you just drop in on shows and just sit and watch?

• 49:34Bill Maher?

  I don't drop in like anyone else. I go up to the door.

• 49:37Speaker 04

  You just go, you get a ticket.

• 49:38Bill Maher?

  I don't get a ticket. They let me in.

• 49:40Speaker 04

  Okay, yeah, and then you just go, you sit and you watch?

• 49:43Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 49:44Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 49:44Bill Maher?

  For like an hour or something.

• 49:45Speaker 04

  I love that.

• 49:46Bill Maher?

  Like, I'll be out to dinner with some people and I'll be like, I don't want to go home.

• 49:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:50Bill Maher?

  And then we're not going to go to a movie or, you know, sadly not a bar anymore and.

• 49:55Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 49:55Bill Maher?

  You know, we're not going bowling and I mean.

• 49:57Speaker 04

  Wait, why sadly not a bar?

• 49:59Bill Maher?

  Because I don't drink. No, I don't really drink. I think I'll have a drink now.

• 50:02Speaker 04

  Okay, yeah.

• 50:03Bill Maher?

  But mostly I don't and I certainly wouldn't drink after dinner.

• 50:07Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay.

• 50:08Bill Maher?

  I mean, I never did that. That would, that's, you're really a drunk if you do that because.

• 50:12Speaker 04

  You mean with dinner, as when you drink?

• 50:14Bill Maher?

  No, well, no, no, I used to, and when I was a real drinker.

• 50:18Speaker 04

  Yeah, me too.

• 50:19Bill Maher?

  I would, I would drink before dinner because you want to drink on an empty stomach because it works.

• 50:23Speaker 04

  It works so much better.

• 50:24Bill Maher?

  So much better. So to me, like, as soon as you had the food, your night was over. Because it kills your buzz. So many times I'd be out to dinner with people and like, I'd have a drink before dinner, probably a second one, and then the food would come. Everybody's eating and I don't want to lose my buzz.

• 50:44Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 50:44Bill Maher?

  And like, like the meal is over for everybody and I have not touched it and the waiter goes over and says, was there something wrong, sir? I'm like, no, no, nothing's wrong. I'm just a slow eater. And then I would either wolf it down or take it to go.

• 50:59Speaker 04

  But it was deliberate so you wouldn't lose your buzz?

• 51:02Bill Maher?

  Totally deliberate.

• 51:03Speaker 04

  Were you, are you, did you have a problem?

• 51:04Bill Maher?

  No.

• 51:05Speaker 04

  That sounds like someone has a problem that they're like trying, like, no, I don't think you have a problem. I'm not accusing you. I know you don't have a problem. I've been around you too much and you're too successful.

• 51:13Bill Maher?

  Well, now I have three drinks a week. So I, my problem is I can't drink because I'm too old to, you know, when you're 68 years old, you just, you're on a short leash.

• 51:24Speaker 04

  No, I used to love drinking so much.

• 51:26Bill Maher?

  And I never had a problem. A problem is like, I can't stop, it affects my work. I had a problem like any normal person, like I drank too much because I could get away with it. Had a great time, also made me like a douchebag sometimes.

• 51:41Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 51:42Bill Maher?

  But I was at 35, I was probably still gonna act like a douchebag anyway. What?

• 51:48Speaker 04

  No, I, I get what you're saying. I, I, I wish I could. I stopped drinking 12 years ago and I would love to be someone that just has one or two. And I think I could.

• 52:00Bill Maher?

  But not everything.

• 52:01Speaker 04

  But I just can't, I just don't wanna test it. Like I just, I'd rather not even try because it's just too risky. There's too much to lose.

• 52:08Bill Maher?

  It's so funny because I feel like I know your parents now and I know your upbringing. I know your house and I know that life, you know? I mean, middle class, great, nice people, kind of mid-American.

• 52:20Speaker 04

  Love to party.

• 52:20Bill Maher?

  White girl life. I'm like, why all these issues?

• 52:24Speaker 04

  I don't know. It's so annoying and it's so, I really.

• 52:29Bill Maher?

  It's connected to your talent. You know, people who are very talented, who have that thing, no, it's sometimes connected to a little bit of madness.

• 52:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 52:38Bill Maher?

  You know, you, Hitler, I'm just saying, there are people.

• 52:41Speaker 04

  Thank you.

• 52:42Bill Maher?

  Who like, they were genius at some things, like he was with commanding a crowd.

• 52:47Speaker 04

  Right.

• 52:47Bill Maher?

  Like Trump. I'm not saying Trump's Hitler.

• 52:50Speaker 04

  No, you're not.

• 52:50Bill Maher?

  No, Hitler actually fought the Russians.

• 52:57Speaker 04

  But yeah, you gotta be a little.

• 52:59Bill Maher?

  Yes, it's, there's, there's constant discussion of that, the connection between madness and genius. Charlie Chaplin, who of course is almost a doppelganger for Hitler. You know, they were born the same year.

• 53:13Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 53:14Bill Maher?

  They became phenomenons, well, Charlie earlier, but I mean, like, like a level of mass.

• 53:22Bill Maher?

  Adoration that very few people have ever witnessed. We're seeing one now in Taylor Swift. But Chaplin was maybe the first show person who had that kind of like.

• 53:32Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 53:33Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah, like when he went to London after, I mean, when he was at that level of saying the headline, I think in the London Times was just Chaplin, you know, he was just in town. It was just, and he was.

• 53:45Speaker 04

  What was it? What was his crazy?

• 53:49Bill Maher?

  Twelve-year-old girl for one. Charlie Chaplin?

• 53:52Speaker 04

  I didn't know that.

• 53:53Bill Maher?

  Oh, yeah.

• 53:54Speaker 04

  Oh, God.

• 53:55Bill Maher?

  He, oh, yes. I mean, of course, this was in an era when nobody.

• 53:59Speaker 04

  Oh, that was.

• 54:00Bill Maher?

  Did anything about it.

• 54:01Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:02Bill Maher?

  Oh, he married them. I mean, they, you know, I think there was a couple of suicides.

• 54:06Speaker 04

  I can't believe, I didn't know that. He isn't, I don't think he's been publicly canceled for that yet.

• 54:11Bill Maher?

  Charlie Chaplin?

• 54:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:14Bill Maher?

  Well.

• 54:15Speaker 04

  In that way, the way that everyone's gone.

• 54:16Bill Maher?

  He was canceled in his lifetime, like way before canceling was a thing. He is, he was an ex-patriot. He moved to Switzerland because he was so unpopular here. He was a.

• 54:26Speaker 04

  Because of the young girl thing or just because of other stuff?

• 54:28Bill Maher?

  No.

• 54:29Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:30Bill Maher?

  They didn't care about that.

• 54:31Speaker 04

  Didn't blink an eye? No.

• 54:32Bill Maher?

  No, but his politics were way too far left.

• 54:35Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 54:36Bill Maher?

  He was either a communist or he flirted with it. I can't, I don't want to quote, misquote.

• 54:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 54:43Bill Maher?

  But he was definitely on that. I mean, he was socialism plus at least. And so I feel like, yeah, they Hollywood, and of course, the world went from silent films in which.

• 54:57Speaker 04

  The talkies.

• 54:58Bill Maher?

  Yeah, genius was to talkies and he never.

• 55:02Speaker 04

  It's like the advent of social media where some people are just like, I can't, I don't know what to do with this.

• 55:06Bill Maher?

  I, than me, yeah.

• 55:08Speaker 04

  Well, you're doing fine. You're all over social media for someone who's not on it. You're everywhere on it.

• 55:12Bill Maher?

  Really?

• 55:13Speaker 04

  You get clipped a ton. Oh, yeah. I mean, your show and your podcast do a really good job on there. Shout out.

• 55:19Bill Maher?

  They do.

• 55:20Speaker 04

  They do. They really do. For you not really being involved in that, like you seem very much.

• 55:26Bill Maher?

  But also, I must say.

• 55:28Speaker 04

  I don't see you do dances. We need to get you doing that.

• 55:32Bill Maher?

  I just don't, maybe I'm missing it, but I, when I see other podcasts, I just don't see people getting quite as down and dirty.

• 55:41Speaker 04

  Yeah, no.

• 55:42Bill Maher?

  I feel like there is something about Club Red, I don't know whether it's these club cigarettes.

• 55:47Speaker 04

  I think it's you.

• 55:48Bill Maher?

  I can't put my, some of it's me, some of it's the people I like.

• 55:52Speaker 04

  Yeah, yes.

• 55:53Bill Maher?

  You know, and we feel like.

• 55:54Speaker 04

  It's just.

• 55:55Bill Maher?

  And there's nobody else in the room.

• 55:57Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's good, too.

• 55:58Bill Maher?

  We're just not, we don't have big, it's just, you just.

• 56:01Speaker 04

  And we don't have mics like in our faces.

• 56:03Bill Maher?

  That's what I'm saying.

• 56:04Speaker 04

  It makes you kind of forget that there's, cameras are kind of hidden.

• 56:06Bill Maher?

  I forget.

• 56:08Speaker 04

  Yeah, I, I have a couple of times during this as well, it's, it's nice. Because I just, yeah, that's why I've always liked you, is just, I've always felt, since we became friends, I can just be myself around, I mean, I was very nervous to meet you at first and like, I don't know anything about politics, how am I gonna hang out with him, it's just like, oh, he just likes people who are honest.

• 56:27Bill Maher?

  Yes.

• 56:28Speaker 04

  And, and then, and that's, that's what I like, too. But wait, what's your crazy, what's your crazy, what makes you wanna, what's, why are you?

• 56:35Bill Maher?

  What?

• 56:35Speaker 04

  Like, if everyone who's like drawn to comedy and, you know.

• 56:38Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 56:39Speaker 04

  What's, what's yours?

• 56:40Bill Maher?

  Um, that's a great question, I, I don't know, um, I'm pretty sane, I think, you know, I have my quirks, but cautious, you know, I feel like sane people are in general cautious.

• 56:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 56:58Bill Maher?

  Sometimes that can bleed over into paranoia, but a little bit of paranoia is not a bad thing, especially in the world where everybody's trying to get everybody.

• 57:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:05Bill Maher?

  So, excuse, excuse me for worrying about it. You know, no, the press is my friend.

• 57:10Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 57:11Bill Maher?

  I forgot.

• 57:12Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 57:14Bill Maher?

  No, nobody's your friend.

• 57:15Speaker 04

  No one is.

• 57:16Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, so we are, but like, I'm talking about like people, if they can use your hide to advance themselves, they, they will.

• 57:24Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 57:24Bill Maher?

  But, you know, I don't, so anyway, I just think I'm a cautious person.

• 57:29Speaker 04

  But you don't have like depression or.

• 57:30Bill Maher?

  I don't, I like, I don't do stupid things, like, people are always like, how did you get so rich? I'm like, never got married.

• 57:36Speaker 04

  Uh huh.

• 57:37Bill Maher?

  No divorces, no alimony, no stupid hobbies, I don't collect cars and motorcycles and jewelry and art and, none of that would give me any pleasure.

• 57:46Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:46Bill Maher?

  So, it was all gravy money, you know, it was a.

• 57:50Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 57:50Bill Maher?

  And I spend it on what I just, I don't need to live like.

• 57:54Speaker 04

  That's what I'm, I've been doing.

• 57:55Bill Maher?

  Just comfort.

• 57:56Speaker 04

  I'm working on a bit about it, but like I I spend my money on Taylor Swift concerts, like that's been my thing. I've been to 18 in 15 months.

• 58:04Bill Maher?

  Does she know this?

• 58:05Speaker 04

  She probably does because I talk about it a lot, but um I I just travel and go see her any chance I have because it's my the most fun thing imaginable to me and um and it's like you I can't really talk about it that much because people are just like oh, must be nice. You can afford that. And it's like I can because I don't have kids like

• 58:25Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 58:26Speaker 04

  The thi- this is cost is way cheaper than having a kid when I'm doing thousands of dollars on and this and yet you it's just like why don't people who have kids ever get comments like wow, must be nice to have kids. You're flaunting your privilege. It's like

• 58:41Bill Maher?

  Well.

• 58:41Speaker 04

  It's just it's so strange to me that um

• 58:45Bill Maher?

  I used to do a bit in my old act, I guess the maybe women thought it was sexist, but it was like, yeah, the the parents who like have twins in the school play, you know, you can get off work. What if I have twins in the hot tub?

• 59:02Speaker 04

  That's so good. That's so fun.

• 59:09Speaker 04

  It's uh, yeah, I mean, not having kids is just turning out to pay off so well every day that I

• 59:16Bill Maher?

  It's the best unless you love kids and then it's

• 59:18Speaker 04

  And yeah, it's I get it, but I just I'm really grateful that I just did something else that distracted me from it.

• 59:26Bill Maher?

  What a good opportunity for me to hear from someone this much of an authority on a subject I don't understand.

• 59:32Speaker 04

  Yeah, please.

• 59:33Bill Maher?

  I'm not putting Taylor Swift down at all. I I think she's a great celebrity and that and that she's so big and yet doesn't do anything too stu- so super crazy. She's gone out with a bunch of guys like not more than other chicks have over a course of 10 or 12 years.

• 59:50Speaker 04

  Exactly, yes.

• 59:51Bill Maher?

  And is she a little like I always need to have a girlfriend, a boyfriend? Yeah, but most chicks are that way. A lot of chicks are like that. I know a lot of girls. Doesn't make them bad. Yes, people don't like to be alone.

• 1:00:02Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:03Bill Maher?

  And then she writes songs. Okay, I just don't, again, not to put down, I just have no clue. Why she's at the level? Like if I was, did not know anything about it. And again, I'm not that familiar with the music.

• 1:00:17Speaker 04

  And I think it'd be-

• 1:00:18Bill Maher?

  But why the world decided that they don't agree I had anything, but we've agreed that she is the greatest singer-songwriter who ever came down the pike? It doesn't strike me this way.

• 1:00:27Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:00:27Bill Maher?

  Is there something else going on?

• 1:00:29Speaker 04

  You need to listen. Honestly, like, I think that-

• 1:00:32Bill Maher?

  It's the lyrics?

• 1:00:32Speaker 04

  It's the lyrics, it's the musicality, it's the melodies. Like, it's just, I'm a fan of music. I like good music. I was raised on good music. I was raised to, you know-

• 1:00:42Bill Maher?

  I will do it.

• 1:00:42Speaker 04

  My dad's, the way I am about to-

• 1:00:44Bill Maher?

  What album should I start with?

• 1:00:46Speaker 04

  I honestly think, because you should probably start with Folklore.

• 1:00:53Bill Maher?

  Folklore?

• 1:00:53Speaker 04

  I think Folklore. And I think that's when a lot of, I want to say, men got on board and said, wow, this is a legitimate artist.

• 1:00:59Bill Maher?

  What year was that?

• 1:01:00Speaker 04

  This was her first COVID album. She put out two albums during COVID.

• 1:01:04Bill Maher?

  Oh.

• 1:01:04Speaker 04

  And they're indie albums. They're like stripped down. She worked with a guy from The National, a band that is very well-loved. And she won, you know, Album of the Year for it. And it's, she's, it's really that. She's just a great musician. And, you know, for me, she kind of looks like me. She's kind of around the same age.

• 1:01:24Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:01:24Speaker 04

  Kind of has the same kind of voice. Kind of like, I like things that are like me. And that's probably why I initially was like, what's going on with her? And it just so happened she is one of the greatest artists that will ever live. And, you know, and she just possibly saved our democracy. I mean, that's the crazy thing.

• 1:01:41Bill Maher?

  Amazing power, yeah.

• 1:01:42Speaker 04

  Amazing power.

• 1:01:43Bill Maher?

  Yeah, we were talking about it on the show tonight. Absolutely.

• 1:01:46Speaker 04

  Unreal. It's, and I was a fan for a really long time before it really caught on like it did. And it's very validating to now be like, I'm not so crazy. But I am. I really, it's not normal for-

• 1:01:59Bill Maher?

  You can probably-

• 1:02:03Bill Maher?

  List on one hand and still have one to give somebody the finger, the number of people who got to that level. And again, Chaplin, I would say, is one of them. Maybe Frank Sinatra.

• 1:02:16Speaker 04

  Michael Jackson.

• 1:02:17Bill Maher?

  Elvis, The Beatles.

• 1:02:18Speaker 04

  Elvis, The Beatles.

• 1:02:19Bill Maher?

  But, you know, had real cultural impact and, uh, yeah. I mean, it's, uh, so, okay.

• 1:02:27Speaker 04

  Yeah, it really, it's the music, though. It's, you know, I want to say like, oh, she really speaks to the woman in me and speaks about breakups and love and emotions. And it's, and it's all of that, but it's really, I mean, there's just no question she's just a brilliant musical artist and just knows how to write a hit.

• 1:02:43Bill Maher?

  Wow.

• 1:02:43Speaker 04

  And just, it's, it.

• 1:02:45Bill Maher?

  Well.

• 1:02:45Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:02:46Bill Maher?

  I like "Sparks Fly."

• 1:02:48Speaker 04

  It's a great song.

• 1:02:50Bill Maher?

  Are there more like that?

• 1:02:51Speaker 04

  Yeah, okay, you're a Fearless girly, okay. You.

• 1:02:54Bill Maher?

  What does that mean?

• 1:02:56Speaker 04

  You, Fearless. Fearless is her first album, it's her second album.

• 1:03:00Bill Maher?

  If I wind up with one of those fucking bracelets, I'm gonna fucking beat your head with it.

• 1:03:05Speaker 04

  You, you, I will be sending you a bracelet because I really think, I think Fearless and.

• 1:03:09Bill Maher?

  Come on, not the bracelet.

• 1:03:10Speaker 04

  Fearless and Speak Now are gonna be your albums.

• 1:03:13Bill Maher?

  But not the bracelet.

• 1:03:14Speaker 04

  You're, you, it would look so cute on you. It really would, it would be such a nice touch.

• 1:03:18Bill Maher?

  Nikki, please. Because I'm begging you.

• 1:03:21Speaker 04

  I'm totally sending you one, there's no chance I'm not.

• 1:03:26Bill Maher?

  Come on, don't do it to me.

• 1:03:27Speaker 04

  But thank you for being open to it, that's all I ask.

• 1:03:28Bill Maher?

  I'm totally open to the music and I should have listened to it before now. I don't know, whenever something came on the radio, like "Shake It Off."

• 1:03:34Speaker 04

  If you like.

• 1:03:35Bill Maher?

  I mean, I, there's a song I do have heard.

• 1:03:38Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:03:38Bill Maher?

  And that's a song that made me go, what the fuck?

• 1:03:41Speaker 04

  Well, she wrote that song.

• 1:03:43Bill Maher?

  Okay, but, but like, I don't, I.

• 1:03:46Speaker 04

  That, that's, listen, I, I, it's okay to not like "Shake It Off."

• 1:03:50Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 1:03:51Speaker 04

  I'm not saying I don't like "Shake It Off", but it's okay to not like "Shake It Off." It's not, it's, it's just one of many different kinds of songs she has and, and she's, she's capable of a lot more than that, but that was.

• 1:04:01Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 1:04:02Speaker 04

  That was a moment, yeah. But you're gonna, you're gonna get into it. Have you ever, do you like going to concerts?

• 1:04:07Bill Maher?

  You know, that's another thing that I'm gonna put under that list of activities.

• 1:04:12Speaker 04

  I thought it was.

• 1:04:13Bill Maher?

  You know, it's like, I've been to concerts and I do have, love them, but it's a lot of mishegoss getting in and getting out.

• 1:04:20Speaker 04

  It is.

• 1:04:20Bill Maher?

  And, you know.

• 1:04:21Speaker 04

  And the encore.

• 1:04:22Bill Maher?

  Yeah, and lines of the bathroom.

• 1:04:25Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:04:25Bill Maher?

  It's just, it's just, it's a lot.

• 1:04:27Speaker 04

  It's a lot.

• 1:04:27Bill Maher?

  And getting out of the parking lot and.

• 1:04:29Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:04:30Bill Maher?

  You know, should we beat the crowd, but no, you wanna hear the best, you know, it's, it's a lot of people, some drinking, it's a.

• 1:04:37Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:37Bill Maher?

  I don't think, you know, I mean, that like, they filmed the Billy Joel concert that he's been doing.

• 1:04:43Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:04:44Bill Maher?

  Forever at Madison Square Garden, one of my all-time favorite artists, there's, there's a genius.

• 1:04:49Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:04:49Bill Maher?

  songwriter.

• 1:04:50Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, have you been to Madison Square?

• 1:04:52Bill Maher?

  No, because I saw the thing on TV.

• 1:04:54Speaker 04

  Cause you saw it, and it was nominated for an Emmy against me.

• 1:04:56Bill Maher?

  And, you know, did I feel it in my bones the way I would have if I was, but no.

• 1:05:00Speaker 04

  Kind of, sometimes.

• 1:05:02Bill Maher?

  But it's, it's still, it's, it was good enough.

• 1:05:04Speaker 04

  It's good enough.

• 1:05:05Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:05:05Speaker 04

  That's why I tell people about the Eras Tour, because you know.

• 1:05:07Bill Maher?

  I didn't have to smell his sweat, you know, I, I, I take your word, he sweat.

• 1:05:12Speaker 04

  Watch, watch the Eras movie, if you have Disney Plus.

• 1:05:15Bill Maher?

  I will.

• 1:05:15Speaker 04

  Just watch that, that'll give you like, that'll take you through her whole catalog. She's gorgeous.

• 1:05:19Bill Maher?

  It's made for me.

• 1:05:20Speaker 04

  It's really nice to watch.

• 1:05:21Bill Maher?

  Somebody who needs to be brought up to speed on the whole thing.

• 1:05:25Speaker 04

  Watch, watch, it's, it's like, it's three hours long, but just put it on.

• 1:05:28Bill Maher?

  Sure.

• 1:05:29Speaker 04

  And, and, and work your way through it and, and you'll have a good time.

• 1:05:32Bill Maher?

  Great, that's what I'll do.

• 1:05:34Speaker 04

  But I'm, yeah, I'm.

• 1:05:36Bill Maher?

  So it's like the best of each era.

• 1:05:37Speaker 04

  Yeah, that's what she does, she wa, and each era is an album, so it's like, you know, 10 or 11 albums at this point, and she just goes through each one, and it's, and it's awesome.

• 1:05:45Bill Maher?

  Well, I'm sure you will meet her someday, and we have a little surprise, Nikki, backstage.

• 1:05:51Speaker 04

  Can you imagine, she's been crouching there the whole time?

• 1:05:55Bill Maher?

  Tell her.

• 1:05:55Speaker 04

  I honestly got a little nervous.

• 1:05:57Bill Maher?

  Yes, she knows you're a fan and she wants to personally give you a.

• 1:06:01Speaker 04

  Oh, no, I am, I am so happy to be a fan, like, I wanna stay, like, I don't even, people are like, when are you gonna be friends, of course I'll be friends with her if she wants to, but I'm not forcing it, and I love being a fan.

• 1:06:12Bill Maher?

  No, I did do some jokes about, you know, my boyfriend's a football player.

• 1:06:17Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:17Bill Maher?

  Which.

• 1:06:18Speaker 04

  I've seen him.

• 1:06:19Bill Maher?

  Do you think that?

• 1:06:20Speaker 04

  I've scrolled past anger.

• 1:06:21Bill Maher?

  Oh, really?

• 1:06:22Speaker 04

  I'm not gonna like those.

• 1:06:23Bill Maher?

  That made you mad?

• 1:06:24Speaker 04

  No, no, of course not.

• 1:06:25Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 1:06:25Speaker 04

  I do, uh, I do, um, it hasn't started yet as we're talking about this, but by the time this airs, it will have happened. I do, um, for Thursday Night Football for Amazon, I do their after show. I do like a speed roast of the football game.

• 1:06:37Bill Maher?

  Oh, wow.

• 1:06:38Speaker 04

  That I write during the football game and then do a little like, kind of...

• 1:06:41Bill Maher?

  Wait, where is this? Where am I gonna see this?

• 1:06:43Speaker 04

  On, uh, on Amazon, uh, Prime.

• 1:06:46Bill Maher?

  Yeah, the Thursday.

• 1:06:47Speaker 04

  Thursday Night Football, like on their after show.

• 1:06:48Bill Maher?

  I just watched it.

• 1:06:49Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:06:50Bill Maher?

  Did you do it Thursday night?

• 1:06:52Speaker 04

  No, I'm, I'm starting this, this next Thursday.

• 1:06:54Bill Maher?

  I didn't miss it. Oh, perfect.

• 1:06:55Speaker 04

  Yeah, it'll be like a three-minute roast of the game. And I don't know anything about, I mean, I'm learning about football. It's like, honestly, I'm trying really hard, but it's, it's, it's a really complex game. But it's fun. And I'm, I'm looking to get obsessed because I, you know, Thursday Night Football's not gonna be on tour forever. And I need like a new thing to become like obsessed with going to, because I really like going to like stadium.

• 1:07:17Bill Maher?

  So the 18th time, not over it in any...

• 1:07:21Speaker 04

  Not over it at all. You get to dress up like her. You get to like dance and sing all night. I'm not thinking about any of my problems. I feel young.

• 1:07:30Bill Maher?

  Who do you go with?

• 1:07:31Speaker 04

  I bring like friends. I bring my, my mom's been to like eight shows with me.

• 1:07:34Bill Maher?

  Wow.

• 1:07:34Speaker 04

  I bring my, I brought my parents to, uh, we went to Dublin, we went to Zurich, and we went to Amsterdam three times. Like, I just followed her around the summer. And I bring out friends, I just fly out friends that I think like, I'd like fly out you. I'd be like, you, you can be convinced, come with me. And then, would you go?

• 1:07:52Bill Maher?

  If I have to give in on the bracelet?

• 1:07:55Speaker 04

  You have to wear a bracelet.

• 1:07:57Bill Maher?

  But no, not now.

• 1:07:57Speaker 04

  I bring people who are kind of on the fence and I go, just come with me.

• 1:08:01Bill Maher?

  Okay, no, I'll watch it.

• 1:08:02Speaker 04

  Okay, yes, yes.

• 1:08:03Bill Maher?

  Look, if I wouldn't leave the house for Billy Joel.

• 1:08:05Speaker 04

  I can't afford another ticket, to be honest with you, Bill, so that was a, a false invite.

• 1:08:09Bill Maher?

  How much are the tickets?

• 1:08:10Speaker 04

  I mean, they're crazy. I'm, I'm gonna try to go front row in Miami. And I think it's like maybe gonna be 10 grand for one ticket.

• 1:08:17Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:08:18Speaker 04

  But, you know, that's, I don't...

• 1:08:20Bill Maher?

  And you can get front row?

• 1:08:22Speaker 04

  You know, they're resellers that are just, they're marked up on StubHub, but it's, I'll wait till the day of and see what happens. But yeah, I've, I've, I've spent a lot. I think the most I've spent is like seventy or five hundred dollars a ticket for my mom and I to be front row one time. It was so fun, and I never get tired of it. And people go, is the show, what does she do differently each time?

• 1:08:41Bill Maher?

  So you already were in the front row?

• 1:08:42Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:08:43Bill Maher?

  And did she acknowledge you?

• 1:08:45Speaker 04

  There's so many people in the front row, it's a big stage. No, no, no, and I wouldn't expect it.

• 1:08:50Bill Maher?

  You didn't think you saw a little something in the eye like, oh, hey.

• 1:08:53Speaker 04

  I don't even want her to like, look at me. I just feel like it'd be too distracting, no.

• 1:08:57Bill Maher?

  God, that's what they used to say about Jesus in the old religion movies. They would, he would, there would just be a glow, and the camera couldn't even show it because he was Jesus.

• 1:09:06Speaker 04

  Oh, wow.

• 1:09:06Bill Maher?

  And then the people would just look down.

• 1:09:08Speaker 04

  I almost feel that way.

• 1:09:10Bill Maher?

  That's really disturbing.

• 1:09:14Bill Maher?

  Because, you know what's disturbing about that? Like, if she said, "Vote for Trump," then he'd win.

• 1:09:20Speaker 04

  I know.

• 1:09:21Bill Maher?

  Oh, that's not good.

• 1:09:22Speaker 04

  I know, but she didn't.

• 1:09:24Bill Maher?

  No.

• 1:09:25Speaker 04

  So, I'm okay with it.

• 1:09:27Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:09:28Speaker 04

  I'm okay with her power, as long as she's on the right side of things.

• 1:09:31Bill Maher?

  I think I said this tonight on our show. Trump, that's a cult, but so is this. It is a cult. And, you know, maybe a cult leader can be, you know, good for good and not evil. I think she generally is, that's why I say. I have no reason to put her down or desire to, and I always have the greatest respect for a success. But if you are at a level of success that's enormous, that always has my attention, my respect.

• 1:09:56Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:09:57Bill Maher?

  I could look at it and go, well, you know, that's because people don't have great taste. I could, I'm not saying about her. I certainly have said that about other things that were massive. Not everything that's massive means it's great.

• 1:10:09Speaker 04

  No, I agree, I agree. And a lot of times, it's not. Most of the time, it's a bad sign if it's massively popular.

• 1:10:15Bill Maher?

  Don't get me started on... Writer's embellishment. Hot pockets, I don't know.

• 1:10:21Speaker 04

  Many things that our friends have appeared in.

• 1:10:24Bill Maher?

  Yeah, and things, and cultural things that people think are great milestones that I don't.

• 1:10:29Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:10:30Bill Maher?

  But I do respect, and I do respect what she has achieved. And yeah, you're right. This, you know, elections that we have now are so close, razor sharp. I mean, Trump won the first one. He pulled an inside straight. And basically with, I mean, 70,000 votes or something, was it across three states? Something so small. I mean, she registered like 400,000 people. I mean, right there could be the difference.

• 1:11:00Speaker 04

  It's insane.

• 1:11:01Bill Maher?

  That's a, that's a number.

• 1:11:02Speaker 04

  Well, that's how many people went to The Link. Did that many people register from The Link?

• 1:11:08Bill Maher?

  That's what I read, but I don't, but I don't know.

• 1:11:11Speaker 04

  That makes me sad. Like, how have you, how is this the reason that you do it? And I'm glad it's the reason, whatever gets you to do it, but really?

• 1:11:18Bill Maher?

  So do you get like a, is there a fan club, a newsletter? Is there, no, like, The Beatles used to put out a special Christmas album just for the fans. Not an album, one song. They would sing some chantee or something.

• 1:11:31Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:11:31Bill Maher?

  And you just, do you have something like this with the Taylor Swift?

• 1:11:34Speaker 04

  She does stuff for, she's constantly doing stuff for us. Like, she sees us. That's another thing that's like.

• 1:11:39Bill Maher?

  But there's no formal club?

• 1:11:40Speaker 04

  Oh, there's, there's no formal club that she's created, but there's formal, there's clubs which we have created as fans ourselves.

• 1:11:46Bill Maher?

  And what if I wanted to join the club?

• 1:11:48Speaker 04

  You would absolutely be, yeah.

• 1:11:50Bill Maher?

  No, only if it was a formal club. I'm not just fucking around. I want the Christmas records.

• 1:11:56Speaker 04

  She's not giving us any, no, she gives everyone equal stuff. I don't think there's any club where you get like special releases or something.

• 1:12:02Bill Maher?

  Do you want my prediction about the love affair?

• 1:12:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, I have one too, but I'm not gonna share it. But yeah.

• 1:12:08Bill Maher?

  I think, I said this, Harvey Levin and I have a gentleman's bed about it. He's gonna dump her. It's just what guys like that do. They get the fuck stink on them of like a celebrity woman. And then they're a made man for the rest of their life. And that's what's gonna happen. It's like, you know, Pete Davidson, as soon as he got with Ariana Grande, he was a made man for the rest of his life. And I feel like this is what's gonna happen. If I ruin your night.

• 1:12:39Speaker 04

  Quite possibly. I think Travis is different. I think he's different. I've met him. He's a very nice guy.

• 1:12:46Bill Maher?

  Oh, he's a charmer.

• 1:12:48Speaker 04

  He is a charmer. He's very talented. I just don't think you let's, I think Taylor Swift isn't, you just don't let something like that go.

• 1:12:55Bill Maher?

  Like?

• 1:12:56Speaker 04

  He knows what he, he knows what he has.

• 1:12:59Bill Maher?

  Spoken like a true cultist.

• 1:13:01Speaker 04

  Truly. You don't get better than that.

• 1:13:04Bill Maher?

  Well.

• 1:13:04Speaker 04

  And he.

• 1:13:05Bill Maher?

  Of course, you don't know what goes, I mean, you only know her from afar.

• 1:13:08Speaker 04

  Yes, yes, yes.

• 1:13:09Bill Maher?

  I mean, we, no one knows what goes on.

• 1:13:11Speaker 04

  Speculate all day, but yes, of course.

• 1:13:12Bill Maher?

  In a relationship or what people are like. I mean, why do you think he's stuck if he's the one and all the other? I mean, there was the actor guy, the English actor guy, the other English actor guy. And wasn't the guy from 1975, didn't he have a cup of coffee with her?

• 1:13:31Speaker 04

  Yeah, but this, this guy is a, Travis is lucid and of like he's.

• 1:13:39Bill Maher?

  Lucid?

• 1:13:39Speaker 04

  Like he's.

• 1:13:40Bill Maher?

  The others weren't?

• 1:13:41Speaker 04

  Kinda. I would argue.

• 1:13:43Bill Maher?

  The English actor dudes, they look very lucid.

• 1:13:46Speaker 04

  No, okay, then, I can't speculate, but I think that, I don't know. I can't say anything. I can't. And it's not a cult, but I swear, something will hap, something horrible will happen to me if I speak ill of our leader.

• 1:14:02Bill Maher?

  I mean, the rules are the same as Scientology, but it's not a cult.

• 1:14:07Speaker 04

  It is, it's so delicate that I'm like, I can't even talk because it's like.

• 1:14:12Bill Maher?

  I know what it's like to be treated, well, to be treated like a suppressive person. You don't want to be a suppressive person. I get it. Oh, I get it.

• 1:14:20Speaker 04

  Oh, you do?

• 1:14:20Bill Maher?

  Let's move on. No, I don't want to put you, I mean, you seem genuinely.

• 1:14:26Speaker 04

  It's honestly is that if you're a Swiftie, like you can't, you can't have anything bad to say. And I honestly, I'm checking myself. I'm like, I honestly don't have anything bad to say, but I definitely can't even like have a conversation around bad things. That is how much.

• 1:14:39Bill Maher?

  I was talking about the boyfriend, not, I mean, John Mayer and who, all the guy.

• 1:14:43Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would, you know, like those didn't work out because she didn't want them to.

• 1:14:52Speaker 04

  That's what I would say.

• 1:14:52Bill Maher?

  You know what, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs. And, I mean, like I said before, just like any other girl of that age, she's had a bunch of boyfriends. Who hasn't?

• 1:15:02Speaker 04

  Who hasn't?

• 1:15:03Bill Maher?

  Especially if you're an attractive girl like her.

• 1:15:05Speaker 04

  Yeah, and

• 1:15:05Bill Maher?

  She makes her own money.

• 1:15:07Speaker 04

  Famous, and the kind of guys that are like coming at you.

• 1:15:09Bill Maher?

  She could pay for dinner.

• 1:15:10Speaker 04

  And everyone knows you're single. Like, of course she's gonna jump into something new. The second she gets single, it's on headlines. People are DMing her, reaching out to her. You find someone new right away. Most girls, they're single and they have to wait around on Bumble for weeks. Like, who do you even tell? Like, everyone knows, and it's famous hot dudes who are so talented, who you may have had a crush on even before you were with that guy, who you may have watched their movies as a kid growing up. Like, it'd be so easy to just jump from guy to guy in Hollywood.

• 1:15:37Bill Maher?

  Of course.

• 1:15:38Speaker 04

  I'm looking to, but I gotta be stuck with this guy for the rest of my life 'cause he loves me for me. It's bullshit. Do you know who I could be dating right now? Oh, my God. I could, I could really, I could do well.

• 1:15:51Bill Maher?

  Who?

• 1:15:52Speaker 04

  I mean, I don't know.

• 1:15:53Bill Maher?

  You could.

• 1:15:53Speaker 04

  But I could do, I could do well.

• 1:15:55Bill Maher?

  By the way, take this for what it mean. You look the best I've ever seen you look. Now, maybe you, I always have this thing I say about the Oscars.

• 1:16:04Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:04Bill Maher?

  Like, it's the most attractive people. Very often, the actresses are the most attractive, the Margot Robbie's of the world.

• 1:16:10Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:16:11Bill Maher?

  And they're 10s. And somehow, on Oscar night, they find a way to turn it up to 11.

• 1:16:16Speaker 04

  Yeah, they find a way.

• 1:16:17Bill Maher?

  I don't know whether it's a colonic or like the things, whatever it is. And you look like you turned it up to 11.

• 1:16:23Speaker 04

  I did.

• 1:16:24Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you just.

• 1:16:25Speaker 04

  I had a lot of treatments this week. I saw the right nacta.

• 1:16:28Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 1:16:32Speaker 04

  I saw the right guy. I found out who to go to.

• 1:16:34Bill Maher?

  Yeah, so you're right. You could definitely be a half of a power couple.

• 1:16:39Speaker 04

  I could. And you know what? It is, that's how you become famous.

• 1:16:44Bill Maher?

  That's

• 1:16:45Speaker 04

  It's it. It's most of it. I have to like fucking work hard now, when I could just go and date.

• 1:16:50Bill Maher?

  I could have done that.

• 1:16:53Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:16:53Bill Maher?

  Twenty-five, twenty years ago, there were opera, and I was like, no. You know what? I'm not gonna, and I knew it would help me a lot, but I'm not gonna do this to this woman because a week later, I'll be with some other woman out in a restaurant, and then she'll be humiliated. I'm just not gonna, it's just not gonna end well.

• 1:17:14Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:17:14Bill Maher?

  And so I never did.

• 1:17:15Speaker 04

  Oh, that's noble.

• 1:17:16Bill Maher?

  Yeah, well, it was also self-preservation, and it would come back and, you know, who wants an A-list woman mad at you?

• 1:17:23Speaker 04

  No, you're so right.

• 1:17:24Bill Maher?

  Okay, so, and I knew I couldn't live up to it, so, but, yes, like, there are, this town is full of guys who want exactly what you're selling. Famous, still hot, perfect cougar age. They, this town is full of pretty boys who want someone ten years old.

• 1:17:41Speaker 04

  And who would introduce me, me, as an older woman, to a whole new audience? So I would be the...

• 1:17:45Bill Maher?

  Yes, it would be...

• 1:17:46Speaker 04

  It'd be amazing.

• 1:17:47Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:17:48Speaker 04

  I gotta call Chris.

• 1:17:50Bill Maher?

  Poor Chris.

• 1:17:51Speaker 04

  Chris wants, if he's supportive of my career, he needs to step aside.

• 1:17:55Bill Maher?

  I mean, I, I love him, so I feel like it was a terrible thing to say, but it is true. Let's do it, let's act it out just as a fantasy, because I think you could be with, let's see, who's available? Jake Gyllenhaal?

• 1:18:07Speaker 04

  Um, I think he's in something. I don't think I could get him, to be honest with you.

• 1:18:11Bill Maher?

  Yeah, that's, yeah, he's not...

• 1:18:13Speaker 04

  A foul-mouthed comedian, I'm not gonna get an A-lister. Like, I might get a young A-lister, but not an old, maybe...

• 1:18:20Bill Maher?

  I, I don't know.

• 1:18:21Speaker 04

  I don't know either. I, I really don't even, I just know that I could have some fun and be photographed with some people, but I don't know if I, anything would last or anything, but that is a big part of it, I mean...

• 1:18:33Bill Maher?

  I remember, um, Chris Evans?

• 1:18:36Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:18:36Bill Maher?

  Got with Jenny Slate?

• 1:18:38Speaker 04

  Yes, oh, that was so big for female comics that day, that broke. We were like, we can do it! He likes, he likes us for our personality, a guy like that? No, I mean, she's stunning, but I mean, like, it was still, like, so...

• 1:18:51Bill Maher?

  So, if that happens?

• 1:18:52Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:18:53Bill Maher?

  Okay, I think we have to think of that as the model.

• 1:18:56Speaker 04

  Yes.

• 1:18:57Bill Maher?

  So if that happens, I don't know, he just, he's a newlywed, so he's, he's not on the market.

• 1:19:03Speaker 04

  No, he's not.

• 1:19:04Bill Maher?

  Who's in, oh, you know?

• 1:19:06Speaker 04

  I think, I think I know who you're thinking.

• 1:19:08Bill Maher?

  Okay, I know.

• 1:19:10Speaker 04

  Listen, I've thought about it, too.

• 1:19:16Bill Maher?

  I don't know what they, it must have spiked my drink or something.

• 1:19:18Speaker 04

  No, it's awesome.

• 1:19:19Bill Maher?

  So I can't think of his name, but he's like the new.

• 1:19:22Speaker 04

  We don't need to say his name. I know. We both know exactly. I, I'll show you a picture and you just say yes. Or wait, hold on, where's my phone?

• 1:19:28Bill Maher?

  I could, I could tell you what he was in.

• 1:19:31Speaker 04

  Well, yeah.

• 1:19:31Bill Maher?

  He was in, uh, it was not really good, but he's a charming guy. He, it was, it was the, the lady from Euphoria.

• 1:19:45Speaker 04

  Okay. Wait, wait, wait. Maybe we're not thinking of the same person.

• 1:19:48Bill Maher?

  No. Who's the blonde? Uh, Sydney Sweeney. He did a.

• 1:19:57Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:19:57Bill Maher?

  That guy.

• 1:19:58Speaker 04

  Yeah. Sure. The, yeah.

• 1:20:00Bill Maher?

  That guy would put you into the stratosphere. And he, and he's, he's a smart guy. He's not, he also wrote a movie with somebody that was good about a hitman or something. Not that that's original, but they had an interesting take on it.

• 1:20:12Speaker 04

  We liked it. Yeah.

• 1:20:13Bill Maher?

  And he's just a.

• 1:20:14Speaker 04

  No, that's like the perfect kind of person that I'm like, huh, could I? And probably not, but it's, it would.

• 1:20:20Bill Maher?

  No, a lot of, cause a lot of time, you know what? And don't take this the wrong way. And of course, when someone.

• 1:20:25Speaker 04

  I can't wait for this. Holy shit. I can't even wa, oh, what, what's this gonna be?

• 1:20:30Bill Maher?

  Whenever a comic says the words, don't take this.

• 1:20:32Speaker 04

  Don't take this wrong. It's about to be the most offensive thing I've ever heard.

• 1:20:35Bill Maher?

  It's really not.

• 1:20:36Speaker 04

  Okay. No, I, I, I trust you.

• 1:20:38Bill Maher?

  But you look great. But a lot of times, those kind of pretty boys, they don't want the prettiest girl.

• 1:20:45Speaker 04

  No, and that's why I'm perfect.

• 1:20:47Bill Maher?

  So.

• 1:20:48Speaker 04

  That's, it is. I'm not, I'm not a Margot Ra, I'm nowhere close to it. So let's get like, they want, yeah, I think it would actually be the right thing. Yeah. I'm a little off.

• 1:20:58Bill Maher?

  Who you, who have we been working with on the road lately? You, you see comics more. I don't see other comics.

• 1:21:04Speaker 04

  I don't. I don't work with anyone on the road. I mean, I bring up my friends to open for me.

• 1:21:07Bill Maher?

  Right. Like.

• 1:21:08Speaker 04

  But.

• 1:21:08Bill Maher?

  Like who are the up and coming comics I should be keeping an eye on?

• 1:21:12Speaker 04

  My friend just got, um, my friend who I brought out and who I feel like I partially discovered, he was like, uh, the guy who picked me up. I was doing the Comedy Attic in Bloomington, Indiana.

• 1:21:23Bill Maher?

  The Comedy Attic?

• 1:21:24Speaker 04

  Yeah, in Bloomington, Indiana, great club in Bloomington, Indiana. Years and years and years ago, probably eight years ago, and 10 years ago. And he picked me, he was the, he was the door guy that they sent to go pick you up at the airport. And he instantly was my friend on the car ride, hour and a half from Indy. I'm just, I love this kid. I gave him a guest set that weekend. I'm like, you do comedy? I don't even need to see it. You're great. Let's do a guest set. He became my opener on the road for many years, up until even recently. And he just got cast on SNL.

• 1:21:51Bill Maher?

  Ah.

• 1:21:52Speaker 04

  Emile Joakim. Yeah, so that was really exciting. He's this young, 26, I think. And he's a cast member.

• 1:21:59Bill Maher?

  By the way, the Comedy Attic, I have to say, of all the comedy names I've used for comedy clubs, like The Comedy Barrel, or, you know, Uncle Chuckles.

• 1:22:11Speaker 04

  That was a pretty good one. Wait, Rooster Teeth Feathers is one of my favorites. Go Bananas.

• 1:22:17Bill Maher?

  I think I worked at Go Bananas.

• 1:22:18Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, Cincinnati, yeah.

• 1:22:21Bill Maher?

  Oh, man. I was in Atlanta last weekend at the lovely Fox Theater, I believe it's there, and played it many times. And for some reason, when I was driving in, I just was like flooded with memories of the first time I played Atlanta.

• 1:22:37Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah? What club?

• 1:22:40Bill Maher?

  It was 1982. It was, what was it? I don't know. But it was run by three Italian guys. And when I say Italian, I'm not saying that there were any connections to, but who knows, you know? But it was 1982, and they were from Cleveland. That's where they had, I think they had the comedy club in Cleveland. But Cleveland is cold, and there were probably turf wars, and God knows where. And they were like, let's find paradise.

• 1:23:10Speaker 04

  In Atlanta.

• 1:23:11Bill Maher?

  In the south, where the women are easy, and it's warm. And they opened this club, and it was like, when the comedy was just first versioning like that. And so like, the audiences were so good. You know, they were just, they were like, they had been starred for laughing. You'd think they'd never laughed in their life.

• 1:23:31Speaker 04

  That's so fascinating. Yeah, they would, you would never go somewhere just to laugh. Like, it was.

• 1:23:36Bill Maher?

  Oh, they just, and they were, you know, I remember doing it right before I did my first Tonight Show, and thinking, oh, my God, I am the greatest comic who ever got on a stage. You know, you just, and they were just, just because they were. You know, it was a new thing.

• 1:23:50Speaker 04

  Mm-hmm.

• 1:23:51Bill Maher?

  And I think we did three shows on the weekend nights.

• 1:23:55Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

• 1:23:56Bill Maher?

  Seven thirty, nine thirty, and eleven thirty.

• 1:23:58Speaker 04

  Oh, my god. Brutal. Where you don't even remember what jokes you've done on the other shows. So you start almost repeating yourself on...

• 1:24:05Bill Maher?

  That's a nightmare that I...

• 1:24:07Speaker 04

  A nightmare.

• 1:24:07Bill Maher?

  I have such a fear of that. I only did it once my whole life.

• 1:24:10Speaker 04

  I do two shows nights sometimes.

• 1:24:12Bill Maher?

  But it was so traumatic.

• 1:24:13Speaker 04

  And I go, and I'll be in the middle of a joke, and I go, "Did I already say this?" And they're like, "No." I'm like, "Oh, I'm too old to be doing two shows in a night." You just quit. And then you don't do jokes that you think you did.

• 1:24:22Bill Maher?

  But if you do two shows, you have to stick to a script.

• 1:24:25Speaker 04

  I know, and I don't have a script.

• 1:24:27Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:24:27Speaker 04

  I'm always just picking willy-nilly. That's all. That's how I do it.

• 1:24:31Bill Maher?

  Wow.

• 1:24:32Speaker 04

  And so, yeah, that's what I'll switch to.

• 1:24:35Bill Maher?

  See, you're a real artist.

• 1:24:36Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:24:36Bill Maher?

  You just get up there and wing.

• 1:24:38Speaker 04

  I do. It's lazy.

• 1:24:40Bill Maher?

  I mean, it goes back to the same bits, right, that you've done?

• 1:24:43Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah, yeah. But it's not off the top of my head. No, that would be hell. I'm not that kind of comic. But, um, yeah, it's all stuff that I've thought of before. But it's just like, I just pull from it as I go. And just kind... And again, that's like, it's kind of like I was just talking about getting face stuff done. Like, I like the risk in it. Like, I don't have a fucking safety net. I don't have a set list written down. Like, what am I gonna do? Like, and if I get too comfortable, I'll have a little weed before I go onstage because I go, "Then it's gonna be really hard to figure out what I'm gonna do next." Because I'm like, "Hi." And like, I like a little, I like the adrenaline of like, what's gonna happen? I could die. That's why I like, that's why I kill on roast. That's why I kill on like, live, like, I, you know, doing, you know, couches on late-night shows. Like, stuff where you have to have like, a script memorized, and you gotta nail it,

• 1:25:28Speaker 04

  and it's live, and everything can go wrong. I really thrive in those settings.

• 1:25:32Bill Maher?

  Well, I mean, that's when I, when I first, you know this story, but, you know, I saw you do whatever was the ones you used to do.

• 1:25:39Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, Comedy Central. Yeah, yeah.

• 1:25:41Bill Maher?

  And I just said, "Okay." I mean, I've always been pretty good at spotting the talent.

• 1:25:46Speaker 04

  Oh.

• 1:25:47Bill Maher?

  And I was like, yeah, and then "Tahai," and, but, I mean, even before that, I mean, you can just tell who's got it.

• 1:25:54Speaker 04

  Well, that's really...

• 1:25:55Bill Maher?

  But it is, the more I hear you talk about it, it is, I do think the two things are connected, the genius and the madness, because, you know,

• 1:26:01Speaker 04

  all of those.

• 1:26:02Bill Maher?

  anybody who wants to live that much on the tightrope,

• 1:26:07Bill Maher?

  that's, you know, you're gonna be a little...

• 1:26:10Speaker 04

  You gotta be a little crazy. I don't do well with like...

• 1:26:12Bill Maher?

  And, uh...

• 1:26:14Speaker 04

  Safety.

• 1:26:15Bill Maher?

  But I think, I think the, uh... What's his name? You know.

• 1:26:22Speaker 04

  You think I got a chance?

• 1:26:23Bill Maher?

  Yeah, definitely. Because I think he, yeah. Because those pretty boys, it's almost like the usual, the conventional male-female dynamic is very often reversed. Because for them, it was easy always.

• 1:26:39Speaker 04

  Right.

• 1:26:40Bill Maher?

  Most guys, like, it's the greatest sunum bonum in life is that you can get a girl who you want to have sex with.

• 1:26:46Speaker 04

  Sunum bonum, what did you just say?

• 1:26:47Bill Maher?

  The greatest good.

• 1:26:48Speaker 04

  What was it? What did you say?

• 1:26:50Bill Maher?

  Oh, sorry.

• 1:26:51Speaker 04

  No, I want to learn a new word. I like it.

• 1:26:52Bill Maher?

  It's Latin. It's sunum bonum means the greatest.

• 1:26:55Speaker 04

  Sunum bonum?

• 1:26:56Bill Maher?

  Yeah.

• 1:26:56Speaker 04

  All right, I like it. I would have been listening to this podcast and been like, what is that word? And looked it up and added it to my word-a-day counter. I love learning new words.

• 1:27:04Bill Maher?

  Sorry.

• 1:27:04Speaker 04

  No!

• 1:27:05Bill Maher?

  Jordan Peterson was here. I'm still talking.

• 1:27:06Speaker 04

  No, I like it. I yearn to talk that way.

• 1:27:09Bill Maher?

  The greatest good.

• 1:27:10Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:11Bill Maher?

  And that was always like, if you're not that that pretty boy type, or like a rock star or something, you know, you just never have had that automatic, you know, faucet turned on and it's just flowing out of it. You're just like, every time you get any girl to like you, you're thinking, this could be the last time.

• 1:27:29Speaker 04

  Yeah, yeah, yeah.

• 1:27:30Bill Maher?

  This could be the last time.

• 1:27:31Speaker 04

  Do you feel that way?

• 1:27:32Bill Maher?

  No.

• 1:27:32Speaker 04

  Do you still have that?

• 1:27:33Bill Maher?

  But I did when I was that, when I was young. Of course, absolutely. I very often got with someone who I shouldn't have been with because I was like, I'm in this, I'm in, no other girl might ever like me. I mean, that's really where.

• 1:27:47Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:27:48Bill Maher?

  How painful it is to be that young and dumb. So.

• 1:27:52Speaker 04

  So I need to take advantage of that? Is what you're saying?

• 1:27:57Speaker 04

  All right. I'll get out there again.

• 1:27:59Bill Maher?

  I think, yeah, so like, something a little challenging.

• 1:28:03Speaker 04

  Okay, I have something new to bring up with couples therapy this week.

• 1:28:05Bill Maher?

  Is the different, is the different, guys like strange. For a guy like that, strange is not, you know, Margot Robbie.

• 1:28:15Bill Maher?

  He, you know, he's known that.

• 1:28:17Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:28:18Bill Maher?

  He, you know, but, you know, and also like.

• 1:28:23Speaker 04

  Wait, aren't you friends with my boyfriend?

• 1:28:25Bill Maher?

  Love him, love him.

• 1:28:27Speaker 04

  You're really selling me this new story.

• 1:28:30Bill Maher?

  Well, it wouldn't last.

• 1:28:31Speaker 04

  He'll open things up.

• 1:28:32Bill Maher?

  First of all, it wouldn't last for more than a year.

• 1:28:35Speaker 04

  And then he'd have me back.

• 1:28:37Bill Maher?

  It would just give you the publicity for that year. It would put you in the stratosphere.

• 1:28:42Speaker 04

  I think he'd be on board with this to be honest. Okay, yes.

• 1:28:45Bill Maher?

  And you just said you're bored with each other. It would be so hot, so hot when you got back together.

• 1:28:51Speaker 04

  Oh, my God.

• 1:28:52Bill Maher?

  But, um, but yeah, and of course, this wouldn't last more than a year, but it's fine. But it'd be a great year, and I think he'd have a great time. I think it's.

• 1:29:02Speaker 04

  Yeah, he should go, go do some stuff too.

• 1:29:04Bill Maher?

  And it'd be very hot while you're in it. It would. I'm telling you.

• 1:29:07Speaker 04

  Okay, I'll consider it. I truly.

• 1:29:13Speaker 04

  I like how it's just up to me to make it for this to happen. I'll think about dating Glenn Powell.

• 1:29:19Bill Maher?

  Oh, that's him.

• 1:29:21Speaker 04

  Because I know people are listening going, well, who are they talking about?

• 1:29:25Bill Maher?

  That's him.

• 1:29:29Bill Maher?

  Well, there was this actress named Ellen Bergen.

• 1:29:32Speaker 04

  Oh, yeah.

• 1:29:33Bill Maher?

  She was, I thought she was hot, but she wasn't like the classic.

• 1:29:38Speaker 04

  She got like hot in her 60s.

• 1:29:41Bill Maher?

  Okay.

• 1:29:46Speaker 04

  You're okay. It's so funny.

• 1:29:48Bill Maher?

  Exactly.

• 1:29:50Speaker 04

  No, she did. I mean, okay, what were you gonna say? I thought that's what you were gonna say. Sorry. What were you gonna say?

• 1:29:54Bill Maher?

  Well, she, I mean, I think you're a lot cuter than her, and she was, I thought she was cute, but she didn't, certainly did not have that that classic look, and she was the hot one. Everybody, you know.

• 1:30:06Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:30:07Bill Maher?

  Yeah, she was, and before that, there was a woman, when I was a kid, Karen Black. She kind of was cross-eyed, but she was sexy.

• 1:30:16Speaker 04

  Okay, I'll work on that.

• 1:30:17Bill Maher?

  Like, I'm telling you from personal experience in life, the absolute prettiest ones are not always the ones where there's the greatest sexual attraction.

• 1:30:27Speaker 04

  Okay.

• 1:30:28Bill Maher?

  And stuff like, you know, so like, it doesn't make it hotter, like a vapid model who looks the best, it can be like.

• 1:30:39Bill Maher?

  Death in bed.

• 1:30:40Speaker 04

  Oh, oh, yeah. I'm sure of it.

• 1:30:43Bill Maher?

  Right.

• 1:30:44Speaker 04

  Not that I'm anything to...

• 1:30:46Bill Maher?

  No, I think we all look at you...

• 1:30:48Speaker 04

  I'm pretty fun.

• 1:30:49Bill Maher?

  I think we all look at you and think...

• 1:30:52Speaker 04

  Really?

• 1:30:52Bill Maher?

  You're fun. Yeah, I do.

• 1:30:54Speaker 04

  That makes me so happy.

• 1:30:55Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you have a lot of masturbating fans. I'm sure you do.

• 1:30:59Speaker 04

  Okay, that's nice. I'm not like that. Like, I'm not anyone... I never... I don't really like to be on top because it just doesn't feel that good for me. I will for the person, but like, I'm kind of a laid back, but I'm very... I talk a lot.

• 1:31:11Bill Maher?

  Guys like that.

• 1:31:12Speaker 04

  Yeah.

• 1:31:13Bill Maher?

  They like the domination.

• 1:31:14Speaker 04

  Yes, I like that. Like, I don't really...

• 1:31:16Bill Maher?

  Of course.

• 1:31:17Speaker 04

  And that's the problem, is that a lot of times, men are attracted to what they see on stage with me of like, ballbuster, roaster. I'm like, in bed, I am the literal opposite.

• 1:31:26Bill Maher?

  And see, that's even better, because it's like, she's a ballbuster, she's a ballbuster, she's a ballbuster. And then when I get my dick in her, she obeys.

• 1:31:34Speaker 04

  Yes, daddy. Yes, exactly. Yes.

• 1:31:36Bill Maher?

  Okay, well, there's nothing hotter... There's nothing hotter than that.

• 1:31:38Speaker 04

  People Magazine Most Beautiful Person of the Year. They're calling right now.

• 1:31:42Bill Maher?

  Glenn Powell is on speed dial as we...

• 1:31:47Speaker 04

  Where's my phone?

• 1:31:48Bill Maher?

  All right, well, I'm gonna let you get out to your parties to... Because he's probably at one of these parties tonight.

• 1:31:53Speaker 04

  All right.

• 1:31:53Bill Maher?

  Right?

• 1:31:55Speaker 04

  From your mouth.

• 1:31:55Bill Maher?

  I bet. And you can tell him what we talked about, and then...

• 1:32:00Speaker 04

  I'm sure he'll see this clip.

• 1:32:01Bill Maher?

  This will air and it'll prove it. All right.

• 1:32:04Speaker 04

  I love you, Phil.

• 1:32:05Bill Maher?

  I love you too.

• 1:32:12Bill Maher?

  I wish you could've been more open and forthcoming, but...

• 1:32:16Speaker 04

  I'm sorry. But, uh... I'm hot today.

• 1:32:18Bill Maher?

  Yeah, you know.

• 1:32:19Speaker 04

  I've been hurt before.

• 1:32:20Bill Maher?

  It's great that I could pry it out of you.

• 1:32:58Speaker 02

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