Pod Insights Change Wired The obsession with the finish line is what holds back your progress. The goal-setting mistake most non-coaches do. The obsession with the finish line is what holds back your progress. The goal-setting mistake most non-coaches do. Change Wired
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About this episode The finish line is seductive and often the very thing that stalls progress. We take you inside a behavior-first approach that replaces outcome anxiety with clear, repeatable actions you can control today. Speaking from nearly two decades of coaching, we break down why revenue targets, weight goals, and follower counts are lagging indicators that reflect the past, and how leading indicators—your consistent behaviors—are the true drivers of future results. W...
Transcript 0:09 Speaker 00 Hello and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Sharina, I'm your host, I'm your partner in change, personal and collective transformation, and just someone who's really passionate about personal and collective growth, our evolution, doing our best and creating more positive impact, and just seeing what we are capable of. Today, guys, is another AI experiment where my AI co-host will walk you through my daily blog, and this approach that I've learned through 18 years of coaching that will help
0:49 Speaker 00 you to achieve and overachieve your goals without stressing about them, without feeling pressured, and very often, to be honest, dissatisfied and demotivated by not meeting your targets. It might sound contradictory that what I'm telling you is start forgetting about focusing on your goals, which are not in your control, and instead focusing what is in your control almost entirely, that is your daily actions. So, without further ado, please tune in to today's conversation between my AI host, which
1:31 Speaker 00 are taught to have a conversation based on my daily blog, which, where you will learn, again, what to focus on, how not to set the goals, so you have the motivation, the energy, the happiness, the no pressure while achieving hard goals. So, how to set the goals right, so you get to overachieve them without feeling demotivated, pressured, or like you are falling behind.
1:59 Speaker 01 You know, we all share that impulse, it's, it's just human nature.
2:03 Speaker 00 Absolutely.
2:03 Speaker 01 Whether it's, I don't know, the turn of the year, a big birthday, or just that feeling when you realize you're in the final stretch.
2:10 Speaker 02 The last month of 2025 is suddenly staring you in the face.
2:13 Speaker 01 Exactly. And boom, we instantly fixate on these huge flashy outcome goals. I'm gonna make three times my salary and lose 30 pounds. You know, the drill, we just, we worship the destination.
2:24 Speaker 02 We do. It's the magnetic pull of that finish line. And I mean, it's understandable. Our whole society rewards outcomes, not effort. But the thing we've learned from our sources today, which by the way, draw on almost two decades of intensive coaching, is that focusing on that result is probably the number one reason people get stuck.
2:44 Speaker 01 It's what keeps them stuck.
2:45 Speaker 02 Yeah, they create this massive anxiety because they're obsessed with something they can't actually directly control.
2:52 Speaker 01 And that's the crucial insight we're really diving into today. Our mission is, well, pretty simple. To stop chasing that outcome and start mastering the only lever we actually have, our behavior. Because even if you're looking at the calendar right now and thinking, ah, it's too late, the source material reminds us that, you know, one twelfth of a year is a surprisingly generous amount of time.
3:13 Speaker 02 It is if, and it's a big if. You shift your focus to the right mechanism.
3:18 Speaker 01 It's that profound difference between, say, staring at a leaderboard and just concentrating on the quality of your next move.
3:26 Speaker 02 Exactly. And we have to define this core idea really clearly. On the one hand, you have outcome goals.
3:32 Speaker 01 The flashy stuff.
3:33 Speaker 02 The flashy stuff, the weight loss, the revenue, the praise. These are results that what we call lag indicators.
3:40 Speaker 01 Okay.
3:40 Speaker 02 And then you have behavior goals, and these are the actual repeatable actions, the consistency, the frequency, and the effort you apply right now, today.
3:50 Speaker 01 Okay, let's unpack this because the central argument here, the thesis, is that real sustainable transformation never comes from an obsession with the destination. It comes from this simple relentless commitment to, and I'm quoting here, doing as many quality reps as you possibly can. And I have to say, that sounds a lot more achievable than, you know, trying to magically manifest a million dollars.
4:16 Speaker 02 It is so much more achievable, and the reason we get stuck chasing those. Big shiny targets is because they all suffer from the exact same fatal flaw.
4:24 Speaker 01 Which is what's
4:24 Speaker 02 They're all lagging indicators.
4:26 Speaker 01 Let's get specific. Let's detail those classic offenders. The targets that feel like goals, but are really, according to this philosophy, just measurements.
4:36 Speaker 02 Okay, think about the big ones, the ones everyone sets. How much money you'll make this year? That's a huge one.
4:41 Speaker 01 Yep.
4:41 Speaker 02 Or for entrepreneurs, how big my business will get. In the creative space, it's always how many likes, shares, or you know, positive comments you'll get.
4:49 Speaker 01 Oh, that's a dangerous one.
4:50 Speaker 02 It is. And of course, the perennial favorite in fitness. The specific weight I'll hit, or my dream body composition.
4:58 Speaker 01 Okay, so those sound like perfectly good goals.
5:00 Speaker 02 Yeah.
5:01 Speaker 01 But you're saying they are lagging indicators. What does that actually mean in practice?
5:04 Speaker 02 It means they are results, pure and simple. They can only reflect the work you've already put in.
5:10 Speaker 01 That's it.
5:10 Speaker 02 They can't drive future action. I mean, think about your bank balance, or the number on the scale, or your follower count. They're just mirrors. They reflect yesterday's effort, or you know, lack of effort.
5:21 Speaker 01 The scoreboard at the end of the game.
5:23 Speaker 02 Exactly. Not the strategy you're executing in the third quarter.
5:27 Speaker 01 The psychological danger there seems immediate. If I'm just obsessing over that mirror and the reflection doesn't change for a few days, I feel like a failure.
5:35 Speaker 02 You do.
5:36 Speaker 01 Even if I did all the right things.
5:37 Speaker 02 Precisely. And that feeling leads to paralysis or burnout. The whole coaching rationale is this. Outcomes are just not 100% in your control.
5:48 Speaker 01 Right.
5:48 Speaker 02 You can control the quality of your product, but you can't control a sudden market shift. You can't control a global pandemic that shrinks everyone's budget. And if you tie your self-worth to that uncontrollable outcome.
6:01 Speaker 01 Yeah.
6:01 Speaker 02 You're basically setting yourself up for emotional whiplash.
6:04 Speaker 01 So the only lever you can pull, the only thing you can really rely on, is the action itself.
6:09 Speaker 02 Hmm.
6:09 Speaker 01 The only thing you can schedule, track, and I guess guarantee, is the quality, the consistency, and the frequency of your behavior.
6:18 Speaker 02 Yes. You have to distinguish between leading indicators. Your behaviors, which predict the future. And the lagging indicators, the outcomes, which just measure the past.
6:30 Speaker 01 So if my goal is to grow my business.
6:32 Speaker 02 The lagging indicators, revenue, sure, but the leading indicators. That's stuff like making 15 cold calls a day, or publishing one really well-researched article a week. Things you can actually do.
6:44 Speaker 01 If we connect this to the bigger picture, then. It sounds like we have to stop letting ourselves get emotionally paralyzed by these targets that are just inherently out of our immediate reach.
6:54 Speaker 02 That's the truly liberating step.
6:56 Speaker 01 You can only grab the next action, the next behavior. You can't just reach out and grab a million dollar outcome right now.
7:01 Speaker 02 Not at all, and we spend so much energy worrying about it. Instead of stressing about your target weight for next month, just focus on the behavior you can literally schedule for 6 a.m. tomorrow.
7:10 Speaker 01 Like a 45-minute workout.
7:12 Speaker 02 A 45-minute strength training session, whatever it is. The Source's philosophy is you have to accept the randomness of the world and anchor your effort in things that happen on your calendar, not things that depend on, well, luck or external validation.
7:26 Speaker 01 This moves us into what the Source describes as this really profound internal change that happens when people finally make this shift.
7:34 Speaker 02 Hmm.
7:35 Speaker 01 There's a moment when your attention moves from the anxiety of getting something to the clarity of doing something. The Source says something just settles.
7:45 Speaker 02 It creates a powerful psychological anchor. I mean, when you stop chasing success, chasing validation, chasing applause, that whole chasing mentality.
7:53 Speaker 01 Yeah.
7:54 Speaker 02 And you start focusing entirely on just executing the task in front of you, the creating mentality. You become radically grounded in the present. You're not waiting for luck anymore. You are generating reality with your own effort.
8:04 Speaker 01 Here's where it gets really interesting, for me at least, this creation mindset. It forces you to ask new, better questions. So if my outcome goal was, say, be a famous writer, I might spend all day just checking my stats online. But if my behavior goal is, write 500 words of new fiction today, what question does that force me to ask myself?
8:26 Speaker 02 Well, the primary question immediately becomes, how can I do more quality with every single rep I take?
8:32 Speaker 01 Yeah.
8:33 Speaker 02 You're not focused on some distant lottery win anymore. You're focused on mastery, on process. You're asking, how can I make these 500 words better? Did I use my best energy for this task? It grounds you in reality because your measure of success becomes your commitment, not your conversion rate.
8:48 Speaker 01 Okay, but I have to challenge this a little. We're human, right? We need motivation. If I completely stop thinking about the outcome, the dream boss, the freedom that more money provides, how do I stay motivated through that boring middle?
9:01 Speaker 02 That is a critical question.
9:02 Speaker 01 Where the behavior is tedious and the results haven't shown up yet.
9:05 Speaker 02 And the source argues that, yes, the initial spark, that activation energy, does come from the vision. The outcome goal is the North Star.
9:12 Speaker 01 OK, so it has a purpose.
9:14 Speaker 02 It has a purpose. But your long-term momentum is maintained by tracking your progress in behavior, not just results and outcomes. When you finish that 45-minute workout, you achieved 100% of your behavior goal.
9:27 Speaker 01 Regardless of what the scale says.
9:28 Speaker 02 Regardless of what the scale says tomorrow morning. That daily guaranteed sense of accomplishment, that is the true fuel for the boring middle.
9:36 Speaker 01 So it forces a more rational allocation of time and energy. It kind of strips away the magical thinking that if I just wished hard enough for that business, it'll just appear.
9:46 Speaker 02 Precisely. You have to look at that ultimate goal, that health goal, that revenue target, and strip away the fantasy. And you have to ask yourself, what actions does this goal rationally, systematically require?
9:58 Speaker 01 That's the key question.
10:00 Speaker 02 For anyone listening right now, take your biggest aspiration and define the three essential repeatable behaviors you need to do this week. That's the real assignment. The outcome is the reward for doing the behaviors, not the thing you chase.
10:13 Speaker 01 This brings us to a really crucial clarification, though. Does this mean outcome goals are just useless? Do we just abandon having a vision or a target altogether?
10:22 Speaker 02 No, absolutely not. And the source is very firm on this. Goals and vision matter enormously. They give you direction. They're the compass, the North Star. Their whole job is to provide the context for why you're doing those daily behaviors in the first place.
10:36 Speaker 01 So a tool for direction, but not the engine itself?
10:39 Speaker 02 Right. They're not, as the source puts it, God's handing out blessings that will reward you just because you asked nicely. If you worship the goal itself, the revenue number, the specific weight on the scale, you become inflexible. You risk taking shortcuts.
10:56 Speaker 01 You become brittle.
10:56 Speaker 02 You become brittle.
10:57 Speaker 01 Yeah.
10:58 Speaker 02 When life inevitably throws you a curve ball, the idea is you check the compass every so often to make sure you're still heading north, but you have to keep moving your feet by taking that next step.
11:08 Speaker 01 OK, so let's get practical. Let's talk about the method the source recommends for actually integrating both of these things, the long-term vision and the immediate effort. It's a two-step process.
11:17 Speaker 02 It is. Step one is what's called the realistic assessment. You have to look at your outcome goal and determine the required commitment. You ask the question, given my goals, realistically, what actions, how much effort, and how often do I need to show up to reach them in the timeframe I've chosen?
11:34 Speaker 01 It's a sober, objective analysis.
11:36 Speaker 02 It has to be. If you want to run a marathon in six months, you need to commit to a real training schedule, not just, you know, wish for better cardiovascular fitness.
11:44 Speaker 01 And after that assessment is done, step two is maybe the hardest part.
11:49 Speaker 02 Yeah.
11:49 Speaker 01 Psychologically, it's called the release.
11:52 Speaker 02 Yeah. Once you've defined the necessary behavior, you let it go. You stop fantasizing about the outcome and you commit 100% to scheduling and executing the effort.
12:02 Speaker 01 You prioritize the behaviors.
12:03 Speaker 02 You prioritize the behaviors you can control and you accept upfront that the outcome will never arrive exactly when or how you want it to. Your only job is to show up and do the work.
12:12 Speaker 01 Well, let me push back on that, though. I mean, in a professional setting, releasing the outcome goal seems almost impossible. My boss, my shareholders, my clients, they all demand results. If I truly release that revenue target, how do I maintain the professional rigor I need to actually hit it?
12:29 Speaker 02 That's a brilliant point because we do live in a results-driven world. And the source addresses this by saying the release is internal, not external. Externally, you manage expectations. You report on lagging indicators. You do your job. Internally, however, you hold yourself accountable only to the behaviors you identified in step one. The focus shift is your psychological shield against stress.
12:52 Speaker 01 So if you miss the target?
12:53 Speaker 02 If you miss the target, you know whether you executed your process perfectly or not. And if you did execute the process perfectly and you still missed, it means your assessment in step one was wrong, not your effort.
13:04 Speaker 01 Wow. That reframes failure completely. It totally changes the internal dialogue when that inevitable moment comes, when the outcome doesn't show up on schedule.
13:13 Speaker 02 Yes.
13:14 Speaker 01 It turns it from a moral failing into just data.
13:17 Speaker 02 It fundamentally changes judgment into feedback. When you're only committed to the outcome, missing the target feels like you, as a person, failed. It triggers self-judgment. It makes you want to give up. But when you're committed to the action, a missed target just becomes pure, invaluable feedback on how effective your plan was.
13:36 Speaker 01 So it's no longer, I failed, I'm quitting. It's, okay, the data is in, my plan needs an adjustment.
13:42 Speaker 02 Exactly. This whole behavioral shift replaces that self-defeating spiral with three really powerful self-reflection questions. It creates a continuous learning loop.
13:52 Speaker 01 What are they?
13:53 Speaker 02 One, did I actually do my best on the behaviors I committed to? Be honest. Two, what did I learn about the relationship between my actions and the outcome I wanted? And three, what will I do next now that I have this new information?
14:06 Speaker 01 That feels like a much more powerful, sustainable growth engine than just raw willpower.
14:10 Speaker 02 It is. The summary statement is this: Outcomes report back. Actions move you forward.
14:15 Speaker 01 So what does this all mean for you, listening right now?
14:18 Speaker 02 It means that your precious time and energy needs to be spent entirely on the things you can control today. Your company may not secure that huge client this month, but you can definitely commit to scripting and delivering two perfect sales presentations every single week.
14:32 Speaker 01 Your fitness level might not jump by some metric tonight.
14:35 Speaker 02 But you can absolutely commit to 10 minutes of recovery stretching before bed.
14:40 Speaker 01 So this whole deep dive, really, is giving us permission to stop obsessing over the anxiety of the future and to commit fully to the process of the present. It's about focusing on the doing of things we already know are important, rather than just hoping for the getting of a result.
14:57 Speaker 02 That is the essential call to action for this final stretch of the year. It's time to define those actions. What specific measurable doing goals will you commit to for the rest of this timeframe?
15:09 Speaker 01 Not the fantasy outcome.
15:10 Speaker 02 No, the concrete.
15:11 Speaker 01 And the source insists that the most important part of this is making that commitment tangible. Otherwise, it's just more magical thinking.
15:18 Speaker 02 You have to put it in writing. Define the commitment clearly using the structure we saw in the source. This month I commit to doing daily, weekly. And this commitment, it isn't just about achieving some short term target. It's about what you practice repeatedly, deliberately to grow the person you want to meet on January 1st.
15:35 Speaker 01 Yeah, so the true outcome.
15:37 Speaker 02 The true outcome, the most valuable long term result is the evolution of yourself. And that is driven solely by the quality and the consistency of the actions you choose to take today.
15:48 Speaker 00 And that concludes today's episode, which I recorded on December 1st in aspiration to help you focus on the right kind of lever, on the biggest lever to grow the person you want to see on January 1st and beyond. Thank you for listening. Thank you for tuning in. Don't forget to share, to spread the podcast to more ears. So we all get to grow more consistently the best version of selves, which creates amazing things in the world and just has extraordinary life. So thank you for tuning in. Thank you for working on yourself and keep growing.
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