Why New Year resolutions fail and coaching succeeds. Why "Couch to 5K" works and your diet program doesn't. The law of gradual wins.

Your goal might be completely realistic, and still feel impossible because you’re trying to achieve it on your impatient timeline. I’m Angela Shurina, and I want to challenge the “zero to hero” approach that makes so many smart, motivated people burn out, quit, and then decide they are the problem. They’re not. The plan is. I use a simple analogy that makes the process of change obvious: Couch to 5K. Nobody expects to go from the couch to a marathon in a day, yet we expect that leap with ea...

• 0:09Speaker 00

  Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Shurina, I'm your host, I'm your partner in transformation, personal and collective lasting change, your master health, stress, sleep coach, executive coach 360, and just someone who is really passionate about the process of change, of improving ourselves, of using, creating, unlocking more of our human potential. So we could live the most extraordinary lives and creating more positive impact in the world. Today, guys, we are talking about the process of change, aren't we always?

• 0:52Speaker 00

  But specifically about why so much of our change efforts fail, why most of new year resolutions never work? And why coaching compared to all of that works in almost 100% of the time when it is designed well? A client of mine signed up for this challenge Couch to 5K, which is about gradually increasing the running time. First it's 60 seconds run and 90 seconds walking and three days per week, if I'm not mistaken.

• 1:31Speaker 00

  But the best part about this program of people doing, increasing their running capacity consistently, and most importantly, gradually and slowly. The program, if the program was Couch to 5K in like one day, almost everyone would fail. But because it is nine weeks and you gradually increase what you do, walking, running, and then a little bit of more running and then a little bit less walking. And then you do this consistently with rest days still.

• 2:10Speaker 00

  And then one day in nine weeks, voila, you can do your 5K run. The reason why program works so well, it is because it is paced so well. And when, very often, when we approach change in our own way, we forget this very simple truth that is known by the best coaches and practiced by the best coaching programs. Capacity is built gradually, not in one leap. Nobody goes from the couch to a marathon on willpower and motivation in one day.

• 2:51Speaker 00

  And yet, again, when it comes to our own habits, very often, eating well, sleeping well, building a business, losing weight, changing any habit at work or in relationships, we behave as if we should leap from zero to hero in one day. We announce the new plan on Monday, full commitment, every day, starting now, zero to one hundred percent in one move.

• 3:16Speaker 00

  But here's what I've learned from coaching hundreds of people over the course of eighteen years, coaching myself, taking myself through a lot of change. The goal, this goal of change, isn't wrong, like zero from hero goal isn't wrong, but your timeline is, my impatient timeline is, right? If, let's say if you're trying to lose weight and you decide, for whichever reason, reading the recent article or maybe seeing a friend succeeding with something, you decided, I'm gonna, let's say, eat sixteen hundred calories every day from now on until I lose that weight.

• 3:58Speaker 00

  And then you do it for three days, maybe five, maybe a week. And then you feel like you really can't do it, like you just don't have it in you. You are hungry as hell, you are low on energy, you are cranky, you hate your life, you...

• 4:16Speaker 00

  Every day becomes a struggle and you quit. And you decide, hey, maybe I'm doomed and weight loss is not for me and I'm just gonna decide to be happy at this weight. But, hey, you can be happy at any weight, it's your choice. But...

• 4:34Speaker 00

  Here, the choice, there are not only two choices, like this program that you chose, that you cannot do, at least not yet, or nothing. There is also such a thing as more gradual, more sustainable, more gentle weight loss. When you perhaps eat just one hundred calories less a day, maybe one less cappuccino, or no snacks, and having your meals exactly as they are. And yes, it will take longer, just like that couch to five K takes nine weeks for a reason, that's why most people can do it.

• 5:19Speaker 00

  That's exactly the same thing that could be applied to your weight loss. And depending on your weight loss goal, if you need to lose ten, twenty, I don't know, thirty kilos. It's if you just give yourself twice the timeline, in some cases even three, four, or five times, because people just need it right now, because they've been missing out on so many things and they need to feel and look their best like right now. But unfortunately, that's not doable or sustainable. Not in general, but at this, in this timeframe. Right again, there is a reason why this program Couch to Five K is nine weeks.

• 6:03Speaker 00

  Not one week, not one day. There is a reason why people don't leap from couch to a marathon. And we think, well, yeah, that's kind of understandable. And yet, we often set ourselves for failure by doing the exact opposite of what we know it works, just because it's not physical capacity, but more of other skill, skills that we don't see, like capacity to, for example, of your body to

• 6:34Speaker 00

  Exist on different types of fuel or being in a caloric deficit. Heck, even athletes, physique athletes who train for bodybuilding shows or fitness modeling shows, research shows that they do much better in terms of results, in terms of compliance, when they extend their timeline of preparation and do more gentle weight loss, even with diet breaks, meaning they do a diet for, let's say, three weeks and then they have maintenance or even in a little bit of surplus. People compliance increases and they get better and more consistent results.

• 7:15Speaker 00

  Even again with trained elite athletes you would consider, it still works better. So what it tells you is that gradual approach, it works much better. That's how most successful coaching programs work. That's why they work so much better than some new year resolutions where people try to go from zero to hero on day one. That's why new year resolutions fail, not because they're not possible, because the timeline is wrong and the approach is wrong as well. When I was quitting sugar and working through my emotional eating problem, I gave myself a year, a full year of gradual progression.

• 7:56Speaker 00

  Because by the time, by this time, by that time, I understood very well, failing many times before, that zero to hero simply never works. The version of you that disciplines yourself through week one is not the same version who maintains new habits, new skills for life.

• 8:15Speaker 00

  If you've been eating poorly for years and now you are eating well for two days a week, three days a week consistently, or you just nailed the breakfast, that's a massive win. Not a final destination, unless you want it to be, a foundation, lasting skill being built. Right now, I'm in a business coaching program, working toward my goal that's been my goal for like years, 10K per month. And I'm very clear on one thing at this point. It's gonna be a journey, not everything will work. The most important thing isn't speed, it's progress, consistency, and knowing when to scale down.

• 8:59Speaker 00

  So then, at some point, I'll be able to scale it up. Right, a lot of people working on their business journey. And when they hear other people saying, "I post that much of content, I reach out to that many people, I do that many sales calls, etc., etc., etc." They try to do the same thing. And in the first week or two, they're like, "That is impossible. That feels like I'm sacrificing my whole life to it and I'm burning out and it feels so stressful and I can't do it." And the reason why you can't do it, it's not because you are not capable of that in general, but because you're not there yet.

• 9:41Speaker 00

  You haven't built the skill of that capacity yet. And a lot of it is psychological skill that you don't see. Your learning ability, your pattern recognition, the being comfortable with doing certain things like sales calls. Those people, they build skills. And that's why what feels like a tremendous amount of work to you feel like almost no work to them, just something that they do every day. Just like a elite runner can be running 10 miles per day and feel like they are doing no work at all. And you, if you've never run before, trying to do that, you'll be dying and feeling like all of your body is collapsing.

• 10:26Speaker 00

  And again, that's not because you can't get to that level. It's because that level requires building skill gradually, doing less before you can do more. Almost every goal is possible, guys, just not on your impatient timeline. When goal, like what goal are you working on right now? That might need not like smaller goal or you telling yourself that now you just gotta be satisfied with what you have. But instead, fewer days, lower volume, smaller repetition count before it can become something more.

• 11:09Speaker 00

  Right? That's again, the best coaching programs work because they're built on this exact same principle. That before you can do more, you need to do less consistently. Not because there is, I don't know, some magic in it. It's just, it takes time to build skill, psychological, physiological and biological. That's why, again, those programs work so much better than resolutions ever could. And this episode is just about this one idea. That the goal that feels impossible to you, that behavioral goal, I don't know, you wanna eat well.

• 11:53Speaker 00

  You wanna exercise consistently, you wanna do intermittent fasting, you wanna work in your business consistently. You wanna reach out to people with offers, you wanna do more sales calls, you wanna do more content. The goal is possible, you're not, just not on your timeline. Not with that intensity that you require of yourself from day one. Like you were doing it for the past five or 10 years. And again, when we think about things like running or lifting weight. Let's say you decide to squat with a barbell.

• 12:35Speaker 00

  It kind of makes sense to us that you can't just, well, for some, to some people, it still doesn't make sense. And they try running marathons from day one or 10 miles every day. But usually in physical skill, we understand that you can't really go from zero to being an Olympic athlete. And somehow we forget that all of the other skills, no matter what those skills are, they Require that gradual transition and building up of skill before we can get to our aspiration. And it requires more time than our impatient self wants us to believe because we need it now. It will require more effort, there's going to be, there's going to be a learning period.

• 13:20Speaker 00

  We're not going to be getting everything right because a lot of what we think should work is based on our assumptions and not knowing how the thing actually works. But the good thing is that, again, almost every goal that other people achieve is possible for you, except, you know, if it's purely physical skill and you need to be two meters tall and you're just, you know, fifty centimeters short of that, that might not be possible at the moment with our technological advancement. But outside that, most of the things in life are achievable, but they require a longer timeline, a gradual building up of skill, not zero to hero,

• 14:03Speaker 00

  and a lot of learnings and adjustments on the way there. So my aspiration or motivation, my vision for this podcast episode is for you to get grounded with this idea that the things that you want are usually on the other side of skill building, which requires, just like couch to five K, time and gradual, consistent buildup of skill, not a zero to hero leap in one day or one soup. Even if it's a behavioral goal, you're like, I'm gonna eat well.

• 14:47Speaker 00

  Nothing's preventing me from doing like the best diet I think there is from day zero.

• 14:55Speaker 00

  Yes, there is something that's preventing you from doing so. If you've been eating poorly your entire life, like your body has to adjust, your lifestyle, your psychology, your metabolism, a lot of things have to adjust. And you have a lot of things to learn before you can actually do that with confidence, consistency, and so that it doesn't overwhelms your whole life and feels very unsustainable. That's it for today, guys. Please do share this podcast episode with one ambitious person who is failing and failing and failing with their goals, not because they're not capable, but because they're not taking it, not taking this gradual approach. Share this podcast episode with them. Use it in your own life.

• 15:39Speaker 00

  If you're working on some goal and you haven't been able to maintain consistency because it feels so damn hard, scale it down. And that's it, guys. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for listening and till next time, keep growing, but gradually and consistently.