Why you fail to do things you know you “should” do. And 2 steps to fix your discipline for fasting.

You can feel fully capable and still not follow through and that is not a moral failure, it is a signal. When we catch ourselves saying “I should” or “I could,” we’re hearing hesitant language out loud, and it usually means our brain is not convinced the goal is worth the cost. In this episode I unpack how that shows up with healthy habits like intermittent fasting, nutrition, exercise, sleep, and productivity, and why forcing more willpower backfires. We start with the first lever: getting ...

• 0:09Speaker 00

  Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Sharina. I'm your host. I'm your partner in personal and collective transformation and growth. Your master health, sleep, stress management, body transformation, nutrition, fitness and self-actualization coach, all in one to help you grow, develop as a whole person every day, unlocking more and more of your potential. So you could live the most extraordinary, biggest vision of your life and create more positive impact in the world.

• 0:51Speaker 00

  Today, guys, we're talking about a small thing, discipline and increasing your motivation for things you should do. It's a small thing, but also it's a big thing. It's a thing that gonna help you to do two things. A, drop all of your unnecessary or what's sometimes called toxic shoots. Drop them and release energy for pursuit or something more meaningful and important at a deeper core level to you.

• 1:28Speaker 00

  And the second thing, besides releasing all this energy to things that are more rewarding and fulfilling to you from expectations of other people or I don't know, society, social media, your favorite influencer. So releasing that energy for pursuit of something more meaningful. But the second thing is helping you to do more hard things that are actually meaningful and fulfilling and lead you towards that bigger vision of your life, towards your goals and inspirations, but actually mean something important and big in your life.

• 2:12Speaker 00

  So toxic shoots, let me start with a story of a client, a conversation that I had this morning. And you probably would recognize yourself, you know, just like I recognize myself and many of my clients, many conversations that I had with people. So the conversation this morning, a question from a client. Like, I know I should fast in like intermittent fasting. Like, I know I should fast and I could, but somehow it just doesn't happen these days. I tell myself, like, today I'm gonna do it. And I did in the past successfully and it helped me a lot to make progress with my health and weight loss goals in this instance.

• 2:54Speaker 00

  And then it's mid morning and I get a bit hungry and I go and I eat something, maybe Pilton or Apple or some X. How do I get more disciplined around it to actually follow through? What's your take on it, coach? That's what the client asked, right? So I know I should do it and I could, I was able to do it in the past, but somehow it just doesn't happen. I've said through, you guys, I've said through hundreds of conversations just like this. I worked with clients on this and I read every other book and study coming out on the subject.

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  I've worked through it myself and over the years, you know, I've coached people through similar challenges for the past 18 years. Again, I worked through it myself personally. I read and I read every book and study coming out on motivation and discipline and behavior change, especially around healthy habits. And here are a couple of things that I learned that helped to address this. And these are the things that we talked through, we walked through and thought about how to put into practice with my client this morning. And these are the things you can use so you are more effective at two things again, dropping

• 4:23Speaker 00

  the shoes that you shouldn't have in the first place, which allow you to have more energy for more meaningful things. And then following through on those hard things, which are also meaningful and fulfilling. And you truly want to make this, make them happen. So two things, stay very, like, pay attention, guys. The first one, it's about why. I should, I could. You know, when I hear this, I call this hesitant language. When you hear yourself say, I should, I could, coming out of your mouth, when you hear those words coming out of your mouth, you must know one thing, guys, you must know one thing.

• 5:07Speaker 00

  Your own brain isn't convinced that it's a good idea or a good goal or a good approach or a worthy prize reward that you should be pursuing. Like, your own words tell you that, hey, I'm not convinced it's a good idea. That's why I say, I should, I could, I might. Otherwise, you've been doing it already or asking yourself or someone else how to figure it out and make it better next time. So why should you do it? Why do you care about this thing, like about fasting? Why? Yes, it might be a good idea from the perspective of some health influencer or researcher,

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  or maybe you're trying to treat a condition or like, it might sound like a good idea, but are you convinced? Have you convinced your own brain that this is the best approach?

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  If it's not a must, but you'd like to make it a must, what can make it important? What can you think of? What are the stakes for you, right? The client also told me some stories about how when he did it before, it was really very important, there was a competition, that the stakes were high. He understood why it was worth the struggle, the suffering, right? So what's your reward? The prize on the other side of the struggle, of the suffering of this challenge? Or do you think it might be, you know, just might be a good idea? But challenges are not, you don't overcome challenges because it's a good idea. You overcome them when it's important.

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  When you have a strong enough reason, you believe in 100% without a slight sign of a doubt, you will do it.

• 6:58Speaker 00

  Trust me and Nietzsche and a bunch of motivation researchers on this, you know, quote from Nietzsche, I think it was, he said it a century ago. He who has a strong enough why will bear anyhow a strong enough why, a strong enough reason. Stakes, do you have high stakes? You know, do you have skin in the game? Right? So this is the first thing. And this is what will help you to drop unnecessary shoots. Like, should you fast? If you're getting progress anyhow and you're not even convinced that your brain is not convinced that this is a good idea for any of your goals. And it might be actually sabotaging some of your goals if you want to be productive. You don't wanna be actually having hunger attacks and maybe your energy fluctuates

• 7:43Speaker 00

  all too much and it plays against other goals that you wanna pursue in, I don't know, performance, work wise, but maybe it's not working for you. And that's why your brain does not want you to do it, right? So what's your why? And if it's not important and then there are other better ways, then your brain is trying to tell you, hey, maybe that is not the best approach. Let's talk about it. That's why should and could, not must, and that's why you're not doing it. So this is thing number one, that will allow you to drop unnecessary shoots and find better ways or figure out what are your stakes and what is important. And so with a client, we're gonna do five whys exercise, five whys. Basically, you ask yourself, like, why is it important?

• 8:27Speaker 00

  Why do I think it's important? And then why? And then why? And then why? Until you truly understand your reasoning and your brain gets it, like, this is why we're trying to do it. This is why it's important, not because, again, somebody else said it might work, but because you are truly convinced in that. You gotta convince your brain first if you want your brain to help you. So this is thing number one. The second thing, when I also ask clients, like, how did you do that before? What did you when, you know, when it got challenging? And he would say, well, that was this goal and I knew it was important and it would suck, but I was, I had to do it. So, you know, I would get through the suck. So the second thing is, it's gonna suck.

• 9:11Speaker 00

  Like, when, think about it, when do you fail to follow through on your shoots and your goals, healthy habits, eating, exercising, learning, productivity, sleeping on time, et cetera? Like, when do you usually fail to follow through? Obviously, there are many times and reasons, but if I were to sum it up, I'd say, when it gets hard, that's when we fail, that's when you fail. When doing it kind of sucks. And so what's your plan for when it gets hard, for when it sucks? What are you gonna do when you feel hungry? When your mood is low? When you have no energy? What's the plan of self-management for you for then?

• 9:56Speaker 00

  How are you gonna stick with that through challenges? Most people's plan, coming from experience, guys, I was there as well, I'll just be more disciplined or I'll try harder. Well, why didn't you try harder the last time? It's not like you wanted it last, maybe because this approach isn't effective? Like, it's gonna suck. It's gonna be difficult. If it was easy, you and everyone else would just do it.

• 10:25Speaker 00

  Whatever that hard thing is, it's gonna be hard. When I needed to dial in my weight for a competition for a fitness bikini and you really get to, you know, look into your, not maybe for women, not all the single body fat percentage, but it's challenging, you get ripped and your brain does not want to cooperate. Your brain, you know, just cares about energy and helping you to survive, not get on stage. So when I had to dial in my weight for that, I would make a list of things I do when the heart gets hard, when I'd get super hungry and low on energy and mood.

• 11:04Speaker 00

  And I made a list back then and my list had things like I would go for a walk, I'd take a nap, I'd watch stand up comedy, I'd eat a cracker, like rice cake and drink some tea with a splash of milk. I'd take a hot shower, listening to my favorite music. I'd take a long bath, I'd do yoga nidra, I'd call a friend and have a laugh. Like I had a whole list on my fridge instead of eating anything from my fridge. And part of that plan was definitely not having things, foods and people around me who make temptations harder and who say, well, why bother, you know, just eat it. Not a chance.

• 11:49Speaker 00

  When you commit, guys, you would plan for the obstacles. That's when you know that you are committed because you know it's gonna suck and you know what you're gonna do when it sucks. And when you're unconvinced, when your brain isn't convinced it's a worthy idea to pursue, you shoot all over yourself and hope for the best.

• 12:11Speaker 00

  Like think about the last time your shoots didn't happen. Wasn't it one of, or both of those things? Like you, your brain wasn't really convinced it's a good idea for whichever reason, you just like didn't convince yourself that you want to do it, that it's a worthy thing to struggle for. And then the second thing, you didn't plan for, for when it gets hard and challenging and, and it's gonna suck and when you get hungry and low on energy, on mood, you just didn't plan for that. Like if you think about again, the last time your shoots did not happen, was it, wasn't it one or both of those things?

• 12:51Speaker 00

  The reason wasn't clear or big enough or worthy enough, or you didn't plan for the time that it's gonna suck. You kind of thought, mom, it might be just, it might just happen, I'll just discipline myself through it. So the practical takeaway, just like we did with my clients, we talked through that. The first thing, when you notice yourself saying should and could, et cetera, and it doesn't happen, is to get clear on your why. Why is it a worthy thing to do? Why is it worth suffering? Like what are the stakes for you? Why is it important? There are a million of other things you can spend your willpower and discipline on. So why is this thing important? Number one.

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  And then the second thing, come up with a list of things you're gonna do when it sucks. Because again, if it was easy, everyone, including you, would do it. So it's gonna be hard, it's gonna suck. What's your plan for that? How are you gonna get through the suck? And when you start doing these two things for anything that you assign yourself you should be doing, but you aren't doing, when you walk, work yourself through these two things, what you're gonna do when it sucks and what is the reason? Like why is it important? What are the stakes for you?

• 14:09Speaker 00

  Two things will happen. A, you'll drop quite a few things because you'll realize during the first exercise that, hey, it's actually not that important and there are other ways I could be achieving my goals or there are other goals I want to work on instead. And you release that energy to do something that is worth your energy to go through challenges. So that either that will happen or you'll actually set yourself up for success and you do the thing by preparing to go through hard stuff with a plan of action, not with, I'll try harder.

• 14:43Speaker 00

  And that's it, guys. Hope it was useful and you try it on your next shoot that doesn't happen, see how it works. That being said, in the show notes, and I'm gonna talk about it probably every episode for people who needed to take advantage of it. So in the show notes, there is a link to one-on-one session with me to walk you through any of the challenges or any nutrition, fitness, body transformation, stress management, sleep challenges. So the link is in the show notes and it's gonna be there. It's, it is for you to use. So please book the session when you need it, when you need some help.

• 15:27Speaker 00

  And besides that, guys, don't forget to share this episode with people so more people get better strategies to do the things that are important and drop all the other things with strategies that are proven by research, by studies and experience of people all around the world that I worked with for the past 18 years. So please share this episode. And till next time, use the strategies on your shoots and keep growing, keep unlocking your very best.