Introducing “Bear Brook: A Private Matter”

Today, we're sharing the season three premiere of Bear Brook, the critically acclaimed true crime podcast from New Hampshire Public Radio's Pulitzer Prize-nominated Document team. Bear Brook returns with A Private Matter, hosted by award-winning journalist Jason Moon. This season, Jason investigates the disappearance of Jay Hickey, a beloved Christmas tree farmer with dementia who vanishes from his small New Hampshire town. His wife Patty never reports him missing. And it turns out, that's not necessarily a crime in New Hampshire. What follows is a story about family estrangement, the growing dementia crisis, and the legal gaps that leave vulnerable people behind. Listen to more of the new season, follow Bear Brook here: https://play.megaphone.fm/3gfaxmufro-bjytd5eobrg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Speaker names marked ? are inferred from speaking time and the show’s known hosts — they are not voice-verified.

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• 1:30Hannah McCarthy?

  Hi, it's Hannah McCarthy. Today, we are sharing the season three premiere of Bear Brook, the critically acclaimed true crime podcast from my NHPR colleagues on the document team. Now, this is not really a civics show, although, as Nick and I say, everything is civics. And being true crime, this is not an episode that I would recommend playing for younger ears. Use your discretion there. Ear age is just a number. For those of you unfamiliar with Bear Brook, this show is a testament to the remarkable and rigorous journalism done by my colleagues here at NHPR. In season three, A Private Matter, award-winning journalist Jason Moon investigates another New Hampshire mystery.

• 2:13Hannah McCarthy?

  A Christmas tree farmer with dementia disappears, and his wife never reports him missing. What happened? And why was his disappearance never reported? Before we play the episode, be sure to follow Bear Brook on your favorite podcast app. And now, here is the season three premiere.

• 2:41Speaker 06

  Looking back, the whole thing could have been a Hallmark Christmas movie. Or at least, it would have started out like one. It all takes place in the little town of Epsom, New Hampshire, population 5,000. And in this little town, on the side of a little mountain, there's a Christmas tree farm.

• 3:04Speaker 07

  Everyone I knew, if you were local in Epsom, you knew of the tree farm.

• 3:09Speaker 06

  This is Katie Bartocci. In the Hallmark movie, she'd play one of the supporting characters, the voice of the town.

• 3:16Speaker 07

  We always got our Christmas tree there. My family always got their Christmas tree there. My sisters always got their Christmas tree there.

• 3:24Speaker 06

  Katie grew up on a road that leads to the Christmas tree farm. Every year, she watched cars drive by with freshly cut trees strapped on top.

• 3:32Speaker 07

  So I'd be like, oh, somebody else got a tree, somebody else got a tree. And it was like constant, like people would be coming up and down the road with trees.

• 3:39Speaker 06

  To get to the tree farm, you take a dirt road through the woods and up the side of the mountain, high enough to make your ears pop.

• 3:46Speaker 07

  You get to the top of it, and it's just like, the weather was always so crazy. I remember every time we went up there, you were there like, if it was 50 degrees down where I lived, it was like 20 degrees up there.

• 3:59Speaker 06

  When you reach the end of the road, the farm is on either side of you. Fields of grass with neat rows of Christmas trees of different heights. And then there's everything you'd expect from a classic New England farm: a stone wall, a barn, and a farmhouse that's older than the Constitution.

• 4:20Speaker 06

  And it's in that farmhouse that the Hallmark movie's main characters live: Patricia and John Hickey, Patty and Jay. If the tree farm was an institution in Epsom, so were Patty and Jay. Patty was the town's elected welfare officer for more than 30 years. Jay was even more civically involved. Over the course of his life, it seemed like he'd held just about every single post in town government, from the rescue squad to the select board. Add to that assistant coach of the local baseball team, which was sponsored by the Christmas tree farm. In the fall, Patty and Jay would hire local kids to help out for the Christmas season.

• 5:04Speaker 06

  Here's Owen Thomas and Colby Kalman. I mean, honestly, it wasn't too much. We were just, they had like a little car, and they'd just keep that on all day, keep us heated. And you and my buddies would just kind of sit there and play games and stuff until a car came up. Sometimes Jay would come out and talk to them. He knew, it seemed like he knew a lot about the trees. He would go and start talking about his blue spruces, and he would really get into the work that he was putting in in the summertime to make it all happen. And I'll tell you, he was very, very passionate about Christmas trees.

• 5:44Speaker 06

  The farm was Jay's baby. He'd owned it since the early 1970s. Patty moved in about a decade later, and together, they had a blended family of five kids. Jay had a big fluffy mustache that swept down and out on either side of his mouth, like two wings taking flight on his face. Patty wore glasses and had long, straight hair. She's always got a smile, always, always, always had a smile on her face. She'd talk to the wall if you let her. Patty was borderline Mrs. Claus, if you will. Mrs. Claus and the Christmas Tree Farmer. The movie practically writes itself.

• 6:30Speaker 06

  Jay and Patty grow old together on McCoy Mountain, surrounded by their blue spruce Christmas trees. They reach their mid-70s. It's just the two of them now. Their kids have long since grown up and moved away.

• 6:52Speaker 06

  And then, things go off-script. Jay starts having memory issues. He stops driving. In 2020, he retires from his latest post as the town's zoning compliance officer. Meadow Weissaki worked with Jay in town government at the time.

• 7:11Speaker 07

  When we noticed the decline, he started withdrawing. I mean, I think that was probably the first thing that I saw, was that when you were around him, he was very hesitant to say things to people, like he wasn't quite sure if he was following what was being discussed, or that what he was going to say was going to be appropriate. So I think he just kind of shut down.

• 7:33Speaker 06

  Jay is diagnosed with dementia. Patty becomes his caretaker, which she now has to juggle alongside her role as the town welfare officer. The job involves helping out residents who've fallen on hard times with loans or other assistance programs. If you suddenly can't afford to pay your heating bill in the dead of winter, Patty was the person to call.

• 7:56Speaker 07

  She would put her office hours around times that she could bring him in with her so that she could, you know, keep track of him and stuff. And I know when we were doing our move from the former office's location to the current office location, that he had attended with her to help with pack, or when she was packing her office. But she had to leave because he kind of wandered off because she couldn't keep track of him, you know, really closely, and he was out in front of the building, kind of wandering around.

• 8:29Speaker 06

  Most people with dementia will wander at least once. Many will do so repeatedly. Scientists don't know exactly why it happens, but inside the brain of a dementia patient, the nerve cells are dying, taking memories, motor skills, even parts of personality with them. One day, a neighbor finds Jay walking around in the snow without shoes. Another time, a landscaping worker finds him standing at an intersection more than a mile from the farm, wearing pajamas and slippers. Jay tells the landscaper he needs to get to a meeting at the town offices.

• 9:12Speaker 06

  Some people start to wonder if Patty is taking on too much. Being the town's welfare officer and a caretaker for someone with dementia, it's a lot.

• 9:24Speaker 06

  And then, in March 2024, Jay makes the evening news. He's disappeared.

• 9:32Speaker 03

  Right now, Epsom police are searching for a 76-year-old man with dementia. Police think he wandered away from his residence, but the timing in this story--

• 9:40Speaker 07

  My mom gave Pat a call just to, just to say, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Like, we're gonna look for him, like, like, you know, let us know if there's anything we can do.

• 9:52Speaker 06

  On the main Facebook group in town, there's an outpouring of concern. People offer prayers. They offer to help in a search. But some people also have questions. Something is off about the timeline of the whole situation. The news report says the last time Jay was seen was in October 2023. So why are the police just now getting involved in March 2024, five months later?

• 10:28Speaker 06

  And then there was the way Patty was acting. The news of Jay's disappearance broke on a Friday. The next day, Saturday, just so happened to be the annual Meet the Candidates forum at the Epsom Public Library. Patty was running for reelection as public welfare officer, so she was slated to give a speech. But not everyone expected she actually would, given that police were actively searching for her missing husband. Katie Bartocci says her mom was at the meeting. She called Katie as soon as it ended.

• 11:02Speaker 07

  She said, "You're not going to believe this. Pat was actually there." And I said, "No way." "Did she say anything about Jay?" "No, nothing. She said that she's rerunning for welfare coordinator, and she's going to play it by ear whether she continues on or not, like, year after year." But she did a speech, and she was put together, and she was--nothing was--nothing seemed out of place besides the fact that she didn't mention anything about Jay.

• 11:31Speaker 06

  Another person who was at the meeting told me the same thing. It wasn't that Patty was acting strange, it was that she was acting strangely normal. Around the same time, a woman named Kathy O'Mara sees the news that Jay is missing. Kathy was the Hickey family's longtime babysitter. She was close with them. She decides to go check on Patty. She has a bad feeling about this. How could five months have passed before Jay was reported missing? When Kathy arrives, police are there, searching the Christmas tree farm with cadaver dogs.

• 12:08Speaker 07

  And I just stood outside and talked to her. I really just wanted to look her in the face and say, "Pat, what happened? What's going on?" Because just knowing someone for that long, you just--I knew something wasn't right.

• 12:23Speaker 06

  So what did she say to you?

• 12:27Speaker 07

  Um, she's very evasive. She's just like, "Yeah, you know, but Pat's very calm." Like, she's always been like that kind of, like, "Yeah, I know, Jay's missing."

• 12:40Speaker 06

  But Kathy says, even for Patty, calm as she may be, it was an odd moment to be so relaxed.

• 12:47Speaker 07

  If you think about it, you're standing there talking to someone. I hadn't seen her in person for a while. And then, like, people are walking all around your property with dogs and police, and she was just very, like, "Yeah, matter of fact, um, yep, he's missing." I'm like, "Well, where is he, Pat?"

• 13:10Speaker 06

  "Where is he, Pat?" The police had the same question. Have any of you out there ever Googled your own name? Like, actually done it? You'll find your address, your phone number, maybe even that police report from the time you went to see Rain Man in the movie theater, but you were underage? Maybe that one's just me. But here's the thing. There are companies called data brokers, whose entire business model is collecting your personal information and selling it to advertisers, to strangers, sometimes to people running scams.

• 13:52Speaker 06

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• 14:33Hannah McCarthy?

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• 15:18Hannah McCarthy?

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• 17:15Speaker 06

  I first learned Jay Hickey was missing a couple of years ago, in May 2024. About three months after the news broke about his disappearance, someone reached out to me with a tip. "A lot of strangeness is starting to emerge," they wrote. Though, I got to be honest, to me, the whole thing seemed sad, but not all that unusual. An older man with dementia wanders off in the woods of New Hampshire. New Hampshire has one of the oldest populations in the country.

• 17:58Speaker 06

  Dementia rates are on the rise, and there are a lot of woods around here to get lost in. And as far as the missing man's elderly wife, Patty, she could be in decline, too. Tragic, but, again, not unexpected. But then I made a few calls, which led to a few more. And the deeper I got, the more I realized the tipster was right. A lot of strangeness did emerge. It started when I got my hands on a recording of Patty's police interrogation.

• 18:33Speaker 03

  This is Chris Elphick with the New Hampshire State Police. It is Wednesday, February 28, 2024, at 1:18 PM. I'm at the Epsom Police Department with Lieutenant James Keer and Patricia, but Patty.

• 18:47Hannah McCarthy?

  It's OK.

• 18:48Speaker 03

  Hickey, right?

• 18:49Hannah McCarthy?

  Yes.

• 18:50Speaker 03

  And how do you spell your last name?

• 18:51Hannah McCarthy?

  H-I.

• 18:52Speaker 06

  At the Epsom Police Department, population six officers, Patty sits down with Lieutenant James Keer and a state police detective named Chris Elphick. It's two days before police announced Jay's disappearance to the public.

• 19:06Speaker 03

  Patty, it's OK if I record our conversation, right?

• 19:08Hannah McCarthy?

  Yes.

• 19:09Speaker 03

  And you're here on your own accord. You drove yourself here.

• 19:11Hannah McCarthy?

  Yes.

• 19:12Speaker 03

  We're in the conference room. If at any time you're like, "I want to leave," free to do so.

• 19:16Hannah McCarthy?

  OK.

• 19:17Speaker 03

  Just, I don't know the way out of here, so.

• 19:19Hannah McCarthy?

  Yeah, good luck. Yeah, good luck with that. I've been here before.

• 19:23Speaker 06

  Remember, Patty worked in Epsom Town Government for three decades. She's been to the police station before. And maybe because of that, she doesn't sound all that nervous. She even cracks a joke with the cops. Just a few minutes into their chat, Patty mentions she didn't eat lunch, and Lieutenant Keer offers her some almonds.

• 19:42Hannah McCarthy?

  A few almonds, yeah.

• 19:43Speaker 03

  Yeah, we have some almonds.

• 19:44Hannah McCarthy?

  And some water?

• 19:45Speaker 03

  They're not sealed.

• 19:47Hannah McCarthy?

  No, that's OK.

• 19:48Speaker 03

  OK.

• 19:49Hannah McCarthy?

  But, um, because I don't think you're trying to poison me, so I'm all set.

• 19:52Speaker 03

  No, no, no.

• 19:53Hannah McCarthy?

  But, uh.

• 19:54Speaker 06

  A poison joke, with the cops questioning her about her missing husband. Maybe it seemed like the perfect icebreaker in Patty's head. After some more chit-chat, Detective Elphick of the New Hampshire State Police gets down to it.

• 20:10Speaker 03

  Sure. So when's the last time you saw Jay?

• 20:13Hannah McCarthy?

  I see him every day up here. Um, OK, let me think. I have to work backwards here.

• 20:32Hannah McCarthy?

  See him coming.

• 20:43Hannah McCarthy?

  This is February.

• 20:45Speaker 03

  Mm-hmm.

• 20:50Hannah McCarthy?

  I thought he was at his brother's all winter, so it was definitely in October, October of 23.

• 21:01Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 21:04Speaker 06

  Patty explains that by the previous October in 2023, Jay was feeling humiliated by his dementia. He didn't want all the Christmas tree customers to see him that way. He wanted to get away.

• 21:18Hannah McCarthy?

  So he said he wanted to go down and visit his brothers. So I'm like, okay, okay. So do you want me to, um, do you want me to call them and make arrangements for transportation? He said, no, I'll do that when I'm, when I'm here. And, um, um, I said, are you sure? Because I can call them and, and talk to them while you're here.

• 21:40Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 21:40Hannah McCarthy?

  And he said, no, I'll take care of it. Don't worry about it. So I said, okay.

• 21:47Hannah McCarthy?

  And I wasn't bossy. If he had, if he had a decision about something, I wasn't the type of person to think that I should be the one in charge.

• 21:56Speaker 03

  Right.

• 21:57Hannah McCarthy?

  So.

• 21:58Speaker 03

  So at what point did he, did he leave? Or did you come home and he wasn't there one day?

• 22:03Hannah McCarthy?

  I came home and, uh,

• 22:07Hannah McCarthy?

  he was not there. And I figured that he went with his brother.

• 22:13Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 22:13Hannah McCarthy?

  They came and picked him up.

• 22:15Speaker 06

  Patty says she figured Jay was just at his brother's house out of state. Only by this point, Patty knows the police have figured out Jay is not with his brothers.

• 22:27Speaker 03

  So if he's not with the brothers, which he's not with his brothers.

• 22:30Hannah McCarthy?

  Yeah.

• 22:30Speaker 03

  Where do you think he is?

• 22:32Hannah McCarthy?

  Good question. I don't have a clue. And actually, even though I was like, you know, the dogs, and I'm like, I don't want them to find him dead. I want him alive somewhere. But, um, I don't know.

• 22:50Speaker 03

  If he was to arrange a car service or whatever, how would he pay for it? Do you guys have, not, not to get, do you guys have credit cards? Or how would, how would he?

• 22:58Hannah McCarthy?

  No, he, he gave me his credit card, oh, I don't know, month, years ago and said, I don't want this.

• 23:04Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 23:04Hannah McCarthy?

  And, um, but he had a stash of cash somewhere.

• 23:09Speaker 03

  Does he have a phone?

• 23:11Hannah McCarthy?

  This is his phone.

• 23:12Speaker 03

  That's his phone?

• 23:13Hannah McCarthy?

  He didn't take it. Yeah.

• 23:18Speaker 06

  Patty is saying she came home one day to find her husband of 40 odd years gone, the one with dementia, who's been wandering, can't drive, and who left his phone behind, and assumes he just left to visit his brother out of state. Which is why Patty is not even the one who called to report Jay missing.

• 23:39Speaker 03

  So you haven't talked to him since October or how?

• 23:41Hannah McCarthy?

  Right.

• 23:42Speaker 03

  No, see, no, haven't seen him or heard from him in October. Have you been concerned about where he is at all? Like?

• 23:47Hannah McCarthy?

  Well, not until lately, because I thought he was with his brothers.

• 23:51Speaker 03

  But would it be unlike him to not talk to you for all this time?

• 23:55Hannah McCarthy?

  Considering the, the amount of time that he sleeps and he's not like with the pro, you know, not here now, um, I, I just figured he was spending those few minutes with his brothers, not.

• 24:16Speaker 03

  Have you ever, have you called the brothers to check on him at all?

• 24:20Hannah McCarthy?

  Just when we were trying, trying to, when the police came to look for him.

• 24:25Speaker 03

  Okay.

• 24:27Hannah McCarthy?

  But I didn't, because I,

• 24:31Hannah McCarthy?

  he taught me a long time ago not to be pushy about stuff. He's an adult. He makes his decisions. Some decisions we make together.

• 24:40Speaker 03

  Sure.

• 24:41Hannah McCarthy?

  And yeah, I could have called him, but most of the time he's sleeping. So I quit bothering, you know?

• 24:48Speaker 03

  Have you ever thought, what, what was your plan? Did you have a plan? As in, like, it gets to a certain month and he's not here and I haven't heard or seen from him? Like, maybe I should start reporting this?

• 25:00Hannah McCarthy?

  Well, no, because I thought he was at his, with his brothers.

• 25:04Speaker 03

  Right. But if you haven't seen him or heard from him, when you guys haven't had these big periods of separation since 1980, you haven't thought like, okay, if it comes to next, next October, and it's been a whole year that I haven't seen or heard from him, like, maybe I should start figuring out what to do?

• 25:18Hannah McCarthy?

  Well, you guys are doing that now.

• 25:20Speaker 03

  But that's not because you called us. At what point would you have called me and said, hey, my husband's?

• 25:25Hannah McCarthy?

  Oh, I see. Well, that's a good question, because, uh,

• 25:32Hannah McCarthy?

  he, a couple of reasons. Because he told me not to talk about it, which obviously now legally I need, have to. And, um, what's the other thing? Oh, time flies. Like, phew.

• 25:49Speaker 06

  I don't know exactly what the police officers were thinking in this moment. But I'll tell you what I thought. What the hell is going on?

• 26:06Speaker 06

  Usually, when someone's spouse is missing and their story about it doesn't make sense, I might assume the worst. But in this case, the story was so bizarre, I didn't know what to think. What was going on in Patty's mind? Could she really believe what she's saying? Did Jay wander off and Patty just didn't report it? Would that be a crime? And where is Jay? Was there any chance he was still alive? Or is his body somewhere up on the Christmas tree farm? I was beginning to fall down a rabbit hole. And at the bottom of it, were a bunch of people who'd already been down there for months.

• 26:48Speaker 07

  The whole thing is like, just a bizarre mystery. It's like, all these questions that the town has, the community has, are just like unanswered.

• 27:01Speaker 06

  And just like the original tipster warned me, the search for answers would only get stranger.

• 27:12Speaker 03

  You haven't been in any legal trouble, right, Pat? Ever?

• 27:16Hannah McCarthy?

  Me?

• 27:16Speaker 03

  You've never had to deal with the legal system, right?

• 27:18Hannah McCarthy?

  I was on a jury one time.

• 27:20Speaker 03

  Good feel. Honey, let's take a walk up into the woods. Let's see what we can find and get hit over the head with a shovel and buried.

• 27:31Speaker 03

  My initial thought was she killed him, because that was what I always thought would happen.

• 27:38Hannah McCarthy?

  No way, no way. They have no idea how much we love each other.

• 27:49Speaker 02

  Let me just ask him if he broke a bone or, um, okay, now my spirit guides are telling me he had a concussion.

• 27:56Speaker 06

  She was after me because she didn't like the toilet paper I had ordered for the office. Well, what kind of toilet paper did you order?

• 28:04Speaker 03

  As a search planner, I know I will probably get more resources for a missing two-year-old search than a missing 72-year-old search.

• 28:15Speaker 07

  I kind of revert back to like that Bear Brook saying, like, what if we were to just come across something? You know, and I wrote down, she said, you know, I, I found him.

• 28:26Speaker 06

  From New Hampshire Public Radio and Bear Brook, I'm Jason Moon, and this is A Private Matter.

• 28:43Hannah McCarthy?

  That was the season three premiere of Bear Brook. If you want to hear more of this gripping investigation, follow Bear Brook on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or wherever you get your podcasts.

• 28:57Speaker 04

  What does it really take to start a startup? I'm David Rosenko, entrepreneur, investor, and the host of Leap Forward. In each episode, I go behind the scenes with successful founders and someone who knew them before they were famous. Their college roommate, their first employee, or their mom. To hear the sometimes uncomfortable, but very real inside stories of how companies actually get built. Companies like Reddit, Airbnb, or Twitch. Listen to the new season of Leap Forward for never-before-heard stories behind the world's most iconic companies.

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